A/N-Yay, I finally updated a bit faster then usual! The skit is going to be Antoinette and co.
Mary-Sues will make an appearance, but they will never appear again because I don't like my own OCs.
Erik also might act a bit OOC with his feelings towards some of the Mary-Sues, but that's how I thought that Hyde acted during this episode.
I am not making fun of phan girls .If any of you get that impression, then I'm sorry.
I have messed with the space time continium just so I can mention Jack the Ripper.

Disclaimer-I barely have enough money to buy lunch. Does that really scream 'owner of famous play and/or hit television series' to you? I also do not own Big Rhonda. She belongs to That 70's Show.
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Erik, Philippe, and Andre are in Erik's house just hanging around. Philippe is a bit upset since Sorelli and he are going through the down part of their roller coaster relationship. Andre is still as horny and needy as ever ,and Erik is still perfectly fine with his bacheloredom.

The Vicomte gives an agitated sigh. "Do you know who enjoyed hanging around? Sorelli did." He then frowns and hangs his head.

Erik rolls his eyes at the teen. "You speak of her as if she is dead! When in truth you two have just separated momentarily after some meaningless spat. Will you get over it already?" exclaimed the deformed boy. "And look on the brightside, without Sorelli bothering you for the moment, you are free to be with any women that you desire.Even if she be a bit sleezy."

"Wasn't Sorelli a bit sleezy in the first place?" asked Andre. This earned him a punch in the arm from Philippe. "OUCH! Okay, sorry. I'll watch what I say about your sleezy girlfriend." apologized the moronic youngster. This comment earned him another punch. "OWW!"

Erik chuckles at Andre's pain.

Andre glares at Erik. "This is your fault Erik! Making me walk into a conversation about the sleeziness of certain ballerinas. I think you just threw out that last comment to disguise your true feelings about love. We all know that you need it." stated Andre.

"Why do I need love?" questioned Erik.

This question caused Andre to frown. "Because I need it." answered he a bit pitifully.

Erik stares at him weirdly. "I think that I shall go off and terrorize the opera house before you two turn into women." The masked boy then gets up and departs from his own home.

Philippe watches as he leaves before he faces Andre again. "For once, I wish that it would be Erik who would fall in love.Then we could make fun of him!" shouted the aristocrat. "We could gather everyone around and be like, 'Hey everyone! Erik is in love! HA!' " Philippe then starts nodding excessively as he thinks of this possibility. "It would be the best burn."

Andre stares at him in a befuddled manner. Then his eyes widen as an idea hits him. "I think that we should get Erik a girl! We could throw him a 'Let us get Erik a girl' party." suggested the often dim witted teen. "There would be beverages, food, music, and ummmm..."

"Women?" offered Philippe.

"Exactly!" yelled Andre.

Philippe and Andre are at Philippe's house telling Antoinette, the Persian, and Sorelli about their idea. The Comtesse just happens to be in the same room ,eavesdropping.

"I think that this is a splendid idea!" exclaims Sorelli excitedly. "I will help him find the perfect match! They don't call me 'The Matchmaker' for nothing!"

"Noone calls you that."said Antoinette.

"Are you sure that this is such a good idea?" asked the Persian. "I don't think many of your Parisian girls could handle the psychotic mood swings and the actual face of Erik."

"Well there is bound to be someone as equally crazy as him." said Andre.

"Maybe there will be a nice innocent ,young girl that will see past all of that and love him for the tortured soul that he is." suggested Antoinette.

Everyone thinks over the possibility of this happening. "Na!"

Andre resumes going over the details of the party. "Now I all think that we should at least bring a maximum of 3 girls. And then if any of them are feeling dejected and are eventually rejected, I can be the shoulder that they can cry on. I will then escort them all to my place, where they can all get back at Erik by sleeping with me."

Everyone stares at Andre. A moment of awkwardness has descended upon the room. It is finally broken by the Persian moving towards the door. "I think that I shall go back to the opera house." He hurriedly rushes out the exit.

Both of the dancers look after his departing figure. "Wait for me!" They then race out of the room as well.

The countess approaches those still remaining. "Well I think that it is a phenomenal idea that you should want to match up your little friend!" exclaims the woman cheerily. "Maybe the lucky girl will help him find his way."

Philippe gives his mother a fake smile. "Yes. A girl once helped me find my way...TO HELL! I'M IN HELL!" shouted the viscount.

His mother looks at him disapprovingly and gives him a light tap on the head. "Get over yourselfPhilippe.That's what happens when yougive youryoung naive heart toa dancer.Anyways, you are not in hell." said the Comtesse. "But if you are feeling too warm then simply just take off your jacket!" She starts thinking some things over. "I guess the only reasonable place to have this little celebration is here. Well I guess that we will have the party here!"

At the words 'have the partyhere' the Comte de Chagny entered the room. "No dear." commanded the count. His wife looks at him in a confused manner. "I have absolutely no idea what you people were talking about, but the answer is 'no'. " explained Philibert.

"Well Philibert, we are going to have a party here so that Philippe's little friend can find the woman of his dreams." explained the countess.

"Why here? Why must it always be here?" asked the Comte agitatedly.

His wifelooks at him crossly. "Where else are they to have it? The street?" countered his spouse.

"That's exactly where I wish they would have it!" answered the count. "If they break something, at least it's not mine! If they vomit, the city cleans it up!"

Cut to 2 nights from now. Andre and Philippe are in the midst of a multitude of girls in Philippe's house.

Sorelli burst through the threshold of the door and races over to the only two males at the party. "Look who I brought!" exclaimed the girl excitedly. Following behind heris a heavyset, red headed girl. She tuggs at the dress that seems very weird on her. She also wipes at a booger on her nose with her whole arm and gives a deaf defying burp.

Philippe's jaw opens at the sight of this girl. "Big Rhonda?"

The dancer nods happily.

"There goes all the wine." murmurs the Vicomte. He then walks away before he can be further disgusted by her presence.

Suddenly, the Comtesse comes in with a giant smile on her face. "Look who has arrived everyone!" exclaims the noble woman. Everyone's head turns to the door where they see the Persian dragging Erik by the scruff of his collar. "An intelligent, mysterious, interesting young man...Erik!"

The Persian drops Erik on the floor in front of Andre.

The masked boy gets up, brushes himself off, and looks around at the party that has resumed itself. "Why did you drag me here? I was going to spend a nice, quiet evening by myself since all of those airheaded ballerinas seemed to have left." He looks around at all the attendees of the party. "I guess I know where they all went now."

Andre becomes very excited at his question. "Well if you must know Erik, we are having a party with women, wine, and women." He gives him a huge grin. "For no reason at all."

"Okay." replies Erik.

"And there is no ulterior motive to this party whatsoever." added Andre nervously.

Erik gives him a strange look. "Sounds wonderful."

Andre becomes very agitated by this response. "Stop interrogating me! When I say there is nothing going on, I mean there is nothing going on!" shouts the not so bright teen.

Erik jumps at Andre's seemingly random shouting. The Persian grabs Andre and drags him away before he can give anything else away.

Later that evening...

Erik is in a corner eating a sandwich by himself when Andre comes up to him. "Bonjour Erik. I think that it is time that you met some of the very special women here." He then starts to lead Erik around the room.

The first girl they meet is a slim blonde.She starts throwing him seductive looks. "I just wanted you to invite you over to my church. We meet there every day to pray and discuss the Bible. It's a really spiritual experience.Would you like to come some time?"

Erik shakes his head vigorously.

She walks off in a huff, and the next woman they meet is much older.In fact, she seems old enough to be his mother."I used to date your father. Don't you find that attractive?"She then tries to stroke his head.

Erik moves away from her in fear. "Considering that I think my father is absolute scum, women that are not my mother that have been with him romantically are no better in my mind." replied the freaked out teen.

They then walk over to a group of ballerinas from the opera house. Jammes is the first one to confront him. "I know that they say that the lead dancer is always the best, but it's really the backup ones that can outshine her. I can demonstrate if you want!"

"No thank you. I've seen you practice, and there is definitely a reason why you are not the prima ballerina." replies Erik.

The next girl from the group to approach him is a nervous looking blonde. "I think that I could date you." stated the girl from nowhere. "I only date guys that I think are not as attractive as me. I have to date those kinds of boys or else I would never date." said the insecure girl.

"I think that I'm way less good looking than you are!" shouted Andre hopefully. Erik grabs his ear and drags him away from the group of ballerinas. He accidentally runs into Big Rhonda.

"Watch were you are going!" booms the huge girl. She then remembers what the purpose of the party is. "I mean, so sorry for running into you like that." apologized Big Rhonda awkwardly. She then catches sight of the sandwich in Erik's hand. "Are you going to finish that?" She starts licking her lips at the thought of the sandwich.

"Yes." replies Erik. He shoves the remainder of the sandwich into his mouth and swallows it before her eyes. "Now if you excuse me, I need to meet some more of these women."

When he turns around to run off, he is met by a fidgety blonde. "I have heard that you can be very angry and cannot control your emotions, but I think that we can still make a relationship work because my father and my boyfriend are in jail." stated the blonde. She starts winking at him suggestively.

"That is great to hear. Umm send my regards to them." replied Erik as he backed away.

He then sits down in his little corner to be alone when a cheerful red head approaches him. "Do you have any turn offs? Because I have plenty. Some of them include, people who scare other for the pure fun of it, people who go into violent mood swings, and people who do morphine or opium." She sees his look of disinterest as she lists her turn offs. "Or maybe it's guys who don't do drugs? Or do use drugs?" She tries to decipher his stoic face. "Wait, do you do drugs?"

He gets out of his seat and leaves his corner without answering her question. He tries to make his way back to Andre, but his path is blocked by hyper-active redhead. "Hey there Erik! I've heard so much about you! Guess which one of my legs is real!" challenged the perky girl.

"I would rather not." mumbles Erik. He pushes past her just to run into a petite little brunette. "Sorry." murmurs Erik. He then helps the girl to her feet.

The small girl stares at him in awe. "This is so awesome! I have always wanted to meet you because I have been horribly frightened at the mere mention of your name, and I really enjoy being scared." One of her eyes twitches unbeknownst to the girl.

"Good for you." replies Erik. "I need to go talk to my friend right now." He moves past the twitchy brunette and finally makes it to Andre without running into any more strange girls.

"So what do you think about all these girls so far, Erik?" asked Andre.

Erik gives Andre an exasperated look. "If I time it right, I think that I might be able to strangle everyone of these girls...tonight." stated the homicidal boy.

Andre stares at him in horror. "No, no, and no! You are supposed to choose one of these girls to love not to murder! Love, I say! LOVE!"

"Sure." replies Erik unconvincingly. He walks away from Andre.

"Listen to me Jack the Ripper," commanded Andre, "I threw this party together for you so that you could find one girl that you could be happy with! Did you hear that? Just one!"

The masked boy stares at him as he reveals the purpose of the party. "So this whole thing was just a ruse to match me up?"

"You got it. We thought that you could use some help in the love department-"

"What?" exclaimed the now outraged prodigy. "You people talk about me while I am not there! Well I am perfectly happy with my current status and do not desire your help." spat back Erik.

Andre narrows his eyes at the disfigured boy. "I slave away trying to convince all these girls to come. And for what? Nothing! Well if that is your attitude, then you can just leave."

Erik looks at him amusingly. "But Andre-"

"I said 'leave'." repeated Andre icily.

Erik merely shrugs his shoulders and leaves the party. As he is walking along the de Chagny's driveway, he sees two girls coming closer. As they come nearer, he identifies one of them as Antoinette. The girl by her side is a beautiful raven haired girl with mesmerizing emerald greeneyes. He is smitten by the latter's presence.

"Bonjour Erik." greeted Antoinette. She then pointed to the girl by her side. "This is Marietta. She just came to the opera house to train to be the leading soprano." explained the dancer. "Marietta, this is Erik. I figured that I might as well introduce you to him before you come to know him on a more frightening basis."

Marietta puts out a hand, and Erik grasps it and shakes it.

"Are you already leaving?" asked Antoinette.

"Me? No. I...just wanted...air...It's quite stuffy...in there." stammered the usually smooth talking boy. "The air out here...is much...nicer! Nice is what it is, I tell you. I like smelling how fresh air can be. What about you?" asked Erik to Marietta. He was still clutching on to her hand.

She smiles at him awkwardly. "Air is great. One of the key neccessities to life.Do you know what's even better? Water."

Erik finally releases her hand and starts laughing at her comment. "Good one! You are so...funny." He then starts nodding awkwardly at her.

Antoinette stares at Erik on account of his strange behavior. "Well enough with the small talk, we came here for a party ,and I think that we should go to it." With thatshe led Marietta towards the house.

Erik watches the pair go into the house. After a few moments he rushes in after them.

A while later, Erik and Marietta are talking with each other.

Erik starts to walk off aways. "I think that I shall go and fetch a beverage."

Marietta smiles at him. "That is nice. You can go and get one for yourself as well."

Erik is thrown off by this comment. "But I was...That drink was...Would you like me to get you a drink?" asked the confused teen.

"That would be good. Thank you for the offer." She then smiles sweetly at him as he goes off to get her a drink.

He comes back shortly and offers it to her. "Are you enjoying yourself?"

She thinks over this question briefly. "Your question reminds me of something. I have to go now." She starts walking towards the exit.

Erik chases after her. "Marietta!" She whirls around at the mention of her name. "I was just wondering if you would like to do something during your break times at the opera house. I just happen to work there as well."

Marietta seems interested by this piece of information. "You do? What exactly do you do there?"

The little opera ghost is struck dumb by this question. "I guess you could say that I am sort of a...disaster preventer. At times, I am also a very valuable advice giver. I am also an excellent tutor!"

The singer in training looks at him skeptically. "Is that so? Because Antoinette told me that you run around the opera house causing havoc to the managers when they don't obey your commands, or as you put it, 'advice'."

Erik punches the air in defeat. "Dammit Antoinette!" mutters the boy quite audibly. He then looks at her with a more apologetic look on his face. "Let me rephrase that last question. Would you like to spend an evening together when I am not occupied with my ghostly duties?"

She gives him another smile. "Since you put it that way, I would love to. Come look for me during your spare time."

Erik tries his hardest to contain his laughter. "Moi search for you? I don'tthink so." He sees her start to frown and immediately changes his demeanor. "Great idea! I shall look for you!" He finally breathes easy when she takes leave of the party.

Antoinette, who had witnessed his nervousness throughout the entire evening that she had been there, approached him with a silly smile on her face. "I will look for you. I will seek you out. Completely whipped." commented the dancer cheerily.

The masked boy once again resumes his air of indifference. "Whipped? I was in no way behaving like a controlled moron. That Marietta girl means nothing to me!"

Antoinette is unconvinced. "You were as whipped as a slave that won't obey his master." countered the girl. She then makes mushy faces at him while he starts grimacing at how soft he was.