A/N- Here is another installment of my strange tale that has no real plot line. I'm just happy as long as people seemingly read this story. Well this chapter is for Denekrad ,who asked me for this type of pairing so I'm giving it to her.
This first skit skit will be the normal group. I tried to keep Erik and Christine in character ,but as most humor phics go, you find that pretty difficult. I think thatI accidentally turned Christine into a dominant female coughplayboycough type.At least I can say that I tried.Raoul's probably going to seem strange ,so I'm just going to say that being drugged left a lasting affect on him throughout this chapter. That's why you shouldn't do drugs kids! That's my little public service announcement.

Disclaimer-I own neither That '70s Show or Phantom of the Opera. If I did, then I would have written a sequel to Phantom and invent a season nine of That '70s Show were Jackie and Hyde are together, we find out what country Fez is from, Donna is a redhead and is back with Eric, Kelso is back to his womanizing ways, and Bob doesn't move to Florida. I'd also have to twist the space time continium in order to keep it in the '70s since the show ended on January 1,1980. But I'm not God so I can't do that. Basically I own nothing which could give me a comfortable lifestyle.
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Erik drags Raoul's unconscious body into the Communist's dungeon and 'comfortably' chains him up. He is about to leave when the viscount wakes up.

"Where am I?" asks the young man groggily.

Erik turns around to face him and has a bit of a smirk on his face. "You, my dear boy, are in the finest accomodations that one can afford for a prisoner such as yourself." He makes his way to the door again."Now if you would excuse me, I am about to make my way back to Christine."

"Christine?" repeats the viscount.

"Yes, Christine," replies Erik. He then stares at Raoul for awhile before adding with a hint of pleasure, "My wife."

The Vicomte's head jerks up at the word. "Wife?"

The Phantom rolls his eyes and smacks his head. "Yes, my wife!" He makes his way to the door once more. "I have no desire to spend the rest of my days explaining things to you while you just repeat them stupidly, so good day to you Monsieur." He waves mockingly at the prisoner before closing the door and leaving a confused Raoul to contemplate his fate in the dreary dungeon.

A few hours after the kiss on the forehead and mingling of the tears scene, Christine is sitting in submissive silence while Erik just stares at her in awe.

Erik eventually shuffles up to her slowly. "I have decided to let you go. You can be with that boy at the end of the week," announced the man with a hint of sorrow in his voice.

Christine looks up at him in suprise and gives him a small grin. "Thank you," whispers the girl. She gets up to walk to her room then turns around and hugs Erik awkwardly. This action further stuns Erik into a deeper silence. She blushes and goes to her room to start packing.

The next day Christine is sitting in the living room doing needle point ,and Erik is watching her again.

The soprano looks up from her needlework with a puzzled look on her face. "Erik, at first when you said that I could go at the end of the week, it filled me with a wondrous joy.But as I start to think about the fact that I will leave you, it saddens me." She looks down at the floor with a frown on her face. She lifts her head ,and the masked man sees that a tear is trickling down her cheek. "The more that this sadness fills me, the more that I feel the urge to spend every moment that I can with you."

"Well I can assure you that you are doing a fine job with that," reassures Erik with a smile. He is than thrown completely unawares when Christine jumps on top of him and pins him to the couch. "Wh..wh..what are you doing!" asks the astonished Phantom.

The young girl's once sorrowful expression has now turned to one of excitement. "I am spending my time getting closer to you!"

"Th..th..this is completely im..impulsive of y..y..you," stammers Erik nervously.

Christine rips off his mask and instead of cringing in horror like she used to, a lustful look comes into her eyes. "Why are you still yammering on?"

Erik just stares at her dumbfoundedly. "I...I...I...I.."

The singer silences him by kissing him on the mouth very forcibly.

The next day,Erik is in Raoul's cell because you have to feed your hostages.

"It was so peculiar," mused Erik aloud. "There she was crying one moment ,and the next she could not keep her hands off of me!" He starts to think about what he and Christine shared earlier. "Maybe when she is in a state of sadness, she wants to replace that sadness with human contact." Erik lapses into another state of meditation.

Raoul lifts his head up at his captor. "So the secret to being intimate with a woman is to make her sad first?" The young man suddenly bursts into a fit of laugher. "I guess you could pass that little secret on to that Persian friend of yours. I have seen how he stares at my sister. Maybe it would help that you will be ending my pathetic little existence so that he can be with Marie. All he would have to do is say, 'I am deeply sorry Mademoiselle, but your dear brother has now left this earth.' Then 'BAM!' she would be his." Raoul stops laughing and puts on a sad face. "Come to think of it, there is not much to getting my sister. Most of her suitors just say, 'Bonjour Mademoiselle-' ,and that usually gets the job done. Once, someone just had to say, 'Bon-' ,and that was enough." The Vicome shakes his head in a pitiful manner.

Erik stares at the young man and shakes his head in sympathy. He then realizes that he is sympathizing with his rival and shudders. "As interesting as this conversation is going, you are starting to depress me. So au revoir, dear Vicomte." With that, Erik leaves Raoul to think about his not so honorable sister.

He no sooner closes the door and locks it when he turns around and is suprised by Christine. "Did you follow me here?"

The singer nods in response to the question. "I just realized that this could be the last time that I hear you speak of Raoul condescendingly. It dawned upon me that I will actually miss that! I will of course miss you as well." She looks at him with a sadness in her eyes.

From the door they hear Raoul shout, "Well I will certainly not miss these wonderful accommodations and your mind tricks!"

Erik gestures at the door. "And that may be the last time that I will get to hear that boy complain about me."

Christine nods her head affirmitively. "Oui." She suddenly shoves him down on the floor ,and they proceed to make out on the cold cobblestones.

The next day Erik is yelling at Christine for insisting on looking at Don Juan.

Christine hangs her head in shame when Erik is done yelling at her.

The Phantom continues tostare at her inseriousness and then smiles mischievously. "Did it just occur to you that this may be the last time that I ever chastise you for trying to sneak a peek at my life's work?"

Christine lifts her head and gives him a suprised look. She then shakes her head negatively, throws off all the items that are on a nearby table ,and pounces on top of Erik and unto the table.

The next day Christine walks into Erik's music room as he is sitting by the organ.

Erik sees his bride from the corner of his eye and smiles to himself. He suddenly releases a pained sigh.

Christine turns to him and walks up to the Phantom with concern on her face. "What is wrong?"

Erik hangs his head. "Nothing important. Except that this may be the last time that you see me by my organ. Were you aware of the fact that I tune it all by myself?"

Christine's eye twitches ,and she shoves him against the organ as she kisses him profusely on the neck causing the organ to make not so melodious sounds.

The next day Christine is in her room when Erik comes in with a hairbrush in his hands.

Erik presents the hairbrush to the young girl. "Here is your brush." He looks at her with misted eyes. "This may be the last time that I bring you your hairbrush," points out the older man.

Christine takes the brush out of his hands and turns it over several times. She looks up at him with a smile on her face. "This is not my hairbrush, Erik."

Erik simply shrugs and says, "Then I guess it will be the last time that I bring you the wrong hairbrush."

The soprano laughs at the mistake before viciously throwing Erik on to the bed and making out with him.

It is now the end of the week. Erik is sadly bringing Raoul (who has been drugged yet again) out from the dungeons and to Christine.

Erik sets Raoul down on the couch and looks at Christine mournfully. "You do realize that this will be the final time that I ever bring you your lover back safely?"

Christine gives him a small smile. "Erik, this past week has been wonderful. I just want to thank you for comforting me." She places a hand on his shoulder and continues to smile at him. "There is one thing that I noticed though," comments the young girl. "While I did enjoy all the times that you comforted me in my sorrow," she smiles at the thought of those times,"there were times when you seemed to purposely depress me."

Erik looks around nervously trying to avoid her curious gaze. "That was because it was such a sad thing to think about! You sound very distressed right now,and I think I know how to get rid of that." He then shoves Raoul's body off the couch and gestures towards it.

Christine just stares at him in shock. "Are you saying that all of this 'last time' business has just been a ploy to get into my dress?" cries the dancer.

"You started it!" points out Erik.

The soprano just shakes her head at him. "You should have known better." She turns on her heel and goes into the opposite direction.Erik sinks on to the couch and starts to feel real depression when Christine reenters the room with a look of pure joy on her face. "That may be the final time that we argue over you trying to trick me!" She then pushes him down into the couch and starts the makeout session.

Three weeks later, after Christine and Raoul have left Erik's lair and are living a quiet existence together, Raoul is reading the Epoque aloud to Christine.

"Christine," begins the young man, "you should see this one obituary. It is so strange. It reads, 'Erik is dead...This may be the last time that you ever see this.' What a weird way to word an obituary." He looks up from the paper and is suprised by the sudden disappearance of Christine.
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A/N-Yeah, so I think that this is my shortest chapter yet ,but I just couldn't think of what to do for a second one. I hoped that I didn't make Christine seem too skanky. If I did, then well I am human ,and what do you expect?