A/N: I'm so sorry that I haven't updated in so long! It's because I've been busy in school. God, I hate school. Doesn't everyone? I guess I should stop complaining and just deal with it.

Anyways, back to the story. This chapter is really long, because I probably won't update for a while and I wanted to get far in the story. Yeah, I'm doing Speedy's POV again, well some of it is his POV, until his thoughts kind of...well just read and find out. Okay, this chapter is literally on the brink of becoming rated NC-17. Hopefully I don't get in trouble with the fanfic administrators.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans or DC comics.

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Chapter 2: Die Romantic

My hands tightly gripped the headboard.

"Just relax it." He whispered. I felt his hands gently straddle my hips. I was kneeling on the mattress, facing the wall. I took a deep breath and he pushed inside of me.

I screamed and felt the burning pain of my skin being stretched. He reassured me by sliding his fingers down to softly rub my erection.

He started kissing the back of my neck. Our breaths quickened with every thrust. He clenched onto my chest and I put my hand on the back of his head.

He moaned, and I felt him cum. It tingled, and the pain began to subside to pleasure.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE. I groaned and turned over.

My body shuddered and I shouted out his name. I climaxed and cummed on the pillow.

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.I swatted and unintentionally slapped my face.

"Damn mosquito." For once, I was having a great dream. Now it was ruined because of a stupid bug.

I turned to my clock on the nightstand. 1:37. Great, that's more than twelve hours of sleep. Even though I'm still tired, I might as well get up. God, I'm cold. My bed feels like no one even slept in it.

I slumped off the bed and staggered into the bathroom. I didn't bother looking at myself in the mirror. There's nothing I need to see.

I turn the hot water knob and wet my hands. I see steam rising out of the sink, but my hands just tingle while being scalded. I'm not feeling anything at all. It's like I'm not even alive anymore.

I shut off the hot water and rubbed my face. My mask was still on. I pulled it off, and doing so, I caught an accidental glimpse of my face in the mirror.

Oh God. Where to begin. My face was so oily, it looked like someone had smeared me with butter. There were zits all along my hairline. My hair was matted. And what's more, it looked like I had lost weight. People usually don't notice weight loss, but mine seemed drastic. My cheekbones were more defined and my arms had lost muscle. The most striking change was my complexion. I wasn't pale, but a soft yellow. Like I had some disease. My body continuously ached. Am I letting myself go? Why the hell am I so depressed?

What if...I killed myself?

Whoa, that thought was outta the blue.

What if I really did kill myself?

How would I do it? The classic gun-to-the-head? Or the cartoonish jumping-off-a-building? Nah, both of those take balls. Heroin maybe? Now that would be a sugarcoated way to die.

I think only real question that's stopping me is: Would anyone care if I died? If anyone did come to my funeral, what would they say?

Roy was such a good...archer?

Roy was such a Robin wannabe.

Roy was such a lazy, selfish dumbass.

Roy was such a pussy for taking the easy way out.

All of those are true. No one will bother to come to my funeral. No one cares. I've saved so many people, and none of them really give a shit about what happens to me, that there will another hero to take my place. I've been a hero for so long, and I still don't have any close friends. Whose supposed to help me, when I need someone to talk to. I only have myself to have conversations with. And I hate myself. Yeah, that's pretty lonely and pathetic.

My stomach growled loudly and it echoed through the bathroom.

Oh well, a last meal wouldn't hurt.

I put my mask back on and hastily dressed myself. Walking down the hall towards the kitchen, was like walking death row. I knew I was going to die, but the rest of the team didn't. I smiled just so they didn't get suspicious.

"You slept past noon again." Garth noted as he followed me into the kitchen. "Ya know, they say that over-sleeping is a sign of depression."

I gave him a look like what he said was foreign.

"Oh yeah, and whose 'they'?" I asked arrogantly while searching the fridge.

"Uh, I dunno. Scientists?" He had a mouthful of cereal while he spoke. "And because of your beauty sleep, I've had to force myself to eat cereal every morning. I miss your cooking."

That's right. I forgot that I can cook. Wow, I'm good at something practically every housewife can do.

I pulled out some bacon and a tomato. A BLT should be pretty good.

"Ugh. When's the last time you bathed?" He had a disgusted face.

I didn't feel like telling him that I hadn't showered in four days.

I had taught myself to block his telepathic power. That was good, because it made us equals in arguments.

"That reminds me, two days ago I told you to take the clothes out of the washer and put them in the dryer. Well, thanks for slacking off because now all of the clothes smell like mildew. And all of the clothes that were in the dryer are all wrinkled."

I'm slacking off? I really didn't have time for his nagging.

"And another thing, why haven't you been coming to training? You're losing muscle mass by being lazy. So sleeping for half the day and you're not training. Your room is a sty. You haven't showered. You should..."

He doesn't know the shit that I've been through. He doesn't know how hard I train, when he can just use his powers. He doesn't know the pain I've felt for three years. He doesn't know why I'm about to die.

"...really need to pull your head out of your ass and start being apart of the team."

He doesn't know how much I miss him.

Instantly, I spun around. My right fist like a flesh-colored blur flying towards his face. My knuckles broke his nose bridge. He didn't have time to react; I was too fast for him. Speedy. My left fist pounding in the same place. It was all in slow-motion. Bright, crimson blood staining my fingers and dripped down my arm to my elbow. I couldn't control myself, I wanted to kill him. I wanted to watch him die in pain. Slowly, while suffering.

Karen and the twins were in the kitchen by now. Jorge and Javier pulling me back. Karen was holding a paper towel to Garth's face, and she was staring at me. They all stared at me. They didn't look angry, but confused and appalled. And scared.

"S-speedy, what's wrong?" Karen stammered.

She called me Speedy. Not even my real name. Does she even know my real name? These people don't know me. I'm a stranger in my own home.

I pushed away Jorge and Javier then stormed to the front door. I grabbed my black hoodie from the coat rack.

Nobody was calling me back. They weren't stopping me from leaving. All this time I thought they were my friends. The truth hurts.

I slammed the door behind me and started running down the long driveway. Outside it was gray and dark, which was unusual since it was almost 3:00. We built a beltway from the Titans Tower to the shore of the city, because not everyone can get to a tower on an island. Good for me, because now I can get away from that place, without anyone knowing who I am or...what I'm about to do.

I speed-walked with my hands in my pockets. God, it was cold and windy. So windy, that it actually ruffled my greasy hair. So put my hood over my head.

The pavement was dotting with raindrops. The rainfall began pouring from the swirl of dark clouds. My clothes were drenched and sticking to my body.

I finally reached the city sidewalk, which was illuminated by streetlights. Steam rose out of the gutters. "No Vacancy" shone from neon lights in the windows of cheap motels. Dumpsters and stray cats littered the alleyways. Eyes without bodies followed me from the shadows. It might as well be a ghost town.

I stopped in front of a glass window to a restaurant. People with loved ones, stuffing their faces, and laughing at the same time. I felt like a dog left in the snow at Christmas.

A young couple was sharing dessert by the window I was staring through. The guy looked at me, pointed and laughed. So did the girl. He gave me the finger.

I should go in there and kick his ass for doing that. Does he know who I am? I've saved his life and practically the whole city's, and he goes and pulls that shit. What a prick.

I continued walking down the lonely sidewalk. A pretty girl was about ten feet in front of me. As we crossed paths, I decided to smile at her. She cowered in disgust and actually backed away.

So this is was it feels like to be an outsider. To be shunned and hated by everyone. God, it's not like I was going to rape that girl, all I did was give her a friendly smile. Girls can be so fucked up sometimes.

Ahead, I saw familiar neon signs for certain beer companies. That was the bar where I met Padrino. He was the one who gave me heroin. He was the only face I knew and I liked in Steel City.

I crossed the street and walked inside. I wasn't 21, but I wasn't looking for any alcohol. The bar smelled strongly of cigarettes. God, I needed that last cigarette. People were playing pool and watching wrestling on the TV. I searched the room for that familiar face.

Padrino was sitting at the bar, with his girlfriend-of-the-month standing next to him. He was surrounded by friends, all of them laughing and talking.

"Hey! Padrino!" I yelled across the loud room.

He turned on his bar stool and once he saw me, he beamed. "Pinche Verga, get your ass over here!"

I maneuvered past the pool tables towards him. He was in his late 20's, Puerto Rican, with tattoos on his arms, knuckles and back.

I walked up to him, about to greet him by smacking knuckles. But he grabbed my hand, and studied the dried blood caked on my knuckles. I didn't want to explain how it got there, and I guess he knew that because he didn't intrude.

"I kinda need some pow, but I need works." I told him. Translation: I need heroin, but I don't have any syringes.

He looked confused. I rubbed the blood off on my hoodie.

"I thought you quit." He said. I had a brief thought of Dick helping me kick the habit.

"Uh, I did, but..." I scratched the bottom of my chin.

"Oh, it's fine. But I don't have some with me. We'll go to my place. We're ready to leave anyway." He finished his Corona. I watched his fat girlfriend, who had too much makeup on, squeeze his arm.

"Your place? You better not get fresh with me." I teased. He eyed me.

"You fucker." He muttered. I couldn't help but smile. I'm surprised he didn't beat me for that.

I got in the backseat of his car, him in the driver's seat and his girlfriend in the passenger's. He didn't speak while driving, but 'Clarissa' kept kissing his neck and rubbing his chest. God, she was disgusting. I thought that he could definitely do better. She was so fat. It looked like a walrus was biting his neck. I was about to puke so I looked out the window. We were heading towards the west side of the city. The car stopped in front of a grimey apartment building.

We were walking up the stairwell.

Okay, this is it. I'll be dead within an hour. Gone. Forever. I try to imagine what it must be like to completely stop thinking. Is it like sleeping, knowing that you're never going to wake up? I'll never know what will happen tomorrow. I'll never know what it's like having a family of my own. Do I really want to go through with this?

We walked into Apartment 2B. It was dirty and I could hear a baby crying in the back room.

"Help yourself, man." Padrino had all of the 'equipment' on the coffee table in the front room. He pointed to it and then walked into the backroom; Clarissa followed him.

I sat on the loveseat sofa. It was covered in food crumbs and grease smudges. I stared at the heroin-filled balloons on the table. I opened one and poured some into a spoon. I filled a syringe with some water from a dish, then squirted it into the spoon. Next, I sparked the lighter and held the flame under the spoon. Soon, it dissolved. I pulled back the plunger of the syringe, letting it fill with a suicidal amount of the serum. I swabbed my arm and the needle with an alcohol. Then I held the tip of the needle to the crook of my arm.

Should I really do it? End it now? Would I regret right after I inject?

Why should I regret it? I haven't really accomplished anything that no one else has. And I probably never will. I haven't even passed my remedial classes to graduate high school, and I'm 19. I'm too stupid to go to college. Just like Ollie said, "You'll be flippin' burgers at McDonald's." Just like none of the Titans know my name. They've never asked because they don't care.

No one cares about you, Roy.

I stabbed the needle into my vein and pushed down the plunger.

Oh my God. I did it. I'm going to die in like five minutes. I won't live to see the future. I could've been more dedicated and graduated high school, maybe then college. I could've patched things up between me and Ollie. I could've had kids. I could've seen Dick again; maybe even tell him I love him. But it's too late. I've lost my last chance.

I felt the drug start to take effect. My muscles were relaxing; becoming heavy and tender. I tried to call for Padrino to come help me, but I was silent. My eyes quickly scanned the room. There was a phone on the wall across the room. I had to get that phone.

Come on! Get up!

My legs wouldn't move. I pushed off the armrest with my arms. I stumbled and landed on my side. I could hear my faint heartbeat fading away with every shallow breath.

This is it. The last ticking seconds of life I have left.

I wish I hadn't let Dick go. I should've not listened to Bruce or Ollie; I should have left with Dick. I should've not drifted apart from him. Why didn't I ever call? No one may care about me, but I care about someone. Is that a reason to live? Is it better to have loved, to have not loved at all? I wish I could hold him for one last time. I wish I could tell him I love him.

His smiling face fluttered through my head.

His warm body, when I hugged him in the meadow.

The pleasure we shared with each other.

GOD, SAVE ME PLEASE! PLEASE HELP! PLEASE! SAVE ME! I'LL MAKE THINGS BETTER! PLEASE! JUST SAVE ME! GOD, PLEASE!

I love you, Dick.

OoOoOoOoO

"Open up! This is a raid!"

Cyborg kicked down the door marked 2B. The Teen Titans stormed the entrance of the apartment; thinking this would be a usual drug bust.

A Hispanic male holding a 9mm, came out of the backroom; followed by a woman screaming at the sight on her living room floor. A red headed man lay face down.

"Put the gun down!" Cyborg ordered, holding up his sonic cannon. The was compliant and slowly laid the gun on the floor.

Robin bent down to the unconscious man, trying to roll him over. Raven summoned hand cuffs with her powers while Starfire and Beast Boy restrained the couple.

"Oh my God! Roy?" Robin shouted while checking to see if the man was breathing. Robin actually looked scared to find out that Roy wasn't. He put two fingers on Roy's jugular vein. 3 heartbeats per 5 seconds.

"Cy, go start the T-Car! Rae, help me lift Roy up! BB and Star, you stay until the police get here!" Robin yelled, trying to be louder than the crying baby.

The Titans, confused, looked at eachother, but decided to follow their leader's absurd orders.

Cyborg ran down the stairwell, while Raven telekineticly raised Roy and lifted him down the stairs.

"Hurry, we have to help him!" For once, Robin sounded desperate.

Raven gently laid Roy in the backseat of the T-Car. Robin and Raven then both climbed in.

Cyborg sped down the freeway, nervously gripping the steering wheel. Raven had one hand on Roy's forehead, the other on his chest. Robin cradled Roy's head in his lap, stroking his hair.

"Speed up, Vic, we need to get Roy to the infirmery. He needs Narcan!" Robin yelled to Cyborg.

Raven stared at Robin, looking very serious. "Richard, is this the 'Roy' you were telling me about?" She whispered. Dick closed his eyes, afraid to admit the answer.

"Yeah, it's him."