Interlude Two – Rock 'em, Sock 'em Ideologies

Young Koyomi Mizuhara was bright, confident and ready to take on the galaxy. As one of the top cadets of the Imperial Academy's small campus on Ordos, she was the first in her class to get a temporary posting as Third Lieutenant. She'd secretly hoped that it would be some assignment that would take proper advantage of her Valerian strength, but it seemed that the faculty had instead decided to take advantage of her intelligence, looks and natural eloquence by sending her with one of the Academy's many recruitment drives to disaffected worlds.

Getting up in front of auditoriums full of ear-picking, unmotivated college kids (at least, that's how they seemed to her after a few blistering years as a military cadet) and telling them about how the Imperial Academy had changed her life wasn't always particularly rewarding, but it was at least nice to imagine that her efforts might bring some disillusioned, meandering youth to what she had found.

Of course, some worlds and campuses were more difficult than others. Take, for example, the Livingston Space Academy on Atredes. This pastoral world was a center of art, learning, culture and industry, home to hordes of exactly the sort of intelligent, discerning young people that a discriminating Academy like hers was looking for. There was a bit of a hitch, however…

"Thank you, Mrs. Mizuhara," the professor said, not sounding thankful in the least. Yomi stood at the base of a lecture hall, surrounded by rank after rank of students staring murder at her. Lieutenant Ogawa, her constant companion and mentor on this harrowing assignment, stood in the back, leaning casually on the doorframe. The professor sat at his desk to her right, showing his restraint and civility by just staring assault-and-battery at her. "She will now take your questions," he added.

There was a long, awkward pause, but before Yomi could sigh in relief and call it a lecture, two or three hands rose. She picked out the one that had gone up most decisively and pointed. "Yes?"

"So, apart from the courses you mentioned," its owner, a young man with bleached-blond hair and an angry bearing, asked, "Does this Academy of yours also offer training in destroying civilizations and exterminating civilian populations?"

Yomi felt a flash of anger, but long practice didn't allow it to show. "That's… that's hardly a fair question," she replied. "And why in the Galaxy would you want learn to do things like that anyway?"

"Don't ask me, I'm not a tool of the Empire."

"No, you seem to have more in common with the local Rebels. Are you also interested in courses on blowing up dams and power plants?" she countered tartly.

"At least they're standing up to you."

"And they're doing it by standing on your neck. Or… wait, Livingston has its own generator, doesn't it? You've been mostly insulated from the rebels here. I imagine that's the reason you can support them." She was going to continue, but Ogawa cleared his throat, indicating that she'd gone too far. Without missing a beat, Yomi turned on her toes and pointed to another hand. "In the back?"

This was a thin woman with wide, light brown eyes. She hadn't been staring with hostility like her classmates, but rather with a fascination that bordered on the perverse. "Are you really a Valerian?"

Yomi's face twitched. "Yes. Yes, I am. Why would I lie about that?"

"You look too scrawny to be a Valerian."

"I'm smaller than most of my countrymen," Yomi agreed testily. "Is this germane?"

"Well, obviously I'm testing to see if we can trust you."

"You can trust me on that."

"Sure doesn't look like it. Can you sing the Valerian Planetary Anthem, then?"

"I can't sing very well, no."

"You don't look like a singer." Yomi found the condescending way she said that far more infuriating than she should have. "But how do we know you're a Valerian?"

"You can't take my word for it?"

"Of course not! Here--lift the professor's desk over your head. That should prove…"

"I will do no such thing!"

"Ooh, you sound mad. You gonna blast me now, Ms. Imperial?" A few of the students laughed. "Isn't that how it works with you people?"

"Of course not! Asking questions, even annoying ones, isn't a blasting offense."

"C'mon, give me your best shot!"

"For the last time, no!"

"Darn," the professor sighed, eliciting a few more laughs. "Almost got rid of you, Takino."

"Oh, well, better luck next time!" she said brightly, and threw herself down in the seat, hooking her scrawny legs over the row in front of her. "I'm sure one of the other speakers will shoot me!"

There was only one more hand in the air, so Yomi pointed to it and said a prayer in her heart. The student stood respectfully, a girl with thoughtful green eyes and short, sandy hair. "The Empire may well take good care of the people of this planet," she said, "And it may have done wonderful things for your people, but what about other worlds and other peoples? No matter how much it helps you, would you be justified in supporting an entity that would, say, brutally pacify neutral worlds or depopulate whole cities with nerve agents?"

"That is a good question!" Yomi congratulated. Actually, that question would have been irritating anywhere else, but at a school like Livingston she could only be relieved that the asker was being polite and reasonable. "Well, there are two answers. First, the Empire is such a vast institution that it probably means very different things to people on different worlds. Do the soldiers liberating Delgon have anything to do with a police action on Chandrilla?"

"I suppose not, but when you sign on, you have no say over where you are posted and no idea what you may be ordered to do, is that right?"

"That's right, but my other answer is this: the Empire does not stand for murdering and imprisoning innocent civilians or obliterating the infrastructures of civilized worlds. If I were ordered to take part in such missions, I would rebel myself. In the end, every officer who enlists is responsible for their own actions."

"Is that so?" Ogawa asked lightly, stepping off of the wall. Yomi jumped; when the audience was receptive he would sometimes step up to banter with her, but she wasn't expecting it here.

"Yes, sir!" Yomi said proudly. "I would never take part in such a heinous enterprise!"

"Really."

"It's a… a bit of a non-issue anyway, isn't it? We won't receive any orders like that, after all."

"Of course not. But you should be more careful in your speech."

"I will. So, we have time for one last question. Anyone? Yes?"

"I was just wondering…" a fellow with long brown hair suddenly laughed and lowered his head. "Never mind, I was going to be a dick and try to provoke you, but there's no reason to be mean to you personally, is there?"

"None whatever," Yomi agreed.

"Huh… well, sorry, whoever's question I wasted."


Atredes was just far enough from their campus on Ordos that the Holonet couldn't transmit a proper image, especially with the absurd amounts of encryption their Headmaster insisted on. Ogawa found himself sitting before a swirling blob of static, stance deferential in spite of the fact that his superior couldn't see it. "It turns out that you were absolutely correct, Headmaster. She is useless to us."

"You've seen the end of her loyalty, then? Surely not so soon!"

"I saw that her loyalty has no end… but it is to the ideal Empire that exists in her mind, not to the Empire as it truly exists. Likewise, she is loyal to the Ogawa she thinks she sees, not to the man I am. This delusion she reveres is incompatible with our objectives. Now, she could be fortunate and have a long, successful career in the Navy, or…"

"Or she could be unfortunate and executed for treason. Or worse, run afoul one of our special projects."

"Yes. I confess I had taken a bit of a shine to her…"

"That is a bad habit of yours."

"She could have been helpful to us. She's very sharp. Whether or not we choose to include her in our own concerns, she will be valuable to the Empire as an officer, assuming she does something about her ethics."

"That very intelligence makes her dangerous to us. I always found her activities in my Academy… suspect, and your experiment has done nothing to ease my mind. Ogawa, I need you to take one of our contractors and deal with her before you leave Atredes."

"We can't just forget about taking her in and let her go on her way?"

"You know that isn't the Ordos way. You should not have begun to induct her if you weren't sure of her heart. You have already given her weapons against us, hidden in your teachings, and she will uncover them if she is as brilliant as you say."

"We could send her to another Imperial Academy. I feel you are being paran… overly cautious, Headmaster."

"Paranoia is how we have survived these hundreds of years. Even Tanizaki's Empire, as despicable as we find it, would waste no time in crushing us if they discovered our activities, so even the smallest risk is completely unacceptable. It is as true now as it was under Emperor Isamu the Just. I command you to eliminate Koyomi Mizuhara."

"But—!" Ogawa started, but the connection had already been cut.


"What a lousy bunch of…!" Yomi growled, striding angrily down a back street. She wore a long gray jacket and nondescript clothes, but she was sure that the fine people of Atredes would be able to see her for an (almost) Imperial officer anyway. "Stupid, complacent… sitting all cozy and protected in their little campus while…"

The sky was a dusty orange-brown, glowing with the light of sunset (about ten hours earlier than Yomi's internal clock was comfortable with.) Hot, uneven wind whipped through the narrow streets, matching her mood perfectly. The streetlights were out; she hadn't been kidding about the power plant's destruction.

Hunger clawed at the insides of her belly, but she was too frustrated to eat at the moment. Ever since coming to Atredes, Yomi had had a harder time controlling her emotions for some reason. It probably had something to do with being shown the extent of the Rebels' depredations soon after landing; for all of her sneering at the Livingston students, she hadn't experienced very much in the way of terror and violence, either.

Thump.

Yomi stopped in her tracks, a horrible icy feeling prickling on her scalp and down her neck. It had just occurred to her that there were no pedestrians on the street around her. This was an ethnic neighborhood of some kind—the buildings were faceless stone, windows shuttered tightly against the wind and addresses labeled in a language she'd never seen before. Where was everyone? It wasn't that late, was it?

Thud. The pavement shook slightly under her feet.

"Who's there?" Yomi asked sharply.

Thud. Again, closer.

Yomi turned slowly, reaching for a sidearm that she wasn't carrying. Advancing down the street towards her was… was… what the heck was it? It was a grotesquely huge humanoid, even larger than a Valerian, hunched over and covered in shining ebon armor, the sinister red point of a cylon-style visor tracking back and forth across its kabuto-shaped face. With one more terrifying thud, it came to a stop before her and regarded her stonily.

"What… who are you?" Yomi asked, taking an unsteady step back.

"Don't you know who I am!?" Though it had been ponderous and robotic in its approach, it suddenly showed great animation, lurching back from her in shock and spreading its arms. "I'm the Sombra, bitch! Don't tell me you never heard of me!"

"I've never…" she backed up a little further, casting a nervous look about the empty street. Somewhere far behind her, she could hear sneakers beating the pavement, but she couldn't make herself turn away from this monster. "Is there, is there any particular reason you're walking up behind me on a mostly abandoned street?"

"I was planning to sneak up and decapitate you, but it turns out that weighing as much as I do doesn't help much with that."

"Decapitate-!?"

"I'm a bounty hunter." The Sombra leaned forward. "Are you sure you never…?"

"But what did I ever do?"

"No idea." A long, slender-barreled weapon unfolded from its right forearm and a blue laser sight appeared on her forehead. "But Ogawa always pays, so don't think I'll let you off."

"O-Ogawa!? Why would he--?"

"Hurts, don't it?" Perhaps out of a sense of irony, the sight fluttered down to her heart. "I guess they were gonna try and get you into that freaky society of theirs but changed their mind. I get a lot of jobs like that. Watching you organics suffer never gets old, so I always let you guys know you've been betrayed."

"I refuse to believe it!" The running footsteps were getting very close now… "An Imperial officer would never-!"

"You don't know much about the Empire, do you?"

"But a-!?"

"Time's up!" The blaster spoke, but Yomi only felt a jolt of adrenalin and something warm slamming across her torso. The pavement cracked angrily into the back of her head as she fell, bouncing once, to rest at the foot of an impotent streetlamp. She wasn't dead, though she seemed to be having trouble breathing. The wind wasn't knocked out of her; there was a weight resting on her chest…

"Damn," an aggravatingly familiar voice gritted. "That hurt."

"Hey!" Yomi cried, "You're that kid from Livingston!" She normally wouldn't have felt the need to verbalize, but she was understandably a little befuddled.

"Ow!" Her savior whined. "Quit moving, that hurt!" She was justified: a horrible, crispy wound stretched from her armpit all the way down to her hip.

"Sorry," Yomi jerked to her feet, easily lifting the smaller woman's weight. The Sombra had lowered his arm, cocking his head to one side. Apparently, he was having trouble processing this new development. "Oh, come on! That was a perfect shot! What good is all this computerized super-precision if you stupid people are just gonna go jumping in front of my shots anyway?"

"Stick it up your-!" Takino growled weakly, but her companion was already running.

"Why did you do that?" Yomi gasped out, straining her prodigiously muscled legs to put them around a bend just ahead of a flurry of angry blaster bolts. The Sombra thundered into action behind them, but, being so massive, it would take him a little while to get up to speed. Hopefully she could get a good enough lead to make it back to base—but wait, if it was really Ogawa had hired this thing, then would that really mean safety?

"Ungrateful wench… shoulda let you get blasted…"

"I'm just surprised! I--thank you!"

"Quit talking, stupid! You're run--ow! Ow!"

"Sorry!" Yomi rounded another bend and skidded to a halt with a horrified yell. "Another one!? The hell?"

As if the first wasn't enough, there was indeed another psychotic death machine clomping up to her. This one was just under two meters tall, an android of nondescript design painted dull black and carrying an oversized blaster in one of its wicked-looking grippers. Apart from the weapon, though, the only thing that set it apart from any one of the dozens of protocol droids you might see in a city this size was the hellish, baleful gleam of its tiny optics. Meeting those "eyes," Yomi knew that she was facing a being to whom her life meant nothing.

"Admonition: Keep your pants on. Statement: Though placing the barrel of my blaster against your meatbag skull and pulling the trigger would make my circuits glow with pleasure, my employer's orders on this matter were explicit. With great reluctance, I will ensure your safety for the duration of your stay on Atredes."

"Uh…" Yomi wavered. "What should I…?

"Dry Statement: Running would be a good start. Though your feeble organic legs cannot carry you very quickly, they should be more than sufficient to stay ahead of that lumbering moron. Addendum: If, for some inexplicable reason, you wish that unit to remain functioning, it would be in your best interests to see her to a meatbag repair facility. Hopeful Suggestion: Or I shall put her out of her misery?"

Yomi recoiled again, twisting to shield Takino from the droid. Her new friend didn't respond, and she already knew enough to take that as a very bad sign. "No, I think I'll get her to a hospital. Um, good luck."

"Prediction: Luck will not be a factor."

As she started off again, she heard the Sombra thump around a corner behind her. "Hey, this was supposed to be an easy job! What are you doing here!?"

"Assessment: I will likely not require my weapon to eliminate this inferior model." The newcomer tossed his blaster aside. "Estimate two-point-four seconds to target neutralization."

"Inferior model!? You're, like, five-thousand years old!"

The ancient robot didn't respond, instead unleashing his feared hand-to-hand technique. "Exclamation: Shoryuken, bitch!"

Whunk! Yomi had to slow down again as something whizzed over her head and clattered to the ground in front of her. It was the Sombra's head. "I'm gonna get you for ruining my shot, Takino!" the head snarled, "You hear me!? I'll hunt you to the ends of the galax-!" Yomi kicked it out of her path and kept running.

"Great…" Taknio mumbled, head lolling back and forth with Yomi's stride. "Now a giant killer robot's got it in for me. Thanks, lady."


"Hey, wake up!" Yomi was jolted out of her doze by a bony fist lightly striking her cheek. The hand took to her shoulder and started shaking her when she didn't immediately respond. "What gives? Where are we?"

"…uh?" When her bleary eyes finally opened, all Yomi could see was a horribly bright smear of pastel colors. She blinked rapidly and donned her glasses, absently warding her assailant off with one hand. "Wh- you're up?"

"What kind of a stupid question is that?" Takino snapped, arms akimbo. She sat up in her bed, pastel yellow blankets bunched over her lap and clashing gently with her robin's egg-colored hospital gown. "And where are my clothes?"

"I, um, I think they're in the closet, there. But you shouldn't move yet…"

"Bullsh-yearrrgh!" The patient fell back, clutching her side. "Why is that still there!?"

"Bacta shortage," Yomi explained.

"What?"

"The rebels took one of the major spaceports a week ago, so the Thyferrans haven't been sending as much."

"That sucks! Oww!"

"There's a pain medication on the table, there. Did you just wake up?"

"Yeah, I…" Takino suddenly jerked towards her in surprise, yelping explosively at her wound's protest. "What the hell are you still doing here? Dude, there's gotta be a dozen bounty hunters out to get you now! I know that big robot, my dad hired him once, and any bounty that would get his attention…!"

"It was an exclusive contract, so he was the only one. Listen, thanks for…"

"And why are you still here? What makes you think I want to see your homely face after I took a blaster bolt for you!? You already thanked me, so go the hell away!"

Yomi reminded herself that the other had reason to be upset. "I… I wanted to do more than thank you, actually…"

"Hold on there! I don't swing that way!"

"That's not what I…"

"And besides, I don't want an Imperial to owe me anything!"

"I resigned."

"Huh?"

"Actually," Yomi smiled slightly. "I'm deserting. I've already hacked my personal data so they'll have a harder time finding me."

"Whoa, now. You're a fugitive? That kinda sounds like fun."

"Well, here's your proof that I'm a Valerian—if you'll let me, I'm swearing a life-debt to you." Yomi watched Takino carefully. "You saved my life, and so I want to give it to you."

"A life-debt…" Something very close to malice shone in the young woman's eyes. "So you'd be, like, my slave?"

"Well, no. But… but I'd have to protect you… to the death."

"You sound scared."

"It is scary." Yomi squared her shoulders. "But… I've had years at the Academy to get used to the idea of dying for something, and it's my duty as a Valerian to repay you."

Takino laughed. "Couldn't you just treat me to dinner?"

"The thought crossed my mind, but I wouldn't feel like I'd done right by you."

"Look, lady," suddenly, the student's eyes were earnest. "You don't want to spend my whole life looking after me, even though it'd be pretty short. You don't know me. You'd be a cynical, ruined shell of a human being inside a week."

"I'll take my chances. My given name's Yomi, by the way."

"Mine's Tomo. Yo." She stuck out her hand, cringing. Yomi tried to take her hand gently, but she still squeaked in pain. "Oh, good one! Way to protect me, already!"

"Uh, sorry…"

"There." Tomo pointed at her, thin finger hovering an inch from the Valerian's nose. "Get used to lots of that. I'll bitch and moan and try to piss you off all day. It's just how I am."

"I'll survive."

"Okay, then, Ms. Suicidal Former Imperial Fake-Ass Valerian, I accept you as my minion!" Tomo gestured imperiously. "You can start by getting me some food, and not that tasteless crap they'll have in the cafeteria!"

Yomi sighed.


"This is the first time the Sombra has failed us. How did Mizuhara defeat him?"

"I have no idea," Ogawa replied, allowing himself to smile at the whirling static. "The Sombra won't say. I can only assume that somebody with a lot of firepower stepped in and dealt with him."

"I detect a slight note of irony in your voice."

"I apologize. It must be a bad transmission."

"I sincerely hope so, for your sake. Keep me informed." The Headmaster from Ordos winked out.

"Okay, sorry about that interruption," Ogawa said, turning in his chair. The ancient android stood before his desk, unarmed but still as dangerous as a platoon of stormtroopers. The officer placed a briefcase on the desk. "As promised, your pay."

The droid opened the case and played a scanner set into one of its fingers over the credit notes. "Statement: To my dismay, you have not cheated me, thereby giving me an excuse to splatter your meatbag chassis all over this office. Meaningless Courtesy: I look forward to taking your money in the future. Addendum: God help you if these bills aren't consecutive, meatbag."

"A pleasure doing business with you, too."


"Are you sure this will be okay with her?" Yomi asked, a tad nervous.

"Oh, sure!" Tomo chirped. "Don't worry about it!"

"Because I don't want to get the Thyferran Royal Family down on me, too…"

"Ah, she's just a Baroness." Tomo's hands flew over the vessel's controls with surprising skill. "And besides, she said I could take it for a spin sometime."

"Sometime when she was around, I assume," Yomi paced back and forth behind her. "Otherwise, you wouldn't have had to hotwire it. And didn't she already lend us a bunch of money to escape?"

"12,321 credits exactly. She, uh, likes palindromes." The Gray Spirit hummed beneath them. "When she finds out I was aiding and abetting a wanted fugitive, Ayumu will forgive me. Honestly! Why are you worrying so much? It's not like we're planning to disappear with her ship for five years, is it?"

"I've just… never stolen a ship like this, is all."

Tomo laughed long and hard at that. "Well, get used to it! How else do you think we're gonna make a living, Minion?"

"For the last time, I'm not-!" Yomi was thrown into her seat by acceleration as they blasted off. It hadn't been two days yet, and she already regretted tying her fate to that of this lunatic. All the same, though, there was a tiny part of her that wouldn't have had it any other way.