Because of You

Ed saw what love did to his mother. He watched her wither away until there was nothing but an empty shell and still the woman pined. He heard her crying at night when she thought he'd be asleep like Al. Between sobs there'd always be a word, sometimes breathed like a prayer and other times spat like a curse.Hohenheim. Always Hohenheim. Until the day she died of a broken heart, it was always him.

Ed vowed the day she died not only to take care of his brother, but also to never put himself in that situation. Al would be his only love, the only one he ever needed or trusted. He firmly believed this until he the day Mustang kissed him. The idea was skewed when their lips met. Cracked when Roy's arms skated around under his shirt. Shattered into a million pieces when those same hands worshipped him, over and over. Without the façade, the precious pretense he'd held up for so long, Ed was lost. He didn't know how to be in love. Love equated pain.

Ed wasn't surprised when it ended. Mustang had the reputation for one - night stands. Ed didn't expect to be more than a conquest. But sometimes, in the middle of the night when all he had were his own tears to occupy him, he'd wonder. Did Roy leave him because he wasn't good enough at loving him? Then Ed would push the thought away, scold himself for being like his mother and angrily wipe his tears away. He wouldn't be like her, he wouldn't pine. But in his sleep, dreams of dark eyes haunted him and he realized—he was like her. And he'd end up like her too; it was only a matter of time.