So a couple of people thought Carlisle's reaction to the situation - going to check on Rose - was a bit off, but I hope he redeems himself a bit in this section!
I'm really not happy with this chapter - where it's gone etc, but this is the best of three versions and each version was radically different.
Breaking Dawn, Chapter 7
The conversation had moved on in the seconds it took Carys to rip herself from her intrusive thoughts.
"I can talk to the wolves when I get back," Bella was saying. "They won't be happy but they'll listen to me, I think. Jacob will."
"You won't need to," Edward said, casting Jasper a glance over his shoulder, obviously unconvinced by her statement. Abruptly, he looked at Carys. "Leah's going to when she gets back."
"When she gets back from where?" Bella asked, giving Carys an assessing up-down.
"Gathering the dhampirs with Matteo," Carlisle said, returning to the room.
Reaching Carys, he said quietly, "Rose is alright," and kissed her forehead before she could make good on the need to tell him that she was a terrible person and she needed to leave before it all became too much. Which would only have compounded the feeling she had about herself.
Edward added interestedly, "Leah is something of a celebrity, as it happens."
"Leah?" Bella cried.
"Yes," said Carlisle distractedly, looking Carys over. "It will go better to hear it from her." He left it at that and lowered his voice, stroking her upper arms. "How are you feeling, my love?"
"I-" Cary broke off, unsure how to word her fears in the midst of seven vampires who would hear every word, and one human who might also find out.
She took a deep breath as a door opened and Rosalie re-entered the room, striding to her seat with aplomb, the only outward sign of her discombobulation being Emmett's tight hold on her hand.
Carlisle tilted his head to the side, studying Carys, who shook her head and couldn't quite meet his eye.
There was a moment of complete calm, then a war began as her fear collided and fought against Jasper's hold.
"Breathe," Carlisle soothed, lifting her hands to his chest and drawing her against him. "With me." His chest rose and fell with each slow, measured breath.
Far from buoying her, it set Carys' teeth on edge. Tugging one hand from his, she gripped the ends of her hair and tugged, infusing calm into her voice. "I'm okay," she whispered, slowly shaking her head. "Fine, I just..."
Carlisle's eyes melted. He lowered his face to her level and pressed his forehead against hers. "Sorry, love," he said lowly. "Are you telling me I'm the only one"-his gaze followed his fingers as he adjusted the curls by her temple, shifting them back before his penetrating gaze met hers-"freaking the fuck out?"
Carys slapped a hand to her mouth to muffle her uncontrollable reaction. "Don't. Please." Laughter didn't help.
He adjusted her in his arms, swaying her from side to side, turning them so that when she shrank against his chest, she was hidden from everyone else. "I'm not allowed to use slang - is that what you're telling me?" he cajoled.
She shook her head.
"No?"
"No," Carys gasped.
Carlisle rubbed at her back. "You're not alright, darling."
"I am," she protested, but their conversation had plunged the room into an almost deafening silence and it itched at Carys, causing her to pull away a little to rub at her arm.
She gave into the urge to scratch her jaw and cheek, willing the reaction to dissipate it before made its way to the top of her head. It didn't. Scratching a nail against a sliver of the right side of her head only made the left side itch, which caused both sides of her jaw to itch worse than before.
At the first crack of her knuckles, Carlisle looked over his shoulder. "Jasper?"
"I think I'm makin' it worse," said Jasper from the other side of the room. "She's fightin' it."
"No I'm not!" Carys said with agitated determination.
"I know," soothed Carlisle. He caught her hand when she scratched at the back of her head. "Is he helping or not?"
Carys shook her head.
Then Bella's voice registered, asking, "What's going on?" and Carys wanted to scream again. She wanted to curl her hands into fists - the pain in her palms told her that she'd done that already and she forced her fingers to straighten out.
"I think it's another panic attack," Rose said behind Carlisle.
"Another?"
Carlisle took a deep breath, looked over his shoulder and stared in the teen's direction. When he spoke, it was with uncharacteristic coolness. "Yes, Bella. Another one."
"Have you not noticed them?" Alice chimed in, her voice so high that it somehow grated against both Carys' skin and insides. "She's been having them since before she knew you. She had at least three in front of you."
"The first one I saw was the day you were almost killed at school," Rosalie added.
Carlisle returned his gaze to Carys, who said, "They've been worse since you got back from Volterra. Way worse since the battle, too." She was impressed she could get it all out. It wasn't that she couldn't breathe - perhaps it would be easier if she couldn't.
Part of her wished she came into these things bent over her knees, gripping at her thighs, hauling in broken gasps, because then Bella would have recognised it before now.
And if she reacted more openly, Carys could admit, through tears, that she didn't want them to have a hand in things, that she wanted this to be hers, that it was hers. That she wanted to be alone and that their thoughts and feelings were stabbing her somewhere in the vicinity of her heart, and she could shout at them to tell her, out loud, what they really wanted to say.
She wanted to leave the room but it would be too dramatic a reaction, she told herself. Don't cause a scene, don't cause a scene, don't cause a scene, don't cause a scene, don't cause a scene. Contain, contain, contain, contain, contain.
If her thoughts were whirling before, they were coming at her thick and fast now - a quickfire stream of unfiltered consciousness, whipping itself into a frenzy. Whipping her into a frenzy.
When it was just her and Carlisle, she could pretend the others didn't hear what was going on in their room. She could cry and shove at him all she needed to - if she needed to - when she was recovering from the battle because they left them to it and Carlisle understood. Carlisle wasn't hurt - not physically.
This was different. They could all see and hear this this time because they were right there, watching it happen. There were no walls between them, only one hard vampiric body. She was exposed. Out in the open. Laid bare to their scrutiny and abilities.
Her fingers twitched.
Jasper had yet to express an opinion. He'd given her no indication as to what his thoughts or feelings might be. Neither had Alice. When she really needed them to be vocal, they'd been silent, one of their expressions blank. Emmett hadn't really said much on the matter. Esme was controlling her sadness but overall happy for them. Rosalie was taking charge to feel better and that scared Carys - she might hurt her by wanting her to leave it all be, by wanting to take charge of everything, everything related to Dhamph. Edward was clearly not happy about it. Bella - who knew what Bella thought about it all, above her own situation. She would more than likely ask about when she was going to be changed.
Edward cleared his throat behind Carlisle.
They were waiting. All of them. Waiting to hear from Carlisle, from her, to have more information before they jumped to conclusions or formed an opinion. Of course, Rosalie and Esme had shared theirs, but the others were more reticent for now. And though she'd seen their initial reactions for herself, although she could see why they were holding themselves back, Carys, wanted to know exactly what each of the family truly thought, felt, would feel and think in the future.
Waiting set her even more on edge. Carlisle's touch and worried murmurings only quelled so much of the visceral reaction. He spoke to her, telling her it was okay, he was there, offering his cheek for kisses or his arms to hold her. Or space, if that was what she needed.
Hearing him talk helped but she didn't respond to anything he said. She couldn't. Her tongue was too thick to move.
Carys wanted this over. She wanted to leave. Most of all, she wanted her nerves to settle and for the prickling itch to leave. She wanted to return to the island with Carlisle like he promised, just the two of them, where she could pretend and lie to herself that this was all theirs and nothing else really mattered.
More than that, she wanted to scream at them that she didn't have time for their pretence, to hear their questions, to fill them in, to wait for their opinions. She wanted Leah and Matt and Carlisle, sitting on an island, laughing about something. Anything.
She wanted to be alone with Carlisle.
Where she didn't feel like this.
Where her mind could settle and make sense.
Where she wasn't being selfish and horrible and mean and-
"You're none of those things," Edward said, approaching them. She flinched when he came close enough and he took a large step back, out of her field of vision.
"I'm not scared," she murmured.
"I know," he said gently. Of course he did. Of course he did. He sounded as if he was smiling when he said, "I do."
"It's just you," she said, curling into Carlisle. "Your gaze," she added when he scoffed out a laugh and Emmett boomed. She blew out a deep breath. His gaze wasn't just physical, it was mental - just like Alice and Jasper's were physical. Usually they all got to her, but this time Alice couldn't see.
"What do you need?" Carlisle asked, continuing the slow, side to side rocking.
Each breath became carefully controlled for Carys, pushing air past the vice across her lungs. Her left arm began to burn anew and she could swear the claws were ripping her all over again. Heat burst over her skin, radiating through her chest. The itching reached a crescendo and there wasn't enough air; the room was cloying, stifling, too small, making her clothes rub painfully against her oversensitive skin. Carlisle's hold stopped helping, it became just as imprisoning as everything else.
From the outside, she likely looked normal - that gave her some solace - that it was all inside.
Someone was speaking but she couldn't make out the words over the buzzing in her ears.
Like a shot, everything but the itching was gone, and she felt Jasper's gaze on her like a brand, his hand on her wrist, his fingers cool against her skin. Carlisle's lips were pressed to her temple.
Now she wanted to run away for a different reason. "This isn't how this was supposed to go."
"No," Carlisle agreed calmly, stroking her hair. "That doesn't mean there's anything wrong with your reaction."
"Save your white lies," she muttered.
"Not a lie in sight, my love. If you want to leave, we can?"
Carys shook her head for what felt like the thousandth time that day.
"Are you feeling nauseous?"
Again, she shook her head. "Not this time. It's getting better."
"Better?" Carlisle chuckled. "If this is better, I think I preferred it worse. Vomit, I can deal with."
Carys chuckled along with him, knowing what he was trying to do. Distract her from the fact that she'd just embarrassed herself in front of everyone - right before they asked them about what they thought of them becoming parents. Leaning back against his arms, she straightened. Her focus was on him, but there was no ignoring the people sitting or standing in the room behind him, or the scarred hand wrapped around her wrist.
"We need opinions," she said.
Carlisle raised an eyebrow and narrowed his eyes. "No we don't," he reminded her.
"What?"
"We're informing, not asking," he said slowly.
"Well, I... I need opinions now. They're not going to change my mind," she added quickly. "Only, I need to know what they're thinking and feeling about it. What comes next... What they'll think when the dust has settled."
"Er, Care?" Jasper said from his position at her shoulder. "We're here."
"I know," she said to him without turning her head.
"No," he said. "I mean, we're here. Fer you. You an' Carl-isle. So long as this dhampir ain't gonna harm you."
Edward sighed. "He's just trying to get into your good books."
"He's at far more risk of succeeding than you are at the moment," Carys said bitterly and felt a rush of calm soften her before she continued her thought. "I don't care why it is. I just need to know what it is. Don't ask me why..."
Holding Carys tight to him, Carlisle brought them around so that he faced the room at large. The move dislodged Jasper from Carys but she didn't seem to mind. Nor did she seem to mind being in view. The effects of her inward spiral had been taken care of and Jasper hovered, ready to infuse her again if needed. She expected he was still working on her, if her relaxation was anything to go by.
"It is not going to harm Carys," Carlisle said, clarifying a moment later, "Not to the point of death."
"I'll need to be changed right after it comes out," Carys told them, giving in to a sudden urge to diffuse any tension left over from her embarrassing reaction. "It's like in Alien when it rips its way ou-"
"No it's not!" Carlisle held a single finger aloft. "It is not - and neither is it a joking matter. There are safe ways to remove it-"
Carys mimed little snapping teeth. "It pinches the womb and then nibbles its-"
"Jasper, what exactly did you give Carys?" Carlisle sighed heavily.
"Sorry," she said ingenuously.
"Hmm." He pressed his lips to her forehead and then raised his head. "Carys would like to hear opinions. Therefore, now is your chance to let your thoughts be known." He waited a moment and his voice hardened a little. "In the interest of transparency, I will make myself clear. You may be honest, but as we've said, this will make no difference to the outcome." He held up a hand, tipping his head. "I misspoke."
Pressing his lips together, he met Edward's gaze head on. "You may disagree with our decision. You may disagree with gaining another sibling - as some of you have in the past. That being said, I will not stand for any one of you hurting or upsetting Carys with what you have to say. You will not upset her again for the duration of this pregnancy. After that, Carys will be able to manage you herself - but until that day comes..." A muscle twitched in his jaw. "If you want or need to leave, I understand. Please do so. Know that when you return, I will welcome you with open arms. We both will. For now, hear me when I say: you will not put yourself above my wife. This is not a democracy. After the events of this year, we know the truth of that. Do I make myself clear?"
Pregnant-mate Carlisle was a sight to behold. Carys wasn't sure how Jasper took the swift onslaught of lust she felt in that moment but, to his credit, he said nothing on the matter. No one said anything, in fact, for long moments. They blinked, stared, gaped at Carlisle until he repeated through gritted teeth:
"Do. I. Make. Myself. Clear?"
"Abundantly," Esme said, snapping to attention, her lips quirked.
"Good." His jaw relaxed, his face returning to the passive calm expression they knew so well. And with a deceptively sweet smile, he asked, "Now who's first?"
"I'll go," announced Emmett. He shrugged nonchalantly. "I think it'll be nice to have a little one around. Haven't had one in the house since I was human. Plus, this one sounds like it'll be fun. Not as fragile as humans."
"You already know my opinion," said Rosalie, adjusting her eyelashes with one red nail.
Esme said, "And mine."
"I don't like it," Alice admitted. "I can't tell what will happen. I can see past it." She pouted, fiddling with the hem of her shorts. "You said I don't have to like it."
"No," Carlisle agreed. "Will you stay?"
Alice blinked owlishly. "Will I-of course I'll stay! What a silly question! Someone has to keep an eye out for what happens next."
"Thank you," Carys whispered.
Alice nodded.
"Edward?"
Edward's jaw was tight, his eyes flinty, shining with venom. All of a sudden, his shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry," he said defeatedly. "I'm sorry for making you think that I might..." His head slowly lifted. "I need to protect Bella." Taking her hand, he squeezed it. "We will return to Forks, but not because I'm turning my back on you, Carlisle."
"Then why?" Carys asked, answering her own question a moment later. "Charlie."
Edward nodded.
Bella protested, "Charlie can-"
"No, he cannot," Edward said, interrupting her. "Bella, you only have so long with him. Your time is precious."
"But we're leaving soon anyway."
"Soon. Not right now."
"Why not now?" she asked, looking around the room and tucking her hair behind her ear. "We could get married down here and you could change me - newborns are difficult to control, wouldn't it make more sense to stagger it? Charlie won't-"
"Enough, Bella," Carlisle said. "You and Edward can discuss these details at another time."
"This isn't about us," Edward said to Bella. "Not anymore."
"I know that," she said. "But surely-"
"Now is not the moment."
"But-"
"Bella. Please. Stop."
Bella pulled the sleeves of her cardigan down over her hands. Carys almost cheered and, judging by the exasperated glance he sent her, Edward heard exactly what she was thinking.
"We do need to know more about it all," Esme said softly, shifting to the edge of her seat. "We're saying all of this now, but we really don't have much information to go on."
"One last thing before we get to the details," Carlisle said with a smile for the caramel-haired vampire. He squeezed Carys and looked to Esme's right. "Rose, it was lovely of you to offer to take care of Carys and Dhamph's-"
"Terrible name," Alice murmured.
He continued on as if he hadn't been interrupted. "-needs, but we would like to take care of the specifics ourselves - as much as we can. It would be helpful of you to compile the list for us to look into, but being on the island, I will need someone to help with the medical side of things... Any thoughts as to where I could find someone with upwards of three medical degrees and a vested interest in the patient?"
Rosalie adjusted her hair. For long moments, she kept the room in thrall, a pained expression on her flawless face. "I can think of one," she said finally. "I'm not sure if she'd be open to coming out of retirement but I suppose I can ask." Her face cleared. "She's in. Payment can come in the form of baby snuggles when the time comes."
"Does this mean I'm not a horrible person for wanting to have control of that stuff?" Carys asked weakly. Eight pairs of eyes turned on her. "Or am I?"
"Of course you're not," Carlisle said. He rubbed at her back again.
Crossing one leg over the other, Rosalie took one of Emmett's hands in both of hers and added, "I do hope you know that this will be the most spoiled baby on the planet?"
"We do," Carys said.
To which Rosalie smiled and replied, "I imagine you haven't put much thought into godparents? I can make a list for that, too."
"Let me guess," Esme said, smiling dryly. "The name Hale will feature prominently."
A/N: Bella did have a bit of a point, but she had the wrong timing. And yeah, I'm not happy with the way this went but you know, we can't win them all. P.s. who else is thinking that Rosalie totally thought it through and realised how much time she'd get with Dhamph "when the time comes"?
P.S.: there won't be a Renesmee in this!
Thank you to: BMBMDooDooDoo-Doo-Doo, Guest (thank you! I agree - I don't like how pregnant women are written in a lot of fanfics - or Bella in the books either, to be honest! If they want the child or if they want to abort, they all follow archetypes which don't ring true when you try to put yourself in the situation to see how you would react. The character changes in many instances as well. It might be how some people are, but I doubt it's what most are like. It's a very personal thing! Most people aren't holier than thou like they're portrayed as soon as they're pregnant. I hope you liked how Carlisle did things...), Momochan77, inkyvlaudy, Rosiekay, All My Love. M, and Shakilove for your reviews!
