He smiles as he sees her standing in front of the stove, dressed in nothing but the henley he was wearing yesterday. There's some feeling of déjà vu but he shrugs it off, telling himself that this is a new sight. It's a scene that is soon seared into his brain like a fresh brand. And even though it's their first morning after finally getting together, he already knows he'll never grow tired of seeing her like this. She appears so at ease, the tension in her shoulders and the all around rigidness in her posture brought to her by a rough case is now gone. He remains quiet as he continues to take her in as he walks up behind her. His arms come to wrap around her waist and his lips stretch wider, his smile growing as one of her arms lay over his. But it's brief and the moment is fleeting as she disengages from his embrace. She doesn't say anything as she moves away, almost acting as if he isn't there - like he's invisible. He finds himself searching around for an answer as to why she would just walk away - waiting to see if some kind of clue will pop out at him, while she leaves the room without looking back. His eyes fall to the stove and observe the pots and pans set atop each of the burners. He takes in how there's nothing cooking in any of them but he still twists the knobs to turn the stove off. His concern festers into something more as he looks over in the direction she went in before deciding to go after her. The hallway seems longer than it was before - suddenly a mile long versus a mere twenty feet. It's quiet, the kind of quiet that makes you feel uneasy and he certainly feels that set deep into his bones causing him to shiver. But then there's a steady, eerie beeping coming from the distance, ebbing away the silence and echoing off the walls. He looks around again to try and find the source of the noise as he continues on his path. Then he's there, standing in front of her bedroom door. Taking a deep breath he turns the doorknob and pushes the wood slab open. But instead of finding Erin in her bedroom he finds a blank space - nothing but darkness. He tries the light switch in a futile attempt to find her - to see her but it doesn't do anything. Everything else - the rest of her apartment quickly fades away until he's surrounded by nothing but black space and the incessant beeping. His heart pounds in his chest as he begins calling out her name. But there's no answer and the beeping only grows louder.

Antonio jumps up from the chair he's been sitting in when he sees Jay begin to thrash in the bed. His arms appear to move independently from his body as they attempt to flail even with his wrists being restrained to the railing. Jay having done this earlier resulted in the IV in his hand being ripped out. The only thing different about this time is that he's repeating Erin over and over. And Antonio finds himself wishing once again that she had let him go to the ranch instead of her.

"Jay." He says sternly as he shakes the younger man's shoulder. But it doesn't do anything as Jay just continues to move frantically in his sleep.

"Hey, Jay wake up." He tries again but still no response. Then just as suddenly as the fit started, it stops and Jay stills once again. Antonio debates with himself on whether he should go get a doctor or nurse but decides against it when his friend's breathing evens out and the monitors return to their normal steady beats.

He sits back down and texts Erin to see how far she is but she doesn't reply and he figures that if she's still at the ranch - at Jay's cabin that she wouldn't have the best reception. So he lets his phone fall to his lap and hopes that she gets back before Jay has another episode.


The image of the middle aged doctor walking over to her and Antonio in that waiting room is like a recurring nightmare as she travels by horseback up to the refurbished barn. The words of the doctor calmed her nerves a little in that moment and she reminds herself that the neck of the broken beer bottle didn't hit any vital organs or arteries. Jay is going to be just fine but she still feels the fear of losing him ruminating within. Even seeing him didn't help with that terrifying thought, in fact it only caused her to break down. Sobs wracked her body when she saw him lying on that hospital bed. The steady beeping of the heart monitor should have eased her worries but instead it made her feel guilty - like a stone net had been cast on her heart causing it to sink to her stomach. It's why, with a gentle, lingering kiss to his forehead she volunteered to come to the ranch. She figured his animals needed to be cared for and that he'd need a change of clothes for when he's released, which is supposed to be in the next few hours. She also felt like the journey - the fresh air and serene soundtrack of the beautiful Montana wilderness would help clear her mind. Except it hasn't - it's only made her weighted heart heavier because it all reminds her of him. She tries to shake it off so she can focus on the tasks she came here to do as Zane takes the last few strides to the cabin. Her heart pounds as she jumps down and ties Zane's lead to the small, bare tree just in front of them. Then she moves towards the small barn and checks on the horses and dogs. A small smile comes to her face when she sees the puppy she had bonded with over the week that she was here, run over to her.

"Hi Poppy" She whispers, her voice being a little more coarse than normal as she bends over to pet the excited young dog and then the two older dogs as they too, walk over to where she's standing.

She lets the dogs outside and then moves to do the same for the two horses. Leading both of the large animals to the corral just to the side of the stables. Once the animals are set she goes into the cabin to get some clothes for Jay. Again her heart thumps and throbs as memories of the last day she was here replay in her head - slapping her in the face the second she walks through the door. It takes her a few minutes to conjure up the strength to move past the entryway and go up to the loft.

It's feels like she's pulling something behind her. The muscles in her legs starting to ache - a result of her literally dragging her feet as she trudges up the stairs. And when she gets to his room, she takes a moment to reset - pushing down her feelings to focus on Jay.

The first thing she grabs when she snaps out of her daze is a bag and then she starts to fill it up with different articles of clothing but stills once again when she comes across a familiar henley. A sad smile comes to her face seeing the burn mark on the wrist of the left sleeve - remembering the morning after their first night together. She sits on the edge of the bed as the distant memory comes back to her. The shirt gets brought closer to her face and the smell of his cologne wafts her nostrils. Tears begin to trail down her cheeks as she thinks back to that morning. This henley - his shirt was pulled over her head and carelessly tossed over her shoulder - the sleeve falling on the burner of the glass stove top that they thought had been turned off.

She recalls vividly how she woke up before him - probably a fact that sticks out to her because it was one of the only times where he slept past five in the morning and she hadn't. And again a somber smile comes to her face as she lets the memory take over her thoughts.

His arms are wrapped loosely around her waist and she cherishes the feeling for a few minutes before she gracefully pulls away and out of his embrace. The shirt he was wearing last night is the only piece of clothing within reach for her to cover up with. So she grabs it - letting the large henley fall over her as she leaves the bed to go make breakfast.

She isn't in the kitchen long before she feels his arms wrap around her from behind, much like when she left the bed. The way his smiling lips feel against her neck set a pleasurable fire to her skin and it causes a mischievous grin to tug at her own lips. Her head tilts to the side and her free hand is placed over his arms. She closes her eyes and blindly reaches for the knobs that control the heat of the burners. Then she turns around to face him - neither them uttering a word as they lean in for their first good morning kiss that grows into something more. And soon the shirt she's wearing gets discarded from her body. Their hands roam over each other's forms in a hurried way that sharply contrasts their slow moves from last night.

He only stops when he hears the song on the radio. One arm stays around her waist as the other reaches to turn up the volume. His smile lights up the room as the song bellows through the speakers. Then he leans back in to press a kiss to her forehead and then her lips as he hums along with the lyrics.

Her fingers trace the dark splotch as she remembers how he quickly pulled her nude form into him even more, turning her to the side and pulling away from her kisses when he realized that there was something burning.

Her head falls into the fabric clutched in her hands - her tears turning the light grey fabric into a darker shade as she wishes they could both go back to that point in time. She would even settle for just talking to him and that thought gets her back on track somewhat. It pushes her to pull herself together enough to finish packing and she continues to gather clothes until there's no room left in the pannier. Then she goes back outside to get the animals ready for their temporary return to the ranch.

The treck back down feels both longer and shorter than the trip up. She looks down at the puppy lying on the seat rise of her saddle and chuckles at how the young dog has contorted herself in a way that doesn't look anywhere near comfortable. She shakes her head and looks up again. The animals are taken down to the main barn and she gets them set up before going to talk to Mouse and Kevin. They already know what's going on, so they agree to watch over the animals until Jay gets back without hesitation. And it warms her heart knowing that the two men in front of her are good friends with Jay and they'd selflessly take on more chores to give him time to heal.

"Erin will you let us know if either of you need anything?" Mouse asks just as she was about to exit the new stables.

"Thanks Greg." She nods before continuing outside. The thought of going back inside or maybe even hightailing it to the truck crosses her mind when she sees her dad walk out of his house. His cold stare locks on her right away and she figures she should probably tell him what's going on too. But she can't move from her spot, feeling conflicted on what she should do or say.

"Shouldn't you be back in Chicago by now?" His gruff voice is just a tad lighter and softer than usual but she's not sure why - especially since the first words he says to her after everything is that she shouldn't be here. Because she knows that's what he meant with those eight words.

"I had some things I wanted to figure out and wrap up here." She shrugs, her voice anything but apologetic.

"And what are you doing back on my ranch?" He asks next and she sighs, knowing that she needs to get back before Jay is released from the hospital.

"I umm..." She pinches the bridge of her nose. "Jay got hurt and had to be taken to the hospital. Once I heard that he was ok and saw him, I knew his animals would need to be taken care of and that he'd need a change of clothes." She replies as she lifts the bag slug over her shoulder for emphasis. Her dad just nods but she can see his hardened expression soften ever-so-slightly.

"I'm sorry to hear that." He says and she rolls her eyes at the insincerity behind his words. She doesn't understand how he could be so callous towards Jay of all people - the man that's given up and lost so much. The person that's been this ranch's best wrangler for years.

She's still lost in her thoughts when her dad adds in. "But this isn't a boarding facility Erin, his animals aren't mine or my wrangler's problem."

All Erin can seem to do is chuckle at that and it causes Hank to narrow his eyes at her.

"You're kidding, right?" She asks but she doesn't give the old, stubborn man a chance to answer.

"I thought this would be the least you could do for him. House his five animals out of the kindness of your heart." She pauses and takes a few deep breaths before continuing. "But I guess that would require you to actually have a heart." She combs her fingers through her hair - feeling seconds away from pulling every single strand from her scalp. And she sighs as starts to rethink everything. Then she's turning towards the truck with Poppy in tow. Once she opens the driver's side door she throws the pannier onto the passenger seat and lifts the puppy in too before looking back.

"Just give me a few hours to think of where to take them." She tells her dad and then she hops into the truck and drives away - only stopping once she's off the ranch.

She texts Antonio, letting him know that she's heading back now and that she just has to drop Poppy off by Nadia's place on the way. The phone is tossed into one of the cup holders and she takes a few deep breaths before pulling back out onto the road.


The thought of seeing Jay - possibly awake - was almost calming as she walked back through the hall that lead towards his room. But that notion - just like before vanishes rather quickly when she sees him still unconscious on the bed. The only difference is this time she doesn't feel as guilty - instead her blood boils seeing that he's restrained to the bed.

"Why is he handcuffed?" She becomes defensive as soon as she enters the room and Antonio looks at her a little shocked.

"Good to see you too Erin." Antonio chuckles lightly at the protective tone in her voice - in her stance as she stops at the foot of the bed.

She raises an eyebrow at him as she waits for an answer.

He sighs as he looks over at Jay - wishing that he would wake up at that moment to distract Erin from glaring at him.

"He started thrashing around in his sleep not long after you left. The nurses thought that he was having a bad reaction to one of the drugs they'd administered. He was flailing around so much he ripped out his IV and then he calmed after a few moments. The doctor found everything to be normal and said that it was likely just a bad dream. So they tried the restraints to prevent him from pulling the IV out again but he broke the hospital restraints so I had to handcuff him." Antonio explains and she nods as she runs her thumb over the skin of Jay's right wrist seeing where the metal of the cuffs bruised his pale, freckled skin.

"How many times did that happen?" She asks next and Antonio tells her that there were three episodes in the time she was away.

He doesn't miss how she sighs again and her whole face falls - both the hopeful and stern guises that had graced her face within the last few minutes give way to an expression of pure worry.

His hand reaches into the right pocket of his jeans and pulls out his keys. He removes the handcuffs slowly, almost cautiously as if he's afraid it'll wake up his friend or cause him to have another bad fit.

The sight of her shoulders dropping slightly in relief lets him know he made the right decision. He pockets the keys and the cuffs as his gaze also falls to his friend laid up in the bed.

"He's going to be ok Erin." He tells her, hoping it'll help hearing it again. She nods but doesn't say anything.

"The doctor said he should be waking up soon." He adds but still no verbal response from her.

Her eyes still stay trained on Jay - watching his chest rise and fall. She focuses on his breathing and tries to match the even, calm inhale and exhale - repeats that.

"How was the trip to the ranch?" Antonio asks next - wondering if something happened there or if it's just Jay's situation that has her so down.

"The ride up was fine but when I brought the animals down to the main barn my dad told me that they can't stay there. So now I have to find somewhere to take them until Jay gets back on his feet and can make the trip back up to his cabin. He doesn't deserve the way he's been and still is being treated. The only reason my dad is being an ass towards Jay is because of me. And I know it's a selfish thought but I can't help feeling it." She sounds exasperated - like she explained all of that with one breath.

"I think you need to cut yourself some slack Erin. You just went halfway up and then back down a mountain to help him." He gestures towards Jay to clarify who he's referring to.

"That doesn't sound very selfish to me." He places a hand on her shoulder, giving the tense muscle a gentle squeeze and she nods.

"I have to go call Laura but I'll be back." He tells her and she gives him a half nod.

"When he wakes up you guys should talk." And it's those words that get her attention - her gaze lifting from the man lying in the bed to the guy standing beside her.

"What about?" She realizes it was a stupid inquiry the second the words fall from her lips but she is curious to know what Jay told their old friend.

"Whatever it is that happened between you two." He shrugs and she nods again as she looks back down at Jay.

"I just want him to get better Antonio."

"And you don't think talking things out will help him do that? You think he went out drinking and got into a bar brawl for the hell of it - that he wasn't just trying to forget for a little bit that he screwed things up with you?"

"No - I don't know." She responds, clearly flustered.

Antonio chuckles at that. "He didn't say much of anything, so I don't know what happened with you two nor do I need to know. But I will tell you that the second and third time he was having those nightmares, he was calling out for you."

Her mouth opens and closes as she tries to think of something to say. Antonio sees her struggling to form the right words so he stops her by shaking his head.

"Just talk to him." He tells her as he moves towards the door and then out of the room.

The cushioned chair next to the bed gets pulled closer to Jay's sleeping form. She gingerly takes his right hand in hers and brings it up to her mouth to press a kiss to his bruised knuckles. Her eyes closes and the tears that were threatening to fall, cascade down her cheeks and she's sure her lips are turning white with how much pressure she's putting into the kiss.

After a few minutes the muscles and tendons in his hand move and flex beneath her lips causing her eyes to shoot open. It was so light that she thinks she may be imagining it. But she keeps his hand close as she brings her other hand to lift up his forearm - holding his hand straight up to see if it'll happen again. Her heart skips a beat when she sees his long eyelashes flutter against his freckled cheeks. And she sniffles and then holds her breath as his eyebrows furrow. But then everything stops - the subtle movements - any and all indications that he was waking up stop.

She sighs as she lets their joined hands rest on the bed and her head falls so her gaze is cast down. Her hope and idea of seeing him awake is is manifesting into something and playing tricks on her. So she takes a few moments to reign in her emotions. Then she decides to takes Antonio's advise and talk to him - even though Jay's still unconscious she figures it may help her talk when he does actually wake up. With her eyes moving from her lap to his hand grasped in hers she begins with how she found the burned henley when she was packing for him.

The words themselves seem a little muffled as they reach his ears and he tries to focus on what's being said. Then he realizes that the voice he's hearing is coming from her. It's raspy but smooth as she talks to him about the memory she recalled when she was at his cabin. Her voice both keeps him just within a state of sleep and pulls him from his slumber.

"And when that memory ended, I found myself wondering how we got here. I don't think we've ever gone this long without talking in some way." She continues and he thinks he nods his head or at least he tries to but he feels weak - maybe a little drunk still and he can't be sure if he could even do something as simple as nodding. His eyes remain closed for a few more seconds until the next words fall from her lips - a mere utterance in a room where the only other noise is coming from the monitors he's hooked up to.

"I miss you." She repeats with a sniffle. "I know it's only been a few weeks but I really miss you. Both as my best friend and as something more. But I'll leave you alone if that's what you still want. I'd take us not talking over this - over you being here."

"I don't want that." He struggles to say those four words - his throat is dry and his voice is rough.

Her head snaps up at that and when she finds his eyes still closed, she thinks that her mind is messing with her again. She doesn't believe that he just said what she thought he did but she continues to watch his face closely.

"And now I'm hearing things." She mutters in a way that tells him she's annoyed with herself.

He has to really concentrate to open his eyes and it takes longer than he would have liked before he manages to blink a couple times and his heavy lids lift up. When his blue-green orbs land on her, he can see it literally take her breath away. Her chest shakes as she tries to inhale but it takes her a moment.

"Jay?" She questions, trying to decipher whether he's really awake or not.

"Hey." His lips curl up ever-so-slightly with the greeting.

Her knees get pressed up against the side of the bed as she moves in closer to him. She takes in his face much like she has since she got back to the hospital. It's almost as if she can't exhale until she sees his eye lashes flutter again then she feels the figurative weight being lifted off her chest.

"Hey." She says back with a smile of her own dancing on her lips as she stands up and presses a kiss to his forehead.

Once she pulls away from him, she grabs the styrofoam cup on the table next to the bed and brings the straw to his lips. He lets the warm water soothe his throat before he attempts to talk again.

"I miss you too." He sees her eyes widen in shock and she almost misses the table as she places the cup back down.

"And I don't want to go back to not talking to you." He admits next and she nods - sensing he has more to say.

"But I also don't think I can forgive you - at least not right now." His voice is more harsh with those words and she feels her heart sink for the umpteenth time today.

She shrugs her shoulders and tries to shake off the feeling of disappointment because she gets where he's coming from - at least that's what she tells herself. But truthfully she doesn't understand and she doesn't have a reply for that. So she takes a few steps away from the bed - breaking the physical contact that they had as she lets his hand go.

"I'm just going to get the doctor." She announces before she scurries towards the door.

The brief conversation - the words exchanged between them get repeated in her head as she wanders down the hall.

"Hey Erin, I just talked to Laura and then Mouse and Adam." Antonio says to her as he walks over to her, the two of them meeting just a few feet from the nurse's station.

"We arranged for Jay's animals to be moved to the old barn on my property." He announces and she gives him a weak smile and a half nod.

"I thought you'd be a little happier than that. Has Jay still not woken up?" He questions and she just huffs.

"He's awake, I just came out here to get a doctor." She answers and he looks even more confused.

"Did you get a chance to talk?" He asks next and she shrugs again.

"I guess you could say that." She nods as she goes over to the desk and asks for Jay's doctor to go to his room when he gets a chance. The petite blonde nods with a smile and lets her know that she'll page for him right away. Erin doesn't question it or push further - instead nodding her thanks before she walks back to Antonio.

"I'm going to go let Jay know the plan and then head out to get the cabin set up - unless you'd prefer for me to just wait and take him to my place with me."

She has half a mind to accept his offer to take Jay but she decides against it - hoping her and Jay will get another chance to talk even though she's still not sure what her response to what he said should be.

"No I got him. Thank you for everything Antonio." She tells him with a shake of her head.

She stays put outside of the room and soon Antonio is bidding her goodbye - pulling her in for a side bug before he leaves.

It's not long before the doctor comes to check on Jay and discharges him. Still Erin remains unmoving from her spot, where she's leaned up against the wall. But then she hears some rustling followed by a string of expletives, which cause her to walk into the room cautiously.

"Hey." He greets her, his eyebrows knitted together and his lips forming a pout as he struggles to pull up his pants.

"You ok?" She asks and he nods his head but she can see that he's not.

"Let me help you." She tells him as she moves towards the bed.

"I'm fine Erin." He warns but she just ignores him and hooks two of her fingers through the belt loops on his jeans to help hoist them up his legs.

He doesn't protest anymore and lets her assist him in getting dressed the rest of the way.

"Thanks." It's not all that sincere but she accepts it anyway and replies appropriately.

"Are you ready?" She asks and he nods enthusiastically and then they leave.


The beginning of the ride to the Dawson residence is mostly quiet with the exception of the radio and Erin's murmurs. She practically whispers along with every song that comes on. But her mood switches and voice grows a little louder when Mine Would Be You starts. She becomes more somber as she thinks about the memory from earlier. The way he sang and hummed along with this song at that time does something to her heart and a sad smile comes to her lips. Then she starts singing again - belting out the lyrics.

What's your all time high, your good as it gets

Your hands down best ever make-up sex

What's your guilty pleasure, your old go to?

Well if you ask me, mine would be you

She's surprised when she hears his soothing voice pitch in and soon both of their singing drowns out the radio - quickly harmonizing perfectly with their song.

What's your double dare, your go all in?

The craziest thing you ever did?

Plain as your name in this tattoo

Look on my arm, mine would be you

Mine would be you

Sun keeps shining, back road flying

Singing like crazy fools

Making up our own words

Laughing 'til it hurts

Baby, if I had to choose

My best day ever

My finest hour, my wildest dream come true

Mine would be you

When the song ends both of them fall silent again and their hearts both feel lighter and heavier than before. It causes him to rethink what he said to her when he first woke up - coming to his senses as the remaining alcohol finally leaves his system.

"I'm sorry." He apologizes but she doesn't say anything back or even seem to acknowledge his words so he decides to continue. "I know that I was an ass. I was hurt and angry with you and myself."

Still she remains unresponsive and he feels himself become a little frustrated.

"Are you going to say anything?" He questions after a beat and she pulls over to the side of the road, shifting the truck into park before looking down at her lap.

"What do you want me to say Jay? Tell me what I'm supposed to say." She replies and he is a little taken aback by the tone of her voice.

"Do you want me to say I'm sorry? Because I am." She sniffles a little but wipes her cheeks and goes on. "Do you want to hear that you were right? That it was wrong of me to push you away?" Her hands clench into fist in an attempt to stop them from shaking and her eyes slam shut to prevent her tears from continuing to fall.

"Erin I-" He begins but she shakes her head, signaling that she wasn't done.

"Do you want me to admit that I was - that I am selfish because I knew it would hurt when you came to regret being with me or moving away from your home?" She questions next and he shakes his head even though she's still not looking at him.

Both of them take a few moments to calm their aching and racing hearts. And then it's her that breaks through the silence this time.

"I don't know what to say that'll make this right - that'll help us move on. But I do know that despite what you might think I do care about you and because I care about you I didn't want to drag you down or pull you away from the only place you've felt that you belonged." She shrugs and he leans over to unbuckle her seat belt and then turns her toward him so their knees brush against each other's over the center console.

"I didn't want to end up like my mom. I couldn't make you choose between me and the ranch - no matter how much I wanted to. And I'm sorry that I made the decision for you. I'm sorry for hurting you and making you think that I don't care-" She stops when he cups her jaw and presses his lips to hers. It was a move motivated by both desire and in hopes of preventing her from working herself up even more. But he can tell it stuns her more than anything as her lips remain still, so he breaks the kiss but rests his forehead on hers, wanting to stay close for another few seconds before moving back.

"..about you." She whispers when they pull away as the pads of his thumbs swipe across her cheeks and wipe away her tears. Her eyes slowly open and she finds that he hasn't moved far - his face only a couple inches away from hers.

"I care about you too." He whispers against her cheek. "I caused you pain too. And I'm sorry for the things I said to you that day at the old cabin and today at the hospital. I knew you were going through a lot and I wasn't making it easier." He whispers in another effort to calm them both.

"But know that I didn't mean what I said. I don't think you're selfish or that you don't care about me. It's quite the opposite with you actually. I know everything you do is for others and it's one of the things I love the most about you." He admits and it causes her to crash her lips against his this time. This kiss quickly becoming more passionate than the last. There's still a lot for them to talk about but for now neither of them want to focus on that as they both let themselves get lost in each other after their time apart.


A/N: This chapter was a real struggle for me and I'm not sure it'll live up to what you were looking for. But I hope this little piece is at the very least 'ok' and that this is a longer - if not the longest chapter of the story so far makes up for it not being updated in like a month.

Of course the song lyrics is Mine Would Be You by Blake Shelton? - NOT mine! My apologies for any and all mistakes. Thanks so much to those of you still reading and reviewing! I honestly look back at the comments when I'm needing motivation. So as always your nice reviews are very much appreciated! I hope you all have a great rest of your weekend.