The Clinic…

"I'm having pains in my chest. Every time I lean over I feel like someone has knocked me through the heart with a hammer. Is that normal?" The slightly obese man asked uncertainly as House scribbled on a pad of paper in utter boredom, the shape of a fairly decent picture beginning to materialize on the page. His art teacher had been mistaken in high school when she had told him art wasn't his area of expertise. Hah! It sort of resembled what he was going after. A Picasso piece maybe?

"Mmmm Hmmmm…." House murmured unconsciously as the man grew quiet. House looked up before sighing as he perused the man's confused expression. What had the patient said? Something about pressure in the chest? Oh yeah.

"Excuse me?" The man asked as House pushed away from the table while trying his best not to roll his eyes. He reached over and pushed the page button again in order to summon Cameron as he eyed the man in irritation.

"Having trouble breathing occasionally?" House asked as the man nodded worriedly. House choked back a laugh.

"Any chance you've changed your diet lately, your exercise routine maybe?" House asked as the man tapped his chin thoughtfully as if he even needed to come up with an answer. If appearance were any indication, then the man hadn't exercised a day in his 38-year-old life. Finally the man shrugged.

"Well for breakfast, I had a breakfast burrito, a plate of bacon, a piece of toast…" The man droned on as House automatically tuned him out after the description of table scraps became more than he could bear. House grimaced. Where the hell was Cameron? House clapped his hands together loudly.

"Damn! I'm afraid I have bad news! Dear Lord, man, you are dying!" He proclaimed as the patient looked up at him in alarm.

"What?" The man asked meekly as House rolled his eyes.

"Or you will be if you don't learn to ingest only a portion of the cow or pig instead of the full animal within twenty minutes of getting up in the morning." House explained sarcastically as he walked over to a cabinet and began to dig through it quickly before pulling out a needle used for spinal taps and injections. The man gulped.

"Is that really necessary?" The patient asked almost in a whisper as House slapped himself on the forehead before placing the needle back onto the shelf.

"Silly me. Wrong treatment." House exclaimed as the man sighed audibly in relief. The door creaked open and House sighed in obvious expectation. That better be Cameron! As if on cue, her brown head peeked around the corner.

"Lord, woman! What took you so long?" House asked mockingly before turning back toward his patient. He handed the man two large round, white chewable tablets before looking over at Cameron.

"Explain to this man why the stomach is only allowed to hold so much of the allowable basic food groups and inform him of the damage that heartburn and gastritis can have over time if not kept under proper control." House commanded with a roll of his eyes.

"Plop, plop, fizz, fizz…oh, what a relief it is." House murmured as he brushed past Cameron through the door. She cocked her head to the side as he hobbled through.

"Should I feel relieved I didn't get the hemorrhoid case?" She asked in a surly tone as House grinned suddenly.

"That's the next case." He announced as he handed her the folder. She groaned.

"You could try filling your own clinic hours." Cameron pointed out as House laughed.

"And not give Cuddy a reason to harangue me. Really, Allison. And here I thought you knew me better than that." He said in mock insult as Cameron slammed the door in his face. The man was absolutely impossible!

House turned slowly away from the door only to find himself viewing Cuddy's delectable backside from across the waiting area as she drank straight out of a bottle of Pepto Bismol. He watched as her black business skirt stretched tightly over the curve of her buttocks before nodding in admiration.

"Are we using the new Buns of Steel video or just suddenly filling out?" House asked as he approached her quietly. She jumped, placing a hand over her heart before looking up at him.

"Hmmm, if I had known I had that effect over you, I would have made sure I found you alone in your office." House remarked suggestively as Cuddy looked over his shoulder at the doors of the clinic.

"Shouldn't you be on clinic duty?" She asked in irritation as he shrugged.

"And miss viewing your delectable apples as you stave off certain nausea. Is that a symptom you're experiencing a lot lately?" He asked lightly as he watched her jaw muscles clench audibly.

"I'm not pregnant, House!" She exclaimed sourly as he frowned.

"What is it with the women in my life lately. So disagreeable. You know they say that sex relieves an incredible amount of tension." House pointed out as Cuddy walked toward him menacingly.

"So does a day at the spa. And I have a feeling I'd get a more orgasmic experience out of that than out of…" She began as House's beeper suddenly went off. Cameron walked out of the clinic room behind him.

"Looks like the antibiotics didn't work." Cameron called out as they both made their way toward the elevator. House looked over his shoulder at Cuddy as he hobbled away, wagging his eyebrows as he went.


Moments later...

"I think she's hallucinating!" The mother exclaimed as Cameron and House entered the room of Bridget Durmont hurriedly only to find Chase and Foreman already present next to the bed, fighting to hold the girl down as she screamed frantically. House looked at the mother pointedly.

"Are you sure?" He asked the woman in astonishment as Cameron glared at him. Now was not the time to play mind games! She rushed for the nearest sedative, pulling the top off of a syringe before plunging it into the child's convulsing body. The girl continued to struggle a moment.

"My legs are growing!" The child screamed as tears ran down her face in streams. Cameron reached for her hand soothingly.

"Your legs are fine, Bridget." Cameron cooed, using the name available on the girl's case file. The mother gasped as sobs broke free of her body.

"She goes by Getty." The woman said quietly as the child screamed again.

"I'm shrinking!" She yelled as House perused the situation in interested silence. Cameron continued to run her hand along the child's forehead as Chase and Foreman held her down. She was stronger than she appeared, but her struggles began to cease as the medicine had the desired effect. House looked over at the mother.

"Is she taking any drugs that you are aware of? Any moments spent recently alone with friends carrying cans of hairspray?" House asked as Cameron gasped and Foreman moaned.

"House!" Cameron and Chase exclaimed as the mother looked up in astonishment.

"It's very common in pre-teen children these days. Huffing and doing drugs without the parent's knowledge." House suggested as Cameron hissed House's name again while Foreman groaned once more. The child had grown quiet now, completely lethargic due to the drug.

"My child does not do drugs!" The mother insisted as House shrugged.

"No child does, Mrs. Durmont." House stated matter-of-factly as his team moved away from the bed in order to shuffle him out of the room.

"She'll be fine now, Mrs. Durmont." Cameron said quietly before patting the woman's hand while Chase and Foreman ensured that House was removed from the area.

"Just Lauren. I'm not married anymore." The woman said in a whisper as Cameron nodded before moving past her out of the room.

"We'll find out what's wrong with her, Lauren." Cameron promised as she joined the men outside the door.

"What was that!" Cameron almost shouted as she faced House in obvious agitation. "That woman is scared to death and you accuse her ten-year-old child of being a drug addict!" Cameron continued as Chase shrugged.

"It would explain the hallucinations. It would even explain the headaches." Chase complied as Foreman shook his head.

"But not the fact that the mother claims she's had headaches on road trips when they've been driving for hours. No time for the child to huff anything while in the presence of her mother." Foreman pointed out as House raised a knowing brow.

"She's having distorted delusions. First, she's growing larger and then she's shrinking. Have a toxicology run on her in order to ascertain if she has any traces of drugs in her system and do a catscan on her brain. If it's not drugs, then her brain is our next best case scenario. Also, do an MRI while your at it and, Cameron, talk to Wilson and see if there is any possibility that the girl could have a tumor or cancer than might present with these types of symptoms" House ordered as he hobbled away from the room while deep in thought. Something about this case was bothering him. He needed to think.

As he limped away, he missed the way Cameron stopped suddenly outside the hospital room door in order to peer in on the child. She placed her hand on the doorknob and turned it slowly.

"Why don't I sit with her for a while and let you catch your breath?" Cameron asked Lauren Durmont quietly as she entered the room. The woman looked up gratefully, her strength sapped from her as she looked down at her daughter.

"Thank you. I would appreciate that." Lauren commented before walking out the door toward the break room.


Author's Footnote: Please press review and let me know what you think. Wonderful wishes.