She's lying with her head on his lap - her hand tracing the ink along his arm in front of her as she looks out towards the mountains. His eyes take in the bluish-purple color marring the side of her face and his chest tightens with anger and guilt - still feeling like he failed her. It's been a constant thought in his mind since the adrenaline wore off early this morning. For the umpteenth time in the past twenty-four hours, he silently reprimands himself for not listening to his inner voice when he felt the urge to go inside. He should have gone in shortly after her like they originally planned and sat at the bar - should have done anything to be closer to her. The feeling of never wanting her out of his sight has quickly changed to needing to push her away for her safety since the events last night.

"Stop that." She whispers - sensing the obvious shift in him in the last few hours. Her lips place a featherlight kiss to his forearm in attempt to calm him.

At first he thinks she's talking about him running one of his fingers up and down her back. But when she tilts her head to look up at him, he knows that's not what she meant and continues his ministrations. He carresses her face and asks for clarification because he's not sure what she wants him to stop.

"Blaming yourself, I'm-" She gets cut off by the sound her phone ringing from it's spot next to them. He plants his boot covered feet flat on the wood of the porch - immediately stopping the swing from swaying as she sits up. She pulls up the blanket she had lying on her, bringing it to cover her shoulders like a shawl, while keeping her eyes on him. "I'm fine - we're fine and you did nothing wrong Jay. So stop being so hard on yourself, please."

He nods and then she quickly answers her phone while moving to go inside. He's a little confused when she closes the door but doesn't dwell on it - figuring she'll tell him if it's something he needs to know.

He looks into the window - taking in the small but excited smile that comes to her face after she nods at the person on other end of the phone. A smirk of his own gracing his face before he hears some rustling grass nearby. He grabs the gun off the table next to him and points it out in front of him - keeping it there even when he sees the familiar face that comes into the light being shed from the window.

"You really did a number on her face." He notes as he takes another step towards Jay - the older man's gaze set on his daughter pacing inside.

"Like father, like son, huh?" He grumbles as he looks at Erin for a moment longer before his cold, dark eyes move to Jay, who shakes his head and chuckles at that.

"Something funny, Halstead?" Voight asks while leaning against the wooden railing of the porch.

"I knew you didn't know your daughter before but hearing you say that tells me you've never known her - not really anyway." Jay shrugs as he lowers his gun.

"Meaning?" Voight ponders and Jay looks at his girl - still talking on the phone.

"You really think I did something like that to her? That she wouldn't have fought back? And that she would still be staying with me?" His voice becoming a little deeper with each word as he points at Erin.

"A lot of women in abusive relationships feel they can't leave." It's Voight's turn to shrug as he argues his point.

"I guess you would know." Jay growls back and it causes Voight to another step to him.

"Just like a true abuser, you claim to care about her - maybe even love her. But deep down you don't - you can't after what she's put you through. Pushing you and pulling away all these years. And for that you hold a sort of resentment towards her." Voight as he looks ahead of him - clearly ignoring the younger man's words.

"Maybe you didn't get to her in time to protect her - not because you couldn't. No, it's that you didn't want to." The older man adds, once again looking at Jay.

Jay chooses to ignore all of what was just said to him and asks the question that's been on his mind since he saw Voight stepped onto his porch. "Did you have a real reason for coming over here?"

"Just to tell you to let her go. If you're the man you claim to be, give her the chance to have a real life. We both know you're just like Patrick, even if it wasn't you that beat her up this time, that doesn't mean it won't be you in the future. If you actually care about her then you won't hold her back. It's time for her to move on." Voight says as they both watch Erin continue her conversation on the phone.

By the time Jay looks back at his former boss, he's gone and Erin is walking back out onto the porch.

"What did my-" She shakes her head as if what she was about to say was the wrong term to use. "What did he want?"

He comtemplates telling her the truth but quickly decides to lie. "He just came to ask me a question about one of the horses. Everything ok with you?"

She sits down and takes ahold of his hand closest to her - intertwining their fingers.

"Yeah, everything's fine." She gives him a faked smile and he can see that she's mulling something over.

"But...?" He gently nudges her shoulder with his own and she squeezes his hand still in her grasp.

"I umm...I just have to go back to Chicago in a couple weeks." She answers nervously and his heart sinks - Voight's words of how he should her let her go replaying over and again in his head. It all stays with him and keeps him awake for awhile after they lie down in bed. Even when she cuddles into his side and falls asleep - something that usually helps anchor and comfort him enough to get a peaceful night's rest, doesn't do the trick. So he sits there for an unknown amount of time, just watching over her as she stays lying against him. And when he does manage to drift off, all of his thoughts manifest into something darker - something that brings his worst nightmare to the forefront of his unconscious mind.

It's instinctive - the urge to pull her into him even more so her warm body is pressed against his. His arms flexing around her and his hands coming to rest gently on her abdomen as he moves in blindly to kiss her neck. She sighs contently, the way she's breathing letting him know she's awake. Soon she begins to turn over and face him but just before he gets to see her illuminated in the moonlight coming through the window, there's a noise coming from a distance. It starts out low and then becomes louder - a high pitched wail echoing down the hall. After a moment he recognizes that the cries are coming from a baby? He's confused as to who's baby it is and even more so when she gets out of the bed without a word. The cries continue as he attempts to get out of the bed too - wanting to see his girl and the baby. But it's almost as if he's trapped in his skin - his body - as he yearns to move but remains in his spot. The only thing he can do is look around and that's when he realizes that they're not in their cabin.

His eyes take in his surroundings and soon he's staring down at himself. The out of body experience moving his sights from the bedroom and down the hall - stopping briefly at each of the rooms. The only difference from the last time he was here is that it's empty - no momentous of his family - every room bare of the furniture and items he remembers. He notes that otherwise, it all looks the same - the walls painted the same color and the different shades of the untreated wood flooring. And it's then that he notices the red spots on the floor.

He follows the drops of blood - taking him to the last room in the hall. The cries still coming but from somewhere closer by than before. When he moves into the room he finds the same sight as the previous ones - nothing. His heart pounds in his throat as he goes from looking over the small space to being back in his body. One of his hands reaches for the doorknob of the closet he often chose to hide in when he was a kid, it was the one he ran to the day his family was killed. He takes hold of the brass doorknob but there's something heavy and cool in his second hand - something he's aware of that keeps his hand glued to his side. He wants to look to see what it is he's holding but he can't move his gaze down anymore. So he focuses on opening the door as the cries get louder. But before he can pull the wooden slab towards him - his other hand begins to rise and he soon sees what he's holding. The trigger gets pulled back but it feels as though someone else is pushing his finger back. There's a click and then a muffled bang of the gunshot before it becomes quiet - even the baby's cries stopping. The door opens on its own and he sees Erin with a wound to her abdomen still holding a small, swaddled, blue bundle against her chest, one of the baby's feet peaking out the bottom of the blanket and a bloody teddy bear at Erin's feet. She's sitting in the same spot he did all those years ago, curled up with her eyes closed. His eyebrows furrow when he can't stop himself as he goes to shoot again but this time it makes it's typical, thunderous noise.

Sweat has accumulated on his skin as he shakes his head and mumbles incoherently - his chest heaving as he struggles to catch his breath.

"Shh babe." She whispers in between gentle kisses to his face - trying to comfort him and bring him out of his troubled slumber.

"No...No I didn't want to hurt her - them... the baby. I can't be like him." He whimpers as his face scrunches again.

"Jay wake up please." She whispers as she places a kiss to the shell of his ear when she realizes that he's still stuck in his dream.

"You're ok." She adds and he nods as her hand soothingly moves over his pecs and abs. The feeling of her bare, smooth skin against his side soothes him while he rids himself of the last remnants of his nightmare. It's the same bad dream he's had since the night Andrew was arrested almost two weeks ago. The details haven't changed from the first time he had the nightmare but it seems to haunt him more every night - even sticking with him throughout the day. He tries to bury it and pretend that he's fine but she knows him too well to fall for that.

"You know I plan on coming back before the sentencing, right?" She questions after he sits up. Even though she knows that her leaving isn't what is bothering him at the moment, she's hoping that broaching the wrong subject will help him open up about what's been eating away at him - more specifically what his nightmares have been about.

"I know." He replies dejectedly, then he sighs and she thinks that is going to be his only response but becomes hopeful again when he looks like he's comtemplating something.

"It's just that you've been here for a while - longer than you thought. Maybe when you go back, you should stay."

She shakes her head as she tries to think of a way to tell him that she doesn't want that and he takes a few deep breaths, gathering up the strength to push her away, again.

"You were right, it's not safe here - not with me - not even with Andrew locked up." He tells her, his voice breaking a little and that's when it clicks for her.

"Jay." She begins but he shakes his head again.

"Don't." He says in a way that vastly contrasts the way he's cupping her cheek, his thumb sweeping over the line where the cut has now healed. "Don't come back."

"So that's it? You can get pissed at me for stating that same thing when I thought it was best but now you can do it to me? No, we're not doing this again Jay. I'm not pushing you away and I'm certainly not going to let you push me away. I've stayed for as long as I have for multiple reasons but the biggest has always been you."

"I can't-"

"You can't what Jay?" She asks calmly but he still tenses under her.

The sheet gets pressed between her forearm and chest as she sits up while thinking of how to continue without pushing him over the metaphorical edge that they're teetering on right now. A deep sigh passes through her lips - her eyes drinking him in as he looks past her and over towards the window. "If you feel like can't tell me what's going on or that you can't talk to me that's ok. But you need to talk to someone Jay - even if it's the horses. Hell scream from the fucking mountain top babe. Just please don't wall me off anymore."

Her shoulders deflate as his do next to her. "It's not that easy Erin."

By the time she thinks of a reply to that, he's already up - having pulled his boxers on before padding over to the bathroom without another word.


She watches him as he fixes the papers and files for the case - lining up each page so there's no corners or edges sticking out of the pile. The simple act and the lines of concentration on his face make her smile. But it also makes her heart clench because she knows that their relationship is fragile to say the least - especially after this morning and she knows that these are the last few moments she'll have with him for the next couple weeks.

They've both been pretty quiet - their impending separation from one another looming over them. It's hard not to think about her leaving but they manage to remain focused on the case in the off chance that she doesn't make it back in time for the sentencing.

"I'm just going to talk to Nadia about a few things before we leave for the airport." She informs him as she heads towards the door of his office.

His muttered ok can faintly be heard as she reshuts the door behind her.

"Yes Sir, I'll pass your message along to the Commissioner. Is there anything else I can help you with?" Nadia asks the person on the phone in a singsong voice.

"Have a good day Sir...Thank you." Then she hangs up and finishes typing the email to who Erin assumes is Jay.

"Hey." Nadia greets her after swiveling her chair around.

Erin gives the younger woman a short smirk in response.

"What's wrong?" Nadia questions when she takes in the sad almost confused expression on her friend's face.

Erin sighs - knowing she's about to get the third degree. "Nothing, did you get the files I sent to you?"

"Yeah they've already been favorited, so I can find them easier. Is everything ok with you two?" Nadia nods.

Erin shakes her head to ignore her question. "I umm...I gave Jay the hard copies, those are just back up in case the sentencing is moved or I can't be here."

"Erin." Nadia scolds her for continuing to avoid her questions.

"No Nadia, everything is not ok." She replies in an exasperated way, both women glancing at the door separating them from Jay. Erin moves closer to her friend to continue their conversation with less of a risk of being overheard.

"Do you know why he's pushing you away? Are you still coming back?" Nadia inquires next but just the look on Erin's face lets her know the answer.

Erin shrugs, even though she knows she is in fact moving back and does have an idea of why he's trying to shut her out and push her away again. She remembers their brief talk the night Andrew was arrested and recalls their exchange this morning. His words and the look on his face stand out vividly in her head. It makes her think about his nightmares - wondering if they have something to do with what triggered him that night. And it serves as a reminder for her to let him know that he is not at fault and he's not his dad in anyway.

"Did you tell him you're coming back?" Nadia breaks her from her thoughts as she abruptly scoots her chair closer to where Erin is standing and nodding.

"I told him I'm coming back for the sentencing but that's it." Erin sighs again.

"Did you change your mind?" The younger woman's eyebrows furrowing with worry.

"I just feel like he's going to try to get me to stay in Chicago." Erin states honestly.

"You don't actually believe that's what he wants, do you?" Nadia questions.

Erin shrugs once again, causing the younger woman to huff in disappointment. "So that's it? You're just giving up?"

"What am I supposed to do Nadia?" Erin implored as she leans back against the wall.

"If it were me, I'd stick with my plan and fight for my man." Nadia smirks at her own unintentional rhyme but the expression on Erin's face let's the younger woman know that she is not amused.

"I-"

"We should head over to the airport, are you two ready to go?" Jay walks out - commanding the women's attention and both of them nod in answer - grabbing a few things and Nadia even shutting down the laptop before they all leave with Jay turning the lights off and shutting the door behind them.


Jay grabs the small bag of her things from the seat behind him while Erin talks and says goodbye to Nadia. By the time he walks over to the curb the two women are disengaging from a hug. Nadia gives him a small smile and nod before going to get into the passenger seat.

Erin moves closer to where he's standing at the end of the truck bed. He's avoiding eye contact and it causes her to worry even more than she already was about this moment. But she pushes through that and places both of her hands on his chest - fisting the material of his shirt and pulling him in close. Her eyes close as tears begin to form - feeling as if this is going to be it - that he's going to break up with her.

"I knew this moment was coming - that it had to come but I'm still not prepared for it." He runs his tongue over his lips in that nervous way he does - something she usually finds sexy but not right now.

"What moment is that?" She sniffles, her heart pounding in her chest.

"Saying goodbye to you again."

"Yeah." She looks down and bites her lip nervously. "I'm not prepared for it either."

He nods as he looks at her hands as they travel to his sides and grip his shirt even tighter than before. It causes him to wrap his arms around her one more time and pull her in so they're flush against each other.

"I'll see you in a couple weeks. Then hopefully we won't have to say goodbye anymore." She adds, hoping he picks up on her hint but it doesn't seem like he does - his only response is to nod again.

"You should probably head in." He suggests and she glances inside briefly and then looks back at him. It's her turn to nod as she stands on the tips of her toes to press a kiss to his cheek.

Nadia looks up from her phone and catches a glimpse of them in the side mirror. She smiles sadly seeing the way Jay has his hands set on Erin's waist and the way she's holding onto the edges of his shirt - both of them keeping the other close. Nadia takes a picture of the image in the mirror. She can't see Jay's face as it's hidden behind the cowboy hat on his head and she can only see Erin looking up at him as she nods and leans in to place a kiss to his cheek. Then Erin starts to walk away - turning her head back once more before she walks into the airport. He stays standing there for a few more moments, watching the doors and Nadia takes another picture to send to Erin. Once they go through, she's quick to delete both pictures - only taking them to prove a point. Along with the photos she types "He doesn't exactly look like a man who wants you to leave - let alone stay away."

"You ok?" Nadia questions as he climbs back into the truck.

"Fine." He replies curtly and it saddens her that they're both so torn up about the other. She gets so lost in her thoughts of how to help them that she almost misses him asking where she's going, to her apartment or to the bunkhouse to be with Kevin to which she answers with the latter. Then he shifts the truck into drive and begins the trip back the ranch.

"Do you want to talk about anything?" She implores after a little bit and at first he just shakes his head with a stern no. But within a few minutes he's telling her the idea that he's been tossing around since the night Erin found out she needed to go back to Chicago.

"You're afraid you'll hurt her?" She starts and he nods waiting for the implied next question.

"And you think a broken heart won't hurt her?" She asks just as they're pulling onto the gravel driveway of the ranch.

"Obviously I'm not her, but I think that will hurt her more than any physical pain anyone has or could inflict on her." Then she's moving out of the truck and walking towards the bunkhouse with Kevin meeting her just outside the door.

He takes the keys from the ignition before he too exits the truck. His ATV is just ahead of him and he starts the short walk towards it but gets stopped when he hears his name being called.

"Where's Erin?" Voight's voice a little more clear then it was just seconds ago.

"You all of a sudden care?" Jay grumbles - not really in the mood for another conversation his old boss.

"I've always cared, she's my daughter." Voight argues and Jay raises an eyebrow at that.

"Now she's your daughter? You haven't talked to her in weeks after telling her that you were the reason her mom and brother were killed and then told her that you never wanted her... But I can see how that would be a fatherly thing to say." Jay grits his teeth - recalling the pain that caused Erin and thinking he'll be doing the same thing so to speak if he follows through his plan.

"Where's my kid Halstead?" Voight snaps and Jay narrows his eyes at the older man as he tells him she went back to Chicago.

"Good, that's where she should be. Time for her to move on." He repeats much like he did two weeks ago.

"From?" Jay asks his eyebrows furrowed in frustration and confusion.

"Being here and being with you."

Jay doesn't get the chance to reply before the older man continues.

"I'm just saying kid, if you couldn't keep her safe that night, I'm sure you wouldn't be able to protect her from something bigger. And like I said before, with your bloodline - it's not like it would be long before it's you hitting or trying to kill her."

Jay pledges that he would never do anything to hurt her but then Nadia's words of how he'll be hurting Erin in the worst way if he breaks up with her, repeat in his head as Voight disappears into the stables.


He facetimes her that night - the conversations with Nadia after they left the airport and her dad both from a couple weeks ago and earlier tonight playing in his mind and distracting him. The decision to facetime instead of just calling her is one he made based on the fact that he thought it'd be easier but he quickly regrets it when he sees the tired but also somewhat hopeful smile on her face. The expression causes him to rethink not only the video call itself but everything else as well.

When she sees him continue to be at war with himself, she finds herself wishing she could be back by his side. And it has her contemplating just telling him her surprise plan. The plan that she's been afraid to tell him about because she thinks he'll try to talk her out of it.

"Talk to me Jay, please?" She begs when he suggests calling her back tomorrow.

"I don't know what to say or how to go about this because part of me thinks you should stay in Chicago." He admits and she shakes her head.

"I'm moving back to Montana, Jay." She finally tells him and he wipes at his beard as he looks somewhere else in the room.

"Jay?" She sighs when he doesn't say anything back.

He looks down again as he murmurs something before ending the call. She plops down on the edge of the bed - her hand with the phone in it falls to rest between her legs and her teary eyes scan the room with a few boxes of her belongings stacked against the walls - already ready to be moved into the van in a few weeks and driven to Montana.