Chapter 11
It took fifty minutes before Hermione was finishing up in her parents' bathroom and getting ready to walk out.
Normally, she never went past forty-five minutes for her routine, but there was a reason for the slight delay. Once she had finished drying off and placed her towel in the dirty clothes basket, rather than immediately moving to get dressed, she went back to the mirror and stared into it. Staring at the scar on her chest that she typically did all she could to glance away from during her bathroom routine.
For about thirty seconds, she remained motionless as she gazed into the mirror. At that point, she slowly reached up with her right hand and placed it at the tip of her scar. Then, she gradually began tracing the path of the scar down to its end at her hip. And as she did so, she couldn't stop the smile that rose to her face as she recalled how Harry described what he saw in her with the scar.
Loyal. Clever. Brave. Beautiful.
A few happy tears began to build in her eyes. How did she ever get so lucky to be with someone that could make her truly feel like she was the most special person in existence? And once she reached the bottom of the scar in her tracing, lingering there for a few seconds before pulling her hand away, she began to whisper out loud.
"Oh, Harry," speaking with all the affection she had within her, "you really are the most wonderful and remarkable person in the world. And I promise, even though I may still waver occasionally with the thoughts about my appearance, that I will do everything I can to never forget your breathtaking words."
After speaking, she took another thirty seconds of silence and, with a smile, continued to stare at herself in the mirror. That smile never left her face even once she went through and finished her routine, before making her way out of her parents' bathroom to find Harry.
Hermione knew Harry had finished before her because the door to the hall bathroom was wide open. She was a bit confused, however, when she looked into his room and found it still empty. But when she turned around and took a step away from the doorway, a jolt of surprise flashed through her when she saw him in her room, sitting on the floor against the side of her bed, his knees pulled up to his chest some and his arms resting on top of his knees. His head was tilted up so that he could look to the ceiling, like he was just staring up into space.
When she started walking into her room, the footsteps made him drop his head to see the disturbance, and his gaze locked onto hers. Then, he flashed her a warm and tender smile, to which she had to respond with one of her own. It warmed her heart that he was slowly beginning to realize that she trusted him with everything she had, and that he could safely wait in her room alone while she was gone. At that point, though he put his hands on the floor like he was going to push himself off the ground to stand, he paused when she quickly walked over and just sat down next to him on his right side. As she crossed her legs underneath her, he returned to his previous position. Then, after a few seconds of gazing silently at each other, she was the first to speak.
"So, what brought you down here, sitting on the floor?"
He gave a small grin and snort before replying, "Well, after what we had just finished, I figured it would be better to wait until the bed sheets were cleaned first. I did do a Scouring Charm after I grabbed my wand from the desk, but it couldn't hurt for them to get a regular machine washing as well, you know?"
He then said, "Speaking of wands," before leaning to his left and reaching down to pick something up with his right hand. When he sat up straight again, he laid his hand out to her, her wand laying in his palm and ready to be taken.
Taking it with a grateful "Thank you," she laid it on the floor beside her for the moment. When she turned her gaze back to him, however, she noticed him staring, almost pensively so, at the spot where her wand was laying. Her curiosity was piqued enough that she had to ask, "Is there something on your mind, Harry?"
His eyes locked onto her again before he said, "Well, a couple of things, actually. Both being wand-related."
She instantly replied, "What is it, then? I'm all ears."
He nodded and then became a bit timid before his next words. "It hit me, when I picked our wands up off of your desk before sitting here, that I've never even asked about your new wand. I mean, I knew from all of the time we've spent together this year that you quit using that old wand of Bellatrix's that we stole during the hunt. But I never even thought to ask when you got this new one. Especially now that I see how it looks so much like your old wand that was lost to the Snatchers."
She took hold of his right hand with her left, laying it down on the floor in between them before linking their fingers. Then, she gave his hand a quick squeeze before kindly saying, "Harry, you've had so much on your mind this year with the war's end. Don't feel bad that you didn't ask about my wand, it's alright. The fact that you want to ask about it now just shows how much you care about even the little things."
Though his overall expression didn't change, she saw his eyes soften in that same way they did when she would affirm her trust in him. That gave her hope that maybe he wouldn't hold onto that misplaced guilt on this subject.
She continued, "And yes, I did get a new wand. I got it when my parents and I went to Diagon Alley to pick up my school supplies, after I'd received the list of books along with the Head Girl badge from Professor McGonagall. And as for why, it's like I told Mr. Ollivander when he asked what brought me into his shop that day. While that wand of Bellatrix's may have stopped fighting against me after I killed her during the battle at Hogwarts, I just couldn't go on using the wand of someone that had tortured and murdered so many people, and that's not even counting the Cruciatus torture I had to endure at her hands. I guess it's like how you gave up Grimmauld Place because of the memories associated with it. I would never have been comfortable continuing to use the wand if I had a chance to get another one that was mine alone."
Hermione had to pause there when Harry closed his eyes and took a deep and slightly wobbly breath. She knew exactly what was on his mind, but he spoke before she had the chance.
"I'm so sorry that I got us captured by saying the name Voldemort, and forced you to suffer at her hands because of it."
Her immediate response was, "It was a simple mistake on your part, Harry. That's all. I've never once blamed you for what happened to us at the Malfoy residence. Plus, it was better that I be tortured rather than them realizing too soon that they had captured you and actually having time to call Riddle to the mansion. And while it hurts that we lost Dobby when he rescued us from the clutches of the Death Eaters, he knowingly chose to give his life for us because he cared about you. Just like I would choose to suffer everything that I did because I love you."
Given how often she'd needed to reassure Harry because of the overwhelming guilt he held within him, his response to her statements wasn't quite what Hermione had been expecting.
He glanced down to their joined hands, remaining silent at first. But it only took a couple of seconds before she was surprised to see a small but genuine smile appear on his face. He was silent for about ten more seconds, and she also kept quiet so that she wouldn't interrupt whatever was going on in his mind. Then, he looked back up to her, with that tender expression that could take her breath away, and spoke.
"Yeah, you both did choose to help me, in more than just that one instance. And I will forever be grateful to you and Dobby for that. Will always love you for being relentless enough to stay at my side through all these years."
She couldn't stop the smile that grew on her face and the happy tears that built in her eyes. He truly was beginning to heal. She recalled him mentioning earlier about having a realization that he hadn't been appreciating that people were making their own choice to help him in life. Whatever may have happened to cause it, she was glad that he seemed to be taking it to heart as much as he could. And though she was quite curious as to the event behind his realization, she was content to let him talk about it when he was ready, since he did say, during the mess with her scar, that he would tell her later.
His response was to widen his own smile, as though he understood what was on her mind. And for a few more seconds, the two just happily gazed into each other's eyes.
Then, Harry glanced back to her wand for a moment before saying to her, "So, if you don't mind me getting back on track, how did Ollivander end up having a near-exact copy of your old wand?"
Hermione couldn't help smirking at him, knowing the twist of fate that she would reveal by answering this question. There was a certain bit of information with this wand, now that she had a chance to actually think about it completely by itself, that she knew might blow his mind, since the information was relevant to Harry himself. The fact that it had some connection to him had amazed her, but at the time she'd gotten the new wand, it also just heightened her anxiety about potentially never seeing him again if he didn't show up to King's Cross on the first day of school, causing her to push that information into the back of her mind. And after the reunion, she had been too occupied with her worries over Harry to think back on her wand. But now… hopefully, he would be as amazed with it as she was now. And it was at that moment that she replied to him.
"Well," she said, drawing the word out for a couple of seconds, "you're right that it looks like my old wand. And it is a vine wood wand with a dragon heartstring core, just like my old wand. But there is still one key difference between this wand and my old one."
His slight confusion was adorable as he glanced, for a second, at her wand once again before asking, "I'm guessing the specific dragon used for the core, since I can't think of anything else it could be?"
She nodded and answered, "Indeed! While I was at the shop, I learned that my previous wand had used a heartstring from a Welsh Green dragon."
She then picked up the wand in her right hand and held it flat in her palm between her and Harry before continuing. "This wand, however, uses the heartstring from a Hungarian Horntail."
She giggled in her mind when Harry's eyebrows raised for an instant, and he nodded almost in fascination, as he looked back to the wand. But of course, there was more to say, and she continued.
"In fact, it uses the heartstring from a very particular Hungarian Horntail. A Horntail that Mr. Ollivander said a friend of mine would be quite familiar with."
And that caused the reaction she was expecting. His gaze snapped back to hers in an instant, eyes wide in shock. He looked to the wand again for a few seconds before turning back to her and stammering out, "Wait, you mean… the Horntail? The Horntail that I had to battle in the Triwizard Tournament?!"
She placed the wand on the floor on her right side again, before turning back to him and quietly answering his question. "The one and only."
His mouth dropped at the reply, and his gaze appeared as though he was more looking past her in his astonishment. After a few more seconds, his eyes focused on her again as he asked, "Do you – did Ollivander give you any details about how he got that heartstring, and how you may have ended up with the wand?"
She responded, "He did, actually. Apparently, Mr. Ollivander had made a deal with the sanctuary where Charlie Weasley works, since they supplied the dragons for the tournament. The deal was that, if Mr. Ollivander was willing to pay a higher amount than what the heartstring would normally have been worth, he would have the first claim to buy the heartstring of the Hungarian Horntail if it died prematurely within a certain amount of years. He told me that he doesn't get many chances to get the heartstring of a Horntail in its prime and didn't want to pass this one up. And it turns out that the Horntail ended up having to be put down around the one-year anniversary of the first task of the tournament, because it became too violent and went on a rampage throughout the sanctuary. Because of that, Mr. Ollivander was able to purchase the heartstring and finished making a wand with it by that Christmas."
Harry couldn't help interrupting, "He had the wand since Christmas of our fifth year? How did it not fit anyone for over two-and-a-half years?"
Hermione gave him a playful smirk and said, "That's what my next part was going to be."
Turning a bit sheepish, he replied, "Sorry, then."
She just gave his right hand a quick squeeze to show him that there was no harm done. His mouth curled upward for a second before he silently nodded, and he remained quiet afterward. With that, she continued where she had left off.
"Anyway, Mr. Ollivander told me that wands with dragon heartstrings can be quite temperamental, especially when they have not yet chosen a person with which to bond. He said that this wand, however, was much worse than any dragon heartstring wand he'd ever before had. A few of the best attempts of people who tried it ended with the wand just not doing anything when a spell was attempted. More often, though, it would actually cause some kind of accident in the shop. Thus, it became one of a select few wands that he had in a small section of his shop that he considered would be unusable.
"But then came the day that I walked into the shop. After he asked what brought me in, I pulled out that wand of Bellatrix's and said I'd been using it after losing my first one to Snatchers and that, even though it was working fine for me after I'd killed Bellatrix at Hogwarts, I was hoping for a new one so that I could finally snap that wand in half. He got this oddly thoughtful expression on his face before muttering about how my first wand was made with vine and a Welsh Green dragon heartstring. Then, he said that there was a certain wand that he wanted me to try. I was quite shocked when he came back with this new one that appeared so much like my previous one, but he just replied that looks can be deceiving before requesting that I try it. When I picked it up, I felt the same warmth in my hand that I did with my first wand, and I was able to emit a few golden sparks from it, along with successfully levitating the box in which he'd been keeping the wand."
Hermione picked the wand up again, holding it in her grip out in front of her and staring at it, before speaking again. "He was, of course, glad that I had found a match. But then, he asked me, giving me permission beforehand not to answer if it was too personal, if I had been somewhat timid when I was younger. I simply told him that I had a bad experience with bullying as a child that left me friendless until I met you, along with being afraid in my sorting that the aforementioned experience would make the Sorting Hat see me as too cowardly for Gryffindor. To that, he nodded and mentioned how that could have been why the Welsh Green core fit with me when I was eleven, since that dragon breed is one of the most docile by dragon standards.
"But after that, he said, and I quote, 'Then it seems your years alongside Mr. Potter have strengthened you beyond measure, for that Hungarian Horntail core to instantly accept you as its master.' My curiosity was even more piqued, however, when he gave a chuckle and enigmatically said that there could also be a second factor as to why this wand might accept me so easily. And when I asked him what he found funny, that is when he told me about the origins of the dragon heartstring used for the core. How it was the same dragon that you flew against in the Triwizard Tournament."
Her gaze finally turned back to Harry, as she lowered the wand into her lap, though still keeping a grip on it. And she somewhat shyly ended with, "So, there it is. That's the origin of my wand."
The shock and fascination had returned to his expression as she finished the story. He looked at the wand in her lap, but whatever thought next ran threw his mind must have been something that he was afraid to ask, since he took a long breath before looking back to her. Then, he haltingly whispered, "So, did something happen that caused you not to tell me about it? I can't imagine you would have just forgotten a piece of information like this over something small."
She heaved a sigh, once again fearing the guilty reaction her words could bring forth but having too much respect for him to lie about it. Then, she replied just as quietly, "I was astounded at first with what I learned. But all too quickly, it became another reminder that I could very well never see you again after having been unable to contact you for two months. And after we reunited, I was too worried about trying to help you to give any thought about the tale behind my wand."
His expression instantly became dejected as his gaze shifted to the wand again, and then to their still-joined hands a second later. Then, he unlinked his right hand from her left as he turned his head to look straight forward. Before she could protest in any way, though, he wrapped his arm around her and pulled her to him as much as her current sitting position would allow. She placed her wand to her right and quickly stretched her legs out in front of her so that she could snuggle into his side. Then, she laid her head on his shoulder and wrapped her left arm around him. He leaned his head against hers in response, and the two just wordlessly sat for about ten seconds.
Then, Harry quietly spoke up. "I'm sorry for causing you so much pain this year, Angel."
Hermione nuzzled his shoulder before gently responding, "You've been in so much of your own, Emerald. I'm just glad that you were willing to let me in."
He replied, "I know I'll sound like a broken record with this, but I'm glad that you were always with me until I finally wised up to let you in." He then let out a quiet snort before saying, "And it's good to hear that at least one other person is able to recognize your strength, even if they don't know just how incredibly strong you really are."
She just simply squeezed her arm a bit tighter around him, and the two were content to let the silence hold for a bit.
About a minute later, Hermione hesitantly ended the stillness with a question, though she didn't break her current cuddling position. "So, I know this will be an awful transition, but you mentioned there were a couple of wand-related issues on your mind. May I ask what the second one is?"
Harry chuckled and said, "It's OK, you're alright. And this might actually lighten things up a bit."
The confusion was clear in her next words. "What do you mean?"
He seemed to be a bit teasing in his response. "Well, do you remember how we agreed to start practicing wandless magic?"
She said, still puzzled, "Of course, Harry. We agreed to wait until Christmas was over to begin. Which means yes, I would like to start tomorrow, in case you ask. That way, we can get as much in now as possible considering that we'll have N.E.W.T revisions that will need doing throughout the new term. But how is that relevant?"
He chuckled again before mirthfully answering, "Well, I'd say that we might be able to cross Summoning Charms off of the list of spells to work on, since we were able to do that with no problem before you and I gave ourselves to one another."
It didn't take even a second for the images of what he was referencing to flash into her mind. And when they did, she immediately lifted her head from his shoulder and looked at him before letting out a laugh and exclaiming, with a smile growing on her face as she did so, "Oh my God. We did, didn't we!"
She received a laugh and a subsequent nod, and he said afterward, "Yep, we sure did! Nonverbally at that, too! I don't know about you, but it was barely even a conscious thought when I did it. All I knew was just that I needed my wand at that very moment, and it came to me."
Her response was, "That's exactly what happened with me! Like my intent was great enough that nothing else mattered to my magic."
The last statement played in her mind again, making her pause and become pensive. With her eyes glancing down, she grew lost in her thoughts, with one specific memory of fourth year standing out. Intent… could it really be that simple, going against everything her theory-based and logical mind always believed?
Hermione was pulled from her musings when Harry tentatively spoke. "Um, would I be interrupting if I asked what's on your mind? You look like you might be having some kind of epiphany."
She shook her head and gave him a warm smile. "No, you're alright. And I suppose you're not wrong with your statement. I just had a thought about our wands. But…"
When she paused for a second, he quietly asked, "But what?"
She just gave a small shrug of her shoulders and tenderly said, "How about we save it for tomorrow? Let's just enjoy Christmas with my parents today. What do you say?"
He looked at her intently for a second, but then gave a tiny smile of his own and replied, "Alright then. That sounds just fine."
Another male voice spoke from the doorway, startling them a bit. "Speaking of parents, if you don't mind the interruption."
They turned their heads and saw Jack and Miranda standing at the entrance to the room. There was a look of hesitance on both of their faces, before Miranda then added with concern, "Is everything alright, you two? We stopped up here to tell you that breakfast has been ready for you for the last fifteen minutes, since it's close to ten o'clock. I couldn't help but start worrying a little with how late it was getting this morning. But you look like you might have been in a serious conversation, if the fact that you're both sitting on the floor is any indication."
Harry shook his head and somewhat apologetically said, "You're right that we were talking, but everything's fine." He then turned his gaze to Hermione and added, "At least, I like to think it is?"
His question and the fact that he didn't want to just speak for her was obvious, so Hermione squeezed him again with her left arm and told him, "Of course it is, Harry." The sheepish look of relief and nod that he gave her said everything that was needed.
He then turned back to her parents and continued, "And as for why we're sitting on the floor instead of the bed, well…"
His cheeks quickly started becoming pink from the blush that was rising to his face. Hermione couldn't help shaking her head yet smiling at the same time. She knew that her parents were too smart to miss the possible implication of the combination of his statement and blush.
And sure enough, when Hermione turned to her parents, Miranda had a gigantic smirk on her face and teasingly replied, "Would I be right to assume that reason is also why your room was empty at seven thirty, Hermione's door was shut, and you two were nowhere else in the house and thus had to be in here together?"
Harry's blush immediately deepened to a dark red with the question, but a look of terror also appeared in his eyes. Hermione instantly laid her head back on his shoulder and gave him a nuzzle, trying to remind him that she was still here for him. The squeeze of his right arm indicated his gratitude.
At that moment, Jack let out a chuckle and said, "Well Harry, you should probably wait a while before you start playing poker. Your bluffing skills will need some work for you to manage very well."
He then became a bit more serious again and reluctantly added, "Now, you know I have to ask – "
With the need to assuage Harry's current anxiety overriding her greater logic, Hermione immediately looked at her father with a stony expression and angrily interjected, "The rules were followed exactly as they were laid out for us, and it was all my idea in the first place."
Jack raised his eyebrows before holding up his hands and firmly responding, "Easy there, Hermione, don't get snippy. No need to bring out the protective instincts."
She had the sense to look somewhat chastised at her father's admonishment, especially since she'd even predicted that her parents would ask about using protection, but the steel in her eyes never wavered.
Jack dropped his arms back to his side and leaned against the door frame before adding, in a gentler tone, "I'll admit that two days after our talk was still faster than I was expecting even with how prepared I was about the relationship between you two, and that it's still a little hard for me to think that enough time has passed that our Little Worm is truly old enough to even think about things like that now. But like your mother said when we all had that conversation, you two are adults, and we really just want you to be happy. Whether or not you follow the rules that we set, you can still make your own choices if you're both willing to live with the results. And I do trust you two if you say that you used protection."
He then gave a tiny smirk. "Of course, I've also been around your mother long enough to not be above wanting an agreement that the two of us get to say 'we told you so' if you do end up experiencing pregnancy before the end of this school year, even if it's an accident and you actually had taken precautions beforehand."
Hermione just lifted her head from Harry's shoulder and blew a raspberry at her parents, seeing that they had reached the 'teasing Hermione' phase of this conversation. That just caused her parents to start laughing good-naturedly. When she looked to Harry, though there was still some fear remaining in his eyes, his mouth was curled in a smile such that she knew that he was holding back some laughter at her immature action as well. She just smiled back at him and gave another squeeze of her left arm.
Then, as he glanced back to her parents for a second, he let go of her and pushed himself to stand, holding his right hand out for her after doing so. She took it and pulled herself up alongside him, sticking her wand in her jeans after standing. Her parents had gotten their giggles under control by that point and were now just looking at the two of them.
At that moment, Harry quietly said, "So, you're not angry that we… that I…"
He was still afraid enough that he couldn't finish his sentence. Jack, taking pity on the young man, pushed off of the door frame and stepped into the room, stopping a couple of steps in front of Harry. Though he could feel Miranda coming up to stand beside him and in front of Hermione, he kept his attention focused on Harry as he spoke.
"Let me answer that with a question of my own, Harry. If you'll indulge me."
Hermione shifted her gaze back to Harry and immediately took hold of his right hand again. Whether it gave him enough resolution to allow the question or to refuse it, she just hoped that he could pull strength from her.
For Harry, though he didn't move his gaze from the older man in front of him, the unspoken gesture of support made his mouth twitch upwards for an instant. Taking a long but quiet breath, he finally responded, "Go ahead. I'll answer anything you want to ask, Jack. Or sir, if you would prefer that in a situation like this."
That brought forth a quick chuckle from both parents before Jack replied, with a hint of joking in his tone, "Alright now, no need to fall back on formalities just yet."
He then became serious again and asked, "So, Harry… I take it you now know about the scar?"
Harry's expression turned somewhat grim as he gave a slight frown and answered, giving Hermione's hand a squeeze while doing so, "Yes, I do."
The action didn't escape Jack's eye as he continued, "And it doesn't bother you?"
Hermione just couldn't remain silent at what was, to her, such a stupid question. "I gave him my virginity after having revealed the scar to him this morning. Don't you think that's answer enough?"
The blunt response caused Miranda to burst out laughing for a few seconds. When she was able to stifle the laughter, she turned to her husband and said, "She's not exactly wrong."
He smirked at her for an instant and replied, "I'm well aware of that." He then looked back to Harry and added, turning serious again, "And I promise there's a method to my madness, since I'm also aware that you've had your troubles and bad experiences in life because of your own scar. This is basically like Hermione on that night after we decorated the tree. I'd just like to hear the words for myself."
Harry turned his gaze to Hermione, who was looking at him with conflict in her eyes. Leaning forward until his mouth was almost grazing her ear, he whispered for only her to hear, "It's OK, Hermione. I don't mind answering whatever questions they give me. I'll be fine. Like you said, I've got you here with me."
When he pulled back, while there was still a bit of turmoil in her expression, he could also see tenderness in her eyes. Then, she just gave him a small nod, showing that her trust was in him for whatever he may say. He nodded back before shifting his gaze to her parents again, who were now looking at the two with tiny smiles on their faces. Taking a long but quiet breath, Harry finally started responding to the second question posed to him.
"The scar does bother me in part, but not for the reasons you may immediately think."
He saw Jack raise his left eyebrow very slightly in curiosity, but everyone remained silent as Harry kept talking.
"It bothers me that she only got the scar by following me, when we went to the Department of Mysteries at the Ministry of Magic after Tom Riddle – that's who Voldemort is in case you still don't know his actual name – after Tom Riddle planted false visions in my head of my godfather being held captive there. It bothers me that I didn't listen to Hermione about the visions being a trap, which she was completely correct about. It bothers me that, because of that curse, I very well could have lost by far the one person in my life that matters more than anything in the world, and I would never have realized her importance until it was too late."
The Granger parents were now both looking at him with sympathetic sadness at this admission of the guilt within him. He also knew, from how tightly she was squeezing his hand, that Hermione was trying her best not to break down as well, wanting to reassure him that he shouldn't feel guilty about her choice. While he wasn't sure if his shame would ever completely leave him, his experience from last night had given him the resolve to take the good from people choosing to help him. And it was time for Hermione to learn exactly what happened and why he was now trying to stop feeling guilty.
"Had you asked me at any time before today, those reasons I just told you probably would have been the end of it, because I would have been wallowing too much in my own shame. But last night, I had a dream that forced me to realize that, by focusing on that guilt, I wasn't appreciating that people were making their own choices to help me. Choices just like Hermione coming with me to the Ministry even when she was certain that no good would come from it."
He could see curiosity light up a bit in the eyes of the parents. Still continuing to force himself not to look at Hermione so that he wouldn't pause in his story, he started talking about what happened the previous night.
"Last night, Hermione pleaded with me to stay in her room in case I had a nightmare after the heavy talks that were had at my parents' grave in Godric's Hollow. Because she's been right so many times before when I didn't agree with her about something, I listened to her for once and slept next to her. And I truly believe that it was only because of her presence that my dream even happened."
Seeing the beginnings of confusion in Jack and Miranda's expressions, he started plunging into the meat of the matter. "At one point, I heard Hermione whisper something to me, but when I opened my eyes to talk to her about it, I was in a white void. And when I stood up and turned around, I saw people standing there. People that I've lost in the war against Tom Riddle."
He took a deep breath before making the reveal. "James and Lily Potter, my parents. Sirius Black, my godfather. Remus Lupin, a friend of my parents and a former professor of Hermione and myself. Nymphadora Tonks Lupin, a friend of ours who became Remus' wife, though she prefers to be referred to as just Tonks since she hates her first name. And finally, in Tonks' arms… Teddy Lupin, the infant child of Remus and Tonks, and my godson."
Jack and Miranda widened their eyes at this information, and Harry heard Hermione gasp at his side. When he saw Miranda start to open her mouth to say something, he instantly held up a hand to stop her. Once she paused, he said, "Please, let me just finish everything I need to say. You'll know that I'm done when I bring this all back to the original question. Alright?"
The two parents just silently nodded, while Hermione also gave his hand another squeeze as an affirmation.
He continued, "After receiving a hug from everyone and getting to interact with Teddy for the first time ever, I quickly started losing myself in guilt, thinking about how they were all dead because of their connection to me. Even when every one of them, or at least all the adults since Teddy wasn't able to actually talk, told me that I shouldn't think such things, my self-pity just wouldn't allow me to believe them. But then, my mum did something that finally broke through to me."
At this point, he looked at Hermione and couldn't help smiling, needing to say this next part directly to her. Of course, this just furthered the confusion that he had seen on her face when he turned to her. He wouldn't keep her in suspense and thus continued.
"Mum asked me what you would say about me blaming myself even just for the things that you suffered," which caused her eyes to widen a bit more. "After everything you've done for me this week, and all that I'd realized about so much of our earlier years, my answer was automatic. That you would never hold any blame against me, and that you would suffer through everything again just for us to be together. Then, when Mum questioned me on whether I would trust your answer, I replied that I trusted you with all that I am."
Though her lips were also trembling slightly, a smile began to grow on Hermione's face once he gave this information. He couldn't help but wonder whether the big reveal would give her either just pure shock or a combination of surprise and happiness, but he wasn't going to look away from the chocolate eyes of his beloved. He may have started telling all this in response to a question from her father, but this part was more for her sake.
"That's when Mum hit me with one more question. If I could trust you when you say I'm not to blame, then would it be so hard to believe all of them when they say that you would be completely right to think so, and that they all felt the exact same way in regards to the tragedies that befell them as a result of the choices that they made and were willing to stand by? And when I looked into her eyes and saw zero doubt, and then heard everyone else fully agree, it really hit me in that moment that they all truly were just happy that I'd survived my ordeals and held not a bit of animosity towards me for all that they had to suffer. Just like you."
Hermione's mouth had dropped open by this point, and she was unable to refrain from whispering, "The realization about choice that you mentioned earlier. It only came about because of me?"
Harry gave a soft chuckle and squeezed her hand. "You caught on easily. And at the risk of sounding redundant, is that so hard to believe? A lot of things in my life are because of you. A life itself, for one, considering I would be dead a thousand times over without you at my side for all these years. And you started this whole process last Friday night, when you were finally able to break my barrier and get me to talk to you about my issues. Why wouldn't this new step be because of you, as well?"
She was left speechless with his response, only able to rapidly blink for a second to keep tears from building in her eyes. He remained silent for the moment to let her try to compose herself. In fact, he was so engrossed with her that he would have forgotten where he was standing had a small whimper not broken through to his mind and reminded him that they weren't alone.
Turning his head to face forward again, Harry saw that Miranda was fighting back some tears of her own, while Jack also had a gentle smile on his face from watching the scene. Remembering what this was all in service of, Harry squeezed Hermione's hand again and decided to try and bring this foray into his memory to an end.
Speaking to the parents once again, he said, "So, by using Hermione as that first example, my mum and dad were able to get me to see that people were willingly giving themselves to help me. That all of them knowingly chose to fight against Riddle even if death was certain. That the two of you were kind enough to let me stay here for the holidays even when I thought that there were certainly many reasons for you to want nothing to do with me. And that Hermione wanted to remain at my side and do whatever she could to bring some happiness into my life, no matter how many times her efforts failed.
"And the one thing that my mum wanted me to take away from the meeting was that… I didn't have to keep holding onto my guilt for the choices that other people were willing to make. When combining those words with not only everything Hermione has done for me but also how she said with full certainty that her friendship with me made her a better person, all I want to try and do now is simply appreciate the fact that people in my life care enough for me to make such choices."
He paused to take one deep breath before his next words. "Now, to bring everything back to your original question. I'm not yet sure if those feelings of shame within me will ever completely and totally go away. It's been so ingrained in me that I wouldn't be surprised if there will always be a smidgen of that guilt remaining. But now, I'm at least starting to become aware of my faults and have one way to start trying to slowly wash that guilt away.
"So, does the scar bother me? Only in the sense that I hate that Hermione was ever attacked and received it in the first place. What it doesn't do, however, is sully her appearance in any way. I'll tell you basically what I said to her this morning. When I look at the scar, all I see is her unwavering loyalty to help me even when she disagrees with me, her steadfast bravery in fighting alongside me against impossible odds, and the incredible love she has for me in continuing to remain at my side afterward. All of that undoubtedly makes her the most beautiful person in the world. A person that no one could ever truly be worthy of, but one that is amazing enough to have chosen to be with me, and I will do everything in my power and beyond to live up to that choice."
Harry was not expecting the fierce tug that would be made to his hand as soon as he finished that statement. And in an instant, Hermione had pulled him to her and wrapped him in what might actually have been the tightest hug she had ever given him that still allowed him to breathe. He was befuddled for about two seconds at the sudden action before he quickly realized what had happened and then circled his own arms around her, laying his chin on her shoulder.
Then, whispering into his ear this time, she said, "You already have, Harry, by choosing to be with me as well. And thank you for being so amazing."
At her words, he felt that need to belittle himself once again rise up within him. But he pushed it down, remembering both his promise to appreciate the choices of others as well as his own words in the graveyard about keeping her compliments about him in mind. Thus, he remained silent and simply gave her a quick squeeze as a sign of acknowledgement. The squeeze she gave him in response told him that she understood his action.
A few seconds later, the sound of movement caused the two of them to pull back so that they could face forward, though they continued to keep one arm wrapped around each other. They saw Miranda wiping her eyes with one of her hands, and Jack looking at her and holding a hand on her shoulder for comfort.
When she finished and looked back at the two teenagers, she gave a watery smile and managed to say, with the hint of a chuckle in her voice, "Well, we certainly did receive the words, didn't we?"
Jack gave a quiet but amused snort as he replied, "Indeed. It seems that you don't do things by half, Harry."
Then, dropping his hand and turning to look directly at Harry, he quietly added, "And that's why we're not angry about you two having sex already. Because there's probably not another soul on this planet that would see our daughter the way that you do."
It seemed to Harry that he wouldn't be able to go a single day at the Granger residence without the parents leaving him completely speechless with how highly they thought of him. He had to start blinking his own eyes from the buildup of tears.
Hermione, seeing him at such a loss again, circled her other arm around his waist and laid her head on his shoulder. The tightening of his right arm around her was the only acknowledgement she needed.
Seeing the response his words had caused, Jack tried to bring things back a little from the heaviness that had descended upon the room. "On a lighter note, Miranda and I have been aware of how Hermione felt about you since at least the day after you left Australia, even if she hadn't yet realized those feelings herself. Frankly, the two of us were a bit ashamed to have never suspected anything before then, or maybe we were just being willfully blind since Hermione had never talked to us about any sort of dating happenings in her life. A lot of her actions in previous years made a lot more sense when looking through the lens of romantic feelings, but I digress. In any case, my better half," nudging his head for an instant towards Miranda, "had more than enough time to get me prepared for what was to come."
He then added, with a little smirk, "So, if it's the 'angry father who hates the man his daughter is dating' routine that you're worried about, then don't be. You won't be receiving any lecture of that kind."
That statement made Harry start to give what sounded like a relieved yet happy laugh. Hermione couldn't help smiling and nuzzling his shoulder at the sound.
When his laughter dwindled after a few seconds, she pulled her head up to look at him. He turned his head to her a second later, sensing her gaze on him. The tender smile he gave her made her weak in the knees and would have dropped her to the floor if she hadn't been holding onto him at the moment.
They only stared at each other for a couple of seconds this time before managing to recall the other occupants within the room. When they turned to face the parents again, Miranda then gently asked, "So, are there any other questions you have? Or just anything else you think you would like to get off your chest, so to speak?"
Hermione just gave Harry a shrug, letting it be his decision if there was still anything weighing on his mind. Seeing that, he glanced away in thought for a few seconds. Then, shifting his gaze back to Miranda, he answered, "No, I… I think I'm actually good at the moment."
The older woman softly replied, "Good then." She then, however, had a bit of a tease in her tone when she added, "Now, there's only one question I have… have you two already cleaned yourselves up since this morning?"
Harry and Hermione both blushed at the blunt question, but she responded, "We both went and took showers at eight thirty. With me going to your bathroom and Harry using the hall bathroom, mind you, before you start getting any more ideas."
That caused Jack to immediately let out a chuckle, to which his wife gave him a light slap on the arm but was still clearly holding back her own giggles as well.
Hermione just continued speaking, "And Harry did a Scouring Charm to clean the sheets, but we're not sure if you would consider that thorough enough of a wash."
Miranda just replied, "Well, first and foremost, if you two are clean, then I can finally do this."
She then stepped up and wrapped her arms around both of them in a hug before happily saying, "Merry Christmas to both of you."
After a few seconds, she pulled away and stepped back. Jack then immediately took her place in the hug and said, "Merry Christmas, you two."
When her parents were standing next to each other again, Hermione smiled and responded, "Merry Christmas, Mum and Dad."
At the same time, Harry quietly replied, "Merry Christmas, Jack and Miranda."
Miranda then said, "Well, like I first mentioned, breakfast is sitting on the table for you two. You may have to heat it up a bit depending on how cool it's gotten. And you'll also have to mind me running around the kitchen, as well. We waited as long as we could before the point that I wanted to start getting things ready so that I can have the Christmas meal cooked."
Harry immediately asked her, "Do you need a hand with anything? Is there something I could do to help?"
She lightly chuckled and replied, "No need to worry, I have my husband if something would come up for any reason. But as always, the offer is much appreciated."
Miranda then turned to her husband and added, "And if there's nothing else that they need, you can help me take her bedsheets down to the washing machine. I was going to wait until tomorrow to do everyone's, but we have as good an excuse as any to take care of Hermione's now."
Jack couldn't help letting out an incredulous laugh for a couple of seconds. Then, with a resigned smile, he said, "I can't say I ever saw this task in the job description when I signed up to be a parent."
She playfully replied, "You must have missed it in the small, fine print at the bottom of the document, dear."
He smirked at her and retorted, "Of course, that must be it, honey. You are always right, after all."
In the meantime, Harry and Hermione looked at each other with small grins on their faces while her parents were teasing one another. She just shook her head in amusement at the display, which caused his grin to widen.
The two of them turned forward again when Jack spoke to them. "In all seriousness, if there's nothing else either of you need, then we'll see you downstairs once we get all these sheets pulled off."
As Miranda and Jack made to move towards the bed, they instantly stopped when Harry said, "Actually, it might still be a few more minutes, if you don't mind. There's something else that I want to tell just Hermione at the moment." Looking over to her, he timidly added, "If that's alright with you."
Hermione affectionately responded, "Of course, Harry. You can tell me anything." She could see the small bit of relief in his eyes when he nodded his acknowledgement.
Their gazes shifted back to her parents when Miranda gently said, "In that case then, we'll see you two whenever you're finished. We'll keep your food on the table for when you come downstairs."
Hermione was the one to reply. "That sounds good. Thank you, Mum. Thank you, Dad."
With that, the teenagers let go of one another to get out of the way while the parents began gathering the sheets and cover from the bed. And after another minute, Harry and Hermione were alone once more. They looked at each other for a second before both moved to fully hug one another. Then, as they gazed into each other's eyes, Hermione quietly spoke after a couple of seconds. "So, what else is on your mind, Harry?"
His expression went soft for a second as he just smiled at her, but then he became somewhat serious. "Well… in the dream, I promised my mum that I would pass on a message to you from all of them."
She blinked a couple of times in confusion. "A message? What could they have wanted to tell me?"
A small smile reappeared on his face before he responded, "To tell you that… they were so thankful that you were at my side through everything we faced. And how happy they were about the two of us getting together and finding happiness with each other."
Her eyes went wide and her mouth dropped in astonishment. "They – they really felt that way? And truly thought that highly of me?"
He gave a small yet amused snort. "Why wouldn't they, after all that you've done and sacrificed for my sake?"
His expression became a bit more somber, however, before his next words. "Still... even though there's a part of me that wishes what happened wasn't a dream, I also know that's the only logical option. Especially since the only way it could truly be real is for me to be dead, which would mean not being with you right now. And because I know that it was a dream, that message could always just have been my subconscious telling me what I wanted to hear, that my parents fully approve of us."
She stared at him for a second before bringing his forehead down to hers and then placing her left hand on his cheek. Then, she whispered, "Well, as far as it being a dream… does it matter if it is?"
He couldn't help quietly laughing for a second. So that she wouldn't be confused about his response, he then said, "I actually asked myself that question last night, when I recalled the cold version of you from my previous nightmare giving that same phrase. And this time, I had a clear answer… no, it doesn't really matter. All that matters is that I actually got to see my lost friends and family one more time. And through that meeting, I have a way to begin washing away the guilt inside of me, by trying to focus on and appreciate the fact that people cared enough to go so far for me. Maybe it'll be a slow process considering how much shame I've been holding onto, but I truly feel like I've finally made a first step this time. And like you said, the first step is always the hardest."
Even though Harry was still talking quietly, Hermione could easily hear the resolution grow in his tone after each statement. And the huge yet tender smile that grew on her face as he finished speaking was one that could have rivaled that which she had when she first looked at him after they finished making love. Her heart and soul were so lifted by his words that she couldn't resist leaning her mouth in and giving him a deep kiss. She could sense his surprise for the first instant before he quickly responded to her affections.
When she pulled her mouth away, she warmly said, "I'm so happy for you, that you were able to see them all, and that they were able to help you even further with your issues. And even if the meeting was all just a dream, it can still be as real as you want it to, Harry. No one can ever tell you otherwise."
He gave a soft chuckle. "That's exactly what my mum said when I talked about knowing how it was a dream."
Hermione gave a little smirk before replying with a bit of a teasing tone, "Then maybe that means my advice is sound, doesn't it?"
The soft expression that could take her breath away appeared on his face as he fondly responded, "Your advice is always sound, even if I didn't agree at times in our earlier years. It's why I heeded your fears about having a nightmare last night. And it's why I believe that it was only your presence, how you were holding me all night, which allowed me to have that wonderful meeting. Thus, while I'm sure you'll eventually get tired of me repeating this, I have to say it… thank you so much for always being there for me and looking out for me, Angel. None of this would have been possible without you."
She gave his cheek a gentle caress with the hand that was still on it before wrapping her arm back around his waist. Then, she lovingly whispered, "You never have to thank me for that which I will always do, Emerald. But if you need or want to say the words anyway, I will still be as grateful to you for believing in me the thousandth time you give thanks as I was at the first. And I thank you for showing me friendship and bravery, without which I could never be here for you in the first place. You really are not only a great wizard, but a wonderful person as well."
The callback to first year made him smile before he affectionately replied, "I'm not as good as you."
She couldn't help quietly giggling at how he was going along with their old memory. That caused his smile to widen before he tightened his arms a bit more around her and then placed his chin on her shoulder. She squeezed him harder in response, and for a time, the two remained silent and simply took joy from their hug.
Eventually, Harry was the first to start pulling away, so Hermione let him without resistance. Once they had separated, he looked at her for another second before smirking and saying, "Well, what do you say we head downstairs and finally eat our cold Christmas breakfast?"
He then glanced at her clock before adding, "Or maybe I should call it an early lunch instead, since it's already past ten thirty."
She couldn't help the amused snort that left her. Then, she simply took hold of his right hand in her left before saying, "Sounds like a date then." The small smile that immediately came to his face was the only response required.
As Hermione led Harry out of her room and down to the first floor, her mind focused back on how she had called this day the best Christmas of her life. Now, after the talks and displays just shown… forget just being the best Christmas. This was quickly becoming one of the best days of her life overall. If there was anything that could possibly top what had taken place up to this point of the day, she couldn't think of it at the moment.
Of course, enough strange things had happened in her years of friendship with Harry that she couldn't dismiss anything out of hand. Whatever may happen throughout the rest of the day, though, it could never take away from the sheer happiness that she had experienced thus far.
A/N: That mention in Chapter 2 about Hermione's new wand was always going to lead to something ;)
And yes, Christmas Day is certainly taking up some time in-story. There'll be one more chapter set during this day (though it won't be the actual last chapter overall, just so no one gets it twisted), and hopefully it'll make sense why the split was done.
For everyone who has made it this far, thank you so much for reading, and I hope you stay tuned for more!
