Chapter 18
Upon reaching the compartment, Hermione took a deep breath to first prepare herself for whatever she may find with Harry on the other side.
She quickly knocked six times, just like she had done on the journey away from Hogwarts. Then, to be safe, she pulled out her wand and concentrated as hard as she could to cast a powerful Unlocking Charm. Whether it was necessary or not, the door opened for her afterwards, so she quickly darted inside before shutting it and then recasting a Locking Spell. After putting her wand away, only then did she finally turn around and look at Harry.
He was in the same seat as before, but now he was as close to the wall as he could be. His arms were crossed over his chest, and he was leaning his head against the wall to look out the window. He was staring quite forlornly at the passing surroundings. Crookshanks was even curled up in his lap, as though the cat knew that Harry could use some comfort, but Harry seemed as though he didn't even realize that the cat was there.
Hermione couldn't help looking on in sadness. She hoped with all of her heart that this wouldn't set things back to the point where they were two weeks ago.
As she started moving towards the seat, Crookshanks looked up at her before standing up from Harry's lap and jumping onto the table between the left and right seat. He remained sitting there and watched while Hermione moved over and sat down on Harry's left side. As all this was going on, however, Hermione felt her concern deepen when Harry didn't even move a muscle the entire time.
She placed her right hand on his thigh, hoping for some kind of reaction. She did get one when he rapidly blinked for a moment before then closing his eyes and hanging his head a bit lower. It wasn't much, but it was a start.
Remembering Luna's words, Hermione tried to start with some lightness. "Before I left to come back here, Luna told me to tell you that you shouldn't let the Wrackspurts take refuge in your brain. So, as silly as this will probably sound coming from me… you should say 'begone' to those Wrackspurts floating around you right now."
Her spirits were lifted a bit when Harry chuckled for a couple of seconds. With his eyes still closed, he said, "Smart girl, that Luna."
Then, he straightened his posture a bit to stop leaning against the wall. He opened his eyes before finally turning his head to face her.
At that point, Hermione whispered, "Talk to me, Harry. Tell me what all is on your mind. Please?"
His face grimaced for a moment as though in pain. He remained quiet for a few seconds first, but he did finally speak.
"Is it wrong how angry I still get regarding Ginny and how she tried to question me earlier this year?"
It wasn't quite what she had been expecting, but it was still related to his natural tendencies to feel guilty over things. Not to mention, she also had an easy way to show him that he wasn't in the wrong at all, at least compared to her.
She replied, "In my mind, you have nothing to worry about. Especially considering what I just did to Ginny after she tried attacking me."
That caused him to sit up completely straight and uncross his arms. His eyes also went wide with anger as he said, "What! What the hell do you mean you got attacked by Ginny?!"
Hermione immediately placed her right hand over his left one. "It's alright, it's been handled. But I'll tell you what happened."
She proceeded to give him a recap of what exactly had happened after he left, watching as Harry became more furious with every passing minute. And once she finished the tale, he slammed his right fist against the wall, startling Crookshanks out of his loaf position, and then gazed at the outside surroundings again when he dropped the hand.
He heatedly said, "Is Ginny that blind? I'm willing to acknowledge that I could have been overly harsh about things, even if I myself don't really think so. But is she just so entitled that she simply can't see how she also contributed in part to what happened the last time she talked to us?!"
A scoff left his mouth before he continued in the same tone. "Of course, maybe she is. Given that Ginny was not only the youngest child but also the only daughter, it wouldn't surprise me if she was spoiled rotten by her mother in her childhood. And it especially doesn't help that Mrs. Weasley seems to be just as entitled, going by Fleur's letter. She calls the two of us family, yet she never tried to completely stop me from going back to the Dursleys year after year even after knowing that I had been starved – "
"WHAT?!"
Hermione's shocked cry immediately brought Harry out of his rant, as he whipped around to face her again. She just sat there with her mouth open, not even really paying attention to anything.
No, she didn't just hear that. She couldn't have just heard that. It couldn't be true.
But as much as she didn't want to believe it, her logical mind won out. She focused her vision on Harry again before asking in a very shaky voice, "You mean the Weasleys knew that you were being starved at some point?"
Harry's eyes flicked left and right for a couple of seconds before they widened and locked back onto her. He quietly and sadly said, "Oh, I did just say that out loud, didn't I?"
That made her breathing become even shakier. "So it's true? It's actually true?"
She looked away from him and down at the table, not knowing at all what to do with this information. But then, she closed her eyes, and her head began shaking, as a massive amount of anger began flowing through her.
Beside her, Harry fearfully spoke up. "Hermione – "
She immediately held up her right hand without turning to him, which instantly caused him to go quiet. She then placed her hands on the table, and both automatically clenched as hard as possible into fists. Her wrath was overflowing so much that even her fists began to tremble in rage.
Harry remained silent the entire time that she was trying to get a grip on herself. And after what must have been a full minute of taking long and deep breaths to keep her control, she was able to get just calm enough that she could open her eyes and unclench her hands.
Immediately afterwards, she turned in the seat to face Harry, who very clearly had nothing but terror written all over his expression. While there was still a part of her that wanted to comfort him right now and let him know that she still wasn't leaving his side because of this, her rage was too overwhelming and smothered it down for the moment.
When she finally spoke, it was with a cold and firm tone. "Harry Potter, you will do two things right now. First, you will tell me exactly how many times your relatives starved you over these years and why they did such a thing. And second, you will tell me how and why the Weasleys could know about it."
He fearfully nodded. He seemed to have shrunk in on himself a bit, but as afraid as he was, his gaze still never left her own.
Taking a deep breath, he began speaking. "I guess I'll start by saying that… most of the time in all those years with my relatives, while they never exactly starved me per se, they also never allowed me to eat all that I wanted. My portions were always smaller than theirs."
Hermione couldn't stay quiet. "So they made you go hungry all the time and you're making excuses."
He grimaced a bit. "No, not – not really. Yes, I would generally get hungry more quickly than the rest of them, but it wasn't usually as though I felt like I was constantly hungry."
She fired back, "I'm supposed to believe you on this with just a 'not really,' Harry? Because it sounds to me, and I bet my parents would agree in an instant, that you were being constantly underfed. It's one thing if a parent takes away snacks and junk food as a punishment for something. It's entirely another when every meal you eat is smaller."
He hung his head a bit in shame, appearing to be at a loss for words. She shook her head and pressed on, "Forget this argument for now. I want to hear about the times where even you think that you were starved by them."
He quietly sighed before responding, "Well, there were two specific instances where I was going hungry like that. One in the summer of 1992, and the other in the summer of 1994."
He rubbed the back of his neck for a second. "I'll – I'll start with the later incident, since I think the first is the one that's going to make you the angriest."
Hermione didn't say a word, only crossing her arms over her chest and then raising an eyebrow. He seemed to get the hint and quickly dived into the details.
"So, the summer of 1994. You remember those letters that I sent, where I talked about how my relatives and I were following a diet because my cousin was forced to be on one in order to lose weight?"
Hermione's eyes narrowed as she said, "None of them were ever on a diet at all, were they?"
He replied, "No, the diet was real, and we were all following it." His tone then became much more hesitant. "What I neglected to mention in my letters, though, was that… my portions were still smaller than theirs even while on the diet."
Sadness mixed in with her anger as she quietly asked, "So, without the snacks that we sent to you – "
He interrupted with the worst thing she could hear. "Yes, I would have been starving for that entire time that I was with the Dursleys that summer."
Hermione closed her eyes and lowered her head, trembling in wrath once again. She took about ten seconds to try and breathe deeply before she could look into Harry's eyes again. Fear appeared to have taken hold of him again as he kept quiet.
She said in a low voice, "And you say that whatever took place in 1992 is worse than this?"
He shrunk in on himself before replying, "Because this one will also relate to your condition regarding talking about the Weasleys."
All she said in response was, "Start talking. Now."
He frantically nodded and then followed her command. "First off, you know about the incident where Dobby used magic and ended up getting me a warning from the Ministry about having used underage magic, right?"
She just slowly nodded.
"Well," he timidly said, "my uncle was actually the first one to read that letter. And when he realized the implications, he – "
Harry closed his eyes and grimaced, as though he knew she would explode at what he would say. "He locked me in my room, even having bars installed in my window like it was a prison cell. I was only allowed out twice a day to use the bathroom. A cat-flap was fitted in the door so that someone could slide in small amounts of food. And since my uncle had already put a padlock on Hedwig's cage early on in the summer, I couldn't use her to contact anyone else. That went on for three full days, and by that point, I was already starving to the degree that I wasn't even sure if I would survive the few weeks until the school year began. It was compounded by how I had to share what little food I got with Hedwig, because she otherwise wouldn't have gotten anything at all."
At that point, Hermione turned away from Harry and gripped the edge of the table with both hands so tightly that her knuckles turned white. After closing her eyes because she was beginning to feel tears building up, she haltingly questioned him. "How did you end up at the Burrow? One of the Weasleys must have gotten you. No one ever told me exactly how you came to stay there for the rest of that summer, and I didn't think to ask because I never thought things would be this horrible for you."
She heard Harry take another deep breath before he responded. "You remember the Ford Anglia that the Weasleys had? The one that Ron and I flew to Hogwarts when we couldn't get onto Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters because of Dobby trying to prevent me from going to Hogwarts?"
Without turning her head or even opening her eyes, she just gave a jerky nod.
He continued, even more hesitantly than when he revealed having been locked up. "On the third night that I was locked in my room, Ron and the twins showed up outside my window in that car. They used the car to pull the bars off the window, and the twins helped me pick the lock on my old cupboard so I could get my school trunk. And though my uncle tried to stop us, we were able to escape, and Fred flew the car back to the Burrow."
It was like a glass in her mind just shattered into a million pieces, when Hermione opened her eyes as widely as possible after this new revelation. She started shaking again, unsure of just how much more of this she could take.
Harry's next words indicated that he knew how near the edge she was. "As much as I know how close you probably are to exploding, I also know that you'll ask about this if I don't tell you, so… Mrs. Weasley was up when we arrived at the Burrow, and she was furious with Fred, George, and Ron about taking and flying the car. She even mentioned that she and Arthur would have come to get me themselves if I still hadn't written to Ron by a certain day. But when she was making plates of breakfast for us, that – that's when George blurted out that the Dursleys had been starving me. Though I saw Mrs. Weasley's expression soften a bit, she snapped at George to keep his mouth closed while eating. And nothing about it was ever brought up again."
And there it was. There was the reason as to why Harry had blurted out that earlier bit about Mrs. Weasley in his rant.
At that point, Hermione could only chokingly whisper, "They knew. Ron, Fred, George, Mrs. Weasley. They all knew. And you still went back to Privet Drive even then? And I'm only just now learning about this?"
Harry quietly replied, "Well, you know everything that I know about what Dumbledore's plans were. Which means you'll be able to recall the whole bit about my aunt sharing the same blood as my mother being the only thing protecting me from Riddle, as long as I could say that my aunt's home was my home. Though the reasons you brought up in the graveyard about Dumbledore knowingly placing me into an abusive home to help mold me into a sacrifice can't be discounted, as well."
She slammed a fist onto the table, which startled Crookshanks again even though he had long before moved off the table to sit in the opposite seat after Harry previously hit the wall.
Hermione furiously said, "Except after fourth year, Riddle also had your blood flowing through his veins, since you said that he used your blood in the resurrection. So those protections may have been useless by that point, anyway! Or surely, even in our earliest years, a Death Eater could have simply been waiting near the entrance to Platform Nine-and-Three-Quarters and taken you from there, or even just simply killed you right there! There's a whole host of ways that Riddle and the Death Eaters could have gotten around those stupid so-called protections! Which means there was no point in you remaining in a home where you were being hurt more inside the home than outside of it when we were away from Hogwarts!"
She stared down at her fist. Nothing but utter wrath was flowing through every inch of her veins. Then, in a whisper that was more to herself than anything, she coldly said, "I'll kill them. Your relatives themselves, along with everyone who knew about this and let you go back. I'll kill them all."
Harry immediately grabbed her hands with his own and pulled them down to rest on his leg. He frantically replied, "Whoa, Hermione, no! Calm down for a second and think about what exactly you just said!"
She jerked her head to look at him and retorted, "I know exactly what I just said."
He squeezed her hands and then pleaded, "Then think about what we pledged at the church. Leave the past behind and reach forward for the future. Remember how I said I would kill anyone involved if we found out you were ever given potions, but you decided that we didn't need to spend more time thinking about my potion hypothesis because everything surrounding Ron and Ginny from that time was just part of our past? The same principle applies here. Those horrible things that happened are in the past and can never happen again. There's no need for you to do anything."
Hermione loudly said, "But your potion hypothesis was exactly that, just a hypothesis. This time, we know what happened and who was involved!"
Her wrath was gradually starting to be replaced with a desperate sadness as she continued. "Your relatives deserve to pay for what they've done to you! The Weasleys should pay for knowing that you were starved and then completely forgetting about that fact! You didn't deserve anything that happened to you and never should have stayed in that house!"
Her desperation finally overwhelmed her as tears began to fall down her cheeks. And at that point, she choked out, "I don't deserve to be with you like this. I didn't do enough. You're my best friend. I should have done more!"
Harry pulled her into what felt like the tightest hug that he had ever given her. As she buried her head in his shoulder and wrapped her arms around him, she couldn't help continuing to sob out, "I could have visited you. I could have told my parents. I could have pleaded to have you stay with us."
At that point, she tearfully said, "I'm so sorry, Harry" and continued to repeat that phrase as she sobbed into his shoulder.
Eventually, her sobs gradually came to a halt. Once they did, though, she didn't remove her arms from around Harry and kept her head buried in his shoulder. She then felt him squeeze her just a bit tighter somehow.
He finally spoke for the first time since her tears began falling. "You did everything you could with what you knew, Hermione. Never forget, I kept everything that happened at my relatives' house hidden as best I could. And Ron, Fred, and George only got a glimpse due to coming to Privet Drive that night. Otherwise, I would never have actually admitted what happened to anyone."
He began gently rubbing her back with his right hand. "I was an idiot that could have told you more, but I didn't, right?"
Hermione remained silent for a few seconds. Then, though she didn't lift her head from him, she tilted it enough so that her mouth wasn't muffled as she whispered, "I suppose that you're right about how you could have said more. But you're not an idiot."
He said with a bit of lightness, "We may have to agree to disagree on that subject."
A small smile came to her face. "You're trying to make me feel better by being silly right now."
He replied, "You're right. But is it working even a little bit?"
She finally lifted her head off of his shoulder to look at him. The smile was still on her face as she said, "Yes, a little bit."
He gave a tiny smile in response before gently lowering his forehead down to hers. They both took comfort in the position for a few seconds, before Harry whispered, "Really, Hermione. Please don't blame yourself at all. You did what you could with the information you had."
She sadly looked at him. "I'll try, Harry. But… you still deserved so much better than what you were given."
His emerald eyes glanced away for a couple of seconds, but when they locked back onto her chocolate ones, they were full of affection. "I have better now, right? With you and your parents?"
His question washed a bit of her sadness away as she said, "Well, I certainly like to think so."
He smirked and playfully retorted, "Hmm, perhaps you could use a bit of study time on this particular subject then, Miss Granger." He then became serious again but no less affectionate. "Because I know that I have so much better now. And there's nothing on the planet that could be better than this."
This time, happy tears started rising in Hermione's eyes. And without a word, she leaned her mouth in and deeply kissed him. The kiss lasted for about ten seconds before Hermione finally pulled her mouth away.
When she did, all she could say to him was a quiet but grateful, "Thank you. I needed that support."
He tenderly whispered, "You've been my strong and sturdy rock for so long, Angel. And I want to be the same for you."
She replied, "You already are, Emerald. You already are."
A loving smile was his only response, and a few seconds passed in silent contentment as they separated from the hug. Harry was the one to break the stillness, when he gave a slightly depressed sigh.
"Look," he quietly said, "I won't take back what I blurted out about Mrs. Weasley acting entitled, because I do still believe that now, even after the momentary anger has passed. Still though… as bad as it is that some of the Weasleys knew about such a terrible circumstance and then seemed to forget about it, and even though I'm at a point where I'll probably never be as close to that family as I was before, it's also hard for me to completely ignore the times that they helped me, you know?"
Hermione couldn't help chuckling for a moment before responding, "Just like I told you at the grave of Dumbledore's family, you're better than I'll ever be."
She then became much more serious. "I won't ask you to let go of the good that they did for you. All I ask is that you don't try and make me overlook the bad, because everything you've told me is something that I can never just put in the back of my mind and forget. And I may never again be able to view the twins and Mrs. Weasley the same for knowing such things, while this also worsens Ron even more."
He nodded. "I won't, Hermione. I understand why you would feel that way."
"Thank you," she quietly said.
She then gave her own sigh. "Speaking of Weasleys, Ginny probably realizes at the very least now that I'm in love with you, given the things I said before she drew her wand. So, there's a chance that our relationship won't stay hidden past this train ride."
He shrugged a shoulder and then replied, "I don't know, Hermione. It also sounds like you made her almost literally shit herself when you deflected the hex and took her wand without using your own, and then reminded her that you've actually killed someone."
Hermione couldn't help smiling and then going on a quick tangent. "You know, there was a time where I probably would have chastised your use of language there."
Harry smirked at her. "But you won't now, because you already know that you've been corrupted by spending too much time around me."
A showing of her tongue was her only response, causing him to laugh for a few seconds. When he stopped, however, his eyes glanced down and away, and his overall expression became quite pensive.
Hermione couldn't resist worriedly asking, "What's wrong, Harry?"
His gaze locked onto her. Then, he gravely said, "You really wouldn't care about the possible fallout of being with me? Even if it means that Ginny has told everyone she can about you being in love with me and causes you to deal with rumors and questions from the entire school? Even if it means Rita Skeeter could write articles that are so much worse than all those that you had to endure in fourth year during the Triwizard Tournament?"
She stayed quiet for a few seconds before looking at him with every bit of love and affection that she could muster. Then, she decisively replied, "I would deal with all of that and more, with my head held high. I love you, Harry. I want to be with you. And nothing that anyone else does could ever take that away. All that matters to me is what will make you happy."
What she could only describe as tender astonishment filled his expression. He glanced away again, this time for about ten seconds. When he looked back to her, with the same expression still on his face, he finally whispered, "Forget it, then."
She was momentarily confused but didn't get to say anything, as he added, "Forget the plan. Let's not hide our relationship."
Her eyes widened in surprise, and she asked, "Harry, are you sure? Really, I don't mind keeping things to ourselves if it will make you more comfortable."
He smiled before he reached over and took her hands into his. "That's exactly why I'm saying forget it. I know that you would be willing to do it for my sake. And because of that, I want to be strong for you and not run from it in the face of someone now possibly having suspicions about us."
A sigh left his mouth at that point. "I'm not saying we have to be as sickeningly public with affection as Ron and Lavender were in sixth year. But in a way, I'm denying the two of us happiness, as well as not keeping to the vow I made on Christmas, by being afraid about the opinions and actions of others when both my head and heart know that you've more than proved that you'll never leave my side. So… let's just go with the flow, and whatever may come if people start to question or realize that we're a couple, we'll handle it together."
Hermione fondly smiled at Harry before leaning in to give him a kiss without letting go of his hands, to which he instantly responded. They both pulled their mouths away after a few seconds.
Then, she softly replied, "Yes, we will. The two of us can handle anything together."
His only response was to smile and silently nod.
With that, the conversation seemed to come to an end as he pulled his hands away and then turned to look out the window at the passing view. Hermione made to summon one of her books, but then she stopped, remembering one other Weasley-related matter. Pulling out her beaded handbag, she took Fleur's letter out of it.
She stared at the part that mentioned Ron. And repeatedly reading the words made her flashbacks of the final day of the war continue from where she had previously stopped.
-O-
Hermione didn't have a care at all for anything else happening in the Great Hall, though. The only thing on her mind was that her best friend was alive and here.
Shifting her head to place her mouth as close to Harry's right ear as possible so that he would hear her above the shouting, she said, "You're alive, you're alive."
His mouth moved close to her own ear before he replied, "I am, Hermione. But it's a long story, and you need to go to the hospital wing right now."
"I'm not injured," she retorted, "just tired from using so much energy. I'll be fine with just resting. Please, I need to know."
He quietly sighed before saying, "OK, then I'll say that we need some rest to hopefully give us some breathing room to get away, and we can go to Gryffindor Tower. How's that?"
She just silently nodded, and the celebrating people thankfully let them go when Harry spoke up. Ron was currently being smothered in a hug by his mother when Harry and Hermione looked for him, so the two decided not to interrupt and just slowly made their way to the Gryffindor common room and sat down together in one of the large armchairs. Harry called Kreacher and asked the elf if he wouldn't mind bringing them some sandwiches and water, to which Kreacher immediately and happily did so. Harry and Hermione ate first, with Hermione secretly glad to have this chance to rest even if she wouldn't say anything out loud. Afterwards, Harry began his tale of what happened after he left her and Ron to go to the Forbidden Forest.
Using the Resurrection Stone to see his family. Getting hit with a Killing Curse. Meeting with Dumbledore in some kind of limbo and learning that Harry was no longer a Horcrux. Getting information from Dumbledore that made Harry realize that he could be the current master of the Elder Wand. Choosing to come back and try to finish Voldemort, and then coming to in the forest right afterwards as Voldemort and the Death Eaters were celebrating what they believed to be Harry's death. Covering himself with the Invisibility Cloak in the chaos that started when Neville had killed Nagini. And finally, desperately trying to come to Hermione's aid while still under the Cloak after hearing the small explosion and Bellatrix's words, before she managed to kill the Death Eater herself, and then placing himself between her and Voldemort as he finally revealed his survival.
At the end of his tale, with time having passed into the evening by that point, she couldn't resist tightly wrapping him up in another hug. The action seemed to confuse him, as his arms went around her somewhat awkwardly after a couple of seconds.
She tearfully whispered, "It hurt so much thinking that you were dead, seeing you lying unmoving in Hagrid's arms and on the grass. And it's such a miracle that you're still here."
He replied, "For what it's worth, I'm sorry that I had to hurt you and many others by pretending to be dead."
She shook her head. "You're still alive, Harry. That's all that matters."
They silently hugged for another minute before breaking away. It was a few seconds afterwards that the portrait door swung open, and Ron walked into the common room. He said that he had needed to stay with his family for a while for his mum's sake, but he had wondered at some point where Harry and Hermione had gone upon realizing they disappeared, to which they responded that they just wanted some quiet.
After talking with one another for a few minutes about things really being over, the fate of the Elder Wand soon came into question. Ron sounded quite reluctant when Harry said that he was going to destroy it, but Hermione quietly yet wholeheartedly agreed that it was the right thing to do. But before doing that, Harry pulled out his broken holly wand from his mokeskin pouch and was able to repair it using the Elder Wand, smiling for a second after doing so. Then, he immediately snapped the Elder Wand in two and threw the pieces into the crackling fire.
At that point, having been constantly up and running around since they left Shell Cottage, the three decided to just get some sleep. Before she could go to the girls' dorm, however, Ron stopped Hermione after Harry had climbed the stairs to the boys' dorm.
He said, with what sounded like a bit of hope in his voice, "So, with what happened between us after Harry came back from destroying the cup in the Chamber of Secrets… so, would you want to – "
She had known from the first part of his statement that he was talking about that sudden kiss she'd given him, and that he most likely wanted to talk about whether they were now in a romantic relationship or could try one. Or even possibly whether she wanted to sleep next to him tonight. But Hermione couldn't deal with this right now.
"Ron, not tonight," she bluntly interrupted. "I'm too exhausted to talk right now."
"Oh," he awkwardly said. "OK. Well… good night, then."
She just nodded and left before anything else could happen.
Upon finding a bed with no trunk to indicate it was occupied, Hermione just sat down on it, crossing her legs and staring at the floor. There were things that needed pondering right now.
Yes, she had kissed Ron. It happened once the trio had reunited after she and Ron had gone to investigate and locate the diadem while Harry, on Hermione's realization, had gone to the Chamber of Secrets to see if the basilisk was still down there and if the fangs could be used to destroy the cup Horcrux, about which she had luckily been right on both counts. Ron made a comment about telling the house-elves to leave and that they couldn't order the elves to die for them. And without thinking, she launched herself at him and kissed him full on the lips, continuing until Harry rightfully interrupted a few seconds later with the fact that they still had war business to finish.
Now able to look at it more logically, it seemed like the smallest gesture of goodwill that Ron could have possibly made towards the elves. Obviously, they couldn't order the elves to die for them, because that would never even have been a real option in the first place! And his words hardly mattered because none of them ever went to the elves after that point regardless. Ron saying that they could tell the elves to leave didn't even necessarily mean that he cared about their well-being beyond that, since he'd always mocked her efforts to try and help the house-elves in earlier years.
It was an especially small gesture compared to Harry having not only freed Dobby in second year but treating Kreacher nicely as well. Kreacher had even freely led the elves into the final battle while calling Harry the defender of house-elves, all of the elf's own choice.
So, had she only kissed Ron because his gesture towards the elves was so unlike how he'd previously acted that it appeared as though it was the greatest thing in the world? Or did some part of her subconscious think that moment might be the last chance that she would ever have to get a kiss at all? And if neither of those questions were true, then why was she not even the least bit happy that she had an easy chance to be with Ron in a more romantic relationship?
After that final question, one sentence immediately played in her mind.
I'll go with you.
Even now, she couldn't help but start tearing up, and she had to recall that Harry was just in the boys' dormitory before continuing with her train of thought.
She had offered to die with Harry, when he alluded to the fact that he was a Horcrux after having watched those memories he took from Professor Snape. Even having kissed Ron not long beforehand, Hermione had offered to walk with Harry into the forest just so he wouldn't be alone in death. Thinking on it now, her eyes widened before she just laid out everything.
She would rather have died with Harry than lived with Ron. What did that say about their importance? In fact, how could anyone live up to the importance that Harry held to her if she would freely give her own life for him like that?
Hermione shook her head. No one could, that's how. And that thought led to another memory. One from what could be considered one of the lowest points, if not the lowest, of the Horcrux hunt.
"You said it, too, you said you were disappointed… It's all right for you, isn't it, with your parents safely out of the way… I get it. You choose him."
Ron's words, and the scathing jealousy he had exhibited before abandoning her and Harry during the hunt. His earlier sniping in the hunt, where he would make snide comments about how there wasn't enough food or how the food that they had wasn't good enough. The way that he had cruelly talked about her and Harry's parents being safe, even though Harry's parents were dead and her parents possessed modified memories and may never again know that they had a daughter if she couldn't stay alive to find them. And the fact that his leaving marked his second abandonment, after the weeks he had completely ignored Harry out of jealousy for Harry being entered into the Triwizard Tournament.
Was this someone she could even just trust at all, much less keep any kind of friendship with, after his bitter actions? Her answer, though it made her frown, came immediately and with zero hesitation behind it.
No. No, she could never trust someone like that.
Of course, she could see him blaming his actions solely on the locket Horcrux giving him terrible thoughts, but she and Harry had never been so nasty to one another when they wore the locket, even during the times when they were wearing it for longer periods due to Ron's absence. And Ron had already taken the locket off before he forced the choice on her about going with him or staying with Harry. Thus, his actions and choices were still mostly his own.
No, she would never be able to trust Ron again. And now, she wasn't sure if she would be able to keep a semblance of friendship with him after these epiphanies.
Hermione couldn't help the quiet sigh that left her at that point. He was right about one thing, though. She did choose Harry. He was the most important person in her life. Probably no man in the world would want to be with her unless she gave up her close friendship with Harry.
She shook her head, but with a small smile. No, that would never happen if she had any say in the matter. Harry was alive after all of his struggles, and she would do anything she could to stay close with her best friend. She couldn't say that Harry considered her to be his number one best friend, as that honor had always gone to Ron, but she was happy simply being one of them. Hopefully, Harry felt the same about not losing his friendship with her, even if he got back together with Ginny now that Voldemort was dead.
Hermione finally got under the bed covers, one final thought flitting through her mind before sleep took her. Maybe her friendship with Harry would mean that it would be a long time before she would ever have a deep romantic relationship with someone. But she still had her best friend. And as long as she had him in her life, she knew that she would always be alright.
-O-
Hermione was pulled from her mind when Harry said, "You're staring at that letter fairly hard. What's on your mind, Hermione?"
Without shifting her gaze, she responded, "What Fleur said about Ron apparently sending us letters. I can't speak for you, but this is the only letter I've received from any Weasley since Riddle's death. Not to mention how it sounds like Ron wasn't completely truthful about how the three of us were separated during the hunt."
She did, however, turn to Harry when he let out a sigh. She put the letter on the table, but before she could ask what was wrong, he quietly replied, "I did receive some letters from Ron and Ginny separately while I was at Hogwarts after leaving Australia. And it's true that I never responded to them."
Her right hand instinctively sought out and took hold of his left one. He glanced at their hands before giving her a tiny smile.
He then added a bit dejectedly, "And since I'm sure you might be curious… I didn't respond or even want to respond to their letters, and would have done the same for nearly everyone else if they had sent a letter, because the only person I ever wanted to hear from was you, so that I could be sure that I hadn't buggered up our friendship."
Her expression became sad yet sympathetic before she said, "I'm sorry once again that it took me so long to contact and come back to you."
He shook his head and tenderly responded, "Don't be, Hermione. It was never your fault. All that matters is that you came back, and we're here together now."
Smiling at his response, she couldn't help pulling his hand up and then giving it a gentle, one-second kiss. That caused him to smile in return.
Getting back on topic, though, she asked, "So, how much do you want us to say in our response to Fleur?"
Harry blinked rapidly for a second. "So you would want it to be from both of us?"
Hermione nodded. "Well, you said it yourself. She's earned it. And this would give me a chance to apologize to her for how badly I felt about her in fourth and sixth year, even though she had warmed up much more to you when you rescued her sister in the second task of the Triwizard Tournament."
The left side of Harry's mouth slightly lifted in a thoughtful smile. Quickly becoming serious again, though, he replied, "I guess… we thank her for not only the information in her letter but also for her actions to help us last year. We can say that she's right about us needing time to ourselves, but also that you never actually received any letters from Ron. Whether or not anyone believes it is another story, but we can still say it. You could throw your apology in, if that's something you truly want to do. And… maybe we could tell her that the two of us are together, having started our new relationship while I was staying with you for the holidays. It sounds like she would be happy for us, given that paragraph she wrote about what happened at the wedding."
He took a deep breath for a second before asking, "How does all that sound?"
"Yes," she answered, "that seems like a good summary of points."
He nodded at her agreement. His next words, though, were much more hesitant. "What about Ron and Ginny? Like you said, it seems that Ron didn't tell the whole story about getting separated from us. And then there's Ginny trying to hex you a little while ago on top of her not mentioning her part in what happened between her and us. Do you want to say anything about any of that to Fleur?"
Her expression grew firm as she looked back to the letter, remaining silent for about five seconds. Then, she said to Harry, "Imagine if we did, and Fleur tells the rest of the Weasleys our side of the story. And then, we end up receiving a Howler or getting cut off for good from the Weasleys because they believe us to be liars. Would you care?"
His response was quiet but resolute. "As long as I'm still with you, that's all that matters."
She couldn't help smiling tenderly for a few seconds at his words. Then, her expression and grin became much more devilish as she replied, "Then we can tell Fleur what happened and let her do with it what she pleases. And if she decides to tell the others about our information, and it causes a little chaos, well that would just be a shame, wouldn't it."
Harry raised an eyebrow slightly. "You're enjoying how this could be sort of a payback against some of the Weasleys, aren't you?"
Hermione made her expression to be overly innocent before sweetly saying, "Whatever would give you that idea?" Then, she laced a hint of steel into that sweetness and added, "And don't think I've forgotten about your relatives in all of this. I'm going to make sure that they get their punishment later as well, one way or another."
He shook his head and said, though with a bit of lightness in his tone, "You are scary sometimes, you know that?"
She instantly became more serious before quietly replying, "Only when people hurt you, Harry."
The soft look appeared in his eyes before he gave her hand a squeeze. Then, he whispered, "All I'll ask regarding my relatives is that… just try not to do anything that will get you imprisoned. I can't give you that long and happy life together that you want if you're not actually around, you know?"
She quietly yet determinedly replied, "I promise that I won't get caught with however I decide to handle your relatives."
He gave a soft, amused snort. "Well, it may not be quite what I was hoping for, but I understand why you wouldn't be able to promise more regarding them."
She just gave him a small smile at that. Then, she said, "Getting back on topic, we have a summary of points to say to Fleur. We can work out the exact details later once we start writing. And maybe we could work on it in the common room tonight."
"That works for me," he replied, as he pulled his hand out of her grasp.
After that, the two settled into a comfortable silence. Hermione decided to summon her Arithmancy textbook in order to do some reviewing. Surprisingly, Harry fell asleep soon afterwards, similarly to the journey away from Hogwarts. This time, though, his head ended up falling onto her shoulder. It was adorable enough that she couldn't resist the smile that stayed on her face as she continued reading. He remained that way for a few hours before waking on his own. The sheepish blush on his face when he realized what had happened brought forth giggles out of her.
All too soon, the Hogwarts Express began to slow down as it reached Hogsmeade Station, and the two of them would need to supervise as people left the train. Harry held onto Crookshanks while Hermione would give directions or talk with people as they needed it. And with one last check of the train once it seemed like everyone had left, Hermione took hold of her cat, and she and Harry disembarked from the Hogwarts Express.
Storm clouds had brewed overhead, and the carriages had their tops up in case the weather did turn rotten. As Harry and Hermione began to quickly walk to the last few carriages, of which Hermione had been able to see the thestrals pulling them since the end of the war thanks to her killing of Bellatrix Lestrange, they were surprised when a male voice called out, "Hermione! Harry!"
Looking in the direction of the voice, they saw Neville and Luna standing by a carriage. Luna waved at them, while Neville held up his hand for a second before gesturing for them to walk there.
Once the two Head students reached the carriage, Neville became a bit sheepish and said, "Luna and I were waiting for you. We were hoping that maybe you wouldn't mind riding with us?"
Hermione didn't mind at all, but she immediately looked to Harry. She would only do that which he was comfortable doing.
His gaze locked onto her, and he remained silent for a couple of seconds. But then, he whispered, "Yeah, I'm OK with it."
She couldn't help giving him a tiny smile for an instant before she turned back to Neville and Luna. Then, she said, "Yes, that would be great. And thank you both."
They climbed one by one into the carriage, Neville and Luna sitting on one side while Harry and Hermione sat on the other. Hermione let Crookshanks free for the moment, but the cat simply curled up in her lap.
When the carriage began moving, though, Neville said a bit grimly, "Look. There is something that Luna and I wanted to say to just the two of you."
Hermione looked at Harry again and could see the tension in his expression. She turned away a bit fearfully, wondering what was about to happen.
Neville continued, "First, did you tell Harry what happened after he left, Hermione?"
She merely replied, "He knows all of it, yes."
"OK," Neville said. "With that then, it's clear that both of you have your personal reasons for maybe not wanting to be friends with Ginny now. And while Luna and I can definitely understand your reasons, we also probably won't completely give up on remaining friends with her since we don't have that same underlying animosity. Though we do think, and told Ginny as much, that she was in the wrong for trying to attack you, Hermione."
At that point, Harry coldly and bluntly replied, "Neville, just get to the point."
This was something of which Hermione was afraid. It sounded as though she and Harry were about to hear that they were going to surely lose any semblance of friendship with two more people.
But she found out just how wrong she was when Luna responded. "Our point is, we both still consider you great friends, and we don't wish to lose our friendship with you."
Neville nodded and said, "Exactly. You guys and Ginny not being friends doesn't necessarily mean that we have to choose to only be friends with one side."
Hermione had to say at that point, "No, Harry and I would never force that kind of choice on you."
Neville quickly said, "No, we weren't saying you would! We just want to say that… you both have been and still are our friends, and that won't change in light of what happened today."
Luna then looked directly at Harry. And in her serene voice, she added, "And if there are still certain boundaries that either of you wish to keep, then Neville and I shall respect those. But if ever the day should come that you would like to talk about something, we will always listen and be there for you."
An appreciative smile rose on Hermione's face as she looked at Neville and Luna. The two of them were certainly more than worthy to call friends, especially in light of how closed-off Harry had been to them and everyone else.
At that moment, however, Harry spoke again. "Then, there's something that I need to say in response."
She looked a bit fearfully at him, unsure of just what he was going to say. He seemed to sense her gaze and looked to her in response. His expression was mostly blank, but then, for just an instant, she saw what appeared to be a pleading look in his eyes that disappeared just as quickly.
All she could think was that he was silently asking for her trust. And while she still worried a bit about what may come, it could never break her faith in him. Thus, she gave him the barest of nods in response. She saw a minuscule twitch upward of his lips, and that told her she made the right decision, as he faced Neville and Luna again.
But then, a bit of sadness grew in his eyes, and the remorse was clear in his tone when he spoke. "I know that I've been a right pain to be around this year. I've been harsh with any and every person that would ask the smallest question that wasn't related to academics, even the people that were my friends. And frankly, if I had completely lost all of my friendships, it would have been deserved. So, to hear that you two both want to remain friends with me, even with everything I've done this year, that – it means a lot to hear that. And I want to apologize for being so cold and harsh to you both. After what you both said just now, I can't let things stand without giving you at least that much."
Harry finally grew quiet at that point, and the silence reigned for a few seconds.
But then, Luna was the first to respond, doing so with a smile on her face. "Yes, of course we accept your apology, Harry."
Neville jumped in, "Yeah, Harry, it's no problem. You not only had it worse than all the rest of us when it came to Voldemort and the war, but you also had to deal with it all for much longer, too. I can understand not wanting to deal with people possibly asking questions that you don't want to answer."
Harry gave them both a tiny smile for a second and said, "Thanks, you two. Like I said, that means a lot."
Neville and Luna smiled and nodded at him. Then, Neville asked, "If you don't mind this question, Harry, what made you willing to answer Luna's question at the train compartment, as well as want to make that apology?"
Hermione could see Harry's eyes shift to the side in her direction, before Harry quietly answered, "Because Hermione refused to give up on asking about what was troubling me, and showed me that trying to drive everyone away wasn't really helping me."
She couldn't help smiling at the answer, even if he wasn't looking towards her.
Her gaze turned to Luna when the younger girl spoke. "Then perhaps we should thank you for your part, Hermione. It seems you were able to drive away quite a number of Wrackspurts."
Harry let out a quiet but amused snort before replying, "That's an understatement."
But then, he sighed and said with some remorse, "Now, I do have to say this. I can't guarantee that I'll just immediately open up about every single thing, and I still would rather not deal with questions from anyone not in this carriage. But for you two, I don't want to be harsh with you any longer. And if you think I'm being a prat about anything you may ask, please don't hesitate to tell me."
Neville replied, "Hey, like Luna said, we'll respect whatever boundaries you want, and we'll simply be there if you do ever want to open up."
Luna agreed, "Yes, we will."
Harry just smiled and replied, "Thanks again."
Neville then looked out the carriage window at their surroundings for a second. Turning back to Harry and Hermione, he said, "I don't think we're too far from the castle, since these carriage rides were never that long. So, would you two be willing to answer one more question we have?"
Hermione shifted her gaze to Harry, and he did the same to her. Before she could ask anything, he whispered, "I'm willing if you are."
She smiled again for a second. It was utterly joyful to see him making so much progress with his healing that he didn't mind taking questions. Thus, she nodded and then said, "Yes, go ahead, Neville."
Neville nodded and took a deep breath before continuing. "OK, so a couple of things for background. First, Luna told me how she had noticed you, Harry, sort of quietly laugh for just an instant when Hermione said that she enjoyed the challenge of learning, and it tickled Luna's suspicions since it was the first time that she could recall seeing anything except tension or anger from you this year. And then, after both of you were gone, Ginny talked about how you, Hermione, must have been in love with Harry after the things that you said to her."
He grew much more hesitant before finally speaking the question that Hermione was expecting. "So, this question may be a gigantic leap of logic, but are you two… actually together?"
Hermione kept her expression as neutral as possible. Neville's information confirmed her instinct regarding Luna glancing at Harry after that quiet snort he gave, though Hermione wasn't sure whether she was happy about that fact. She knew what she and Harry had talked about, but was he truly ready to reveal their romantic relationship, even if the reveal was only to Neville and Luna?
But then, she turned to Harry when she surprisingly heard him snort again. His eyes locked onto hers, and she was a bit shocked to see affection openly begin to fill them. And to her great astonishment, he glanced to her left hand before reaching over and gently taking it into his right one.
Though keeping his gaze directly on her, his words were directed to Neville and Luna when he said, with a small smile on his face, "Yeah, Neville… we are."
Tenderness filled her own expression, as she continued staring at Harry and completely missed the huge smiles that grew on the faces of Neville and Luna. She whispered a bit tearfully, "You really don't mind being open about us?"
His smile grew a bit. "Like you said, we can handle anything together."
Hermione couldn't remain still. She let go of Harry's hand before picking up Crookshanks and putting him in the seat. Then, she shifted as close to Harry as possible and gave him a crushing embrace. His arms wrapped around her a moment later. The two would have most likely remained as such until the carriage stopped, if not for the fact that they weren't alone.
They pulled back only enough so that they could turn their heads when Neville exclaimed, "Well congratulations then, you two!"
Luna added, "Yes indeed, that's wonderful to hear!"
Harry and Hermione turned their bodies to face the others but still kept one arm wrapped around each other. Hermione then happily replied, "Thank you both."
Harry simply nodded at first. But then, he responded more seriously, "I have to ask. You said Ginny suspects that Hermione is in love with me. But does she suspect anything about Hermione and me actually being together?"
Neville shook his head. "Ginny does believe that Hermione is in love with you, Harry. But she never talked about having any suspicions beyond that."
Luna interjected at that point. "I also did not tell her about my own sneaking suspicion, since I believed that you two would not like that after your interactions with her."
She then looked to Hermione. "In fact, Ginny actually said that maybe nothing would come from you having feelings for Harry, due to the distant manner in which Harry has acted towards everyone. Though she also grew very afraid again as she was speaking on it, so it appears that you certainly gave her a fright."
Hermione let out a quiet scoff. "Well hopefully, she continues to remember that terror going forward."
Neville gave a tiny smirk and shook his head for a second. He then said, "You can certainly be scary when you want to, Hermione."
Harry quietly but seriously said, "She can. But it's one of the many things that I love about her."
Hermione couldn't help lovingly smiling at him again. He turned to her and then responded with a smile of his own.
They turned back when Neville asked, "So, one more question if you don't mind. Long story short, how did you two get together, and how long has it been?"
Hermione answered, "I convinced Harry to stay with me and my parents over the holiday break. I had originally only wanted to do it to give him even just a temporary time of happiness, having only realized my true feelings a few days beforehand anyway. But events happened in such a way that I confessed my feelings on the twenty-second of December, and Harry was willing to take our relationship beyond friendship. So, we've officially been together for just ten days. Though frankly, with the way our friendship was, there's an argument to be made that we were unofficially together long before then even if we just hadn't realized it."
Her next words were somewhat glum. "Maybe I never would have wasted time on Ron if I had been completely honest with myself and just had the courage to take a chance in earlier years."
She felt Harry's arm squeeze her just a bit tighter. She looked to him with a tiny smile, knowing that he was trying to comfort her.
At that point, Luna quietly said, "You are together now, and that is all that matters, right?"
The combination of Luna's words and the naturally serene tone of her voice actually helped in soothing Hermione. Thus, she replied, "Yes, Luna. That is all that matters."
Neville and Luna both smiled at that. But at that moment, the carriage began to slow down before finally coming to a halt a few seconds later.
Before anyone could move, Neville quickly said, "Listen, Luna and I won't tell anyone about you two being together now. That's your information to reveal as you see fit."
The blonde Ravenclaw silently nodded her agreement.
As Harry and Hermione let go of one another, Harry replied, "Thanks, guys. You don't have to do that, but it means a lot that you're willing to do so anyway."
Hermione added, "I agree. And thank you both for being such good friends."
That caused Neville and Luna to smile again. And with that, the group finally exited the carriage, with Hermione scooping up Crookshanks.
Everything seemed to be like normal being back at Hogwarts after leaving for the holidays, with students going to their common rooms and dormitories to check on their belongings first before it was time for dinner in the Great Hall. The entire time, no one else ever asked the Head students about their relationship, so they both assumed that Ginny either truly didn't have suspicions or simply was smart enough to remain quiet so that she wouldn't stoke Hermione's wrath again. Of course, neither one of them showed any public displays of affection yet either, so it was a flip of a coin as to what would happen once someone would see any such affections.
Dinner that evening was the first chance for Harry and Hermione to try out her potion-detecting spells in front of a crowd. They had gotten proficient enough in their practice at home that a positive result would appear immediately when they performed the complete wandless casting. Thus, they merely had to hover their hand over the plate for an instant while holding a utensil when testing the food, or simply keep their hand on their goblet when it came to the beverage. Nothing showed as positive, but they weren't expecting any such results. The more important result was that they had been subtle and discrete enough that no one ever realized they had tested their food and drink for potions.
Afterwards, the two ate heartily but also quickly enough that they were some of the first students to leave dinner. They had whispered to one another during the meal about pretending to study in the common room but really working on their response to Fleur. Upon arriving at the common room, they each grabbed a book and sat down at a table before Hermione pulled out her quill and parchment. She did the writing while the two of them would discuss what exact details and words she would write. And throughout the evening, students came through the common room but never bothered them, so the plan about pretending to study at least seemed to work.
Near ten o'clock, they finally reached the end of their response to Fleur, having written in all the summarized points that Harry had mentioned but simply with more details. Hermione had spared no expense in providing information to Fleur in the section about Ron's leaving during the hunt, as well as Ginny's forceful questions towards Harry from early in the school year and her attack on Hermione from that day. Hermione and Harry also agreed to say in the letter that Fleur could do what she wished with this information, but the information they were providing was the truth of the matter.
Once they were finished, Hermione placed the letter in her beaded handbag, with her and Harry agreeing to wait until the morning to send it off. Looking around, the common room was already empty, so the two decided to call it a night as well, considering they were both early risers.
Gathering their books and standing from the chairs, neither could help the expressions of great reluctance and regret in their eyes as they gazed at one another.
Harry was the first to speak. "I wish we didn't have to separate at night again."
Hermione sympathetically replied, "I know, Harry. I feel the same. But it's just for a few months. And we could always go home for the Easter holidays, you know."
A tiny smile appeared on his face for an instant. "Yeah, you're right on both counts. Still, I'll miss you. It was wonderful to wake with you every morning."
She smiled in return. "Yes, it certainly was for me with you, as well."
Then, she stepped closer to Harry and then gave him a soft kiss for two seconds. When she pulled away, she looked at him with all her affection and whispered, "Sleep well, Harry, my Emerald."
His expression became completely tender before he quietly replied, "You too, Hermione, my Angel."
With that, they slowly walked up their separate sets of stairs.
Hermione couldn't help sighing in her mind as she dressed for bed and got under her covers. No, she could hardly bear to separate from Harry at night now. In fact, a plan was already beginning to take shape in her mind for a way that they could be together. He would never be able to come up to her dormitory, but she could certainly go to his.
She shook her head. No, she had to resist. She couldn't be selfish and get them both in massive trouble, especially being Head students. No, she would only follow through on her plan if Harry once again had dreams that he couldn't handle without her being next to him.
A quiet sigh left her before she closed her eyes. Whatever happened in these next few months, and however it would need handling, she still had faith that she and Harry would be able to weather through it all together to get back to their own little slice of paradise again.
A/N: Alright, a few points...
So first off, the part about the Weasleys knowing about Harry being starved but forgetting/never bringing it up again comes straight out of the books. The bit with George and Molly happens in CoS exactly like I said it does in this chapter, and I never saw any mention of it get brought up later in that book or in any other books. Along with that, I never saw any place where Hermione found out what happened to Harry or even just how Ron and the twins got him away from Privet Drive. All of that adds up to a very weird situation and some fridge horror.
Second, yes, I did switch the order of who went to the Chamber of Secrets, because I hate the "Parseltongue Ron" situation that JKR pulled from out of nowhere. For one, there was never anything to indicate that Parseltongue could ever be imitated. Even if one could somehow get me to believe that it could, the bit in DH where Ron shows it off to Harry even specifically notes that he "made a horrible strangled hissing noise." Harry has always understood Parseltongue as perfect English whenever the language is used. I'm supposed to then believe that Ron not only opened the sink hiding the Chamber of Secrets but then also opened the actual door to the Chamber of Secrets with that, when even Harry couldn't understand an actual word in that garbled mess of a Parseltongue imitation? No, I hated that bit when reading the seventh book at release (and I never even gave a damn about any kind of shipping back then as well), I still hate it now, and I always believed that it should have been Harry going to the Chamber of Secrets to check the basilisk because he can actually speak Parseltongue.
On a lighter note, another small flashback offered some more insight as to how the mention in Chapter 1 of Hermione no longer trusting Ron came to be. It may be a bit of filler, but it also gave a chance to actually delve more into that kiss from DH as well as show Hermione's thought process regarding the matter.
If you made it this far, thank you so much for reading, and I hope you stay tuned for more!
