DISCLAIMER – I do not own Stargate: Atlantis. It is the property of MGM/UA and associated companies. I just happen to like playing with it, but I promise I'll put it back in one piece when I'm done! I'm writing this story for fun and entertainment, not for profit. The exchange of money is not involved in any way.

RATING – Story rated T

SPOILERS – Anything up to the end of Season 2 is fair game.

A/N – Again, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who left me comments on the last chapter. Reefgirl & NenyaVilyaNenya, your consistency in replying is awesome! Also, flubber, thanks very much for your insightful PM. I sent you a reply to it already. Anyway, I hope everyone who's reading is still enjoying this. I'm still having fun with it.

Anything in «double-angle quotation marks» represents something written in Ancient.

Still no beta. Blame me for any mistakes.


The Song Of Silent Rivers

12. Discernment

"This is remarkable," Elizabeth said. "It's really amazing."

Elizabeth was sitting at a table in the mess hall with Carson and Shadow. She was looking at the pictures Shadow had made of various plants and animals on her homeworld. Shadow had written something next to each picture, usually a warning about the real-life danger presented by the things she'd drawn. Shadow had explained she wasn't finished making pictures, yet. Elizabeth wondered how many hidden perils there were on Shadow's world.

Elizabeth and Shadow had started their conversation that afternoon in Elizabeth's office. Elizabeth was surprised when Carson had showed up with the deaf woman and had explained that Shadow insisted on seeing her. Shadow wanted to ask about zero point modules, of all things. Elizabeth was sorry she couldn't explain the ZPM as well as the scientists could have. Evidently, Shadow had wanted to know more about it than what it looked like and what it was for. She actually wanted to know how it worked. Shadow would have to ask Rodney for that information, but as it turned out, Shadow didn't care to ask Rodney anything. 'Answer Man' was a funny person, Shadow had been quick to point out; a big child, a playmate. How could he know about important things like zero point modules?

Rodney would be incensed if he knew what Shadow thought of him. Elizabeth could just imagine the Canadian scientist's face if he ever found out Shadow considered him no more intelligent or mature than a child. Of course, Rodney did tend to behave like a kid, so maybe it was an honest mistake on Shadow's part. Elizabeth had decided on the spot, that was the explanation she'd go with, if anyone wanted to know. Most of the time, diplomacy was all about putting a spin on things.

«Ask the River Man about zero point modules,» Elizabeth had told Shadow. She'd previously learned this was how Shadow referred to Radek. «He understands machines.»

«He understands much. He is very wise,» Shadow had replied.

The look on the deaf woman's face when she'd written that particular statement had been difficult to interpret, but Elizabeth fancied she saw something more than admiration in Shadow's eyes.

At some point, Shadow had stopped asking questions of Elizabeth, and had announced to Carson that it was time to eat. Carson had laughed at that. Apparently, in Shadow's quality world, any time was a good time to eat, especially if there were new, alien foods for her to try. She never seemed to consume very much at a time, which might have explained why she liked to eat so frequently, Carson had said. He thought the pattern was probably consistent with the way she'd been living on her world, eating what she wanted, when she wanted, with no discernible routine.

What Shadow wanted right now was blue Jell-o. She seemed unconcerned by the fact that Elizabeth was still looking at her pictures, and impatient with Carson for trying to coax her into finishing her sandwich before eating dessert.

"'Remarkable' must be the word of the week," Carson said.

"I can't think of another word to describe this," said Elizabeth. She touched Shadow's picture of a forest cat. "It's so detailed. it looks like it could leap off the page. All of these drawings are just…remarkable. I'd really like to see one of these creatures in real life, wouldn't you?"

"Aye, from a distance, perhaps," Carson said. He smiled. "I wouldn't be detecting an adventurous streak in you, would I, Dr. Weir?"

"We wouldn't be out here if we didn't all have an adventurous streak in us," Elizabeth said. "If we weren't adventurous, we wouldn't be explorers. We'd never get to see anything really interesting."

"Do you think man-eating forest cats are interesting, then?"

"From a distance," said Elizabeth.

She was rewarded with a laugh from Carson. "I think you and Shadow must have a lot in common. She's a great one for exploring the unknown, too, and I expect she'd agree with you about the forest cats."

Elizabeth watched Shadow eating her Jell-o. At the moment, the deaf woman looked less like an interstellar explorer and more like a mischievous child. Shadow picked up the little cubes of Jell-o in her fingers and peered curiously at each cube before popping it into her mouth. When she noticed she was being watched, she offered one the blue cubes to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth accepted the Jell-o and, ignoring any misgivings she might have had, ate it before it melted in her hand. Shadow was delighted. She reached across the table and reclaimed her notebook.

«It is like eating the sky,» she wrote. «We can imagine it is night when we have eaten it all.»

«Shadow, are we playing a game?» Elizabeth asked.

«Yes. Do you understand games, Leader?»

«Yes.»

«You have lived for many seasons,» Shadow wrote. «My people do not understand games when they have lived for so many seasons. You are different.»

«We are different,» Elizabeth acknowledged.

«I am different also. My people did not understand me.»

«Why?»

«My knowledge,» Shadow told her. «Only my father and the Elders understood. Now, the Healer and the River Man understand.»

«May I show your words to the Healer now?» Elizabeth wrote.

Shadow seemed to think it over before she composed her answer. «You may show him.»

While Shadow played with her Jell-o and pulled the crust off her sandwich, Elizabeth explained to Carson what the written conversation had been about. She asked Carson, "What sort of knowledge do you think she means?"

"She might be talking about the gene," Carson said. "That'd certainly clear up some of the questions I've got. If only her father and the Elders know about her 'knowledge', it's probably safe to say the ATA gene is just as rare among her people as it is with us. I expect Shadow is a particularly gifted person among her people."

"I have the feeling Shadow's people might not see that gift in the same light as we do," Elizabeth said.

"What makes you say that?"

"If having the gene makes her special among her people, why wouldn't they all know about it? What reason would there be for restricting the knowledge among only a few individuals?"

"Perhaps the Elders believed the other villagers wouldn't understand it. Maybe they thought it'd be too hard to explain. She did say only her father and the Elders understood."

"Yes," Elizabeth said. "And a natural reaction to something we don't understand is—"

"Fear," Carson said.

"Fear," Elizabeth echoed. "Carson, I think Shadow's people are afraid of her."

Elizabeth followed Carson's gaze as he looked at Shadow. She had disassembled her sandwich and was happily eating the bread. She swung her feet under the table, blithely unaware of the sound she created when her heels made contact with the legs of her chair. Elizabeth imagined she saw a carefree child in the body of a young woman. It was a mystery how anyone could be afraid of Shadow, unless they happened to be afraid of children.

Elizabeth grimaced inwardly when that notion crossed her mind. A few days ago, hadn't she herself been afraid of Shadow? She'd been ready to take Rodney's suggestion that Shadow should be kept confined, but that was before she understood. The implications of that made a chill run the length of Elizabeth's spine. If the people of Shadow's village had reacted the same way Elizabeth had, what must the young woman's life have been like on her homeworld? Elizabeth didn't want to think about it.

Elizabeth was drawn out of her contemplation by a light tap on her hand. Shadow was trying to get her attention, attempting to show her a message.

«Leader, will you play another game?»

«Yes,» Elizabeth agreed. «Which game shall we play, Shadow?»

«Hide and seek,» was the reply.

Elizabeth glanced at Carson and raised her eyebrows. "She wants to play hide and seek. Did you teach her that?"

"No," Carson said. "She knew that game long before she ever met any of us."

"Really? That's remark—" Elizabeth began to say, but the sentence ended abruptly in a gasp when Shadow suddenly vanished. "Where did she go?"

"She's still here…I think."

"What do you mean, 'you think'?"

"Oh dear," Carson said. He shook his head. "Shadow's got a neat ability to make herself disappear. I knew there was some wee detail I'd forgotten to mention to you."

"What are we supposed to do now?"

"Find her, of course," Carson said. "The lass did say she wanted to play hide and seek."

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Shadow was sorry she had misjudged the Leader when they'd first met. She was glad they understood each other now, because the Leader could communicate with her better than anyone else she'd met in this strange place so far. The Leader understood many things, and she turned out to be very good at playing games. Shadow was a little disappointed the Leader had not been able to explain the mysterious zero point module. The Leader had said River Man would know all about it, and Shadow ought to ask him. Shadow wondered why the zero point module was so important to these people. They wanted to find one, and they thought there might be one on her world. Shadow understood the device generated power, but she could not comprehend why the Leader and her people needed any more power than they already had. Everything in the city functioned. Even the machines that were not of the Ancestors' design appeared to work well, though Shadow could not be entirely sure what their true function was. Perhaps she would ask River Man about that, too.

When the Leader and the Healer tired of playing games with her, Shadow left them and went to explore the city on her own. Now that she wasn't running, she took the time to observe her surroundings more carefully. She found her way outside, and watched the sky and the sea until the sun went down and the stars appeared. The stars did not look quite the same over this world as they did above hers. It felt strange to be standing in this treeless place. The sea was beautiful, but Shadow missed her river and her trees, and she was cold.

The Leader had said they would go to her world tomorrow. Shadow would be happy to return there with her new friends. She would show them the hidden place of the Ancestors. Maybe they would find the zero point module, and Shadow would finally see how it worked.

Shadow began to shiver when a breeze from the sea blew across her face. The air was salty and wet, like tears, except tears would not have been so cold. She went inside again, and hurried to the place where the Healer did his work. It would be warmer there.

She found River Man still resting in his bed when she arrived at the Healer's place. River Man was reading a book. The book's cover was printed with symbols Shadow did not recognize. He seemed very interested in what was inside the book, and Shadow wanted to know what could hold his attention so firmly. She climbed up beside him. He was warm, and she was very cold, so she nestled against his side.

He gave her a startled look, and she felt the vibration of his voice when he spoke to her. She hadn't meant to startle him. She'd only been curious about his book. She peered at the pages, but only saw more of the strange symbols. She frowned.

River Man closed the book and placed it in his lap. He held out one hand and pretended to write on his palm with the forefinger of his other hand. Shadow understood. He wanted to talk with her. She knew where to find paper and a writing instrument. She slid down from the bed and went to fetch them. A minute later, she was settled comfortably beside River Man again.

«It is called 'War and Peace',» River Man wrote. He touched the book on his lap.

«Is it about the Ancestors and the Wraith?» Shadow wanted to know.

River Man laughed. Shadow loved that she could feel his laughter when she leaned close. She loved his smile, too. When River Man smiled at her, Shadow felt an odd fluttering in her chest, like the wings of a hundred tiny birds.

He accepted the writing instrument from her and wrote, «No, it is not about the Wraith. It is a story from my world.»

«Is this not your world?»

«No. My world is called Earth. It is in a galaxy far away.»

«Some day, I would like to see your world,» Shadow wrote. «Tomorrow, the Leader says we are going to my world. Will you come with me?»

«I am sorry. I cannot come with you.»

Shadow thought he seemed sad when he told her that. He must have been thinking about what had taken place the first time he'd been on her world. She wanted to reassure him things would be different this time. She would be there to help him. She wouldn't let anything happen to him.

«I want to show you my world,» she told him. «Are you afraid of the river? I will keep you safe.»

«Yes, I am afraid of the river, but that is not the reason I cannot come with you,» he replied

«What is the reason?» she asked.

«You are leaving tomorrow. I am not well enough to go with you.»

«We will wait,» Shadow wrote

«No.»

«Yes,» Shadow insisted. «We will wait until you are well. Your people will not go without me. I will tell the Leader I will not go without you.»

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

Radek lay awake long after Shadow had fallen asleep beside him. He had tried his best to explain why he couldn't come with her to her planet. There were so many reasons, he couldn't even begin to list them all. The most obvious reason was that Elizabeth would probably refuse to let him go, even if he asked. Of course, he couldn't go offworld tomorrow. Carson would never permit that. Radek didn't think he was feeling up to another offworld adventure just yet, anyway.

All Shadow's arguments were moot, though Radek had been unable to prevent her from making them. He hadn't had much success in convincing Shadow of anything tonight. He couldn't even talk her into sleeping in her own bed. Radek imagined Carson would be displeased when he found Shadow sleeping next to him, but what could Radek do? There were some debates he just could not win.

Arguing with Shadow about the merits of sleeping in separate beds had been an exercise in ineffectuality. She didn't understand why he wanted her to sleep somewhere else. She was cold. Shouldn't she be permitted to sleep in a warm place? Yes, but that is not the point, he'd told her. Despite his best efforts to explain, she failed to grasp what the point actually was, because she had no concept of propriety. All of Radek's careful reasoning had fallen, quite literally, on deaf ears.

Radek smiled ruefully. The only part of their conversation that had satisfied Shadow was Radek's explanation of the ZPM. She didn't tell him why she wanted to know about it, and Radek hadn't asked. Shadow was in such a peculiar mood this evening that Radek guessed she might not have told him even if he had inquired.

He listened to the noises of the Infirmary, the familiar hum of nearby machines, and the regular rhythm of Shadow's breathing. Shadow stirred in her sleep. Her hand moved in a kind of slow motion and she caught a fistful of the blanket. Radek wondered if she was dreaming. Judging by the way the muscles of her hand tightened around the white fabric she held, her dream was not a pleasant one.

Without even thinking about it, Radek rested his own hand on top of Shadow's closed fist. Her hand seemed small and frail compared to his, fragile, like the wing of a small bird. He felt an almost tangible need to protect her. He hadn't felt that way about anyone in a long time.

After a few minutes, Shadow's hand relaxed beneath Radek's fingers, and Radek began to feel tension leave his own body which, up to that point, he hadn't even realized was there. Inside his head, part of his consciousness demanded to know, what in God's name have I gotten myself into? He wished he had an answer that made sense. Tonight, however, had not turned out to be his night for coming up with satisfactory answers.

Perhaps his perspective on the situation would improve by morning. He hoped fervently that it would, because he was going to have trouble looking Elizabeth in the eye tomorrow if it did not.

TBC

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