Disclaimer: I won nothing dealing with Harry Potter.

Authors Note: Halfway done.

Ch. 6 Bitter Occlumency

The pain in Harry's back went away when he woke up, he did notice the way it popped when he got up though. Harry glanced at Tonks' sleeping form and sat down at the kitchen table. He knew Occlumency training was going to be extremely difficult with Snape. Snape was probably going to be very bitter towards Harry; 'some things can't be helped though it is for the greater cause' He was determined to learn Occlumency, his scar never seemed to stop prickling after that mind battle with Voldemort. Voldemort was more than pissed. Not even taking his anger out on his loyal servants seemed to help. Which Voldemort did frequently. Harry knew that if he tried to focus his attention on the connection between him and Voldemort he could read his mind, but the thought of doing that sickened him. He wasn't going to take advantage of it like Voldemort did, his better judgement of course kept nagging him to do so.

He didn't want to look into Voldemort's sick and twisted thoughts. Harry was content to stay as far away from the connection as possible. Harry got up and started to make some breakfast: Toast and Eggs, which seems kind of regular but hell it works. While Harry was in the middle of fixing breakfast, Tonks woke up and sat down at the table, falling back asleep as soon as she sat down. 'Must have burnt a lot more magical energy than I thought she did'. Tonks was drooling in her sleep. After finishing making breakfast Harry, piled half of it on a plate and placed the plate directly under her nose, which woke her up instantaneously. Harry sat down with his food and started to eat.

"So, what're the plans for today? Or at least until eight?" Tonks looked at Harry with groggy eyes. She was working on auto-pilot: sleep, eat, and sleep some more. She tried to speak but only came out all messed up. Harry started to laugh; he hadn't expected Tonks to be this groggy in the morning. She obviously wasn't a morning person.

"Well, first off we're going to do some more Occlumency, to warm you up before Severus arrives. I want to get you to be able to at least throw me off without even having to try; also I'm not going to search through your happy memories either. Severus will no doubt go for your unpleasant memories and I want you to be able to be prepared for it." Harry merely nodded solemnly, he didn't want to go through those memories of his, yet he knew that if Tonks made him go through them, it wouldn't be as horrible.

"Sure, when do we begin?" He could tell Tonks was thinking about this, truthfully he didn't want to begin too soon, he was pretty sure that Tonks knew that as well.

"I think after lunch we will begin, I don't think I can perform legilimency any sooner than that. I don't know why I feel so drained, I've performed the disarming spell more than that, on many occasions. Hell, I've even used spells that are way more draining than that. Rather odd... "

Harry looked at Tonks; she still seemed tired, except you had to scrutinize her face to actually see any give-away of her being tired.

Lunchtime came rather soon for both of them; time seemed to fly when they were talking to each other; loving the other's company immensely. Harry made a simple lunch, ham sandwiches. Harry only ate half-heartedly, he didn't want to have to face those painful memories again, he knew that it was wrong of him to have forgotten about Sirius' death yet that certain calming effect Tonks had over him just pushed it directly out of his mind. Somehow he didn't exactly feel horrible for forgetting about Sirius' death, Harry knew that Sirius wouldn't want him to spend the rest of his life grieving over him.

Still... even with Tonks' ever constant calmness and warmth radiating from her... he didn't feel quite ready to confront those memories, and yet here he was going to have to relive them again. Gloom once again made itself present.

"Don't worry Harry, I'll be with you all the way. Don't be afraid to tell me something and think my opinion will be faltered because of it. If you need a shoulder to cry on don't be afraid too; it's perfectly natural for someone to cry because of a loss -- especially one as great as yours, I won't love you any less." Harry smiled at her; it was as if she could read his mind.

"Thank you Tonks" Tonks smiled back at him.

"Well, looks like we should start your Occlumency lessons, same spots on the bed" Harry nodded, he felt a great deal better now that Tonks had told him that. Harry got up and sat down on his bed where Tonks followed suit, and took out her wand. Harry also took out his wand -- although not really having an idea why. Occlumency is done by the mind rather than by wand. Tonks didn't even bother telling Harry to get ready, as soon as he had taken out his wand she cast legilimency. Harry struggled to keep her out of his mind, knowing what was going to happen as soon as she was able to break down his defenses. He felt his defense slip and break.

Memories of the incident at the Department of Mysteries played in his mind, he watched as he watched helplessly as Lestrange hit Sirius with her spell causing him to go through the veil. He felt the since of loss and anger surge through his veins. He watched as he followed after Lestrange, he again felt the want to make her suffer, to make her pay for what she had done. Before he could cast the spell however he was knocked back to reality.

Grief ran his emotions; he was lying on his back, tears mingled with sweat. Tonks was embracing him, trying to ease his pain, but not even Tonks could stifle the grief that was going through his mind and heart. Unconsciously he embraced her back, his tears never showing signs of stopping. He felt the stab of loss, the familiar splinter of loss that embedded it in his heart. Everything that he had bottled up came out in tears. Tears of pain, rage, and sorrow. He wept for a long time, he cried until he could cry no more. His voice had gone hoarse, and yet sure enough Tonks never moved. She stayed next to him, holding him against herself showing him that she was here.

She was running her hands through his hair which had the uncanny ability to ease him, she kept murmuring comforting words to him, telling him to let it out and that it was ok. Her shoulder was soaked with his tears. He held on to her for dear life, he felt that if he let go of her the whole world would be ripped from his fingers; something horrible would happen and he would lose her as well.

"Thank you Tonks" His voice was terribly hoarse.

"Of course Harry. Like I said before, I'm here if you ever need a shoulder cry on. I love you" Harry smiled, he could never get tired of hearing that from her. "Harry... would you mind if we shifted a little, as much as I love this position, my body is going rather numb"

Laughing he shifted so that he was still holding onto her yet she is a more comfortable position. She lowered her head so that it was resting on his shoulder. Tonks let out a very cat like and a very erotic purr in his ear. Which incidentally sent shivers down his spine. Harry knew they should get back to Occlumency training, but this was incredible. He started to rub his hands up and down her back, loving the warmth and love that was radiating off from her.

"Much better" Tonks said.

"Definitely" his voice had gone husky. Drowsiness started to seep it's way into Harry; he started to drift off into a very good dream. Tonks not far behind.

A clearing of a throat woke both of them up. Tonks' mind was still half way asleep so she couldn't understand what was happening. She glanced at Harry saw that he was looking past her with wide eyes, her brow knitted in concentration. 'What the hell is happening?' She looked out at the window and saw that it was… night... Her eyes grew wide, and she zipped her head around and saw Severus Snape looking at both of them in utter disgust.

"Nymphadora, I thought more of you, not that that was much. I didn't think you would... lower yourself to such standards to sleep with Potter." Snape paused to sigh, "such a disgusting mental image". Tonks scowled at Severus, but didn't say anything, she didn't need to piss him off and make the Occlumency lessons more difficult for Harry. Sighing in defeat, but vowing to get that git back she got up off of Harry -- instantly missing the warmth and comfort, and moved to the kitchen table.

"Come on Potter, I don't have all night." Harry immediately bolted out of bed and stood a few feet away from Severus, wand drawn. Tonks could see the determination etched into his face as Harry got ready for Severus' eventual attack; a small smile started to play across Tonks' face.

"Get ready Potter... Legilimens!" She watched as Harry's face determined face stayed a few more seconds until it went utter horror. Tonks instantly knew Severus was making Harry relive that horrific night. She heard a gasp and saw Harry shiver from relieving the memory for the second time. Harry gave a giant shudder and fell to his knees giving a light moan of agony. Tonks could only hope that Harry had come to terms with everything that happened, or hopefully most of it. Tonks got up and went to her cauldron, intent on making a pepper-up potion, 'he sure as hell is going to need it'.

Three hours later after Snape was finished tormenting Harry with his horrible memories, Snape wiped his brow of sweat and put away his wand, "that was considerably better than last time Potter. I will see you Monday... same time. " With a swish of his cloak Severus was out of the window. Tonks got up and closed in the space between Harry and her, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"Come on Harry, take some pepper-up potion, then take a shower. It'll help."

Harry barely nodded. Tonks led him over to the potion, helped him take some, got some clothes, and unlocked the door for him. She watched him stumble his way into the bathroom, steam emitting from his ears. 'Well, at least tomorrow's his birthday, it'll definitely help his mood out; hopefully. If not his birthday then my promise to him will definitely help out.'

Twenty minutes later, Harry got out of the shower and flopped down on the bed. Tonks could tell that he was zoned out, he seemed to be sleep walking. Making sure that he won't have any nightmares, Tonks got up and crawled into bed with Harry, pressing herself against his back, and wrapping her arms across his stomach. She could tell that Harry was already half-asleep, he barely even stirred when she had pressed herself against him.

Harry's dreams were plagued by the happenings at the Department of Mysteries, however the things happened differently. The only person who came to Harry's and his friends rescue was Sirius. He watched helplessly has the death-eaters overpowered his godfather. When they had gotten done killing him, they rounded on Harry and his friends, placing the Cruciatus curse on each them, making sure that Harry was last. The curse was lifted off of Harry, but Harry continued to hear his friend's screams of pain, he watched as Voldemort walked toward him, laughed, and performed the killing curse on each of his friends, making sure that Harry watched everyone of their deaths.

Voldemort reached Harry and smiled, "A message for you Potter. Give up yourself to me and your friends will be spared" He raised his wand and started saying the killing curse.

Before the curse could hit him, Harry woke with a start. He was sweating profusely and breathing hard from the nightmare. Something was stirring next to him, which he realized that something was holding him. Harry reached across the bed, took his glasses off of the night table, and put them on. He saw what was holding him -- a pair of arms, arms that were pulling him toward a body that was warm and comforting. It was still dark so Harry edged closer to Tonks and fell back asleep. This time, to warm peaceful dreams.

Harry awoke to the sound of clinking dishes, his glasses had been moved off of his face and back onto the night table again. He leaned over and retrieved them.

"Mornin' birthday boy" Harry looked over to see Tonks leaning across the bed, looking at him. Today she opted with brown hair that went down to her shoulders. She had a black shirt on her that didn't quite cling to her like a second skin, but was nearly tight enough; blue muggle pants that showed off her ass quite well.

"Morning Tonks" Harry got up and stretched. He had totally forgotten that today was his birthday. He scanned the room and saw plenty of presents that were on the table; he could smell a cake in the oven. He walked over to the table and sat down, glancing at the presents.

"You know, when it's your birthday, and there's presents that usually means that you can open them up... " Harry looked at Tonks with a mock scowl on his face. She just snickered and sat down across from him. He grabbed one that was nearest to him, which was from Ron and Hermoine. He ripped through the wrapping and opened the box that contained a book called Complex Defense against the Dark Arts spells and how to perform them. It was a thick book, which wasn't surprising in the least. Laughing slightly, Harry pushed the book aside, promising himself to read it later on. Harry reached over and grabbed another package, which was from Hagrid. A huge box of Bertie Blotts every flavor beans was inside the package. Harry moved that over to the book and grabbed a package that was from Moody. Not expecting this Harry opened the package faster than the last two.

Inside was a shrunken foe glass that when put back to its original size was a full-body glass.

"Damn Mad-eye, should've expected something like this from him," Tonks said. "There's a difference between cautious and just plain insane." Even though Harry liked the foe glass -- in a creepy way. Tonks' comment still made him howl with laughter. Looking at the foe glass he saw hundreds of dark figures in it. Luckily none of them were visible yet. Harry handed the foe glass to Tonks -- who enlarged it and with a flick of her wand set it against the wall. Harry reached across and got a rather small present from Lupin. Inside there was a golden snitch, and a note.

'Dear Harry,

Your father used to always have a golden snitch with him, he had the annoying habit of releasing it and catching it, this is the same snitch. It was found among the rubble of your parent's house. I thought you would like to have it.

Sincerely,

Remus Lupin'

Harry smiled at this; he pulled out the snitch and held it in his hand as it tried to escape. He placed the snitch back into the box and closed it. Harry got to his last present that was from Tonks. He looked at her and raised his eyebrows. He opened it up and pulled out an Odgen's Fire Whiskey. As soon as he saw the bottle he looked questionably at Tonks, clearly not expecting a present like that.

"Don't look at me like that, fire whiskey helps out a lot out when you need to settle your nerves. Mainly it's a just in case I'm not here, to help calm you done. Hell it works for me, especially after a difficult night at the Ministry or doing something for the Order. It's not addictive, plus I trust your judgement" Harry had to smile, it was a very thoughtful gift.

"Thanks Tonks, I'm sure it'll come in handy" He didn't want to think about Tonks not being here with him, it was so completely soothing with her. 'You're just being selfish, you can't wish for her to be with you all of the time'.

"Alright birth-day boy, time for your cake." With a flick of her wand the lights went out, and the cake came out of the oven, candles already alit. "Make a wish!" Smiling Harry thought of a wish, and blew out all of the candles. Tonks flicked her wand once again and the lights flicked back on.

Harry's birthday party went very well, for the rest of the day they both talked about the spells in the book that Hermoine and Ron sent him. Deciding which spells Harry should learn and which ones wouldn't really be much help. In about ten minutes they both had eaten Harry's birthday cake.

Tonks couldn't wait for night, when she could give Harry his second present from her.

Authors Note: Wheeee!