Audrey had left the new Westley abode early in order to make a few appointments. The very first thing he did was race to HELLSING headquarters to make the first one, picking up his target and then heading toward his friend Travis' house. He and the author had arranged to not only socialise that day, but Audrey also needed his expertise. What Audrey had brought to him for his advice on was a bit peculiar for Bones. It was certainly a first, at least. There, seated in front of them, panting while wagging its tail was a rather large rottweiler. Knowing Travis and how he knew how to handle animals, Audrey was going to need all of the help he could get.

"So, why exactly did you get a dog, again?" questioned Travis while gesturing to the animal. He honestly couldn't figure out why Audrey would acquire a pet, especially something so big, but here it was, plain for all to see.

"I have a buddy at HELLSING who trains them for work." Audrey explained. "This one didn't pass the 'attack' section, so she's pretty worthless to them. She was more interested in the possibility of belly rubs to attack the guy dressed as a ghoul."

"That's nice. Is she at least housebroken?" the other further inquired. "Does she bite?"

"Yeah, she's trained in everything else. She waits to pee outside and the most she'll do is slobber on you."

"What's her name?"

"Cynthia. I wanted to change it, but that's what she responds to, so it's stuck."

"Nice." nodded Mister Sullivan. "A pretty name for a pretty girl."

"Excuse you, I think you mean 'beautiful.'" the reaper jokingly corrected. "I need help picking out everything I need for her, though. Like, how do you know pick out dog food brands? I want to pick out something good for her that she'll eat, but I'm worried about accidentally buying something that will give her the shits."

"Dogs get the shits, Audrey. It's a fact of life." Gesturing off to the car, he Travis said: "Load her in the car. Let's go to the store. Do you have a vet yet? Do you know what shots she's had?"

"The chick gave me a paper with all her vaccinations, but I have no idea where the nearest vet is." the other confessed as they walked.

"I'll give you the number for mine. She's good. Most of my animals go to see her."

Opening the door, Audrey moved the passenger seat forward so the dog could jump into the back. "Get in, Cynthia." he instructed in a friendly voice, prompting the canine to do just that. Petting her, he praised the animal. "Good girl."

"She's well trained, it seems." Travis said with a surprised expression.

"Yeah, she is." Bones replied, still affectionately rubbing his new pet behind the ears. "My mate at HELLSING said that she passed most everything but the combat training. She said that she might be a good service dog, but she's too old to be trained for it."

"That's a relief, though it's kinda weird for a rottweiler. They're usually pretty aggressive."

"Not all rottweilers, Travis. Don't generalise." the reaper said while putting the seat back again so that Travis could sit down. As his friend got in his car, he walked around to the driver's seat and got in as well. He paused to look behind him, only to see the dog in the seat wagging her tail. With a smile, he faced forward again to put on his seat belt on and to get ready to disembark.

"Her tail is wagging really hard." Travis stated. "I can hear it hitting the seat. Please tell me you're not planning on docking it."

"I have no idea what that is." Audrey answered while putting the car into gear.

"That's when you cut the tail off so it's super short. People do that with rottweilers and dobermans a lot."

"What? No! Why would I do that?"

"You have a bit of an aesthetic going on."

"What do you mean?"

"You have a rottweiler, drive a purple mustang, and dress like you're a k-pop star." Mister Sullivan explained. "It's an aesthetic."

"If only I had an instagram." With that, Audrey took off, pausing for a moment so that he could focus on getting onto the street. "But no, I'm not going to cut her tail. That would be mean."

"Good to see you're head over heels about her."

"Well, it's my first time having a lady move in with me, so I want to make a good impression."

The reaper grinned as his friend laughed in the seat next to him. The duo went on their way to a pet supply store, where Audrey would hopefully find everything he needed for the time being. Fortunately, he was allowed to bring Cynthia into the store. While he held onto the dog, Travis pushed the cart and provided opinions and advice on a few things here and there.

"She needs a harness and a little dog jacket that doesn't have the HELLSING logo on it." Audrey said, crouching down on the floor with his arm around his pet as he looked at merchandise. "She's a civilian now, so she should dress like one."

"He's a plain black one." pointed out Travis, trying to think of something that would be eyecatching to the reaper. "Or here's one that looks like a chain."

"I feeling the pink harness and then this green jacket. I need to find one in her size, though."

"Why pink?"

"Because she's pretty."

"Isn't that a bit stereotypical?" questioned Travis with an arch of his brow, but Audrey simply wasn't having it with the accusations.

"Pretty people just wear pink, Travis. Look at Kris. He's a very masculine man who also just so happens to be the king of glam." the reaper insisted. "Pretty dogs just wear pink."

"Don't let him hear you calling him a dog."

"I know. I'm not a complete idiot." Audrey said just as he turned to see his new pet vigorously chewing on a toy that she had somehow gotten a hold of. "Cynthia, no!"

"You're going to have to pay for that, you know." stated his friend. "They really don't like it when pets 'preview' the merchandise, here."

"Yeah, yeah… I'll buy it, I guess…" With one hand on his hip, Audrey looked down at his new companion, who simply wagged her tail. "Well, you seem awfully pleased. You happy with your new toy?"

"You're already becoming one of those people who talks to their pet like they're a person..." Travis noted. "Please come back to us alive, Bones. Don't end up a person with fifteen dogs in the house. We'll miss you."

"I won't miss you. I will have dog friends to keep me company."

"Audrey, no..."

"Audrey, yes!"


A/N: Audrey pls...

I finished this yesterday, but just forgot to post it? I dunno what I ended up doing instead. Basically, if I don't post as soon as the last word is written, it doesn't happen until the next day.

Anyways, Audrey has a new lady friend. A lady friend who is a dog that he loves very much. Initially, Cynthia was supposed to be a pitbull, but those are apparently banned in the UK? Then again, he's also had his mustang for a few years, even though Ford Mustangs only became available in the UK in 2015. It's currently 2016 in DLTD-time, and he's had this car for more than two years. The math just doesn't add up.

Consistency? In my DLTD?

It's less likely than you think.

But Audrey's aesthetic is really wild, isn't it? Dude has a purple mustang, a rottweiler with a pink leash and collar, and dresses in super trendy shit. Likes military jackets, but he just has a lot of them because of his work...

"But Hate! If he's this cool, why is he still single?"

Because he doesn't go outside and feels anxious around new people. The line of thought here is that he thinks that a dog will help him get out of the house and be good for him. That and a person at work just offered him a free, mostly trained dog? And he's just gonna say no? I think not.

Until the next chapter, my duckies~!