"Murder, murder, murder… How do I murder someone?" Alois pondered aloud as he sat at his desk with a pen and pad of paper out in front of him. It still wasn't enough for him to know that the world knew what happened to the children of Trancy Manor and it wasn't enough knowing that they would finally have a proper burial. The menace would not be content, he felt, until the descendants of Trancy were completely snuffed out.

Arnold Trancy took over the estate after Alois' death and his descendants, although stripped of their lands and ancestral home, grew into a crime family that trafficked drugs, but more importantly, human beings. As crazy as it sounded, it would appear that trafficking human beings was in their blood. They would never stop. They hadn't so far. It was a bit of a specialty of theirs and the family tradition was still going strong. The world would benefit from their absence and that is why Alois felt as though it was not just revenge driving him. It was civic duty. Because he knows that these people sell people into slavery and commit horrible, horrible acts against them.

"Traffic accident?" he pondered aloud to himself, jotting it down. "A cut brakeline might be too conspicuous, but then again, they are mafia. Probably got rivals who'd like to ice them." Pondering to himself for a moment, he stared at his paper and scratched his head. Furrowing his brow, he crossed the idea out again.

"No, no, no… Maybe a staged suicide?" he nodded, somewhat satisfied as he smiled lightly to himself. "Classic."

He sat alone in the office while everyone else was out, luckily for him. No one could hear him talking to himself, this way, although he had to admit that it was somewhat lonely. It would be much better if he had help planning this out, but Ciel was busy and Sebastian was- Well, he was Sebastian. Although, thinking of the butler, Alois was certain that if he and his husband asked, Sebastian would simply take care of it and do it with perfect execution. Yet, that didn't feel right, somehow. While this wasn't just his beast, it felt like it was.

Running a hand through his hair, he sighed and hunched over. His brow furrowed as he glared at the paper. The tip of his pen steadily tapped against it as he thought about what he was going to do. Alois hated how the family had to come back into his life again and again. Right when he feels like he's steady and stable, they always come back to shake the platform he was standing on. This time, they didn't even know he existed, although they knew that someone told the researchers where to find bodies. They just didn't have the means to find out who. It would be better if they didn't exist at all anymore. Then they wouldn't be able to bother Jim or anyone else ever again.

Suddenly, the office phone rang and he was somewhat relieved to hear it. Now he didn't have to spend another second thinking about his mission, at least for a little while. Reaching over, he picked it up and casually placed it against his ear.

"Phantomhive's Office, this is Jim speaking." the blonde said dully, much to the perplexion of the person on the other end.

"Jim?" Ciel questioned, immediately causing the other to perk up.

"Hey, babe~!" Alois greeted. Immediately after hearing his husband's voice, a smile graced his face. "What's up?"

"Nothing, really. I'm just finishing lunch." the bluenette informed before adding. "It's delicious, by the way."

"Thanks! Glad you like it. I didn't even realise what time it was. My schedule's all fucked up. I was just trying to figure out this Pomeroy crap again."

"I recommend a staged suicide." Ciel informed. "It's a classic."

"I was leaning that way, but I've never pulled something like this off before. I don't even know where to start."

"Do you want to talk about it when I get home?"

"Mmm… Nah, I'll probably be thinking about something else, by then." Alois answered. "At least, I kinda hope so. I'm sick of this shit. And don't even suggest that I could just not kill them, my mind is made up."

"I wasn't going to." the Watchdog stated. "I agree with you completely. Besides, they're an annoyance that a lot of people would like removed. Including the round table."

"Aw, babe, you talked to them for me?" grinned the menace. He held the phone between his shoulder and his ear as he fiddled with his pen.

"I'm already here every day." his husband stated. "I'd be more than happy to help. It would be preferable if we could just string them out over a little while, though. Both because it will look less suspicious and because I have to handle the recruits for a little while longer. After that, I'm up for anything."

"Sounds good. Think you'll be up for some scheming tonight?"

"I'll do my best." Alois could practically hear the smile in his husband's voice as he spoke.

"Thank you, poochie. I love you~!"

"I love you, too, darling." Pausing, the bluenette added: "Listen, I've got to go do a lecture now, but I'm all yours, tonight."

"Alright, I'll let you go then." the menace conceded. "Bye."

"Bye-bye." And with that, the call disconnected. With a shake of his head, the menace put the phone back on the receiver and chuckled at his beau's farewell.

As he turned back to his paper, relief washed over him as he no longer had to focus on the task for the time being. Then, almost immediately after came the realisation that he had nothing else to do until Ciel got back. It wasn't fair.

He felt so powerless and idle. He felt like he desperately needed to be doing something, but had nothing to do. He didn't have any classes that day. He didn't have a solid plan for what he was going to do yet. It has been over one hundred years, yet nothing has been done. Despite now knowing all of their names and faces, he has accomplished nothing. Perhaps he was scared to.

In an attempt to distract himself from pondering it for too long, he got up from his seat and began to wander. It was basically going for a walk, but indoors and in pyjama pants. He visited the parts of the house that he seldom walked through. This house was so big that simply walking around it was an adventure. There was a ballroom that was no longer in use, as they never threw balls anymore. Certainly, they invited people over, but it was never in enough numbers to warrant a ball. Their home was supposed to be their space and it was subsequently decorated with the occasional questionable object that they would have to explain if they threw FUNTOM events at the house, so it was not worth the bother.

Just on his trek, he found swords, guns, and other more "exotic" weaponry mounted on the walls. Suits of armour and many, many paintings of perhaps more "macabre" scenes. There was a rather serious "demon" motif as the blonde menace himself thought it would be fun to decorate the house accordingly, but given his husband's already somewhat grim taste in art, the other Phantomhive was more than happy to oblige. There were paintings of Lucifer and Faust as well as other rather grim scenes. According to Sebastian, a similar aesthetic has always been adopted in the Phantomhive household, only now it's gone from accidental to intentional.

The strangest object, however, was a completely different painting that hung on the wall. It was also the oldest that wasn't a replica. Alois had no idea why Ciel was so insistent on keeping it, but he did, even going so far as to get it a new frame. It was a portrait painted of Alois back in olden days as a teenaged Earl. Alois must confess that it was a little embarrassing. How on earth he managed such a nasty expression, he'll never know. That kid was very different from the man that stood there now, even Alois himself could see that. It was right there, written all over his face.

Alois was actually surprised that Ciel was able to find a frame that fit. The canvas was oddly proportioned, but it fit the odd nature of the rest of the house. Then again, he supposed that his beau could have just found someone to make him a frame, as he did with their shared desk. The frame was intricately carved with a serious attention to fine details. At the bottom was a spot that served as a plaque, completely flat and smooth save for the name etched into it. In it's previous, gaudy gold frame, it said "Alois Trancy" clear as day, but now, in this earthy-coloured frame with a refined finish, it had his "maiden" name.

"Jim Macken." The name did not bother the blonde anymore. In fact, it had actually started to grow on him. He used to hate how plain it sounded and now that the man thought about it, he was sure that his old self would hate this new frame. Yet, it felt right, somehow. It all belonged here and not with the Trancy's. Maybe tastes change just like people do.

"Do I really smirk like that?" he asked aloud to no one before making a half-hearted attempt to replicate it. There wasn't much point in doing this, however, as there wasn't a mirror anywhere near him. With a shake of his head, he carried on. He was certain that if he just flipped a switch hidden somewhere or tilted a painting, a secret passage would open up. Surely there was a panic room, given who lived there and what they did. Then again, he somewhat doubted it, given what happened to the Phantomhives over a hundred years ago.

Perhaps he shouldn't think such things. It's incredibly rude to his husband.

He came to a section of the house that he recognised, but more importantly, he remembered that there was indeed a safe behind one of the paintings. "Or was it a gun?" he asked himself with a tilt of his head. Either way, he had on a rather mischievous grin as he thought he found the right one. Lifting it up with one hand, he peeked underneath, turning his smile into a grin.

"Gotcha." he said before setting the painting back down, only to grip it with both hands and remove it from the wall altogether. He was going to move it back once he knew what was inside the safe. After very gently setting it on the floor, he put his ear against the safe and listened for the tumblers. As he concentrated, he tried his best to keep track of the combination.

"Six… four… seventy-four… Ha!" Hearing the click, the stood up straight and turned the handle. In an instant, his smile fell and he furrowed his brow. The safe was empty! Completely empty!

"If you're gonna bother hiding a safe behind a painting, at least put something in it!" he huffed before closing it again. Then again, if it wasn't going to be used that often, he could probably hide Christmas presents in there. Or, he could put something silly in there and wait until somebody else opens it. With a glint in his eye, he chose the latter option.

Thus, he went on a trek throughout the mansion to find something appropriate. It took him back to the office and was proving to be far more difficult that he thought it would be. It was tough to find something that was both funny and that wouldn't be missed. He thought about leaving a note and being done with it, but he hadn't the foggiest idea as to what to say. Or perhaps he could put an old shoe from their closet inside? The menace thought that he might as well finish his search in the office before moving on to something else. He hoped that he might stumble across something interesting, and he did.

While snooping around his husband's side of the desk, he found several locked drawers. This was not out of the ordinary, of course. After all, Ciel ran a business and had files, but Alois knew which drawer those were in. With these, however, he hadn't the foggiest idea as to what the contents were. Naturally, that meant that he needed to investigate in order to satisfy his curiosity. Alois didn't think very long about what Ciel would think, as he knew for a fact that the Watchdog pilfered the biscuits from the lion-shaped jar on his own desk and raided his drawers regularly.

Placing the tip of his finger up against the lock, he spread the threads of his demonic garb and twisted it, taking the place of a key. Locks without keys were no match for the menace and Ciel should have known that already. Much to Alois' amusement, however, all he seemed to find in this drawer was candy. He scoffed at how much of a glutton his husband was. Ciel would steal his biscuits and then eat his own secret stash? Well, while Alois had it open, he thought that he might as well get his beau back a little. Sticking his hand in the drawer, he rustled around to see if he could find anything he liked, only to find something hidden underneath. With an arched eyebrow, he grabbed onto it and pulled it out.

It was a book. More accurately, it was a diary that his husband obviously didn't want anyone to be reading. "Another lock, Ciel?" Alois rolled his eyes before sitting down in his husband's chair. "What do you take me for? An amateur?"

Just as easily as he undid the first lock, Alois had open the second. He expected the contents to just be a bunch of crunched numbers, which he found, but he wasn't sure what else. After all, what did Ciel have to hide from him, really? Both of them were honest and open with each other, even if they expected a certain degree of privacy. Alois probably invaded that last bit just a tad, but he sincerely didn't do it out of any ill intent or feeling of suspicion.

As he flipped through pages, he came across several pages filled to the brim with words. Flipping ahead, he could see that there were many more. Some merely had bullet points while some were strangely in letter format. Alois thought that if he was going to snoop, however, he might as well start from the first page.

"The greats should be weeping in their graves once they are aware that they could never sculpt a form more beautiful and ideal. What agony must God himself feel, knowing that he failed this perfect man? Yet, while it appears as though it were some kind of mistake, there is no way that my beloved would be content with being an angel. He is far too wild and rebellious; even I know that while he may allow me to be near him, to touch him, to love him, and to share my name, he will never truly be 'mine.' That is simply how he is and I love every bit of it. While his beauty dwarfs that of the angels, he is far from decoration. When my fingers indulge I the softness of his skin and the firmness of his muscle, I know that this is the body of a warrior whose sense of heroism rivals that of Arthurian legend. His dignity, grace, and honour makes blue-blooded 'noble' men look like filth and rot. The man I love is far too good for the earth he inhabits and far too good for me, but I love him, and wish to remain at his side forever."

With a blush forming on his cheeks, Alois stopped reading just long enough to process what he was seeing. Ciel has been secretly writing about him and Alois couldn't help but find it to be unbelievably sweet. He actually felt a bit bad about picking those locks, now, as these were rather intimate thoughts and feelings that he had uncovered. Why Ciel didn't simply tell him these things rather than writing them down, he wasn't sure, but he couldn't stop reading now that he started. He would have to put everything back exactly as he found it before his husband got home. He wasn't really sure what the risk was, but Alois was willing to take it, just so he could see what his beau was thinking. After finishing that page, he turned to the next and found that the tone had shifted significantly.

"I have no idea how to word this correctly." Ciel had confessed to the paper. "I've gotten accustomed to saying 'I love you' to Jim and actually rather enjoy it, but it never seems like quite enough. I used to think that the old, romantic poetry that was written by those pretentious-sounding poets wearing those fluffy shirts with all of the ruffles were silly, but now I understand the sentiment. Then again, there is a lot I don't understand. The possessiveness and jealousy is off-putting. That's not how I feel about Jim. Part of the reason why I admire him so much is because Jim is going to do what Jim is going to do. I don't want to control him in the slightest. I just want him to be happy and keep smiling like he does. So, when I write to him, I need to keep my intentions clear."

It would appear that the Watchdog was explaining his own feelings to himself. Curiously, he spoke of writing to the menace, which Alois himself found odd, given that he had never received any king of message of the sort. Being careful to keep his place, he glanced over a few of the next pages to see if any of them were dated. Unfortunately, he found nothing of the sort and had only context clues to rely on.

"I feel as though I should write about how I love it when he's passionate about what he's doing." The Watchdog wrote further while the menace leaned back in his chair and propped his feet up on his desk while reading. "When he's focusing on something, his brow furrows and he sort of squishes his lower lip with his thumb. It's adorable, but I can't write all of it. If I did, I would end up handing Jim a novel. It would get tedious to read and I'm not sure if most people would like to hear how attractive they are when they handle guns. He gets quiet and meticulous when cleaning them and putting them together and then has a blast when firing them. Most people probably don't want to know that you can look at them covered in blood after killing someone and think: 'Yes, this is the man of my dreams.' Then again, Jim isn't most people..."

"I'm going to have to ask him about that." Alois laughed to himself. Of course his beau did have some tastes that were "unusual," so the menace wasn't at all bothered. Both of them were assassins, after all. Alois was incredibly flattered that Ciel could find him beautiful in the most unflattering of situations and endeared by his beau's self-consciousness. With a sigh, the menace added: "Still thinking he's a bad guy, I see..."

Turning the page, he found what looked as though it was supposed to be an attempt at a letter, but most of it was crossed out. The Watchdog couldn't even get past the greeting before scrutinising it. "Dear Jim" was crossed out, and so was "Dearest Jim" and "To my darling Jim." Next to each one written in small lettering were little notes the bluenette had made. The first was "too impersonal" while the second seemed like it was "pretentious." Meanwhile, the third felt "embarrassing," despite the fact that the man called his spouse "darling" practically every single day. Alois just shook his head, feeling as though this is just exactly like Ciel to write. The blonde had to squint to try and read some of the words in the actual letter, but it seemed as though Ciel gave up halfway through, seeing as though half of the page was completely blank, save for one last little note.

"I sort of wish I were one of those pretentious men in the fluffy shirts sometimes, because this would be much easier..." the Watchdog had written. "I'm not so good at being romantic..."

To this, Alois scoffed audibly, as he couldn't disagree more. It was amazing, how self-doubting such an ordinarily haughty man could be. Ciel delighted in frightening people with his demeanor alone and has been one of her majesty's finest agent for a century, but if he reflected on himself for a single moment, he started to question his ability. Alois knew that writing love letters wasn't exactly his husband's forte, but he knew that Ciel made successful attempts to woo him on a regular basis.

"I wish I could express the way I feel about you." Alois read as he turned the page. There was more still, giving Alois plenty to reflect upon until the man who wrote it returned. Resting his elbow on the arm of the chair, he held his reddened cheek in his palm. An uncontrollable smile was still firmly fixed upon his visage and showed no signs of disappearing soon.

"With all of the swoops and frills of a romantic novel, I want to sweep you off your feet in a gentlemanly fashion, but I am not so skilled with my words. I'm still learning how to say what I feel and have only been able to manage 'I love you,' in person, even though I promised when we danced on our wedding night that I would tell you every bit about the way you've swept me off of my feet.

"It feels like you must whenever I'm struck with just how much I love you, as it makes me go weak in the knees. The feeling comes suddenly. It could come when I see you smile or hear you laugh. God forbid you laugh so hard you become inaudible and tears form in your eyes, because then I'm done for. The feeling could come for me while listening about your day or when your cuddled up next to me, or even while I am cuddled against you. It could come for me when I'm reminded how long your eyelashes are or how soft your hair or skin is. Perplexingly, it could even hit me when I watch you clean and finally assemble your gun. Probably as I notice the focused expression on your face or your hands as you meticulously pick up each black, metal piece. Even if all of that doesn't get me, when you aim your gun and pull the trigger, and I see that little smile of satisfaction when you hear the click, my heart is struck and I doubt I will ever find someone more utterly perfect than you."

For the first time that day, Alois was glad that he was alone. Instinctively, the blonde buried his face in the book in order to hide it. He wanted to scream. It was too much. It was just too much to bear. How could Ciel do this to him? Quite easily, actually, but Alois still felt like it wasn't fair. He was astonished that his husband still had more to say about him. In total, there six or seven pages about the menace and how much Ciel loved, admired, and cherished him. It took Alois a while before he recovered enough to take his face out of the book and slightly stifle the goofy smile he was wearing. Now he really wanted his spouse to be home.

Alas, he had plenty of time to bask in his husband's feelings while the man was absent. Alois felt as though it might have been a bit narcissistic, but he read those pages over and over again. He never wanted to put them back in the drawer in case Ciel filled the diary and burned it. Instead, he wanted to keep it. Maybe that is what he would put in that safe?

He didn't linger on any page in particular and instead restarted from the beginning once a page was read and then read twice. There was a page that Alois found particularly interesting, however, and that was the page in which Ciel attempted to describe his more carnal feelings for the menace. It wasn't interesting merely because his beau was very openly talking about sex, but also because Ciel's interpretation of himself was almost exactly as the blonde saw him as well. Their phrasing differed slightly in that Alois was more honest, while Ciel had a tendency to express a bit of anxiety. Adding this to the fact that there were many sections crossed out was a clear indicator as to how confident Ciel was in writing it. The bluenette was attentive and courteous, but he also chose his words very carefully. Alois loved this side of Ciel, too, especially because he was most definitely the only person to have ever seen it.

"He gets my blood pumping and always has." Ciel's pen told the paper. "I want to embrace him. I want him to embrace me. There really isn't much else to it. As much as I would like to maintain an air of dignity, there really isn't anything 'dignified' about it. It's primal. I puff out my chest to catch his attention like other hopeful males across many species and my mind slips into thinking about nothing else apart from our shared masculinity."

Yes, that was most definitely Ciel. There was no doubt in Alois' mind. He was a bit astonished when the bluenette got slightly more racy and bordered on explicit later on, but was also appreciative of it. The blonde Phantomhive wants to understand all of Ciel's feelings, and these feelings were part of that, too. In addition, Alois could use this knowledge at another time for his own mischievous purposes.

He was so preoccupied in this that he had completely forgotten about his previous mission. Sebastian would later find the safe exposed and the painting that concealed it neatly propped up against the wall on the floor. Instead, Alois spent an absurd amount of time analysing, rereading, and daydreaming about the diary. It was hours later that he finally snapped out of his stupor when he finally sensed that someone was coming.

Instantly, he froze for a moment and tried to figure out who it was, only to realise that it was the Watchdog, himself! The not-very-sudden arrival of the other Phantomhive and the fact that he was heading his way sent the blonde into a frenzy as the realisation that he may actually be in the wrong for going through Ciel's private things hit him like a bus. Quickly, he rushed to close the book and lock it back with his threads. Once that was done, he shoved it back into the drawer and rustled the candy inside so that it was covered again before slamming it shut. He barely missed the door swinging open and practically leapt backwards into Ciel's chair so that he could pretend he was lounging.

"I'm back." the Watchdog greeted, stepping into the room having just gotten home. Out of politeness, he went to inform his husband right away. He hadn't even changed out of his uniform yet, but like a true gentleman, carried his hat inside rather than wore it on his head.

"Welcome home, Pooch." Alois replied, not setting out a very convincing scene. Immediately, the other man was suspicious, but simply laughed at the feeling.

"What are you up to?" Ciel chuckled, smiling with amusement at the obvious air of his spouse being up to no good. The blonde's body language was wrong, he was at the wrong desk, and his cheeks were flushed. All pointed to some kind of nonsense being afoot. "Did something fall?"

"No, why?" the other answered, immediately internally kicking himself at how eager he sounded to do so.

"I thought I heard something when I walked in."

"I dunno." shrugged the menace. "Maybe it was the door?"

"Probably not." stated the Watchdog, calling the other's bluff. "So, what are you up to?"

"Not much. Just chilling, I guess."

"Jim, if you're going to lie, do it with the same standard with which you lie to other people. You're not convincing."

"Are you insinuating that I am up to no good?"

"No, I'm outright saying you are."

Mockingly, Alois let out a fake gasp and clutched at some pretend pearls around his neck. "I am shocked that you would even think that. Shocked, I say! Just what about me seems to give that impression?"

"The loud bang, your flushed face, the fact that you're at my desk seemingly not doing anything, and your overall general demeanor, really."

"Maybe I just got back from a jog and thought your chair might have been more comfy?" half-heartedly jested the menace, prompting the other to roll his eyes. He knew that he was mostly caught, but there was still a chance that Ciel would simply let it go if he kept suggesting it was a joke.

"Our chairs are exactly the same." said the bluenette, walking toward the desk. It was then that Alois made a terrible recollection.

He had locked the diary, yes. He had covered it back up with candy, true. Yet, he had forgotten to lock the drawer back like he had found it. Now, Ciel was walking back to his desk, so he couldn't fix it without being seen. Despite his guilty conscience, his cheek was kissed by his husband, causing him to mistakenly believe for a moment that he was in the clear. Unfortunately for him, Ciel noticed everything. The Watchdog could tell when the man was up to no good and he noticed the eyes of the menace that he loved so much as they continuously darted at the drawer.

Ciel knew exactly what was in this drawer and he knew that locks didn't work on his spouse. Thus, he reached over and grabbed the handle before testing it. He already knew that it was unlocked before he even touched it from how his husband tensed up at the gesture. Now the Watchdog's cheeks became tinted, as he not only knew what was inside the drawer, he also knew what was written inside of the diary. The drawer came open just enough for Ciel to know it was unlocked and immediately, he looked at his spouse. Alois' face was scrunched as he braced for what was to come.

"Jim, have you been going through my things?" the bluenette questioned. After a moment of hesitation, he got his answer.

"I think you already know." Alois stated.

"But I want you to tell me."

"It wasn't my initial intention." the blonde stated. "Originally, I was just trying to find something funny to put in the empty locker behind the painting in the part of the house with all the weapons on the wall."

"That's not very specific, but okay?" his beau replied. "Did you look at the stuff in it?"

"I found candy?"

"Jim..."

"Okay, I saw the diary but I didn't read it."

"Jim..."

"Okay, maybe a little."

This time, Ciel didn't say anything at all and merely shot his husband a look. Defeated, Alois had no choice bit to confess. "Okay, I read it. I'm sorry..." holding up his hands in surrender, he added: "I liked it! I liked it a lot! You're so sweet that I wanted to scream!"

"Why would that make you scream?" his husband asked before shaking his head. "Never mind… So I take it you read that, huh?" Running a hand through his hair, Ciel sighed while resting the other on his shoulder. "You're killing me, Jim… I don't even know what to say about it…"

"Do you have to say anything?"

"Yes, I feel as though I should scold you for going through my things, but at the same time, I'm sort of relieved that I didn't have to say all of that to your face. In addition, I'm incredibly embarrassed! Why did you read it?!"

"Ciel, it was a locked book in a locked drawer in this house that I was not previously aware of. I let my curiosity get the better of me and I shouldn't have done it." Turning his head, Alois could see that his husband was indeed rather frazzled, despite not sounding it. The Watchdog's face was red and his eye was downcast as he quietly pondered what to say about the situation. To reassure him, the blonde held one of his cheeks, positioning just so that he could kiss the other. "Were you trying to write a love letter?"

"Yes..."

"I loved it. I've spent like, the past three hours or so reading and rereading it. Maybe longer? Either way, I'm completely obsessed and blown away by how completely and utterly wonderful the man I married is. Are you even real?"

"Yes, I am." Ciel said back, smiling faintly. "Do you really mean it?"

"Of course I do!" Alois declared, throwing his arms around the other's neck and holding him in a nearly crushing embrace. "It's the best thing ever and I just love you so much! Ugh! You're just so fucking amazing and cute that I can hardly stand it!"

"You say that, but I keep remembering things I wrote and am somewhat hesitant to believe that."

"You wrote brilliantly and I love it. Your feelings are wonderful and I accept all of them."

"I didn't even write a complete letter!"

"I don't care. It was all there, so your message was received!"

"Jim, you're really… God..." Ciel buried his face in his husband's shoulder, hiding himself, but the other man was relentless. "Why are you like this?"

"Because I love my sweet, adorable, husband, obviously."

"You're the worst..."

"I know. I am sorry, you know… I invaded your privacy and I shouldn't have."

"You don't seem very sorry. You seem giddy..."

"Sorry..."

Groaning, the Watchdog pulled away so he could finally face his spouse. He was surprised at how well he was handling this, although he was still annoyed. With a pout, he asked: "What am I going to do with you?"

"Love and cherish me?" suggested Alois and with a roll of his eyes, Ciel conceded.

"Fair enough. I was planning on it, anyway." Ciel said before shutting the drawer back. "But no more going through my things."

"You eat my biscuits..."

"And I promise that I will stop eating your food."

"You've promised before..."

"And I'm sure that this isn't the last time you'll go through my stuff, either." the bluenette stated while crouching down. He was getting tired from bending over to reach the other man. There was a moment of hesitation before he asked: "...You didn't think any of it was weird, though… did you?"

"Not at all." Alois said without a moment of thought. "I thought that you were really cute and sweet. Have you not paid attention to anything I've said?"

"I know…. I heard you… It's just? I worry..."

"I'm aware. You're very good at it. But I didn't find any of it weird, honest!"

"Even the… Uhm..."

"The naughty bits?" the menace continued for him. His mischievous smirk caused his spouse's embarrassment to triple. "Those were very interesting. Educational, too. It was nice to to know what goes on inside your head while in the throes of passion."

Without missing a single beat, Ciel answered: "You know, I think one-hundred and forty years is long enough to live. May I die now?"

"No, not until we make it through at least five anniversaries."

"Well, I've got four left, then." the bluenette said while sinking all the way to the floor. He sat down from his crouching position as he didn't think he could fit in the chair with his husband and he wasn't silly enough to sit in his lap. "What about… Y'know? The stuff in the back?"

"What stuff? Be specific?" replied the menace with an arched brow, prompting the other man to look away.

"You know… the stuff." Ciel reiterated. "The… list?"

"What list?" Alois honestly didn't recall any kind of list on the last page of those entries, so he was a bit lost. Once Ciel looked up and noticed his puzzled expression, his eyes flashed in recognition and his eyebrows raised. Immediately, his hand darted for the drawer, but as soon as he moved, Alois met him and tried to open it himself.

While the Watchdog had intended to grab the book, he now pushed his hand up against the drawer, preventing Alois from opening it. From his position in the floor, however, the menace had the upper hand. Rather, he had easy access to both of his hands and used one to grab Ciel's wrist and try to pry him away.

"What list?!" the blonde demanded, grunting as he and his spouse played keep away.

"What happened to not touching my stuff?!" replied Ciel with equal indignation. "You just said-!"

"You know my nature, Ciel!" Alois barked. "What list?!"

He leaned forward in order to get better leverage, only to fall on top of his spouse with a grunt from both of them. Instead of dwelling on it or getting embarrassed, however, he used Ciel's distractedness to take the book from the drawer and unlock it.

"Jim!" the other Phantomhive shouted while reaching for it, but Alois blocked him with his body and held the book just out of the bluenette's grasp as he flipped through the pages.

All of the entries Ciel wrote about the menace were still there and accounted for, but there was no list that Alois could see. He flipped through several more pages after that until he saw writing. Then, he flipped back and read it. Sure enough, it looked like a list at a glance, and it was at this moment that Ciel simply gave up. The Watchdog stopped reaching for the book and instead wrapped his arms around Alois' middle, holding him close enough that he could hide his face in the blonde's shoulder. While Alois was reading it, he groaned, now knowing that he shouldn't have said anything at all.

Meanwhile, his husband was somewhat confused at what he was reading. These items appeared to be quite random until he noticed a certain trend that linked them together. Once he put it together in his mind, he reached up with one hand and used it to pat the back of his husband's head.

"Ciel," he began, "Is this a list of your sexual fantasies?"

"You're the one who told me to be thinking about them..." defensively protested the man behind him.

"Why are most of them crossed out?" Alois questioned before squinting. "Oh, I see. There's notes next to them of you talking yourself out of them."

To this, his spouse did not reply. He only made a noise of discomfort while the menace giggled. "What are you hiding for? All of this is incredibly tame. It's not like you wrote some freak-nasty shit. It's cute how you considered my feelings, but it's okay to want stuff, you know."

"Yeah, but it's not fun if you're not having fun..."

"These seem pretty fun, actually. I may or may not have thought a bout a few, myself…" Alois confessed. "Let's try 'em! We'll need to get our hands on a few of these things, first, though."

"We-we don't need to do those, if you don't want..."

"I want to. You want to. The feeling's mutual. I think we still have a few things in storage. What all did Dan get us for our honeymoon again?"

"That prank gift you wouldn't let me throw away?" questioned the bluenette. "Who knows… We only glanced inside once."

"Well, let's look again! Wanna get started tonight?"

"Uh… Didn't you want to plan out a few of your 'missions' tonight?"

"I mean after! It's okay if you don't want to, though. There's seriously no need to rush. I've already pushed your boundaries quite a bit, today."

"No, no… I'm okay with it… It's just… I think I need to lay down a minute and process all of this." Ciel stated, propping his chin up on his husband's shoulder. "You've seriously thrown me for a loop, this time..."

"I know… I'm sorry… Go change into comfy clothes and go lay down. We can talk about murder in a bit."

"Alright..." Turning his head, he kissed the side of Alois', before letting go of the other man and standing up. "You're still a pain in the ass."

"I'm still your pain in the ass." Alois replied as Ciel walked away. The bluenette waved him off while the menace wondered if he was really alright with all of this.

They would have to have a rather serious conversation after the Watchdog had some time to himself to reflect. In the meantime, Alois was going to have to seriously think about what he had done. He knew that Ciel didn't like conflict with him, so he wondered if the bluenette was trying to shrug the situation off. Poor Ciel might actually be a bit hurt by all of this, but right then was not the right time to find out.


A/N: This is not resolved yet. The next chapter might be quick, depending how it all goes down. I honestly don't know...

I'm tired...

And I have a question:

"...Also You Seem Pretty Okay With Writing About Touchy Subject's Why?" by Inferno-Sama35678902

That honestly depends on what you consider to be a "touchy subject," because I honestly don't think I write about that many? It's kind of like when I want to talk about something that is an issue, I feel like it's actually somewhat important to talk about specifically because it is an issue. I'm not really sure how else to explain it. While I'm "okay" with it, it is actually kind of weirdly technical? I don't do this without serious thought. I don't just jump into like "I'll write about this now!" I have to seriously think about how I do it or else it'll suck.

There's still a lot of shit I actually haven't written about yet because I haven't yet constructed the right way to present it. It's not as simple as slapping words on a page. You have to choose very carefully how you go about something, or it can totally backfire. You have to have in your head very clearly the message or idea that you're trying to get out there and then you have to have a solid plan on how to make that work. If you're kinda wishy-washy about it, you can fuck up big time because you just don't understand what you're actually trying to talk about! How can you talk about something that you don't even understand? It's not gonna work.

I worry a lot about whether or not something seems gratuitous or not. Like, "is this here just to be shocking, or does it actually add something to the story?" It's a question you have to ask yourself and answer honestly. If you can't, then you have no business writing about the thing. I've actually cut shit in the past because after looking at it, I thought it actually might have painted something that is absolutely heinous in a positive light by mistake! It didn't add anything to the story, it was just there to be ~scandalous~ or whatever, and that's something you seriously have to be careful about. Even if you would never intentionally do so, it can seriously happen and its so easy to do by mistake.

For example, with the Trancy stuff in chapter 522, I described some pretty awful shit that happened at the Trancy estate. That's shit that you have to be REALLY careful about when you're giving detail. I gave quite a bit of information, there. There were about two paragraphs worth of kind of horrific shit, but I could have made that longer. I could have gone into graphic detail about the shit that probably went down. I could have written pages and pages of shit that would make you wanna bleach your brain after you read it, but I didn't. I couldn't. I shouldn't have. If I did it that way, it would be way too much. I would have alienated the audience and caused far more revulsion than absolutely necessary. Nobody would be on the same page. Instead of paying attention to the impact of what's going on and it's significance, you would instead be focusing on "what the FUCK did I just read and how do I forget it ASAP?" It would have ruined the entire chapter. That's why I gave enough information that you knew the basics, instead. The audience can fill in the gaps. It was enough to carry emotional weight and for the audience to understand the gravity of the situation and have an idea of the scale of it all. It was enough for the audience to kind of get an idea of what Alois had seen and experienced. Not only all of that, I feel like it's also incredibly disrespectful? It would be like I'm making a big spectacle out of ungodly magnitudes of horrific human suffering. The focus is no longer on the feelings of those involved, it's instead on the gritty details of everything they endured. It would be an incredibly insensitive portrayal. You always, always, ALWAYS need to consider that when writing about sensitive subjects and people get it wrong all the time.

I don't think the thing is whether or not I'm okay with writing about "touchy" subjects, because A LOT of people are and do. What's more important is how you go about doing that. It might seem like I'm more "okay" in comparison to a few others, but I really don't think that's the case at all. I worry about it a lot! (as evident by the essay I just wrote) I'm always thinking "is this too much/too little?" There's always so much to think about and consider before I decide to carry out a particular idea, so it's never like "this is no big deal at all!" I'm very, very concerned with what I'm doing.

I feel like that's sort of similar to the reason why this chapter is also gonna be relevant to the next chapter? I feel like Alois was totally selfish here. Anime logic says that this shit is hilarious, so that's what I was kinda going for, but as I went on, the reality kind of sunk in that "this is kind of a shitty thing to do."

Ah, we'll get it sorted, eventually.

Until the next chapter, my duckies~!