Ponyboys POV

I woke up early the next morning it was still dark outside, but the sun was just starting to come up and I could hear birds starting to sing. Then I remembered that I was going into surgery this morning and I had no clue why. I was scared out of my mind. I shivered and pulled the blanket closer to me with my good arm. I lay there in bed slowly listening to the hospital come alive, it started buzzing with excitement, I didn't even realize time passing. That was until the doctor came into my room, I got a sick feeling int the pit of my stomach.

"It's time for your surgery Ponyboy"he said to me as two orderlies came into the room

"why am I going into surgery?"I asked my voice sounded tired

"didn't your brothers tell you?"he asked

My brothers? Oh right, those boys, I almost forgot about them, I guess my memory is never going to be good anymore. I wish I could remember.

I nodded my head at the doctors question

"well other than you losing your memory, your internally bleeding"I gave him a confused look

he sighed and tried again to explain

"In the accident you were hit very hard, we were actually surprised you survived but thankful and so were your brothers. Anyway in this accident your brain got ruptured hence the loss of memory and in your abdomen also. Now your body is bleeding but on the inside which is why your getting all those nasty bruises all over your body"

I nodded

"but I only see a few bruises on my arms"I said

"you haven't seen your abdomen"the doctor said

that statement made me feel sick

"could I see it?"I asked

"do you want to?"

I nodded but I wasn't sure if I was telling the truth

The doctor whose name was Dr. Mac lifted up my gown to reveal my stomach, which I felt I was seeing for the first time. I haven't seen my body except for my arms, I wonder what I look like? But the sight that met my eyes sickened me and I couldn't believe that that was my stomach. It was a hideous black and blue, I was surprised I wasn't feeling any pain there. Even though a shot of pain would occasionally pass through my body. I looked away and Dr. Mac pulled my gown back down and ordered the orderlies to lift me onto the moving bed that would bring me into the surgery room. Suddenly I realized that I was scared to death. I started trembling and was coming close to hyperventilating I just felt like someone was holding my chest down. It hurt to breath.

"Try and relax Pony"Dr. Mac who was walking next to me said calmly

I looked up at him with fearful eyes

"doc, what are the odds?"I choked out

he looked down at me as we entered an elevator

"for a kid in your health condition and state?"

"Slim"

A hot wave flashed over me and I couldn't breath, what? Slim? That meant not good, right? Oh shit, I don't wanna die!

"Easy Pony, you got a bit better your going to be able to pull through, I don't believe we waited to long to have this surgery, you should be alright"

But his words did nothing to ease me and I started hyperventilating for real, was he allowed to say that to me? Isn't he suppose to say you'll be fine, even though I wanted the truth. He looked down at me with pity and then I realized that to him I was just another stupid greaser, stupid hood that should be gotten rid of. I was just another kid that cause trouble and got into fights for fun, I was worthless. But as a doctor maybe he looked at me like I was a kid? Just another kid that is hurt because of a drunk driver? Or in his eyes was I really just a good for nothing delinquent? Life is no fair for a greaser, I hate being judged. It was weird waking up to those boys faces, but I wanted to see them again, I knew from the second I saw them that they were poor. Hoods. I guessed I was one too, and I didn't like being judged. I thought it was funny, that I didn't even remember my social standing in life.

A mask was placed over my face and I was told to count to ten

one

am I gonna die?

Two

I don't wanna die.

Three

I wonder what my parents were like

four

I miss those boys in the room, even If I don't even remember their names..

Five

I hate this

six

am I suppose to feel tingly?

Seven

the rooms starting to fade

eight

that's a funny feeling

nine

like your being forced to sleep

ten

I want to live. Just so I can remember..

Darkness

so how was that one? Please reviewww

I know this chapter was quite short, im sorry! I'll try and make the next one longer!