CHAPTER 2: it's all so very pointless
In which the villains bond and Satoru goes sightseeing in Hokkaido.
"Better mad with the rest of the world than wise alone." - Baltasar Gracian.
She has always been confident that she's been through some pretty fucked up shit in the short twenty-three years of her life. Nothing should've fazed her anymore.
But this really does take the cherry on top of the cake.
Rebirth. Reincarnation. Re-embodiment.
Or any other word that can be synonymous with re-freaking-birth.
It's exactly as she suspected. This is real—she isn't floating in an illusion, desperate to get away from an unfavourable reality. Maybe she's in shock or just wasn't taking it all in yet, but she feels no panic because unexpectedly, it takes her no time at all to get over the mess of emotions, of the memories that aren't lost in the process of reincarnating into a new life (she's pretty sure something botched up somewhere and really, can she call this a 'life'?). Or maybe, she's just insane.
But in totality, she understands there's no denying it any longer.
She had been blessed with the misfortune—at first, she'd wondered if it's actually more fortunate before she decided, no, it's damn rotten luck—of inhabiting the body of a young woman named 'Shuna' in the Jujutsu Kaisen universe.
A large part of her wishes there's nothing much to do at the start of her journey, but there is. A fair handful. Mainly, the useless overarching question of what did she want to do now?
She didn't have an attachment to her previous name, so the choice of settling with Shuna is easy. She didn't have any desire to go back to her own world either. And she figures it isn't worth her time to get involved in the dangerous world of sorcery and curses, so she vows never to tell anyone what she knows (not that she thinks anyone will believe her).
Want not care less has been her mantra all her life. And she plans to stick to it now too. Want nothing, care about nothing, and you'll peacefully live out your days. The lesser the expectations, the lesser the disappointment and the lesser you interact with worldly matters, the happier you'll be. Like a leaf riding the gales of the winds, she will simply drift along with the current to wherever life takes her.
It's all pointless anyway.
The weak do not have a choice. Its better to resign herself to her fate now. She even argues it might be for the better, however crazy that sounds.
It is easier said than done though.
'Shuna', as she comes to quickly learn, is apparently deeply embroiled in whatever the big baddies of Jujutsu Kaisen are up to. Mahito takes no time at all to explain certain things to her, which mostly consisted of him whining about how "tedious" it was to steal her body from the sorcerers— what, am I supposed to be grateful? —and how a world where cursed spirits reigned as true humans won't be far from now. She thinks Mahito lacks in creativity.
She listens and refrains from speaking much because a part of her understands the precarious situation she is in, no matter how vague it is.
But there's no avoiding it when Mahito, not surprisingly, grills her with questions: how old are you, show me your cursed technique, what does that samurai dude want with you (she muses it's a good tidbit to know it's the main antagonist who's plotting something diabolical involving her, it's all so very dramatic).
"I don't know," Shuna answered dryly back then.
"You… don't know?"
"I don't remember anything," she lied, because well, it's the half-truth.
"Hm. Well, there's that then."
She isn't sure if Mahito brought her convenient 'amnesia' excuse. But he didn't seem to have a particular interest in her—like he really couldn't care if she was lying to him or not. Shuna didn't press further too, grateful she had passed over that hurdle. With Mahito's ability, she assumes he might've already obtained what he wanted to know.
There's really nothing much she can do if Mahito decides not to trust her. She didn't even know what she is. A fledgling cursed spirit? A cursed womb? Something else?
In the end, Mahito stopped asking questions and instructed Shuna not to leave the room (more accurately, he puts it across in a lackadaisical manner that roughly translates to—try to escape and I'll kill you slowly and relish in it). Shuna didn't think to protest. She has a feeling it's more for her safety than anything else. For all Shuna knows there's a fat bounty on her head and jujutsu sorcerers hot on her heels.
It isn't like she has any plans.
One week into her reincarnation, on a seemingly boring evening (yes, boring because surprisingly nothing much really happens when you're a willing captive), Mahito appears in her lovely cage with a box of cards, a novelty he found while lurking in the cities, and demands to play it with her.
Mahito was gone most of the time, probably busy with whatever plans the villains were up to, but he often drops by with weird things and games that pique his interests. Shuna had yet to meet Jogo and the rest of the lackeys. She discerns that they haven't manifested yet at this point in time. Perhaps Mahito is still seeking them out. She didn't ask for obvious reasons (cite: it won't do her any good to reveal she knows about them and she's pretending not to know).
"You don't talk very much do you, Shuna-chan?"
The sun is starting to set outside, shining through the single circular window and painting the room dark gold. Shuna and Mahito had made themselves comfortable on the tatami mats near the low table. A cup of lukewarm sake and a plate of mochi sits by the side. Shuna focuses on her stack of cards as she sips her sake and ignores Mahito's intrusive gaze.
Today's game is called UNO.
"You," Mahito continues, "don't ask questions."
"Is there a need to?" Shuna places a red card down. "It's your turn and if you cheat again by seeing the reaction from my soul, I'm not playing with you anymore."
"Ooo, how scary," Mahito smirks. "You know, Shuna-chan, I'm starting to suspect that you didn't lose your memory after all."
She bristles internally but wills herself to stay calm. Shuna's certain she hasn't given anything away. "Why would you say that?"
"A book I read recently about an amnesic girl tells me so."
She frowns, "A book?"
"I'm trying to understand humans."
"And you think reading novels is the way to do that?"
"Books are nourishment for the soul," argues Mahito happily.
Shuna thinks that logic is flawed in his case, but she doesn't say it aloud. Mahito is crazy anyway.
"Anyway, the thing is," Mahito gets back to the topic, "the amnesic girl in the story asks a lot of questions; who am I, how do I know you, who is my family… but you? You don't do that at all."
Shuna's mistake is that she gives Mahito far too little credit. She should've known better, Mahito isn't Jogo with his blind temper. He's smart and she's starting to remember that now.
She nods sagely, "Because I was told silence is nourishment for the soul as well."
"Smart, I like that about you." Mahito follows with another red card. "But you're not very fun."
"If there's anything you think I need to know, you will tell me. It's a waste of energy to ask."
Mahito leans forward with interest. "Hm? You're acting like you know what my reaction will be."
Theoretically, Shuna will say she has a pretty good grasp on that.
"I'm good at reading the situation," she says smoothly. "Would you prefer it if I start asking then?"
"Why not? Go ahead."
Mahito is baiting her, the little bastard. But Shuna did enjoy his company a fair bit, mainly for his fondness of board and card games. It's stimulating because it's a new experience for her, having never experienced it in her prior life—a quick fix to ease her boredom.
Mahito watches her expectantly as she playfully tilts her head to the side and lowers her face to her knees, adjusting her robes and bringing her palm up to rest her cheek on, pondering.
Shuna smiles.
Fine then, she'll bite, why not?
"What do you plan to do with me?"
"Right down to business," Mahito laughs. "Nope, sorry, can't answer that question."
"Because you can't."
"Because I don't know yet," Mahito shrugs, "you're asking the wrong person. Go on, try another question."
"Will humans die because of me?"
"Do you not want that?"
Shuna's smile grows wider, creasing the corner of her eyes. Look at this cheeky asshole, answering her questions with his own ones. How useless.
She places a wild card down.
"You know what I am."
(What this body is.)
As if that's the question she posed was the one Mahito is looking for, he pauses, eyes twinkling in amusement. The glow of the golden hour warms his icy complexion. Shuna feels uncomfortable as he stares at her. There are a lot of things to hate in Mahito but Shuna hates his mismatched eyes the most. They remind her of memories she'd rather not have.
Slowly, Mahito's lips twist into a Cheshire-like grin and he shrugs, seemingly unwilling to divulge any secrets that he might or might not know. Shuna gets it. He's instructed not to say a word.
"See," she says, quite smug. "I told you, it's a waste of energy to ask."
"Not quite."
"Meaning?"
"You just helped me realize something."
Shuna's stare hardens. "And that is?"
He doesn't answer. Instead, Mahito picks up a mochi from the side and brings it to her lips. She didn't sense any danger so she bites into it, never taking her wary gaze off those heterochromia eyes. Mahito appears vaguely pleased with this complacent behaviour, thumb running across her bottom lip as she chews the soft delight.
"Without a doubt," Mahito says softly in wonder, each syllable frigid ice, "the eyes are the window of the soul, and you have a very honest soul… it shows what you are deep down, so why is it that you're acting like this…?"
The sweetness on her tongue is soon replaced by a sharp pain on her right cheek as Mahito grips her face. Shuna grimaces.
"I take it back, you are quite interesting."
Shuna fights to remain impassive as his fingernails scratch a cut on her face. In a pretty sadistic way, she can't help but marvel at how refreshing it is that Mahito is so openly vile. Perhaps it's a result of him being a construct of human fear—a cursed spirit built on that disgrace, that hatred, all of which were transgressions more powerful than any others.
Shuna prefers this ugliness to fake pretences. She can appreciate it.
"Are you going to kill me?" she asks flatly, calmly.
"Thinking about it."
"You won't. Not for now at least."
Mahito's glare darkens.
She smiles. "You need me, don't you?"
The cursed spirit purses his lips, analysing her countenance for a few seconds. Eventually, he laughs and lets her go.
"Clever little thing aren't you?" Mahito licks her blood off his thumb. "You're right, I want to, but I can't. Too bad, we've got work to do together, Shuna-chan."
She wipes her cheek. Bastard. "I'm bored."
"Shall I tell you something interesting?"
Mahito claps his hand, gleeful. Shuna refrains from sighing at his shift of mood.
"You'll like it I'm sure," he waves a finger to entice her.
She weighs her options and relents a shrug.
"You taste delicious."
She scoffs, "That's boring."
"Hmm, then how about this?" He points to her. "You behave more human than anything."
Her gaze strays to the plate of mochi. Ah. So that's what tripped the live wire. But what do cursed spirits eat? Do they even need to eat? Shuna digs through her memories, recalling how Sukuna was foretold to feast on human flesh and Mahito did swallow humans like delicious gobstoppers on the show…
Does this mean I'm a cursed spirit?
Shuna didn't dwell on the thought because it doesn't matter either way. In her humble opinion, it might even be a good thing. Fitting, she'll say.
"Doesn't seem like a bad thing to me," she says honestly. "I'm just acting as I please."
"Maybe, maybe," Mahito nods, "you never thought of trying something new? You're always complaining about how you're bored, maybe this is why. You don't know the thrill of life yet. The first step is to enjoy it. Here, let me show you something."
Mahito reaches into his pocket and places something on the table.
The faint stench of blood wafts to her nose. Shuna's face scrunches up.
A transfigured human.
Shuna analyses it critically as it twitches. It's a disgusting, morbid small thing, greyish-blue like the colour of Mahito's hair, only darker. The skin looks rough like the bark of a tree. The disfigured face garbles incoherently at her.
"What do you think?" Mahito asks proudly. "It's a human soul. Beautiful, is it not? Want me to tell you about it?"
I already know everything, you stupid patchy. Shuna is disgusted. Seeing it in the show and witnessing it before her eyes are two different things.
"I think I'll pass."
She stands, adjusting the sleeve of her yukata. Shuna goes to the circular window to gaze out at the courtyard. The setting sun casts long shadows behind her.
"Have you seen corpses before?" Mahito sounds disappointed. "You don't seem fazed by this at all."
Shuna shrugs. She has but she won't tell him that.
Mahito makes a disappointed noise, "I was hoping to see that terrified expression you had after seeing a curse the day you woke up. You were cuter like that, Shuna-chan."
And here comes the biggest downside of Mahito's company. For whatever reasons, Mahito appears to have found a hobby in eliciting reactions from her. Good luck with that though. Shuna is on to him since the time he visited her, splattered in blood from God-knows-where. It's mostly just a pain because the bloodstains got everywhere and the clean-up was a mess.
"Say… shall I take you from here?" he suddenly offers. "It'd be our tiny secret."
She turns to face him. Mahito looks right back to Shuna's dull expression and smiles innocently. He knows it's a rejection.
"Looks like you aren't interested in continuing today's game any longer," Mahito slaps his thighs and stands, "I'll bring something fun next time. How about monopoly?"
She nods to the transfigured human on the table. "Take that with you when you leave."
"Wha? But it's a gift!"
"I don't want it."
"How mean," Mahito whines. "You're no fun at all."
Shuna rolls her eyes. Ugh, whatever. She'll just get rid of it later. She briefly muses on how Mahito will meet his end in the–preferably–near future. In Gojo Satoru's hand probably? Maybe Yuji's. If Shuna lives that long, she'll see it happen. That'll be interesting.
"Oh yeah, have you made any progress?"
"I haven't." Truthfully, Shuna didn't even try. "I'm assuming you know what my technique is, Mahito."
"Yeah."
"Then why not just tell me? We're comrades, are we not?"
"Because it's not that fun that way. Struggle helps one grow."
Shuna doesn't know how she feels about being a source of entertainment for Mahito, but she did not particularly care either way. "Is something going to happen soon?"
"Not really."
"Then why the rush?"
"Hmmm, let's just say I want to see you break out of here yourself," Mahito's smile turns mischievous. "It'll be amusing to see that guy's face get all twisted up."
Shuna understands now. Conspirators or not, there's no love between Geto and the cursed spirits but Shuna does not want to be used as leverage against each faction. It's too troublesome.
"I'm not leaving," Shuna says. "Don't worry." I don't even think I can.
"Oh?" Mahito muses. "Hmm, do you want me to help you then?"
Her face crumples slightly as she recalls what happened to Junpei when Mahito used his curse technique to awaken his innate ability. No way she's letting Mahito use his technique on her.
"No thanks."
"Okay then," Mahito says airly. "See ya, Shuna-chan!"
Shuna didn't watch Mahito leave. Instead, she counts the leaves on the willow tree outside the courtyard. A single bluebird chirps one of the branches, twitching its small head to look at her with its beady black eyes.
Shuna blinks.
Are you lost too?
They peer at each other through the wooden bars. She smiles at it.
Go now. You have wings, just fly away.
"He….lp…. me…"
She hesitates and turns her head around slightly, studying the ugly, shrivelled clump that was once a human. Its face is contorting in agony. Shuna can feel a faint energy aura of sorts around it swirling in agitation. Shuna looks back at the bird.
"Don't talk," she says blandly.
"He…lp….me…."
"You're noisy. I'll feed you to Mahito."
"….it…hur…ts…"
"I don't care. I'm probably a villain in this story you know." She always is one.
She laughs and shakes her head. In all the crazy things she had done in her life, attempting to have a conversation with a transfigured human tops the list.
"Pl…ease…kill….me…"
Shuna's expression warps. She walks to it. A few breaths pass and she reaches out before she thinks, no, and retracts it back.
How can she even help something when she can't even help herself?
Exhaling, she sits and plops her head down, sprawling her upper body on the table. The loose robes of her yukata fell slightly off her shoulders; white silk embroidered with blood-red maple leaves. She stares blankly at the transfigured human close to her face and pokes it.
"Any normal person would've been scared of you, huh?"
Tears bubble from its hollow eyes.
"Shall I put you out of your misery, hm?"
What a useless thought.
Something warm drips down her cheek. She wipes the blood and licks it out of curiosity. A sharp tang of metallic iron coats her tongue. It tastes of rust and salt. Delicious? Not quite so.
"He…lp… me…"
Shuna claps her fingers around the transfigured human. You poor, poor thing.
Is it not funny, how some things never change?
Outside, the blue songbird sings a beautiful evening tune.
Getting to Hokkaido takes more work than expected. Hokkaido is a sacred, holy land—the only place in Japan that Master Tengen's barriers do not reach and protect. Apparently, Ijichi says it's necessary to go through the formalities about their visit with Ainu Jujutsu Company since Hokkaido is their prefecture. He didn't want to alert their barriers and trip their alarms, not that Satoru thinks it will happen since they are all registered sorcerers, but Ijichi is insistent, ever the worry-wart.
"We just need to inform them we're coming," Ijichi says, typing on his phone. "Maintaining relations with Ainu is important, Gojo-san."
Satoru heartily disagrees. So he dumps Ijichi and teleports away after they make a stop outside of Hokkaido before Ijichi even notices.
He spends the afternoon frolicking in Hokkaido, dropping by a small café in a bookstore and cruising through the shopping malls and districts. As he walks, Satoru hums to himself and happily holds open a booklet of a simplified map of the central district. There are several red circles drawn on it. Ijichi has already marked out all the popular shops to visit. The roads of Sapporo are like that of Kyoto, designed in a grid pattern. As long as one looks at the road signs, it's hard to get lost.
As Satoru casually purchases ice cream from a passing road store, he checks his phone while he waits for his order.
From: Ijichi Kiyotaka
[Recieved] Gojo-san!
[Recieved] Where are you?
[Recieved] I already got a reply from Ainu.
[Recieved] They said they'll send an escort to welcome us and guide us to the site.
[Recieved] Wait, did you go to Hokkaido already?!
[Recieved] Or did you go back to the school?
[Recieved] Gojo-san?
Satoru hums. He didn't want an escort. He supposes a supreme traditionalist faction like Ainu is just being courteous in their welcome since he's the head of the Gojo Clan or whatever, but Satoru can't be assed to care. It's all just an unnecessary fuss. He takes a selfie of himself in front of the ice cream stand with a peace sign, sends it to Ijichi, and types a reply.
[Sent] Send me a list of all the managers available in Hokkaido.
To no one surprise, Ijichi's reply is instantaneous.
[Recieved] I see… you're already in Hokkaido…
[Recieved] I understand. I'll send it to you soon.
Satoru licks the soft cream skilfully so as to let it spill. Milk-flavoured, because that's the recommendation. He figures that while he's at Hokkaido he should scout for potential spots to host his next lesson. In a district like this, there are bound to be many curses. Yuta and the rest of his students are currently on break after the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons, but Satoru figures it'll be nice to bring them out of Tokyo once in a while. Satoru himself has only been to Hokkaido a handful of times for missions, once when he was a teenager with Suguru—
He pauses despite himself.
Ah right, he realizes belatedly, Suguru is dead. I killed him.
The reminder leaves Satoru with a film of acid coating his tongue. He licks the ice cream to remedy it. It doesn't work.
"It's just that in this world, I couldn't smile from the bottom of my heart."
Fuck that. Stupid last words. Smile from the bottom of his heart? Bullshit. Suguru did smile. He smiled a lot around him. And if those weren't fucking genuine, then was their entire friendship fake too? Satoru is angry. Even now, ten years later, Suguru still somehow knows which button to push and what to say to get him to doubt himself. So fuck him. Some best friend he is. Some one and only. We're the strongest together? Hah, that fucker.
The Honored One could've made that world for him.
Suguru knew that too, but he still left.
It has taken Satoru ten years to accept that they've grown, changed and are destined to grow only further and further apart, ever aware of their common origins and history. Once when Shouko is down in her cups, she says it's pitifully ironic because they're chasing after the same thing; the ability to rewrite the world and that whichever of them stands over the other corpse at the end will be one who sees their dreams to fruition.
Satoru does not doubt for a moment he'll be the victor. He has always known this since the day of his awakening. No, since he was born. He's the Honored One, the God who refuses to reap the offerings of mortals the day Amani died. But it's a bitter reminder because being the only one means that he's alone, forever to transcend above others. He does not know if it's Suguru who had chosen that for him or if that's the curse he's been saddled with since birth.
Fuck him.
Suguru didn't even give him a chance. Bastard.
Fuck him.
A figment of Suguru appears in the crowds, "You could do it, Satoru."
Satoru wants to throw his ice cream at him, and he even has half a mind to Hollow Purple the shit out of this damn place, because that looks pretty tempting now.
Then why didn't you fucking ask—
Satoru reels his thoughts in before they can fester, and once again, reminds himself he has made a choice—reigning as the strongest might not be his choice, but paving the way for the strongest to come was.
He likes his students. Satoru doesn't like much else.
The mirage of Suguru disappears and melts in the crowds. Satoru smiles, relieved and mentally says a final fuck you for ruining his day. He's halfway down his ice cream when he senses the presence of someone's cursed energy and slows down.
"Oh man," he sighs. "I'm not even done sightseeing…"
And here comes the tedious useless formalities. So pointless. Excellent guy that Ijichi is, he's needlessly diligent in his work.
He turns and to no surprise, finds himself meeting an unknown sorcerer. Or maybe he has met him, but Satoru doesn't care to remember people much. He knows he's from the Ainu Jujutsu Company judging from the red robes he has on. He wonders if Ijichi informed Ainu of his location but Satoru hasn't been making an effort to hide the presence of his massive cursed energy, so it's anyone's guess.
As his soft cream flattens, Satoru munches at the cone rudely. He lifts a lazy brow as the sorcerer bow deeply at the waist.
"Gojo-sama, welcome to Hokkaido."
Out of all things Shuna expects to encounter in her new life, boredom is the last thing on the list. It's a wrong emotion to have in light of the bigger picture but she reckons that the main events of the plot have yet to begin. With so many question marks unanswered, she decides that the best route for her is to take it day by day.
Upon further inspection of her lovely cage, it's obviously refurbished and meant to house her. Shuna does not have a clue where she is, but she didn't really bother to find out either. Because what was she to do if she were to escape here?
There's no point because there's no place for her out there.
If what Mahito told her is true—that she was once an immobile body that Kamo Noritoshi created in the Meiji Era and that he had stolen her from the sorcerers to awaken her—then obviously she's a cursed entity, and obviously, that meant that jujutsu sorcerers will exorcise her first chance they get, and obviously, she will die.
Shuna does not want to die, but she is not entirely convinced she is worth life either. In the end, though, the choice has never really been hers.
It's all so very pointless to think about it.
So she spends her days gazing out the windows and waiting for something to happen as she did in her past life. Hardly anyone comes to the compound she's at, save for a few servants who deliver her meals and other necessities at intervals throughout the day.
The servants assigned—curse users under Geto's command, Shuna supposes—did their best to remain cordial and formal but it's hard to miss the way they look at her when they thought she wasn't looking.
Fear. Reverence. Curiosity. Disgust.
(Is it not funny, how it all remains the same?)
They seem more or less pleased by her complacent behaviour, the occasional servant braving small talk as the days passes. Shuna suspects Mahito or Geto has something to do with their diligent service. Maybe they threatened them? Everything she wanted and needed was delivered and they answered everything she wanted to know. Which frankly wasn't much, just things like what's the year and how to turn up the thermostat.
Towards the end of her first week since her rebirth, she did get a little fed up with their constant fussing, so she started to get more outrageous with her demands, just to see how far she could push it for the heck of it.
For the record, she discovered she could push it, very, very far. It's a little too late when servants shuffled into her room in a single file with the entire manga collection of One Piece, a golden statue of The Goddess of Mercy, a fifty-inch plasma television, sake and cigarettes, and a full course sushi meal from a famous posh restaurant in Ginza.
"It's all been delivered, my lady."
They're all crazy. But who is she to judge? All jujutsu sorcerers are all crazy anyway.
Shuna didn't pay much attention to the servants, maintaining an indifferent approach. She knows that she can't trust them. Perhaps all they see her is a tool, or maybe a necessary comrade. And they're boring.
Except for one.
"Shuna-sama, you look to be very fond of that bird. I'm glad."
The servant, a simple girl of sixteen by the name of Jun kneels behind Shuna. She works the oiled wide-tooth comb in her black hair. Shuna hums and stares at the birdcage on her lap. The blue songbird had stopped singing ever since she got fed up with how it wouldn't fly away and requested the servants to capture it for her.
She taps against the birdcage. Sing, little one, why won't you sing again? Are you sad? Lonely? Hurting?
It's just a cage, you'll get used to it, I promise.
Jun presents her with a box of accessories. "What hairpin would you like to use today?"
"You can just pick something for me, I'm not fussy."
Jun smiles sweetly and rummages through the box. Shuna can tell the girl is putting serious thought on her choice. Shuna prods the birdcage again for a reaction. The bluebird does not look at her, its black eyes fixating on the circular window where a cool breeze drifts in.
See, she muses. It's your fault you know, you should've flown away when I told you to.
"This one suits you best, I think!" Jun says cheerily. "You're so beautiful, Shuna-sama. I never thought the person I'll be serving would be such a beauty."
Shuna glances up at the mirror. There's a camellia flower hairpin embedded in her hair. Jun beams behind her, proud of her work. Shuna supposes dressing up a lifeless doll is fun but Jun's smile irks her.
"Do you not find my eyes strange, Jun?"
"W-Wha? No! Not at all, Shuna-sama!" says Jun. "They're probably the best part about you, it's like I'm staring at red rubies!"
Shuna nods slowly. Strange child.
Or are red eyes common here? She thinks not.
"Do you want to do anything today, Shuna-sama? How about taking a quick stroll in the gardens? The weather is really nice this morning. It's no good to remain in your room all the time, my elder sister said that some sunlight will do wonders for your mood."
Shuna plays with the sleeve of her yukata as she mulls Jun's suggestion over. She smirks, maybe I should go crazy?
"Shall I?"
"Yes, yes!" Jun says happily, clapping her hands. "I can be your guide if you like, ah—uhm... I know I've been working here for only a week… but I know this place very well already! There's a really nice pond in the courtyard by the entrance! I love going there during my break and the flower garden has just bloomed too, I'm sure you'll like it! The gardenias are so beautiful!"
Shuna listens to the bubbly girl patiently, nodding. Watching Jun is rather therapeutic in a sense; a jovial cute thing, young at heart and fearless. Jun didn't look at her in the fearful way other servants did. Though Shuna does wonder if her oblivious bordered on sheer stupidity. Shuna enjoys Jun's company because she's invigorating, a brief reprieve from that snake Mahito and every other boring servant in the damned place.
"Ah… but I'll have to get master's permission, right?" Jun sighs dejectedly in realization. There's pity in her voice. "I really do hope the master allows you to leave soon."
The master Jun is referring to is likely Geto. "Do you not know why I'm confined here, Jun?"
"Eh? Is it not because of your poor health?"
Shuna understands. Jun probably assumes she's a young, sick lady of a rich household. "Well, you can say that."
"A-Are you feeling ill anywhere perhaps? Shall I call for a doctor?"
"No," Shuna dismisses her. "I'm fine."
She ponders how the villains managed to recruit a silly girl like Jun. Black market, perhaps? Unlike most of the servants, Jun couldn't see Mahito. Jun's Cursed Energy is barely the flicker of a match. Shuna only notices it now when she searches for it. Jun's no sorcerer by any means. Maybe she's even unaware of the jujutsu society.
Or perhaps she's one of those strange ones…
She caresses the top of Jun's head. The girl's eyes goes round. "Shuna-sama?"
Silly lamb, how did you wander into a den of lions?
"Jun," Shuna says. "I think I like you very much."
"W-Wha?!"
"I enjoy your company, truly."
Jun flushes red. "Uhm…"
"But you should leave this place."
"S-S-Shuna-sama?!" Jun stammers. "D-Did I do something wrong?!"
Shuna shakes her head patiently to calm her. "No, you didn't."
"Then why?"
"This just isn't a place for you, take my advice and leave when you can."
"But I like this job," Jun pulls at her sleeve, "The servants can get pretty scary at times but since the master is hardly around… there isn't much work to do. And… the pay is generous too."
"Are you in need of money?"
"I… well…" Jun peeks up nervously. "My elder sister passed away last month… I don't have any parents but I do have two younger siblings… they depend on me now so…"
That explains it. Maybe the silly girl sees her sister in me. Shuna slides the box of accessories to her. "Take it, could probably sell for a fair bit outside."
"S-Shuna-sama?!" Jun frets, arms failing, "No, no, no, how could I possibly take—"
"I don't need it," says Shuna. "Pointless."
"W-What?! Don't say that!" Jun shouts as she flounders about, "Shuna-sama, these are for you! We were told to ensure your utmost comfort! If you don't like these, I can put in an order to get some more!"
Shuna waves her hand as if to shoo the notion away, "Take it as a reward for serving me well. It'd be put to better use with you, trust me." I'll probably die soon anyway, and the world will follow the canon route.
"B-B-But—"
"Jun," Shuna says firmly.
Jun settles down. She clutches her hands in front of her chest and smiles at the floor. "I am flattered you care so much for me, but you've already treated me very well… I… I…" A shade of pink tinges her cheeks. "I like… serving you… I don't want to go."
Crimson eyes studies Jun, not quite satisfied or convinced. Shuna knows the girl is sweet to her only because of the current image she's portraying. She decides to leave the girl be for now, at least, ignoring the strange way Jun is looking at her as she takes the birdcage to her knees again.
"Suit yourself," she sighs. "Come to me if you change your mind."
"Okay…"
Shuna unlatches the door and grabs the bird's body. She strokes the back of its head as she walks over to the window. The bird chirps and looks back at her in surprise, hopeful. Shuna smiles. Such a tiny, fragile thing.
If she grips it any harder, it'd break.
"How cute it is!" Jun comes over to her shoulder to take a look. She laughs adorably. "Shuna-sama, do you think it wants to go out? Look at how it keeps staring at the gardens!"
"I don't think so." It's a lie.
"I wonder where it's mate though?"
"Mate?"
"Ah, didn't you know? My sister told me that bluebirds usually come in a pair and they stay together for life." Jun coos at the bird, giggling. "This one is a little loner, I see. Thankfully, he's with you now, Shuna-sama."
Shuna stares at the bird, blinking slowly.
Jun pokes the bird's head and suddenly perks up, "Oh, yes! I remember seeing the kitchen making Osmanthus cakes earlier, do you want a share? I heard it's very good!"
"Do you like them?"
"Me? Uhm… well yes."
"Hm. I see."
Shuna quietly stares out of the window again. She must've appeared quite lonesome, because Jun suddenly rubs her hands together before she nods resolutely to herself, eyes burning in determination.
"Shuna-sama, I'm going to ask if you can take a stroll too! Don't worry, I'll do my best—"
"Jun."
Jun falters, confused.
"I don't want to go out," Shuna strokes the bird. There isn't much of a choice for her and she shouldn't put Jun in danger. "But I'd like that plate of Osmanthus cake, will you share a plate with me?"
"O-Oh, yes, alright! I'll go and bring you some! Please wait a moment!"
The bubbly girl rushes to the wooden door and knocks a few times to inform the servants standing guard outside she's ready to leave. The door creaks open and the servant peers into the room, looking a tad fearful. The vastly different looks on Jun's and the other servant's face borderlines hilarious. Feeling mischievous, Shuna leans back to her alcove, acknowledging him with a playful smile.
A low, familiar pulse of her Cursed Energy crackles through the room. The servant pales but Jun rubs her arms, completely oblivious but uncomfortable with the sudden chill in the atmosphere.
"Jun."
The girl pauses. "Yes, Shuna-sama?"
Shuna eyes the other servant, smiling. "I mean it, you should leave. This place isn't anywhere good. There's no point staying here."
Don't stay by my side.
"But you're here too," Jun says, tilting her head, "if it's as bad as you said, why don't you leave too, Shuna-sama?"
The bluebird in her grasp lets out a sharp shriek, wiggling desperately to get free. You don't want to be around me too, huh? Smart thing. Shuna guesses animals are more sensitive to Cursed Energy.
Shuna brings the bluebird close to her face, nuzzling her nose to its chest.
"Go now, Jun. I'm hungry."
Is there any point in staying here too?
She lounges against the alcove of her circular window, looking outside at the garden and lake as she nurses a cup of lukewarm sake. Her long blue yukata drapes against the wall like a waterfall.
The faint taste of Osmanthus cakes lingers on her tongue despite the sake.
Shuna sighs.
"What a bunch of fools..."
Shoko Ieiri has quit smoking for the past five years. Initially, she did plan to drop the filthy habit by the time she graduated. Her parents often said it's not a doctor-like trait, but there's really no helping it when your classmate turns into a mass murderer in the third year of high school. Childhood is a thing often lost to jujutsu sorcerers, and while some had tried to leave like Nanami Kento, the jujutsu world is a drug injected into them without consent, and they are all addicted to it; the false promise of heroism exchanged for their heroes.
Shoko does not think she can ever leave the jujutsu society either, so she needs the cigarettes and alcohol.
But she's a doctor as Yaga likes to remind her by saying "it's not appropriate for our resident doctor to be a chain smoker, what will our students say?", and so Shoko forces herself to drop the habit, annoyed with him, even though she knows no one gives two shits. No sorcerer will blink a damn eye if she smokes herself to an early grave if they all drop dead like flies.
But yes, for the sake of Yaga's dumb students and Utahime's needless concerns that she'll collapse because of failing lungs (she probably would've if not for her cursed technique) she drops it. Shoko will settle for drinking herself to oblivion after hours instead.
Now though, as Shoko stands in the morgue which was just recently cleared out of the casualties from the Night Parade of a Hundred Demons, Shoko feels that perhaps it's the wrong choice. She has a headache. Suguru in his younger days was never this much of a trouble, never this much of a pain for her or anyone. He was a perfect model student; polite, kind-hearted, hardworking, and most importantly, just. Yaga's favourite among the three of them.
And now he's dead.
Her other classmate who eventually went on to become the promised God of the Jujutsu World killed him.
Hah. That's kinda funny now that she thinks about it.
"I'm a little worried about Satoru."
Shoko thinks it's a little weird that Yaga thinks that her morgue is the best place to air his worries or to sew the pink plush he's working on, but she doesn't say it.
"Let me guess, he finally snaps and turns into a mass murderer too?"
Yaga tactfully lets her dark humour slide. "There's nothing out of normal from Satoru's behaviour, thankfully."
Shoko wants to argue that 'normal' is hardly an adjective she wants to associate with Satoru. But she gets it. It's because Satoru is behaving 'normally' that Yaga is concerned. Suguru's deflection had hit Satoru in a way quite unlike any of them. In the end, it wasn't the God who abandons the human, but the human who loses faith in the God he never wanted. Ten years have passed since and while the tale has recently come to a close with the human's demise, the wounds of those he left behind are still throbbing and bleeding.
Shoko remembers Satoru's reaction when he first heard of Suguru's massacre of the village from Yaga. After the shock had worn off, he laughed, scoffed it off and asked if Suguru can still graduate because technically "he's just thought outside the box and just went kinda overboard for his senior thesis on practical application". Yaga was livid. Shoko, probably drunk, snorted sake from her nose. But Shoko knows and she sees his downward spiral after that, where Satoru throws himself into missions after missions as if to repent for Suguru's actions, and goes through a multitude of lovers like diarrhoea as if to make up for the lack of his presence.
Gods, she learns, are too made of clay. Shoko thinks the notion ironic.
"Cute," she remarks, "just give me a heads up if he snaps okay? I need to prepare the morgue. Hm, or maybe he'll do me the favour to kill me too?"
Yaga glares at her, the severe crease in his bushy brows deepening in a way that only happens when he talks with Satoru. Shoko spares him a shrug. Tokyo Jujutsu High has never been a nurturing place, so Yaga can't possibly expect any form of consolation from her. Plus, she can hardly be considered sane after having two arguably deranged Special Grade sorcerers for classmates. This is the best he has got. She's fucked up too.
These days, Shoko spends more time with the dead than the living, preferring the solitude that comes with the kiss of death. Satoru calls it creepily suicidal. She finds the accusation rich.
"Have you heard about the new mission assigned to Satoru?" Yaga decides to change the subject.
Shoko nods, she has heard about it from Ijichi when she spots him wobbling by the hallways, looking ready to pass out.
"About the stolen Special Grade Cursed Object from Ainu? Yeah."
"The Higher-Ups didn't want to assign the case to him."
Shoko has no sympathy. "You're the one who's going to deal with it, so good luck with that."
"You're snarkier than usual, Shoko." Yaga's words come out less harsh than resigned.
"Bad day, sorry," Shoko wishes for a cigarette now. "So, what's the problem now? Just let him be. But seeing as Ijichi is forbidden to talk about the specific details, I'm guessing it's a big deal."
"The Cursed Object is a body."
"Body?"
"Yes. A whole intact body of a woman," Yaga stresses. "The Higher-Ups want you to inspect it when Satoru retrieves it back and see if you can find a way to exterminate it permanently."
She takes a seat beside Yaga. In the short exchange, Shoko understands the situation. "Can't say I'm not interested in corpses. But in all probability, what they're thinking is just bogus."
"I agree. The Cursed Object has been immobile for nearly four centuries, it's probably stolen."
She shoots Yaga a look. "But if in a one in a million chance it's true… and the body is actually a Cursed Spirit or whatever and is actually awake now and escaped… they can't ignore it right?"
"You've always been quick to understand."
Shoko scoffs, "Yup, of course, they didn't want Satoru to know about a mission like this, as the lot who want to get rid of Yuta-kun."
"It's a decent decision, Satoru is stubborn."
"They're really looking down on him." Shoko frowns. "Do they really think he'll count on something like that? He won't side with curses."
"No one thought Suguru would go down that path either." Yaga's remark is barely above a whisper.
The signs are all there, we just chose to fucking ignore it, she wants to throw back. But Shoko backtracks because what's the point? What could they have done? She knows in the crux of power where only the strongest dwell, it's like walking on a straight line between heaven and hell. One misstep and they'll go tumbling down the abyss.
When Suguru was murdering a village in revenge for two abused young sorcerers, Shoko was healing a back-alley gangster afflicted by a malignant curse. Briefly, she wonders if Suguru is right. Then, she wonders if she's fucking insane too.
Funny how Satoru who holds so much power knows which line not to cross.
But in retrospect, Yaga is right, Shoko might've been too confident in her judgement. Satoru is unpredictable because he acts on whims. A God does not concern themselves with the opinions of monkeys.
There, happy, Suguru? I used your favourite term.
The entirety of the conversation and her thoughts exhausts her, Shoko decides to focus on work. "You could've told me this later when the Cursed Object was found."
"Satoru will come to you first," Yaga understands what she's implying. "I want you to report to me if he does."
"Ah-hah, afraid I'll go behind you?" Shoko laughs. "Okay, got it. I don't really like that ass either."
Yaga knows it's a lie. Shoko's one of Satoru's closest friends and Satoru does not have many, but he says nothing. Her phone buzzes and Shoko fishes it out of her pocket. She whistles.
"Speaking of the devil."
Shoko shows Yaga the screen which displays an incoming video call from Satoru. Yaga nods as a go-ahead but keeps himself out of the frame.
She faces the front camera and picks up the call.
"Yoo-hoo! Shoko!"
Satoru waves energetically. He's at the seaside, on a beach out of all things, loudly sipping on a strawberry frappe. Shoko grimaces at his loud voice, blinking lethargically because she has a headache.
"What?" she snaps.
"Whoa, you look like shit," Satoru comments. "Have you been sleeping in the morgue? Looks like you can use a holiday. Wanna come to Hokkaido? It's great here!"
Shoko rolls her eyes. She knows Satoru isn't a free man that can go to the northern part of the country just for a dumb vacation.
"I'd rather die."
Satoru sulks, "You'd rather die than do most things living people do."
"Yup."
"Aw, come on, Shoko! Want me to teleport you here?"
"What do you want, Satoru."
"Nothing! I was just killing time and got a feeling that Tokyo Jujutsu High's dearest doctor is suddenly missing the strongest, super handsome sorcerer Gojo Satoru—"
"Ew gross," Shoko gags. "I'm hanging up, bye."
Satoru laughs, stupidly pleased. "But seriously I need you to come up here."
"To Hokkaido?"
"Yeah. Or I can just bring it to you, could arrange it with Ijichi."
"Why?"
"I'll need you to examine something for me. I got a feeling about what it is, but I just wanna be sure."
Shoko refrains from throwing Yaga a sideways glance. She knows how perspective Satoru can be. "Don't bully Ijichi, he is busy enough already."
"Meh, I don't really care about a man's feelings."
Shoko snorts. "Just teleport whatever you want me to examine back, you can do that, right?"
"Don't wanna," Satoru whines, "Even if it's not impossible for me to do it by myself, letting my juniors handle bothersome things is the fastest way."
Shoko wants to punch him. "What is it anyway?"
"Nothing much, just the bodies of the Ainu sorcerers who died that night the thief got in. Apparently tasteless geezer at Ainu has been keeping it since then. Can you believe it? So nasty!" Satoru's smile is all too bright. "Get Yaga to fill you in on the details, okay? He's with you right?"
Yaga freezes mid stitch. Shoko bites back her laughter. She does not know how Satoru found out from the video call, but she reckons it has to do with his stupid Six Eyes. Maybe a shadow or something.
"Yeah. he's with me." Yaga shoots her a look that she returns with a resigned shrug. "Send me a picture of it first."
"Okay~" Satoru looks somewhere off-screen and she hears a 'Gojo-sama' in the background. "Oh, my order is here already! See ya, Shoko! Say hi to those geezers for me, Yaga! Tell them I'm doing great in Hokkaido, Ainu hospitality is great! Hahaha!"
Satoru hangs up the call before Shoko gets a chance to say goodbye. Yaga heaves a sigh that makes her think his lungs have flattened and puts aside his pink plush.
"Too bad," Shoko smiles smugly. "Better luck next time, eh?"
Yaga grunts. "That brat is getting more irksome the older he gets."
"Those friends you keep aren't any better," Shoko does not have much fondness for the Higher-Ups.
"I don't fight lunatics," says Yaga breezily. "Not when they pay us."
Shoko does not voice aloud that such a practice is the reason why the school operates under the thumb of the Three Great Families, oftentimes for the worse. She doesn't care to argue, that's Satoru's forte. She has her morgue.
A ping on her phone indicates a new message. Shoko clicks the messaging app while Yaga leans in to take a look.
From: Blindfolded Idiot
[Picture attached]
It's a selfie of Satoru near the Sapporo TV Tower, sporting a disgusting playful smirk on his lips while he poses like a model with his fingers raking through his hair. Shoko wants to punch him again.
[Recieved] Oops, wrong one.
[Recieved] Haha!
[Sent] Fuck you, Satoru.
[Recieved] Here, enjoy it, my photography skills are top-notch!
[Recieved] It's just the type of thing you like~
[Picture attached]
Silence befalls the morgue.
Yaga frowns, "He said it's the body of the Ainu sorcerers who were killed the night the body was stolen right…?"
"Yeah," Shoko thinks she needs a cigarette now. "He did."
"You think he's fucking around this time?"
Shoko purses her lips, "Unlikely."
They sit in stunned silence together, staring at the picture Satoru sent of the deceased Ainu sorcerer. The body of the shaman, or what was once a body, was greatly deformed, its bulging body a gruesome colour of blueish-grey, one large eye bigger than the other, jaws wide like a crocodile.
The fuck.
This is a human?
Shoko thinks it looks more like a curse than a human.
"Hey, little bird, what do you think of humans?"
The bluebird chirps in its cage.
Mahito lies lazily on the futon on his belly, watching Shuna lounging in the circular alcove by the window as she sips on her sake. Mahito wonders why she keeps looking out when there's nothing interesting there. Initially, he discerns she wants to leave, but he thinks otherwise now. She strange whims. Mahito doesn't understand many things about her. Or what Geto sees in her. Or how Shuna will help with their plans, but he admits that she is interesting.
Before Geto tasked him to retrieve her body so he could awaken her, he had told him a fair bit about Shuna. His mistrust of humans aside (he does not concern himself with the opinions of an inferior race), Mahito does not think Geto lies. The human's knowledge is abundant so he's useful. Geto said Shuna is an interesting person. Mahito agrees. Her reserves of cursed energy is extraordinary and it's eerie in feeling—like it wants to swallow you whole—and her cursed technique, if what Geto says is true, is formidable too.
But in Mahito's humble opinion, the most interesting thing about Shuna is her soul.
It's fascinating and intriguing. An oddity among all the souls he'd seen thus far. Mahito wants to study it some more.
"Why do you think I am the best person to ask this, Mahito?"
Mahito picks idly at the corner of the page of the novel he's on. He had spread it out on the futon so he could read. He makes plans to watch a movie later at the place called a theatre later.
"Because you like them," he remarks, "don't you?"
He has seen her with that servant girl many times, that one with the brown hair. Jun, is it? Mahito doesn't get what Shuna sees in the pathetic human. She's far too noisy for his liking and weak. To him, Jun is an irrelevant ant that can't even see him, nothing to remark on, but he senses Shuna is fond of her, even if she does try to hide it.
"I don't."
"So you find them disgusting."
"Yes, I do." Shuna's voice is bland. It's not a lie, but something tells Mahito it's not the entire truth either.
"Shall we go out and have some fun with them then? There's so many of them, the sorcerers won't even notice if a few of them go missing."
"No thanks."
"Why not?" Mahito pouts.
Shuna hums, an annoying habit she does to buy time so she can think through her answer. The outline of her soul remains calm and unperturbed, like a stable mountain, like Shuna had accepted from the bottom of her heart that the time she had left was counting down to zero, but she couldn't intentionally give up on life.
He likens it to an existence like mother nature, solemn and resigned.
Mahito imagines that Shuna has excellent control over her soul, or that she's very wary of him and his ability. He had guessed she knew the extent of it, though he doesn't know how. Such an odd little creature Shuna is—her face schooled and expressionless, red eyes still like a pool of blood. She's the polar opposite of the cursed sorcerer Geto who smiles often with a pleasing countenance.
He likes Shuna better than him.
"Because I don't particularly mind them," she replies carefully. "But I don't particularly like them either."
A neutral stance. That's good for Mahito to know. He's beginning to form a plan.
"Is that so?"
"If I find it necessary," Shuna says, "I will kill if that's what you're asking."
Mahito has a premonition.
It's like turning the page of a book and seeing that the content of the text developed in a direction that's not expected. Like knowing the contents of a box before opening it. Shuna looks at him.
"You're in my bed," she notes flatly. "That's rude, did you even take a bath?"
Mahito smiles childishly, unrepentant as he waves to her. He has seen Shuna sleeping on the futon and it seemed pretty comfortable, so he imitated her actions. Shuna is a great subject to learn how a human behaves (even though she technically isn't one). Mahito knows she wouldn't do anything either. Such massive reserves of Cursed Energy is wasted on her when Shuna plainly isn't interested in utilizing it. Or maybe she can't now. Mahito wonders how formidable she once was. Who will win if they fight? Maybe he should ask Geto the next he sees him, he knows a lot more about her than he does.
Shuna frowns. "And why are you asking this, Mahito?"
"Let me share one thing I find so disgusting about humans. Everyone in this world is bound by pretentious locks that humans inflicted on themselves," Mahito smooths the page of his book, a tale of a hero descending to madness and looking for a path to redemption, "so they suffer because they feel inadequate and toil to overcome their difficulties, but once they're satisfied, they desired more."
He looks up, observing the contours of her soul. "It's because of this that humans keep accumulating negative emotions, and their soul gets bigger as they do…"
Shuna's soul is large and while not necessarily unique, is atypical. She has no comments and Mahito doesn't push it. Shuna speaks little unless she has a purpose and she is fascinatingly hard to read. Actually, Shuna hardly seems interested in anything either. A trait Mahito hopes to change because that'll get boring quickly.
He wants to get to know her as she'll be a comrade later. Humans did say relations are important. Mahito thinks it's a reasonable way of thinking.
Maybe, Shuna does not see the thrill in life yet. Or maybe she does not see the enjoyment in basking in others' sorrows and misfortune. Mahito does not know, but he recognizes the potential.
Mahito looks back to his book, musing on his thoughts about the plot. "Do you think evil humans are worth redemption?"
"The soul precedes the body."
He shoots her a look that Shuna serves right back.
"You are your soul, you don't change it," she continues. "Talking about redemption is useless, some people are just born shitty, screwed in the head, crazy or cursed or whatever. Circumstances do not matter, you can't change the madness and misfortune ingrained in your soul."
"Hm? You really think that's true?" Mahito is surprised by her answer. This is the first time he'd heard her talk this much.
"That's one thing your books will never teach you about humans, Mahito," Her red eyes flash dark and disappears, immediately drowned out by light impaled by rays of golden sunlight. "Even if one tries to be a good person the propensity to turn shitty is too high in this world…" She shrugs. "Or maybe it's just fate… I don't know."
"What does that make me then?"
"You're a cursed spirit, Mahito," she states the obvious. "That means you're a shitty person, through and through."
Mahito grins, pleased with her answer.
"Then what are you?"
Shuna pauses briefly. She smiles at him, her gleaming canines peeking, and Mahito catches the contours of her soul ripple, however fleeting it is.
Mahito grins.
Oh. Look at that, a reaction.
"Probably something even worse."
sorry for the lack of updates. i tried to do some research on why Hokkaido is the only place in japan that does not have Tengen's barrier, yuki does say it's holy land, but alas there's just too much we don't know. gege stop tormenting us pls.
ty for the support. reviews are my blood!
