Author's Notes: Well, this happened quickly, lol. We already had this chapter mostly written in advance, so it only took a session and a half to finish.

Hope y'all enjoy! =3


Chapter Two: Kunai Wedding


It went without saying that Anko was very much not amused by Ami's explanation.

And thus, Anko, Ami, and Naruto stood in the Hokage's office later that day. While the outraged mother wasn't privy to the details, pretty much everyone in Konoha's shinobi forces knew full well by now that the old man was looking out for the little shit.

The man in question was an elderly and scrawny one with a pure white goatee and receding hairline, garbed in ceremonial robes of red and white. The hat he wore embossed with the kanji for fire and his black eyes bore the edge one could only find in a man who'd lived through no less than two world wars. Despite his age, though, he carried himself like the warrior he once was.

This man was Sarutobi Hiruzen, the Sandaime Hokage, their village's leader and the third man to take on that mantle.

Once she'd calmed her tits, Anko had dragged Naruto into his office to discuss what would happen next… while tossing him inside with what could only be described as a snarl.

"That brat's going to be taking responsibility!" Her tone left no room for argument, causing the old shinobi to look up at her, perplexed.

The news had yet to reach him…

As for Naruto… the blond couldn't bring himself to protest if he wanted to.

Never in his life was the blond as scared as he had been until after that snake-lady learned her daughter was pregnant with his... child.

...he was going to have a kid… he and Ami were going to have a kid!

...they were both still kids!

They haven't even graduated from the academy yet!

What the heck was he going to do?! How would he feed it?! Him― her, whatever?!

The thoughts both terrified and exhilarated him. He'd always wanted a family… Did this mean he and Ami were going to make a family now? Sure, he liked Sakura-chan… but Ami wasn't too bad…

She could be mean and inconsiderate at times, but was… actually pretty nice when she let herself relax… and she tended to make these cute faces whenever he pulled an orgasm out of her.

Maybe that's why she became less abrasive towards him? He certainly wasn't going to be complaining though…

Pushing those thoughts aside for later, Naruto spared a glance at the girl in question.

She'd been ready to take all the blame for this… in the face of her incredibly scary mother's wrath. That was something he had to respect. Didn't mean he'd listen to her, but dammit if that wasn't heartwarming!

The Sandaime, meanwhile, rubbed his temples; he quickly felt a massive headache encroaching after being given an explanation by the livid mother. He was getting too old for this… He sighed and looked straight into his pseudo-grandson's eyes.

"Naruto-kun, is all of this true?"

"Yes." The blond answered without missing a beat, a determined look in his eye. "And I already said I would take responsibility. Heck, if I have to, I'll quit the academy right now and get a job!"

The Hokage felt an immense measure of pride for the blond at that very moment. He knew, more than anyone, how heartfelt Naruto's dream of becoming Hokage was, even if the reasons were misplaced. To be willing to throw all that away and deal with the consequences of his actions, because he now had a kid on the way… it was a great measure of his character.

His mother would've been proud… after killing him, of course. And probably spoiling his babymamma rotten. (1)

But that's beside the point.

At the same time, though, the village couldn't afford to have Naruto be a civilian. His potential was too great. The power he held in him…

No, even if this boy did fail, the Hokage would have to find a way for him to become a ninja.

"Fortunately, that won't be necessary," Hiruzen assured. "You see, before Yondaime came to power and implemented the sexual education program, this happened far more often. It wasn't seen as a problem at the time because our village was constantly at war."

Thus resulting in more bodies to throw at their problems in a decade or so. Dark times… he was glad they were over.

"That being said, we have programs to assist those who… prematurely reproduce as it were. Ami-chan will be receiving some financial and medical aid to ensure she can have the child without issue." He smiled kindly at the girl, who returned it with a queasy smile of her own. "However, she will stop receiving it once she graduates."

Needless to say, he made sure that these programs were not well-known so as to mitigate abuse as much as possible, but there were those who slipped through the cracks… It was why he'd been taking steps to end those programs by the end of the year. The idea was sound, but people were often too greedy for their own good. And children should not be used like that…

But, he was willing to let the girl benefit from them until their genin exams to prevent Naruto from dropping out if needed. He wouldn't hear the end of it if the boy did such a thing…

"Yeah… graduate…'' the blond muttered. He was not so sure. "Well, even if I do fail, I'll find a way to support her." Maybe Ichiraku's will hire him? If not, he could always find work outside the village and send her the money...

Ami frowned at that, not knowing what to say. She'd never pegged him to be so selfless and responsible, not when he couldn't be bothered to come to class on time most mornings…

How could she have expected him to be so…

Grown up?

For her.

For their baby

Seeing it made her want to bring that out even more… to see the man she accidentally nabbed.

"Just make sure not to tell anyone about these programs," Hiruzen told them seriously. "The Yondaime's sex-ed program has all but made them obsolete and I don't want any in this 'Sasuke Fan Club' getting ideas."

Ami averted her gaze with a blush… she was still a member… in a way. And she'd caught wind of those programs after sticking her nose where it doesn't belong.

Her plan sorta backfired, to say the least… but oddly enough, she wasn't mad about it.

Because honestly… she couldn't imagine Sasuke being willing to drop the academy to feed a kid he'd made… He was certainly attractive, but a prince charming? That was sadly hard to picture.

"Yeah, that's great," Anko said, pleased that her little girl wouldn't be getting fucked over by the administration, like she'd been, back when she couldn't bring her troubles directly to the head of the entire village. But nobody told the Snake Bitch no these days. "But I still want to make damn sure a certain someone keeps his promise." She leered at Naruto, who stared back without flinching… too much.

"What do you propose?" Hiruzen asked, hiding a spark of amusement at their interaction.

"For him to move in with us so I can keep an eye on the brat,"

"What!? Mom, no!" Ami looked up at her mother, a look of horror on her face.

She didn't notice Naruto taking a step closer to her… "Ami." She jolted when he touched her shoulder, and turned to stare at him, baffled by the look in his eyes. ''...Do you want me to?"

"Na-Naruto!?"

The blond smiled half heartedly, but reassuringly. "I said I'd take responsibility,'' he pointed out with a shrug. "I don't go back on my word. That's gonna be my ninja way, y'know…"

Ami just… stared, unable to respond as she processed the blond's declaration, the fight being knocked out of her.

Anko, meanwhile, calmed down quite a bit upon hearing that, but still scowled at the boy who dared to defile her baby girl. "You'll do that by being her man," she warned, "or I'll take away what makes you a man."

Her tone even sent shivers down the Hokage's spine… (2)


Days later...

It didn't take long for word to get out that the village troublemaker knocked up the daughter of The Snakecharmer, Mitarashi Anko… and was now being forced into a kunai wedding.

Technically, a "snakebite to the nuts" wedding was more accurate, but that was neither here nor there.

Though it may be two days before said kunai wedding was to take place, the village carried on as usual, as not many people honestly cared about those individuals in particular.

As such, both of the naughty parties involved were still expected to attend the Academy like everything was completely normal.

But when they did…

"Mom told me she's a slut."

"Like mother, like daughter… her mom once slept with ten men in one night, I hear."

"Yeah… and it's no wonder she ended up with Naruto of all people. I always knew he was a pervert."

Naruto was… very confused to hear that to say the least. How did he give anyone that impression?!

Ami, meanwhile, looked rather… down, he noticed, so the blond wrapped his arm around her and hugged his girl close while sending some nasty glares at the girls.

Said plumette stiffened at first, but then melted into his embrace. It made her seem small… cute…

The caveman part of his brain got to work.

Must. Protect.

This of course didn't stop the many stares, pointed fingers, hushed whispers, and jeers from their peers, but it helped. The harshest and meanest of these insults and rebukes, naturally, came from the female side. No one hates women more than other women, after all, and that was only more true in their childhood years, when most of them still lacked empathy.

Truly, the world's cruelest creature was the human child. (3)

"Hey…'' Naruto whispered as he pulled Ami even closer, the plumette practically molding against him. "Don't let them get to ya. We'll be alright."

"I suppose," Ami muttered with a sigh. "It's usually pretty hard to get to me." Yet, for some reason, their comments were starting to sting a bit. "Worry about yourself, though," she continued, bitting her lower lip. "The shit I'm going through is not as bad."

"I'm used to it," he assured with a halfhearted chuckle.

The plumette did not like his response… at all.

"That just makes it worse!"

And of course, she'd played a part in it…

Naruto couldn't help but smile, rubbing Ami's back. "I'll be fine," he told her.

"...if you say so." She didn't sound convinced, but their conversation ended with that as the two of them simply enjoyed each other's company.

Ami hated to admit it, as it made her feel weak, but the blond was already proving to be a strong rock against which she could lean.

Eventually, the young couple found themselves in their homeroom class… and it was there one of the students got their attention.

"A-ano…" Naruto perked up, just barely hearing the timid mutter as Hinata mustered up the will to get his attention. "Y-you can… sit… by… by me," she said.

Beside the blushing girl in question were two vacant seats, which caused Naruto and Ami to exchange a glance. Then, they smiled. At least someone in this damn school was being civil.

Neither of them could help but notice the looks they got while sliding past the other students. The seat Hinata had taken was two away from the wall, meaning she'd be a barrier of sorts between them and the others. Naruto couldn't help but smile at her courtesy.

Weird as she might be, he slowly began to notice how kind she was.

Once they took their seats, however, Ami found her mood souring once more at the whispers. Most of them were about Naruto this time around and for some reason, that… bothered her even more.

No longer was he just the school troublemaker to them, but a degenerate pervert on top of that… and an irresponsible one, too! The parents of many of their peers, particularly their female ones, were also quick to judge him as such, and encouraged their daughters to avoid him at all costs.

That included his crush, Sakura… who was eyeing Naruto none-too-kindly now…

"Ami…?"

The plumette bit her lip and averted her gaze, her cheeks burning. "I hate it," she muttered.

"...Huh?"

"The shit they're talking about you," she whispered. "You were so kind… taking responsibility like that… and even offering to give up your dream of becoming Hokage because of my fuckup…"

It didn't help that her hormones were out of whack… Ami was way more emotional, now… and she blamed the stupid blond entirely! Wasn't that supposed to happen months later?!

The meek-as-ever Hinata secretly glared at her, but said nothing. She didn't want to upset Naruto-kun… and seeing him act so caringly, hearing and seeing how much of a man he was, made her heart yearn for him more than ever. The issue, of course, was that his love and devotion were being aimed at someone else… and she hated the bitch for it.

Her fingers twitched, the urge to use her clan's techniques on the plumette festering.

…preferably her stomach… but she resisted for now. (4)

"Again, I'm used to it,"

"That just makes it worse!" Ami hissed again.

Though it went unnoticed, Hinata's frown deepened. She agreed. Thoroughly.

"Sorry," Naruto replied before plastering on a grin. "Just saying you don't have to worry so much is all… Besides, cuddling with you these past few nights made it totally worth the trouble."

Ami's response was to jab in the shoulder.

Hinata, meanwhile, twitched violently, a vein threatening to pop out of her forehead. Fuck the fetus, she wanted to choke a bitch, right now!

Ami stopped herself from pouting. The stupid blond was proving to be a great tease! "Yeah, well, you're just lucky that you make a good pillow." He was just so… so warm! Something about the way he felt was just so… comfortable, so nice; she simply couldn't get enough of that feeling when they were in bed, especially as it started getting colder.

Whatever caused her chakra poisoning also seemed to calm itself whenever she was in his arms… but Ami was sure that had nothing to do with it.

Hinata twitched again. It was a wonder nobody could spot it.

Naruto chuckled. Then, noticing the glare sent his way by Iruka-sensei, figured he better start paying attention. He was serious when he said he would take care of her… and that only provided him with more incentive to put as much effort as he could into graduating.

One way or another.


Later that day, Ichiraku Ayame stared at a sheepish Naruto while he and Ami both nibbled on bowls of miso ramen, later that day.

"Sooo…" the waitress began awkwardly, a smile that could make granite queasy plastered across her face. "Someone's gonna be a daddy, I hear." She tried to sound cheerful, she really did… but… she just couldn't imagine it…

"Yeah…'' Naruto rubbed the back of his neck and laughed awkwardly, "Um… It just sorta happened."

"Uh-huh." Ayame didn't look convinced. "So… why didn't you attend sex-ed?" Ami came as no surprise because she was a delinquent, but Naruto? He might've loved pranks, but he was a pretty diligent student when he wanted to be.

"I wasn't allowed to," Naruto muttered grumpily.

There was a tense moment of silence, causing the plumette to perk up, before it was broken by Ayame.

''...What?" The waitress' deadpan expression made it clear that she was… not happy to hear his response.

The blond looked away. "I… erm, I might've pranked one of the academy teachers that day… the bastard deserved it, though. Kept ignoring me when I asked for help and telling me to figure things out for myself when I asked him after class."

"I see…" Ayame muttered a dangerous glint in her eye. Both she and Ami frowned as that revelation raised a number of red flags.

The literal job of an academy instructor was to help struggling students, after all. Sure, they were also there to cut the chaff, but if and especially when a student showed initiative and approached them for help, they were to provide.

To do otherwise was a form of negligence that bordered on treason! And it went without saying that a certain brunette was going to have a word with the Hokage in the near future… Naruto was a frequent customer of their stall, after all. (5)

And so was the Hokage.

"Well, in either case," Ayame chirped, her tone doing a complete one-eighty, now that she had another target to aim at. "the two of you make a cute couple, at least, and you share a lot in common, I hear."

"Yeah, both of us are known for being troublemakers," Ami admitted sheepishly. "Though for different reasons."

Naruto looked equally self-conscious and Ayame let loose a warm chuckle.

The brunette was glad that her favorite customer at least found some happiness in all of this…


And indeed, he was happy. Despite the shitstorm that resulted from his budding relationship with Ami, he was starting to like her even before they learned she was pregnant.

…Okay, so the daily sex they had was likely to blame for that, but really, who could blame him.

Looking at the girl in question as they approached her home, hand in hand, he couldn't help but imagine that they'd have at least become rather close friends if that hadn't happened.

Ayame-nee-chan was right, after all; they did share a few things in common… and there could still be more that they don't know about!

Soon enough, the two of them entered the apartment and were both surprised to see a certain someone waiting for them.

Or rather two.

There, in the living room, stood Mitarashi Anko, back home early from her latest mission.

Meanwhile, sitting on the sofa and helping herself to some tea, was a brunette Ami had never met before… while Naruto immediately recognized her.

"Rin-nee-chan!" the boy cried out cheerfully, drawing a smile from the woman who had been his primary caretaker since… ever. And a small wave. (6)

"Hi."

Ami furrowed her brow, glancing from one woman to another.

"Sup, brats!" Anko grinned at her girl… a grin that faded a bit when her gaze fell upon Naruto; she still resented him for defiling her baby, as one would expect, but his willingness to cooperate at least made him… annoyingly tolerable.

She wanted to stay mad at him, but she couldn't… and that only made her mad at him. That handholding thing they were doing nowadays was positively sweet and just… bleegh.

Muttering some choice words under her breath, she turned her attention back to Ami. "This is Rin, as your… pet announced," she said, gesturing to the brunette… and earning herself a pair of loudly protesting squawks… and eyeing the rather pronounced blush on her baby's face, a blush that went beyond mere mortification.

She'd know, embarrassing her baby was a favorite pastime…

And, no one ever said that her apple fell far from the tree…

The woman introduced, meanwhile, appeared to be the same age as Anko… and looked markedly more feminine, despite the facial tattoos. The two aforementioned markings were violet in color and rectangular, stretching from her cheekbones to the jawline.

Her attire was also far more modest, that being a black, long-sleeve, v-neck blouse and a long, white skirt. A black, plated headband with the crest of Konoha rested upon her forehead as was the case for most ninja.

Those brown eyes of hers had a spark of interest as she looked at Ami.

"She's here to help out with your chakra poisoning…" Anko continued before trailing off, giving Naruto a look, "and hopefully figure out how the hell you ended up with it."

"Anko, be nice." Rin chidded, causing her to pout, before turning back to Naruto, not bothering to hide the hint of exasperation her smile had in it. "And I see you've gotten yourself into even more trouble." Almost as much as a certain little spitfire she remembered fondly.

Naruto rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly, "Aaah―it's… not something I can't handle," he said before a small grin spread across his face. "Didn't plan to be a dad this soon, but I'll make it work. Trust me." Truth be told, he was looking forward to having a family, but wasn't nearly as confident as he tried to look.

But he'd been reading about it, and it was important for Ami to think at least one of them had some clue what they were doing.

He didn't.

He really, really didn't…

But letting her get more scared than she already was wouldn't do them any good.

"Maybe to you it ain't that bad." Ami winced, eyeing a chair to the side as her hand came up to her stomach. "You're not getting the crap kicked out of you by a fetus." She grumbled.

"So it is true. How odd," Rin muttered, eyeballing the girl with a thoughtful frown. She'd read Otoha's report, but it was just so outlandish that the tattooed brunette found it hard to believe. "It's far too early for you to be experiencing that kind of pain," she said, before blazing through various hand gestures. When the sequence was complete, her open palms started to glow a faint green. "Come here so I can give you a more thorough checkup and make sure the nurse was right in her assessment."

"Another scan?" Ami's shoulders dropped as she pouted. "Again?"

"It's always a good idea to get a second opinion if you can," Rin pointed out with a motherly smile. "Medics are people, too, so they can make mistakes like everyone else." (7)

"Fair enough," the girl grunted as she approached with a sigh.

And from there, Rin scanned Ami to see what was wrong with her and how Otoha came to the conclusion of chakra poisoning.

Then, she let loose a thoughtful hum. As it turned out, the nurse was right. The symptoms were all there and she found no indication that it might be something else. Ami was also indeed pregnant…

"So… will she be okay…?"

Her eyes landed on Naruto, scratching one cheek nervously.

''...What is it?"

Specifically, the brunette's eyes landed on his whiskers. She glanced briefly at his abdomen, before moving her eyes back to Ami's, her lips pursed.

Could it have been…? No… impossible.

He had never accessed its chakra… She would've noticed…

But still… The chakra poisoning seemed to be concentrated around Ami's womb; the chances were there… did its chakra maybe imbed itself into Naruto's seed? Was the growing fetus some sort of pseudo-jinchuuriki?

It seemed so outlandish… but she knew that many bloodlines have been confirmed to originate from demons… and demon hosts… (8)

The medic averted her gaze with a thoughtful hum. One way or the other, she needed more information.

"It's nothing," she said to reassure him, and an anxiously squirming Anko. Ami, as it turns out, was the one most at ease with the situation. "Just thinking…"

Serving as this girl's caretaker would definitely help, but only provide so much information. As such, Rin would figure out what she could when they were done here.


Two days later, a total of ten after Ami was discovered to be pregnant, the wedding was scheduled to start at noon.

Naruto and Ami felt… awkward to say the least when they entered the building, shifting uncomfortably while squeezing each other's hands. But, they pushed it aside.

This was their big day, after all.

They were a family now…

Averting his gaze and scratching a cheek, Naruto couldn't help but show his nervousness. Then, he nearly jumped out of his skin when Ami pecked him on the cheek. He chuckled warmly at that, smiling at her. She smiled back and the two of them continued on their way, slightly more confident than they were moments before.

Eventually, they came to a stop in a meeting room and there, they found themselves in the presence of a very unexpected guest.

Sarutobi Hiruzen perked up at their entry and gave the young couple a welcoming smile. "Ah Naruto-kun, Ami-chan," he greeted, somehow looking far too cheerful than someone his age had any right to be, "just the young troublemakers I wanted to speak to."

Naruto and Ami stared.

''...Old Man?"

"Oi!" Anko, who was leaning on the wall beside them, cuffed Naruto over the head, "Show some respect, brat!"

The Old Man chuckled.

"It is fine, Anko-chan. I'm not exactly a spry youth."

''...I'm nobody's -chan." The tokubetsu jounin grumbled to herself, somewhat childishly. (9)

That only made his smile widen.

Turning his attention to the boy, Hiruzen then made a handseal and with a poof, he held one box in either hand.

"It has come to my attention that you two don't really own any clothes for the occasion," he said, making them shuffle before their eyes widened. "That simply will not do; this is a special occasion, after all… and I felt the need to reward you for being so responsible in the wake of all of this."

Naruto looked stunned… but incredibly happy. Thrilled to tears really, and soon he was across the room as he hugged the Old Man, burying his head in the Kage's robes to hide the fact he was crying.

Meanwhile, Ami wanted the ground to open up and swallow her whole, feeling mortified that it had to be the Hokage who gave them their wedding clothes… and that her soon-to-be-husband was sniffling into his robes!

That was not grown up or manly!

"Tch― wimp."

Her mother snarked before snatching Ami's box from the Hokage's hands, who clearly had his hands full with the blond prankster.

Thus, Anko turned her attention towards her baby girl… and held out her hand with a smirking coo.

"Now come here you―It's time to play dress up again~"

Ami really wanted to be swallowed up by the ground now…


It was a small, quick ceremony, with no more than 10 people in attendance.

Few people liked Naruto, let alone cared for him.

Same went for Ami, who was a bully.

Even those two girls she used to torment Sakura with were just some poor kids she'd intimidated into hanging out with her. She'd ditched them within a week of an incident of some kind, apparently?

Girls. Naruto chalked it up to girls. (10)

Similarly, Anko did not have many friends in the ninja forces. She had fuck-buddies and keep-it-distant colleagues… and sure, plenty of ninjas respected her, while others feared her with good reason…

But Anko had been wary of opening up to too many people after her piss poor childhood.

That being said, when Naruto walked down the aisle conspicuously alone while Ami was escorted by her mother, the blond couldn't help but notice how empty the place felt.

There was Ayame and her father, Teuchi. Seeing them there for him… he was touched.

There was Rin too, nodding at him with a small smile on her face. Her presence made him incredibly happy.

From Ami's side, there was a red-eyed woman wearing a dress that looked like it was made of bandaging cloth… and Naruto was sure he'd seen an outfit of similar make in porn mags…

Sitting beside the woman was a man with a trimmed beard and a cigarette in his mouth. The man also looked like he felt out of place, and honestly seemed bored to death.

Friends of the family, maybe…?

Naruto shrugged, turning to continue his little trek to the altar.

He couldn't help but think Ami looked really nice, if a bit out of character, in that purple and gold kimono.

Naruto, meanwhile, was decked out in mostly black with white and orange accents.

Because neither Naruto nor Ami were yet ninjas, though, the wedding was presided over by a priest instead of the Hokage, who, much to Naruto's disappointment, couldn't make any more time to be there… but his surprise visit earlier more than made up for it.

Taking a deep breath, he carried on and sat before the priest alongside Ami.


"You know… I feel like I should've anticipated this, yet I still didn't." Ayame shook her head as she stepped out of the kitchen, holding another pair of ramen bowls.

"Heeey!" Naruto protested, before pointing a chop-stick at a blissfully ignorant Ami, "She's the one who asked for this!"

The purple-haired girl didn't even respond, too focused on the ramen.

Ayame chuckled, presenting her customers with their respective bowls. It was late at night, much later than she was used to working as the ramen stand was typically closed by now, but she couldn't say no to the newlyweds when the bride in question started craving some more ramen.

Despite Ami not liking ramen… Apparently, the seed hungers.

It was the only explanation that made sense to her. (11)

Ayame was foreseeing a rise in profits in the coming years…


For a long while, Naruto and Ami sat awkwardly on the bed, back in their usual attire, neither one sure if they should make the first move or not.

Anko's words, spoken to him literally minutes after the wedding, still reverberated through his head, "If you hurt my little Shrimp, I will wreck your shit in ways you don't know are possible. Got it?"

She had been deadly serious.

Naruto wasn't sure whether to be exasperated, terrified or jealous.

On one hand, he kept saying he'd take care of Ami-chan; on another, his new mother-in-law was one scary woman; and on yet another, Ami-chan had such a loving, hardcore, badass mom.

While the closest thing Naruto had… was a caretaker.

In the end, he settled on exasperated… and now, here they were. Naruto hadn't even graduated yet and he was married, now… with a kid on the way. It was a bit much to take in; they'd barely even known each other for a month, if that, and yet they were a family, now.

Truth be told, he liked the sound of that… but at the same time, it made him anxious. He wasn't one who usually suffered from performance anxiety, but this was just so different from what he was used to dealing with.

And that wasn't even mentioning the fact that he wasn't at all used to literally having his dick on the line.

Ami, practically reading her new husband's mind, placed a hand on his. She was just as nervous, and uncomfortable, but this was their life now… and as his wife it was now her job to provide moral support and guidance when he needed it. Just like he'd been doing for her so far.

They were a team now.

Naruto looked at her and smiled.

Adjusting his hand he laced his fingers with hers while she absently played with her hubby's new wedding band.

Then, Ami shyly gave him a peck on the cheek.

Blinking, he glanced at her, a smile tugging at his lips.

Ami… looked away.

Was she blushing?

She totally was! Ami was being demure!

"I guess I should call you Husband now." she murmured.

"Ami―''

She gave him another peck on the cheek.

"Ami―''

The girl didn't respond, only kissing a trail down to his neck.

"Ami!" Naruto grabbed her, and made her look at him, "Stop that," he said, looking concerned. "This isn't you."

Ami pouted, tearing her gaze from him with an angry huff. "So, that's what I get for tryin' to help, huh?"

Naruto immediately went into panic mode, realizing that he'd hurt her feelings. "It's not that," he said, placing a hand on her shoulder. "I'm sorry. I just… don't want you to force yourself to be something you're not. It's not healthy." He averted his gaze. "I should know…"

Ami huffed again… but she couldn't find it in her to be angry at him after hearing that.

Collapsing backwards and spreading her hands across her―their―bed, she addressed him again. "So, what now?"

"I… Um… I dunno." Naruto shrugged, as Ami stared up at the ceiling. "Guess we try doing what we always do and go on from there?"

She glanced down at him with a mock-glare. "So, kissing isn't good, but swallowing your dick is?"

"I didn't mean it like that!" Though he certainly wouldn't mind...

For a few moments, there was silence… and then Ami let out a loud guffaw. Naruto stared at her, before joining in with a chuckle of his own.

"Oh gods, we're fucked up," Ami muttered amusedly. That enjoyment was cut short, though, as she groaned in discomfort. "Damn it, speaking of fucked up, whatever you put in me with that kid is not agreeing with me at all." She honestly didn't know for sure if he was responsible for her chakra poisoning, but she still blamed him.

"Sorry," he replied awkwardly.

Another moment of awkwardness followed…

Before the blond decided to risk it and cupped her cheek before leaning down to kiss her.

It wasn't their first kiss, but it certainly was an awkward one.

"You suck at that, by the way," Ami grunted, averting her gaze shyly once he seperated.

She couldn't hide how hot her breathing was, nor how much it had sped up in these past few seconds…

Naruro grinned. "Guess I'll just need to practice, then." He said, before diving in for another kiss, managing to make the purplehead release one of those cute little mewls he was so fond of.

The sound had him hard in a near instant.

Ami tried to push him away. The motion was incredibly weak, as neither her heart nor her mind were into it. Naruto didn't relent, and kissed her harder.

And kept kissing her… and kissing her…

Until neither could keep up, and separated.

Ami gasped. "Th-that was much better."

"I aim to please." he quipped, before making a trail of kisses down her chin, and onto her neck. Ami released a sort of a half-giggle, half-moan. Pushing up her purple tank, he started pawing at her small, but swelling breasts. "Lemme make you feel better," he growled hungrily, making his new wife shudder in anticipation.

Then, Ami yelped and cooed when he scooted back and latched onto a tit. But Naruto didn't stop there; while he suckled on one tit and fondled the other, his free hand trailed down and cupped Ami's groin.

Within seconds, the girl was out of breath as Naruto expertly pleasured her, putting those weeks of practice to good use.

By now, he knew each and every last one of her weaknesses and he was more than happy to exploit them.

Ami squealed, both literally and otherwise, her eyes rolling back and toes curling from the wave of pleasure.

But, Naruto wasn't done yet.

He kissed a trail down, reaching up her skirt and removing Ami's panties before spreading her legs. And then, he came down onto her with a hungry vengeance.

She releases a tortured groan. The pleasure was almost too much for her.

He was just so good… Ami couldn't help but feel proud of herself, knowing the clueless blond was only this good because of her.

Naruto brutally attacked her clit, fingering his wife while he was at it. His pace was rapid, but even, and soon enough, Ami came again… hard.

When she came down from that high, though, the purple-haired girl mewled pathetically, realizing that he'd withdrawn. But that disappointment was cut short when she felt something large and bulbous prodding her folds. She groaned deeply, her eyes rolling back as Naruto pushed deeper and deeper, slowly but surely.

She shuddered again, feeling his swollen balls pressed against her ass.

Naruto blinked in surprise when she looked at him with a fire in her eyes.

'You're mine, now," she growled hungrily, that crazy snake-lady's influence rising to the surface. "Mine and no one else's." Ami pulled a moan from him, clenching her muscles around his shaft and squeezing it deliciously. (12)

Naruto smiled, letting his hands trail to her hips. "And you're mine," he fired back.

And with that, he started to move.

Ami mewled pathetically once again, the sound seeming so out of place coming from her and Naruto took pride in being the only one who could make her do that. His pace was slow at first but picked up steam as he kept at it. Pulling her towards him with each and every thrust, he delved as deep into her female folds. It felt so damn good to be inside her once more…

His wife, meanwhile, was on cloud nine. It just felt so good… and he tried so damn hard to please.

But, as much as she wanted it to, this could not last forever. And so, Naruto slammed into her one last time. He groaned and she shuddered, the hot jizz pouring deep within her ravenous cunny, filling up her very accepting womb. With every spurt, Naruto thrusted into her and pulled Ami towards him, his instincts taking over as he tried in vain to breed the healthy, young female… and the girl in question came all over his dick as a result.

And she couldn't be happier.

Though Ami knew that getting Sasuke-kun was probably never going to happen at this rate, she… honestly didn't mind if this was any indication of things to come.

Her train of thought then came to a crashing halt as Naruto came down onto her once more, wrapping his arms around the purple-haired girl and giving her another kiss. Her toes curled yet again and Naruto started fucking her once more.


While Naruto and Ami were getting their much-needed jollies, a familiar, tattooed brunette stepped into the Hokage's office. Walking inside, she came to a stop in front of the Hokage's desk, a concerned frown on her face.

Hiruzen laced his fingers before his face as she bowed, and a tall, lanky man with a porcelain dog mask and gravity-defying, silver hair appeared beside her, bowing just as well.

"Hokage-sama."

"What do you have to report?"

"I fear that Mitarashi Ami's chakra poisoning might be a result of the demon influencing Naruto's unborn child," she said, cutting to the chase with a dire expression upon her face, making both the Hokage and the ANBU tense. "It's literally the only thing I can think of; every last other possibility I know of has been ruled out."

"You are certain of this."

"Yes."

"This is grave news." Hiruzen muttered, looking troubled, "Can you ascertain how this happened? Minato's seal is supposed to be locked tight."

"I… don't know." There was a dire pause, and for the first time since this whole incident, Rin looked truly worried. ''...We will need to have an expert examine it to be sure it's not affecting Naruto harmfully…"

Or his child for that matter…

Hiruzen, of course, knew plenty about the sealing arts… but far from enough to meddle with something empowered by a god.

"Hokage-sama… there's a lot of chakra building up within Ami… far too much for it to just be the child's… and far too potent for its one-month-or-less age…" She trailed off, not wanting to have to say it.

Such chakra… could not be human.

The ANBU's body language hinted that he wanted to say something.

"You have something to add, Inu?" Hiruzen asked, addressing the man in question.

"I distinctly remember Sensei saying he planned to kill the demon once and for all," the masked shinobi answered, sonding uncertain. "But I don't see how the seal would do that; if I'm not mistaken, the beast will simply pop out if Naruto dies."

The aging shadow looked at least a decade older at that moment. "So we have a bunch of theories, but no working conjecture yet? I can't act on suspicions alone."

"I'm a medic, not a seal master," Rin replied with a frown before nodding. "But, yes, I remember him saying that, too…"

Hiruzen hummed in thought.

''...I could recall Jiraiya-kun back," the Hokage mused aloud. "If anyone would have the answer to that puzzle, it would be my student."

Said student was also the Yondaime's instructor once upon a time. Save for the two standing before Hiruzen, that man knew his successor... And predecessor the most out of anyone in the village.

Rin frowned deeply at the name.

She had a very deep disdain for her sensei's former instructor.

"If you must, Hokage-sama," the masked man said. Though he hid it well, Rin could tell her old comrade shared those feelings.

That deadbeat better have a damn good excuse for leaving his godson behind the way he did… (13)


Meanwhile, at the edge of an onsen halfway across the continent, a man with long, spiky, white hair, partially done up in a ponytail sneezed loudly.

Then, much to his dismay, the women he'd been… researching perked up and glared as one at the tree he'd been hiding in.

Unfortunately for him, these women were all elite kunoichi of their respective village… and when they were alerted to his presence, Jiraiya knew he was not about to have a very nice day.


Hiruzen sighed heavily. "I can see why you two would feel that way about him," the Hokage said. "But I can assure you that Jiraiya-kun had his reasons for leaving." He then focused on Rin in particular. "That said, until he returns, you are to carry on with serving as their caretaker."

"Of course, Hokage-sama. That goes without saying." the brunette replied with a bow.

The old village leader nodded, before waving them off. "Dismissed."

He had another headache to nurse… and more to come in the not too distant future…


Once Rin was out of the office again, the ANBU appeared beside her once again.

"Inu-san." she nodded crisply, before spinning on her heel and walking away.

"Rin, wait." the ANBU caught her hand, and had to actually tighten his grip because that had not, in fact, been enough to make her halt.

The brunette sighed.

"What do you want, Bakashi?"

"I… Can you just tell me, ummm…" A man of eloquent words, this Bakashi clearly was not. ''...How is he?"

The question didn't sound pleadingly… but it was.

"You can just check on him yourself―or do you know how he even looks!" the medic snapped… and immediately regretted it when she saw her once-teammate's shoulders slumping as he let go of her.

She was mad at him… angry beyond words… but…

Reaching for his hand, she held her own around it, and squeezed him.

"Sorry, Kakashi… I… It's been a hard week… and then Sandaime-sama mentioned that deadbeat…"

"It's okay." Kakashi whispered, "I know how you feel." He absolutely loved the man's novels, but when it came to Naruto, he felt the same. "I wish I could've done more."

"No-no… You have your duties. And I know you look out for him when you can." Rin shook her head, making pretty little tresses of brown bounce around, "Did you not think I'd know who keeps leaving those birthday presents for him?" Then she looked at him funnily, "A dog-eared sleeping cap? Really?"

The ANBU had the decency to look sheepish.

"And all those sweets― Really, Bakashi, you're lucky his teeth hadn't gone rotten." She exclaimed, exasperated.

More sheepishness.

"And he's fine," Rin answered. "He even seems happy ― truly happy ― with what's happened… as I'm sure you noticed during the ceremony." She gave him a knowing smile. "Having a family was always a big dream of his."

"That's… good." Ah, he was acting all shy now! How adorable ― no, she was supposed to be angry at him.

…Stupid Bakashi.

"But I don't think you'll be able to sneak around Anko." She warned ― she didn't doubt the woman's senses, nor did she doubt for a moment there were a dozen or so snakes all around and inside the house, keeping an eye on her family, "If you wanna keep this up, you're going to have to come out and meet him. Face to face, Bakashi."

His shoulders slumped.

"Easier said than done."

Rin did not look impressed.

"What are you, twelve? Where're your balls?"

"It's not―"

"It's precisely that and you know it," Rin deadpanned. "You are not to blame for her death. Face him."

''..."

"I've got some tests to run. So… just… stop being such a Baka, Bakashi." She huffed and made to leave, "She'd be laughing at you right now and you know it."

''...Yeah, she would."

"She'd also drive her chains up your ass for not taking care of her baby."

''..."

He had been… but yeah, she would for letting this happen… while also gushing about how proud she was of her little stud, no doubt.

For being younger than Naruto was right now, his mother had been one scary little redheaded monster… and a pervert on par with Jiraiya. And a royal bratty pain in the ass. (14)

Kakashi shook his head to purge those thoughts.

Rin was already gone.


DMS Notes and Trivia:

1:

Given Kushina's personality, I could totally see that. XD

2: Hell hath no fury as the old saying goes, lol.

Also, I must say that I like writing Naruto and Ami's interactions. While he is certainly not the most responsible person in the world, his habit of putting others before himself leaves me inclined to believe that he'd act this way.

AdV: My personal headcanon… Naruto would drop his so called 'dream' of being Hokage if he made a family. He would take the mantle if absolutely needed, but it wouldn't be his endgoal.

DMS: Same.

3: Not to get political, but yes, no one hates women more than other women. It's a rather large factor in why feminists tend to eat eachother.

Also, no creature existing that is crueler than a human child is no exaggeration; most kids don't have a fully-developed sense of empathy until they're around 12 if I remember correctly. This is just one of the many reasons why you should be very incredibly hesitant to your kids online without supervision.

4: Beware the quiet ones, for you know not what thoughts they are keeping to themselves. I should know. I'm one such person… and y'all know what kinda shit I've been writing. XD

AdV: Cough-cough…

5: Anyone else find it easy to picture Ayame being a former kunoichi who went into early retirement to help Daddy out when her mother died?

AdV: Yes and no.

For the record, she was not ― in this story.

6: Someone had to care for him as a kid… and it is easier to picture that someone being Rin than anyone. Fuck Shippuden… and especially the Fourth Great War.

AdV: I mean, Kishimoto kinda did a lot of stupid there.

So… as Part II went on, we learn that a decent chunk of named older characters know he's Minato's and Kushina's kid… Right…

I am going to leapfrog over the whole 'Kushina and Mikoto' scene to point out that most of the village knew Minato, their HOKAGE, was married to an Uzumaki… a pregnant Uzumaki…

So, either all of Minato's so called friends are scum who refused to take in Naruto… or Sarutobi forbid anyone from handling Naruto… in which case, yea, scum.

I also do not for a single moment buy the excuse Danzo leaked his status. That's just dumb.

Oh, and why the fuck is Naruto living off of chump change if there's a fucking shrine with divine fucking artefacts near Konoha… I don't mind him actual being raised that way, it certainly built character… but the Uzumaki shrine was such a pointless addition… Just… wtf…

7: A bit of solid advice, there. Always get a second opinion if you can… within reason, of course. Even the most seasoned and well-trained doctors are still human, after all.

8: Yes, that is a thing in this fanfic. Again, fuck Shippuden.

9: That was fucking adorable… XD

AdV: I am to please… or amuse… I'll take melting into moe too.

10: A reasonable assumption.

11: Official headcanon: when Naruto knocks someone up, she starts craving ramen… and the little shits he put in her eventually grow up to love it as much as their father.

12: I wouldn't be so sure about that… We actively had to shrink the harem. XD

AdV: The first draft for the subsequent chapters was more on the silly side… it's gonna be reworked.

13: This is just another reason I don't like the retcons in all honesty. As AdV said above, they have a habit of turning a lotta beloved characters into utterly terrible people when you actually sit down and think about them.

But alas, the mangaka was rather notorious for not taking things to their logical conclusions. Naruto being 12 and still legally considered a child in canon is but the most famous example, I'm sure.

AdV: I feel the need to point out the story was contradicting/retconning itself in the first chapter of the manga…

AdV2: It also completely negates all of Naruto's so called hardships. Oh, he's the son of the prodigy Hokage ― oh, he's the fucking Chosen One ― oh, he's the literal reincarnation of a demigod, who's daddy is the God of Shinobi… whose mother is the so called Primordial being of the planet… So… hard work was it?

I mean, let's be real, for most of his fights Naruto had to rely on Kyuubi… until he no longer didn't.

14: Again, I could totally see Kushina reacting in precisely that manner, lol.

Also, Tsunderin was such a fucking treat! I love it! XD

AdV: Hmmm… Rin… makes me wanna channel Tohsaka Rin ― Fate's Queen of Tsun ― into Nohara Rin…


Parting Notes: And that is another chapter done! I'm quite pleased with how it turned out. Hope y'all enjoyed and I look forward to the next one!