Of
Duty, Atonement, and Redemption—Chapter Twenty-Two
By
SGC Gategirl
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For warnings, comments, summary, etc, please see part one.
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It was hard to ignore the shouting from Weir's office or the two people nearly running through the control room.
Sergeant Brian Whitmore tried to keep his head down most of the time, but lately…things had been interesting. This, though, had to be the topper.
Once he was sure the coast was clear he made sure his radio was on the private channel and tapped it on, connecting him with the other techs on duty.
"Need something, Brian?" Captain Patrick Murphy replied and leaning forward, Brian could spot the man at the far end of the gateroom working on something.
"I think McKay just resigned. I have to tell Zelenka. I need two minutes. Can you watch the boards?"
"Sure thing," Murphy replied, already heading up the stairs.
As soon as the red-haired man crested the top of the stairs, Brian glanced toward Weir's office, noting that she was still holding her head in her hands, and he moved off to the nearest balcony, tapping his radio to contact the scientist as he stepped outside.
"Whitmore to Zelenka."
A minute passed before the Czech answered, his voice weary. "Yes, what, Brian?"
"I figured you needed to know this. I think McKay just resigned."
"What!"
"He ran out of Weir's office like a bat out of hell after shouting at her."
"Where is he?"
"I don't know, but Sheppard ran after him a few minutes later."
Zelenka uttered several soft curses in Czech. "I must go. Please inform Major Lorne of this development. Radek out."
After the radio went dead, Whitmore shook his head, but did as the doctor ordered. "Whitmore to Lorne, please respond."
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"He what?" Major Lorne was stopped dead in the middle of the East Pier, sweat dripping from him as he tried to complete his run. He had work to do this morning, so he'd put this off until he had more time.
Rubbing his towel briskly over his face as Whitmore explained what he thought had happened Lorne realized he didn't have much time. An angry McKay coupled with an equally angry and guilty Sheppard was an explosion waiting to happen. They needed to talk, but not like this.
His legs pumping as he began to run again, re-tracing his steps, he signed off with the gate technician and contacted Teyla.
They'd help find them, but Atlantis was big and they could be anywhere.
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"This is Beckett," Carson replied, answering the call absently. It didn't sound urgent, so he wasn't ready to start panicking yet.
"We may have need of your services shortly," Zelenka said, his words rushed, his voice shakier than normal.
"Radek, what's wrong?"
"Rodney has resigned and Colonel Sheppard has run after him to convince him otherwise. I do not foresee a good ending to this."
"Daft fool" Carson glanced around the infirmary, already locating his kit with his eyes. "Where are they?"
"I do not know. Lorne should know by now."
"Ronon? Teyla?"
"I imagine they are on Lorne's list to contact."
"What do you want me to do?"
"Where might Rodney go if he was angry? Do you have any idea?"
"Actually, there are a few places…"
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Ronon raced through the halls of Atlantis, trying not to run but his long, quick strides forced Teyla to jog in order to keep up with him. They were convening in Radek's lab to try and use the internal sensors to find the two men.
Lorne had sounded…worried.
Ronon wasn't sure who was more at risk, but he'd put his bets on McKay for this round. The scientist probably had a vicious right hook if he put his weight behind it.
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Rodney leaned against the railing somewhere on the north side of Atlantis, his entire body still vibrating with anger. He'd had to get away from Elizabeth, Doctor Weir—whatever the hell he called her now—or he might have said something else, more revealing, more scathing.
So he'd come here, as far as he could get from her and from everyone else in this damn city.
He liked this balcony. It was out of the way and no one else used it—at least as far as he knew. He came here often, especially when he needed to get away, to give his mind a chance to rest or to really think something through.
Over the past year and a half, he'd come to know this particular spot very well.
His mind drifted, the anger dissipating slowly, the edge not quite as sharp as it had been. It had felt good to get it off his chest, but another part of him was still cringing, wondering when things went so wrong, when he'd gone wrong.
When had he lost his touch, his edge? He chuckled humorlessly. His sanity?
The whoosh of the opening balcony doors drew his attention, but the voice turned him around.
"McKay, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
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John Sheppard ran through the halls of Atlantis, a life signs detector in his hand. He'd swung by the locker room where all his team's gear was stored and had dug it out of McKay's vest. He'd return it later, once he beat some sense into the physicist.
He knew several of McKay's haunts, places he'd retreat to when things got to be a little too much. John had checked some of the closer ones first, but knew the scientist wasn't going to stay close to home. After everything, he was going to find himself a nice little balcony as far from everything and everyone as possible.
Which was why John was headed toward the North pier.
There was a spot John liked to visit—one he'd discovered after following McKay there months ago when the scientist was wandering the halls at 0300.
As he got closer, he pulled up the device, his mouth pulling up at the corner when he discovered one other life sign. He'd found him.
Moving quickly, he climbed several flights of stairs before dashing down the final hallway, charging through the doors.
McKay twitched when he stepped through, but it wasn't until he spoke that the scientist turned around.
"McKay, what the hell do you think you're doing?"
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His initial shock evaporated, leaving the anger to ignite once again as soon as McKay caught sight of the man standing across from him, a life signs detector in his hand, anger on his face.
"It's none of your damn business, Colonel," he replied coldly, turning his back, concentrating on the view beyond the railing.
He heard rushed footsteps behind him before a hand on his shoulder roughly turned him around, coming face-to-face with the Colonel. "It is my damn business, McKay. I'm not accepting your resignation."
McKay shook off the hand, taking several steps away from Sheppard, one arm still on the rail at his side. "I'm a civilian, Colonel," he said, putting as much distain on the title as he could. "I don't answer to you."
"The hell you don't. You're a member of my team."
"Since when?"
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John felt his mouth drop open and his eyes widen momentarily before he stepped forward, his hand rising, finger pointing.
"Since when? How dare you even question it!"
"Why shouldn't I? It's not like you care whether or not I'm there until there's a problem you need solved. Then it's 'oh, McKay can do it'. I'm done fixing your mistakes."
"My mistakes?" Sheppard laughed humorlessly, taking a step back as he threw up his hands. "Yeah, McKay, let's talk about mistakes."
"Why? Feel like rubbing Doranda in yet again?" The scientist's eyes blazed. "I think I've done more than enough to make up for that particular screw up, or did you have something else in mind? Didn't get your kicks from what you've already done? Need to try something else? Oh wait…maybe you don't want me to leave because you need someone to blame for your own screwed up decisions, someone to cover your ass. Well, guess what, Colonel? You can find yourself another whipping boy. This one is finished."
McKay moved off, stepping closer to the side of Atlantis as if he was trying to get around Sheppard, but this wasn't over by along shot. Sheppard grabbed the other man's arm as he passed, pulling him back.
"Oh, no, you're not," Sheppard said, releasing the scientist sharply, making him stumble into the wall, hitting his shoulder. McKay's eyes widened, the white showing around the blue-grey irises.
Sheppard let his hand drop, surprised by his response and his own anger. McKay straightened, chin coming up as he crossed his arms over his chest. "So we're resorting to violence now? Or should I expect a Marine to dash in through the doors to do your dirty work?"
"I had nothing to do with that and those men are going to be brought up on charges," John said through gritted teeth, the words forced out.
"That's hard to believe. They're your men, Colonel."
"They weren't acting under orders."
"Sure, they weren't," McKay said, disbelief and anger clearly evident on his face. "You know, if you and Elizabeth don't accept my resignation, I'd like to see you try to explain that to the judge."
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Rodney watched as John's face closed down, his anger descending into something colder, his eyes watching him intently, calculating every small movement he made.
When Sheppard finally spoke into the silence that had only been broken by their own wheezing and huffed breaths, it was as if all emotion had drained from the man, leaving only the soldier, the military commander of Atlantis. It was just as well. His friend had left him weeks ago.
"You won't do it."
McKay narrowed his eyes, shifting on his feet. "What makes you think I won't?"
He tilted his head, the dark eyes never leaving Rodney's face. "Because this has gone far enough and I'm not going to let it continue."
Rodney chuckled bitterly, rolling his eyes skyward as he shook his head. "Oh, that's a laugh. You still think the world is going to stop on your command; that everyone will just lay down and take what you continue to dish out." He turned, stepping forward, his finger pointing to his own chest. "I'm not like everyone else."
"But you're still on my team and what I say, goes."
"No, no, no, you are mistaken, Colonel. I resigned. And I don't answer to you."
"McKay—" Sheppard growled, taking a step into Rodney's space, causing him to stumble back a few steps until he hit the wall again, pinned there like a butterfly in a collection.
"What? What else do you want from me? I've given you everything you've ever asked for—whatever anyone's asked—and what do I get in return? Scorn. Ridicule. Hatred. I've been locked up, treated no better than a prisoner—hell, I think some of the Wraith we had in the holding cells were treated better than I've been. I've been continuously terrorized by the military. I've lost whatever respect I'd earned with the science staff. And to top it off, as if personal, in-your-face insults aren't sufficient, it seems everyone has resorted to handing out electronic abuse on a regular basis, because apparently I'm not suffering enough on my own. I'm a pariah. Not wanted anywhere by anyone. It may have taken me a while to figure it out, but I've finally gotten the message loud and clear."
He paused, his mouth a thin, hard line, the corners dropping in a scowl. "I refuse to stay where I'm not wanted."
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Not wanted? Behind his cold, hard mask, John Sheppard was baffled. How could McKay think that he wasn't wanted, or needed?
"What the hell has been going on, McKay?" he growled.
"Exactly what you wanted to happen," the scientist shot back. "Did you think that your little punishment would have no lasting effects? Did you think it would tame the beast, make me easier to push around? Did you and Elizabeth sit in her office and come up with new and inventive ways to torment me?"
"What?" Sheppard said instinctively, watching as McKay moved several feet to the side before he stopped once again, his blue eyes narrowing.
"You heard me. You may be stupid, but I know your hearing is just fine."
"What makes you think we don't want you on Atlantis?"
"Oh, I don't know," he said, shrugging, his hands waving widely. "Everything?"
"McKay—"
"Look, while you might be enjoying this whole 'let's pound on the resident genius' I'm not finding this entertaining. And, if you'll excuse me, I have somewhere else I need to be—which, actually, is anywhere you're not." He paused as the doors to the city slid opened before him. Glancing over his shoulder, he added a final remark, his voice tinted with weariness and anger; his eyes for a brief moment flashing with something that seemed like regret before hardening once again. "You should be celebrating, Colonel. Ten more days and I'll be out of your hair forever."
The panels whooshed closed as soon as McKay stepped into the hall, headed away from the closest transporter, and deeper into some of the barely-searched sections of the city.
Sheppard let him go, turning to lean against the railing, all his anger draining away, leaving him exhausted.
Until now, John didn't realize how bad things had gotten, just how far they'd pushed McKay away.
Was there anything left to salvage? Would the stubborn physicist even want to?
With his elbows on the railing, he leaned down, resting his head in his hands and listening to the surf pound against the city far below.
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It was difficult for a group of five to be silent while they rushed through the halls of Atlantis, trying desperately to be the first to get to the balcony on the far side of the city without tripping over each other. When they were in the lab, they'd been able to find two life signs on a balcony Carson knew Rodney frequented. But it still took time to hike to the other side of Atlantis—even with the help of the transporters. Rodney had picked this specific location due to its isolated nature.
Lorne was in the lead followed by Ronon and Radek, with Teyla and Carson bringing up the rear. Carrying the life signs detector certainly had its advantages.
"I'm only getting one reading." Lorne whispered as they paused just around the corner from the balcony in question.
"Only one?" Teyla frowned, glancing at the Major. "Did we not see two life signs before?"
Radek shrugged. "Someone must have left."
"We did not pass anyone," Teyla commented, glancing back the way they'd come.
"Who is it?" Carson whispered, drawing a long-suffering look from the major.
"It doesn't say," Lorne replied, rolling his eyes. "All I know is that there's one blinking dot and it's human."
Beckett shook his head, moving around the Major, headed for the door. After only taking one step, someone snagged his elbow. "Where are you going?" Lorne hissed, pulling the doctor around.
"To find out who the bloody hell is there," he replied, yanking his arm out of the Major's grasp as he strode onto the balcony.
He stopped suddenly, mid-step, when he caught sight of the man leaning heavily on the rail at the far side of the balcony, head in his hands.
"Colonel?" Carson said, moving closer, the shuffle of feet behind him indicating the rest had followed.
The man uncurled a little, his back tightening as he straightened and turned. His eyes met Carson's first, hesitantly, before angling over his shoulder to look behind. They widened spotting the crowd hovering in the doorway.
"You wanted something?" Sheppard looked back at Carson, annoyance and amusement on his face. "You could have used the radio."
"Where's Rodney?" Beckett asked instead, his eyes hardening a little.
John shrugged, turning back to the railing. "Not here, obviously."
Teyla stepped forward, her voice kind and gentle. "Colonel, do you know where he might be?"
He shook his head, his eyes on the horizon. "He walked out the door a while ago, headed further out. I didn't stop him. I don't think he's in the mood to chat."
"Colonel," Radek said, stepping forward. "Is what we heard true? That Rodney has resigned?"
John turned, anger in his eyes. "He'll resign over my dead body. We need him here."
"Did you tell him?" Ronon asked, leaning against the door, his arms folded over his chest.
Sheppard's head came up, his eyes focusing on the Satedan. "Not in so many words."
Ronon's eyes darkened, but he didn't comment, leaving the air heavy between them. The squawk of the citywide intercom, however, sliced through the silence.
"Control to Sheppard."
Carson glanced at the Colonel, eyes narrowing. "Isn't your radio on?"
Sheppard shook his head, pulling the headset from his pocket. "I didn't want to be interrupted."
Tugging the earpiece in place, he tapped the radio. Since Carson didn't hear the corresponding echo in his own ear, he knew the Colonel had gone to a private channel.
"This is Sheppard," he answered wearily. Listening for a moment, he nodded before speaking again. "Yes, I found him, and no, I don't think he's going to change his mind."
Carson threw a raised eyebrow toward the other man, who narrowed his eyes at him, but didn't make any other gestures.
"That might be a good idea and they're all right here. See you in ten. Sheppard out."
Tapping his radio off, he glanced down for a moment, taking a breath, before raising his head once again. "Elizabeth wants to talk about this…situation in her office. She thinks it might be a good idea for all of us to be there."
"What about McKay?" Lorne asked quietly.
"I'll keep an eye on him" Ronon said, pushing off against the wall and heading down the corridor Rodney had disappeared into.
"Keep in contact!" John yelled at the warrior's retreating back. Shaking his head, he glanced at the people before him, his gaze resting with each of them.
"So, shall we try to figure out how to keep our resident genius on Atlantis?"
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TBC
