They think I'm naive, too trusting. I'm not. I grew up learning first hand how people can betray you, how they hurt you at the first opportunity. People I loved and I thought loved me.
My mother. She hated me, feared me and I loved her more than any other person on this planet and yet she gave me over to the people who would hurt me more that I ever thought was possible. She said she was doing it for my own good that I would be safe there, that they would help me. She lied. The didn't want to help me, they wanted to experiment on me and keep me locked up in box. To use me just like everyone else does.
My father, I was just a tool to him no matter how I wanted his love, his approval all he wanted was something to further his own goals and so he betrayed me. He used me to get what he wanted. I was never his child, his son. He had me created to his specifications from the color my eyes right down to my elemental powers. Just a tool for him to use.
I don't give people a chance to be good, I give people the chance to show me how bad they can be, I'm not proven wrong very often either. Most people will take that knife you offer them and put it deep into your back at the first opportunity.
I trust them all right, I trust them to hurt me, and to betray me just like everyone does. Almost everyone. Shalimar. Shalimar is the only one who has never taken an opportunity to hurt me. Brennan, Emma and Adam each in their own ways have. I let them in and they didn't disappoint me, they hurt me just like my parents did. Betrayed me like my father did, hurt me like my mother would.
They point it out to me every chance they get; look how your trusted and look how they were undeserving of your trust. They think I don't know but I have more experience with the betrayal than they ever will. It is my hope for them; it is for them that I do it so that they won't have to know the pain. It is for them that I take it all for myself.
They think I am a fool and perhaps I am but not in the sense that they believe.
I love them and I will do everything in my power to keep them safe from harm.
I trust, I step in front of danger so that they may remain safe and it is my love for them that makes me continue to do so.
It hurts that they see me as such a weakling but what else can I do. The truth would hurt them I don't want that.
