Chapter 8: My Mother was a Hamster
Anakin was so ashamed, but not for the reason one would think. He was exhausted.
The Chosen One was never exhausted.
Being so short of breath and almost unable to walk, Anakin was feeling so poorly that he did not notice how eerily silent the Senate chambers were as he collapsed into his seat.
"Yousa late," Jar Jar scolded though, with his silly appearance and speech patterns, his opinion was of little consequence.
In return, the Jedi muttered something under his breath that caused the Gungan to go a light orange.
"Jedi Skywalker!" a voice boomed, causing the man to jump. "Stand and address!"
All the blood in his veins froze as he sensed a presence Anakin hadn't felt in many years.
Sidious.
Indeed, the Sith stood up in the podium between Bail and a senator Anakin didn't recognize. Time hadn't ignited the flame in his eyes, and he held up his cuffed hands as if to say, "Thanks a lot, you piece of bantha poodo."
Oddly enough, he didn't feel at all guilty but instead stood up and hid his shimmering fingernails from the sight of Sidious.
Or, so he thought.
"I see the Jedi have corrupted you, just as I knew they would," Sidious cackled before Bail threateningly pulled out his blaster. This instantly silenced the Sith into a stubborn silence.
"After much consideration, my wife-" Anakin began to mumble but was interrupted.
"What is the kriffing Jedi saying?" a Senator bellowed.
Stunned, he found that his voice was gone.
"Speak louder," Bail ordered.
"I ah…"
"He lies!" another senator screamed. "Senator Skywalker would never forget her duty to the Galaxy!"
"She's having another child," Anakin continued through gritted teeth, "and she felt that it would be necessary to-"
Suddenly, the chambers were filled with the sounds of hundreds of senator's snickering.
"Again?"
"Couldn't wait?"
"What's it going to be this time- triplets?"
"Got your hands full over there?"
"Order!" Bail yelled, instantly silencing the boisterous beings. "Although I agree with the majority on this issue, we must still act maturely."
Since when was Bail Organa a bad guy?
But, Sidious decided that he'd been silent enough. "Strong in the Force, young Skywalker will be. Consumed by the Dark Side, I shall make him?"
Though horrified by this threat, Anakin blurted out, "Why are you talking like Yoda?"
Sidious seemed horrified by this revelation. "The therapy sessions, it must be. Revenge, I shall get on you."
Minutes later, the Sith Lord's unconscious body was unceremoniously dragged from the Senate chambers.
"Something of great interest has been brought to my attention, Master Skwalker," Bail said from where he was looking at a datapad. "It seems that you have taken to abusing your wife's handmaidens. What have you to say in your defense?"
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Coming Next: Apparently, the P.W.S. A.H. wasn't joking.
