Author's Note: HBP does not exist in this story. I refuse, at the moment, to write any story with HBP involved. That may change, but currently, my mind refuses to accept that continuance of the Harry Potter books. So please enjoy a nice, AU story set during Harry's sixth year.

Warning: Themes of angst, moderate slash, swearing, etc. Also be warned that the rating has just shot up from PG-13 to R (or using the rating scale on this site, T to M)

Pairing: The only pairing I ever do, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy. A few sub-pairings of Ron/Hermione, attempted Ginny/Harry (and by attempted, I mean only attempted)

Summary: Harry finds a spell that will allow him to have one day with no consequences because no one will remember it, including him. But things happen that he could never have predicted. Does he really want to forget after all is said and done? HPDM, 6th, no HBP

Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter, etc, etc.


One Perfect Something

There's Something Missing

October 20 . . .

It was Saturday, and Harry lay in his bed in the Gryffindor dormitories, scowling up at the ceiling. His friends were going to Hogsmeade, but he had no desire to go with them. He usually loved going to the quaint village and having a soothing Butterbeer at the Three Broomsticks, but today, he just couldn't find it in him to leave his bed. He wasn't ill, but he wanted to be. Then he'd have an excuse as to why he wasn't going and his friends wouldn't be looking at him with those pitying stares. He hated their pity. Hated it.

He heard the sounds of laughter from outside and he dragged himself from his bed to look out the window. The students were heading off to Hogsmeade; their faces alight with happiness and excitement. Harry hated them.

It was odd. Before, he would have looked at their smiling faces and simply not cared. But now, every happy look made him want to scream at the unfairness of it all. How dare they be happy when he was so broken up inside?

He couldn't understand why he felt that way all of a sudden. All he knew was that he liked feeling that way. His hatred made the pain inside him dull a little bit, made it not so bad. And yet . . .

And yet he knew that it was wrong to feel that way. He knew it, but there was something missing in him that had been there only two days ago. He knew it, but something was missing. Something vital.

But what? What could be missing? Nothing out of the ordinary had happened. He'd had a tussle with Malfoy, eaten his meals in silence, and done his schoolwork. It had been a perfectly ordinary day. So why did he feel like he was forgetting something?

He sighed and turned away from the window. Now that everyone was gone, he could wander the castle in peace. Oh, he knew a few teachers had stayed, but for the most part, the castle was empty.

Leaving his robe lying on top of his trunk, he grabbed his wand and his magicked cd player and left the dormitory. Dressed in only a black, long-sleeved muggle t-shirt that had his favorite band's name emblazoned on it and a pair of baggy jeans, he vacated Gryffindor Tower. His black Converse shoes were silent on the stone floors of the school as he wandered. Music blared in his ears, the only noise in his silent world. He liked it that. The music gave him peace, distanced him from the world that hurt.

Until you fight, until you fall

Until the end of everything at all

Until you die, until you're alive

He mouthed the lyrics to his favorite song, lost in the words screaming in his ears. For some reason, the song called to him now more than ever, as if it meant something in real life. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't shake the feeling that the words were very important. Intent on figuring out why, he wasn't paying attention to his surroundings and he crashed into something.

When that something muttered an expletive, he amended his words. He'd knocked into someone, not something. But then again, he thought to himself when he saw whom it is he'd run into, Malfoy could be counted as a something.

"Bloody hell, Potter, watch where the fuck you're going!" the blond-haired Slytherin shouted, getting to his feet. He furiously brushed at his expensive, slightly baggy jeans, attempting to get the almost invisible dirt off. Then he pulled his short-sleeved black button-down top back into place over his crimson t-shirt that had the words, The Used, scrawled on it.

Harry simply glared at him, adjusting his headphones from where they'd slipped off his ears and down around his neck. Jared Leto's vocals resounded from the round ear pieces, since Harry had the volume level at its highest.

Don't save me, don't save me

Cuz I don't care

Don't save me, don't save me,

Cuz I'm not okay

Draco's eyes instantly narrowed, fixing in on the headphones. "How do you know them? They're American."

Of course, Harry instantly wondered how he knew that. 30 Seconds to Mars was an American muggle band, and Draco Malfoy, pureblood extraordinaire, should have had no idea who they were. "How do you know that?"

The Slytherin flushed and looked away from him. "There's a lot you don't know about me, Potter."

Harry immediately scoffed at this. "You're a pureblood ferret who enjoys hurting others. Nothing more, nothing less."

His mind instantly protested, although he somehow felt that he'd said the words "nothing more, nothing less" before. But where? And why?

Anger flashed in Malfoy's silver eyes. "You know nothing. Listen closely to the lyrics of that song you obviously know by heart and maybe your puny brain will comprehend something beyond pitying yourself."

"I don't pity myself!" Harry shouted, clenching his fists.

The blond merely whispered the words, "Until you give, until you've used. Until you're lost, until you lose. Until you see how could you believe."

Then he stalked off, the silver hoop in his ear glittering in the torchlight as he went. Harry frowned after him. What had he meant by saying those specific lyrics of the song, conveniently when they were being sung into his ears by his cd player? That song obviously had special meaning for Malfoy, which was doubly curious.

Puzzled, he continued on his way through the corridors of Hogwarts. Putting the song on repeat, he listened to it over and over again as he mulled over the incident with Malfoy. The blond had been wearing muggle clothes, expensive ones, but muggle nonetheless. And they had been punk clothes, as evidenced by the band t-shirt under his button-down. The Used was another good American band that Harry often listened to. It was curious that Malfoy was into the same kind of music, especially considering that they were so different and that Malfoy should have despised anything and everything muggle. Harry also figured that Malfoy would never have had the chance to discover muggle music since most pureblood families banned that kind of stuff in their households. Although, he could have had the chance after his father had been thrown into Azkaban early on in the summer holidays.

Until you give, until you've used

Until you're lost, until you lose

Until you see how could you believe

Those had been the lyrics that Malfoy had spoken, and Harry knew that he had chosen them for a reason. Until you give, until you've used. Those words brought to mind someone being used by someone else; after all they've given to that person. Could that be referencing his father? Hmm. That could be it, and it certainly tied in with the next words of the song. Until you're lost, until you lose. Perhaps he felt lost after his father was thrown into prison. Until you see how could you believe. Maybe he had realized what a monster his father was and was shocked that he could have believed in him so deeply. It worked. It fit.

But it made no sense. Malfoy was still a complete and utter jerk. He still insulted people, and was, in fact, worse than he had been in years previous. He still lorded over everyone as if he were some superior being. He still hated Harry.

Just moments ago, he had alluded to being human, and in a way, that meant he alluded to having something in common with him. And yet he still fought him.

Harry shook his head. What had his thoughts been trying to say? Of course Malfoy still hated him. A person could have something in common with another and still hate them. And besides, Harry still hated Malfoy, so it was all good.

Wasn't it?

He sighed to himself. His brain was sure being disturbing lately, giving all kinds of weird doubts and such. After a while, it became kind of hard to ignore, although ignore it he did. These thoughts were completely ridiculous and thus of no importance. Then why had he felt a tug in his heart when he saw the flash of pain in Malfoy's eyes when he'd said Malfoy was just a ferret that enjoyed hurting others?

This is my chance, this is myself

Those lyrics to the song popped into his head and he frowned. He himself often felt a connection to that line of the song. It made him want to show everyone who he really was, show them the real Harry Potter. Because they didn't know the real Harry Potter. No one did. He hid behind his mask, hurting inside, pretending that he was all right. But he wasn't all right.

A voice disturbed him from his thoughts, and he looked up to see the Headmaster standing in front of him. He immediately slipped off his headphones and turned his cd player off. "Hello, Professor. I'm sorry, I didn't catch what you said."

The aging Headmaster smiled at him, his eyes twinkling. "That's quite all right, Harry. I was just asking if you'd like to accompany me to my office for a chat."

Although Harry really didn't feel like talking to anyone right now, especially the Headmaster he was still angry with over his manipulations the year before, he nodded. "I don't mind."

"Good, good."

They walked to his office in a companionable silence. Once they reached it, Dumbledore motioned for Harry to take a seat. Harry complied, wondering what he wanted to talk about. He hoped it wasn't about anything serious. He was in luck. Dumbledore was smiling when he opened his mouth to speak, and he said, "Have you ever been to Mars? I have, and it's a funny coincidence, because it does take thirty seconds to reach the planet."

Harry was dumbstruck. His Headmaster sure was random sometimes. "No, this is the name of a band I like."

Dumbledore nodded, looking interested. "Oh, is it a muggle band? I quite like muggle bands. Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen is my favorite song." He hummed a few bars of the song, his voice amazingly in tune.

Well, Harry hadn't expected that. Dumbledore was also into muggle music? "They're pretty good, although I'm mostly into modern music."

"Ah, yes, I'm quite sure you are. But, as much as I love discussing good music, I must say that it is not precisely what I asked you up here for."

For a moment, Harry was worried that the Headmaster did indeed want to talk about serious matter, but then the old man surprised him by asking, "Harry, do you enjoy wearing your school uniform every day?"

Harry wrinkled his nose in thought. "I don't mind wearing it."

"But do you enjoy it?" the Headmaster asked, popping a lemon drop into his mouth.

Harry shook his head, knowing Dumbledore would know if he were lying. And he would be lying is he said he enjoyed wearing his uniform every day.

"I thought so. I was observing the students heading off to Hogsmeade earlier and saw that they were quite pleased to be wearing their own clothes. They appeared to be more comfortable, and took delight in showing others what they liked to wear. Do you share this feeling?"

Of course, Harry even wondered why Dumbledore asked. He knew the answer. Heck, it was staring him right in the face, in the muggle clothes Harry was wearing, even though he hadn't gone to Hogsmeade. "Yeah."

The wise, although that was debatable sometimes, Headmaster grinned and clapped his hands together. "It's settled then! From now on, everyone will be allowed to wear whatever he or she wants under their robes as long as it is school appropriate."

This announcement caused Harry to stare at him, dumbstruck. What? Dumbledore was getting rid of their uniforms? But this was the United Kingdom. People were stuck in the old ways, which meant almost every school made their students wear uniforms. "But won't the Board of Directors have something say about that?"

"Ah, phooey. They'll see how happy the students are and agree that it's for the best."

Harry didn't agree with that assumption, but he did nothing to dissuade the powerful wizard of that. He thought that the whole "no uniform" idea was brilliant, even if a little random.

"Well, I've got to get to work on a dress code now, so off you go, Harry boy. Have a fantastic day!" Dumbledore told him, putting another lemon drop in his mouth.

The Gryffindor sixth year nodded and left the Headmaster's office. He wondered at Dumbledore's sanity, but dismissed the thought. As long as he kept himself occupied with things that didn't involve prying into Harry's business, he could do whatever he wanted.

Harry slipped his headphones back over his ears and turned his cd player on, letting himself distance himself from reality once again. He couldn't deny that he was happy that he could wear whatever he wanted underneath his robes now, but he didn't like staying in the real world for too long. No matter how happy he ever got, it always disappeared too fast if he stayed in the real world. The real world hurt too much.

Cuz I'm not okay

He wasn't okay, and that was the problem. He was messed up inside, and there was nothing he could do to fix himself. He knew he was too sensitive. He knew he shouldn't let things get to him the way they did. He knew, but he couldn't change himself. He was broken, and he would remain that way.


Influence: 30 Seconds to Mars (yes, the song that keeps being featured in this story)

Well, this chapter is significantly shorter than the last one. I hope you don't mind, but I decided that ending the chapter was best. You shouldn't mind, since I've been writing this story like a man possessed (even though I'm not a man). Also note that this chapter is the approximate length of every other chapter in this story, except for the insanely large Chapter Four.

Ahem, now that we've once again established my weirdness (although some would call it uniqueness), onto my notes. And yes, I do have some notes . . . for once.

It may seem out of character that Draco is wearing muggle clothes, as Harry suggests, but yet again, it really is not. I just haven't openly revealed Draco's reason, although I've certainly hinted at it. The next chapter will be more eye opening.

You may be wondering why Dumbledore randomly instituted the no-uniform policy. Don't worry; he hasn't gone insane. His behavior is part my master plan, the plan that involves the manipulative Headmaster knows something the readers (and everyone in the story) don't. Yes, this is my Slytherin side showing yet again. For some odd reason, caffeine makes me slightly evil and definitely sneaky.

I would really like to take a moment to thank everyone who has so generously reviewed this story. I'm in love with it and it makes me happy to know other people feel the same way! Keep telling me what you think; it really motivates me to give you an update sooner, since I'm so obviously writing the story a few chapters ahead of posting.

Have a great day!

Roslyn.