Day 5 - Now

It's one thing to be wanted, but to be desired? That's an end of the spectrum that I wasn't quite sure I had been uncomfortable with until right this moment.

Tommy Oliver was a mystery in my life. The big fat question mark that I yet had an answer for… not that I really wanted one.

I knew coming to Jason's birthday dinner would involve running into my old high school boyfriend, but who knew that I would be watched, preyed, devoured so intimately by Tommy as I sat across from him at the table.

Things between us shifted after our last conversation. Maybe I shouldn't have said what I said last night, but I needed to get it out in the open. I had to tell him how I really felt about what happened between us.

He's been gone the last eleven years, first to bootcamp and then to Afghanistan and Iraq, as he deployed with his company to fight a war that was at its root the prime example of the evil in human existence.

Each time he looked at me felt like the first time. I was a confident woman and under other circumstances, I would marvel at the attention, but there was something so primal about the way that Tommy was looking at me, a word that lives at the tip of my tongue but I dare not speak, and it has me continuously shifting in my seat.

Craved.

Every unexcused look my way, every gaze that lingers too long between us, every single time he eyes me up and down and thinks that I don't notice is another tally mark in the prison I've built around me. Except I'm not any closer to release, in fact, I'm living in a life sentence that is there to remind me that giving my heart to Tommy Oliver is not safe.

"Kim?" Jason smirks my way, his glass of whiskey hovering over his lips.

I instantly break out of my trance, "Huh?"

His grin deepens, "I asked if you liked the food."

My face falls to my full plate. We've been at dinner for over twenty minutes and I've yet to try a single thing. All of my attention had been on the man in front of me, or rather pretending to not notice him at all… The tall man that was still the most gorgeous specimen I have ever had the pleasure of encountering.

"It's delicious," I lied, although I was sure he knew that. My food was untouched.

I heard him murmur something about me being a liar and the smile curved further up his lips.

"And you, Tommy?" Jason turned to his best friend on his left, "How do you like it?"

"Delicious," Tommy returned quickly, his eyes never once wavering from me.

The restaurant, Calliope, was one of many investment properties Jason's parents owned. It was a three-star Michelin restaurant in Santorini and I felt a little out of my element.

I wouldn't deny an all-expense paid trip with some of my longest and closest friends. The whole motley crew planned to get together to celebrate Jason's birthday. He was the first of us to make it to the big 3-0. I couldn't miss it.

The plan had been for all of us to get together, but with all of us having our own lives, it was nearly impossible to get every single ranger that worked with Jason to make the trip, even if it was free. Katherine had other commitments, Billy had to return to a conference in Aquitar, and Tanya and Adam were expecting a little one any minute and couldn't travel.

That just left the rest of us that served alongside Jason and had known him the longest. Of course Trini was behind everything. They have been dating off and on for the last ten years as they settled into themselves. They took the time to venture out on their own and become their own people before they decided to commit for good. That was a drastic difference from Rocky and Aisha who somehow got it right from the beginning. They didn't need to separate or date other people before they knew who they were.

"When did you say Giselle was going to be here?" Jason asked Tommy. Those were somehow the magic words that were needed to break his gaze from mine.

Giselle. The girlfriend.

Tommy's mouth opened a few times, almost as if he had completely forgotten he had been in a committed relationship.

"In two days," Tommy cleared his throat. "She's visiting her family in Spain."

"Are you finally ready to pop the question, man?" Zack laughed, "It's been like two years already. If she's put up with your dumb ass for that long then I'm sure she's the one for you."

Why did the room suddenly feel ten degrees hotter?

Tommy's smile never did quite reach his eyes and when he provided no further explanation for Zack's comment, the guys moved to another conversation altogether.

I'm not quite sure why that comment bothered me. It wasn't like Tommy and I were anything but perfect strangers. We weren't lovers. We weren't friends. Hell, we weren't even acquaintances. We were classified as something that never truly was and never could be.

The phone on my lap vibrated, bringing with it a startling reminder.

Cole: I'm about to go into a meeting. If this deal goes through then you and I will have so much more to celebrate. Call you when I'm done. Love you.

Oh yeah… I have a boyfriend. Fuck.

My fingers hovered over the keyboard, my mind fighting a war as to whether I should reply to my boyfriend of the last year or not. When I felt the heat from Tommy's gaze return, I dropped my phone into my purse, giving me a realization that I wasn't quite sure I was prepared for.

Cole Miller might just be the best boyfriend I have ever had and I've never once questioned our relationship, but whatever is happening between me and Tommy is throwing me in for a loop. I'm feeling things that I shouldn't and what's terrifying me the most is that I'm liking it.

I somehow made it through the rest of the dinner without anyone else noticing that my mind was elsewhere.

Tommy didn't pay much attention to me after the guys had brought up his gorgeous girlfriend… well, I didn't know if she was for certain, but I've never met anyone named Giselle that wasn't drop-dead gorgeous. Tommy had his pick at the litter, he was handsome, successful, hardworking, respectable, what girl wouldn't swoon for him? I'm sure Giselle is as perfect as all of his other girlfriends that Trini has mentioned to me in the past. And to top it off, she's apparently a swimsuit model… yeah, legs for days. I can already tell and I haven't even seen a picture.

The ocean view that seems to hit the edges of the earth from my hotel room window is hidden in the darkness. My friends are around me celebrating, creating lives and memories and I'm… stuck. I'm alone but I'm not alone. I'm just going through the motions of life that I feel that I'm supposed to do. Something is missing, something is just not right but I'm not sure what. Five days ago I thought I had everything figured out, but now, I'm not so sure. Did seeing Tommy really affect me that much?

What is it about him that I can't seem to shake?

Talking to Cole didn't help. He called me after his meeting, talking all about how great the deal to merge to competing companies went. He was a great businessman, a great boyfriend, my parents loved him, and he actively planned to have a future with me, but I couldn't help but feel like something was off. Maybe not with him, but with me. If he could tell by our conversation earlier then he didn't mention it. I want to love him like he loves me.

The knock on my bedroom door startled me. The clock on the nightstand told me that it was a little after ten at night. Nothing good ever comes after dark.

I wasn't sure who I was expecting to be on the other side of the door. A part hoped that it would be Trini or Aisha, but a larger part knew that it could only be one person.

I opened the door to find Tommy sweating and heaving, like he'd just run a whole marathon in the time since we had dinner. I gulped, unsure of what the stirring in my belly was telling me.

"Hey…," My head tilted against the door, my brows raised in a question. "What brings you up here?"

The adam's apple on his throat bobbed up and down. His voice was laced with darkness, "You know why."

I did.

"I do?" I asked the question I already had the answer to.

I can't stop thinking about you either.

There was a silence between us that seemed to linger to infinity. We were both lost in the world. I didn't know him at all but somehow I knew everything I needed to know.

When he took a step forward, my hand shot out to his chest. I meant it to keep him from walking inside my room, but feeling the firmness of his muscles under the palm of my hand had my legs quivering more than they should. My eyes trailed down to my hand and then back up to meet his heated gaze, his lips parted in anticipation. I did the only thing that I could think of… I swallowed.

In my next breath, Tommy's lips were covering mine and the world was fading away. I think I may have sighed, finally releasing the frustration I have felt since the moment I saw him a couple of days earlier. His lips were as soft as I remembered, only they moved so sensually that I was nearly swooning. He and I were no longer he and I. We were just two people that have been fighting this attraction for too many years.

Cole came to mind, but the fight between what I wanted and what a good girlfriend should do was one I was prepared to win.

A good girlfriend should have told Tommy to leave. A good girlfriend should have closed the door on the face of my ex-boyfriend. A good girlfriend should have pushed him away and not pulled him in, but as far as I'm concerned, when it comes to Tommy, being good is the last thing on my mind.


Author note: Hey! Sorry it's been so long but school has been keeping me really busy. I wrote this in the span of a couple of weeks when I had a few minutes of free time. It was just an idea that came into my head that I wanted to share. More will come… eventually! Sorry to keep posting and leaving but 2021 has just been a wild year. I'll see you in my next chapter!