Disclaimer: I don't own any Azumanga Daioh characters.
Note: Same warnings apply. Violence, death, blah, blah, blah.
Azumanga Game Series: Versus Mode
Match 1.2
"And welcome back to the sometimes twenty-third annual Versus Mode Death Match," Kamineko voiced into the receiver of his headset at the end of the five minute commercial break, "If you're just tuning in, we're getting ready now for the second fight of this season. Match 1:1 was Ayumu Kasuga heading up against Kaorin, and if you missed that fight then I'll tell you that it was definitely a fight worth witnessing. Kaorin kept the lead for the most part, but in the end she just couldn't take that mad Osakan heat. I'll go ahead and remind those of you watching from home that you can purchase copies of this season's tournament through our website." He paused a moment to check his watch, then looked out at the battle platform. "Moving right along, it looks like they've got the arena cleaned up and we're ready to keep this tournament rolling."
The two platforms at the center of the arena had descended. Left in their places were two holes, soon to be occupied with the next pair of fighters.
Kamineko took into his hands the stack of papers which were his notes for the current events. The page at the top of the stack was a letter that had been printed out. As an announcer, it was Kamineko's job to keep the air filled with something even when there was nothing going on in the arena itself.
"Just a while ago we received an email from a Mr. Yoshida in the Ginza area. Mr. Yoshida writes: 'I've been watching the games for years and Ayumu Kasuga is definitely my favorite player. Every time I see her, I break out in hives and start biting myself. Have you ever heard of this?' And actually, Mr. Yoshida, we have. Yours is the seventh letter we've gotten that has mentioned some strange effect synonymous with Kasuga's presence out in the arena. We here at the Death Match Broadcasting Committee don't have an explanation, but if you shop around for a doctor long enough I'm sure you'll find one who can give you a pill that will make Ayumu Kasuga disappear completely without risk of side effects."
From outside of the announcer's box there came an abrupt increase in noise level as people once again stood from their seats and began cheering.
At the East end of the arena, a rather large congregate of people who had arranged themselves into several adjacent rows brought out homemade posters and banners and began waving them. Several such groups around the stadium subsequently arose, some consisting of only men, others consisting of only girls, and still others carrying a fair mix of both.
Kamineko glanced up from the letter and saw that one of the competitor platforms had returned. Quickly he tossed the pile of papers aside and readjusted his headset to a more secure fit.
"We'll have to come back to that because right now it looks like the first of our two new competitors has arrived, and the crowd is already going completely out of their minds for this one! A favorite to the masses with perfect measurements of tall, dark, and dangerously sexy, she was the cover model for last month's issue of 'Naked and Half-Naked Women' magazine. One-hundred and seventy-four centimeters worth of chilled death served with a glass of Chateau Margaux, the fighter who never disappoints, it's 'Lone Wolf' Sakaki!"
Sakaki had been ascended to the roof top dressed in the winter style school uniform. Her eyes were open and a serious scowl was already set upon her face as she looked out over the crowd.
Kamineko turned to his laptop and brought up Sakaki's status profile. On the left side of the profile, a three dimensional image of the girl rotated in a clockwise fashion. To the right of the moving display, her basic statistics were listed, including height, weight, ratio of wins to losses, and basic strengths and weaknesses. A mirror display of the screen appeared on the giant TV for all to see.
"Sakaki by far has the vote of a lot of Death Match fans," the cat reported as he brought up another file on the computer. The file was a scanned article from a national newspaper dated from the previous week. "It's not just her performance in the arena, but her elusiveness before the cameras as well. She never gives interviews and does little else but ignore her numerous fan gatherings. I was sure that this aloofness would cost her a lot of popularity in the beginning, but it seems that the more she withholds, the more people want of her. Last week the 'Present Times' published an article about this, and I quote, 'There is not one single accredited individual who can disclose even her first name. A spokesperson for Miss Sakaki avoided questions regarding the girl's personal information and would say only that the rumors surrounding her supposed feline allergies were incorrect."
Out in the arena, Sakaki watched as the hole of the second disc was slowly filled with the form of her competitor. The second disc rose up and locked into its place, its player standing still upon it. Sakaki's eyes narrowed, and then went wide for a brief, barely discernable moment as she took in her opponent's identity.
The crowd too seemed to express an awkward mixture of cheers and mumbles as they glanced upon this new fighter. Some rummaged through pockets and purses for the list of the current competitors while others looked around to see if anyone else knew what was going on.
Kamineko tilted his head to the side and frowned.
"Hm?" the exclamation escaped him accidentally before he too searched for his copy of the tournament line up. He found the paper on the floor by his chair and leaned down to snatch it up. Glancing over the front of the paper, he flipped it once to check the back and then scratched his head. The name that he was looking for was listed at the very bottom of the page right underneath Ayumu Kasuga. Ayumu's name had been underlined and the line had consequently run over onto the name beneath it. He looked up at the second fighter in the arena, then back to the list. "Miruchi?" he announced in a tone that was more questioning than affirmative.
Miruchi stood dressed in the dark blue winter uniform that was issued to girls attending middle school-level classes. Her hands were folded politely in front of her, and the look on her face that had at first been assertive had melted into stark terror when she had gotten a look at her competition.
Suddenly concerned, Sakaki stepped back and looked between the crowds and the referee penguin that stood on her own platform beside the arena. There were no jokes, false starts, or do-overs in the tournaments. Without a doubt she was expected to fight this little girl.
Kamineko hit the 'mute' button on his headset and twisted his seat around. He motioned to his assistant who had been sitting at a desk behind him, organizing game data into a file on his own lap top.
"Matsuyama! Who the Hell is Miruchi?"
The boy looked up, and after giving a slight adjustment to his glasses, reached for a paper that he been half way sitting on. He offered the paper to Kamineko who grabbed it up and turned back around in his seat.
Kamineko hit the 'mute' button again and cleared his throat, scanning the paper quickly.
"Yes, Miruchi! Standing not very tall and not very big, Miruchi is a first-time competitor here in the Death Match tournaments. Anyone who watches the matches on a regular basis probably knows better than to judge a fighter by size. The most obvious example of this is our very own Chiyo Mihama. Chiyo's a sweet girl with a wicked bite, and I'm reading here on Miruchi's profile that the two girls were actually associated with each other before Chiyo herself became a fighter." Kamineko sighed and folded his arms on the table, lifting one hand to scratch behind an ear. "I don't like to jump to conclusions, but I really don't see this match getting past the Blitz round."
The display of Sakaki's profile on the giant TV again switched to that of a timer starting at three minutes. The timer began to count down, and once more the bell beneath the TV clanged to indicate the beginning of the Blitz round.
Miruchi unclasped her hands from in front of her and backed away from her opponent. She would have been able to take on Chiyo, Ayumu, or possibly even Chihiro, but her first battle just had to be with one of the top ranking fighters. She looked towards the penguin referee who raised one of her fins and nodded.
Sakaki swallowed hard, but finally straightened and swept the anxiety from her expression. Up until that point she had been lucky that she had not had to fight any one who was several years younger than herself. She had always wondered what she would do when it inevitably happened, and now she had to figure something out. With her characteristic mask of coolness in place, she walked towards the smaller girl with her right hand lifted in a sign of passivity.
Miruchi started and clenched her hands reflexively to the tie of her uniform as she watched the dark girl approach. She glanced around for something, anything, that she might have been able to use as a weapon, but much to her further disadvantage, the Blitz round was hand-to-hand only.
"Wait," Sakaki spoke up calmly when she saw the girl about to take off, "I'm not going to hurt you."
Miruchi could feel the whimper that caught in her throat. She took another half step back, her knees beginning to shake just slightly as Sakaki came directly up to her.
Sakaki lowered to a crouch and smiled softly at the girl.
"I think there's been a mistake. You shouldn't have to fight me on your first time," she said as she offered out her hand.
For a moment, Miruchi looked cautiously at the outstretched hand. Of all the things that people said about Sakaki, they never said that she was an inherently vicious girl. Sakaki did not pull dirty tricks like Yukari, and she did not view all of her opponents without bias like Tomo. Tentatively, she extended her hand and placed it into Sakaki's upturned palm.
Sakaki closed her hand around Miruchi's and then stood back up.
"Come on," she said with a gentle grin and started off towards the referee's platform.
The grin alleviated much of Miruchi's fears and the girl was able to respond with a soft smile of her own. She followed along with Sakaki, keeping her free hand tightened absently into her tie.
"Thank you," she spoke up to her would-be opponent.
"Don't mention it," Sakaki replied. She slipped her hand out from Miruchi's and placed her arm around the girl's shoulders.
With every full step that Miruchi took, Sakaki took a half, then a third, and then a fourth. She measured the length of her steps subtly to slowly remove herself from the other girl's peripheral vision. At the right moment, several yards before they reached the penguin, she suddenly clamped her hands to the sides of Miruchi's head and wrenched her neck sideways until it snapped.
The entire move had taken no more than a moment. Miruchi hadn't even thought of screaming before suddenly her sensory perceptions were severed and she slumped instantly as dead weight into Sakaki's arms.
Kamineko had taken a moment to copy down some of the more important notes on Miruchi for his own future reference.
"Forty seconds down on the clock and the fighters have yet to-"
He then looked up from his desk and saw that Miruchi was no longer walking with Sakaki but was instead hanging in her arms like a sack of grain. Quickly he grabbed up his binoculars to get a better look at the smaller girl. Only then was he able to seethe blank look in her eyes and the odd kink in her neck.
"Never mind," he continued, "Somewhere between taking Sakaki's hand and walking, Miruchi seems to have died."
Sakaki lowered Miruchi's body to the ground before standing straight once more. Truthfully she had not wanted to hurt the girl and, under the circumstances, Miruchi's death had been as painless as possible.
Despite the lack of blood and action, the crowd joined in collective cheers for Sakaki's behavior. Three large men in fifth row seats stood up and yanked off their shirts. Across the exposed skin of their chests, now revealed were the symbols of Sakaki's name, one symbol bared on each chest.
"We love you, Sakaki!" the middle man with a 'KA' symbol on his chest shouted with his hands cupped around his mouth.
"You're the best!" his obviously intoxicated friend with the 'SA' yelled out.
Sakaki glanced over her shoulder and spotted the three men who waved their shirts back and forth trying to get her attention. She narrowed her eyes and frowned at the lot, though paid them no more mind before making her way back to the platform that had lifted her to the arena.
The penguin stepped from her spot and approached Miruchi's body. Leaning over the prone form, she held one fin under the girl's nose to check for breath .Upon finding none, she then lifted one of her wrists to check for a pulse, of which there was none either. She dropped the hand and then turned to face the West side of the stadium, again raising both of her fins in the air.
"Match 1:2 goes to Miss Sakaki," she announced with no surprise.
Kamineko made a face and tossed away the paper on which he had been compiling information on Miruchi.
"Rack another win for the Lone Wolf. This match was over before it started, but let's get a better look at that first and last move. The Section-G camera probably got the best shot," he said and turned back to his lap top.
Within a moment, the TV displayed a frontal angle of Miruchi and Sakaki. In slow motion, Sakaki was seen to grab the girl by the head as though she were protecting her ears from offensive material. In four frames, Miruchi's neck was twisted and she fell back. It was obvious that she had not been aware of her opponent's intentions as her grin never entirely faded.
Kamineko bobbed his head in understanding as he watched the play for the first time himself.
"Any fighter should be so lucky to have such a quick and painless end. Maybe next time we'll be able to find out a little more about our friend Miruchi, but as it stands now, I think we just might have learned something new about our Lone Wolf, Sakaki," he stated thoughtfully, "With that, Miss Sakaki takes Match 1:2 of the tournament and concludes the fights for today. We'll be here tomorrow night at 8:00, Longitude time with the next two matches of this time's Versus Mode Death Match, so make sure you tune in for the action. I'm Kamineko, reminding you to stay smart by not imitating any of the sequences you might have seen on this show. Our fighters our not trained professionals, but they don't have a choice. Until next time," he ended the commentary and slipped his head set off.
Matsuyama shut down his lap top and stood from his seat. With the games having ended for the day, he set about straightening up the area for use the following day.
"Hey, Kamineko," he said, reaching down for a couple of papers from under the cat's seat.
"What," the feline replied as he picked up the pack of cigarettes that had been resting beside his computer. Taking one of the cigarettes between his lips, he lit the end of it with a disposable lighter. The lighter required five clicks, but finally it resulted with a small flame that was just enough to ignite the cigarette paper.
"Is it true about you and Sakaki? Were you really in a relationship?"
Kamineko chuckled and leaned back in his seat, watching the throngs of people beginning to sift their way from the stadium rows. How they would get down from the stadium was something that he had never really figured out, nor did he care to. They were in the same position as he was, serving a purpose that they couldn't understand.
"What we had wasn't a relationship," he replied, "It was an understanding."
Note: Woot. Glad I got at least that much out of my system. Now it's time to get back to that other fish hook of a story that's been in my eye for the past year. Actually, it would be great if I could just finish something that I start.
