Chapter 2
Three weeks later Sirius was forced and threatened into attending a purebloods only party at Malfoy manner, Sirius would normally been able to suffer through it except that Severus had gotten sick leaving him with absolutely no one to talk to. He was moping and sipping punch at an out of the way table when a pretty blond sat down beside him.
"Do you mind? I'm trying to escape my brother, who keeps making snide comments about my 'improperiety'" the girl asked but by her tone she didn't need permission
"Hey, I know the feeling, but I don't know you gorgeous, which is weird since my mom forces me to memorize the acceptable purebloods with whom I am to associate with" Sirius replied employing his experience with flirting.
"Flirting will get you nowhere, Mr Black, I'm Jasmine, Jasmine Malfoy, and you don't know me because my family is ashamed that I'm a Ravenclaw, so they don't talk about me much." She replied coolly watching her fingernails.
"Of course, you're in my Transfiguration and Potions class, sorry about the flirting, instinctive when I'm trying to pretend that I'm not actually here. You know purebloods guys are expected to be 'players'"
"I've always hated to find out that each of the guys I'm being offered to marry already have atleast one girlfriend, of course their muggle or poor so they won't marry them."
"Yah, it always bugged me seeing my dad with other women, mom didn't seem to mind, she married him for the money."
"Hmmm.. I'm glad someone else realises this life's a lie I was worried that they'd all been brainwashed." She gestured to the floor of dancing couples
"I think it's fear," he mused "in an arranged marriage you don't fear rejection, without love you don't feel heartbreak and if you marry rich you never have to fend for yourself." He shrugged derisively "Not that it matters as soon as I graduate, I'm leaving, getting a job and marrying whoever the hell I want to. Until then I sit here and pretend to be checking out possible pureblood wives while counting the minutes"
"Really, my tactic is to sneak off to the washroom and do my homework" she commented indifferently as she watched her father chat up some pretty maid.
"Yeah, well I've been avoiding my parents so much my homework was done first week"
"Ouch" she winced "At least I can go flying when it becomes too much" her eyes glazed over at the thought
"Really? Do you play quiditch?" he asked interested
"Well, I'd like to play beater, but my family won't buy me a broom because it's unladylike to play quiditch" she responded sadly and he nodded in understanding
"Would you like to dance? My mother threatened that if I did not dance with one acceptable girl there would be severe 'consequences'"
"I'm acceptable?" she inquired surprised
"No but, I'll tell them I didn't know you were an outcast," Sirius grinned and held out his hand.
"Well, I suppose you are probably the best looking bloke here… What the hell?" she shrugged ascending and taking his hand
"Yah, there really isn't much competition in the looks department," Sirius said looking over her shoulder at the other guests. Sadly he was right due to a lot of inbreeding and years of isolation all the pureblooded wizards tended to look very similar, the blacks were an odd exception as Sirius's father was from Spain, obviously he was still a pureblood but even that little bit of variance made a lot of difference.
"You know I'm almost glad I came tonight, at least I'm getting in a decent conversation" she commented as he twirled her in step with the dance.
"Hey, my pleasure" he responded happily. He was always glad to meet pretty girls even though they were Malfoys and therefore not his type.
Lily lay crumpled in a heap, tears running a path down her bruised and malnourished face voices echoing through her head.
'You stupid, worthless freak, it's your fault she's dead, you have these stupid powers but you were too selfish to use them!'
'you can't even protect yourself, what good are you?'
'i needed you and you were too busy at that freak school to care!'
She sobbed harder 'Why do they hate me so much?' she wondered. 'I haven't done anything; I have to get out of here'
She heard the door slam meaning her father had left for work, Petunia had already went to Vernon's, so she was alone.
She knew that it wasn't supposed to be this way, her family was supposed to love her. Yet she came back every summer even though at least two of her friends always offered for her to stay. Maybe it was because she didn't want to admit it had gotten this bad, a part of her still hoped that her father would recover and it would get better. Every summer it got worse.
There was only one place she could think of to go, and that was James' place, she had never been allowed to visit but she had his address. Even if she couldn't stay James would help her find a hotel. Unfortunately, she had no car and was too young to apperate, her house wasn't connected to the floo network so getting there was going to be a challenge. Just then she remembered something Severus had said once, something about emergency transport. Yes, the night bus… or something like that and apparently it wasn't that expensive. She just hoped it'd work.
James opened the door to see one of his best friends on the doorstep and nearly cried out in anguish at seeing the usually vibrant red head looking so desperately broken and downtrodden. Before he knew it he had wrapped her up in his arms and she was sobbing into his shoulder.
"James" she called hoarsely from somewhere just below his neck
"Shhh" he soothed "It's alright, why don't you come inside" and keeping the comforting arm around her he steered her through the house until he came to his rec room where he sat down on a couch, pulling her after him. He called a house elf and within moments Lily had drunk a pain reliever and the slim cut marring her arm was cleaned and bandaged. He stroked her hair gently and the house elf left,
"Come on, tell me about it and I promise I'll do whatever I can," he reassured her patiently
"That's just it, there's nothing anyone can do, it was cancer" she breathed heavily "but sometimes after listening to my father and my sister I wonder if there was no way for me to save her" James knew she was talking about her mom who'd died when she was ten.
"Lily, don't be ridicules, there was nothing you could do, No parent should blame a child for something they can't help. If your family weren't such…"
"Okay so maybe, mom wasn't my fault, but Petunia hates me because I don't stick up for us, but if I use my magic I could be expelled and then I'd lose you guys and I couldn't survive, you guys are all I got left. Petunia is going to get married to Vernon, who is awful because it will get her away from dad, I feel like it should be different, my family should care."
"Lils, listen to me, family is not your blood but your choice, sometimes I feel like my mom and I aren't even family anymore, I mean we talk maybe once a day, we don't even eat together anymore. When I'm with you or the guys it's different it's like"
"the way things are meant to be" she finished
There was no verbal response but James tightened his embrace, pulling her head to rest gently on his shoulder and the two teens sat like that, entwined until they fell asleep.
Sirius Black was not normally a coward, hell, normally he was the brave to the point of recklessness type but if anything scared him it was probably his parents. Too many times had they blown up at him or his little brother as kids for small accidents like breaking dishes or forgetting chores, now that he had committed one of the seven deadly sins in their opinion he was not in a good place.
Sometimes Sirius wished he would be the cowardly type and just let injustices lie, it'd get him into a lot less danger. Somehow he knew that deep down that was what separated him from his family and therefore one of his favourite things.
It had all started after the party when his mom had been disgusted to find out he hadn't yet found a suitable bride…
"I CAN'T BELIEVE YOUR WORTHLESSNESS, ALL WE ASK IS THAT YOU BECOME A PROPER SLYTHERIN HEIR AND INSTEAD YOU BECOME SOME SOFT MINDED, WEAK HEARTED GRYFFINDOR."
"Of course, heaven forbid I disobey the family tradition of hating the world in general to make up for my own misery" drawled Sirius but his mom continued. The tall imperious form of his mother almost literally shaking with fury.
"AND YOUR FRIENDS, SNAPE AND POTTER ARE ACCEPTABLE BUT LUPIN? I'VE NEVER HEARD OF HIM AND THEN SOME MUGGLE BORN WHORE?" Somehow his mother managed to make 'muggle born' sound worse then 'whore'
"I UNDERSTAND THAT YOUNG BOYS LIKE TO ENTERTAIN THEMSELVES, BUT YOU ARE ALL MOST OF AGE YOU NEED TO BE SELECTING A PROPER BRIDE NOT MESSING WITH MUDBLOOD SCUM"
Sirius had had enough he looked straight into the grey eyes that adorned his face and was prepared to disown his family here and now "OKAY, THAT'S IT, FINE CALL ME SCUM OF THE EARTH, TRAITER ECT. BUT DO NOT INSULT A GIRL THAT IS A LOT BETTER OF A PERSON THEN YOU WILL EVER BE"
Sirius continued in a dangerously low tone "Yah, our family is great, father's probably out getting laid somewhere while you scream at me, oh how could I think of betraying such a happy…" but he didn't finish as his mother's eyes shot with furry
"DIFFINDO" the black haired women hissed. Sirius dodged, barely missing the hiss of sickly yellow light and that only seemed to infuriate her further.
"CRUCIO" She shrieked. Sirius never quite knew why he didn't dodge that curse probably it was out of shock that his mother could be so totally cruel or maybe he just wanted some physical pain to drown out everything else.
Whatever the reason the bolt hit him in the chest and seemed to absorb into his skin. As the curse sank in his body began shaking compulsively as every muscle in his body was stretched past it's limits. His mind screamed with agony praying that death would end it yet he stayed silent. That was the one thing he'd learned from his family, to suffer in silence.
Regulas Black shuddered as he watched his mother curse his brother for what seemed like the millionth time in two days. Ever since the party Sirius seemed to be taking more abuse then either brother had experienced in their whole lives. He didn't understand why his brother wouldn't just admit he was wrong, his parents were reasonable, surely then they would stop.
He was beginning to doubt it would ever end, that he would always tiptoe around the house like a ghost in fear of his family.
Finally it escalated to the point where his father got involved and if there was anything on this planet that could scare him it was his father in a rage.
Curses and blows together rained down until Sirius was a bruised and bloody mess, the dark haired boy just took it until suddenly there was a crack like thunder and his brother was just gone. Regulas waited until his parents had left before dragging his brother's trunk unto the porch, because he thought Sirius would need it.
On the way back to his room he passed the living room and on the floor a blood stain was the only reminder that his brother had been here at all. Again the eleven year old quailed weren't families supposed to be connected by love and loyalty. Was this red stain the only thing keeping his together? he sighed
"Siri, I miss you"
Lily's Log
So I finally did it, I Lily Evans have run away from home- and the angels sang out in an immaculate chorus. No really I'm happy about it I hate taking charity but I'd rather take charity somewhere where I feel like I belong then rot somewhere I don't. Besides James was so sweet today, I completely forgot it was usually Remus whose a better comforter.
Actually I don't know why I never told the boys before, I'm sure
they'd have helped. I guess it never got so bad before and until I
got to Hogwarts I always figured I deserved it. I know, I know stupid
but well I hated being the victim, every hero I've ever heard of
deals with it alone so I didn't want to ask for help. Everybody
always tells us that strong girls don't cry and when they fall they
just get up again. I wanted to prove I was more then the damsel in
distress, I know that the guys hate those types. Maybe there's a
difference between being helpless and needing help sometimes. So I
wrote this it kinda reflects how I feel helpless…
Invisible
chains
I sit here bound to a chair
I struggle but cannot break free
Not by ropes of course plastic hair
But the iron grip of authority
A caged bird is a sad one
Yet the cage is all I know
A dreary half existence
Alone in the snow
It keeps me bound to this chair I can't see
The rules and laws keeping me here
Far from where I wish to be
Afraid of something I barely comprehend
The verbal whip
The dreaded reprimand
I want to cry for mercy
End this unbearable torture
No one seems to hear my desperate plea
And, so I sit afraid to stand
Imprisoned away from my individuality
Still bound by unbreakable chains
And a cage I feel but can't see
Not bad ehh? Well it's not Shakespeare or Kipling (IF is my favourite poem ever) but not bad for a teen drabble. By the way never tell the boys I write poetry or I'll shred you, I mean it.
The always lovely, gracious talented (and modest)
Lily Marie Evans
