Chapter 5

A/N: Hello small but hopefully loyal group of followers, I know it's been a while but then school just restarted. Anyways to make up for my absence this udates about twice the usual length. Enjoy
Please tell me if you have any suggestions or you feel a character is becoming background it's not intentional but they do sneak away on you. R&R

Disclaimer: I'm afraid to say I don't own Harry Potter's affiliated characters although if I was going to own any of them you can guess which five I'd pick, or maybe I'd change James for Bella, I always liked her. Anyways don't own them never will but if I did I probably sell them for millions of dollars.


Getting on the Hogwarts express the next day was the rough equivalent of chaos, first problem the boys woke up half an hour late and so Lily who'd been up for two hours reading watched in amusement as the boys rushed around getting dressed and packing (except for Remus who'd done it the night before). Unfortunately the three remaining marauders were a little vain to say the least and it was very lucky that James's house had enough bathrooms for all the preening boys, Lily who took about ten minutes to get ready was endlessly amused when it took Sirius twenty to do his hair.

"You know, Moony sometimes I think Padfoot really should have been born a girl" Lily commented

"You could be right, Nightshade, but if he was he'd have to be a lesbian considering his deep love of anything in a skirt"

"Hey, I heard that" came an indignant voice from the bathroom

"I know you did, wouldn't have bothered otherwise" smirked Remus as he and Lily sat back to watch the rest of the show.

Twenty minutes later the Marauders were gathered on the platform, none of them were really expecting their families to see them off but Sirius was waiting for his brother so they were here anyways. Regulas Alpferd Black timidly approached the barrier only to be intercepted by his older brother. He couldn't repress a smile at seeing the only person who'd ever shown him any real affection even if he was away ten months of the year.

"Hey Reg"

"Mother and Father have instructed me not to talk to you as you are officially disowned" the smaller boy almost whispered half looking over his shoulder to make sure their parents were out of sight.

"I know, but Reg do you really want to listen to them only to end up married to a girl you hate and raising brats just to continue the family line just like them?"

There was a silence as Regulas accepted what they both knew to be the truth "What choice do I have Siri? I'm not brave like you and I'm only eleven so I have to go back there every summer"

"The sorting is about choice. You've always loved reading and writing Regulas, if you end up in Ravenclaw and the family disowns you you'll be welcome at my place. Uncle Alpferd left me some gold next summer, I'll legally be of age and I plan to get a flat and I could probably get custody of you." He reasoned and Regulas seemed unsure "Just think about it, will you?" and Sirius walked back to his friends leaving his little brother with a lot to think about.


The Marauders managed to get a compartment to themselves, Lily and Remus were prefects but they didn't want to go to the meeting so they asked Mandy who was one of the Hufflepuff prefects to bring them schedules.

Lily and Remus may have some of the highest marks Hogwarts had ever seen but they had no interest in obeying the rules that strictly. Besides the marauders still had some serious catching up to do, summer stories to be told, pranks to be planned, full moons to contemplate, ect.

Severus was particularly eager to discuss the potion he'd given Remus before the summer started.

"So how did it work?"

"Well it did reduce the pain of the transformation a bit and I didn't self mutilate quite so much but the smell of humans still drove me wild and I can only remember flashes"

"Oh right," Severus took out his notebook "I knew the unicorn hair would be more effective if…. but no that could counter act the pain relievers in the Knot Grass… if only" and as it was evident that Severus was no longer talking to him Remus went to say hello to Sirius and James.

So it was that after nearly two months apart the Marauders became one group again, the terror of Hogwarts and siblings in every sense of the word.

Later at the sorting…

The boys were doing the usual thing groaning and moaning about their hunger even if they'd eaten a large quantity of sweets not even five hours ago on the train. Meanwhile Lily had pulled out her book "The Last Battle" by C.S Lewis and was ignoring them completely. However all their attention was drawn to the front as Black, Regulas was called. Sirius's little brother walked slowly to the stool where he placed the hat on his head. The hat took a full two minutes before calling "Slytherin" a round of polite unsurprised applause came from that table. The marauders didn't notice this though as they saw Sirius stiffen before he put up his blank face the one that usually meant he was struggling with something.

"Padfoot maybe it'll be okay" James reassured

"Not every Slytherin is evil" Severus added they were all aware how close he'd been to being put in that house

"Maybe he's just ambitious" suggested Remus gently

"Maybe" said Sirius running his hand through his hair and not looking convinced in the least

"Comeon let's eat" Lily gestured to the paltes that had just filled and all four boys dug in as though it was going to vanish a moment later. During dinner they managed to keep the conversation light, speculating about the new teacher (the DADA teacher's chair was empty), catching up with some other people from their house. Severus was remarkably talented as he managed to consume mass amounts of food with a girl in his lap while pretending to listen to what Mandy was saying.


After the feast Sirius went to talk to his little brother again

"Hi, Reg"

"Sirius" he greeted "This is Gary and Rudulpho" he introduced the other first years sitting with him.

"Popular already I see" there was no mistaking the bitterness that Regulas managed to fit in where Sirius was cast out. Not that he wanted to be a Slytherin really but why should his brother. Waht was so great about being a slimey snake anyways.

"Among my own kid yes," Regulas said emotionlessly and Sirius could see the spark of defeat in his eyes

"Why couldn't you even try?"

"What's the point?" the boy demanded bitterly

"The point is I'm your brother, doesn't that mean anything?" he knew he sounded desperate and that he was earning a couple funny looks but Sirius had never cared about that, however it was obvious that Regulas was uncomfortable.

"Nothing means more then family, but you are no longer part of mine" His eyes begged Sirius to quiet down his voice and move away this wasn't against him but they had to stop now before something was reported to their parents.

"Fuck you, Fuck thee whole damn lot of you" Sirius responded and left there was nothing else to be said


Remus and Lily were prefects and so they gave the password and the five entered the tour that they looked at as home. They were all tired what with it being the first night back so they went to the dorms.

Sure enough as always there was the familiar four beds (no one knew why there were so few Gryffindor boys that year). As always Remus claimed the one near the book case, Sirius claimed the one next to his with the window and Severus and James went to the place where their trunks were already resting. No one bothered to unpack, the only neat one was Severus and even he was tired. Everyone quickly slid into pjs and descended into sleep, filling the room with James' snores.

Sirius couldn't be exactly sure when it was he woke up, only that he wasn't going back to sleep.

He silently crept out of the common room and down a quick secret passage out unto the roof where he planted himself down and pulled out a bottle.

' here's to family loyalty' he raised the bottle to his lips gulping it down as it burned his throat and his eyes blurred but somehow it made his mind softer and his pain duller.

'Yeah, what do I care for that little SOB'


The first week was a rollercoaster of homework and social time, highs and lows.

On Monday they had potions first thing and while Severus might have been happily plotting his next project everyone else groaned under their breath. Slughorn waddled into the classroom five minutes after the bell and cleared his throat

"AS you all know I like to hold small get togethers for promising pupils, There will be one on Halloween and we've even got a band so work hard and you could do some good networking and have some fun" He intoned pompously his large bulk swaying slightly. Meanwhile the class stared uninterestedly at their books or at various walls. James and Remus played a very violent game of tic tack toe with Sirius doing whispered commentary. At this statement though Sirius couldn't resist comment.

"Fun, like a blow to the head" Sirius pointed out rising slightly to look the oldman in the eyes

"What was that Mr Black"

Sirius tossed the hair from his eyes gave his dazzling lopsided grin and repeated the statement.

"Sir I said like a blow to the head in reference to your so called 'parties, sir"

The class snickered and the handsome boy accepted his detention for disrespect with a gracious bow. Slughorn scowled and turned to write directions on the board.

After that Severus proceeded to improve upon the potion on the board, adding his own touch to the truth potion to make it harder to resist, Slughorn grimaced as he granted him an O. The teacher hated to know that one of his pupils surpassed him with ease.

Remus was about as hopeless at potions as one could get, he accidentally blew up or melted almost as many cauldrons by accident as Sirius did on purpose, the dog Anamagi had actually started paying for the werewolf's cauldrons, calling it an investment in chaos. It was sheerly due to partnering his friends and nearly perfect homework that he was still in this class.

Predictably Remus's potion was a sickly grey colour as apposed to the azure colour of Severus's

"Lupin watch that powdered bicorn horn" Remus just snorted, it was hopeless as always. He may as well just go into bomb design the only thing he made in this class were explosives.

As the potions master moved on, his black haired friend put a comforting arm around his shoulders

"Ahh, this class is for megalomaniacs and girls anyways"

"but Severus" Sirius grinned at him

"Exactly"

Lily shuddered as Slughorn came over he always gave her this slimy feeling under her skin.

"Miss Evans, may I call you Lily?" he got no response he asked her that almost every class and hadn't taken the hint yet.

"This is sensational as per usual"

"Thank you, sir, my partner helped" she gestured to James but he doubted that was true as the boy seemed to be drawing a very detailed snitch on the cove of his unopened potions text book.

"And Mr. Potter have you heard from your father lately" Slughorn had been good friends with James' dad which probably explained the boy's dislike.

"No, haven't seen the basterd since he walked out the door" venom crept into his tone at the mention of his estranged father "and if you ask me it can stay that way"

"You really shouldn't talk about your father that way, he is a good man" Slughorn protested unaware exactly how close he wa sto being hexed.

"My father was a bully obsessed with his public image, though maybe that is why you got along so well" he growled and Lily restrained him with a hand gently resting on his arm.

Slughorn didn't comment whether he was giving up or he just didn't want to really be associated with the scandal around Daniel Potter he walked to examine the potions of the Ravenclaws.

Sirius looked up from his careless concoction and recognized a blonde head.

"Hey, Moony" he stage whispered and his partner turned around irritatiedly

"Padfoot, I'm already very nearly roasting alive I don't have time for interruptions"

"But Remmy it's her" he sounded exited but Remus just rolled his eyes Sirius got exited about close to One 'her' a week.

"Who?"

"The blonde girl I was telling you about, the Malfoy, Jasmine I think"

"Oh your latest crush" Remus dismissed turning back to his potion

"Hey" he glanced over at the pretty girl that his friend gestured to

"Well, she's a looker I'll give her that and oddly enough I don't believe she's dated any one of us" This actually was abnormal because between the boys they'd dated most of the good looking girls at Hogwarts.

When the bell finally ring an hour later Sirius swaggered over to the girl in question. she hadn't noticed him yet as she was busy packing up

"So Jasmine, What's up" Sirius lilted

"Oh, Black it's you, can't you annoy someone else?"

"Aww, I like it right here"

Just then Lily ran over

"I swear males think with their hormones"

"No kidding" the Ravenclaw snorted "I feel bad one brother's bad enough"

"It's a full time job, Sirius don't you have divination"

"But, I predicted I was about to score" He grinned

"Obviously your inner eye needs correctional lenses" called Jasmine as she left the dungeons


When the marauders reunited for lunch (Sirius and James had divination while the others had ancient runes) they sat down at what had been dubbed their spot. They always claimed the same section of the Gryffindor table and no one bothered to protest by now.

Remus and Sirius could eat mass quantities of anything you put in front of them (Remus especially liked meat near his time of the month), the others were slightly more restrained although they were all glad to be eating Hogwarts food again.

"You know I never realised it but I missed this" Sirius commented between shovel fulls

"missed the food? That we noticed" commented Lily with vague disgust

"Nah, though that's good too, I missed all the people, the chaos, the mindless chatter, you guys all know about my dislike of being alone" and they did. Sirius' neglectful childhood had left him with some self esteem issues. Part of this went into his constant need for attention, he also had a stronger tendency towards physical contact then average. Most teenage boys were awkward with hugs and might have felt weird about him putting his arm around them. However it was just something they'd gotten used to.

"So what's everyone got this afternoon?"

"Double DADA across the board" replied Lily checking over the schedules

"That's odd I remember Dumbledore announcing Miss Mclung's retirement but I don't remember him saying who'd be replacing her"

"I liked Miss Mclung" grinned Severus wistfully

"Of course you did, she was a half veala" Remus pointed out "all the guys 'liked her'"

"Except you" James retorted

"because she seemed to not know anything and was always flirting"

"We didn't mind" responded the other boys together

"Why didn't she affect you anyways?" asked Lily interested

"Werewolves are immune because we're not entirely human" Remus said with a trace of bitterness but the others brushed it off

"Cool" Sirius mused

"Anyways lets hope our new teachers are better" Lily crossed her fingers mentally for a good looking guy, there really wasn't much in the eye candy department at Hogwarts just then. Unless of course you counted her friends and admittedly they were all handsome but she tried to avoid the awkward situation that would put her in. She still blushed when she thought of last summer when she'd had a crush on Remus. It hadn't lasted that long but it had been embaressing enough as she couldn't talk to him without blushing for a month.


The five students travelled jovially down to class as was their routine and placed themselves in the five seats closest to the back of the class room. The bell rang seconds later and their classmates filed in slowly. Once they'd all arrived there was a bit off a buzz at the obvious lack of teacher. Sirius had just put his legs up on his desk when a tall black haired women of about thirty appeared in what they'd assumed was an empty desk.

Lily glanced at her face and fought back a shudder her blue eyes were like ice.

"I am Professor Patterson and That class, was a disillusionment charm we'll be learning that next term, who can suggest other ways I could vanish?" Several hands went up and she began picking at random

"Miss Brooke?"

"An invisibility potion" suggested the brunet Ravenclaw

"Excellent, Mr Thompson?"

"An invisibility cloak"

"ahh yes for those who can afford it? Miss Evans"

"Concealment charms" Lily intoned

"Why yes, though those are more common on inanimate objects" There were no more hands in the air and the professor sighed. She walked to the chalk board blue robes flowing behind her.

"Okay class, good you got the common ones, but if you want to pass this class you will have to think outside the box, yes I could do any of those things but I could also use distraction charms, transfiguration or visibility impairing spells"

"Professor, couldn't you also use animagaus or metomorhi abilities?" asked James

"Yes, although these abilities are not for everyone" she paused "I myself cannot do either as I have never been good with transfiguration" the teacher admitted "although I'll bet I could cream any one of you in a duel, anyways turn to p63 in the text book"

For the rest of that class they took notes on different concealment methods and were assigned an essay for Friday.


It's amazing how fast time flies by in a blur of homework, detentions, pranks and other adventures. The marauders were having one of their best years yet by anyone's standards, with no major exams this year the classes were a little more relaxed then last year even if the work was harder.

The only damper was Sirius's mood, he seemed to have an odd depression he couldn't shake and it was beginning to show. The first couple of times Sirius came back hungover or ended up with a girl in his bed, both of them with little memories of what had happened the marauders had covered for him. It was a phase, he was always a little rebellious and this was just going a little further. They forged his homework and made his excuses for missing class, everyone needed help sometimes.

However it was getting more and more frequent and they were beginning to worry that Sirius was headed for something worse. Finally they elected that Severus should talk to him.

"But why me? Lily, you're the one who's so concerned"

"because Corbin, I'm a fuck'n virgin, I don't drink or cut class, we've been over this, if it comes from me he'll take it as though I'm an overprotective mother"

"but that's exactly how you're acting, I realise you may be 'little miss morals' but some of us are still searching for our identities, if he wants to experiment, I see no reason to stop him. Why are we even bothering to cover his ass, the teachers will catch on eventually"

"I tolerate your drinking, because I know there's a difference between having a drink at parties and alcoholism, however it tore apart my family and Sirius is getting dangerously close" her voice broke and James wrapped his arm gently around her shoulders

Remus softly hissed "She's right you know, she's just worried, even you were concerned when we found him in a drunken sleep in the Room of Requirement on a Wednesday during lunch"

"I guess," the pale teen sighed "I just hate to be a hypocrite"

"We aren't going to stop him from doing this if it's really what he wants, but right now I think he's trying to hide his scars, we just need to remind him that we're here to pick up the pieces"

"But, he's not going to want some sappy mumbo jumbo about the protection and kindness of friends"

"Which is exactly why we're sending you" James said with finality and as Severus was out-numbered and out voted he went to find their canine friend.

Using the marauders map it was fairly easy to locate the missing canine, he was currently in a fourth floor corridor chatting up some Hufflepuff. Severus sighed with irritation and quickly stalked the hall using the secret passageways to approach almost unseen.

Seeing the girl in person he recognized her as a former girl friend and one of the girls known for a 'reputation'.

"I'm sorry, Ashley is it, will you excuse us?" and he dragged Sirius away without waiting for a response and pinned him against the wall with a fist

"Listen, Black, I don't know what's going through your head lately but it has to stop"

"Well if this doesn't make you a hypocrite" Sirius sneered as Severus was usually worse then he was

"You're right and I wouldn't even be here if Shade and Moony weren't so worried, if you want to screw up your own life that's your business, but you're not the only one with problems,"

"You think I don't know that, I've seen Remus after a full moon or Lily after the summer and that makes me want to cry but I can't, I'm supposed to be strong.. and now Regulas" he paused and tears formed. "He's still the little brother I swore to protect at the solemn age of ten. I used to take credit for his mistakes to protect him from the beatings and yet still he"

"Yet he betrayed you and you can't understand it"

"Exactly"

"not everyone is a hero, Padfoot, Regulas may not be brave but he has his own things to contribute and he loves you, he will remember it before the end"

"But not before it's too late for him" Sirius lamented bitterly

"I won't lie to you, Sirius but you can drink yourself to death and Regulas will still follow the wrong path, all you can do is do the best with your own life" With that Severus got up and left. Sirius was still pressed up against the wall for another twenty minutes. When he arrived in the common room he plunked down on the couch and joined in a game of exploding snap without a word.


Of course the Marauders often studied together so they could spread out James transfiguration talents, Severus's prowess at potions, Lily's charm abilities and everyone was generally proficient making keeping top grades not much of a challenge.

One cloudy day they were all lounging around in one of the many secret passageways they used regularly. Lily broke off from reading and shouted

"I get it"

"What?" all the boys asked confused Severus had been dazedly staring at a Ravenclaw across the room, the brunet was bending over to look at something giving him a nice wiew. He started and turned to the rapidly talking red head

"This book," she finished "It's part of a series that's a metaphor for the bible and I finally get what it's talking about."

"Lils, none of us are religious so you're going to have to use small words and real logic"

"Okay it's like this, this book is about the end of the world and it's trying to say that the earth is only a image of a small part of a huge universe and that we really belong with god. Our spirits are just sent here to live for a while and when death comes we go back to the real version and live forever"

"Nut jobs, that's why I'm not religious" Sirius murmured

"I disagree Shade, I don't believe there is an afterlife" Remus

"So what we all just sit in our graves" Severus scoffed "That's cheerful, imagine not moving for centuries"

"No when we die our spirit vanishes ceases to exist"

"Wouldn't that be painful or scary?" Lily mused

"Nah, think about it, why live for ninety years only to go on living in heaven or to go on existing as the ghosts do? No I think it's more like when we die our spirit is put at rest, like sinking into REM state sleep."

"I don't like to wonder about death, 'cause then I wonder why I exist and commit suicide," Sirius pointed out

"Alright then back away slowly and don't make eye contact" James commented


Lily had been having trouble in a non school related area: boys, ten had asked her to the next Hogsmeade weekend, she'd refused them all of course but the male marauders still felt it necessary to prank every last one. Lily was naturally mad but realised there was no way to stop it so she just left it in the hopes the boys would get board.

It was getting unbearable at lunch Ryan Sampson a hufflepuff prefect from her year pulled her aside.

"Yes, Ryan" she knew what was coming and was hoping he wouldn't ask

"Would you I mean … I like you and… there's I Hogsmeade visit, I was wondering"

"If I wanted to go?" he nodded vigerously

"Ryan I'm sorry you're a really nice guy and I like you.. just not"

"in that way?" he sounded crushed

"yes, I'm sorry"

"No, it's okay, thanks for being so nice about it" he rushed off in embarrassment.

By dinner the marauders somehow found out and used a curse that reacted with male hormones for a very 'icy' touch.

"But Lils for that curse to take affect he had to be thinking about a girl with red hair" protested James

"We were merely protecting your innocence" Sirius insisted running a hand through his hair.

"Fine, then you hypocrites, I'll protect the female populations innocence" she waved her wand furiously. Suddenly Sirius's ears and James nose began to grow, they stopped at twice the usual size. Counter curses were useless as Lily had designed the charms herself. The boys shrugged and began eating their dinner. It wasn't until a girl named Grace Harlot came over and started to chat up James that there was a problem. Suddenly his nose was growing again and as the girl recoiled in disgust Lily's comment made sense. The muggle born students laughed quietly and Remus grinned

"Pinocchio, nice touch Shade"

"Why that you Mr Moony, I do hope you also enjoyed dear Dumbo" Lily gestured to Sirius whose ears were huge and flapping comically.

Many things happened in the first few weeks of school. James began going out with a Miss Talia Strong. Lily who couldn't bear to sit around and watch all three of her ale friends chat up bimbos all the time began seeking female companionship.

"No offence to you Rem, you can play chess with one of them or another guy or read but it is getting unbearable, I think I'll go to the library and see if I can find someone to tutor me in Defense." For some reason Lily could just not do curses. She was so naturally gifted at most magical arts that this came as a shock.

She was sorting through a huge pile of books on curses and their origins, methods and practical applications when a girls voice sounded

"What's with the sudden obsession?"

"Oh, hi, Jasmine, right" The blonde Ravenclaw nodded "Well for some reason I can't do curses at all, I've tried everything"

"Didn't you have them before?

"Well we've never had a DADA teacher this tough before, I could always use another spell instead but…" Lily sighed in frustration "Professor Patterson insisted that I learn a curse specifically"

"Then I'm guessing she knows of your problem and there is a solution"

"Like I've said I've tried everything"

"Show me, just try one any curse"

"Okay", Lily agreed raising her wand and aiming for her textbook "Funnucalas"

Jasmine watched as Lily did everything exactly right but yet got no results.

"Let me try, I'll see if I can tell the difference" Jasmine cast the same spell and Lily's text book was covered in boils.

"hmm…" she waved her wand in the counter spell "Evanesco"

"I think I've got it"

"Well what is it?"

"You don't hate it"

"What? The text book? why would I hate that and what does that have to do with anything?"

"No, listen, curses are all designed to damage and destroy, so to do them you have to summon the will to destroy, the hatred"

"Well then how come no one else has this problem?" Jasmine shrugged

"Most people use emotions to power their magic, so with a curse it's natural to use anger or hatred"

"but I always keep my emotions under tight locks, I can do charms, potions, incantations and transfiguration using brain power or positive emotions"

"But with something so negative as a curse"

"I need negative fuel"

"Exactly, now how do we go about this?"

"I don't know I've been keeping all my negative emotions under control since" the silence said everything Lily couldn't "I've never actually 'used them' before"

"Okay this is going to take some work, focus on someone you hate" Images blurred before Lily as she picked the one person who made her feel weaker then any other.

"Now focus on pouring all that through your wand and saying the incantation at the same time"

Lily did as instructed and tried to let the wrath flow through her taking almost physical form

"funuculous" this time there was a flash and a bang however there was still no affect.

"All right at least there's power now, we are getting somewhere but, we've got a ways to go". The after school study sessions became a regular event twice a week for the girls, Jasmine was eager to learn more about potions. Lily enjoyed the testosterone free environment.



A/N:Wow, that was even longer then plaanned can I hear some thank yous, perhaps in review form. just kidding but really I'd love feedback I know there's soemthing wrong eith my writing I just can't figure out what it is. what characters should have bigger roles? Plot suggestions? I've got a general layout but I'm pretty open. Would you like longer or quicker updates, comeon people I need information.