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Chapter 15
A promise
Snape poured the hot tea into a chipped cup and added a few drops of revitalizing potion.
"I want you to tell me in detail what happened." - He said as he handed the cup to Lupin.
"I had never experienced such a feeling; it was almost like going into ecstasy. The smell, I could not quite understand what it was. Like wilderness, like the change of the seasons. My body was anesthetized, but almost immediately the pain came, I felt a tingling all over my body, my stomach ached, my veins burned, and then everything went black." - Lupin's gaze was lost, he was trying to put into words what had happened to him.
"You regained consciousness very quickly, though".
"Yes, once I vomited".
"How do you feel now?"
"Just a little tired. Do you think the blood has poisoned me?"
"It may be, but I've never heard of human blood being poisonous. I suspect ... and I'm just making an assumption here, that it's more of a purge type of thing".
"Purge? Purge what?"
Snape stared at him, thoughtful. He had a suspicion, but it was still too early to draw any conclusion.
"I'm still not sure about that." - He answered. - "I need a few samples of your blood. It is important".
Lupin agreed, drawing his wand and making a cut along his arm while he asked:
"The Akardos, are you absolutely sure she is safe at Malfoy Manor? Don't you think it would be more sensible to take her to Hogwarts?"
Snape narrowed his eyes.
"I am following orders, Lupin. I don´t know how you expect me to do that. On what basis?"
"Her safety!"
"Her… safety." – Repeated Snape drawling his words. His indignation bubbling up under his mask of indifference. - "I have already told you, I have taken all the necessary precautions".
"But…"
"Have you seen Tonks lately, by any chance?" – Asked Snape with a casual tone while collecting a few test tubes of the flowing blood.
Lupin opened his eyes, surprised to hear that question coming from Snape. Since when was he interested on his personal life?
"I… no. I have not."
"Her Patronus changed." – Continued Snape without looking at him. – "It's a wolf now. I suppose that's why you have decided to come and hide in the middle of nowhere".
"I am not hiding". – Said Lupin embarrassed. – "Dumbledore has sent me on a mission…"
"Sure… then I am wondering why that poor thing Nymphadora looks like a walking disaster. An unrequited love, perhaps?" – His low voice, embellished with a delicate scathing tone. - "You have always been a coward, Lupin. Since you were a cub at school, hiding behind your friends, behind Dumbledore. I advise you to take care of your own problems this time and turn your snout away from what does not concern you".
Lupin opened his mouth to answer but then Snape stood up.
"Thank you for the samples. I will know where to find you if I need you".
. . .
Severus sat back in his office chair, rubbing his eyes wearily, a mountain of ungraded homework over his desk. He called off the last two classes he had that afternoon. He kept finding it ironic that when he had finally obtained his coveted position as a Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher, the circumstances in which he now found himself made him lose all interest in teaching a bunch of brats.
He turned his attention back into the heavy book on his lap, the most ancient encyclopaedia from Dumbledore's private library. A few paragraphs describing the Akardos people and the devastation they caused to the wizarding world, very insignificant data regarding studies with their blood, not a single word about an association between Akardos and Werewolves. Nothing. Always the same: nothing.
Severus looked up at the stone ceiling, his thoughts dwelt on the earlier events. Why was Lupin so appealed by the blood? He talked about a smell, a smell that he himself was not able to feel, a smell that even Lupin could not discern. Deep down, he even resented not being the one losing consciousness in front of the scent of the blood. What would that smell be like? What is it he was missing?
He stood up and walked to a corner of his office, right behind his desk, there, in a locked cabinet, protected by guard spells of his own invention were some of the most potent and dangerous potions, being kept out of the reach of the unscrupulous hands of his students.
The dark gaze slowly wandered over the different bottles: Felix Felicis, Veritaserum, Polyjuice Potion, Death's Breath. He read every label without really needing it; he knew the contents of each of them by heart. His eyes finally moved to the third shelf, in the exact spot between the Draught of Living Death and the concentrated unicorn blood serum. There was the little bottle, sealed with a lavender wax seal, labelled only one word: Amortentia.
Severus picked it up slowly, feeling the cold contact of the glass against his hand. It had been less than a year since he last smelled it, having to teach the most powerful love potion in existence to sixth-year students. A torture he'd had to undergo every year for the past fifteen as the potion master.
He hated having to show them the mother-of-pearl sheen, the distinctive spirals emanating from the potion, as he drowned in the inclement scent that tormented him: Lilies, the smell of hundreds of lilies concentrated in the classroom, as if suddenly a field of those white flowers would have sprouted in the dark dungeon where he taught. The intense smell that sometimes appeared in his dreams had followed him since the day he fell in love with Lily.
Severus sat down again, placing the small bottle in front of him. Hesitating for a moment, he also placed one of Laurel's blood ampoule right next to it and stared at both bottles for at least a minute. His hands were sweating, his breathing was fast. He was nervous and didn't quite understand why.
He was scared. The sweet memories of his youth with Lily awakened, he again heard her angelic laughter, the wit in her conversation, the kindness in her behaviour. She was beautiful, and he had betrayed her, given her up, and now she was gone.
He was afraid of forgetting her, he was afraid of betraying her memory, of betraying the love that he had sworn to keep forever by pouring his affection on another woman and panic seized him at the thought that this time, Lily would really disappear from his life altogether.
He was not going to be able to open that bottle, to face reality. What would he feel when he inhaled the Amortentia? The usual scent of old books, petrichor, and the overwhelming smell of lilies? Or this time it would be something different? Something that would make him hallucinate like Lupin. He took the potion, holding his breath, fingers about to break the seal… And if it was not reciprocated? If he put his hopes back on someone else and then be thrown aside? Or if, on the contrary, she loved him, how could she understand the dangerous task he was facing? Was it worth feeling love for someone as miserable as him? Wasn't he condemning her like he condemned Lily before?
He opened one of his desk drawers, pulling out that old muggle photograph. This time he did not pay much attention to the red-haired girl, but he was absorbed, staring at his thin and tender face of an eleven-year-old boy, he was smiling, one of the few genuine smiles in his life.
"I want to be happy". - he whispered with teary eyes.
Taking his wand, he silently conjured his Patronus. The silver doe appeared and its body, made up of the happiest memories of his life, lit up the enclosure. It approached Severus, resting its precious head on his lap, he tried to touch it, but his hand went through, and the doe vanished. His office darkened, he remained motionless, looking at the place where his Patronus had been a second before and the enormous weight of loneliness that had accompanied him since his childhood fell hard on him. Wiping his face with the sleeve of his robe, he took the bottle of Amortentia and headed back to the cabinet when a crumpled parchment caught his eye. He read the note again:
I am waiting for you.
- L.
The love potion returned to its place on the third shelf, its lavender seal intact.
. . .
As he closed the door of the suite behind him, he realized that there was a lot of noise inside, the shrill voice of the house-elf was heard over the laughter of Laurel.
"It is an impudence! Enoby has served the honourable Malfoy family for decades and her parents before her, her grandparents and great-grandparents, and it has never been heard of a Soulless woman to take over a house-elf duty. Enoby doesn't need any help!"
Laurel was standing on top of a table, a rag in one hand and a bottle of Mrs Skower's Magical Mess Removerin the other. She was barefoot, with her black robe rolled up to her elbows and her long hair tied back in a ponytail. She was clearly trying to clean the monumental mahogany bookcase in the parlour, and Enoby didn't seem happy at all. She laughed amusedly as she watched the house-elf tantrum from above.
"Enoby, you are incredibly good at cleaning, I know. Can you allow a poor soulless one to learn from you? I promise you that I will do everything as you order".
"A soulless woman wants to take the place of an elf! Oh, if the elf great-grandmother Eldriner could hear this! And she wants poor Enoby to teach her! No, no, stop! That is not the way to polish the wood!"
Laurel giggled every time she moved the rag across the surface of the bookshelf, seeing Enoby slam her little feet on the floor, her huge eyes bulging out of their sockets.
"I didn't know you had a knack for teasing house-elves. You can leave, Enoby".
Severus's voice silenced the elf's shrieks, who bowed deeply to him and disappeared with a snap. Laurel turned her eyes to him, her smile widening even more.
"You came back early!" -She said as she got off the table and ran towards him. – "It's good to see you in the sunlight, Severus."
"You seem happy". – He said, a faint smile appearing on his face.
"Oh no… no, no. I am miserable. That is just a way to entertain myself, to wait for you". – She said as she removed the satchel from his shoulder, welcoming him. – "That´s… that´s what makes me happy… seeing you here".
The sudden blush on her face, made Severus heart skipped a beat. Maybe there was a chance to make more happy memories after all, maybe he would not have to be alone anymore, to hide his feelings as he always did.
"I think you are the first person that has ever told me that". – He ventured to say.
"Yeah, I´m weird like that… I´m a weird person… I don't mean… I am sorry. I don't even know what I am saying". – To Severus's delight, her voice sounded quite flustered.
She avoided looking at him by opening the satchel and focusing on organizing the ungraded assignments by school year. Severus had delegated the role of reviewing and grading the first and second year assignments to her. A fairly simple task, but one that served him to ease his workload and to keep her occupied in her confinement.
"What else makes you happy?"
"Hmm, being with mum, I guess. I used to spend Sundays with her, cooking together. I miss her homemade pizza, she always let me play with the dough. I was very happy when I was playing with Fern, I used to put make up on her and comb her hair as if she were my doll, although Miss Perfection can be a headache at times".
An idea was forming in Severus' mind, an absolutely reckless and insane idea. An idea so absurd that his calculating mind could have never conceived. But yet, there it was, born of the emotions and feelings he boasted of abhorring, that he considered a sign of weakness. He wanted to make her happy. If Laurel was happy, he would be too.
"Your mother is sick, right?"
"Yeah, she has an advanced case of arthritis, can´t move her hands so well. Pain has been a constant for years and the NHS waiting list for therapies is a joke really…"
"Arthritis? That´s kind of a joint disease, isn´t it?" – he said, walking over to the worktable and selecting some instruments from his lab.
"Yeah, yes, it is".
"I can cure your mother".
"What? Can you? How?"
"It´s a simple potion, it just takes a little long to brew, a few days; and your mother has to follow the treatment, five drops a day for a week. She will be better after the first dose. Pretty simple. Would that make you happy?"
"Yes! Yeah, absolutely… but what if she is like me?"
"We will figure that out when we are there".
"Where?"
"At your house. Hackleton, isn´t it?"
Laurel could not believe what she was hearing. She shook her head slightly, the excitement rising in her chest.
"Are you for real? Are you serious?"
"Yes, I am serious, Laurel. Just allow me some time to figure a way to get you out. We will pay a little visit to your family, but we will have to be back the very same day. Do you understand?"
"Absolutely, of course. Oh my God! Thank you!" - Laurel exclaimed, clutching her head, her smile flashing.
"There´s nothing to say thank you for. It is not done yet, and… well you better thank me when I manage to release you for real, not for… Damn it, I am sorry, I feel like I'm taking you for a walk as if you were a pet".
"No way! I appreciate it a lot, really, and I thank you now, Severus, because you care". – She said approaching him and kissing him on the cheek.
Laurel laughed when she noticed how Severus´ face flushed, his body becoming rigid again.
"I will be a good pet." – She said winking at him. – "Now, do you want to tell me if you found that vial in your pocket, or shall I be the one to give you a surprise this time?"
