Chapter 28
Birthday Wishes
"Won-Won!"— A cloying, shrill voice suddenly came from the other end of the Gryffindor table and before Ron had time to react, Lavender Brown had thrown herself into his arms.
"Lavender, please not now!" Ron muttered, flustered at the giggles and sardonic looks from his classmates.
Harry was laughing at him too but stopped short as his gaze met Hermione's angry face. The young witch looked at the couple with narrowed eyes and a bitter expression on her face. Looking to avoid trouble with his friends, Harry then decided to stare at the High Table, and it didn't take long for him to feel a stab of hatred as he saw Professor Snape with the woman Lupin said was his assistant. They both sat at one end of the table, whispering, an old book opened in front of them.
Harry was puzzled to note that a slight smile, which was neither smug nor mocking, appeared on the professor's face at seeing the woman staring up the enchanted ceiling. He had never seen Snape act like that. His anger grew even more at the thought that Dumbledore really cared so much for that despicable man, that he trusted him enough to provide him with an assistant to make his job easier.
Snape had no right to be happy. He didn't deserve it. In addition to their contempt for each other since the first day of school, Harry had concluded that Snape was partly to blame for the death of his godfather, Sirius Black. His sarcastic and vicious remarks about how comfortable Padfoot was, hiding in Grimmauld Place while the other Order members fought Voldemort made his godfather insist on rushing to the Ministry the night he died. And now he was there, conversing pleasantly as if the world hadn't collapsed the moment Sirius had fallen through the Veil.
He shifted his gaze to the Slytherin table and noticed that Malfoy was also staring at the woman. Draco knew something, of that, he was sure. But what? How much longer would it take him to unravel that mystery? Harry was looking forward to his next meeting with Dumbledore. He would tell him what he had heard the night of Slughorn's party, about the Unbreakable Vow Snape had taken to protect Draco, his insistence on helping him carry out his plan, and now, the suspicious appearance of an assistant who most likely knew the young Slytherin from before. His head was spinning, his thoughts swirling in a circle that seemed to have no end. He was so engrossed in his conjectures he didn't realize that almost all of his companions also noticed the presence of the stranger.
"She suddenly appeared the day after Christmas". — Parvati said, drawing the attention of the other Gryffindors. — "None of the teachers have officially introduced her, she just showed up at school, walking the hallways, always loaded with books and parchments. We thought that maybe she was a Ministry insider until we realized she works with Snape".
"Snape? Snape? Works with Snape?" — The whispers of the students quickly spread throughout the Great Hall and soon reached the High table, causing Severus to stop his conversation and glare at the students. A few fell silent upon seeing the murderous gleam in their teacher's eyes. Laurel lowered her gaze and kept it glued on the book in embarrassment, avoiding the curious glances from the students. She wasn't used to being the centre of attention, much less when she had to pretend to be something she really was not: a witch skilled enough to be a Hogwarts professor's assistant.
Then a warm hand rested on hers, patting her comfortingly.
"It's just the novelty of the moment". —The woman sitting next to her smiled, her blue eyes twinkling in the candlelight. — "They'll get used to seeing you here".
Laurel hadn't seen her before, assuming she must be one of the teachers who had been away from school for Christmas break.
"I had already expected it". — She answered her, the corners of her lips turning up in a slight smile. — "Just as them, all this is new for me too".
The woman brought over a pitcher of pumpkin juice and poured her a cup, still smiling.
"I'm Charity Burbage, the Muggle Studies professor. Believe me, no one is happier than me, Professor Dumbledore made the decision to hire a non-magical person at Hogwarts. It's a step towards a society where Muggles and wizards…"
"How do you know I'm a muggle?" — Laurel whispered, embarrassed. — "Is it so obvious?"
Professor Burbage stared at her in surprise.
"All the staff has been informed, Laurel. It is not an everyday thing to meet an Akardos". — Then she laughed. — "Besides, I have never seen a witch be so dazzled to see the ceiling of the Great Hall".
"Dumbledore has also ordered the staff to remain completely silent about her condition". — Severus whispered under his breath without taking his eyes off the students.
"Something totally unnecessary. It is precisely during these dark times that we must foster a union between wizards and Muggles. Actually, if you could come to one of my classes that would be wonderful. The understanding…"
"Charity, it is an order."— Severus glared down at her, his face serious and grim. — "It is dangerous to expose her in that way."
Professor Burbage looked down at her plate, clearing her throat in embarrassment. Laurel resisted the urge to reproach Severus for his attitude and his lack of tact but was not really surprised by the fact that he could change his demeanour so much from one moment to the next. He was a spy after all, and according to Lupin, a manipulative man.
Laurel shook those thoughts off her mind and then decided to lean towards her, reaching out her arm to serve her some lamb chops from a near platter, returning the comforting smile that the witch had given her earlier.
"I totally agree with you, Charity, but maybe the students or their parents wouldn't like to know there's a Muggle at Hogwarts".
"Yes, of course". — She nodded with a nervous laugh. — "How silly of me to propose such an idea."
"But it's a great idea! It's just not possible now". — Laurel replied, trying to cheer her up. —"What sounds silly is that the assistant of the Defence against the Dark Arts professor is a Muggle. You can imagine how useless I am".
"Not at all". — Charity glanced surreptitiously at Snape, who had turned his attention back to the Slytherin table. — "I can see you've been a good aid for him, I've never seen Snape look so well rested in years. Remember, magic is not everything. Understanding, care for one another, compassion; that is what makes us human, that it is what makes us people".
Laurel was amazed at her speech, appreciating how empathetic and kind Charity Burbage was, and soon they were engaged in an animated chat about the Muggle world. Laurel did her best to explain to Charity how a new technology, that she hadn't even used before worked: the Internet.
Their voices trailed off as Albus Dumbledore rose to his feet and addressed the students, his gaze taking in the entire Great Hall, his smile beaming:
"Now that your bellies are full after the banquet, and your heads clean and empty after the Christmas holidays, I want to welcome you all to the second term at Hogwarts".
"As you may have noticed, a guest has joined us during the holidays. Let me introduce Miss Noel." — Dumbledore waved his hand at her, and Laurel stood up for just a second, sitting down instantly, the blush on her cheeks contrasting with the olive-green robes Professor McGonagall had provided for her. Some students clapped politely. — "Miss Noel will be working on an academic project, under the supervision of the Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor and will not be holding a teaching position. And now everyone, the bed awaits you! Cheerio!"
The hiss of robes, the giggles, their whispers, and the quick footsteps of the hundreds of Hogwarts students rising in unison from the tables and heading for the exit made Laurel heave a sigh of relief. The prospect of heading to their warm beds after such a long journey had numbed the minds of the youngsters and just as Charity had said, the novelty of a new face on the staff table seemed to be forgotten in a matter of seconds.
"I must go to the Slytherin common room for a moment". — Severus said as they also stood up and walked towards the entrance hall. — "I have to talk to the students. See you later in my office?"
"It'll take me a while, but I'll be there".
"Are you going to the library?"
"No". — She replied, looking away.
"Where…?"
"I already said I'll be there in a while". — She cut him off. — "See you later".
"You are angry. It's because of Burbage". — It was a statement, not a question.
Laurel stopped and looked around, they were alone in a corner of the hall, and no one could hear them.
"Now, since you mention it, you were very rude to her."
"Some people don't understand reasons any other way. Unfortunately for Charity, what she lacks in intelligence, she makes up for in naivety".
"Are you calling her a fool for trying to improve relations between the Wizarding and Muggle worlds?"
"No, I call her a fool for insisting on teaching that class at Hogwarts. — Severus paused, getting closer to her, lowering his voice to a barely heard whisper:
"Do you know how many times I've told her? How many times have I warned her that her lectures are a direct affront to the Dark Lord? That it is almost a death sentence? I've insisted she leaves the country, but that daft cow ignores me, she doesn't realize she is a target for the Death Eaters, even Dumbledore has offered her refuge with other members of the Order. She thinks she is so brave, sacrificing her safety for her ideals. Gryffindor, she had to be…"
Laurel swallowed hard, trying to quell the mix of emotions in her chest. The first, remorse at allowing what Lupin had told her to influence her into judging Severus so quickly. Guilt was followed by tenderness, Severus seemed to dedicate his life to protecting everyone around him, in a cruel and offensive way, but that was his character and Laurel was able to understand it, used as she was to his sharp words. The love in her heart growing stronger for him.
Laurel took his hand furtively, meeting his eyes with a shy smile. Severus hadn't expected that sudden reaction from the woman.
"You're right. You are always right, Sev." —And without waiting for an answer, she walked away saying:
"I'll see you in your office".
. . .
His tea was cold, and a skin had formed on the top. He sighed and took a sip nonetheless, the disgusting feel of it adhering to his lips made him grimace. His eyes darted around his office, the light from the fireplace lighting up the room. On his desk, the Lupinaria, as Laurel had decided to call that silver potion, overflowed from a cauldron, glinting an iridescent sheen. The parchments with his notes and reports completely covered his table, in a mess of dates and experiment results. Very soon he would have to start testing the potion on Lupin and he couldn't allow herself a margin of error. At least not one so big that he could kill him or put it into a coma like Greyback.
Severus leaned back in his chair and turned his gaze to the coffee table in front of the fireplace. There, duly arranged by course, were the homework, already graded, that he had to hand in tomorrow morning during his first classes. Next to them, the study plan for the second term catalogued by topics and dates. As well as a report of the Slytherin students who had failed their exams and needed remedial classes so as not to fail subjects. He really could not thank her enough, he wouldn't know how he could have managed to keep on with his teaching job, his spy duty, his death eater meetings and now his research duty without Laurel.
Where is she? A prickle of fear touched the back of his neck and he shivered. She was upset with him; she was punishing him for being such an arse. She was spending too much time with Lupin, and he was filling up her head with poison against him. Was he lying to her, though? Wasn't he the greasy git that disdained everyone? Laurel was opening her eyes to the world for the first time, and she was realizing that he was nothing but a bitter, gloomy, old man.
He let out a hollow laugh. Fern was right.
He shrugged off that feeling by reminding himself that Laurel was free now, that she stayed willingly by his side, and that it was her right if she did not want to spend that night with him. But still, that icy hand still seemed to be gripping his heart at the thought of Laurel leaving him. He didn't know when he started to feel so dependent on a person.
He got up and paced silently around his office, pausing for a moment to read Laurel's handwriting on the reports, forcing himself not to go looking for her right now. He stared at the fire for a while, playing around with his occlumency, deciding it would be better if he stop feeling such an uneasiness for a while. But before he could plunge into the darkness, there was a knock, and the door opened.
"Happy birthday, Sev".
The image took him aback, Laurel was standing in front of him, holding a cake, the rich dark frosting decorated with fresh strawberries and the light of a single candle, dancing on top, illuminating her smiling face.
"What? How…?" — Severus
"How?" — Laurel repeated laughing. — "On the ninth of January, thirty-seven years ago, a little baby was born in Cokeworth, his mother was Eileen and his father Tobias. And it was him, the little bird that told me.
Severus seemed to react, smiling he approached her and muttered:
"Thank you, pet." — He blushed. — "I had forgotten. I don't remember the last time I celebrated my birthday".
"Then go ahead, love. Blow out the candle and make a wish".
"No".
"No?" — Laurel tilted her head, not understanding.
"No. You will do it for me".
"But it's your birthday..."
Severus put his hands over hers, helping her hold the cake, his soft gaze on the woman.
"My wish is for you to be happy, pet. So, ask for whatever makes you happy."
Laurel looked at him with glittering eyes for a moment, then gave a small nod, concentrating on her wish. She squeezed her eyes shut and blew out the candle with a sigh.
"There. Now you can officially call yourself an old man".
"Joke's on you, you are the one who wants to stay with an old fart. Where did you get that cake from anyway? Do you steal from the kitchens now?
Laurel just laughed, placing the cake on the coffee table and pulling out two full bottles of Elf-made wine from her bag and handed one to Severus.
"Bottom's up!" — She said, clinking the bottles and taking a big swig of wine directly from the bottle.
Severus was quick to keep up with her.
. . .
"You seriously made the cake yourself? Don't be a liar, the elves helped you".
"I swear. Why should I lie? That's why I was late".
They were both sitting on a long couch that Severus conjured in front of the fire. The bottles floated around them; their contents constantly being replenished thanks to the wizard's enchantment. Laurel had lost count of how much she had drunk, but she couldn't have been more comfortable in the company of Severus who now seemed to be more cheerful than ever.
The wizard slumped down, resting his head on Laurel's lap, staring at what was left of the cake, fighting the urge to eat another piece.
"Chocolate cake. It's my favourite, did you know that?"
"I know, Sev".
He turned his eyes to her, and then he understood:
"It was also my father's favourite".
"Like father Like Son".
"I hate my father".
"I know, Sev". — She answered, stroking his hair with her fingers, massaging his head.
"But you loved him".
"I love him. I fed him daily, bathed him, kept him company. He was a sad old man".
Severus gazed after the wine bottles, magically sliding through the air, making a faint tinkling noise.
"You feel comfortable being around wicked men".
"Or maybe wicked men feel comfortable around me". — She whispered, as her fingers traced his face, triggering a tingling sensation down his spine, relaxing his body. — "It was very hard for him to control it, the mental issues; it made him unstable, aggressive. He told me all, he was his truest with me, he didn't hide. He could not hide; the guilt was eating him alive".
Severus felt a thickness in his throat that was hard to swallow. His own father, a mean and violent man had found refuge in the same woman who was now playing with his hair, talking softly at him, the same woman that had the patience of a saint.
"What did you wish for?" — He asked as he sat up again, his voice brittle, his eyes fixed on her.
"I wished you to trust me completely".
The cold sensation in his heart returned. Fear, guilt, self-loathing. He licked his lips and washed those feelings down with a gulp of the bottle.
Her trust for him was boundless, he knew that, but how long would that last when she found out about his secrets? His role in revealing the prophecy to Voldemort that put the Potters in mortal danger, the unbreakable vow to be the one to kill Dumbledore, his inevitable fall from grace in the eyes of the other members of the Order, in the eyes of his colleagues, in the eyes of people close to him.
He should be the one to tell her, but he couldn't. He could not bear to see the bitter disappointment in her eyes.
He was living a dream and he did not want to wake up. He leaned forward and kissed her.
. . .
A knock on the door woke him up.
"Excuse me, Professor. Are you there?"
Severus looked around his office, the fire long extinguished, Laurel was sleeping on the couch next to him, the empty bottles on the floor, the remains of the cake still resting on the coffee table together with the assignments and his classes plan.
Damn.
He was late, he had gotten drunk last night and now he was late for his class.
Another knock made him jump out of the couch, and he went to the door, opening it just a little to see who was there.
"Miss Granger". — He said, the tart taste of wine still in his mouth.
"Professor". — She said with trembling voice, obviously afraid to be in the presence of a dishevelled, short-tempered Snape. — "The students of first period are waiting in the classroom, there was no notice of your absence. So, I thought, me as the Gryffindor prefect, was obliged to…"
"To show off that relucent prefect badge on me?" — He cut her off, the crease in his brow deepened. — "I know I am behind time, Miss Granger, I don't need you to tell me. Also, shouldn't you be in potions class right now? Have you skipped a class solely to demonstrate your insufferable need to feel important?"
"No, I don't…" — Hermione felt her face redden, why oh why she had decided to come down here after the little first year Gryffindor had told her the students were unsupervised, playing around in Snape's classroom. She could sense it. Snape was about to slash a good amount of points for her insolence. — "I did not mean to skip class but the first year's…"
"That is enough, Miss Granger". — Severus turned his face to his office, his eyes going to Laurel that had woken up at the sound of his voice. She stood up in silence, winking at him and started clearing the mess in his office.
He looked back at Hermione, she was blinking rapidly, her face rigid, waiting for his usual line: "Twenty points from Gryffindor!" She hoped it wasn't more, she hoped she didn't get detention too, but with Snape, you had to always be prepared for the worst.
"Tell the students to start reading from chapter eleven onward." —Snape said. — "Let them know that I will be with them soon and that I better find them sitting quietly".
Hermione was petrified.
"Did you hear me, Granger?"
"Yeah, yes". — She stammered gobsmacked. — "And are you not going to deduct points from me?"
"Do you want me to deduct them?"
Hermione shook her head quickly.
"Then do as told, and go back to your class immediately, if you don't want to get detention."
"Yes sir".
Snape closed the door in her face and Hermione hurried back to the upper floors. She felt as if she had witnessed a miracle, she had to tell her friends.
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