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Chapter 9
1920- Downton Abbey
"Oh my god," Anna murmured, as she felt the rush of water fall between her legs. She was supposed to have a little bit more time to prepare. It wasn't supposed to happen now. Her hands clutched by her sides and she, for a moment, felt out of sorts. She couldn't remember what the plan was for when she had the baby. But she knew it wasn't for her water to break in Lady Mary's bedroom.
"Ah, your waters have broken," Mary simply stated, looking at the water below her.
"I…."
"You'll have the baby in here," Mary told her, standing.
"I should clean this up…I…."
"None of that," Mary demanded. "You are in labor, Anna. Let's get you into one of my nightgowns."
"But m'lady, I mustn't…." Anna was trying to gather her thoughts, but everything was quite the blur. She felt a low ache starting from her back and coming around to her front.
"Here." Mary was down to the floor starting to unbuckle one of Anna's shoes. She glanced up at Anna and gave her a supportive smile. "It's going to be alright. This can take hours. We'll get you comfortable in my bed and then I'll ring for them to call for Dr. Clarkson."
Anna felt comforted by Mary's words, but even so, she started to cry. The hot tears slid hastily down her cheeks and she felt so overwhelmed by it all. Moments later, Mary was at her side, full of concern.
"Anna?"
"I wish…I wish John was here," Anna sobbed. Mary's hand came to Anna's cheek and their eyes met. Her lips pursed together and she stroked the curve of Anna's jaw.
"I know you do, Anna. I know you do. He would be so proud of you. You've been so strong. You have to remain strong, Anna. You're going to have his baby, his son, right?" Anna feebly nodded. "Now, let's get you out of this dress and into a more comfortable gown."
Mary slipped the second shoe off Anna's foot. Anna watched as Mary placed both her shoes at the foot of the bed, before coming up to Anna's back to unbutton the buttons. Her fingers were quick and soon, Mary was lifting the dress up over her shoulders and then sliding it down to the floor for Anna to step out of it. A chill fell over Anna, as her bare arms met the air, so she crossed her arms over her chest. The slip she wore was thin and gave little protection against the cold.
It was in this moment that Anna realized this was the most bare she had been in front of Mary. Sure she had seen Mary nude many times, as it was her job to dress her and help her when she was bathing. But she was always dressed around her. Even when the two of them had shared a room on the ship, Anna had changed in privacy. Yet, she wasn't nervous or anxious about Mary seeing her this way. She had been there when Anna was most vulnerable, after the loss of John. Mary had already seen all of her.
Once Anna was dressed in one of Mary's gowns, Mary insisted on helping her into the bed. The pains weren't too bad at the moment and Anna could get around just fine on her own, but she allowed Mary to take charge. In many ways, it helped Anna to calm her nerves of what was to come. While she was so excited to meet John's son, she was still scared about doing this on her own without John. She wanted him here with her. Every day she missed him, but she found that right in this moment she missed him so terribly that her entire body ached.
"Alright, you relax here. I'm going to have Carson ring for Dr. Clarkson and let Mrs. Hughes know that you are in labor. Would you like her in here with you?"
"Yes, please," Anna quietly said, a more painful wave hitting her. Her eyes screwed shut and she tried to breathe through it. Mary's hand slipped into hers and she gave it a gentle squeeze.
"That's right, just breathe," Mary encouraged. "Oh Anna, this child is going to be so lucky to have you as its mother. I'll be right back."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
After having Dr. Clarkson rung and telling Mrs. Hughes that Anna was in labor, Mary searched for Matthew. She found him sitting alone in the library with a book in his hands. Her lips curled up and she just stood there for a moment watching him. The love she had for him was more intense then she could have ever imagined she could love someone. She could not imagine life without him in it. Just thinking of that, made her thoughts go to Anna upstairs. Her lips fell slightly. She knew she would never survive if she lost Matthew. And now Anna was all alone, having Bates' baby without him. A tear slid down her cheek.
"Darling?" Matthew's worried voice made Mary look up and she forced a smile upon her lips. But Matthew knew her well. He dropped the book by his side and then was up next to Mary, wiping the lone tear away from her skin. "What's wrong?"
"I was only thinking how I wouldn't survive without you," She murmured, meeting Matthew's eyes with much intensity. Matthew's face softened and he bent forward to press a kiss.
"Well, I'm not going anywhere," he promised. His nose brushed over hers gently and it made her smile. She pressed her forehead against his and then pulled back slightly, searching his eyes once more.
"I'm holding you to that promise," she said. He chuckled lightly.
"Why don't you come and sit with me," Matthew suggested. He pulled her hand toward him, but it was then that she remembered why she had come to find him.
"I can't," Mary informed him. "Anna is in labor."
"Oh!"
"Yes, and I have put her in our room for the delivery," Mary told him, not giving him any room to argue against it. "I couldn't send her upstairs to have the baby. I felt she deserved a more comfortable place."
"Yes," Matthew just agreed, closing his hand over hers. "You need to be careful," he added with a wink. At that, Mary cocked her eyebrow, curious to what he was referencing. "People will see my Mary if you keep being so blatantly kind to others."
"Don't worry," Mary replied, smiling. She kissed him once more. "I'm going to go upstairs to help Anna. Send someone if you need me."
"I will."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"In Lady Mary's bedroom!" Mr. Carson was flummoxed.
"She can't very well decide when it happens, Mr. Carson," Mrs. Hughes said to him, as she pulled blankets and towels from the linen closet.
"Well, it shouldn't happen in Lady Mary's room. That isn't right, Mrs. Hughes. You must insist she go upstairs."
Mrs. Hughes spun on her heels to glare at Carson. Her lips fell into a thin, unhappy line.
"Lady Mary is the one who insisted that Anna remain in her bedroom, Mr. Carson. How do you suggest I go against her wishes and make a laboring woman go up the stairs just to make you comfortable?"
Flabbergasted, Carson opened and shut his mouth a few times. Then he just stepped back and moved his hand to tell Mrs. Hughes to go ahead. She gave him a curt nod, before rushing up the stairs to get to the Caroline room.
When she reached Lady Mary's room, she found Anna standing at the edge of the bed with her hands clutched on the foot of the bed and Lady Mary rubbing the small of Anna's back. Mrs. Hughes watched in amazement, not expecting to see Lady Mary up here, or even helping Anna through her pains.
"Great, you're here," Mary stated, glancing up at Mrs. Hughes. She stepped away from Anna and took the towels from Mrs. Hughes' arms. "Have you heard when Dr. Clarkson will arrive?"
"Shortly, m'lady," Mrs. Hughes answered. "How are you feeling Anna?" She glanced behind Mary to see Anna pacing beside the bed. She paused and gave Mrs. Hughes a pained smile.
"Alright," Anna replied.
"Your child will soon be here," Mrs. Hughes assured her. "You're going to be a mother."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
The labor had been painful. But Anna had been prepared for that. She had been there when her mother had her baby brother. She could remember being only ten years old and holding her mother's hand during the labor and delivery. However, what she hadn't been prepared for was the feeling when her son was placed within her arms. Tears immediately filled her eyes and she couldn't explain the love that blossomed within her chest. It was a very different type of love than she had felt for John. Not that it was greater, just different. It was all consuming. This little boy was hers to protect, to keep safe. He was her gift from John.
"Wonderful delivery," Dr. Clarkson proclaimed. "You will need your rest. I will be back in a while to check on you." He quietly left the room, leaving Mrs. Hughes and Lady Mary with her. They were both on opposite sides of her, looking down at the sleeping babe within her arms.
"He's absolutely beautiful," Mary whispered.
"Yes," Mrs. Hughes strongly agreed. "Strong boy you have there. Does he have a name?"
"John William Bates the second," Anna replied, "But we'll call him Johnny."
"Perfect."
She ran her finger down the curve of Johnny's jaw.
"I want to clear his father's name," Anna then said. "We know John was innocent, but the world does not. For Johnny, I need to do this."
"Anna that is quite the feat. Where would you even begin?" Mrs. Hughes asked her. Anna only shook her head and kissed the top of her son's head.
"I'll start at the beginning and I won't stop until the world knows my husband was wrongly accused and wrongly executed."
Fall 1970
Anna smiled up at her son, as he poured her a cup of tea. He was much taller than she was, he had inherited that from his father. Most of his looks, however, he got from her. When he was smaller, she had been disappointed that he had her fair hair and light eyes. She had been hoping that he would look like his father. However, over time, she grew to appreciate that John's gift to her looked like her. Because he was his father, through and through. Johnny had his father's demeanor and his father's expressions. Many times when Johnny would make certain faces all Anna could see was John.
"You're going to be a grandfather," Anna proudly stated. "I can't believe it."
Johnny retook his seat next to Anna and chuckled, lifting his cup to his lips.
"Me either, Mum."
"Do you think Jack is ready?" Anna questioned.
"I do," Johnny said with a nod. "He and Linda have been married for a little while now. I think they want to have five children."
"Five?!" Anna was shocked. Then she smiled. "Well, if anyone could do it, our Jack could."
"Yes," Johnny agreed, his lips curling slightly to the side. Anna frowned. She knew her son very well. There was something making him unhappy.
"Are you not happy about becoming a grandfather?"
"Unhappy? I'm thrilled, Mum."
"Then what's the matter?" Anna pressed. She hoped her son knew that he could tell her anything. Over the years, she had always tried to make sure he knew that. She wanted the two of them to be close and for him to know he could trust her.
"I…" He paused, questioning on what he should say. "It's just that I've missed you."
"Missed me? Johnny, I haven't gone anywhere," she chuckled. But Johnny's eyes were misty, making her lips fall from their smile. "Johnny, what do you mean by that?"
"I don't know," Johnny mumbled. He met Anna's eyes and smiled. "You know how grateful I am for you, don't you? You have given me an amazing life. And you worked hard to clear father's name."
"I did," Anna said, glancing down at her tea. "I only wish I had gotten that proof from Vera's friend before your father was killed."
"I know," Johnny agreed. He brought his hand on top of Anna's. "But you still did it. I know he would be so proud of you. Of the legacy of his you continued." That made Anna smile and look up.
"He would be. I love him very much."
"I know you do," Johnny whispered. "And I know he loved you so much, Mum. Aunt Mary has told me how much he loved you. He would be pleased at how your life turned out." His eyes grew misty again and Anna furrowed her brows.
"Johnny, what is wrong? Please tell me."
He only shook his head and refilled his tea. His head turned to look out the window and he quickly changed the subject.
"The leaves are starting to fall," he commented. "Aunt Mary always likes it when it's like this. Have you two been taking walks around the estate?"
Anna's head shook. "Not too many. You know her and those dizzy spells. Has she gone to the doctor like she promised me she would?"
Johnny turned his head back to her, his brows furrowing.
"What dizzy spells? What do you mean doctor?"
To be continued...
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