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Chapter 10
1920s- Downton Abbey
Anna brushed her long locks, before twisting them into a bun. As she placed the pins within her hair, a fuss drew her away from the mirror. She turned to find Johnny turned to his belly, reaching out for a wooden block he liked to chew on. Anna smiled and lifted the boy into her arms. He grinned right at her and touched her nose.
Johnny was growing so quickly. At already six months old, he was starting to get around and into things. The room they shared was feeling smaller and Anna knew that eventually she would need to move him down into the nursery, but she wasn't quite ready for that, yet. She cherished every moment with Johnny.
For the past several months, she had unlimited time with her son. Upon Mary's request, Anna was given a long leave to recover from birth and to have time with Johnny. There were nights where she was requested to help Mary for certain events, but mainly she had the days to do as she pleased. It had been strange to Anna. She never in her life had she had time like this. Of course, taking care of Johnny was a full time job. It wasn't as though she was completely free. However, she could take him on walks during the day, rock him for hours in the room, and just soak in the days.
But now she needed to get back into the routine at work. Over the past couple of weeks, she had slowly been integrating back into a full day's work. Johnny went into the nursery with Sybbie Branson, who had only been born a couple of months after he was.
The change wasn't easy. Balancing Johnny and being a lady's maid proved to be a challenge. Not because Lady Mary requested too much from her. In fact, she was very understanding and told her to please tell her if there was too much on her plate. The difficultness came from the looks she received from others. She didn't quite fit in and she was struggling to figure out where she belonged. Anna hoped that overtime she would.
Today she had some time and she decided she would bring Johnny to breakfast with her. Mrs. Hughes insisted that it was alright, even though Mr. Carson would often look unhappy when she showed up with the baby in her arms. There would also be comments by Thomas, about how Johnny was lucky that he inherited Anna's looks.
She shifted Johnny on her hip and smiled down at him. The best way to grow more comfortable with everything was to force herself to do things that didn't make her comfortable. She would do this for Johnny and for herself. They had many years here in this house.
As the two of them made the journey downstairs, Johnny cooed and Anna spoke with him. She couldn't wait for the two of them to have conversations with one another. But she knew that time would come soon enough and that she should just enjoy the short time she had with him as a baby.
Reaching the downstairs, she kissed the top of his downy hair. As she turned the corner, she immediately met eyes with Mr. Carson. His eyes widened and then he let out a shaky breath of disapproval, before turning into the servant's hall. Anna straightened her back and reminded herself that she and Johnny did belong here. Overtime, Mr. Carson would grow used to it.
Walking further down the hallway, she felt more eyes on her. She paused her steps and turned her gaze to where she felt them. It was Mrs. O'Brien. She was standing in the corner, eyeing her and Johnny. It was always so uncomfortable being around Mrs. O'Brien nowadays, not that she was ever really comfortable to be around before John's death. But this was different. She avoided Anna and had only spoken to her since her return from America when absolutely necessary.
Anna quickly looked away and proceeded. However, she was stopped when Mrs. O'Brien was standing right in front of her. Anna glanced up and for the first time in a long while, she met Mrs. O'Brien's eyes. Mrs. O'Brien gave her a tentative smile. Her hand came up to touch Johnny's hand.
"He is a sweet child," Mrs. O'Brien said, her smile growing. "I can see he brings you joy."
"He does," Anna agreed, still not sure about Mrs. O'Brien touching her son. But then Mrs. O'Brien's lips fell from their smile and she stared at Anna with such an intensity that Anna swallowed hard.
"It was an awful thing that happened to Mr. Bates," Mrs. O'Brien started. "And I am sorry for anything I had to do with any of it."
Anna stared back at Mrs. O'Brien for a good minute, her breath catching within her throat.
"I forgive you, Mrs. O'Brien," Anna said a moment later, her free hand reaching out to touch Mrs. O'Brien's wrist. "I know this isn't what you wanted and that you were manipulated by the solicitors. Mr. Bates held no ill will against you and he also asked me to forgive you. And I do. It wasn't your fault."
Unmistakable tears filled Mrs. O'Brien's eyes and she quickly blinked them away.
"Alright," she just gruffly replied, taking in a deep breath. Then she heard a sound behind her and took the opportunity, "I must get things ready for her ladyship."
"Right," Anna said. She watched as Mrs. O'Brien walked away and she held Johnny closer. In a way it felt good to vocally forgive her. While she had, to herself, there was something freeing about saying it out loud. John had been right. It needed to be done.
Johnny made a loud squeal and she turned to face him. Her smile growing.
"Ah, is that Johnny?" Mrs. Hughes gushed. She walked right over and lifted Johnny from Anna's arms. In all the years Anna had known Mrs. Hughes, she had never seen the woman gush over a child like she did Johnny. And Johnny lit up just as brightly. She knew Mrs. Hughes loved her son and she was grateful for that.
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"Mary," Cora called out, making Mary stop on the top step and turn around to face her mother, who was coming up behind her.
"Yes, Mama?"
"Could we speak for a moment?"
"What about? I have to change," she told her mother. "And I need to ring for Anna."
"Yes, we need to speak before Anna comes upstairs."
At that, Mary narrowed her eyes. She didn't say another word, but she nodded and then continued her final step up the stairs. They walked over to a corner and Mary crossed her arms over her chest, already defensive. She already knew her mother's thoughts on Anna's place here at the Abbey. She had grown quiet about it before Johnny's birth, but once the baby arrived her mother grew more vocal again.
"What is it, Mama?"
"I went to visit Sybbie in the nursery and I saw that Johnny was in there, as well."
"Yes? And? I told you that Johnny would be in the nursery while Anna was working. Where else did you expect he should go?" Mary's brows raised. Cora only tightened her lips.
"Mary, I must again insist that you offer Anna a wonderful reference, help her find a new position somewhere else. It isn't proper to have a member of our staff with a child, much less a lady's maid."
"No," Mary simply stated, dropping her arms to her side. "Anna remains my lady's maid. We will provide her and Bates' son with a wonderful life. It is the least we can do for all Bates did for Papa and all Anna has done for us."
"A nice reference and a new position will be kind, Mary. She'll be more comfortable…."
"I won't hear any more of this, Mama."
"You must," Cora insisted.
"What's all this?" Matthew stepped up behind Mary, obvious to the tension between the two women.
"Mama is only suggesting we send Anna and Johnny away, again," Mary sighed.
"Cora," Matthew began. "Mary and I have already decided that we want them to stay. I'm afraid nothing you say will change that. Come on darling."
Mary was grateful as Matthew pulled her away from her mother. Her heart was already pounding in her chest and she could feel the anger growing within her. It was best she walk away.
Continuing down the hallway, Mary tugged Matthew's hand and into the nursery. They stepped inside to find nanny sitting in a chair, as Johnny slept. Sybbie wasn't in the room, so Mary walked right over to look down on the sleeping child.
"He is a beautiful child, isn't he?" Mary asked Matthew. Matthew's hand rested on her shoulder and he inched closer to her, pressing his chin against her other shoulder.
"Very beautiful. We will provide him with the best life we can," Matthew assured her.
"Yes, we will," she agreed. Then she turned to face Matthew. Her eyes moved to Nanny, who was engrossed in a book and then back to Matthew. "I worry that we'll never have a child. We've been trying for quite some time now."
Matthew's hand rested on her upper arm and he gave it a loving squeeze.
"We will have a child," he promised her. "Several children." At that, Mary chuckled.
"Several? How many, exactly, are you wanting Mr. Crawley?" Matthew smiled.
"I'm not quite sure, not yet," he told her. "But what could be more wonderful than having children with you? Children we can spoil and love." Mary's lips curled up.
"Yes, that does sound quite wonderful. But we still have to accept that we may never have children," Mary said, the smile leaving her lips.
"We will," he promised again. "We will have our heir. I know it to be true."
1970- Fall
Matthew had been right; they did have their heir. George was the perfect heir. He inherited all of the good traits from Matthew, but also the traits needed from Mary, like stubbornness which were needed to keep Downton Abbey running even in today's times. There had been many changes to the property over the years, but George had done a great job keeping the history alive.
George brought his arm through his mother's and the two of them walked outside the doctor's office. Anna's confession to Johnny about her dizzy spells had George to her door the next morning. Despite Mary's insisting that she was fine, George dragged her right to her doctor. It was why she hadn't said anything to the children. She knew they would make her go and see the doctor and that he would tell her what she already knew: that she was dying. Mary knew that for quite some time now. She wasn't young anymore. Her body was giving out. But she didn't want the children and grandchildren fretting over her and she definitely didn't want to worry Anna. She had no intentions of dying any time soon.
"The doctor doesn't know what he's talking about. I am not dying," Mary said, pulling her arm away from her son's. She didn't need his assistance walking to the car.
"But he said…" George tried, slightly frustrated by his mother's insistence.
"The doctor also said your father would never walk again or have children. Obviously he was wrong. I am not dying, not yet, don't be prepared to bury me in the ground, just yet. I will take the pills to help with the dizziness, but just know, I am not going anywhere anytime soon."
"Yes," George replied, perceptive to his mother's personality, "You're stubborn enough that I'd believe you'd outlive us all just to prove a point." That made Mary roll her eyes.
"I'm not stubborn," she stubbornly stated, as George opened the door for her. Mary sat down in the car and looked up to her son. "And I am not going anywhere. You have a while left with me yet."
"Good," George winked. "However, if you do leave us early, I promise we'll care for Anna. I promise she won't be sent away from the Abbey and that we'll all be there for her. She won't ever be alone. She has all of us."
Mary could feel the tears welling up in her eyes. It was her biggest fear: leaving Anna without her. Before Anna's sickness, she would have been strong enough to survive if Mary left her early, but now she doubted she could. Anna hardly knew who anyone was. Mary was not afraid of death. But she was afraid of Anna feeling alone and lost in this world.
To be continued...
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