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Warning (though I am sure you have seen it coming): Character death

Chapter 12

1920s- Downton Abbey

As time moved forward and Lady Mary grew with child, Anna could feel her isolation growing and growing. Lady Mary and Mr. Matthew were bright and happy, thrilled to be having their first child soon. Anna had to admit that this was hard to watch. So when the trip to Duneagle was announced, Anna decided it would be best for her and Johnny to stay behind.

Having Johnny allowed Anna to step out of trips where she would generally be asked to attend. Mary was always very understanding and never pushed. Anna knew that she was fortunate as a lady's maid for her flexible schedule. It was generally her job to work long hours and be at her lady's hand and foot.

Anna sat on the floor of the nursery as she and Johnny played with the blocks on the floor. He enjoyed stacking them up and knocking them over. It was something he could play for hours.

The house was very quiet. A lot of the staff and all of the upstairs were off to Duneagle. But it didn't make Anna feel any lonelier, because it was always how she felt now. She fit in nowhere. If there was a way to move away, she might do it. However, she probably wouldn't. Because even though she was lonely, she wasn't sure she could leave Lady Mary.

She knew that was a strange way to think. But the two of them had been close on their excursion to America. She hadn't imagined it, had she? And perhaps, with the birth of the baby, they would grow close again. They had almost been like real friends then. Mary still treated her well, but it wasn't the same as it had been then.

Nanny walked into the nursery and huffed. Anna bristled. She knew that Nanny felt it was below her to watch only Anna's child and that she was very vocal about it. If Sybbie was in the nursery, she gave Anna no issues about Johnny. However, Sybil and Tom had moved out of the Abbey recently and now lived at a house on the property. There were days Sybbie might spend some time in the nursery if they had things to do, or some evenings if they came for dinner, but Sybbie was raised in a regular household. Sybil and Tom saw to that.

"With Lady Mary away, I can care for Johnny all day. I have very few tasks and he can go with me," Anna reminded Nanny. "I know you don't like him in here."

Nanny took her seat by the door and she frowned. "I don't."

Anna's chest tightened. Even though she had known it to be true, it was harder to hear it.

"My skills are not supposed to be used on a maid's child or a half-breed, at that. Thankfully, Lady Mary will have a pure child soon."

Anna's brows furrowed. "Half-breed?" It took her a moment, but then she realized the nanny was speaking about Sybbie. Her stomach lurched. This lady hated both of the children that stayed in this room. She had thought that perhaps the children were at least treated with love, but now she couldn't stand the thought of Johnny in here. And she knew Sybil and Tom would not be alright with it either.

Instead of saying anything, Anna stood and lifted Johnny with her.

"He'll be sleeping in my room again," she just said, as they left the room. Tears began to stream down her cheeks. She had been letting Johnny sleep in the nursery. She was so upset. Holding him tighter to her chest, she felt like such a failure to her son. How had she allowed this for so long?

"Anna?" Anna turned to see Sybil standing at the top of the stairs with Sybbie in her arms. The little girl had a bright smile. "Oh, Anna!" She gasped, seeing the streaks of tears down Anna's cheeks. "What's happened?"

"Don't…I…" She stammered. She wasn't sure what to say to Sybil, but she knew that she must know too. "It's Nanny West."

Sybil's lips curled downwards.

"Come on," Sybil said, "Let's go to my old room and talk."

As Sybil requested, they did go to her room. Once Anna had been able to settle down, she put Johnny on the floor to play with Sybbie and told Sybil everything that had happened.

"I'll handle this," she promised.

Anna decided it was best to take Johnny upstairs to her room, but before she could make it to the final step, she was called back down by one of the footmen to Mrs. Hughes' parlor. With trepidation, Anna headed one by one down the stairs. While realistically, Anna knew Mrs. Hughes loved Johnny and had no issues with her at the house, she still worried about her place in the home. What if this had been the final straw? What if she had finally caused too much trouble and Lady Mary had heard about this and was going to ask her to leave?

"You're being ridiculous," Anna murmured to herself. Mary had promised to take care of them both.

Even so, her mind kept worrying until she reached the parlor. That was when she was met by Mrs. Hughes and Sybil. The both gave her warm smiles and asked her to sit.

"Nanny West has left," Sybil began. "Thank you, Anna, for bringing this to light. Since Mary is away, we will take our time searching for a better nanny. I will call my sister and tell her what's happened. She will agree with my decision to fire Nanny without a reference."

Anna weakly nodded, still overwhelmed.

"Here," Mrs. Hughes offered, taking Johnny from her hands. The little boy was active, though, and so she sat him down to walk around the parlor. "We will find a nanny who will love both Miss Sybbie and Johnny."

"Yes," Sybil agreed. "We will."

1920s- Duneagle

Mary wasn't feeling well, but she also didn't want to worry anyone nor mess up the trip they were all having. She sat herself up in the bed and took in a deep breath. She definitely did not want the baby born here. The plan was for the baby to be born at the hospital at Downton Abbey. After the near loss of Sybil, they had decided it was not worth the risk to have the baby at home.

Matthew walked into the room from the bathroom. He immediately noticed the discomfort on his wife's face and went to her, sitting down beside her frame.

"What's the matter, darling?"

Mary pressed a smile on her face and shook her head.

"I'm alright," she promised, taking his hand into her own. "I just wonder if I ought to head back home early." Matthew's brows furrowed.

"We'll catch the first train back."

"No," Mary said. "I can go alone. You mustn't leave this fun behind. Anna and Sybil are at Downton. Carson and Mrs. Hughes as well. I will be alright."

But Matthew would hear none of it. He had already stood and rung his bell for Molesley.

"We will go back together."

At that, Mary had to smile. She appreciated that he wanted to be with her. She was pregnant with his child, so he should be allowed to travel with her. Plus, she couldn't lie and say that it didn't make her feel better about the travels. She had been quite worried about traveling alone and feeling like this.

Their bags were quickly packed and then they were set off to the train. Mary assured her parents that she was fine and that if anything changed they would let them know.

Once they were safely on the train, Mary was able to relax. They were heading home and she had Matthew at her side.

1920s- Downton Abbey

As promised, they did find a new nanny for Downton Abbey. And it didn't take them as long had they had predicted it might. The new nanny was kind and she did seem to really care for Sybbie and Johnny. But Anna wasn't quite ready to let Johnny sleep back in the nursery, even though it was tight with him in the room with her. She needed to be sure that she could trust this new woman to watch her child when she wasn't there.

"Oh Anna!" Mrs. Hughes waved her down. Anna had been getting Lady Mary's room ready since they had heard of her early arrival.

"Yes, Mrs. Hughes."

"Lady Mary has gone to Hospital. They want you to go as well." Anna's mouth flew opened.

"Me?"

"Yes, you. I'll check in on Johnny, but he seems to enjoy Nanny. Go on, then."

Anna nodded.

Tom had brought the car around, so by the time Anna was outside he was ready to take her to the hospital.

When Anna arrived, she found Matthew pacing outside. The sight made her smile and also made her wonder if this would have been John, as she was giving birth to Johnny. Would he have been pacing back and forth the entire time with disheveled hair and a stressed gait?

The moment Matthew realized Anna was there, he stopped.

"Thank god you're here! Mary has been asking for you."

"For me?" Anna was surprised.

"Yes, she wants you in the room with her."

A happiness swelled in Anna's chest. This was the biggest moment in Mary's life and she wanted her to be there with her. Maybe she had been right, the birth of the child would bring them close again. They would have their children to bond over.

Anna rushed inside and was led right to where Mary was. Her face was bright red and screwed up tightly. As the contraction released her from the pain, she met Anna's eyes and gave a relieved sigh.

"You're here," she breathed.

"I am," Anna promised. She took Mary's hand.

"How did you look so composed during birth? This is torture," Mary moaned. Anna only placed her hand against Mary's shoulder to give her some comfort.

"It is," Anna agreed. "Scream as much as you'd like and soon you'll have a beautiful baby."

Mary did scream and she did shout. Anna was there through it all. She held Mary's hand and wiped her brow with a towel. It was Anna who she turned to for comfort and Anna who she asked for, if Anna had to leave the room for a moment.

And in the end, a beautiful baby boy had been born.

"Oh, Lady Mary," Anna gushed. "You've done it."

"I have," she said, happily looking down at her new son. "And it's thanks to you, Anna. You really are a true friend." Those words made Anna's heart skip a beat.

"Thanks m'lady. I will fetch Matthew for you."

-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-

She was exhausted, but so very happy. She could not wait for Matthew to return. They had had their moment with their George, their heir. But she still wanted him back. It felt as though he had been gone for ages.

The nurse came and took George from her arms and she fell back against the pillows. The door opened and she sat back up, hoping for Matthew. It wasn't Matthew; it was her father. However, he didn't bare the glowing smile of a man who just had his first grandson and his heir. No, his entire face was darkened and he grew closer to Mary slowly.

"Papa?" Everything felt heavy around Mary. Something was very wrong.

"Oh Mary," he quietly began. "It's Matthew."

The world spun around her and Mary struggled to grasp at anything. There was a loud scream and it took her a moment to realize that it was coming from her own lips.

Fall 1970

A tear slid down Mary's cheek and she pressed her hand against the skin to catch it. It had been nearly fifty years, but the loss of Matthew still hurt. She had known then that she would never get over it. Her parents insisted that with time she would move forward. In a way, they had been right. But his loss had forever changed her. She never got over the impact it held upon her.

She stood in front of his grave site and missed the days when it was easy for her to bend down and touch his grave stone. Standing here would have to do.

"Hi," she whispered. She knew he could hear her. Whenever she stood in this spot, she could feel him near her. Perhaps it was something she had convinced herself of all those years ago, but she liked to think that it was him checking up on her.

She heard footsteps behind her, but she didn't turn. She knew it was Anna. Anna had gone to visit Bates' grave. They often traveled together for these visits. The two of them understood the pain that still hit them to this day.

Anna's hand folded around Mary's and her head rested against Mary's arm.

"He loved you very much," she told her.

"He did," Mary agreed. "And I am forever grateful for that love."

To be continued...