Ernest goes to Johto

Editors Note: I don't own anything in this story, mainly because I can't afford it.

This is a crossover story regarding the lovable, dimwitted Ernest P Worrell and the Japanese phenomenon, Pokemon. The events transpire during timeframe of "Pokemon: The Movie 2000", although the settings and characters have been changed (I personally thought the name "Ernest goes to the Orange Islands" was crappy). This fan fiction also uses quotes, situations, and other events almost directly from the numerous Ernest film series. I've also attempted to retain both of the source materials cheesiness, mashing together several genres into one crazy tale. Please enjoy!

Chapter 1: Introduction

Out in the vast region of Johto, our heroes find themselves dining at The Salty Shrimp seafood restaurant. After discovering that Ash was in fact, "The One", he decided to celebrate with one last meal before they set off on their trip to change the world

"Well, I guess this is kind of a surprise huh?" Ash said.

"I can't believe it either! A twerp like you, The Chosen One?" Misty replied.

"Hey! I'm not a twerp!" Ash retorted angrily.

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

"Yeah, you are Ash!"

"Well, at least I'm not a scrawny redhead with a temper problem!"

"You dare to call ME, the fourth Sensational Sister, scrawny?"

"Well, you are!
"Am not!"

"Are too!"

"Am not!"

Brock stared incredulously at the two.

Even with the world at stake, they fought over the most trivial things.

Stranger still, they managed to find time to eat in this run down looking diner.

He went to go and fill his soda, and heard what he knew was coming; a loud THWACK!

Turning around, he saw Misty triumphantly standing tall, brandishing her trusty mallet, while Ash sat on the ground holding the top of his head.

"Will you guys give it a rest? No matter what happens, you two always manage to find time to squabble over such petty things!" Brock exclaimed.

"If Ash here didn't start these sort of-"

"ME? You started this one!"

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

"Did not!"

"You know what Misty," Ash shot at her caressing the top of his head, "I think I'll need to go use the first-aid kit because of you and your mallet!"

"I guess you probably should" Misty replied with a tenderness not often found in her voice.

Ash stared at her, not believing what he just heard.

Misty noticed Ash staring at her, and her face turned a dark shade of red.

"What?" She shouted at him.

"I never thought you actually cared about-"

"About what, you?" Misty snapped. "It's just that uhh….." Misty stuttered.

I can't let on that I actually care about him! What do I say to him?"

"It's just that…..if you showed up on camera with a huge bump on your head, I'd look irresponsible! Do you know what that would do to the reputation of the Cerulean City gym if I let on that I couldn't take care of my own partner?"

"Whew! That was too close." Misty thought to herself, relieved.

"Yeah right" Ash said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Ash got up and walked to front desk, his Pikachu closely following.

"Pikapikachu!" the critter exclaimed.

"Pikachu, I think that I can tend my own wounds. You stay here and keep an eye on Brock and Misty for me, Ok?"

"Pika!" Pikachu nodded and scurried back to the table, where it could continue eating its precious ketchup packets.

"Excuse me, do you have a first aid kit around here?" Ash asked the manager.

"Uh-huh. We got us one of them around back out in the restroom" The manager pointed out the window, where Ash could see the sign "FIRST-AID station and RESTROOMS" in front of a building.

"Ok thanks." Ash was walking towards the back door when the manager said to him; "Hey sonny."

Ash turned around and stared inquisitively at him.

"It's not really any of my concern, but I think my advice will be pretty useful here. If you want to keep your relationship with your girlfriend intact-"

Ash's face soon felt very hot, and he could tell he was blushing profusely.

"She is NOT my girlfriend!" He declared to the manager.

The manager looked quizzically at him. "Oh? If you have to put up with that everyday and still stick together, I figured you must be in some kind of relationship."

"Sorry to disappoint you, but we are both just friends!" Ash cried defensively.

He walked out the back door towards the other building as the manager said "Young love…..He's in denial all right!" The manager looked towards Misty who was staring intently out the window at the building Ash had just entered.

Yup, he thought, there's definitely something there….

………………………………………………………

"Come on people! We need to move this stuff before our opening tomorrow!"

A large balding man wearing a rather gaudy pinstripe suit gave this command.

"Pokemon merchandise sells like hotcakes around here, and we can bet the moon that we will sell out very quickly if we don't have all of the merchandise unpacked!"

A young man in red coat with the label "Albert's Toys and Games" sauntered up to him and stated "Dude! It's quitting time! I've been working for 16 hours straight! Find someone else to unpack all of this stuff for you!" The young man walked out of the store, mumbling under his breath.

Albert (the aforementioned balding man) thought to himself:

Where the heck can I find someone to work for me this late? Who would be stupid en-"

At this thought he smiled a very wide peculiar grin and shouted "ERNEST!"

Out of the bathroom a man wearing a grey T-shirt with a sleeveless denim jean jacket, coupled with a brown hat strutted out towards the source of the call.

"Ernest!" Albert said with a forced sound of relief in his voice "I'm glad you're here! I need you to-"

"Yup. I knew this was comin'!" Ernest said with a confident tone, "When the chips are down, and you got no one to work for you, you call on me, Ernest P. Worrell, janitor-in-chief, to help you with your last minute work."

Albert gaped at Ernest and shifted his feet guiltily.

"Yeah, actually that's what I wante-"

"Well then sir!" Ernest said "You have picked the right man for the job!"

Albert grinned at him, the same devilish smile he had done earlier, and spoke

"Ernest, I just don't know what we'd do without you here!" Ernest missed the sarcasm in his voice.

"Look, I need you to unpack all of this Pokemon merchandise, and polish the floors with that nifty sweeper you got in the Custodial Storage."

"No problemo, comprendo. I will have those pookiemen organized to the standard of the most fussy of mothers with an Obsessive Compulsive Disorder! The floors will be polished to such a mirror sheen, that when finished, the results could be blinding, to the point of being potentially dangerous, and cause many…." Ernest rambled on.

Albert muttered very quietly, "Such a great way of thinking Ernest! And of course you won't mind if I neglected to pay you overtime would you? I'd like this to be a favor. Is that alright?" Ernest paid no attention to this statement (he was still going on),

"I'll take that as a yes. Thanks a lot Worrell!" Albert exited the store.

….."Nevertheless, I will purge this market of any dust and other allergy inducing agents. Well, have a good night sir!"

Ernest looked around, and noticed that his boss had left.

"Well, I might as well begin unloading these Pokiemen, freeing them from their cardboard prison, and allowing them to breathe the fresh, lemon scented air that could only come from my sweeper, the one and only, The Clean Sweep."

After several minutes, he had finished opening all of the boxes and crates with the Pokemon stuff inside. He was about to "free the first prisoner (A small yellow mouse named "Pikachu")", when he thought to himself:

That wouldn't be fair! Those poor little critters, after living their lives in a dark brown cage, coming out into the world, seeing that is just as brown and hideous on the outside! I will do what I know is right, and polish these floors till they shine and give the image of perfection and welcoming!

Ernest shuffled to the janitor's closet, opened the door, and pulled out his sweeper, whom he dubbed "The Clean Sweep".

"Now, for The Clean Sweep to begin its war cry, and unleash its omniplexint power to the dust and grime that befoul the floors!"

He flicked the switch to the "On" position, yet nothing happened.

"Eheheheh" he laughed to himself, "perhaps it needs a few more knocks before it will answer the door of life, and fulfill the destiny it was meant to uhh…..fulfill!"

He flicked the switch several times, blissfully unaware of the warning on the sweeper that read "WARNING: Do not rapidly flick switch!"

After half an hour of switch flipping he digressed.

"It's always the hard workers who face the most trouble during their job.

But I won't always be a janitor. Soon, I will be able to make children laugh and delight them with my amazing acting abilities" He gazed longingly at the gigantic Pikachu costume in the far corner.

"Yes, someday soon, I will be a mascot, wearing the shell of many characters, and be able to truly demonstrate my talent of portraying numerous facades!

Yup, one of these days, I'm going to walk up to Albert and say -"

Suddenly, the Clean Sweep started.

Ernest, not expecting it in the least, was holding on to the handle for dear life as it dragged him along the floor like a snake. The sweeper was gliding all over the place, smashing into, and consequently knocking over, shelves containing valuable collectables and figurines.

"Oh No! Easy Boy! Or Girl!" he yelled at the sweeper, "Boy, ain't this embarrassing, being dragged around by a miniature zamboni, and I don't even know its gender!" He smashed through several other shelves, and the sounds echoed loudly throughout the store. "Come now, I'm sure we can work this out Clean Sweep! Maybe you could back to my place, and I could introduce you to a real nice Hoover!"

He flew at the front desk, and sent all of the premiere items cascading to the floor as the sweeper ran straight through the desk.

"Wow Clean Sweep! You sure do suck!" Clean Sweep turned, almost in response to Ernest's comment and started to fly towards the newly opened boxes of Pokemon goods! "Wait ,Wait! I meant it in a good way! Please just spare those poor things the horror of coming into the world to unpolished and improperly organized area!"

Tearing through the boxes, the figurines flew high in the air and came crashing down to the ground.

"I'm real sorry about this, knowhatimean? My sweeper's in a real bad mood today! It's a Gemini, and it's a full moon!" He shouted, attempting to reason with and comfort the inanimate merchandise. Although he had been trying for several minutes to press the switch to deactivate Clean Sweep, he finally managed to press a button…..only, the button was labeled "Wet n' Sudsy". Suds and water emanated from the sweeper. White foam sprayed everywhere around the store, and Ernest was blinded due to soapy residue landing in his eyes.

He wiped the suds from his eyes, and saw that the vacuum was heading straight for the wall with the poster proclaiming "Break through the boundaries: Begin the Pokemon journey!"

"AAAHHHHHHH! Please turn! Please, please, please, plea-ease!"

It kept heading straight for the wall….

"Just….got…ta …… shut her….or is it…. him……..off!"

His hand kept slipping from the off switch.

"Oh come on now! Starboard! Leeward! Edward! Anywhere but the wall-ward! UUUUUUUUWAAAAAAH!"

The sweeper flew straight into the poster and ripped through it, then tearing the flimsy plywood wall down (What? You didn't think it was going to go up the wall did you?). Ernest was blinded by the wood shavings that had mixed with the foam in his eyes.