Chapter 3: Mistaken Identities…

"How'd I end up like this?"

Ash asked himself this question as he was dangling, upside down by a power cord from the ceiling of the toy store.

"So this is where Ernest is from huh? WOW! Look at all of this Pokemon stuff!" Scattered throughout the store, there was Pokemon paraphernalia to see.

"Boy, Ernest's world sure is crazy. Not once, did a sweeper get caught on the ceiling back in Pallet Town, no siree."

He could feel the blood rushing to his head, so he had to do something quickly to get out of the situation and onto solid ground. A stroke of brilliance overtook him; He reached up to his waist and grabbed one of his Pokeballs, and unleashed the creature inside.

A small greenish Pokemon with a flower bulb on its back appeared out of a flash of red light.

"Alright Bulbasaur", Ash shouted triumphantly, "Use your razor leaf to get me down from here!"

"Bulba!" The Bulbasaur did as it was told and cut the power cord freeing Ash, but also causing him to land headfirst in a large pile of Pokemon figurines.

He pulled himself out of the pile, still dizzy after being disorientated by the fall, and said "Great job, Bulbasaur. Return!" The Pokemon transformed into a bright red light, which moved itself to the inside of the open Pokeball, which promptly closed afterwards.

Moving his Pokeball back to his belt, he looked around the room of the store, his jaw practically on the floor.

"Wow. Ernest says that he's a sanitary engineer, but he must be a pretty poor one, judging by the state of this place."

One couldn't help but agree when they saw the condition of the premises.

Toys, Cards, Books lay strewn about the floor. Ernest was right, he'd get in serious trouble for this mess. But Ash, as kind-hearted as he was, decided to help Ernest out, and commenced cleaning the store.

He didn't have any reason to, but he felt way down deep that Ernest was a nice person, who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time; perhaps the mess wasn't his fault. He also felt a strong emotional pull to it as well, as though it was his destiny…..

As soon as he started to place an unopened package of Charmander Evolutions toys (which brought him fond memories of when his Charmander actually listened to him, before it evolved) on its proper shelf, he heard a door open.

"Hey! It's just me! I thought I'd bring my most valuable employee a 2 week old donut and a cup of discount coffee!"

This must be the boss that Ernest was talking about, Ash thought.

"Yeah Worrell, this place would be in a right sorry state if it weren't for….."

Although Ash couldn't see him, he knew that the boss's mouth was wide open.

"EEEEEEEERRRRRRNNNNNNNEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSTTTTTTTT!"

……………………………………………………………………

"C'mon Ash! We've got to hurry!" Misty shouted at Ernest.

Ernest, with a look of annoyance on his face tried to convince them of the truth.

"I told you, I'm not this Ash guy! Right now he's probab-"

"For the last time Ash, knock it off. I paid for that meal, so you can drop the act now." Brock exasperatedly told him.

"I'm honest, I'm not Ash; I'm Ernest, Ernest P Worrell."

"If you're Ernest P Worrell, then I'm Elvis Presley." Misty said to him.

"No Way! You don't look a thing like Elvis! He had this really weird looking hair do, and he always wore this really weird looking white shirt thing with a real big collar! His hair was black though, and yours is semi-red. Didn't he die though, you don't look dead, at least not to me…" Ernest replied, a look of incredulity on his face.

Brock and Misty, sick of his "act" both yelled at him; "Enough! Ash, you are acting really stupid right now, and that's the last thing we need! Honestly, you get the title of 'The One' and you let it go to your head, making up some fictional character, trying to get out of it! You are too lazy for your own good, Ketchum!"

Ernest was tired of attempting to tell the truth, fighting against what would never come to be, so he decided to go along with it.

"OK guys, I'm sorry that I acted like the most noble and valiant Ernest P Worrell. I will fulfill my duties as 'The One'…….'The One' what?"

Pleased to see that they finally had Ash back to his old self, they answered his question.

"About time, Ash!" Misty exclaimed with relief "Now let's get you to the uhh….Brock, where do we need to go again?"

"Some island south of here. Honestly, we were closer to it at Shamouti Island than we are here, why didn't we just go there then?"

"Someone misread the map, isn't that right, Ash?"

Ernest snapped out of it. "Huh? I dunno, you tell me. It's all just a blur, knowhatimean?"

Misty looked at him, and sympathetically agreed with him.

"It was that first-aid kit wasn't it? Yup, someone screwed with that really bad."

Misty was hoping for a nice response from Ernest (whom she thought was still Ash), hoping that he would notice that she cared.

Ernest disregarded what she had just told him, and asked "You still haven't told me what 'One' I am yet! I once was a player on a b-ball team, but I was player '-O'. I got it! You must be referring to my days as a troll fighter! I was and still am Troll Fighter, number one! Ehehehehe…"

Misty looked depressed that her concern was completely blown off, so Brock answered.

"If it boosts your ego, I'll tell you one more time. You are the chosen one, the savior of the world, who will set the balance of the elements straight. It really sickens me to hear that, I can practically see your head expanding."

Ernest looked smugly ahead of them, smiling at nothing in particular and began a monologue.

"I guess it's fitting that I, Ernest P er…….uh……Ash Ketchup, am the hero.

After all, I've often been called "Man of Destiny".

I always end up as the thin line between victory, and certain death. Guess y'all knew which one I was hoping for huh?

Just like my time in Briarville, Missouri, I get to save the world once again……what? I have to save the world?"

"Well, duh! What else to Chosen people do? Besides get a big head and act like a jerk?" Misty shot at him, obviously still stung by Ernest's lack of acknowledgement.

Ernest put his hand to his chin, opened his mouth to speak, paused, and then answered her question.

"Well, Gee, I don't really know anything else chosen people would do. Unless they are winners of a contest, and go collect their prize. I won a contest once, it really neat! I got first place in a basketball tournament, of course I had a little help from my talking shoes, but I still won. Once I was even the 'Chosen One' for jury duty! In fact, I was chosen to be a camp counselor! That was a red-letter day to remember!"

Brock and Misty just stared at Ernest, and he smiled back, his trademark dopey grin.

…………

"I can't believe you, Ernest! I trusted you to clean the store and you do the complete opposite!" A balding man shouted at Ash.

Frustrated, Ash retorted "I told you, I'm not Ernest! I'm Ash Ketchum, and I don't belong here, I'm not from this world! I have to go back!"

Albert verbally assaulted him some more, "You know what? I believe you when you say you're not from this world! I'll even believe you when you say you don't belong here. In fact, I agree with you! You don't belong here; YOU'RE FIRED!"

Had Ash actually vied for the job, he might have felt worse about losing it. Instead, he felt guilty. When all of this was done and over with, and Ernest came back, he'd be out of a job.

Ash started walking towards the door, being jeered by Albert.

"Yeah! Get out of here Ernest, or what was it you said? Ash? HAHAHAHAHA……huh?

Albert looked at an action figure on the ground with the label "Pokemon Master-Ash Ketchum." He had never noticed it before, but Ernest did look very similar to Ash. Ash was a popular enough character, so he'd probably attract customers big-time.

"Hold up! I'm really sorry that I fired you, Ernest. Do you need a job? It just so happens that I am hiring for an Ash Ketchum promotional mascot. Would you like the job?"

Ash laughed at the irony of the situation. Here was Ash, being offered a job that paid him to be himself, at a job he didn't even work at.

"I guess I can do that for you, on one condition."

"Name it Ernest! I'd do anything to make you, the greatest guy in the world, happy."

Stifling his laughter, Ash told him "Can I have my job back as a janitor when I'm done?"

"Of course you can, Ernest my boy!"

………………………………………….

"I'm telling you, I don't take well to responsibility! The whole saving the world thing is out of my league!" Ernest pleaded to Brock and Misty, desperately trying to avoid the arduous task of saving the world.

"Normally, I'd agree with you Ash, but considering that you are the only person who can save us, you don't have any other choice!" Misty scowled at Ernest.

"But, I'm not Ash! I'm telling you, I'm Ernest! I'm not the chosen one, despite my excellent track record of my many achievements. Sure I was called 'Man of Destiny', but that was a self title. PPLEHEASE! You gotta believe me!"

"Drop the act, Ash! We're almost here, so be respectful to Melody and the Slowking. They are going to help you with your job." Brock whispered.

Ernest didn't realize it, but for the past hour or so, they had been walking over frozen ice that was once the ocean. Snow drifted down slowly and lightly, covering all of them with white specks that melted almost immediately. They had just arrived on solid land on an island covered with numerous pillars and an odd pedestal at the far end. There was a lone girl garbed in white playing a flute as they drew near.

The group settled down next to the girl, and she excitedly looked at Ernest and the rest.

"Thank goodness you made it! The world will thank you for this, especially you As-WAAAAAAAAHHH! Ash, what did you do to your face?"

Misty decided to jump in "He used a defective first-aid kit, and it had some bad side effects."

Melody snickered "Really? A defective first-aid kit? Did you help him with it; that might explain its side effects?"

Misty, slightly abashed, replied, "No! I didn't think he would want my help since I was the one who injured him".

She had said it proudly, actually, she boasted about it. But she felt terrible.

"You must have hit him pretty hard. You know, you're kind of abusive. Maybe Ash needs a better girlfriend."

Misty's face was scarlet and she shouted "Ash is not my BOYFRIEND! How could you suggest such a thing? Me and him dating, yeah right!"

Realizing she found a weak point, Melody taunted some more. "Admit it Misty, you like him and we both know it! Ash and Misty sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I……."

Embarrassed beyond anything she had ever been before, Misty decided to put an end to Melody's game.

"Ash and I are only together because he owes me a new bike! As soon as he gets me one, I'm out of here! You know what? I don't think that a bike is worth this much trouble! Once this is finished I'm leaving. I HATE ASH! How could you get the idea that we were even remotely close to dating….."

Melody was completely silent. She hadn't meant anything by it, it was just a joke. She looked over at Ernest who was not listening to a word they were saying.

Interrupting Misty, she spoke quietly, yet clearly to Ernest. "Well Ash? What do you think of this?"

Misty suddenly stopped shouting and looked at Ernest, afraid of what he was going to say.

"…….Oh come now, don't tell me we lost the bloody map-Oh no sir, that map's around here somewheres—huh?"

Ernest looked up to see everyone staring at him. "Oh, hi fellas! Did you need something?"

Everyone else fell to the ground, stupefied.

"Was it something I said? Maybe you guys need more blood-sugar.

Without a healthy and stable amount, you risk falling asleep and fainting by about uhh…..a lot more than if you had proper blood sugar, knowhatimean?

No response.

Brock, Misty and Melody finally picked themselves off the ground , when a deep voice cut the silence short.

"Oh Good! You're here, Chosen One."

It was a Slowking, but Ernest saw it completely differently.

"I don't believe it! A talking pig that can walk and uhh…..talk! Look at that awesome thing that's biting down on your head! What is it? It looks like a huge gray slug, but like it's solidified, it even has eyes! I wish my hat had eyes but it doesn't…"

Slowking looked confused and asked Melody "Are you sure that he's the Chosen One? He doesn't seem the type…"

"…. Of course, my shoes had eyes once. They could talk too, but that's not nearly as cool as a talking pig……"

Melody anxiously said to Slowking, "He's the one, there's no doubt about that. He just used a defective first-aid kit, and it kinda messed him up…."

"He'll just have to pull through I guess. Chosen One!"

Ernest jumped at the call of Slowking. "…… but it wasn't my fault, the saw did it, I just watched! Hmmmmm? What do ya need?"

"It's time for your quest to begin…..are you ready?" Slowking asked, his voice devoid of emotion.

"Well uh, I guess so. What do I have to do?"

Melody jumped in; "It's simple really, you just have to go to the Fire, Ice, and Lightning Islands and collect the orbs from the islands. Bring them back here, and your quest will be over!"

Ernest boasted, "You guys need me to go collect a few balls? It's such a shame that today, one must be chosen to perform such an arduous task. Solid proof of our degenerating society I guess."

"You'll begin then? Great! Let us hope you succeed , Oh Chosen One!"

Ernest smiled his proud, smug smile. "Not to worry, for I, Erne…. Ash Ketchum will finish this most mediocre of chores, all in the name of tradition, honor, and continued dental well-being."

"I don't mean to sound like a jerk, but don't you think you're taking this too lightly? I mean, with the three legendary birds rampaging about, it might be a bit more difficult than you thought….." Melody questioned his confidence.

"My confidence is not without warrant young lady. All I have to do is collect a bunch of orbs. What could possibly go wrong?"