Through Metamorphosis

RWThunder

Part VI

"Edward, are you positive this is alright?" No answer to this, but the blond showed little sign of hesitance in his actions as he bravely explored the bare expanse of pale skin. Of course he wasn't positive, of course he couldn't be sure that he was ready, but he wanted it. Roy knew how he felt. His only option was to be as gentle and careful as he could, ever on the look-out for signs of fear or discomfort. He had to be a model for Ed, a teacher, a lover.

The Fullmetal Alchemist was obviously unclear about where exactly he was meant to focus his attention. He had no idea what other people generally found stimulating, what Roy would find stimulating. And because of the state of his nerves, the excitement, the worry, and the anticipation of it all, he couldn't even so much as think to imagine what he himself would call pleasurable. A good way to start figuring out what someone else liked was to try out the things you already knew felt good for you, but Ed didn't know this.

All the same, perhaps merely for the novelty, Roy was enjoying himself. After all, this experience wasn't about perfection, far from it. And although Roy could have recalled other times when the touches had been more confident and arousing, he knew better than to compare those times with now, those people with Ed. Besides, having someone touch him, being only who they were, had never been so exhilarating for the former general.

Maybe it was because Ed was so concentrated, or because his silky hair brushed over Roy's skin with every unsure movement of his tongue or fingers, or perhaps because Fullmetal had never does this before—to anyone. That fact alone was satisfying enough to have Roy feeling very good about his present situation.

There was an instinct, a nagging feeling that told the brunette to touch back, to not play dead and reciprocate, but it was repressed. After the night before, Roy now understood how important it was not to dominate Ed. Ed, who was himself very dominant by nature and was certainly not accustomed to being intimate with anyone, let alone submissively.

This was the blond's time to lead, to try his hand at things, and it was Roy's task to let him. Currently, the brunette was enjoying his job very much, different as it was from his usual role in the game of intimacy. Edward, on the other hand, had developed the nervous habit of looking hastily up at Roy, in question, each time he switched gears to try something new.

The Flame Alchemist learned that at such times, a simple nod or smile was enough to encourage him. Still, he was realizing that there was a fine line between being submissive and being unresponsive. This was, after all, still a two-person game. Thus, he paid Ed back for his efforts in what small ways he could without interrupting; the scrape of a nail over a flushed cheek, the brush of fingers through layers of golden hair, the gentle movement of a thumb tracing the curve of an ear.

Ed had nearly exhausted all of his ideas as he lay between Roy's legs, unconsciously licking alchemical symbols into the inside of his companion's thigh. He was hard again, they both were, though not quite to the point of driving necessity. The lingering taste of salt in the blond's mouth ruled out the option of repeating his stunt from earlier. That, and a strange bite of embarrassment at the thought of performing such a task, start to finish, while the brunette was awake and alert.

Roy had yet to be critical of him, or even to seem ungracious, but Edward was not prepared to do anything that might merit any sort of disapproval. Thus, he now avoided what he thought of as conventional forms of pleasure, instead inventing his own unique tricks, half out of desperation, as he worked his way back up to Roy's neck. There, he hid his face against the pillow above the brunette's shoulder, his hands still working mindlessly over Flame's chest.

Half by mistake, his fingertips brushed over a nipple, which he returned to when a soft sound floated from Roy's lips for the first time since Ed had began. He had only just started to investigate this exciting new weakness when he felt the brunette tug impatiently on his hair. He lifted his head in response, and was immediately tugged forward into a near-violent kiss which ended only when Ed had the audacity to grind their hips together, drawing a rough gasp from both parties and ending the duel of tongues.

Whether to restrain Roy or himself, or both, Ed placed his hands on the brunette's shoulders and held himself above, just hovering over his companion, frustratingly out of reach.

The level of excitement, of heart rate, and of arousal was quite akin to their previous encounter the night before; this observation lead Edward to replay a few select events from that time. Doing so brought to him a question. Unsatisfied with his own mental investigation, the blond ventured to pose this query to Roy instead.

Settling down upon his companion's lap, somewhat awkwardly due to their states of arousal, Ed summoned the use of his voice again.

"Roy, last night when I...when you…what were you trying to do?" Roy, who had been agonizing over broaching this topic himself now relaxed, making it his present task to help Edward do the same. Hands moved deftly over the blond's shoulders and down his spine, dancing upwards again to revisit that dip in the back of his neck, rubbing gently to recapture a more comfortable, secure feeling for his fellow alchemist.

"To prepare you." He let the simplicity of his reply sink in. "Without preparation, going further would be unappealing for both of us." Roy decided to interoperate Ed's blush as recognition and smiled disarmingly.

"And I don't mean just physically. I know you can handle a lot of pain, although I don't mean to test your tolerance or even engage it; I think it's much more important that you get your mind around it, that you adjust to the feeling. It's a new sensation that can be disconcerting and a little scary, but time and patience—on both our parts—will reduce if not obliterate that."

"Will you do it…now?" The brunette was caught by surprise and went so far as to gape, uncharacteristically, until Ed repeated himself. "Now, Roy? Just…to try?" Somehow the idea seemed ludicrous to Roy. After the other night, Ed's reaction, Roy's mistake…

"Ed, maybe we should try going a little slower, don't you think?"

"We just were." His near pout was almost enough to persuade the Flame Alchemist. Ed rolled over, somehow managing to lift Roy's weight for a moment, forcing the brunette to catch himself lest he topple forward onto the smaller, more delicate blond.

"Edward…we don't have to…" He kissed that delicious neck and tasted sweat, his excitement, gathering in the tension of the moment.

"Just do it. Right now I'm…please, just don't make me think about it, go, go…!" He spread his legs, but already he was too tense. Still, Roy understood. And besides, he could make this very good for Ed, of that he was confident. He slid a hand under his companion and down his spine to rest beneath the small of his back.

"Lift your hips." Ed did so, letting his head fall back onto the welcoming pillow and shutting his eyes. It was only then that Roy felt two clammy hands gripping his shoulders almost painfully. He removed them as carefully as he could, bringing both to his lips and showering them with coaxing kisses.

The hand still acting as a buffer between Ed's back and the mattress pressed upward reassuringly. Simultaneously, Roy released the boy's hands and brought his fingers to his mouth. Ever quick to react, the blond's hand shot out and grabbed Flame's wrist, golden eyes insistent.

"Let me." The brunette could only nod and watch as Ed drew his index finger into his mouth, past those warm lips, to be caressed by a shockingly sinful tongue that sent sparks shooting up Roy's arm. Then another finger, then another, an experimental suck of that warm mouth serving to drive the former general into an even higher state of frantic arousal.

"That's good, that's good…" Flame heard himself say, gently pulling his hand free not quite fast enough to escape a flick from Ed' s curious tongue. He brought his now slicked fingers down the blond's upper body, their progress intently followed by insistent, shining gold. Roy bit his lip.

"Look at me, Edward." Those eyes reluctantly met his, darting from their dark counterparts to the traveling hand and back again. "Only at me." Now fully resigned, Ed stared numbly at Roy as the brunette lifted his fingers over his hip.

"Hurry."

"Lie back, Edward." Leave it to me. The ache between the Flame Alchemist's legs spiked as his quivering fingers reached their goal, pausing, then circling gently. Ed's face went white.

"It's alright…" His other hand rubbed the blond's back comfortingly. "Just relax."

"Why don't you try it?" Somehow, despite the situation, that spark of retaliation was a comfort to Roy. It was a piece of genuine Ed, a significant step away from the frightened virgin at his mercy.

"I don't doubt that someday I will." The brunette replied in honesty. A single finger pushed forward to the first knuckle and Edward tensed.

"With me?" He was wincing, but there was a playful challenge in those eyes, in that shaky smirk.

"That's how I imagine it. I'd give himself to you." Roy smiled at the flattered look of surprise in his companion's face. He pushed further inward.

"How…noble" The hands were back on his shoulders, the right still refusing to participate as roughly in the squeezing taking place, the ghost of automail, Ed's concern that he would hurt Roy, subconscious or not.

"Relax…" He repeated.

"I am." Fullmetal took in a long, deep breath. "I'm not sure I'd wish this on you." He rasped out, fingers contracting, eyes squeezed shut.

"I don't know about that." He was confident. It wasn't rocket science. Roy searched in earnest, brows furrowed, gently stroking deeper, deeper…

"Oh fuck." Roy allowed himself a smirk of triumph.

"Stay relaxed, it gets better." There we go. A second finger joined the first, both curling in unison directly into that spot.

A small cry, a sound that communicated everything that needed to be said. Roy drank it in, repeating his actions, lowering his head to Edward's shoulder. Immediately, hands jumped into silky, black hair, tugging, kneading, and twisting in a silent language that only the brunette could understand.

Three fingers now, moving rapidly, surely, bending in unison, devoted to the cause of breaking the silence with Ed's sharp cries, his gasps of surprise, and those treasured moans of Roy's name.

He'd never breathed so hard in his life, nor been so enveloped in another's pleasure, a pleasure that he had control over, yet somehow shared in if only by understanding. The Flame Alchemist slid his free hand out from under his partner, delivering a few quick, well-timed strokes to that now peaked hardness.

Warmth covered his hand and he looked up at Ed in surprise.

The blond had somehow managed to push himself, pillow included, fully back against the headboard. From this position, neck arched back, the sun fell over his face in warm, glowing rays that made his hair shine. And if Roy had thought Ed looked better with his hair down before, he was discovering it again as he studied the chaotic yet beautiful array of those tangled, golden waves spread out over the pillow.

It was his face that sealed Roy's doom, so very not Ed, so different from the boy of three years ago in its unlawful strain of ecstasy. The open mouth, glassy eyes, and Roy's name lingering on those parted lips were the most valuable things in the world.

"Roy…" Sang a slightly louder echo. The brunette felt himself fall, slamming his hands down into the sheets quickly in recovery, sparing Ed his weight. It took him a moment to realize that he'd come.

--

"Aren't you going to eat?" Ed blew past him in a whirl of golden hair as he delivered his own dishes to the waiting sink. In honor of the occasion, he wore only his familiar leather pants, allowing Roy to enjoy the sight of the sweat still clinging to his upper body.

The brunette was slumped over in his chair, dressed casually in jeans and a button-up shirt that had only gotten halfway done. As he faced his toast, Roy marveled at the energy his companion had gathered so quickly after experiencing what had to be his first orgasm. Roy's body, having gone through a more mediocre (if frustrating) ordeal, was not so fast to recover.

"I suppose I should." He didn't touch the toast, dark eyes focusing instead on the upbeat movements of the blond. Edward turned towards him.

"Then eat." Seeing that Roy continued to ignore his ever-patient toast, Ed abandoned the dishrag he'd been holding. Hopping onto the large, wood table, Fullmetal settled himself across from Roy and his plate, crossing his legs.

"Eat." He insisted.

"Are you feeling alright?" The brunette asked, ignoring the matter at hand. Despite his mild frustration, Ed smiled.

"I feel great. Don't worry about me." He picked up the golden bread and took a bite. "See? No poison." He handed the toast to Roy. "Hurry up." Black eyes jumped to his.

"In a hurry are we?" Nonetheless, he began to eat. Ed tapped his fingers on the table impatiently.

"I want to get outside. We've been cooped up in here for too long." Roy stood, leaving his breakfast unfinished.

"I agree." He offered his hand to Edward, who grinned.

--

It was drawing close to noon when Ed finally grew weary of dragging Roy through the countryside. The brunette noticed that his companion had purposefully steered him away from the small graveyard, as well as the ruins of his old house. That was a matter for another time, the Flame Alchemist mused, another day when he was not so distracted by Ed's matured composure, by the memory of him losing that composure so beautifully.

The Rockbell house was now in sight.

"Let's sit down here." Roy stopped halfway down a low hill approaching their place of residence. Ed let himself be pulled down to sit on the grass, spreading his legs out in front of him and watching the sun continue to climb.

"Tired already?" He joked.

"I was losing you." Roy admitted. "I was losing the feel of you, the way I remember it."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Ed started when two hands cupped his face and slowly turned him towards Roy, who leaned forward to press their foreheads together.

"Oh…" And Ed let himself be held and kissed because he too wanted to remember. When those hands smoothed over his shoulders, they touched a healed body that sang its gratitude ecstatically. He let Roy kiss him for so long and so aggressively because it made him forget to move his left shoulder forward, to banish his right hand to his side, to cringe when fingers brushed over his knee so close to a place of shadowed injury.

Then they both remembered to breathe.

Ed found himself lying on his back in the grass, hands locked behind Roy's neck. The brunette had gotten into the habit of letting his head fall onto Fullmetal's shoulder, turned slightly just so that he could inhale the scent of his hair.

A lot of things seemed distant then, war, death, the nightmarish past. In this moment of safety, the eye of the storm in their lives, Ed felt himself let go.

Roy started when a single finger traced his jaw, barely ghosting over his neck before other digits were employed to undue the buttons of his shirt.

"Ed, what are you doing?" He felt his body jolt once more when the other hand brushed boldly over the front of his jeans. The blond turned and licked the shell of Roy's ear with confidence.

"You want to do this now? Here?" The Flame Alchemist sat back, moving away from Ed's body to settle again on the grassy hill. Fullmetal shifted closer to him, one hand closing over Roy's.

"Yes, now. Yes, here." He moved into the brunette's lap, making his excitement known as he moved his hips against Roy's.

"We're outside." The former general retorted, Ed laughed.

"I know we are." A hand snuck out and trailed down Flame's bare stomach. "Come on, Roy…" Fingers made short work of the front button and zipper, diving between flesh and cloth to stroke boldly. "…what do I have to do?" For a time, his companion's sharp groans were the only answers he got. Then Roy stilled his hand.

"Not here."

"What?" Ed blinked as the brunette began running his palms over the grass beneath them.

"I said not here. Come on." He stood up, taking only a brief moment to adjust the front of his jeans before seizing Edward's hand.

"Where are we going?" Roy brought them to the bottom of the hill, to the place where the vast lawn belonging to the Rockbells became the small slope they had just descended, a small curve in the earth peppered with clover.

"This will do." His fellow alchemist crouched down beside the cluster of small plants, bringing the blond to sit beside him. "You see? That grass was too scratchy, this will be softer." Ed chuckled.

"Very thorough, colonel," He said with a smirk. Roy helped him around into the center of the clover patch, back facing the small hill.

"I believe it's brigadier general." The brunette wrapped an arm around Ed's waist, guiding him gently backward.

"More like, 'retired,' Mustang." Fullmetal retorted. He shivered when the cool grass tickled his bare back.

"That goes for you, too." Roy slid his arm out from under Ed and quickly discarded his shirt.

"I like to think of myself as more of a drop-out. But either way, it's a good thing we left. Situations like this can be called fraternization. I could have lost you your job."

"Yes, indeed you could have." They shared a smirk. Roy decided to end their conversation on that note, kissing Ed soundly and getting to work removing those teasing leather pants that had come to fit him so well.

--

Two fingers, three, just like before. Ed could only gasp, could only reach out blindly and cling to Roy in desperation, already begging him to reward his bravery. The ache from before was persistent, a dull bite that nagged and pestered his sweaty flesh, a spark of doubt in a sea of earth-shattering sensation.

He listened to Roy breathe, listened and heard his own pants echoing him, synchronized. They were close, exposed skin almost didn't feel naked for the heat, dampness, and pulse from the body so nearby.

The shocks of pleasure had him arching up and away from the cool ground, had him driving his hips forward against Roy's hand. Still, the pain remained, now a voice that spoke of regrets to come against the euphoric state of his awareness.

He was suddenly empty, cold, and fearful. He heard himself speak, he called for Roy, called him and dug his nails into his back, shaking, forgetting where they were, what the time was, everything.

Roy was saying something, lifting Ed's legs, leaning down to kiss him in a rushed, desperate way that the blond was unfamiliar with. The closeness was suffocating, beautiful, and the proximity made them realize that they were alive.

Ed would have screamed, but his voice was gone. It was nothing like being cut with a blade, like being punched in the stomach or getting automail attached, but it was an alarming and precise flavor of agony, and it wasn't physical alone.

He hadn't cried in ages. Not since he thought that his brother was gone for good, but it wasn't the same. They were not the tears of mourning.

Roy's voice caressed his mind with words that had no meaning, only sound, the soft texture of that voice that knew him and touched him so easily. A finger brushed over his damp cheeks and those dark eyes appeared above him, pained, beautiful. He began to pull away.

"Don't…" They clung to each other. Roy nodded slowly, kissing Ed's forehead. The tears stopped yet the feeling lingered, sinking down into his chest, receding as he felt, stretched, burned.

Ed didn't trust his voice when that fire erupted in his body, but there was no alternative. Dimly he hoped that Roy knew, that he saw that he had succeeded. The next thrust told Ed that his reaction had been noted. There was hardly room in his mind for Ed to be grateful. This movement, this acceleration of heartbeat, this heat, and pain, and sound, and Roy, Roy…Roy…

The brunette wrapped his arms around Ed's waist, pulling him forward into his lap, hands gripping his hips firmly. Even closer, somehow closer, more intimate than Ed ever thought humans could be. But he was sharing it, experiencing it, he had come to this place and he'd come there with Roy.

He moved with him now, pressed as close as he could, ignoring so many frantic signals conveying pain, pleasure, strain, to focus solely on the feeling of wholeness enveloping the rest of his senses, that strange and profound sense of belonging, a new sanctuary.

Roy had his eyes shut, head slightly lowered as he let Ed finish everything, let him continue on a crash coarse of over one hundred miles per hour that every drop of blood in his body followed with a will, racing to keep up, to last, and finally he was able let go as a hollow scream fought its way out from Ed's constricted throat.

--

Roy had barely been able to tug up his jeans before collapsing on the soft ground beside Edward, lying close, an arm draped over the blond's chest. He feel asleep in an instant.

The sun was high in the sky, midday, noon.

It took Ed awhile to come back into himself, to become a single entity with its own thoughts and cares outside of blind feeling alone.

He rolled over to lie against Roy's chest and cried silently. Because it had hurt, because it had been terrifying, and because it was over. Because he wanted it still, wanted Roy, and to know that he too was wanted. He buried his face in the brunette's neck.

In those minutes that spent awake, alone, Ed absorbed the loss of his virginity and the raw essence of it all. How strained and tense it had all been, yet how pleasurable and elating. He realized then that he was happy, a strange sense of completion numbing the rest of his overactive mind.

Breathing in Roy's scent, he let his last sob die in a choked shudder, welcoming the sting in his eyes as they dried. He burrowed closer to his companion.

"Thank you," He said. "Thank you so much, you were so gentle, thank you so much." And he too succumbed to sleep.

--

TBC

As to this lemon, know that I don't mean that it was in any way a bad experience. I just think that for someone who's as disconnected with himself as Edward, someone who can be so physically awkward and naïve, (not to mention the fact that he's 17 in this) losing his virginity would be…a big deal. Also, I don't believe that sex for the first time is ever perfect, painless, or in any way stress-free. I do believe that it can be a really amazing experience, however, and I hope I showed that it was for Ed and Roy. I encourage questions and comments!