"Max Payne and the Holy Grail"

Part 2

By Joseph "Maniac" Cirillo III

When last we left Max he was asked by God to find the grail and return it to it's rightful place, the Richard M. Nixon Presidential Library. So now we take you back to Max where his quest has just started.

Max walks through the dark alleys, opening dumpster after dumpster.

Max: Grail you in here? (closes dumpster)

Max checks another dumpster.

Max: Grail you here? Damn. (closes dumpster) I figured I'd be back home in time to watch "Will and Grace".

Suddenly a thug with a gun showed up.

Thug: It's Payne!

Thug shoots at Max, the bullets went right through him not scratching him at all. Max quickly draws his berretta and filled the thug with bullets, killing him.

Max: Well, looks like this Prophet can't be killed. That might come in handy later on.

Max continued searching the alleyways of New York. Why Max decided to keep searching New York for the Grail where it would most likely be somewhere in the Middle East is a question we won't ask, Max probably doesn't know what the Middle East is.

Another thug popped out of the alleyway, this one appeared to be high on crack. Max drew his pistol at the doped up punk.

Max: Where's the Grail?

Cokehead: (In a French accent) Um…peaze monsieur. I mean vous no…how do you say…harm. Pleeze go zee my comrades at this address.

The cokehead handed Max a business card with an address on it. The business card said in big bold letters "Jaques Crack Shack" and listed an address. Max lowered his weapon and headed for the address.

Max walked up to the building and knocked on the door. The crackhead doorman answered.

Doorman: (Also in a French accent) Allo? Who es et?

Max: I want to talk to Jaques. I'm Max Payne and I've been charged by God to search for the Holy Grail. If you let me in I won't tell the cops about your crackhouse here.

Doorman: Well okay I'll ask him but I don't think he'll bee verry keen, we've already got one.

Max: Show it to me?

Doorman: Of course not! You are English!

Max: I'll show you English!

Max drew his pistol at the door and shot through it killing the doorman. Then he kicked the door down and entered a room full of doped up crackheads and French flags. The crackheads fired their pistols at Max but each one didn't hit him.

Max: My turn, burn in Hell!

Max let out a stream of fire, killing all the crack addicts in the room. Then he reloaded his pistol and headed upstairs.

Max: Where are you Jaques? I've come for the Grail!

Max looked down the hallway to see a very small Frenchman on top of a very tall throne, he was holding up a white flag.

Jaques: (In a French accent, go figure right?) Pleeze, pleeze Monsieur Payne, do not keel moi. It ees bad vor businees. I do not hav zee Grail you seek. My doorman is an ediot, I'm very glad you keeled him.

Max cocked his gun.

Max: Then give me a reason why I shouldn't kill you right now!

Jaques: Allright allright! I surrender! Here!

Jaques tossed the French flag over to Max.

Jaques: Just don't kill me!

Max pulls the trigger and shot Jaques in the foot.

Max: Learn to stand up for yourself!

After doing much searching through the crackhouse and finding nothing but French flags, Max decided the Grail was not there. So he burned all the flags and left without a clue where to go next.

To be continued…