Note: Bobo X7 fan fiction. Again we are treated to a secret that only Sulia York is letting us know about a juicy secret. Ever wonder about Torpedo Girl ? Well she plays the role ! She tells all about how insane her part becomes at times but work is never boring...but wasn't Torpedo Girl supposed to have been killed in episode 40 ?

"Cuz I'm a TORPEDO !"--Torpedo Girl

"Torpedo ! Torpedo ! Torpedo !"--Torpedo Girl laughing

"That's how she laughs ?", Beauty about Torpedo Girl's laughter

"Show them what you've got inside your hearts !"--Carl, our new choir director

"Blood."--I said this very quietly in response

Chapter 1—Behind the Great Gams

Of course you have probably known me as the lady who works on and off scene on Bobobo, but did you ever wonder who donned the costume of the notorious, sultry and deadly Torpedo Girl costume. Wonder no more. That lady is me, Sulia York ! I had been trying to keep the secret under wraps until I started getting fan mail about Torpedo Girl. A lot of the men had complimented the actress who played that role of having "great gams". I'm a lady, and at the risk of sounding potentially lesbian, I agree. She does have great gams !

But I digress. The woman who wears that costume is me ! I know, it seems strange, but now that my secret is out, there are fans who come up to me and ask me for Torpedo Girl's buzz phrase or her signature laugh. But nothing compares to the strange people I meet that want to date Torpedo Girl. That's right, I said date. There are some things I do and some things I simply do NOT do. Dating in costume is one of them, and many of the obsessed fans understand this. However, I had a horrible experience with one guy who demanded I would go out on the town with him in costume. For a while, this wacko stalked me. I was so afraid that I finally had to hire bodyguards and ask for police to watch me 24-7. Being Torpedo Girl isn't all fun and games, but I do enjoy playing her role. After all, how many women can say they played the part of a torpedo in their acting careers ?

Chapter 2—Love Happens

You never know what might occur on the job, or off of it in my business. I haven't been invited to any talk shows yet, but I have a feeling either Mr. O'Brian or Mr. Leno will give me a call. I wouldn't cound on Mr. Letterman giving me the time of day, but you never know. People in the world of showbusiness, sometimes

they completely surprise you. In fact, I have a story about such an occasion.

I was going out to dinner with a fan in my costume, and believe it or not, the date went sensationally. The guy that was with me didn't ask me any strange questions or begging me to do perverse things I would never do anyway. He was very polite, very kind. Then I learned he was one of the voice actors on another anime that Toon Disney was airing. He and I became instant friends and he wanted to see the actress behind Torpedo Girl. So he got to see me, all dressed up, makeup, jewerly, the whole nine yards. I usually don't go all out like that, but he was taking me to an extremely fancy restaurant so I had to look good.

I wasn't expecting Derek and I to get along so well, but we had so many things in common. It didn't matter if he came from a rival company because it was obvious that we were falling for each other. Derek was always the gentleman. He even holds the door open for me wherever we go, and pulls a chair out for me at the table before we eat dinner. What's even more incredible was he was able to get his buddies that work on Mr. Letterman's show to allow me a spot and to be interviewed. I'm sure Mr. Letterman would've allowed me to have a spot on his program (with or without my constant pestering).

Derek always takes me home from our incredible evenings and gives me a kiss goodnight before he says goodbye. I'm sure plenty of paparazzi hounds have taken photos of us together, but it really doesn't matter. Derek and I were a couple, sure, but we weren't doing anything provocative. If the Enquirer was looking for a story, they'd have to look somewhere else.

Chapter 3—Insanity All Around

Outside of work, Derek visits me when taping is through, but the insanity begins once all the cast members arrive on the set. Our director, Mr. Maximillian Truart, or "Duh Buoss" as I call him, is abysmally anal retentive. I'm serious when I say a little bit of yoga couldn't mellow him out a bit. If the slightest mistake was made in the script, or if scenery wasn't up to his standards, every one of us, particularly the extras, had to stop what we were doing and make changes before we started the film rolling again. I didn't see how the tiny mistkaes would transfer onto small screens everywhere, but perhaps the acutely keen eye would've seen the tiny errors and sent us oodles of hate mail. Suffice it to say, I, nor anyone else on the Bobobo cast set has received one hate mail about mistakes. We don't hardly get hate mail at all. There are those who write to us who say our creator was probably smoking some really good petchule to write this sort of off the wall comedy, but he doesn't do hypnotic drugs. He doesn't even drink alcoholic beverages. So please, if you are considering writing a letter about how you believe the show is written by a bunch of crack or heroine addicts, put the pen down. Put it down. That's right. Slowly. Gently. Put down the damned pen !

Beyond working are arses off for Mr. Truart, God love him, we like to unwind. Sometimes, you can find us in unusual locales like down in South America in the rainforests or perhaps in Province, France. Yes, we go

everywhere. Wherever the anime cons are held, we attend. We love to appease the fans, and boy oh, boy do we ever have fans. Sometimes, my beau, Derek, comes along with me. All those involved with anime programs, or anime-inspired programs like Team Galaxy, Winx Club, Martin Mystery, Totally Spies, Code Lyoko, among many others were getting rave responses. My beau had been involved in a couple of those shows, but he's most frequently featured in Powerpuff Girls Z, which hasn't even debued in the United States yet. I've heard his version of Ace (of the Gang Green Gang). Oooooh, uber sexy ! Fangirls, be warned. Upon hearing his version, I myself nearly liquified into goo. But I retained my composure. I wouldn't be surprised by once the English version arrives in the States that Derek will have more fangirls but I would always be his one and only.

Besides, I wasn't the jealous type. No need to be to be because my love was devoted and I had a job I could bank on. Besides my health and dental were top notch and there's a stellar gym to keep all of us in shape.

Whatever the job, on or off screen, I am consistently busy. How do you think I manage such a great figure ?

Chapter 4—R & R

Of course, after a long week (or in this case it was a long month), Duh Buoss decided we needed a vacation for a while. We would be away from fans and secluded from the busy cities we had stayed in currently. I could hardly wait to go to The Philipine Islands. Even the actors and actresses from Toon Disney were coming along so I would be with my love. First thing I thought of was seeing him in those hot Hawaiian surfer shorts of his hanging 10 on his board, but that would have to wait. As for me, I was looking forward to shooting the curl right alongside him.

When we arrived in The Phillipines, we were greeted by hundreds of locals professing how elated they were to see us. They must've heard about us somehow. But, thank GOD none of them were otaku. It was so refreshing to be away from otaku for once in our lives.

After we were shown our rooms and given the tour of where we would be enjoying our vacation, the first thing I wanted to do was break out my surfboard and bikini. Since Mr. Truart was already long gone and the other employees were probably enjoying themselvessomewhere among the many shopping malls, eating facilities and heaven knows what else. So, I took that as my cue to head out to the beach and soak up some rays. Derek, obviously had the same idea.

I nearly collapsed when I saw Derek in those swim trunks for the first time, but as usual, I retrained my graceful composure and joined him in the ocean. The salty water was pleasant until it got in your eyes. We could only stay for a short amount of time before we had to return to the showers and wash our eyes out.

After irrigating the last grain of salt from our eyes, Derek and I enjoyed a romantic dinner at one of the local restaurants. We were able to enjoy the culture, entertainment and beauty of the scenery and people we met.

But before we knew it, we had to return home. It felt like we had only stayed for a few days when in actuality, we had been in the Phillipines for a couple weeks.

Epilogue

As I have said, nothing is ever normal where I work and you never know what to expect on the job. Sometimes you see employees walking in with surgical masks on or dressed as escapees of a psychiatric ward.

But that is what makes my job enjoyable. Being Torpedo Girl has really opened up a new world to me. Granted there are some nerds in it, but it's really cool. I can bring so much joy into one person's life just by saying "CUZ I'M A TORPEDO !", in my loudest, sassiest voice possible. Yeah, sure, my job has hazards, maybe more than others but at least it is never boring. I have interesting and incredible co-workers, who are just as crazy as you think they would be. But, being crazy really helps I think. Makes the show more believable.

Well, now that my secret is out, please don't come looking for me when I'm in my costume and shoot me out of a cannon. Sulia don't play that. If you do, my boss will kill you and that isn't a figure of speech. Just remember, no wild stunts, no strange requests, and no personal injury and we're in like Flynn. That's all you should know, except for if you come to the set, watch your step, and be prepared to enter the Insanity Zone.

Mad Ravings of Sulia York

September 25, 2006