Thank you all, so much! I really do appreciate each and every one of you. :)
Chapter 29
Winter 1970
By the time Mary had composed herself and went back to the library, Anna remembered who she was. However, it still had broken her heart. The rest of the day, Mary found herself removed from everything. Even as she told the children and grandchildren goodbye, she could only think about Anna forgetting her.
Maebh had arrived a little before dinner. She assisted in giving Anna a bath and then Mary told her she could help Anna get dressed for bed.
As she braided Anna's hair, a tear slipped down her cheek. Anna turned and placed her hand on her cheek. She stepped forward and kissed her lips.
"Love, why are you crying?" Anna asked, as she stepped back. Mary covered Anna's hand with her own and she closed her eyes, enjoying the feel of Anna's fingertips on her skin.
"I'm alright," Mary whispered. "I'm with you."
Anna's lips curled upwards. "And I'm with you. I'll never leave you."
Mary felt her chest tighten, but she still softly smiled at Anna. "Always."
1920s Downton Abbey
They had overslept. Mary poked her head out of her bedroom and glanced down the hallway, as Anna quickly put on her shoes behind her. She needed to make sure that Anna could make it back upstairs, to go downstairs, without being caught. They were generally very good about the logistics of everything. Both of them understood the implications that could arise if they were caught.
"Mary!" Her sister's voice shocked her. She quickly stepped out of her room and closed the door behind her.
"Sybil?" It was rare to see her sister in the house at this hour.
"I didn't expect to see you up this early. I had to drop the girls off with Nanny. Tom has that meeting with you and I have to be in Ripon within an hour."
"What for?" Mary was genuinely curious. Plus this gave Anna time to gather anything she needed from the bedroom. There was a loud crash in her room and Mary's eyes widened.
"Mary…is someone in your room?" Sybil saucily asked, wiggling her eyebrows.
"What? No!" Mary exclaimed. Her hand fell to the knob of her door, as though she was trying to keep Sybil from trying to open it.
"I won't tell anyone," Sybil whispered. "Not Mama or Papa, anyone," she added with a wink. "Come on, who is it? Is it one of the footmen? Who says you can't have a little bit of fun?"
"Sybil!" Mary chastised, though she did laugh. She realized she would have to play this off well as to not raise suspensions. "No, I do not have a footman or any man in my bedroom. Something must have fallen over."
Sybil twisted her lips. "Oh alright, well I will see you later today. Keep a special eye out on my girls while I'm away."
"I will."
Mary watched as Sybil disappeared down the hallway, before she walked back into the room. She found Anna sitting sheepishly on her bench.
"I'm sorry," she whispered. "I tripped over the chair and it toppled over."
"It's alright. It was only Sybil," Mary assured her, as she went to sit next to Anna. "Are you alright?" Her hand went to rest on Anna's knee. Her heart began to race in her chest. She wanted to feel more of Anna, but she kept herself under control. Instead, she removed her hand and sat up, forcing herself to act like a lady.
"I'm fine," Anna promised her. Anna leaned over and kissed Mary's cheek. "Now I best get going."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Like she did on most days, Anna walked into the nursery to see the children. She peeked into the cot where Pippa laid and her arms ached to pick her up. But she knew that she had to be careful with showing her attentions towards her. To everyone else, she was only Johnny's mother.
Johnny saw her immediately and rushed to her, grabbing her hand. He tugged her toward the blocks, where he and the other children were playing. Anna bent down to sit with him and he climbed into her lap. He was such a loving little boy. She pressed a kiss to the top of his blonde locks.
"Anna," Nanny said, picking up Aisling from her cot. "I need to take Master George, Miss Sybbie, and the baby downstairs to grab something. Would you mind staying with Miss Pippa?" There was something in Nanny's expression that gave way that she knew. Anna nodded.
"I would love to."
Nanny inched forward and patted Anna's shoulder, giving her a knowing look. "I have been around many children and their mothers. I know a mother's love." Nanny then stood up straight and adjusted Aisling in her arms. "No one will ever hear anything from me."
Before Anna could even thank her, Nanny had gathered the other children and left.
A grateful sigh passed through Anna's lips. Having Nanny in on this secret would make it easier to spend time with Pippa throughout the day. Part of her wondered just how much Nanny knew of Pippa's parentage. She had noticed the bruises on her face after that fateful night, perhaps she had put the pieces of the puzzle together. But Anna never would really know.
"Mummy, play!" Johnny asked for her attention. Anna smiled down at him and then lifted up the blocks.
"Should we build the blocks and then cuddle with Pippa for a little bit?"
"Yes! I love our baby," Johnny happily told her.
"I do too, Johnny."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Mary finished up her meeting with the tenant, her father, and Tom. She wanted to change into something more comfortable and then go out with Anna and the children for a late picnic. She hadn't had a chance to see the children yet today. It was weird to her to think of a Mary who may have barely spent much time with her children, but it was the norm for women like her. She was expected to spend the hour before dinner with her children with some visits throughout the week, if she wanted them, and special occasions. She was grateful that Anna had introduced her to a world where the children were a main part of her day. She couldn't imagine what she might have missed out on.
Turning the corner, Mary saw Anna. She lit up and quickened her pace.
"Hello," Mary brightly greeted. Anna met her eyes and gave a small smile.
"M'lady," Anna answered with a nod of recognition. Mary was always impressed at how well Anna could switch from maid to her…whatever she was when they were alone. Anna never mistakenly called her Mary when they could potentially be in earshot of anyone else. She was always the professional.
Mary, however, struggled with this. She wanted to be able to go right up to Anna and touch her every time she saw her. She wished she could kiss her and hold her cheek tenderly in her hand.
In some ways, Mary knew it was easier that their relationship was a secret. It would never be accepted. Mary wouldn't deceive herself of that. They would forever have to live in the shadows. It was a sacrifice she was willing to make. She only hoped that Anna did too. Mary loved Anna so deeply and all she wanted was for Anna to be happy.
She walked closer towards her and darted her hand out, brushing her fingers over Anna's knuckles. It was done impulsively; she couldn't help herself. She needed to feel Anna's skin against her own.
Anna was the professional, just quickly glancing at her and giving a small smile, before heading back downstairs to grab their picnic basket for the day. Mary watched as she walked away. Once she walked out of her eyesight, Mary turned and went back into her room.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Sybil stood at the corner. Were her eyes deceiving her? Had she just witnessed her sister touching her lady's maid in an intimate manner? Her head tilted to the side. Then she thought back that morning to the sound in Mary's room. Mary had acted strangely, giving away that there was, in fact, someone in her bedroom. However, perhaps she hadn't been lying about a man being in her room, because it hadn't been a man.
She had noticed the close bond between Mary and Anna. Mary had even brought back Anna's child to raise as her own.
Needing to know for sure, Sybil walked to Mary's door and knocked. It opened a second later and Mary greeted her warmly.
"Ah, Sybil. Come on inside."
Sybil entered her big sister's bedroom, before chewing on the corner of her lip.
"I need to ask you something," Sybil carefully began. "You did have someone in your bedroom this morning, didn't you?"
"Sybil, I don't know…"
"It was Anna."
Sybil saw Mary's face pale, before she forcibly chuckled and shook her head.
"No, why would you even…."
"It was," Sybil just said. "It is alright. You can tell me. I won't tell a soul."
Mary seemed to contemplate this statement. Sybil had already proven that she could keep a secret. But she knew this was a dangerous secret, one that if it got put in the wrong hands could destroy both her sister and Anna.
"So, not like sisters?" Sybil playfully tried.
"Well, not like you and I are, that's for sure," Mary replied, her cheeks blushing. "You really can't tell anyone, Sybil. If this got out…." Mary was starting to panic now, so Sybil grabbed her hands and gave her a loving smile.
"No one will know, Mary. I think it's quite beautiful, actually," Sybil then said.
"You do? You don't find it repulsive?"
"Two women who lost their husbands tragically falling in love? What's repulsive about that? And I know you love her. You, Mary Crawley, wouldn't take such a calculated risk if you didn't," Sybil added with a wink.
"I do."
"Then I am happy for you. Truly. You'll have to be more careful," Sybil then said. "I caught you touching her hand in the hallway."
"Yes, we will. Could you imagine if Mama or Papa found out? Or Carson?"
"He'd likely die of a heart attack right then and there."
"He would," Mary nodded. "Or Edith!" Mary's hand flew over her face. "She would use it against me. I just know she would."
"She won't know. No one will know," Sybil promised, yet again. "Unconventional loves can be the best ones."
"Yes, but Anna and I will never be able to be like you and Tom, Sybil. We will always have to remain hidden."
Sybil pursed her lips. "You will, but times could change."
"Perhaps, but I don't believe that will be any time soon."
"No," Sybil had to agree.
"I have to change now. Anna and I are taking the children for a picnic."
Sybil smiled. "Enjoy your time."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"Sybil knows," Mary said, the moment they were alone by the pond. Anna had Pippa cradled against her chest, kissing the top of the baby's dark curls.
"Knows what?" Anna questioned.
"About us."
"What?" It was now Anna's turn to panic. "I…."
"Shh, darling," Mary soothed, touching Anna's cheek with the back of her hand. "She won't tell anyone. Sybil actually thinks it's lovely."
"She does?"
"Yes, but she also knows how dangerous it would be if it got out. I promise that if I believed we were in any danger, I would already have us on a train to somewhere safe."
Anna let out a shaky breath. "I…I believe you. I trust you."
"Mummy, Aunt Mary, look!" Their attentions were turned to Johnny who was showing George how to pick a flower.
"What a good big brother you are," Mary doted, walking over toward Johnny. She bent over and kissed his temple.
"Should we call him George's brother? What if he says something to the wrong person?"
But Mary only shrugged her shoulders.
"I'll deal with that. But they are brothers, are they not?" Anna grinned.
"Yes, they are. Our boys and our little girl."
"The perfect unconventional family."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
When they arrived back at the house, Mary noticed cars out front. She wondered what was going on. Not wanting to bring any extra attention to her, Anna, and the children today, she asked for Anna to bring the children in through the downstairs.
She then made her way up front. The car drove away, so whoever was here was already inside. Mary couldn't recall being told about any visitors coming to Downton. And last she heard, Edith was still supposed to be away for a couple more months.
Entering the front door, she was surprised to find Tony Gillingham standing there, just waiting for her. It was unnerving. She twisted her lips.
"Tony, what are you doing here?"
"Your mother invited me."
To be continued...
