Chapter 7 New Directions

"Could you carry these to the stream please?" Katara gestured to the stack of used dishes the others had left behind. Just a few minutes ago, Aang had left with Toph for another earthbending lesson. Zuko, with a silent shrug, rose to gather them, lost in thought. He'd kept out of the discussion Katara had had with her brother until just moments ago. The amount of concern Katara had shown for Sokka had baffled him somewhat.

He couldn't recall ever experiencing anything like this between a brother and sister. Sokka had had to tell her exactly in what areas he'd go hunting in and he'd had to promise to stay clear of any suspicious cracks in the ground. Her pleas and demands had lacked the slippery quality he'd remembered from Azula's performances. They had been rough and even a bit unreasonable. The honesty had shone through all along, there had been no intent of deceit, no underhanded goal to be achieved, it was plain concern showing through, nothing more, nothing less.

Upon arriving at the shallow brook, he realized that he had spent the whole journey thinking about it. Katara had already knelt down and started to wash things, using her waterbending. Not knowing what to do, Zuko piled the things next to her and sat down cautiously, waiting.

"So…" He looked up at the sound of her voice. "... I thought to heal the last few of your injuries, we never did get round to finishing them last time and, given everyone else is busy, now's as good a time as any to finish up" she finished with a meek shrug, awkward in its movement.

"I guess." Zuko said reluctantly, uncomfortable at the prospect of letting her anywhere near him. He knew deep down that it was reasonable, and that he could only stand to benefit from healing. Still, the mere thought of being touched, by anybody, caused his hairs to rise.

Right now though, Katara was still busy cleaning dishes with him, blissfully unaware of his inner torment, but he knew that this content silence wouldn't last long. With his eyes, he kept track of her movements, their fluidity and grace having a somewhat calming quality about them. She didn't need any help, her bending helped her get the job done efficiently, and right now she was too lost in thought to think of including him in the process, probably too used to managing alone. He listened to her quiet humming, the melody foreign to his ears. Then, abruptly the sound broke off.

"Zuko, how can you help around camp? I just realized, I have no clue what you could possibly know to do and we never really asked." She said, embarrassed at the group's oversight.

His golden eyes were staring at her unblinkingly for a moment before he turned away, not to look up again. He seemed lost in thought. She decided to give him time, finishing up the dishes quietly, then focussing her attention on him once more.

"Alright let's start. Please take off your shirt." He flinched at that, but complied wordlessly a moment later. The slight shaking went unnoticed by her.

"Let's start with your throat. Okay? Does it hurt?" Zuko didn't grace her with a reply, only shifting uncomfortably under her gaze, obviously unsettled by the intimacy of the healing.

Katara still remembered the reaction from last time she had tried. Back then, when she hadn't known it was him. The moment when he had lost control and looked at her, wide eyed, it had been the moment she had finally seen the scar, face freshly washed and bound to be recognized.

He had refused her healing then, even though talking must have hurt like hell. He hadn't wanted her near his throat, rather choosing to let it heal on its own than allowing this kind of proximity, to be this vulnerable.

"May I?" she asked.

00000

Talking indeed hurt. And he knew his voice was in a bad shape from the events that had taken place between capture and rescue, his voice sounded as bad as it felt, so bad that the group hadn't even recognized it anymore. It still gave out in the middle of saying something, only to crack back into existence a syllable later, sometimes making it hard to communicate, to be understood. Talking also caused random coughing fits, making him wheeze for air. It was bad, almost worse than being choked, not that he needed any reminders of how that felt like.

Last time she'd offered, he had panicked somewhat. Though that had also been fear of being recognized. Or rather, fear of what they would do if they did. Well, they had, and here she was, offering again, asking. And he didn't know what to do.

His throat hurt, yes, and healing could reduce that pain, possibly making it easier to breathe again. Healing would also mean that she'd have her hands around his neck, and after his other experiences of being in that situation… an involuntary shudder ran down his back, his mind lost briefly in memory.

Then again, the coughing fits betrayed any illusion that he had of the feeling of breathing freely, plus, until now, everyone had stopped the choking before he'd been dead, though he might have fallen unconscious before once or twice, he blasély thought, as though such actions were normal. He didn't really remember; Everything about his time at the market square blurred together. Although the subject hadn't been exactly uncommon beforehand, he had learnt in the palace that it was easier to try to suffocate a child than using the more traditional methods of poison or weapons to kill.

He never knew if his body would stop early enough, once the coughing started. Theoretically, he knew she wouldn't choke him, she'd try to make it better, not worse. The fear was irrational, internal, ingrained; it was still there though. He supposed he should try to let her at least. It simply was the most reasonable choice. He didn't have to like it. Also, his hands were free now, if he wanted to, he could put an end to it, he would be able to do so.

"Fine, but you will stop if I say so!" he hadn't actually realized in advance that it had come out as an order. He knew he was in no position to demand, but she didn't seem to mind right now, she merely nodded and then slowly raised her hands, the water already glowing in that ethereal blue light. Ah well, his voice did sound pathetic, any power the words might have had, lost, so the choice of language probably had been excused.

He felt the water touch his skin and sink through slowly. He hadn't gotten used to that feeling at all, and was still unsure on how to feel about it. Her hands were lightly placed around his neck, barely touching. It felt different than those hateful hands that had been around it before, for the purpose of inducing pain and fear.

Still, the experience was far from pleasant. He could feel the healing liquid sink in deeper and surround his airway. She hardly moved and he realized that this kind of bending was very different from the kind they all used to fight. She was bending with her mind, probably keeping the connection only by skin contact over her hands. He could feel his pulse against her fingers and saw that she had actually closed her eyes, brows furrowed deep in concentration.

He felt the liquid run through his system, never hindering, never forceful. Supporting, mending, clearing, collecting. He realized that he had held his breath and tried to shakily release it, focusing on breathing in and out for the moment. He felt relief also in the fact that the water didn't seem to obstruct his airways at least.

He could feel the presence of her bending within. While non-threatening, it was still there. He still felt her control spread out, searching. Reaching. It was there, on the inside of his throat, he felt it around his vocal chords, soothing the dry, parched ache that had been sitting there.

He noticed himself shuddering, shaking. Staring at her wide eyed, he found himself heaving, too aware of the rise and fall of his own chest. He felt, realized, connected wasn't only the water that had sunken into his skin, no, the large part might actually have been his blood, resonating with her, enhanced by the glowing liquid around her hands.

"Zuko? Are you alright?" he felt her pull back, releasing his neck a moment later. There was concern in her eyes, big and blue as they were. He looked aside, focusing on calming his breathing, still overly aware of the feeling she had left in his throat. Too close, too personal, invasive. It felt weird without the pain, like she had taken something that had become part of him.

"Zuko?"

He froze, then slowly looked up.

She searched his eyes. "Can you manage?"

Zuko felt the lapse in his reaction, only registering what she had said after an awkward moment. He had even drifted off with his gaze again. Slowly he nodded, not trusting his voice with how shaky he felt.

He still felt the essence of her healing cling to him inside and it felt too near, too close. He released another held breath, looking at her again, unsure.

"I'm not finished yet, is it okay if we continue?" He didn't answer, didn't know how. He hadn't been ready for anything, but no one had ever asked.

"... Is it okay if we continue?"

Reluctantly he nodded, he had calmed down a bit, he felt.

"Alright…" and her hands reached out once more, the healing water sinking in, reaching out to what was inside. It felt weird, and to distract himself, Zuko tried to focus on how her bending felt and try to find out how she was doing it. It helped keep him grounded. Now that he'd had time to adjust and get used to the feeling, it was a bit easier.

More minutes passed, he ended up acutely monitoring his breathing pattern in an attempt to keep his thoughts away. It worked somewhat too for a while, but now, he could feel her energy gathering around his windpipe.

"So, I've healed all the damage I could find, the only thing remaining would be the mucus. I can help you get rid of it but you'll have to cough it out even so."

Zuko had looked at her, the idea not sounding pleasant in the least, quite the opposite actually. His imagination told him of not getting any air, drawing up the ghost feeling of suffocating already from his memories. He shook his head, unwilling.

"It would be safe, I'll tell you when to cough and help you push out what I gathered before, it would be over quickly." She had gotten so far, she didn't want to stop now.

"Come on, it won't be so bad, you will have to cough it all up at some point anyway, if we do it now we do it thoroughly and also safely. I will count to three, alright?" she started gathering the stuff contaminating his lungs and airways, she wouldn't stop now. Why had he even thought she'd listen?

"One" still collecting, reaching out for more, she picked into the cracks of his vocal cords, cleaning them out.

"Two" she was starting to compress the gooey liquid-like stuff. Then on "Three" she pushed, felt him start gagging, then finally coughing. She pushed as much as she could, helping him along, and also leading his head to the side so he could spit the stuff on the ground.

"Again!" She urged him to cough more, not daring to stare at the mass that had been in his lungs. Parts of it were bloody, while other junks had a sickly greenish-yellowy white colour.

Zuko finally leaned back, heaving when she let go of him. About to rub soothing circles on his back she reached out, but felt the shoulders immediately tense, then Zuko's head turned.

"Don't you dare!" he growled, already sounding a lot more like the Zuko she'd known. He turned around fully, shifting back a bit and holding his legs close. Like they would offer him comfort, a barrier.

"Doesn't it feel better now? This should hold for a while, just give your throat some time to relax and calm down. I should still heal your skin though." She thought to have seen an eye roll before he looked away.

"Do what you must" The words lacked the bite she associated with the voice. The annoyance was still clearly there, but it was a tad subdued compared to before.

She knelt down next to him again, gently situated him, then started healing. She still felt him tense every time she shifted, but they both were growing used to it. His skin was quite damaged, and she faintly wondered what it must have felt like. Her own darker skin never had burned from mere sunlight. Then again, he had appeared to be standing in the open with no cover for days. His back was flaking with old layers of skin, the various scars starkly visible, showing off his starved physique even more. He hadn't really gained any weight yet. Ribs, shoulder blades, as well as his collar bones were sticking out unnaturally. She could feel the spine under her hands and the skin felt oddly fragile, too thin.

He could feel her move down his back, healing some blisters she had missed before, calming the layers as a whole and washing off the shedding skin. He held very still, occasional shivers running through him, it was a very uncomfortable experience.

The impressions her hands recorded faded as she sunk through skin, her senses reaching out once more, tracking down disruptions, unnatural coiling of energy, broken connections. Her hands almost absentmindedly moved along, repairing, soothing. Zuko was tense, but seemed calm, so she continued.

Irritation faded, she felt the flow repaired, cellular structures normalized and swelling disappeared as she moved. Bruises faded and she was glad she would no longer have to look at them. She reached further, following the call mindlessly. She was healing, there was damage calling out. The trail let her continuously move down, especially when the feeling suddenly intensified.

The connection was broken at once, something pushed her to the ground. Startled, she picked herself up to look at an equally shocked expression on Zuko's face.

"Did you really just push me?" She snapped, angry he'd dare to do this, especially when she was just helping him. He had used force, she'd felt it, even if it hadn't hurt that much. She glared at him, seeing him cowering, looking away, clearly ashamed. Determined, she reached out her hand towards him, earning a fearful glance at the first sign of movement. He looked like a frightened animal, afraid of her. What in La's n... She decided to try a calmer tone.

"Zuko? Why did you do that?" It almost hurt her that he had flinched upon her soft words. It was clear that he had no control over these reactions. The Zuko she'd known would never show this kind of weakness, would never show fear. The Zuko she remembered had mindlessly walked into a blizzard with his prize, just because he couldn't let the possibility slip by, even if the circumstances were far from ideal.

He had changed, and the change had not been a good one, the behaviour spoke of expecting the worst, always, no matter the circumstances, like he didn't have a choice. His body just reacted. The hit had surprised her. Ever since they had found him, he hadn't tried to fight back. It was weird that he would do so now, without even being provoked. Well, talking was obviously not working.

"Alright, I'll leave you be, tell me when you're calm again." She said carefully, as if talking to an injured penguin-seal. She was just about to get up and walk away when a soft murmur reached her ears.

"I'm… sorry. I… panicked." He didn't look at her, shifting uncomfortably, drawing his legs close again, not ready to talk. There is an awkward pause where neither of them really moved. Then he spoke again.

"I… I… knew you weren't going to do anything, but I… I'm sorry… I just can't."

"Can't do what?" She gently prodded.

"Can't talk. Can't… You … you were too close to… I'm sorry" She saw a shiver run through him, he kept his eyes low. "May I please have some time alone? I… I… can't…" He really struggled to get the words out, Katara realized. He seemed pretty shaken.

"Fine, just don't wander off, come back to camp when you're ready." She smiled, as she turned away

Katara got up, leaving him at the edge of the stream. It seemed that they wouldn't be able to finish the healing session right now, after all, but they'd gotten a lot done. Walking back, she was still wondering what he had tried to explain. Had he suddenly been overwhelmed by her physical closeness? But he'd been doing alright before, well, he'd panicked too during the healing of his throat, but he hadn't gotten violent then. In fact he hadn't even tried to claw her off, He'd only started breathing weirdly. It just didn't make any sense.

She sighed, busying herself around camp. What had she done to set him off?

00000

Zuko absentmindedly kept his eyes on the stream, barely registering the flowy glittering the water did in the sunlight. He had his arms wrapped around his knees, hugging them close, seeking comfort in the mere ability to fold up like this.

He had known she wasn't going to do anything, he had known so. He hadn't been in control. One mere thought had crossed his mind when her hands had reached the waist line, and he'd reacted. What had he done?

She'd been angry, she had felt threatened. Understandable, he'd attacked her, and he couldn't even tell her why. She'd been helping him, doing something for him, improving his condition, and he'd repaid her by hitting her, pushing her away. Anyone would be angry.

She'd calmed after the initial shouting though. Had she seen the shame? The fear? She'd even approved his request of being alone, alone in the open. Why? They'd made an agreement to keep him under close watch or locked in that shelter. He'd asked for something he knew was off the table. Why had she heeded his request?

He'd thought for sure that she'd insist on him going back there, back to being locked up, if he so wanted to be alone. She hadn't even mentioned it though. She'd just told him to stay where he was and left. Did she disagree with her brother and the group's decisions? He had thought they were pretty closely knit, reliable to each other. Was that not so?

This was so confusing! looking down at his hands, he saw that he had clutched one wrist so hard that it cut off circulation. He hadn't even noticed. Carefully he forced his hand open, he needed to calm down. Monitoring his breathing he tried to get his mind blank.

00000

When Zuko finally re-emerged, he seemed a tad more composed. He came over and asked softly what he should do, not quite looking her in the eye. She set him up for chopping the vegetables she had collected yesterday, which he did after a questioning gaze at the gathered tubers.

Probably wondering about letting him hold a knife, she thought. But really, Katara knew he wasn't stupid, he would never harm her under these conditions, nor would he try to hide a knife, they all knew they'd never tie him up with something burnable, and that ruled out pretty much all kinds of rope that could be cut with a blade.

"So, can you tell me now what that was about?" she gently asked after a while. The reaction was immediate, he tensed.

"Not really." He meekly replied, continuing to avoid her gaze.

"Was it something I've done?" She really wanted to understand and she knew he'd never bring it up, she'd have to prod.

"Er, maybe, not really. I had a thought, I freaked out. I'm sorry…" In an afterthought he added: " I'm sorry for hitting you, too."

"I just want to understand, so we don't have a repeat. To do that, I want you to tell me if something sets you off! Can you at least try?"

He weakly nodded and with that, they sunk into another silence. He held out the chopped vegetables when he was done and she told him to stir them into the pot. Zuko asked what they'd do after lunch, and she suggested laundry, and possibly collecting more firewood. He only nodded and the conversation ceased once more. He seemed more comfortable that way.

Occasionally she checked the fire, but he didn't seem to be messing with it. He seemed absentminded most of the time. She started to pay less attention to him and his doings and focus on the work in front of her. Therefore it surprised her when he spoke again.

"We've been here for a while." His voice sounded hesitant and she threw a glance to see him intently looking at her.

"Yeah, it's been a few days."

"Are you planning to relocate any time soon?" At that, she looked up more closely.

"Ugh, it hasn't come up yet, why?"

"You used to move around a lot more."

"Well, you know why." She was mildly caught off guard that he'd even bring that up, considering his involvement at that time.

"What about now? What about Azula?" He asked softly. Things had been calm, Katara pondered. Azula hadn't found them in the village they were staying at, and she hadn't shown up here yet either. "... I think you should move."

Katara looked up, she hadn't thought he'd ever suggest something like that. He was kind of right though, they'd been here for a while. Still, she wondered.

"Why?"

"Because the longer you stay here, the more likely we will be discovered. And the Ava…, Aang might get captured. Along with all of us."

"I see. I suppose you are right… and we are kind of low on supplies... I just wonder where to…" she added absentmindedly.

"I know the Earth Kingdom pretty well... If you want, I could help." That was another thing she hadn't expected, Zuko offering to help. She wasn't sure what to think of it. Zuko seemed uncomfortable, too.

"I, ugh…" Zuko grabbed his hair in a weary fashion, his hand falling loosely through the messy strands. "just thought of mentioning it. I know I'm not in any position to have any say, and I'm not meaning to. It's just… I saw Sokka's map briefly, it looked really outdated."

"Hmm, yeah, it kind of is… I suppose it wouldn't hurt to hear your thoughts on it. I'll get the map."

She rolled it out next to him and he leaned over to see better, still stirring the pot. He spent a minute or two studying it, then nodded.

"From the village you got me from, which direction did you fly towards? I'm sorry but I was asleep most of the time, I have no idea where we are right now."

"We are about here right now. We flew south-west, back over the mountains."

"What kind of location do you need? You mentioned supplies, I assume you also want a place for Aang to train, and somewhere possible to lay low and get away quickly. right?"

She nodded. "This area is pretty rural, it shouldn't be too hard."

"So the nearest towns are here. This one is close to a trading route, we should probably avoid it. Here is a new village. They made a quarry there and should have a place where they sell supplies. Also, they're high up in the mountains, pretty closed off, and the Fire Nation has no interest in them. Tu Zin is abandoned these days, no point in going there. On the other side of the mountains, a bit higher up, there is another new village, it will be at least a six hour ride though." He intently studied the map, then spoke up again, this time with a question.

"Er, where did you see Azula last time?" He looked at her with a mix of hesitation and expectancy.

"Tu Zin actually. We were there." It ran through Katara's mind that Zuko didn't even know about the attack on his uncle. She supposed now wasn't really the time to tell him though… and anyway, he had left Iroh. He might not even care.

"I see," he replied, and somehow his voice sounded a tad darker than before. "Anyway, she probably moved on, so we're safe for now. She'll have her network relaying info back to her though." He suddenly seemed very tired again.

"Hmm, I suppose. Best bet would probably be that village with the quarry. I'll talk it over with the others." They once more returned to silent contemplation. Then, a few minutes later, Sokka called out, proudly holding up a killed possum-bat. He was immediately sent off to get the others, so they could eat.

Soon they were all sitting around, bowls filled and eating. Sokka was talking about his hunt, as per usual and Aang was silently bearing it, so as to not offend him. Toph was teasing and Zuko was quiet, drawn back. Finally, as the first excitement had died down, Katara chimed in.

"We should move. It's been three days and we need to resupply."

"Hmm, alright. Where's the map? Let's see where we should go." Sokka said.

"Here!" Zuko said quietly, holding it out.

"Katara, why does he have the map? In fact, Jerkface, you should leave. Go to your room!" Sokka stated, his voice slightly raised

Zuko wordlessly moved, but Katara's response made him still again, unsure of what to do.

"Stay!... Sokka, He actually brought the whole thing up, and he's even willing to share his, may I say, up-to-date knowledge of Earth Kingdom geography, so he's staying."

"And you just trust him? For all we know he could be leading us back into a Fire Nation colony."

"Right, as if we wouldn't see that from afar, with all their nice, flashy flags! He actually made some good suggestions. If you'd just listen for once." Their impromptu shouting match had them up in each other's red face.

Zuko had sat down again, looking very uncomfortable, clearly this hadn't been his intent, noted both Toph and Aang.

"Hey, people, please calm down," Aang pleaded. Sokka looked away at that, fuming, but quiet. He then turned around to look at Zuko.

"What are you trying to do, Jerkface? What did you tell her?" he jeered.

"The longer we stay here, the more likely we get discovered." Zuko said softly, barely audible.

"Right, and yet still you've found us every time. We just got Azula off our trail, you could try to get us noticed again for all we know. Don't even try to act as if you're on our side, I'm not buying it, and it's making me angry. You'll just try to lead us back to your insane sister," continued Sokka, his tone becoming snarky.

"I…"

Sokka quickly cut him off. "No, you're not getting any say. You're our prisoner. We're enemies." said Sokka, as if that was the end of it.

"Sokka, he's well aware of that." Katara said in a folly of an attempt at placidiation.

"Then why is he trying to interfere? He has no right. And the only reason I see for him is to get us…"

"I'm trying to help ... " Zuko said loudly, startling them all. His hands were in tight fists in his lap, knuckles white. He took a breath to go on, but Sokka didn't let him speak his mind.

"Trying what? To gain our trust so you can stab us in the back later? Yeah, that sounds like you to me. You're in a weak position now, so you've got the best chance to scout us out. You think I'm not aware of that?" Now Sokka really got going. "Even better when we give you a chance to bring yourself in and gain some trust. I won't let you do it. You won't fool me, so I'm warning you, don't try me!" Sokka ended his speech, breathing elevated and the anger also apparent on his face. Zuko hadn't interrupted again. He wasn't looking up, still gripping the fabric of his trousers, hiding his face by looking downwards, just rooting to wait until Sokka was done. He had seemed to be listening though, and now, after a moment of silence, he did reply.

"Why would I do that? I know what you think of me, you've made it clear before, multiple times. The only thing I gain by talking is your spite." Zuko's voice was bitter, jaded. "It doesn't matter what I say."

He sat still for a moment, then finally sighing. "I'm sorry Katara, but there is no point for me to be here, I'm going back to the room." His hands grew slack, then he tiredly got up once more.

"No, you won't walk away now, we're not done here!" Sokka grabbed his hand, jerking him back. Zuko recoiled, but didn't fight him. He finally looked up though, apprehension evident in his face. Katara angrily pulled Sokka back.

"Leave him alone!"

"Oh, now you're taking his side!"

They hardly noticed Zuko sinking down again, drawing in on himself, leaning his head on his knees and blocking sight off with his wrapped arms.

"I'm not, but what he said made sense, and you're not giving him a chance to explain."

"Yeah, I don't want to hear it!"

"Stop it!" Toph yelled. "This is going nowhere, so cut it out Sokka." They all fell silent and for a moment, only the fire crackling was heard. Zuko grinded the coarse fabric of his shirt between his fingers, clearly agitated. Finally, after another tensing, he looked up, swallowing harshly.

"If anyone of the Fire Nation sees me with you, especially unbound as this. What do you think they'd assume, Sokka?" He was shaking slightly again, but his voice was surprisingly steady. "... It won't matter that I am physically unable to oppose you right now." He sighed, gripping his hair again, letting his fingers slide through the growing strands.

"But Azula is your sister, you're her family." Katara said.

"Yeah, so?... You've met her, right?..." He looked away, expression sad. "I have no allies. The Fire Nation has declared me a disgrace and a traitor. I'm not sure if they'd allow me back now, even if I brought the Avatar... To the Earth Kingdom though, I'm still the Fire Nation Prince, an enemy, just like I am to you.

"I'd have no chance in a fight right now. The Earth Kingdom has already had me, if the Fire Nation gets their hand on me, it won't be pretty either. I've escaped them before, but I wouldn't be able to do so right now."

He buried his head in his hands once more, breathing deeply.

"If the Fire Nation finds you, they find me."

No one spoke as the words sank in; they merely stared at him for a while. Then, Toph finally took word.

"He's been telling the truth, I don't think there's a catch, and I think what he said is pretty reasonable. Why don't we hear him out?"

"Yeah, why not, Sokka?" Aang agreed, tone neutral.

"Ugh… we still shouldn't trust him."

Zuko looked up after a moment of hesitation. "I'm not asking you to…. Your map is outdated, I can fill in some blanks."

00000

They ended up listening closely as Zuko once more explained what he knew. Secretly, even Sokka agreed to what Zuko said in the end, though he'd never have said that out loud. They decided to pack, while Toph and Aang continued their session of earthbending, so they could move later in the day.

Meanwhile, Zuko helped Katara with the laundry, folding the clothes and storing them into their respective packs while she did the washing and drying part. They didn't talk much anymore. Sokka went off preparing the meat someplace where Aang couldn't see him, so it wouldn't go bad on the journey, and later gathered up some other supplies.

It was indeed later in the day, drawing towards sunset, when they finally all sat on the saddle to what they guessed would be about a two to three hour ride, Toph had strategically placed herself next to Zuko.

He once more had his blanket, which they had retrieved from the room before Toph let it sink back into the ground to cover their traces, and he had it pulled tightly over his shoulders, he still had no layer to fend off the cold that made his weakened body shiver easily.

It wasn't long until Toph made her move, scooching closer.

"Hey Sparky, so Sugar Queen says you've got a bit of a scar on your face, let's take a look, shall we?!" She lifted her hand and started reaching out at a fast pace, Zuko, who'd turned towards her when she had first opened her mouth, had followed the hand with his eyes, quickly acquiring a horrified expression. He twisted away before she could touch his face, then quickly searched for somewhere away from Toph in the limited space the saddle presented.

"Hey, don't hide from the blind girl!"

He looked back, seeing that she had stopped her approach, sitting down again.

"Don't just go touching me!" He accused, unwilling. Toph looked put out.

"It's no fair, everyone else can just reach out with their eyes to connect, to see how they look different from other people, what they look like, but if I do it my way, it's impolite."

"You've seen me with earthbending." he responded, more gently this time.

"Yeah, through the dust, how accurate do you think that is? I had a hard time making out that blindfold one time. And no one is willing to smear their face with dirt either, and even then, it's not the same… so please? May I take a look?"

At first Zuko just stared at her, she didn't look towards him, he was startled, not knowing how to proceed. Reluctantly, he finally acquiesced.

"Alright, fine…" Toph brightened up at that and immediately shuffled closer. She reached out more slowly this time, her moves now deliberate but firm. Zuko awkwardly held still when her hands reached his hair. He'd prepared for some tickling, but her touch was not. She spread her fingers over his cheeks, following the cheek bones to his nose, the hand touching his scar did not linger any more than the hand on the other side. He knew so because even though there were still patches of skin on his cheek and eye brow that he had no feeling in. The nerve ends burnt off and not yet recovered, likely never would. Her other fingers moved at the same pace as on his good side. Her little fingers traced his jawline and her thumbs found his chapped lips and he could feel the rough calluses on her fingertips catching on sometimes.

"It's so soft." She moved farther down, gently holding his chin.

"It's not"

"Here it is." He felt her hand move on his good side, pressing lightly. He felt the other hand leave his face, and opened his eyes to see her touching her own face. "As soft as mine"

Her hand found his face quickly again, starting at his hairline this time, the other moving up too. He closed his eyes as she ventured closer and he could feel her thumbs again, this time tracing his eyebrows and then his eyes.

"Can you open that eye fully?"

When he answered, she felt the vibrations of his voice in her hands.

"No"

"Could you describe what you look like?" She asked quietly, now running her fingers through his hair, along his scalp.

"I… I suppose." She'd found his ears and followed them back to the jaw. Still discovering the textures and forms of his face, if she already had the possibility. He started off in a low voice.

00000

The others, well, mainly the Water Tribe siblings, but Aang, who sat on Appa's head also threw a glance now and then, followed the spectacle with interest. Zuko had surprised them all when he acquiesced and let Toph touch his face. It was weird to see. How he held still and they could see him try to relax, try to hold still. At first they hadn't talked a lot, but now, they had barely made out the question, Toph had apparently asked him to describe himself. Their words were hushed, soft, they could hardly hear what he said, only occasionally a word or two. He seemed to be trying to use other words in place of colours, it was kind of cute to see him try to describe something so Toph could actually imagine it. They'd never expected that Zuko of all people would be doing this. But he was, and while he obviously felt uncomfortable, he still let Toph explore until she decided she'd had enough and pulled her hands back.

"Thanks Sparky. I think you look unique, and I like that." Zuko, looking even more uncomfortable at the obviously honest compliment, chose to forgo a comment on it and merely said: "You're welcome." before turning away.

Toph was still asking him questions, and surprisingly he kept answering, even though he at some point had told her that he felt tired. Zuko didn't lash out, he did no evil fire-bending moves, even when Toph obviously started to grate his nerves, and by the end of the flight he'd even asked her a few questions himself. He was quiet afterwards, excusing himself to go to sleep soon after they'd had a mid flight snack. He'd shown them a new side, one they had never even considered existing and they didn't know what to do with the knowledge. They however were tired, and once they laid down, sleep quickly caught up on them, leading their thoughts astray.

00000

Meanwhile, not too far away, but beyond sight, Uncle Iroh's search had led him to another village, this one was rather far off and secluded, but quite lively. After Zuko had apparently announced his identity in that other village, he seemed to have fallen off of the face of the earth and it had been weeks since.

The gates were passed quickly enough and Iroh searched for the market. He also hoped for a soft bed for later, the road being long and barren.

As expected, the market was bustling with life and activity and as he walked around, he listened to the people talk. From what he gathered, there had been a commotion a few days ago, something about an escaped prisoner or something. They made it sound like he was really dangerous and had done horrible things. Apparently, the village's lockdown had just been lifted merely half a day ago without having found anything about his whereabouts.

Iroh was well aware of the properties of rumours and from what he knew about this village, it was no wonder that this had been made a big deal out of.

Strangers were seen with contempt and generally not trusted. Therefore, he wasn't bothered much, as he went his way through the market, making it seem like he was just browsing while listening for any hint of Zuko's whereabouts, keeping his eyes low. Even in this corner of the Earth Kingdom, the golden hue of his eyes would be a dead give away to his origins. He ventured closer to the weaponry stands which he knew Zuko would have loved to look at, at least. Maybe he'd ask a vendor if he'd seen him.

"Say, you don't by chance know anyone here who has a prominent burn scar, do you?"

"Ooh, the only one with a prominent scar that I know of would be Lí. I think he's over there right now. He usually helps out at the food stand, managing the deliveries." the vendor, an old man with a look of concealed shrewdness, pointed somewhere across the market. The fond way he'd talked about that Lí, and the way he spoke of this so unrelatedly to the weapons made Iroh doubt that this Lí was Zuko, but it didn't keep him from hoping that he'd be proven wrong. Quite the opposite, he couldn't help but hope that Zuko had indeed found some peace and had brought forth that kind personality that had been buried so many years ago.

It was then that some weapons caught his eyes, their familiarity immediately bringing up memories. It was a twin dao, carefully displayed next to its sheath, both simple in design. He looked further and found the dagger he was looking for. A shudder, cold as ice, ran down his spine.

"These are some fine weapons, aren't they?" The vendor asked, pleased at the show of interest.

Iroh decided to go along with the game, he had to treat this matter carefully, Zuko had been here, and he'd never ever just part with his weapons, something must have happened.

"The twin dao aren't from around here though, the style strongly resembles weapon smithery from the coast! May I ask how they came into your possession?" Iroh asked conversationally.

"Ah, I see, someone who knows something about weaponry. You are right, these do indeed look like they're from the coast, as for how they found their way to me: The previous owner had somewhat of a disagreement with the town elders and they decided to relieve him of his weapons to pay for the expenses." Iroh interestedly listened, he knew, asking any more would raise suspicion.

"Hmm, what a pity, I do have to take care of some business now, I trust you will still be here later?" Iroh casually inquired.

"Of course."

After exchanging goodbyes Iroh headed off into the direction the vendor had pointed, soon to find said stand. He looked around for familiar faces, one specifically, but the young waiter behind the stand did not resemble him, nor did the people around, the youth was greeting people and socializing while easily keeping up with the orders. Also, Iroh saw no disfiguring scar.

"Hey, you, are you ready to order?" The waiter called over right then, looking directly at him.

"Oh, actually I was looking for someone. The weapon vendor told me I could find him here."

"Ah, and who did old Fu say could be found here?"

"Someone named Lí"

The youth's eyes widened momentarily, then he said: "Fine, uh, my shift ends in half an hour. We can talk then."

He turned back to a new customer, greeting them by name and taking their order. Iroh decided to wait. Further listening to the town's gossip, which still focused on the escape with little variation.

The youth suddenly appeared in front of him. Iroh had taken a little walk and was only now returning. The Youth expectedly looked him in the eyes.

"So, what did you want from me?"

"You are Lí?" Iroh looked him over and only then did he see the hand at Li's side. Li immediately noticed and self consciously held it, shielding it from view.

"Yes, I am. So why'd you search for me?" The pleasant tone seemed slightly strained now and Iroh decided to ignore it.

"I'm searching for someone, you apparently fit the description I gave."

"What description?"

"Someone with a prominent burn scar." Iroh smiled sadly. "He wanted to go out alone, I'm worried he ran into trouble, so I've been tracking him. He's still young, just a bit older than you probably are. But I'm afraid I've lost his trail a few weeks ago, so here I am, searching."

"I… I'm sorry to hear that." Li bowed his head in condolence.

"Ah, It's alright. But since it's confirmed that you are not him, I don't want to take up your time anymore. Thank you for coming to talk to me."

"It's fine, I don't mind, if you're here already, let me show you around."

Iroh was led around the town, Lí would tell him stories to each place, so Iroh ended up sharing a few as well, and when they ended up resting in a serene side alley under a solitary tree that provided shade, the awkwardness had ceased completely.

"May I ask you something? You seem wise." Li said after a few minutes of silence.

"Sure, go ahead."

"Why do you follow this young man? He obviously does not deserve your loyalty from what you told me. What makes him so special?"

Iroh looked Li in the eyes, eyes that spoke of curious sadness. "You know, sometimes you can't see what is buried inside. Sometimes it is because they reject that self, and sometimes it is because someone had to build walls around the ruins by being left alone to fend for themselves. My nephew is like that, fending for himself. I was far away, while he grew up in a poisonous environment, isolated, without love. People were expecting a lot of him and he tried his best, but in the end he could never be enough. His heart was too honest and his morals too strong, and finally, this threw back at him in a most horrible way. He decided to live a different life, to be a different person, the person he really is still surfaces, though, occasionally. Underneath the anger, there still is that lost child that doesn't know how to accept help because no one ever let him learn that help is a good thing. So that is what I'm trying to do, support him from the background until he is ready."

Lí had calmly waited until Iroh had finished, his obvious interest and curiosity was refreshing from the quiet of the road, and the otherwise suspicious sidewards glance that Iroh saw occasionally.

"I see, you see him for who he really is, not for what he pretends to be because he thinks he has to. I recently realized that I, too, am very biased. I suppose it's a problem of society here. I get judged because of my hand," He held it out in the open, displaying the crippled fingers and discolored skin. He continued with a sigh "but it's okay here in this village, where everyone knows me and my limits. Still, the mark warned the people here, too. It makes them afraid and restless, because the Fire Nation is getting closer. I happened to be out of town with my parents when it happened, my family used to trade. They didn't survive. I got away, but when I finally arrived here and went to the healer, they said that they couldn't do much. At least I have the village's support. Here I'm treated well, whereas outside, people only see me as a cripple."

"But you're still angry, aren't you?!" Iroh calmly said.

"Yes, I guess so. I lost my family that day, I lost my ability to work like a normal person. I was really angry at the Fire Nation, still am probably. But I only recently realized how much I still have left. I always feel people staring at my hand, even here in town. I thought about it a lot, people still take me for who I am, and I'm really glad. But now I also feel ashamed that I could just go and do the exact thing that I feared happening to me. That people judge me and only see me for my crippled hand."

"I understand. The Fire Nation took a lot from us, all of us. I don't know what happened to you to realize this, but in the end we are all just people, humans, all want to live. I myself had to lose my son to realize it, I was stubborn and only looked for myself. I never knew what it was like to really lose someone precious until it happened to me; it shifted my world sideways and I had to refind myself."

"I almost burned someone," Li said bitterly. "I was fully intent on showing him, a prisoner who could not harm me in any way, what kind of pain fire would induce. When I saw him, I only saw the Fire Nation and what they did to me. But then, in the end he looked at me, calmly. I think he was even bending the fire so it wouldn't burn him. And I'm glad he did. He told me to put it out. I hadn't even looked at his face before, I hadn't cared, but he looked at me and I saw it.

"He knew exactly what I was talking about, and it was like he was telling me to get over it. The anger I've carried, I think it made me blind to his suffering. I wanted to apologize the next day. But he was gone."

"You are talking about the escaped captive, aren't you?"

"Yeah, I am." Li said quietly, then his eyes widened and he looked up. "Now that I think about it… a scar… that was… the scar, you never told me about the one you searched for… where was it?" Iroh had narrowed his eyes at the reaction, worry flooding him.

"Around his eye…"

The youth shook his head… "No… it can't be… you'd be Fire Nation!" Li opened his eyes and looked at Iroh again. no doubt searching for resemblance now, he abruptly turned away. Only to search out Iroh's eyes once more.

"The prisoner was announced to be the Fire Prince, they even put up a sign to state that at first. He had a scar around his eye and he bent fire." Li locked eyes with Iroh. "If this is truly whom you are searching for, you are too late. He isn't here anymore. No one knows how he escaped, someone must have helped him get outside the city walls at the very least…" Li hung his head, now tiredly, his healthy hand stroked through his bangs, pushing them back.

"I wanted to say sorry, but I guess I can be glad he got away, he probably wouldn't have survived much longer."

"Thank you for telling me." Iroh said after taking a deep breath. "You are kind and you're learning from your mistakes. I think I better go now before people start making connections. When I find him, do you want me to pass a message?"

Li locked eyes with him, expression seriously. "Yes, tell him, I'm sorry."

00000

Iroh, after he had bid Lí farewell, went back to the market and when the stands slowly dispersed and the vendors went home, he scouted for where Fu brought his weapons for the night. He waited until the early morning hours before he made his move, stealing Zuko's weapons and then stealing himself in the pre-dawn light as soon as the gates were open long enough to avoid any suspicion.

When Fu finally noticed, he was in uproar, the news, as always, spread quickly through gossip, but it was clear that the thief had already left, as Fu had not been early enough and the Gates were already open. When the news reached Lí, he only smiled sadly, and said nothing. In secret he hoped that this old man would find his nephew and that he would get a chance to pass the message. Lí would probably never get the chance to make amends, but at least he now knew that the other had someone capable at his side. Someone who would help him carry the burden, someone who wouldn't leave him alone.


A/N: This took some effort to write. I want to thank ML8991 for his support and beta/co-authoring work. Ah and funny fact, I totally missed the anniversary date of this story. Yes, this story is already over a year old, which also means I've been working with ML8991 for over a year already. Time sure flies.

Also thank you all that reviewed, especially KnightOwl247 who has been faithfully reviewing every single chapter up till now!

I hope you also enjoyed our little side-story with Iroh, it was an interesting bit to write for me, and Lí did grow on me quite a bit.

Review response to LGC1403:
It makes me really happy that you like this story so much. To the question if this is Zutara or not, ML8991 and I haven't decided just how clear we want to point out possible ships. Thing is, I'm not a romantic writer, hence I can't really tell you if there are any clear ships at some point, it is possible, we haven't fully decided yet. Neither do I want to spoil things by clarifying here, but we'll discuss it over in the next bigger outlining session. Rightnow the main-focus is to get all of them on speaking terms.
Thank you so much for your review and telling and asking us anyway, we appreciate it! I hope you enjoyed the chapter and will continue to enjoy this story in the future.
-ystävä

Edit 21.11.21:
Ystävä: Huh, it's been a while. I had to rearrange quite a bit in Iroh's part so the narrative makes more sense, but otherwise it's really just newly proofread and so on. So yeah. The rest of Zuko's wounds finally got treated and between getting triggered and healed, Zuko's survival instincts kick in enough to suggest the group to move. Of course Sokka wasn't happy, but hey, give him some time to come around. Hope you enjoyed the ever curious and bold Toph as well.

And as I'm sure some of you have been waiting. Iroh finally got some screen time too. Let us know your thoughts!

ML8991: Heya guys, sorry for the delay, life's been a rollercoaster here, new job, new house, and all that going on my end, so apologies for the delay. But yeh, was definitely somewhat of a reminder to how we crafted Sokka, and will definitely inform how we balance out his redemption, as don't worry, although he has a long road to walk, he will walk along that road in time ;).

A lot of teasing also in this chapter to the challenges Zuko now has to overcome. He is a victim, but I hope that we've done a good job of trying to capture a blend of his pragmatism and his distance from the group socially. We look forward to hearing your thoughts on that.

Much to come, and some important pivot points also, and not too long to wait the next posting, I shall try my best :). Thank you for all your love and support, they mean the world to us both. Onwards to the next chapter, hope to see you soon, from ML8991.