Thank you!
Chapter 37
Spring 1971
By the time the sun came out, it was warm enough for them to sit on the back porch that overlooked the sea. Mary sat in the bigger chair next to Anna, a blanket over both of their laps. Pippa sat in the chair beside them, as they watched Pippa's three girls playing in the sand.
Despite being told it was much too cold to get into the water, Violet 'fell' in and came up toward them dripping wet with her lower lip trembling. Pippa stood and wrapped her own blanket over Violet's shoulders and told her to go inside, bathe, and change. Then she sat back down next to her mothers.
"She reminds me so much of you," Anna then said, a smile on her lips.
"Really?" Pippa asked, looking at her mama. "How so?"
"You were also always getting into the things you shouldn't. Started at a very young age. I remember finding you up in trees and hiding beneath all the bushes in search of bugs."
"You were adventurous, dear," Mary winked. "I encouraged it."
"She did," Anna nodded. "It was wonderful." Her mama's smile grew. "You were always such a bright spot, never letting others bully you around. Your mother made sure of that."
"And look at you now, a renowned paleontologist. I think your mama and I did just fine."
Pippa reached over and grabbed each of their hands. "You were the best mothers a girl could have."
1920s Downton Abbey
The house was still decorated for Christmastime. Anna stood on the stairs and stared at the tree. It was stunning. It was also bittersweet. Her little girl was now three years old. It seemed time was moving quickly. Johnny was six and George four. Soon, they would all be grown.
She took a few steps and made her way to the tree. Her hand lifted up and brushed against one of the shinning ornaments. A sigh passed through her lips. She, Mary, and the children had celebrated their own little Christmas before the children's bedtime. But it wasn't anything extraordinary. There was no time for that.
Anna felt a tear slid from her eye. She was struggling as Pippa grew older. She couldn't be a mother to her daughter and it was harder than she could have imagined. Even on Pippa's birthday, she could only give her a small present. The little girl did give her a hug, one that Anna cherished, but the relationship was not the same as it was with Johnny. The world nor Pippa could know.
She heard a noise and Anna quickly wiped away her tear before turning. It was Mrs. Hughes. Anna took in a deep inhale. Ever since Mrs. Hughes had found her out, there was this awkwardness between the two of them. Anna usually could have gone to Mrs. Hughes about her fears and sadness, but she couldn't now. Anna worried they would never have that relationship again.
"Congratulations," Anna then said, forcing her lips to curl up. She was very pleased for Mrs. Hughes and Mr. Carson. The two were engaged and Anna couldn't be more thrilled for the two of them.
"Thank you, Anna." Mrs. Hughes kept her distance. Her mouth opened slightly, as though she had something to say, but then she closed it again. Anna felt disappointment fill her frame. She just wished things could be how they were. "Well, I best get downstairs."
"Yes, of course." Anna watched Mrs. Hughes leave her and she could feel more tears coming. Everything was different now.
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"A new nanny?" Anna questioned Mary. Mary nodded and began to take off her dress.
"Yes, it is under Edith's insistence. A new one should begin later this week. She feels there should be two nannies watching over the children." Mary rolled her eyes. "There are only the four children. Johnny is so easy that it is really like three are in there. I know sometimes Sybil brings her girls over, but honestly, Edith is just being over protective. She feels there need to be more eyes on the children. But when she says that, she means Pippa."
Anna sat down and knitted her brows. "Is Pippa causing a lot of trouble in the nursery? Nanny has never said anything to me about it."
"No darling," Mary insisted. She went to sit next to Anna. Her hand came up to cup her cheek and she bent forward, pressing her lips against hers. Then she sat back and winked. "You know, Pippa just has a personality that Edith wants to squash. She thinks that a girl can't have any fun. But I won't allow our daughter to be raised like that, Anna. Pippa will not be raised with the archaic beliefs that just because she's a girl, she must be raised prim and proper."
Anna laughed, "My love, you're starting to sound like Sybil."
"I can live with that," Mary shrugged. "But if I start to sound like Edith, you have my permission to smother me in my sleep."
Anna shook her head then, her hand running up Mary's arm. "I'd never be able to do that."
"Well, if I sounded like Edith you'd have to. Could you imagine?"
Anna couldn't help but giggle. Her hand danced around the slip of Mary's sleeve and she then tugged at it to leave her top bare.
"I have to be at dinner shortly, darling," Mary weakly protested.
"Then I guess I'll have to be fast."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Mary didn't know why she had been called into the library. She had plenty of things to do around the Abbey this afternoon, but Carson found her and told her she had been summoned by her parents.
When she entered the room, she found both of her parents as well as Edith waiting for her. The moment Edith saw her, she stood with wild eyes.
"You have to get Pippa under control, Mary!" Edith spewed. Mary let out a loud sigh.
"Now what? Did Pippa dare to look at Marigold?" Mary asked with a roll of her eyes.
"Let's sit down and get to the bottom of all of this," Robert suggested.
"You can't be serious. Pippa and Marigold are only children. Do we really need to have a meeting?"
"Mary, Pippa is a little girl. I think you should teach her how to act like a little lady," Cora stated. Again, Mary rolled her eyes. Leave it to her mother to take Edith's side in the matter. Mary wasn't sure if she was imagining it or not, but it always seemed Cora was drawn more to Marigold than Pippa.
"Alright, darling," Robert began, "Will you tell us what happened?"
Edith pinched her lips and her eyes remained stuck on Mary.
"The nannies took the children outside to play. Pippa encouraged Marigold to get into the mud. Marigold slipped and ruined her brand new dress! That child is a menace!"
"That's what this big meeting is about, some mud?" Mary laughed. She heard more laughter and turned to see that her father was chuckling along with her. It didn't surprise Mary. He seemed to enjoy Pippa's spirit. She would even find him encouraging her with some of her antics.
"Well, the girls really shouldn't be getting muddy, Mary," Cora added.
"My god! It's mud. I'll have it cleaned, or get Marigold a new dress. And how do we know that Marigold wasn't the one who encouraged Pippa to get into the mud? Or that they both didn't just slip? Why is it always Pippa's fault!? She's only three years old. She's not some troublemaker."
Edith huffed, crossing her arms harshly over her chest.
"That is exactly what she is. You let her go around doing whatever she wants!"
"Alright," Cora stepped in. "Edith, now, Pippa is only a small child. And it is only some mud. I don't think we should allow this to…"
"Of course, you're taking her side, Mama!"
"Oh Edith, get over yourself," Mary rolled her eyes, yet again. Then she stood. "Pippa is a darling child. I won't have you all dictating how I raise her. She is not a troublemaker, despite what Edith claims. I'll have a new dress for Marigold made. But I've heard enough about Pippa. Is that understood?"
"Mary, now hold on," Robert tried. "We adore Pippa. However, perhaps, it wouldn't hurt to…"
"I said, I won't hear another word. She's a good child."
Mary then walked out of the room, her heart racing. She grew so tired of their constant nagging on Pippa. Ever since Marigold's arrival, it seemed it was all they did. Pippa just wanted to include the little girl in things. God forbid her daughter be kind to Edith's.
She made her way into the nursery where Nanny was in the mist of combing mud out of Pippa's dark hair. Marigold wasn't in the room, so Mary assumed the other nanny was giving her a bath. Nanny Jones seemed to be the nanny mainly for Marigold.
"Darling," Mary said, lifting Pippa up from the bed. "Were you naughty?" She playfully asked. Pippa shook her head.
"She really is a good girl," Nanny assured Mary. "Everyone adores her in here. Lady Edith tends to want it to be a bit calmer for Marigold," Nanny carefully stated, trying not to take side. Mary and the nanny's eyes met and they both snickered.
Mary nuzzled her nose against Pippa's cheek. "We won't stifle the fun out of her, will we?" Pippa giggled.
"Fun! Lady, I played in the mud!" Mary laughed, brushing her hand through her dirty locks.
"Yes, I see that darling. You definitely did. Well, let Nanny clean you up and I'll be back in a while to tuck you, George, and Johnny into bed."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"Yes, Mrs. Hughes?" Anna asked, making her way into Mrs. Hughes parlor. It was the first time in weeks that Anna had been invited inside. The two had only spoken when needed. Otherwise, it had almost been like the two of them were strangers in this building.
"Shut the door," Mrs. Hughes told her. Anna did as she was told. She took in a slow breath, trying to steady her heartrate. Though technically Mrs. Hughes couldn't fire her, she could make this all more difficult for her, if she wanted. While Anna didn't believe she would do such a thing, she found her heart racing in her chest all the same.
"I…what can I help you with?" Anna questioned, after the door was closed. Her eyes couldn't quite meet Mrs. Hughes' eyes. She knew she would only see disappointment staring back at her.
"Well, I…." Mrs. Hughes paused, seemingly just as unsure of how to begin either.
"We don't have to do this," Anna then started. "I know things are shadowed between us now, Mrs. Hughes. I know I have disappointed you and that what we had before will never be again. I am sorry you were brought into all of this. It's just…I can't help who I love."
"No," Mrs. Hughes agreed. "You can't. Sit down, dear."
Anna did as she was asked. Her eyes landed on the floor.
"I can't pretend to understand this, Anna," Mrs. Hughes began. "But I don't judge you for it." That made Anna look up.
"You don't?"
"No, Anna," Mrs. Hughes shook her head. "I know you and I know that you wouldn't risk everything for this if you didn't really love Lady Mary and she didn't love you in return. I only worry for you and the children. I love you Anna and I don't want to see you ever hurt."
A tear slid down Anna's cheek.
"I love you too, Mrs. Hughes. I never wanted to disappoint you."
"You haven't dear. I…I have had time to reflect on it and I have been able to come to terms with it. Though, I can't say I'll ever understand it."
Anna felt relief then.
"Thank you, Mrs. Hughes. I have missed you."
"I have missed you too. Now, do you think Lady Mary would allow Pippa to be a flower girl for our wedding?"
Anna brightly smiled. "She'll allow whatever I wish."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Anna's brows furrowed. She inhaled sharply and then turned herself around, as her hands began to twist in front of her. Mary had just explained to her what had all gone down earlier in the day with her parents and sister.
"I don't like this," Anna whispered. Mary quickly stood from the edge of the bed and walked up to Anna, wrapping her arms around from her back and resting her head on Anna's shoulder.
"Darling, I have it handled. I spoke with Nanny and she said that Pippa is a doll, just like we know her to be. This will all settle soon with Edith and Marigold. Edith just is too overprotective of that little girl. You'd think she invented motherhood."
Anna closed her eyes. "That's not what I mean, Mary. I can't be her mother. These things happen and I can't be there to stand up for her. And now with the new nanny, I have to be even more careful when I go into the nursery. I can't even let my own daughter know that she's mine."
"Oh," Mary breathed. She placed her hands on Anna's shoulders and turned her to face her. "Oh darling, I know that is hard, so very hard."
"I know I should be so grateful that she's here and I am, Mary, truly I am…." Anna hiccupped. "I just want to be able to advocate for her and cuddle her freely in the nursery or grab her up when I see her in the halls and I can't. I am unable to do all the things you and Edith can do for your girls. Edith may have to hide that Marigold is hers, but she can at least still play the motherly role."
"Wait…" Mary cocked her head slightly to the side. "Marigold is…." Yes, that made all the sense in the world. Mary couldn't believe it hadn't occurred to her before this moment. But right now, that didn't matter. Anna did. She needed all the support.
"Darling, whenever I speak about Pippa to others, I do it for you, too, you know? I always take into account what you would want for her."
"I know you do," Anna whispered. "I'm sorry."
"You have nothing to apologize for, Anna," Mary assured her. She took Anna's hand within hers and brought her over to sit on the edge of the bed. "Pippa is your daughter and I know how hard it is to have to pretend she's not."
Anna's hand brushed along Mary's hair and she smiled.
"She's your daughter too. She's so lucky to have you."
"I love her, you know."
"I do."
"And I love our boys. And you."
"I know," Anna murmured.
"Are you sure this is what you still want, Anna? I could always look into something else for you, Johnny, and Pippa. I would miss you all, but I want you to be happy."
Anna cupped Mary's cheeks then.
"This is what I want. I promise. With you forever." She bent forward and gave Mary a deep kiss. "Because I know this is how we are supposed to be."
To be continued...
