Why in the hell did I do that? Why can't I just leave her well enough alone? In truth he was only thirty feet away from him. He could see her, but she couldn't see him. Kenshin knew what had happened - Kaoru had drawn the Battousai out in him. Something that one person rarely could achieve.
Kaoru turned from the river and began walking back towards the dojo. He could her her soft sobs, hiccoughing as she walked. Silently, he followed some distance behind her, invisible to anyone who walked near him. She began to pick up her pace, stumbling over brush and sticks on the ground, nearly falling every time. Do you have do punish yourself, Kaoru-dono?
Finally, the odds came crashing down upon her, and she fell, hitting the ground with a solid thump. As he watched, she didn't even try to get up, didn't even try to move. Just laid there, her sobs ever so softly beating a hole in his heart. How can you not know? How can you not know how I feel? He knew she cared for him, but now he knew she didn't think anyone cared for her.
An astounding thought.
Slowly, she turned herself over, to watch the skies as tears fell down her cheeks in glistening streaks of flashing light. "Kenshin." Was all she said that he could hear. At that moment, he wished he were a lip reader and the sun was out. He couldn't tell if she was beckoning him or making a wish, perhaps she had seen a falling star in the sky, perhaps she was simply wishing him away. He took a step forward, and heard a branch crack beneath his foot. Busted.
Immediately her eyes sought him out, and, trying to repair some modesty, she stood up, hoping to fix some of the damage done to her image and her ego, lying there on the dirt path. She looked him in the eyes, searching for answers, even as the tears still fell. "Why do you follow me?" She shook her head. "You're free, Kenshin. You don't have to stay. Go, be happy. You certainly aren't with me." She let a tiny sob out. "No one is." She took a deep breath of air, trying not to pant. It wasn't ladylike.
He took another step forward, but feeling his temper rise once again, stopped, trying to calm himself. If she was trying to bring out the Battousai, it wasn't going to work this time. He had to control himself. Had to. If he didn't... it would all come out. Every bit of it, all he was feeling, all that he was thinking, would come out in a flow. He wasn't ready for that. He realized she was speaking again and tuned himself back in.
"- so just go. I hope you can find happiness. You're released from your promises, Kenshin. Released." She turned around before she could see his eyes, his entire demeanor, begin to glow.
"Aishiteru." He said it so softly, she didn't even hear him, couldn't tell what he said.
"What do you have to say? Thanks? I don't think I even want to know. Just go, and leave me be." And with that, she walked away, not even waiting for a response.
"Stupid rurouni. Baka." He followed with a string of curses, one after the other until he ran out of words to say. The anger in him, he found, was not diminished by this act, but rather fueled by it. He was never much good at cursing anyhow. Perhaps that was a good thing.
Slowly, deliberately, he took each step, following Kaoru back to the dojo, but staying behind. He didn't want to set her off again, once had been enough. What do I say to her? Why can't I just tell her I love her? Pride? I have none left. There's no jealous or over-protective lover, no father watching over her. Why can't I just tell her, and consequences be damned? Why don't I tell her?
Because she'd hate me. Because she doesn't care for me like I do her. She doesn't even want me around anymore. But I will stay. Where else do I have to go? How would I start over, without her? I would have no more sunny days, he realized, chagrined.
Shaking his head at himself, he had to wonder, When did I fall in love with her? When did that happen? How does something like that just sneak up on you? Shouldn't you know when it happens? He was completely mystified with the realization that he hadn't even known what was happening to him.
It scared him like nothing else.
Kaoru turned from the river and began walking back towards the dojo. He could her her soft sobs, hiccoughing as she walked. Silently, he followed some distance behind her, invisible to anyone who walked near him. She began to pick up her pace, stumbling over brush and sticks on the ground, nearly falling every time. Do you have do punish yourself, Kaoru-dono?
Finally, the odds came crashing down upon her, and she fell, hitting the ground with a solid thump. As he watched, she didn't even try to get up, didn't even try to move. Just laid there, her sobs ever so softly beating a hole in his heart. How can you not know? How can you not know how I feel? He knew she cared for him, but now he knew she didn't think anyone cared for her.
An astounding thought.
Slowly, she turned herself over, to watch the skies as tears fell down her cheeks in glistening streaks of flashing light. "Kenshin." Was all she said that he could hear. At that moment, he wished he were a lip reader and the sun was out. He couldn't tell if she was beckoning him or making a wish, perhaps she had seen a falling star in the sky, perhaps she was simply wishing him away. He took a step forward, and heard a branch crack beneath his foot. Busted.
Immediately her eyes sought him out, and, trying to repair some modesty, she stood up, hoping to fix some of the damage done to her image and her ego, lying there on the dirt path. She looked him in the eyes, searching for answers, even as the tears still fell. "Why do you follow me?" She shook her head. "You're free, Kenshin. You don't have to stay. Go, be happy. You certainly aren't with me." She let a tiny sob out. "No one is." She took a deep breath of air, trying not to pant. It wasn't ladylike.
He took another step forward, but feeling his temper rise once again, stopped, trying to calm himself. If she was trying to bring out the Battousai, it wasn't going to work this time. He had to control himself. Had to. If he didn't... it would all come out. Every bit of it, all he was feeling, all that he was thinking, would come out in a flow. He wasn't ready for that. He realized she was speaking again and tuned himself back in.
"- so just go. I hope you can find happiness. You're released from your promises, Kenshin. Released." She turned around before she could see his eyes, his entire demeanor, begin to glow.
"Aishiteru." He said it so softly, she didn't even hear him, couldn't tell what he said.
"What do you have to say? Thanks? I don't think I even want to know. Just go, and leave me be." And with that, she walked away, not even waiting for a response.
"Stupid rurouni. Baka." He followed with a string of curses, one after the other until he ran out of words to say. The anger in him, he found, was not diminished by this act, but rather fueled by it. He was never much good at cursing anyhow. Perhaps that was a good thing.
Slowly, deliberately, he took each step, following Kaoru back to the dojo, but staying behind. He didn't want to set her off again, once had been enough. What do I say to her? Why can't I just tell her I love her? Pride? I have none left. There's no jealous or over-protective lover, no father watching over her. Why can't I just tell her, and consequences be damned? Why don't I tell her?
Because she'd hate me. Because she doesn't care for me like I do her. She doesn't even want me around anymore. But I will stay. Where else do I have to go? How would I start over, without her? I would have no more sunny days, he realized, chagrined.
Shaking his head at himself, he had to wonder, When did I fall in love with her? When did that happen? How does something like that just sneak up on you? Shouldn't you know when it happens? He was completely mystified with the realization that he hadn't even known what was happening to him.
It scared him like nothing else.
