Can you believe we're at 50 chapters? I surely cannot! It's partly do to all of you and your kindness and reviews! I cannot tell you how much it truly means to me. I hope you continue to enjoy this journey. Enjoy!
Chapter 50
Summer 1971
Johnny, George, and Pippa all sat in the library at Downton Abbey. Today they had things to discuss about the care of their mothers. The three sat solemnly. George hated this. Seeing his mother and Aunt Anna deteriorating was tough. Those two had been such a strong presence in all of their lives. They had raised them with the help of certain members of the Downton staff and his grandparents. But they had made them who the three of them were today.
"The doctor wants Aunt Mary to remain at the hospital," Johnny stated the fact out loud. "Her heart is weak. They say it needs continual monitoring. They cannot give any clear idea of when she'd be able to return home. And even if she does come home, she can't get up the stairs anymore."
Pippa sat back slightly. "Mother will hate that. We can't keep her in the hospital."
"There's always hospice," George sighed. "Put her in a special home where she can be cared for, but I don't think…..No, I know she'll hate that too. Mother needs to be in this house."
"Mum needs her too," Johnny agreed. "And this house."
The three of them turned their heads toward the building. It was more than just their home. It was a life force for their mothers. To be apart from it would be like being away from a close friend or family member.
"But how would we manage it?" Pippa earnestly asked. "Dennis, the children, and I can stay here. Maebh's here, but it's far too much for her now. She's just a young adult herself. Mother needs real medical care and Mama still needs constant watch and care."
"We make the library or some other room on the main floor their new bedroom," George suggested. "We hire whomever we need to hire. Separating them and separating them from the house will only make us lose them faster. We don't want that." Pippa and Johnny shook their heads in agreement. "And we want them together. It's how they are meant to be."
"Yes," John agreed.
"Let's do whatever needs to be done."
1930s – Downton Abbey
It was nearly two in the morning when Mary arrived back home from staying with Pippa. She knew that Anna had wanted to be there as well, but Anna knew how that would look. When Mary crawled into bed after arriving home, she found that Anna was still awake. Mary wrapped her arms around her love and kissed her cheek. She told her that she and Pippa had also spoken about Anna as her mother and that Pippa seemed to be handling it well.
Isobel offered to remain with Pippa the rest of the night and promised that she should be able to come back home in a day or two. Mary relayed this to Anna and told her she needed to rest. But when Mary woke up just a few hours later, she found Anna sitting by the window. Slowly, she sat herself up and glanced at Anna.
"Darling?" She quietly questioned with a yawn.
"You should sleep. You got home late," Anna just replied, standing from the bench. She was already dressed in her lady's maid uniform and her hair was already drawn up into its tight bun.
"You hardly slept yourself. Come back to bed, darling," Mary tried, reaching her hands out. Anna only shook her head.
"I should get downstairs."
"Darling?"
Anna sighed. Mary slid out of their bed and walked toward Anna, grasping her hands with her own. She could see that Anna was struggling with her emotions this morning.
"Pippa knows you are her mother now and that's a wonderful thing," Mary told her. "And I think you should go and spend the day with her at the hospital."
"It'll look odd if I'm not here."
"Who will know? Mrs. Hughes? She'll understand. No one else will notice," Mary explained. "And I'll come over after breakfast is over and I speak with the tax person on the telephone. I left quite abruptly from our meeting yesterday."
"She says she's alright with it, but what if she's not?" Anna confessed her fears. "What if she's angry with me? I have lied to her for eleven years, Mary."
Mary inched herself closer to Anna so she could place her hand on Anna's cheek. Her fingers caressed the skin there and then leaned forward to kiss Anna. Her hand lingered on Anna's cheek for a long moment, before it slid down to her shoulder.
"You only kept the truth from her because it was what needed to be done. You did it to keep her, Anna. She'll understand that; she's a bright girl."
Anna pursed her lips together, before letting out a long breath.
"Perhaps."
"Go on, now. Get something to eat and go spend the day with Pippa. I'll make sure everything is handled here."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"Anna!" Pippa brightly greeted and sat up.
"Good morning, how are you feeling?" Anna tentatively asked. She sat down on the chair next to her daughter.
"Better," she shrugged. "Dr. Clarkson says they still want to watch me. Not sure why."
"Well, I'm glad you're feeling better, darling," Anna sincerely stated. "I know that yesterday was full of new information. Do you have any questions for me? I will do my best to answer them all."
The covering on Pippa's left eye had fallen and Anna could see that it was rimmed red. However, Pippa seemed to be able to see well enough. She tugged it from her head and dropped it beside her.
"Alright," Pippa slowly began. "Did you love my father?"
Anna furrowed her brows, before slowly shaking her head, "No, I didn't."
Pippa sat back against her pillows and pondered this. "But you love me?"
"Very much so," Anna strongly stated.
"And you won't tell me anything about him?" Pippa rose her brow.
"There's nothing to tell," Anna shrugged. "We weren't married. He wasn't a good man, but he did give me you. And I will never regret you."
"Would you have married him if it meant you could keep me as your own?"
Anna met her daughter's eyes. She hadn't expected a question as tough as this one. Anna would love more than anything to be able to claim Pippa to the world as her daughter, but she also could never have married Alex Green. But had he known and offered, would she have done it anyway? If it meant Pippa would be calling her mum?
"No," Anna then whispered, slightly ashamed. But she had promised herself that she wouldn't outright lie to Pippa. And she knew with all her heart that she could never have married that snake. It wouldn't have been safe for any of them.
Pippa twisted her lips. She grew quiet for a moment.
"Do Johnny and George know that I am your daughter?"
"I don't believe they know," Anna answered, glad for the change of topic. Speaking about Alex Green was never easy. Though she could tell that Pippa still had many questions when it came to her identity of her father and why Anna wasn't telling her much about him. "We never told them. But they were there the night you were born."
"Oh," Pippa said. "If you could marry Mary, would you?"
Anna blushed slightly. Even though she knew they were alone, she did check over her shoulder to make sure.
"Well, I can't," she replied. "But if we could, we would."
"But you wouldn't marry my father," Pippa huffed. It wasn't a question, just an observation. Her brows knitted in thought.
"Pippa, I know you have so many questions and I promise one day I will be able to answer them all. Just know that it is very complicated. Some things are easier to understand when you are older."
"Do you think I look like you?" Pippa then asked, again changing the subject. Anna smiled.
"I do. You have my eyes. A woman that used to work at Downton Abbey came to visit once when you were little. Her name is Gwen and we were roommates. She recognized immediately that you were mine." Anna still remembered that day so clearly. It had been a wonderful moment to know just how much Pippa favored her.
"I always liked your eyes. They're pretty."
"Yours are too," Anna winked.
"What about my hair? You don't have dark or curly hair. Did my father?"
"Well," Anna paused, she tried not to think about what Green looked like. "His hair was darker than mine, but not as dark as yours and it was straight. I think that's from my father. From what I can remember it was dark and had curls."
"From what you can remember?"
"He died when I was little."
"Oh."
"Do you have any more questions for me?" Anna held her breath. But thankfully, for now, Pippa shook her head.
"No, I'm just tired."
"Then rest, darling. I'll be here when you wake up."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
Mary arrived at the hospital right after lunchtime. She had hoped to arrive earlier, but the telephone call had lasted longer than she had hoped. It was better than having to go right back to London. Even though Dr. Clarkson had assured her that Pippa was going to be fine, she wouldn't feel good about it all until Pippa was back home with them.
When she entered the room, she found Pippa sitting up and eating some soup. Anna was sitting in the chair beside her and looked as though she might fall over from exhaustion. Mary frowned. Anna could push herself too much sometimes.
"Hello," Mary brightly said, as she grew closer.
"Oh, hi," Anna yawned.
"How are you feeling, Pippa?"
"Fine," she answered easily, "So what made you want to keep me?" Mary had not expected such a question before she even had the chance to sit down.
"Like I told you last night, darling, I loved you. We wanted you." Mary looked to Anna and reached over to grasp at her hand.
"So, I have two mums then?"
"I guess so," Mary stated. Her lips curled up and she still had her eyes on Anna. Then she remembered that either Dr. Clarkson or Isobel could come over at any moment and she dropped her hand from Anna's and returned her attention to Pippa. "Isn't it marvelous?"
Pippa twisted her lips. "It is, I guess."
Mary's smile dropped.
"I mean," Pippa started to explain. "It's a lot to understand."
"Right."
"But I do love you both."
"And we love you too, darling."
"We really, really do."
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"You're home late," Carson said as Mrs. Hughes entered the cottage. She placed her coat on the hanger and nodded.
"I know. I had to cover for Anna. As you know, Pippa was hurt yesterday and Anna spent most of her time at the hospital."
"But why would Anna need to be there? Pippa is Mary's ward," Carson pointed out. Mrs. Hughes glanced at her husband. It had been eleven years. Perhaps it was time. Mrs. Hughes was the carrier of many secrets and it could be quite the burden, but it came with the job. Some secrets she never minded holding on to, but ones like this ached at her heart. It always hurt not being able to share it with the man she knew. She still held pain from that day; pain for the woman she cared so deeply about.
"Why don't we sit down, Charlie," she quietly said. "I think it's time I've told you the truth. Pippa is Anna's daughter."
Carson had just sat down when Mrs. Hughes let out this secret and his head jerked up.
"But….but how? Who…who is the father?" He blurted out.
"That's the hard part. Why don't I make us some tea?"
-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-X-
"She's quite inquisitive," Mary stated, rubbing lotion on her arms. Anna stepped up behind her and helped her with the top button of her nightgown. She nodded, as her fingers brushed against the bare skin, making Mary shudder.
"She is," Anna agreed, inhaling sharply.
"Anna?"
"She asked a lot of questions about her father," Anna admitted, furrowing her brows. "And I didn't know how to answer her. I wanted to be honest with her, but I couldn't…I can't…" Heavy breaths began to escape Anna's lips. Mary gently turned and placed her hand on Anna's shoulder.
"Shh," she tried to soothe, before bringing Anna into her arms. "Oh darling."
"I don't want her to ever know," Anna cried. Her body was shaking against Mary's. "But she will and she'll…."
"We'll worry about that when it comes," Mary just said. Her hand moved up and down Anna's back to try and calm her nerves. "That's not today. She's back home. Let's focus on that for now."
Anna feebly nodded.
"Come on," Mary led her toward the bed. They sat down together and Mary continued comforting Anna, as she sang,
"Lavender's blue, dilly, dilly
Lavender's green
When I am king, dilly, dilly
You shall be queen:
Who told you so, dilly, dilly
Who told you so?
'Twas my own heart, dilly, dilly
That told me so."
To be continued...
