Disclamer Still don't own anything.
A/N: Thanks to everyone who took time out and reviewed. You guys almost made my head swell a bit there. Lots and lots of love with extra love sprinkled on top! I thought I'd write one more chapter just to give it a better sense of being finished. Hopefully, I didn't mess up what you all liked about it. Enjoy!
Respecting Today Part II
Lorelai walked through the town on her way back home with her cell phone plastered to her ear. Though she had become an expert on walking in any form of heel, she felt that her sneakers offered a welcome comfort to her step. The great feeling almost put her in the mood to walk with a little more vigor, but she cleverly refused to do so. She felt that that was an obvious slippery slope. It would lead to jogging, which would lead to light sprints, and before she knew it, she'd be running and taking nice calculated breaths. She made a mental note to write to the people at Nike. It was a conspiracy that needed be stopped.
"So, your phone call from this morning?"
"Oh, yeah. I just called to---hey, I left a message!" Lorelai faked shock and annoyance.
"Yes you did," Rory spoke slowly as if addressing a special child. "And you did a very good job, too. Who picked up the phone and dialed the number all by herself?"
There was a brief pause, which prompted Rory to let out a small giggle. "You know," began Lorelai "if you weren't so pretty, this cruel treatment that you give to your one and only mother would really hurt. Luckily, your baby blues make up for all of the abuse."
"Hail the healing powers of the iris," Rory said enthused.
"What I meant," Lorelai said, slight amusement apparent in her voice, "was that I left a message telling you what I called for. What's the point of asking someone to leave a voicemail message if you are going to call them back and ask them to repeat their call's intent? It's pointless. Yale's not really all that it's cracked up to be, is it? Am I going to have to call and ask them to leave you back in Cell Phone Usage 101 another semester?"
"I was hoping you would. There are just some things in cellular composition that just can't be learned in four months. Hopefully, you have no plans for the rest of the day because I have no idea how to end a call."
"Oh, Hon, all you have to do is flip the phone shut," Lorelai said teasingly.
"Did you just learn me something new?"
"That's my Valedictorian."
"I am the future," Rory said confidently.
They both let out a short series of chuckles. "No, really, I just called to let you know that I was thinking about you and I love you and stuff." Lorelai looked down as she pictured her daughter on the other end of the phone. The image made her smile.
"Well, Mom, I love you and stuff too," Rory answered. "You know that."
"Always a good thing to hear."
"Mom?" Rory asked, suddenly serious.
"Yeah, Sweets?"
"You sounded a little apprehensive on the message. Of course it was tucked protectively between that wonderful Gilmore wit, but I kind of got the feeling that something was wrong."
"Intuitive much?"
"Only on weekdays. Hours of operation fluctuate depending on emotional stability of those I hold dear."
"Oh, I feel privileged."
"Rightly so. So," Rory breathed heavy which led Lorelai to believe that she was getting comfortable. "What happened?"
"It was nothing. I just had a dream that seemed like not-a-dream." She stopped talking and used the pause in conversation to reflect on the morning's events. "When I woke up, I was a bit freaked is all."
"What was the dream about?" Rory asked.
Lorelai climbed the steps to her house and pulled her keys from her purse. "Well," she began a little preoccupied. "While I am not really in a rush to relive the hell that was my once spectacular dream life…" She dropped her keys on the coffee table and flopped down on the sofa, unsure of how to put the feelings into words. "It was bad kid. The awful-est of bads."
"What happened?" Rory asked. Lorelai could almost see her brow wrinkling in concern on the other end. "Was it me?" She said it like a last minute thought. "Was Paris involved? Because she has been more irritable lately. Can you imagine? We've all been kind of just staying out of—"
"It was Luke," Lorelai said, cutting her off.
"Oh. Well, he's OK, isn't he?" Lorelai said nothing in response. The pause caused fear to surface in Rory's voice. "Mom! Oh my goodness…please tell me he's---"
"He's fine, Baby," Lorelai said in a low tone.
Rory let out a sigh of relief. "…She said after nearly giving her daughter a heart attack."
"Sorry," Lorelai said absentmindedly.
"It's alright. Eventually my heart will feel homesick and find its way back inside my chest. So, the dream…you want to tell me about it?"
Lorelai could feel tears readying themselves for an unwanted encore performance. "I don't care to get into specifics," her voice cracked noticeably as she said this. "But for those of you who were not there for the feature show…Luke. Accident. Phone call. Major suckage."
"Oh, Mom, I am so sorry. Are you doing OK?" Her voice was caring and consoling, almost as if she were providing comfort to someone who had lost someone special. That is, however, before she went into panic mode. "Oh, my…I am so selfish. Here I was sleeping well into the afternoon when you needed to talk. I can't believe I can be that self-centered. I just turned off my cell phone, thinking only about ME and MY need for sleep. I so suck..."
Lorelai smiled into the phone, only partially listening to her daughter's emotional spiel. No matter what depressing, unflattering events were taking place in her life, Rory always seemed to make them seem less horrible. A lot of it had to do with the fact that she was a walking, talking Heart. Her existence eased the pain that life sometimes seemed to be genetically attached to.
Her thoughts were rapidly pushed aside when she focused in on the lunacy of Rory's words. "Rory, stop," Lorelai said forcefully. Realizing that she now had the full floor, she began to speak. "You are the greatest daughter and all around person that I know. You are hardly selfish, and hearing you say that you are is crazy." She paused to allow reflection of her words. "Now, you are attending one of the best school's in the country. I expect you to study hard. To do that, you have to be well-rested. You could have been knocked out from a night of drinking, and I still wouldn't tolerate you berating yourself like that. I won't allow it. Kapeesh?"
"You know Mom, there are other things you could do with your free time other than sit around and watch Full House re-runs," Rory said, choosing to focus on the very last part of her mom's rant.
"Perish the thought. What would the Olsen Twins think?" Lorelai asked, latching quickly to the not-so-smooth segue. An ability that she and her daughter had mastered.
"They'd probably think that it was a great step in the world's ability to move on from a 15-year old TV show."
"Hey! It's only about 12 years old, thank you."
"Much better," Rory said sarcastically. They gave the banter a proper silence to add a since of finality. "Have you seen him today?" Rory asked, breaking the quiet.
"Yeah, I went to the diner this morning." Lorelai stared at the far wall, thinking about the breakdown in the storeroom. Her intention had definitely not been to cry in front of him, but her tear duct hadn't gotten that particular Memo. Or it had chosen to ignore it. Either way, she had lost all emotional control. She remembered hugging him and the smell of his cologne came thundering strongly into her memory, almost making her think that he had just entered her living room. She closed her eyes and swallowed what seemed to be the last trace of saliva in her mouth.
"Mom, you still there?" Asked Rory.
"Yeah, uh, I'm here," Lorelai said, returning to the present. The tone in Rory's voice let her know that she had been calling her name for a while. "What'd you say, Hon?"
"I asked you if you told him about the dream."
"No, I, uh, d-didn't," she answered.
"Oh, no," Rory deadpanned, "what happened?"
"Nothing happened," Lorelai said, her voice using inflection to bring home her point. "What makes you think that something happened?"
"Well, let me think about that," she paused. "I happen to think that you happen to be saying the word happen with just a bit more emphasis than the word happen has ever happened to have ever received."
"Is it me or is the word 'happen' starting to sound really dirty?" Lorelai asked with a light giggle.
"It's just you," Rory answered quickly.
"It always is," Lorelai conceded shaking her head with feigned sadness.
"Sooooo….?" Rory asked, unwilling to allow her mom escape from the subject.
"You know what's weird?" Lorelai asked, seeming to have ignored her daughter's open-ended inquisition.
"What's weird, Mom?" Rory asked acquiescingly.
"Luke is a really great guy," she said simply.
Rory waited a beat before responding. "Mom, I don't have a Webster's on hand seeing as how it's ten feet away and I'd need an extra set of feet to have the strength to get up and go get it, but I think I could offer you a pretty decent definition of the word 'weird'. And, according to my mental description, I have no idea how that sentence remotely falls into anything relating to the makings of 'weird' content.
"You know, some people, when presented with a confusing statement, just offers a simple 'What?'" Lorelai said, on the verge of laughter.
"I'll have to remember that," Rory said dismissively. "Now, you were saying..."
"I was saying that Luke is a great guy, but…that's not what the town sees. He's always putting up this mean, grumpy, the-world-and-everyone-in-it-can-bite-my-ass front, but he's an amazing person." She slid further into the couch staring (unbeknownst to her) dreamily toward the ceiling.
"I know. Please tell me that you aren't just noticing this for the first time." Rory said.
"No, no, no," Lorelai replied hurriedly, waving her hand. "I've always known that, but, I don't know…it's weird."
"What's weird? How you're feeling?"
"I don't know," Lorelai replied genuinely. It's just that," She sat up quickly on the couch and scooted back toward the arm of it like that'd allow better flow of her thoughts. "When I had that dream, I just got so scared, ya know? I mean, it seemed so real. And all I could think about was that Luke wouldn't be here anymore." She stopped and took a deep breath to steady her nerves. "It scared the hell out of me, Rory." Lorelai was caught off guard by the seriousness in her own voice, and she silently scolded herself for allowing vulnerability to show to her daughter.
"That's completely understandable," Rory stated. "He's a big part of your life. Of our lives. I'd be crushed if something were to happen to him, so I know you would go berserk."
"Do I even want to know what you meant by that?"
"By what?" Rory asked
"The verbal highlight."
"Well, it's not like you're going to listen anyway, so NO! If years and years of having it told directly to your face hasn't done anything, one phone call will accomplish nothing."
"I have no idea what you are talking about, but whatever it is, it sounds as if you are calling your dear sweet mother naïve, child of mine."
"Well, mother of mine, if the Jimmy Choo shoe fits you…"
"Oh, playing dirty. The shoe gods curse you."
"Just considering my audience."
"Nicely played," Lorelai said.
"I try," Rory said. "Look, Mom, I have to go because I have a last minute meeting with my professor. But, if you want me to, I can drop by afterwards. It'll be a little late, but I can work it out."
"No, I think I'll be OK. Besides, you have an early class tomorrow."
"It's no biggie. I can just leave super early in the morning."
"No, Sweetie, I really am fine. It helped a lot just to hear your voice…just stay at school, and enjoy your parental-free lifestyle. I'll see you on Friday, 'kay?
"Okay," Rory agreed reluctantly. "But if you need to call and talk or anything, just give me a ring. My cell will definitely be on tonight. Kapeesh?" She asked, copying her mother's earlier usage.
"You got it dude," Lorelai said in her best kiddie voice. The impression wasn't dead-on, but she was sure Rory would get the relation.
"Michelle would be proud," Rory said approvingly, almost reading her mother's mind.
"Then my life's mission is complete."
"Mom?" Rory asked tentatively.
"Yeah?"
"I love you…and stuff."
Lorelai chuckled lightly. "Hallmark has competition." She breathed deep. "I love you and stuff too."
"Bye."
"Bye, Baby."
After hanging up with Rory, Lorelai considered briefly turning on the TV out of habit. Too much quiet was not good. Thoughts start to fly and mind starts to wonder. Never a good thing, but she decided to bite the bullet anyway. She actually had thoughts that she wanted to deliberate on for a while. Thoughts that were overwhelmingly wanting some attention. The first that popped into her mind made her smile a little. What exactly was Luke's cologne? It smelled really familiar and not being able to place her finger on it was killing her.
"Christopher!" She said, snapping her fingers. He was the reason why the smell was recognizable to her. She had bought the cologne for him when they were teenagers, but he didn't take to it too well. He wore it a couple of months because it was a gift, but soon switched to something that smelled to Lorelai like scented bug spray. She thought hard about the scent and realized that while the fragrance had been pinpointed, the scent was different than she remembered. It was better.
A cheesy grin spread over her face once she came to the conclusion that the difference, the best part of the scent, was that it was Luke. His natural body scent. That was something that no one could package. Luke, not being one to succumb easily to many changes, had managed to take an old 20-year scent and still make it affect the opposite sex positively. Not that she would admit to being affected. Because in her mind, she was just a female who could appreciate a nice smelling man.
She laid her head back on the cushioned pillow and folded her arms across her chest, mimicking the gesture with her outstretched legs. Eyes closed, a shudder ran through her body as she recalled the protective, wonderful feeling of having Luke hug her close to him. He cared. He cared enough to let his ever-present guard down. He cared enough to where he had become a little emotional just because she was. He cared enough to let her see his soft side—a side that she found herself wanting to swim in.
She thought back to the time when she had seen American Beauty. She remembered being more than a little tickled at the idea of there being so much beauty in the world. It's just a freaking bag, she had thought. The owner of the bag probably didn't see it as being beautiful when they tried unsuccessfully to grab it for fear of receiving a $200 littering fine.
The idea, however, didn't seem so stupid in the storeroom. It didn't seem stupid then, and it wasn't feeling stupid now as she relived the emotion that flowed through her as she stared into Luke's face. He was beautiful. Awe-inspiringly beautiful. In the traditional sense, of course. But mainly because it felt like she was connecting to, and therefore, seeing his soul. While that would, with many people, prove to be a scary realization, with Luke, it was an experience. He was beautiful. His soul was beautiful. Flawless. In the worldly, God-fearing sense of the word, it was flawless.
She knew this. She consciously knew this, but it did nothing more than give her a warm, tingling feeling at the thought. It was like she refused to let her mind correlate the feelings with anything that wasn't platonic. Her body had other thoughts, though. It was going there whether her mind followed or not.
Lorelai started to breathe heavily. If someone were to hear her, they may have thought that she was hyperventilating. In. Out. In. Out. Swallow. In. Out. There went her breathing. She squeezed her eyes shut tighter, nearly bringing about the appearance of stars. She saw him. She felt him. She felt a sudden arousal, and it scared her. Though, it became clear to her who was bringing on the feeling, she refused to allow it entrance into, even, her mind. It would not make it up to the front of the long line of thoughts waiting to be thought out. It would not.
"Oh, my God," she said in a low whisper. Luke reached up and gently pushed her hair out of her face. The memory of the touch triggered a sound that some people may have called a moan. Lorelai thought it to be a hum. A song in her head that had chosen an awkward moment to break through with the short, indecipherable note.
Her hands, which had been lying languidly on her stomach, started to rub across her midsection. They were tracing the area where Luke's chest and stomach had been pressed firmly against her. Again, she felt him.
She saw him leaning in and pressing his lips to her forehead. That alone, that fleeting feeling, elicited a sound from her throat that not even a song could cover up. She froze her hands as they worked slowly across her stomach. She looked down, increasingly aware of where they could have potentially ended up. The thought embarrassed her. While she would admit that she had taken part in doing that a handful of times, it was not something that she enjoyed. At least not the jumpstarting portion. It was awkward, and she had always preferred the real thing.
She held her hands out in front of her, looking as if she were readying them for a reprimand. Before she could set her mind to anything, however, there was a solid knock on the front door. Welcoming the distraction, Lorelai hopped up from the sofa and walked quickly to the door.
Upon opening it, her breath caught. "Uh, hi Luke. What are you doing here?" She stepped back, still clutching the doorknob as she allowed him entrance into the house.
"Hey Lorelai," he said. He was smiling. He walked in with his hands planted in his back pockets. "I was just coming to check on you like I said I would."
Lorelai thought back briefly. That morning when she had come back in the diner from the storeroom, she and Luke had resumed their normal talking pattern. Luke was particularly chatty. Working overtime to keep Lorelai's mind off of whatever was causing her sadness. When she was getting ready to leave, Luke had offered to check on her later in the day. She said that she would be fine, but Luke fought the urge to comply and insisted that he'd be by later. She smiled and accepted the visit.
"Yeah, of course," Lorelai said. She closed the door behind him and copied his hand position. Except her hands went in her front pockets. They both stood in the foyer facing one another.
"So," Luke said. "Everything good?" The affectionate look on his face and the softness of his voice let Lorelai know the myriad of things that he wanted to ask. All of them came out in a nice, thrifty two-word question.
"Everything is great, Luke. And, I want to thank you for…being there for me earlier. You have no idea…" She nodded as if she had made a complete, understanding proclamation. To Luke she had.
"It's fine," he said flippantly. "It got me away from Kirk, so I should be thanking you." His eyes twinkled. Usually, he'd be avoiding eye contact, but he wasn't now. Lorelai didn't notice how much he used to avoid eye contact until she was given his full attention this morning…and now. Overwhelmingly beautiful.
She was starting to lose herself, so she felt the urge to move and break the moment. She gave him a brief smile before casting her eyes down to the floorboard.
"You want some water or something? I think I have some---" She stopped in her tracks. She had started to walk into the kitchen, and the small amount of space between him and the wall left little room to walk past. But she had. At least she had tried to. She was sure her heart could be heard loud and clear as it sounded off in her chest. She closed her eyes and tried to gain control of the sensation that was coursing through her. Her arm, or more so her shoulder, was pressed against his chest. He had turned slightly to follow her into the kitchen. Math never having been his strongest subject, he didn't calculate well the amount of time she'd take to pass him, given her pace. He had turned too early, resulting in the light crash of certain body parts.
No harm, no foul. Usually. Usually, the parties would just take a couple of steps back and teasingly blame the other for their clumsiness. Usually the parties would brush off the incident as being nothing more than something that could barely be called a fluke. But not now. Usually. Under normal circumstances. But not now.
Lorelai felt her eyes flutter. She tried unsuccessfully to keep them open, but lost the battle.
Lorelai was at a somewhat awkward angle. She was between the wall and Luke with a shoulder against each. If anyone were going to move, it would have to be Luke, but he wasn't budging.
Yet, he offered a barely audible, "Sorry". He still didn't budge.
Eyes still closed, Lorelai replied back softly, "That's OK." She didn't make a move to move him. He was barely against her, so shoving him away would have been easier than easy. Yet, it seemed the hardest thing to do.
Luke contemplated what to do, but he came up empty. All he knew was that he did not want to move. He couldn't…but would if she objected. She was not objecting.
He extracted both hands from his pockets and brought them to his sides, fingertips against thighs. Slowly, he brought his right hand---his shaky right hand---up and pressed it gently against her lower back. As soon as his hand was completely splayed over her back, Lorelai let out a heavy breath and turned to face him gradually. Her eyes were still closed, but her face was lifted to where if her eyes were open, she'd be looking directly into his eyes.
His hand was applying no pressure on her back, so the closeness that was evident after her turn had nothing to do with him. Yet, they were an inch, maybe two, apart.
Lorelai had taken her hands from her pockets as well and they were lying on his chest. Slowly, very very slowly, she opened her eyes. What she was presented with almost made her weak at the knees. He was looking into her eyes. Had been looking into her eyes, even when they were closed.
The thought that she had been working to keep in the recesses of her mind had begun to shove and fight its way to the forefront as soon as she became trapped. As she stared into his eyes, she noticed the 'head of the class' position of the thought. It was smiling and jumping up and down, doing cart wheels and pointing and laughing at all of the other thoughts that it now outranked. Only now, it wasn't just a thought. It was a concrete notion. No, it was a reality.
She wanted to share the realization with someone. She wanted to share it with everyone. She wanted to share it with the person in front of her. It came out in one word. "Hey," she said smiling. She smiled with her mouth. She smiled with her eyes. And, she smiled with her heart. Finally. She was seeing him. She was meeting the 'him' that she denied that she ever wanted to meet.
"Hey," he said with the same smile. The same exact smile.
The smile slowly faded away as she focused in on his lips. She stared at them for a long moment before looking back into his eyes once again. She slid her hands up his body and around his neck. She had no intention of taking her hands off of his body for one second. It had been long enough. Both his hands were positioned on her lower back and they began to seductively rub her exposed skin back there.
The tension was thick, and Lorelai felt the urge to laugh, but she couldn't bring herself to do so. She was as serious as she had ever remembered being.
Luke moved in and placed a feather kiss on her forehead. The kiss that had started it all. She pushed her forehead lightly against his lips. He tore his lips from her forehead only to press another kiss on her right temple. Lorelai heard herself swallow. He worked his way down slowly until he made it to the corner of her mouth.
Lorelai had already felt the softness on his lips as he kissed other parts of her face, but she gained a new appreciation when she felt them closer to her mouth. Her breathing was very telling of her arousal. She was gone.
Before Luke kissed her lips, he reared back, and the lack of contact led Lorelai to peel her eyes open. They locked gazes, noticing the dark color in both of their eyes. Slowly, they brought their lips together, both keeping their eyes open until the last possible second. Hardest thing either had ever done, considering the amount of feeling running through each of them.
Their lips came together and almost instantly, their tongues met. Their movements were slow, passionate, and ridiculously in sync. A spectator would never be convinced that they were witnessing a first kiss. The smoothness of the kiss could be attributed to their mouths' distant relationship for eight years. For eight years, they had directed comment after comment toward the other, but had never met up close. Tongue lashings from a distance. The familiarity was there.
They stood in the foyer for a long time kissing like there was no tomorrow. Each was pressed desperately against the other, hands rubbing and providing stimulation to areas that were in easy reach. Neither made a move to take the action elsewhere. They were too enthralled in what they were doing. It was fulfilling in its own right. As soon as the kiss would seem to be coming to an end, it would get hard and heavy again, and another five minutes would be lost. That went on for over thirty minutes, their only support being the wall that held up Lorelai and, through her, Luke. Then, Luke and, through him, Lorelai. The give and take starting early. When they needed breaths, they would move their lips to other areas on the face and surrounding spots. They remained connected. The new second best conversation. The counter-convo would be a tough one to beat.
When the sun started to go down, the kisses slowed. Thirty-three minutes and forty one seconds after the second forehead kiss, they gave a mutual peck and rested their foreheads together. Both exhausted. Happy to be so.
"I was supposed to be back at the diner fifteen minutes ago," Luke breathed out.
"Well, if you want, we can make your late arrival really worth it," Lorelai's voice was teasing, but at the same time, seductive.
"Can it get any more worth it?" His voice was low and extremely sexy. Lorelai couldn't help but notice.
"Oh, you have no idea," She said seriously.
They stared at one another, desire dripping from every pore of their bodies, but Luke eventually stepped back, pre-empting another round.
"I'll see you later, Lorelai." He leaned down and placed a firm kiss to her shoulder, causing her to squeeze both of his. This was her self-discipline letting him know that if it left before he did, there would be serious trouble.
"Bye Luke," She said.
They stepped back from each other and fought the desire to reach back in. Lorelai felt suddenly empty, as did Luke. But one thing that they took solace in, was knowing that their cards were now on the table. And as long as there was always a tomorrow, they could continue to deal and play their hand. With one last smile, this is what allowed Luke to walk out of her front door. It's also what allowed Lorelai to let him.
The End
I am seriously pooped right now. I sat down and wrote this when all I was planning on doing was checking my e-mail. Just wanted to give L/L fans a little hope since that may be ruined in approximately 19 hours. I have no idea how good/bad it is, so please let me know. Negative feedback is very much welcome. Oh, yeah, while this may very well be the least of my worries, the ending is not really working for me. I am looking it over right now. Let me know. Thanks a bundle.
