Everyone was headed to the library. Wesley had requested everyone's presence and he waited nervously at the table. He had been researching for days. He was so mentally exhausted and physically tired but he knew he was getting close to something. He had to help Fred, the women he loved, if it took him the rest of his life. He had never felt love for anyone the way he felt it for Fred. She was a smart, beautiful, and funny woman everything you could ever want in a partner for life or so he felt. So in his long hours of searching he came across several spells that seemed to peak his interest.
As they all finally entered the library and found a place to sit, Wesley got up from the table and grabbed a few old large texts and opened them in the middle of the table.
"I asked you all here because I have found a few interesting spells. Willow had given me several leads to check and one of these books has a spell to heal a cursed or broken soul. In my search for a spell to help Fred and Illyria I may have stumbled upon a spell for Angel." Wes picked up the book and handed it to Willow. "If you please Willow, I would appreciate your opinion on this." She grabbed the book and inspected the spell.
As her eyes scanned the ancient text everyone in the room was fixated on Wesley. Her eyes grew wide and she again gave the ex-watcher a puzzled glare. "Wes, how did you find this? I have been through all of these texts several times and I…….have never come across this spell. Is this even one of my texts? Is this book on the list that I gave you?" Willow looked a little upset that she never saw this herself. She could have helped Angel years ago if she had. A nervous twisting pain started in the pit of her stomach and she began to feel heat coursing thru her entire body. Sham and guilt were written all over her face and Wesley took a step closer to her placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder. He knew that look well and decided to help relieve her pain that was so evident on her face.
"No you are correct Willow; this text does not belong to your library. This book is from W & H's collection. When Fred became sick I took several texts to my apartment so I could research there as well as at work. This particular text was acquired from another dimension. W & H has many volumes of works that have been recovered from the demon black market. This particular volume is from Pylea, I thought it would be beneficial to aiding in Fred's sickness."
"Oh thank the goddess; I am so glad it wasn't mine. That would have been so hard to…..I don't know, hard to deal with. You know the not noticing as spell that could have helped a friend kind of thing, so not of the good." Willow let out a sigh of relief but still couldn't shake the huge knot that had formed in her gut.
"So this spell, anyone care to fill the rest of the group in?" Buffy was finally cutting in feeling the need to relieve the pressure on her friend. "Is it just for Angel or can we use it to help with Illyria? Cause, maybe we can help them both. You know kill two birds with one stone kind of thing. That would be of the good." She always has a way with words.
"I'm not convinced this is the right spell for Illyria. She is in Fred's body but her presence was supposed to destroy Fred's soul. I'm not so sure there is anything left to cure, this is a spell to heal the soul within the body. We also do not know the effect it will have on Illyria herself. Illyria has the ability to transform into Fred; she has her memories and her mannerisms. I think that Fred's soul must still be in there somewhere for her to access this information. We need to find a way to separate them from one another." Wesley wanted to sound clinical in this but it just came out sounding very sad. "As much as I want Fred back Illyria is now part of the team and I do not wish to harm her. Whatever we do we must consider her well being as well as Fred's. I will continue to search for another way to help them. When I came across this spell I immediately thought of Angel, I never intended to use it on Illyria, I feel it may be too dangerous for her case." The sadden look on Wesley's face made everyone more somber.
Willow walked over to Angel and handed him the book. "Angel, I think you should look over this spell. I think it just might work but you are the one sticking you neck out." She laid the book in his hands and gave him her Willow grin.
"Wait a minute; this says that if the body shares two entities it must become one to work. What is that suppose to mean? Because if it means Angelus has to agree with anything we might as well forget it. He is never going to go alone with anything that takes him out of control." Angel handed the book back to Willow with little more force than he intended. She let out a little yelp and Angel backed away slowly. "Sorry, it's just Angelus is the worst part of me and anything that puts me together with him has got to be bad. He wants control all the time and I don't think he will agree to anything. I think maybe this might not work." He gave her an apologetic smile and sat back down. There was no way his nasty demon half would agree to anything that left him without an out. He has been waiting for Angel to slip up and free him ever since that time in Sunnydale. It was the reason he left Buffy, he didn't want to take a chance on unleashing the beast to wreak havoc on his loved ones.
"Ok listen; I think we should research this more before deciding not to do it. So who's with me?" Willow raised her hand in a cheerful manner hoping to lighten the mood and get the much needed help. She saw almost everyone raise their hands and she giggled and spun around to face Xander. "Now with that said, who's going out for donuts and coffee?" Willow gave Xander a wide grin. He knew he was snack man. "Alright, I get the point, its snack man to the rescue. Who's going with? Xander looked to Andrew and Dawn giving them a don't even think about getting out of it stare.
The whole room let out a much needed laugh and started passing out the books. It was time for research and the whole gang was use to the drill. On the way out the door Dawn ran into Connor coming to visit. She peered her head around the door of the library yelling at the top of her lungs, "Angel, Connor's here and he's coming with us. See you later." She turned and grabbed Connors arm as they exited the hotel.
Several hours and dozens of donuts later, the gang was still hard at work researching the spell. Angel didn't feel right about this spell. Sharing his body with Angelus was something he has been doing for some two hundred plus years but they were always at odds with one another. Angelus constantly told him if he ever got control again he would make it his main goal to ride himself of his pesky soul once and for all. Thus was the same for Angel. Yes he was in control now but the curse kept him in a constant state of fear. Fear that he would loose his grip on himself and let the beast out to kill everyone he knew and loved. Angelus was a cold hearted monster and if it took putting a steak into his own chest he would never let him loose again.
"Maybe this spell could work on Illyria." Willow finally said to the group. "I mean if we could heal the soul part of her that is Fred, they could share the body together. It would be like a split personality. Like Fred could take over to do research and stuff and Illyria could take over to fight and all. They could do it together. How do you feel about that Illyria? Would you share your body with the girl you took stole it from?" Willow looked over to Illyria who had been sitting in the corner not researching but pestering Spike to go out and patrol. She had pent up energy and she felt running her hands over dusty books were beneath her.
Illyria looked at Willow with her head tilted to the side. She had no expression on her face and it made them all wonder what she was thinking. After several minutes she looked to Wesley "Do you wish this Wesley? I have used the Berkel persona before and she is not so bad. Very weak, no good in fighting, but she would enjoy this research you all feel you must do. If you wish this I will do it." She walked closer to Wesley eyeing him up and down. He stared at her stone faced then turned to speak to Willow.
"Yes…….I uh……..I see your point Willow. I must say it sounds like it could be a possibility. I would still like to see if there is a way to separate them." Wesley had a new sparkle in his eye and Willow smiled at him in return.
By this time Faith had enough of the stuffy library. She never liked doing the book thing and her body was beginning to hurt from the hard chair she had been seated on. "I don't know about you guys but I think we should do this in shifts. Some of us are tired and we still need to patrol. I think I should take a couple of girls and do a quick sweep of the neighborhood. You guys decide who will stay and who will sleep. I'll take first patrol, be back if a few." Faith then got up grabbed some weapons and a few girls followed.
"Faith has a point Wes. You look like hell, go get some rest and we will wake you when it's your turn." Buffy walked over to put a hand on Wesley's shoulder. She was tired too but she knew Wes hasn't been sleeping lately. They separated into two groups. Wesley, Willow, Kennedy, Xander and Dawn took several girls and headed out to bed. Angel, Buffy, Connor, Gunn and a few of Buffy's girls buckled down to continue with the research. Angel was glad Connor had stayed to help. He had not spent time with him in a while and he wanted Buffy to get to know him better. Spike and Illyria had decided to go with Faith on patrol. Gunn was starting to wish he had gone with Faith. He thought she was so hot, and a bad ass slayer to boot.
Angel got up and stretched, he grabbed a book and kissed Buffy on the top of her head and walked over to the lazy boy chair in the corner. Buffy sat next to Connor looking over some dusty books, she was so bored, but she knew she had to help Angel. She was finally getting what she wanted, and sealing his soul would make life more than perfect. Connor was very sweet Buffy thought. She tried to make small talk, she really wanted to get to know her lovers son. They sat there silent until Buffy asked if he remembered a lot of his life before the memory implant. He was hesitant at first discussing this with a stranger but she seemed so nice and his father seemed to care deeply for her.
Buffy had heard Angel's side of the Connor saga but now she was getting it from the horses' mouth. He started with his first memories of Holtz and went from there. She sat with eyes glued to his every breath. She could not believe what he had endured. She felt so bad for him, and now she understood why Angel did what he did. This boy's life had been an absolute horror. He was raised in a hell dimension and taught to hate his real father. His version of the story also included his sleeping with Cordelia and the relationship between Angel and Cordy which Angel failed to include in his version. They never really had a chance to have a relationship anyway but Buffy still felt a pang of jealousy course thru her at the feelings that were supposed to be there. When he finally finished the whole story Buffy felt her heart break for him.
"Wow kid, your life reads like a soap opera. Not that mine is much better. I will have to tell you my story sometime, which is just as traumatic but not as horrific. It includes my dying several times but I'm kind of tired right now. I think I should tell you when we are both more rested. I think I need to wake the next shift and get some sleep. My eyes are not functioning now and my brain has already shut down for the night." She yawned and got up to tell Angel is was time to turn in. Connor just laughed a little and walked over to Angel as well.
"Hey dad, you got an extra room for me. I'm too tired to go home and I kind of want to hang and help another day or two. I have another week before school starts so I don't have anything else going on right now." Angel was so overwhelmed with pride, his son wanted to stay…here…with him. He watched Buffy and Connor talking and hoped things were ok between them. He thought they must because they had spent the better part of two hours talking quietly and no violence had occurred. That was always a good sign and Angel got up to greet them both.
"Sure son. The room next to Buffy's is empty. You can stay there, Wes has already put clean sheets and towels in there it's ready to go." Angel smiled and grabbed Buffy's hand and kissed it lightly. It was time for rest and everyone follow them out the door.
Buffy was so tired she fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow. As she slumbered she didn't dream her normal dreams of fighting demons and vampires, no, she dreamed of her love. She dreamed of walking alone in the park under the stars. It was so wonderful and very vivid. She thought she could really feel Angel's hands on her body caressing her as only he knew how to do. It was bliss. Just as she was getting to the good part of her dream she was waken by the sound of someone banging on her door. Of course it couldn't last. She got up and thru the door open abruptly. "What is it; you just woke me from the yummiest of dreams." She said very loudly.
"Sorry Buffy but Willow found something and she needs you right away. By the way what was it about?" Dawn said a little curiously. "Huh, what was what?" Buffy said very groggily. "Your dream dummy, what was it about?"
"Nothing that I'm telling you about. Let me get dressed, I'll be down in a minute." Dawn gave Buffy a glare as she folder her arms and swung her body around to stomp off down the hall. Buffy laughed and went to get dressed.
Buffy dragged herself down the stairs feeling a tired but in a good mood none the less because of her yummy dream. She strolled into the library grabbed a donut and put her feet up on the desk. "So….what's so important that I had to lose my beauty sleep Will?"
Willow smiled at her friend and handed her a piece of paper. Buffy read the paper then got up from the chair with a shocked look. "Is this right? How do you know this will work?" Buffy said handing the paper back to Willow. "Look Buffy, everything that Angel has done the last six or seven years has always revolved around one thing, you. His love for you, his desire for you, and everything he feels stems from your involvement in his life. He didn't want to be a champion until he met you. When he first lost his soul it was because of your love he had for you. I think that this spell will only work if you do this for him. What do you think?" Willow waited for her answer. She knew Buffy and Angel loved each other; they had a love that everyone dreamed of. And she knew they had just rekindled something earlier, she just wasn't sure how far Buffy would be willing go to help them keep that love.
"Yes, I….I would do anything for him Will. I love him, I have always loved him. But I don't know if I can handle facing Angelus again. That monster is ruthless and I'm sorry but he really hates me with great burning passion. Least we forget the fun and games with him a few years ago in Sunnydale." Buffy sat back down in the chair and put her hand to her temple, she felt a headache starting to form. "This is going to be so not fun for me. Dealing with Angelus after all these years, I thought I would never have to talk to him again. Have you told Angel any of this yet?"
Willow sat next to Buffy and put her hand on her shoulder. "No I thought you should talk to him yourself, and then if he has questions I will be here to answer what I can. It would be better if it came from you. This is a decision you both need to make together."
Buffy went to Angel's room thinking of how she could explain this to him. Would he willing to do this? She hoped he would, but she was scared herself. She reached his door and knocked. "Come in Buffy." Angel yelled from his room. She thought that the vampire smelling thing would always gross her out as she stepped into the room and closed the door behind. 'No turning back now' she thought as her eyes met his.
