I'm Not Your Husband!
Au-Nathan and Haley
I decided to post this fiction here because I love the honest feedback. It's like light and fun. I hope you'll enjoy it.
Prologue
Winter Break, 2002
An interesting structure down the right corridor of the Sands Hotel and Casino caught the bright brown eyes of the girl trying to ignore the nagging nerd that kept blocking her view.
"Okay! Alright! You are such a pain in the ass!" She screamed before moving him aside with her right arm.
Folding her limbs across her chest, she eyed her prey carefully.
"If you marry me, I'll give them to you." Haley James challenged her best friend since fifth grade's brother, pointing to the chapel at the far end of the hall.
"Nope!"
Nathan blushed with his shy smirk, staring down at his new Nike's.
"Ugh! He is such a coward. I knew he wouldn't take the dare!"
She rolled her eyes in disgust as his sister agreed with a nod.
"Betcha he doesn't know what to do with a real girl anyway!"
"I swear he's adopted!" Nikki directed to Nathan, who gave her the finger as she started backing away from the huddle.
"We should just go. There's going to be some guys just as hot and bored as we will be to hook up with us. I know it!" She fantasized.
Nathan watched Haley taunt him with the tickets, waving the objects of desire only inches from his face. The Scott boy was obsessed with the art of illusion and David Blaine was the best in the business. He just had to have those tickets!
Seducing him with the promise of getting see the young magician with his best friend Mouth was the only way his parents had gotten the teen away from the Harry Potter Convention and on the plane to Atlantic City during winter break. However, unlike Haley's well- prepared mom who bought tickets in August, his self-centered parents never thought ahead and the show was sold out by the time the stopped gambling long enough to try and purchase seats.
The blue eyed kid was only fourteen, but he knew marriage was a serious commitment. Hell Nathan Scott took everything seriousl!
Not to mention, the little brownie that was always hanging around his house barely tolerated him as her compadre's brother.
Yea, he could be stalkerish at times. They were teenage girls, dragging other fine 14 and 15 year old girls over to hang out with them. He wouldn't be a guy if he didn't check out the merchandise.
"It's probably the only time you'll get some one to say "I Do" like ever!" The short female barked impatiently. He was losing her short attention span and just aware she wasn't joking.
He needed an excuse fast. A light bulb went off in his head. Perfect!
"I would have to have your dad's permission. He doesn't even want you going to school with boys!" He said smugly, leering down to snatch the golden tickets from the no so confident anymore miss.
Dodging him, she swiveled to Nikki, her chocolate tresses bouncing behind her.
Reassuringly, the Scott twin brushed her brother's comments off.
"Oh, please! What kind of parents force their children to celebrate the holidays in Atlantic City so they can leave them on their own while they gamble, make out and totally ignore them? So a pretend wedding shouldn't be close to a big deal." Nikki divulged honestly and bitterly before letting it go and sharing a devilish wink with Haley.
Her pal immediately started whisper her plan to the bony girl.
Before her lanky sibling or his embarrassing best friend had thought up another reason against their plan Haley and Nikki scrambled down the store lined walkway to the fake church.
Reading the door, booth girls squealed with delight.
ShoreYou Love Me? Chapel
Fool your friends, your family, even yourself!
By the time the boys made chase, they were returning with information forms for both Nathan and Haley.
"Our honeymoon is going to be so hot!" She whispered in his ear, adding a few giggles.
Nate was now a deep shade of purple and very aroused. He would be so glad when he learned to control his gear!
Continuing her harassment of the gullible guys, Haley read all the details of the Magic show tickets aloud leaving them drooling. With only three hours left before show time they would have to make a decision fast.
"You're don't really want me to ask your dad. You're lying."
Nathan clutched his fist at his sides. They were probably screwing with him, but what if she really meant it? After having parents that only got along when they were 500 feet from the other, he had promised himself he would marry once and it would be for love. i"Wait! This isn't real!"/i He reminded himself before one of his panic attacks kicked in.
"If you don't brush your teeth, you won't get to kiss the bride." She threatened, rolling sparkly bubble gum flavored lips gloss on her full mouth.
Mouth's head volleyed back and forth and he covered his eyes with his hands.
Girls scared the sh!t out of him. Especially sassy, confident, beautiful girls like Haley James.
He couldn't let Nate get hitched. Marvin McFadden was sure they were destine to have Princess Amedala and a Hermoine Granger look-a-likes fall madly in love when him and Nathan at the next Sci Fi convention. If Nathan married Haley she would ruin everything!
Marvin or Nathan did nothing as the mischievous girls head for the exit.
"I bet we could scalp these from some serious bank." Nikki suggested.
Before the doors closed on a ticket waving Haley, Mouth started weeping silently.
Calmly, the Scott son called to Ms. James. "You really want to get married in a Sponge Bob tee shirt and a blue jean mini skirt, Haley?"
Hoping she would see he wasn't going to back down to another one of their gags and refusing to let her wear her signature style should wrap up this little farce. If she was angry enough she would problem throw those David Blaine passes at him just to keep him and Marvin away from them the rest of the night.
Jumping out of the exit in unison with Nikki, Haley wrinkled her brow at him, her hands resting on her small waist when she swayed his way.
"I thought I was the girl in this relationship! If you wanted to see me in a dress it's all you had to say, Sweetheart."
She blew him a kiss with a laugh moving back into his private space.
"Go ask my Daddy and meet us at the chapel in an hour." She bossed, jerking him down to her eye level by his black Polo shirt, she stood on her tip toes. Clutching the tickets in her free hand, her brown orbs darkened as they connected with his fearful expression. "Don't make me come after you!" She intimidated before swaying off arm-in-arm with Nikki.
"Arcade?" Nikki enticed.
"It's like we share a brain."
Haley clapped her hands jovially.
…………..
Nathan felt like a dead man walking as he and Marvin made there trek to the hotel casino, positive he would find not only Mr. James there, but he father too.
He was pitiful! Almost six foot and he was terrified of a girl not even five feet tall. If the guys on the basketball team could see him now, he would have to change schools.
"There they are!" Mouth pivoted.
Two middle aged men were racing out of the all-you-can-eat steak buffet and power walking to the casino entrance where the boys were planted.
Sticking his sweaty hands in his pockets, Nathan stepped up to the pair.
"What's up, Dad? How are you, Mr. James?" He rambled as he father stopped impatiently.
"Boy! I gave you two hundred bucks yesterday. Do you think I'm a bank?" Dan yelled.
"I don't need money, Dad. I just want to ask Mr. James a question." His son rolled his eyes at his typical antics.
"Ask away!"
The other man smiled, amused by the young man's flustered behavior. He was talking to himself, practicing when he was usually the epitome of calmness.
After thirty seconds, Mr. Scott lost his patients with his offspring's odd demeanor.
"Have you been sniffing your sister's nail polish again, Nathan? Ask Jimmy you're damn question so we can get to the tables before all those smelly blue haired bitties take over!."
He rubbed he hands together menacingly.
"I feel a hot streak coming on!"
Shyly stepping forward, the teen looked down at his shoes.
"Ummm …… Mr. James. Do you think I could marry Haley?" He requested softly, now wringing his hands.
The adults humorously eyed each other.
"That's my, son! It's never too early to start shopping for chicks!" Patting his child roughly so his body jerked at each blow, Dan grinned from broadly.
"That's my little girl you're talking about!" Haley's father playfully shoved his best friend, then turned back to the anxious adolescent.
"I'd be darn proud to have you as a son-in-law, Natey! Maybe you should tell Haley you like her first." Continuing past the boys and into the busy casino, he laughed heartily along with Mr. Scott.
……………….
After leaving the nail shop, the girls return to their shared quarters.
Nikki couldn't stop laughing.
"Nate is such a push over. His wife is going to totally rule him!"
"Did you see Mouth crying, my brother is such a looser for hanging out with him! You think he asked your dad?"
"Yep!" Haley raised her voice over the running water in the bathroom sink.
"I bet he chickened out. Oh …. Oh ….. I can't stop laughing."
She howled to a closed bathroom door.
"He asked. He's weird like that." The brown eyed girl yelled after brushing her teeth.
After several minutes, Haley came out.
She was dressed in a winter white wrap dress that fell a little above the knee. It was a Chanukah gift from her maternal grandmother. She wore matching knee boots her father had given her for Christmas and her hair in a bevy of ringlets.
Her best friend could barely pick her chin up off the bed. She threw the pillow she was lying on across the room and raced over the full length mirror where her crazy buddy was admiring her own image.
"Haley! You can't be serious! Please tell me you're in love with Nathan? Gross!"
The most diminutive of the two shivered at her words.
"Eww! No! I just want to see him pass out! He is such an easy target!" She mused, tossing a small object to her co-conspirator.
"Don't forget the digital camera." The bubbly girl instructed before giving her ringlets on last once over and grabbing her snowman purse.
Meanwhile...
At Claire's boutique a few store away from the chapel in the hotel's mall, Nathan checked his hair in one of the try-on mirrors for the tenth time.
He was handsome in his navy slacks, light blue button down, tan complexion, and barely blemished face with steely blue eyes. He liked the preppy look and more girls than he could count had been interested in him.
Chicks were nice, real nice to look at as far as he was concerned, but if you were lucky enough to have one of them make out with you at one of Peyton Sawyer's house parties, you ended up spending everyday carrying all their crap around school, going to sappy romantic comedies when he wanted to see blood and gut or amazing special effects. Heck, the only reason the popular girls tolerated basketball is because he was damn good at it. He needed a girl that was turned on by his science fiction fetish, honor standings and was willing to tolerate Marvin.
Thinking of Mouth made the nervous lad gaze around the display case filled with sterling silver bands. There his dramatic partner stood sniffing.
"Mouth! Dude, why are you crying?" Nathan sighed.
"Nate! How can you get married? You don't even know how to French kiss!" He told a little too loudly in a shop filled with teen aged girls.
"Shut up, Man!" The larger boy hissed at his friend, red as a beet when three pretty girls standing at the hat rack across from them started cracking up.
Sticking one of the large bands on his ring finger to make sure it fit, he also chose a much smaller one with three tulips etched in it for Haley. Men were suppose to pick out the rings.
"You don't even like Haley James!" Marvin panicked swing the floral arrangement in his hand.
"If you marry her, she's going to give you sex and you'll start spending all you time with her." He whined.
" I get sex!" Nathan piped, licking his lips.
"You're, You're dumping me!" He screeched as the twenty-something clerk curiously grinned at the pair while she handed Nathan his change.
Mouth was ripped from the store and toward the sanctuary by his extremely pissed friend.
"This is exactly why you're not allowed to play Truth or Dare, Spin the Bottle or any other game at anyone's party! I'm not really getting married, damn! Stop reading and watching so much fiction!"
He stalked off, tossing a few mints in his mouth.
" Yes!" Marvin danced around.
"Whew! I thought you had gone all Seventh Heaven on me. Everyone on that damn show is always trying to get hitched."
Every Monday night, Mouth was in front of the television before Nikki and Haley to watch that crap!
The high school student with the body of a fifth grader continued to chased behind Nathan yapping like a puppy?
"Hey, since you won't be on your honeymoon, can I go to the magic show with you instead of Hales?"
"I guess." He shrugged wondering why those evil little vixens weren't back yet.
"Nik and Hales are just trying to punk me. They won't show. There's no way Haley wants me to be her husband, fake or not." He pondered.
"On the other hand, if Lucas Roe finds out I got Haley James to pretend marry me, he'll definitely pass the ball my way!" He dreamed in awe of the sophomore who was captain of the junior varsity basketball team.
"He's all crushed out on her. He's always trying to carry her books and buy her lunch. If he knew how mean she really was he would hiding out in the gym during lunch like we do."
Yesterday, the sassy fire ball kick him in the nuts for staring at her in her new green bikini he painfully reflected.
"She has nice ta tas."
Mouth recalled as both boys smiled at the same memory only to be torn out of their gazes by someone slapping the back of their heads.
The girls had arrived.
"Daddy James said yes."
Nathan handed Haley the bouquet of flowers he had stolen off one of the tables in the buffet restaurant before going shopping for the rings. Brides needed flowers in a wedding.
"Told ya!" Haley mouthed to her stunned BFF, then turned her attention back to Nathan.
"Let's get this over with!" The gorgeous wife-to-be latched her arm in Nathan's and lead the way to the cheesy little chapel.
Signing in at the hostess desk, Nikki generously offered to pay the thirty five bucks. It was going to be money well spent as far as she was concerned. Going along with the realistic theme, the couple was separated and lead to different rooms to prepare for the staged wedding.
Haley was offered a veil and a choice of songs to be play as she made her way down the aisle but she took another option.
Both were instructed on the procedure for the blessed event and left to wait for their cues.
Once the pianist/hostess was likely out of sight, Nikki turned the knob of the dressing room door and peeked out.
"They're gone! Let's hide behind the last pew and take pictures while my doofus brother and Marvin stand there like the fools they are!"
She sprung up and down in her stance, elated with devious enthusiasm.
"Nikki I still want to play the "Bride Game"!" She pouted her lips, adding gloss to them at the rooms vanity.
"Now you're just being mean, Haley James!" The growing angry sister-of-the-groom suddenly became protective of her sibling.
"What if he really likes you? You'll break his heart. I mean he is always staring at you and sh!t."
Soon to be phony relative sighed.
"Nathan stares at anything with boobs and long hair. Remember when we caught him and Mouth looking at that nudie magazine with really fat chicks with clown make up on their faces?"
She caught a chill before bursting into laughter with her companion.
Barely hearing the ready knock at the door over their humorous fit, Haley nudged her chum with her elbow, giving her the doe eyes.
"Let me have my fun and I'll switch lab partners with you when we get back home. "
"Jake will be all yours." She singsonged, watching the pretty twin's eyes sparkle with delight.
"Sorry, Bro. Jake's hot!" She pulled Haley out of the room and at the entrance of the sanctuary before taking her place with the others down the aisle.
Singing Kelly Clarkston's "A moment Like This" at the top of her lungs, Hales marched down the row, blowing kisses at imaginary guest and making goofy faces at Nikki and Nathan.
Mouth couldn't stop crying.
Reaching in her purse when she joined Nathan, Haley withdrew the two tickets and offered them to him.
"A deal is a deal." She grinned brightly.
He shoved them back her way.
"It's okay. I'll marry you anyway." He remarked sincerely.
If they were going to keep pretending, so was he. A fiancé was happy on his wedding day. He was going to be just that. As far as Nathan Scott could figure, even fake marriages should start off on the right note.
"If you and Mouth promise not to tell anyone at school that this was my idea or I actually married you, I'll give them to anyway." Holding on to the show passes.
The males shook their heads in agreement and Nathan took the magic show passes.
The bride now stood inches away from the pair with flames in her bubbling brown eyes. " If you two try and double cross me you never find your Lord of The Rings collection of action figures, Mouth or your autograph Michael Jordan basketball, Nathan." She bullied.
"We swear!" The guys gulped in unison. Well, some for starting off on the right foot.
Returning to her perky mode, Haley took a step back and faced the minister with another perfect smile.
The nuptial went on as planned.
"You may kiss the bride!"
The faux justices smiled through hooded eyes and slurred words.
Haley brushed her body against Nathan to lay a very hot but short tongue kiss on him.
Pulling away, she pretended to gag and rolled her eyes, snatching the tickets back before darting out of the chapel.
Nathan and Tim were hot on her trail while Nikki found amusement in the phony marriage license they had left behind.
During the rest of the vacation, the wedding was never mentioned. However, when Nikki fell asleep on the plane ride back to North Carolina, Hales leaned over to the passenger on her opposite side.
Admiring the jewelry on her finger she whispered.
"This ring is really pretty, Nathan. You didn't have to do that. Thank you."
His traditional smirk turned into a full blown smile before he returned to the magazine he was reading with one hand and the flicking of the items in his left pants pocket with the other.
He had taken an oath not to tell anyone at school he got married during winter break, but who's to say he couldn't brag to all the guys he French kissed Haley James (Scott)?
Thanks to his stupid sister leaving the negatives from her digital camera in hi laptop, he had the pictures to prove it.
Pamela
