Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.

A/N: Sorry for the lateness of updating. Finals are coming up next week and I'm getting super busy preparing to ace em'. Gah! Wish me luck, guys! Reviews for 'Breathe' would also egg me on! XD

I'm like a ball of swirling stress right now . . . = (

REVISED: June 29, 2010

Oh my, this one was rather embarrassing . . . And quite a mess, too. XD

Breathe
Chapter 5: Reconcile
By: LadyYuina

Haruka held out a bag of ice towards Youko. She gratefully took it and gently placed it upon her swollen cheek. Haruka leaned against the wall beside her as she watched. He had his own thoughts running through his head, but he wanted to deal with Youko first. The fox youkai shifted from her position on the floor so she could stare at the bathroom door from her point of view. She let out a big sigh, for she felt her actions just before were unjust.

"Haruka, what I did before wasn't wrong, was it?" Youko asked. Haruka immediately shrugged in response. "I can understand . . . how Kan-chan feels . . . It's just that I'm always left in the dark. It's not fair that he doesn't tell me anything . . ."

"Do you want to know everything?" Haruka questioned rather vaguely. "Believe me. There are things that you wouldn't want to know about."

"You don't understand, Haruka. You don't know how it feels to be left out. When the two of you came back looking . . ."

"Kantarou failed . . ."

Youko looked up at the Tengu in surprise. "What?"

"It was my fault that Kantarou failed." Haruka could clearly remember the incident as if it were happening right now. "The look in his eyes told me all I should know, but even I don't know what exactly happened. On our way back he refused to tell me. So . . . in a way I can relate to your exclusion problem."

"What do you think he'll do with us? I've never seen Kantarou act that way before . . ." Youko said worriedly. She clutched at the ice bag tightly. Her blue eyes conveyed sorrow and apprehension. Her gaze left the bathroom door then, and instead she decided to focus her attention to a plant that they kept in the house. She remained silent, wanting an answer from the Tengu.

"I don't know," Haruka replied. He looked down at his clothing in disdain - he too, was covered in green blood. What did I exactly do? As far as I'm concerned, I can't recall anything after Kantarou called out . . .

"You reek. You should go take a bath too," Youko told him, like a mother to her son.

"With Kantarou?" Haruka stupidly asked. Youko blushed, slapping him on the side of his calf. That was not what she meant at all, though Haruka wouldn't mind bathing with his Master. In fact, he'd be delighted to. "I'll go to Sugino's then. Tell Kantarou I'll be back later if he asks."


Kantarou stay huddled in the tub of warm water. He wondered what Haruka and Youko were doing right now. Since he had lost his steam, he cringed at the thought of Youko being mad at him. This case had really gotten to him, and Haruka . . . After all, it was the first time that he had let a client die. Hopefully, it would be the last time too, because Kantarou did not want something like that to happen again. What was worst was when Haruka showed him his true self. He killed the demon, and as a result he also killed the client . . .

"Haruka, what happened to you back there?" Kantarou asked himself in the silent bathroom. He bit his lower lip in agitation. He knew there must have been a reason why the Tengu was sealed away, but he couldn't shrug off the urge to meet him. Kantarou combed through his soaked bangs as he stood up from the tub.

As Kantarou peeked outside the bathroom door he could see Youko sitting contently in the warmth of the sun's rays. Her eyes were closed as a soft smile caressed her lips. Kantarou tiptoed towards her, but despite his attempts to remain unseen, Youko's keen sense of hearing picked up his soft footsteps right away.

"Kan-chan . . ." Youko turned her head to the side to look at her Master. Uncertainty plagued her expression. She scooted over when the silver-haired man sat down beside her.

"How are you feeling, Youko?" Kantarou asked, being very careful. He fixed his attentive eyes to that of a patch of clouds that was floating idly by in the sky. Out of the corner of his peripheral vision he could see Youko bow her head, brown hair hiding her face. A gentle finger scratched at hem of her magenta colored kimono.

"I'm feeling much better now that I've had time to cool down. My behavior earlier was unacceptable, huh?" Kantarou didn't answer. Youko waited a breath's second more, but when her Master still refused to say anything, she noted, "the sun feels nice. I like its warmth."

"Yeah." Kantarou stretched lazily, he felt like dozing off at this very spot. He reminded himself of a cat. This must be what Haruka does when he feels relaxed . . . "Youko?"

"Yes?"

"Mind if I lay my head on your lap?" Kantarou asked. The words he spoke to her earlier still rung clear in his head, and it was bothering him. What she truly felt and what she was showing him now, he wanted to know which one was real. "I'm asking this time, so you have the right to refuse."

"No, it's not a problem," Youko replied. She breathed in deeply taking in the scent of her Master's clean smell. He had used a herbal smelling shampoo, and it was soothing to the fox youkai's nostrils. It didn't take long for Kantarou to fall asleep, and it was during times such as these when he emanated an almost childish-like innocence. "It doesn't seem like you're angry at me anymore. I'm glad."


Muu-chan opened her mouth wide as her husband fed her insects of assorted sizes and colors. Haruka watched them for a moment before fixing his gaze elsewhere. Watching the couple elicited a longing Haruka hadn't known he could feel. He felt the need to be by Kantarou's side - to care for him . . . to love him.

Sugino noticed the melancholy look on his friend's face. "Say, Haruka, this is just a thought, but if Kantarou were to nullify the contract he has with you, where would you go?" Sugino asked. "Has that ever crossed your mind?"

"It has. I don't want it to happen though. Being with him is enough for me." It'd be better if you'd let me have all of you, body and soul. "I've learned to enjoy his company."

"A wife-stealing bastard like him? What if you get a wife one day? Wouldn't you be worried that Kantarou would try to take her away from you? Pretend that it's Youko."

"Don't try to put me in your shoes, Sugino. I believe Muu-chan's affection towards my Master is pure friendship. Nothing more."

"It must be nice . . ."

"Huh?"

"To assure yourself that everything is all right." Sugino's green eyes got all watery as he looked at the Tengu. "I wish I had that kind of self-assurance about myself!"

Haruka looked around the interior of Sugino's home, noting it was much more simple and natural looking than Kantarou's. Of course, Sugino and Muu-chan were youkai after all. The demon-eating Tengu started to imagine how his life would be like here if Kantarou were to release him.

HARUKA'S IMAGINATION:

"Well, since Kantarou kicked you out of his home, you can live with us I suppose." Haruka grimaced. Sugino didn't have to phrase it that way. "You're a free Tengu now! Aren't you happy?" Haruka looked uncomfortably to the floor. "You miss that wife-stealing bastard? Just let him go, Haruka."

"I wonder where Youko went?" Haruka asked. "She vowed to stay by Kantarou's side no matter what, yet he kicked her out too. This is all too absurd."

"He's just a selfish wimp - nothing good can come from a human like him. Any human, as a matter of fact," Sugino noted, disdainfully. "Right, Muu-chan?"

"Mu-mu." Muu-chan nodded her head in agreement. Sugino smiled and rubbed her bald green head affectionately. Haruka was baffled that Muu-chan would actually side with her husband on this subject. It was obvious why she did though. Too obvious.

It was because Kantarou deserted Youko and I . . .

BACK TO REALITY:

"Haruka, you okay? Haruka . . .?" Sugino frowned as the black-haired Tengu stared at him blankly for a moment. "I think it's best that you go on home. It's getting dark outside; that human Master of yours is probably worried."

"Hm, I guess you're right. Thanks for letting me use your bath." Haruka stood up to leave. Before he left Sugino had asked him why he reeked of demon's blood. Haruka simply shook his head, telling him that he truthfully didn't know. After all, he couldn't remember anything that happened after that one time. Kantarou looked pretty shook up.


Kantarou opened his eyes slowly to see that all around him was pitch black. He could feel the warmth from Youko's legs so that indicated that she was still here. Her warmth wasn't the only one's he felt. He also felt a warmth beside his stomach. He placed a hand down there to feel soft fur, and in an instant he registered it as the puppy. Even though he was afraid of dogs he did not pull away. Even so, he felt really relaxed positioned this way. Youko's breathing came out in soft puffs of air - Kantarou knew that she was asleep.

Haruka came home to see the trio lying peacefully by the open shoji screened door. Kantarou was brushing Ichi's fur gently as his head was cradled in Youko's lap. Youko and the dog were sound asleep; all was quiet around the house. It didn't take long for the spiritualist to drift back to sleep. When Haruka noticed this he woke Youko up. She looked at him questioningly.

"I can take over from here. You need to make dinner, don't you?" Haruka whispered.

"Oh, shoot!" Haruka shushed her by putting a hand to her mouth. Once he let go, she said, "oops, Kan-chan's still asleep. Sorry."

Haruka held his Master's head as the fox youkai scooted out from underneath him. She, in turn, held Kantarou's head so Haruka could cushion him from below. Haruka smiled and looked at the sleeping form of his Master. It was a time when his body was at rest, and everything was healing. The Tengu savored the feel of Kantarou's warm head atop his lap. Oh, how he had waited to do this if only in his dreams. Yet, here he was cradling him. The smell of food wafted to Haruka's nostrils. Ichi smelled it too since she woke up immediately. Standing on all fours she ran to the kitchen, leaving Kantarou and Haruka alone.

Youko hummed to herself as she stirred something in a large pot. Ichi came bounding in, tongue lolling out as she did so. She sat by Youko's legs, hoping to be fed some scraps. She clucked her tongue. "You can't have any until everyone does, okay?" Ichi whimpered. "I'm serious, Ichi, you must wait on the other two."

Kantarou awoke again, but this time he sensed that he was not lying on Youko's lap. From his peripheral vision he could make out black pants, and not a magenta-colored kimono. He could see a large hand brushing his hair absently-mindedly. Kantarou did not move as he contemplated if he should say something or remain quiet. He chose the former.

"Haruka?" he asked, rather hesitantly. The hand that was combing through his hair stopped but did not move away from his head. "Haruka , is that you?"

"It's me. Are you feeling better?" He looked down at his cute Master. "Youko's making dinner so I took over for her."

"I see . . ." Kantarou moved then, trying to get up; however, Haruka gently pushed him back down. "What is it?"

"Can we stay this way for a bit longer? Your head is warm - it brings heat to my legs." Kantarou laughed. Haruka inwardly scolded himself, because not only did he make up a lame excuse, it was worse still that he had even bothered to.

"I'm glad you're here, Haruka. Youko told me earlier that you went to Sugino's place."

Did he miss me? The Tengu smiled warmly and was glad it was dark. If Kantarou were to see him grinning like a fool, he wondered what he would have thought about it. "Don't worry, I'll always come back to you no matter where I go."

"About our latest client . . . I think we should put that behind us. I must admit that we've never had one die before though sadly, this time it couldn't be helped. Haruka, tell me that you won't change from the way you are now. Back then, when you said you might revert at any time I fully understood that, but watching you become something else entirely than what I am used to scares me . . ."

"What do you mean?" Haruka asked. He was confused. Whatever his Master had just said was not sinking in. Kantarou sat up then, jerking himself up with quick reflex. He stared at the Tengu seriously, his red orbs holding no mirth within them. "I don't get what you mean, Kantarou, I've always been myself . . . Perhaps, not my true self since I've never regained my actual memories. That doesn't matter though, because the memories I'm making now are much better; I'm sure of it."

"Hearing you saying that doesn't make the unease go away. How can you truly say these memories are better when you can't recall a single thing about your former self?"

"That's . . ."

"They do matter, Haruka. They matter a whole lot. Imagine me forgetting my memories, and everything I've come to know and like right now were suddenly erased. How would you feel then?"

"Kantarou, don't speak like this . . ."

"I have to. It's to ensure you understand the situation you're in. I can't keep lying to myself . . . You had a life before you met me. You probably had friends, relatives, youkai I don't know of. Sugino didn't like me when he and I first met . . . He even wondered why you were hanging around someone like me."

"Look, it's not for you to worry about, but myself. I can promise you . . . If I go back to being who I originally was, you'd be the first person I'd try to get to know again."

"Kan-chan! Haruka! Dinner's ready! Come eat!" Youko called from the kitchen. Ichi happily barked.

"I promise you, all right? Don't look so down or else you're going to have me worrying about you."

Kantarou momentarily frowned, but soon managed a forced smile.

Chapter 5: END