Disclaimer: I do not own the characters of Tactics. They are the property of Kinoshita Sakura and Higashiyama Kazuko.
A/N: Thank you for all the reviews guys! If you thought the other chapter was weird, this one might just be a little weirder . . . Meh, your call, readers.
REVISED: August 14, 2010
I use the word "but" a little too MUCH, "but" whatever. I'm lacking creativity . . . XD
Breathe
Chapter 9: Lay It Bare
By: LadyYuina
As Kantarou grew, his feelings for Haruka also grew stronger the more he saw her. He'd gaze at her from afar, always too afraid to approach her. However, if it wasn't for his obnoxious tenacity to follow her he'd never would have stumbled upon a certain fox youkai. The silver-haired boy was gleeful when he came upon his first finding of a youkai. Having forgotten about stalking Haruka he went inside to investigate the sacred fox pillar instead. The intricate markings fascinated the boy. The bracelet he was wearing started to shake, and he stared at it in earnest curiosity.
His red-colored orbs widened in surprise when the fox's pillar started to shake in time with his bracelet. A loud voice bellowed, "give this creature a name."
"A-a name?" Instead of being terrified like normal little boys, Kantarou was excited. "Is it a boy or a girl?"
"Gender does not matter."
"Um . . . okay. I shall call it Youko!"
Kantarou sighed as he looked out the window at the blue sky. Ichi laid at his side, content after being fed lunch. Her white fur glistened like snow in the midday glow. Kantarou twirled his blue pen - Haruka's (human woman) favorite color - around his fingers. Writing about Haruka made his heart ache, and he knew he should let go since he'd never had a chance with her. Besides, she was already married at the tender age of twenty-two. Kantarou felt distraught from this, because being bound to another at such an age didn't seem right to him. Or maybe he was just jealous, and secretly despised Reito for being able to marry a woman like her.
"What are you doing?"
Kantarou quickly sat up, eyes widening. He thought he wouldn't be seen in this particular position, but it seemed like he had been found out.
"Are you looking for something?"
"Ah, no . . ." He struggled to think of something to say. "I was admiring the trees around here! Yeah, that's what I was doing!"
"Hm?" She looked this way and that and smiled. "I never thought of admiring the trees. You're a sweet-natured boy, aren't you? I'm Negaya Haruka. What's your name?"
"Ichinomiya Kantarou."
"Haruka! Where are you!"
"Oh no, it's mother!" She quickly ducked down, taking Kantarou down with her. Looking at him, she put one finger to her lips and made the sound, "shhhhhh."
"Haruka! This isn't a joke! Come out right this instant!"
"Your mother's-"
"Hush for a moment!" she hissed. "I don't want to be found!"
It didn't elicit anything from the girl on how Kantarou knew this particular woman was her mother, and the boy himself hadn't realized he might have had the slip of a tongue. Once it seemed like her mother had moved on elsewhere, Haruka visibly relaxed her shoulders and sighed.
"You don't go out much, do you?" Kantarou asked.
"No. Mother doesn't allow it. She's afraid I might get hurt. But now that I've managed to get outside, will you play with me? I hardly get to talk to anyone my own age."
Kantarou smiled and happily replied with a, "sure."
The spiritualist rubbed a hand through his hair, feeling the slowly healing bumps atop his head. Reiko hit him hard enough with a heavyweight paper fan to cause damage. His poor scalp was crying out with pain after the treatment he received from her.
Ichi lifted her head from her relaxed position to look up at the opening before the window. Perched on the sill was Muu-chan.
"Hi there, Muu-chan." Kantarou stashed away his pen and paper before she could see it.
"Muu-chaaannn! How could you come back here again!" Sugino protested. He flew to the open window and hovered around it. "Let's go home!"
Muu-chan looked at Ichi as she spoke. "Muuu-mu-mu-muu-muu-mu . . ."
"Eh? What'd she say, Sugino?"
"Muu-chan! How can you talk to her and ignore me!" Ichi barked happily at Muu-chan's sentence. This only made Kantarou more confused. "She said . . . Ichi, you've grown so big, you're no longer a puppy . . ." Kantarou started to laugh. Sugino then hauled Muu-chan into his arms and then flew away (much to her dismay). Ichi kept barking as they soon disappeared into the horizon.
"That was short-lived," the spiritualist muttered.
He stared at the drawer where he stashed his pen and paper - somehow he wanted to write more . . . Right when he touched a hand to the drawer's handle the shoji screened door to his bedroom opened. He turned to see who it was, a bit annoyed that someone else was going to bother him. He gasped when he saw the bloodied form of Haruka, watched as he panted heavily as he leaned against the doorway.
"Haruka! What happened to you!" He ran up to the Tengu. It also didn't help that he fainted then, throwing his full weight onto the silver-haired man, making him fall backwards onto the hard, wooden floor. Ichi barked frantically, sensing the urgency.
"Dammit! Where's Youko!"
Kantarou struggled to squeeze out from underneath Haruka. Blood covered his white gi, staining it the same color as his hakama. There was no time to sit there and catch his breath, because he knew Haruka needed immediate medical attention. Millions of questions were running through his head, but what with the way his beloved Tengu was injured (and unconscious), there was no way to ask him anything. With bated breath he quickly left the Tengu's side to go retrieve the first aid kit (which they kept handy in their home), and with trembling fingers he took out the gauze.
Youko mentally kicked herself for not letting Kantarou know she was going out with Reiko. At the time though, Reiko came over looking extremely depressed, and she was literally begging Youko to go out with her. Somewhat unsure of what Kantarou would think, Youko was most definitely hesitant, but Reiko had assured her that Kantarou needn't know where she went. She clearly stated that he wasn't her Master or anything of the sort. Youko wanted to tell her that she was wrong, however that would have only cause suspicion towards herself and her Master.
"Say, Youko . . ." The fox youkai looked in Reiko's general direction. "Has Kantarou started on my next article yet? The one he did before was horrible even though I had made him redo it! That lousy bastard!" Reiko's cheeks were flushed a bright red and her speech was somewhat slurred. Cringing ever so slightly Youko shook her head. "Well! You need to tell him to start! With all the weird things he'd be putting in there the sooner he starts the better! The boss said he'd give me and him a raise if he and I submitted better articles! Tell Kantarou that! It'll make him work harder!"
"Hehe, I will. But you know what, I think I should get going . . . Kantarou might be wondering where I've wandered off to."
"Stay a little longer! I'll be done soon! It's no fun when I have no one to talk to while I'm drinking!" Youko sweat dropped, and promptly sat back down. Several of the men sitting nearby were giving them curious glances. She didn't understand the gist of it, but it was probably due to the fact that most women around here hardly drank a lot alcohol. Reiko was one of the few exceptionally bold women who could be considered a heavy drinker.
It was well past noon before she finally made it to the front door, completely exhausted by Reiko's boring chit-chatter. What she came home to was totally unexpected, even unnecessary in her opinion. Kantarou, awash in bloodied clothing, scared her, and his panic stricken expression only added to the terror.
"Youko, it's about time you got back! Why didn't you tell me where you went!" He grabbed the fox youkai by the hand, dragging her along. "Haruka's been injured! Come help me tend to him!"
"Haruka's hurt? What happened?" Youko asked.
"I have no idea! He suddenly walked into my room looking all bloodied and collapsed!"
"Then maybe he got into a fight with someone, though this doesn't seem like him. Sugino, maybe? No . . . I doubt he'd injure his own friend this badly."
"Quit pondering on what might have happened and help me!" Kantarou nearly shrieked.
"Calm down. If you're not going to be mentally collected about this, think of what Haruka might feel once he wakes up seeing you screaming your head off."
"How can I be calm about something like this!"
Youko remembered experiencing immeasurable loss before, and having dealt with such situations for so many centuries, she found it within herself that she simply could not break down each and every time anymore. Even if this was Haruka lying before her, bleeding, she couldn't feel the panic Kantarou was feeling.
"The first aid kit won't do, Kan-chan. You managed to slow down the bleeding, but if we don't get him stitched up, it probably won't stop. He might be better in the hands of a really good doctor."
"Are you implying you aren't practiced in the medicinal arts?"
"Of course not, but I guess you can say I'm not too confident of my own abilities. But I will try my best to help Haruka if that's what you want."
"Good. I'll do what I can to help as well."
"Kantarou . . ." He could feel himself being nudged. "Kantarou, wake up . . ."
He began to stir but found his eyes were unwilling to open.
"He's probably tired from worrying so much. Let him wake on his own, Haruka."
"But . . ."
"Besides, you need rest yourself. In fact, he'd go bonkers if he saw you up and about when you're this badly wounded. Really though, Haruka, what happened to you?" Haruka sighed. "Don't sigh on me. Something bad happened is all I know, and if you're not willing to tell me, do you think you'd be prepared to tell Kan-chan then?"
"That's . . ."
"Well, whatever. Come on, let's get you back into bed."
By this point in time Kantarou was completely roused, though he pretended to continue sleeping as he felt Haruka slip into his own futon (which was beside him at the moment).
"Should I bring him to his room?" he heard Haruka ask Youko.
She laughed. "Like you could in your current state. Leave him be."
"I guess . . ."
It was perhaps a little while later, or maybe even longer before Kantarou decided he had enough of simply lying there (pretty much wide awake). Yet, just as he was trying to sit up, a quick hand latched onto his wrist, holding him in place. Startled by the sudden action, he looked towards Haruka to see him intently staring at him.
"Hey . . ." he weakly managed, when he thought back to what Haruka and Youko were saying earlier. "How are you feeling?"
"A little better," was the low reply. "You all right, yourself? The last thing I remember was blacking out in front of you."
"Yeah, I'm okay."
"Look, Kantarou, before you start asking questions, I already know what it is that you want to know."
You cannot tell Kantarou anything if you value your own life. No matter what happens, do not interfere. That wound I gave to you will kill you instantly if you tell him. Although the injury may disappear, its effect on you won't. That is my warning.
"That being?"
"A woman named Dirina did this to me."
He wanted to tell his Master everything, everything she told him, about what happened between them, about certain events Kantarou perhaps would probably rather not remember, ever. But sadly, he knew he couldn't. Kantarou was in danger and he couldn't do anything about it because much like a lowly coward, he valued his own life. It was a selfish thought in his eyes, but he never thought about dying for his Master, even if it meant he deeply loved the man.
At the time, Dirina made do of it as a joke, saying that he was merely infatuated. Telling him that Kantarou didn't think of him the way he did for the silver-haired human. In her eyes, she said Kantarou would always consider him as a servant, nothing more . . . That was when the fight started.
. . . Her last statement was, "do you not remember me?"
"Dirina . . ." The silver-haired man shifted position slightly.
Kantarou wanted to say that monk Nanao whispered her name before. Moreover though, he firmly believed Haruka didn't know of monk Nanao's existence let alone hear anything relatively related to him. So in the end keeping quiet about this tidbit was probably best in his own interest.
Near the beginning of the story of his life, monk Nanao had said, "I'm sure Dirina remembers you too." He couldn't figure out what the monk meant by that. As it stood he only remembered her name, her image, and a small bit of her personality (which served no true purpose at this point) . . . Everything else was pretty much distorted, unfamiliar to his mind. As he thought more about this the more confused he became.
"Haruka . . . Dirina is already dead. We've seen her gravestone."
Haruka found he was beginning to boil over; he wanted to get his point across to Kantarou without directly telling or hinting to him anything. It was proving to be extremely difficult. Dirina's warning was to be heeded for his own sake, but what about his Master's? He knew he saw their gravestone, but somehow it wasn't hard for him to believe that she was in fact Dirina.
You cannot tell Kantarou anything if you value your own life. No matter what happens do not interfere. That wound I gave to you will kill you instantly if you tell him. Although the injury may disappear, its effect on you won't. That is my warning.
Their odd conversation ended when Youko entered the room with a tray full of tea. She was relieved to see Haruka awake and very much alive. It hadn't really occurred to her that he might have still been knocked out, so she found it was quite an automatic thing to begin making tea.
"Heh, I kind of brewed this without really thinking about it. Though seeing as the both of you are awake, would you guys like some?"
"Sure," Kantarou said.
"Yeah," Haruka chimed a second or two later.
Youko took note the two looked a bit more tense than usual.
"Youko."
"Hm?" She was busy tending to his bandages so she didn't bother to look up.
He hadn't planned for this; no, nothing of the sort, but he felt an almost urgent need to tell someone about his predicament. There was no other better candidate than Youko (poor Sugino).
"I met her by Suzu's tomb. I was sitting near there reflecting on things when I suddenly caught whiff of a strange scent. It hadn't occurred to me at the time to be completely alarmed, so I sort of ignored it, but then I heard her voice."
"Whose voice?" Youko asked.
"Dirina."
"Dirina? Who's that?"
"I don't know, Youko. She and I ended up getting into a fight when she told me to back off and let things happen . . . To let certain things happen to Kantarou and to not interfere - before you ask she didn't tell me what those certain things were, however it doesn't sound too good just from the tone she used. Plus, the wound she's given me is a warning of sorts."
"A warning?"
"She said I'd die from it if I were to interfere."
Somehow, all of this was much easier to say than he had thought. Though, with Kantarou, his stomach was doing one too many twists and knots, but it might have been because he was the said person in jeopardy.
"Did you tell Kantarou all this as well?"
"To some extent."
"So in other words, you've pretty much left him in the dark."
"I don't have a choice," was the strained response.
"Yeah . . . You probably don't. It's okay, Haruka." Youko gently stripped off the remaining bandages. "I'll try to help you in any way I can."
Ichi easily kept up pace with Kantarou as her Master walked. He seemed to be lost in thought, and evidently heading towards Suzu's grave. For many, it probably seemed strange to find solace from a place full of decaying bodies and wandering souls, but Kantarou felt as such and this was what he wanted to do. Along the way he had picked flowers from the roadside to place upon Suzu's tomb.
"Come here, girl," he ushered. "Come sit with me by Suzu. I'm sure she'd like to meet you."
"Ichinomiya."
"Yes? What is-" He cut himself off in mid-sentence when he saw the same woman from before. Her piercing brown eyes were boring into him.
"Do as I have said. Write. Write faster. Write more."
Regaining composure quickly, he said, "now look here, I don't know who the hell you are or where you are from, and you have no business telling me what to do."
It happened so quickly that Kantarou almost didn't feel her pointed nails pressing against his delicate neck until he saw her looming over him. Ichi was now barking and fiercely snarling, though she made no move to lunge at the woman.
"To see the life drain from your very eyes; is this a wish you've been asking for?"
Confused, all Kantarou could do was gulp and stare. Was this woman going to kill him?
Chapter 9: END
