"Oranges are a love language in it of themselves."
Chapter Six
Toshiko had turned fourteen in the August of two-thousand-and-four; she'd done it surrounded by friends and family littering in the back of her grand uncles home. It'd been nice; Shikamaru had given her a silver necklace with a deer pendant on it and Mari— Shisui's girlfriend —had given Toshiko her first pushup bra while Itachi had stood from his chair, sickly and bald, and announced that he was in remission.
Better; it had all Toshiko had truly wanted for her birthday and she'd gotten it. It was why, even days after— with only a handful left before school started —she was still walking on air, wearing a smile so large it almost hurt to keep up.
Toshiko and the others— Shikamaru, Choji, her brother Sasuke, Naruto, Ino and Sakura —were at Kifune, a cozy internet café. Lee, an older boy who Toshiko knew through her brother and Naruto, was at the counter, shouting out peoples names so that they could come and collect their orders, despite not needing to shout over the cafes quite hum. Lee was always loud; Toshiko supposed he was just making up for Neji's— his best friend and Hinata's older cousin —lack of noise.
Toshiko was pressed up against the wall, stuck between the window seat and Shikamaru.
When she'd first realized her feeling for Shikamaru Toshiko had taken to sitting next to Choji as just simply sitting next to the Nara boy would make her face burn and swarms of butterflies erupt in her stomach. Of course Shikamaru wasn't stupid and had noticed her putting distance between them; back then, after a month or so of Toshiko dancing around him, he had grabbed her hand and told Toshiko that whatever she was going to could be gone through together, before pulling her down to sit besides him.
Choji sat next to Shikamaru while Sasuke and Naruto both sat in chairs they'd dragged from the other side of the shop while Ino and Sakura, both of whom blushed every time Toshiko's brother so much as looked in their direction, sat together in the booth across from Choji, Shikamaru and Toshiko.
"So Toshi, are you going to Kiba's party tonight?" Ino asked as she leaned back in her seat giving the younger girl a better look at the butterfly-themed belly button ring she had in.
"Yeah!" Toshiko said at the same time Sasuke announced, "No she isn't."
Toshiko's head snapped to the side.
"What do you mean I'm not?" She asked severely. She'd never been to a party before; much less one of Kiba's despite the fact that he was a friend of hers and had thrown several since he, himself, had started high school. Sasuke had always told her she wasn't allowed to go to parties until she was in high school and while that should have been three years away Toshiko had managed to study hard enough to skip her last two years of junior high school.
Meaning not only had Toshiko effectively gone from the oldest girl in her grade to the youngest person, but the upcoming school year would be her first year of high school. Following her brothers ruling, meant she would be allowed to go to parties.
"You're not going alone," Sasuke said, "I already have something to do tonight so I can't go with you." Every word out of her brothers mouth practically dripped with condescension.
Toshiko loved her brother but what she wouldn't give to be able to wrap her hands around his throat sometimes.
Toshiko's eyes narrowed, "We had a deal! Besides what do your plans have anything to do with me going to a party!"
"I know we did but you're a girl Toshi," Sasuke said and despite the fact they had been foolishly in love with him since both he and Toshiko had moved to town Ino and Sakura turned to Sasuke with raised brows and sharp looks.
"And what dose being a girl have to do with anything Sasuke?" Ino asked. There was an edge to her voice, one that radiated danger enough to make Shikamaru's knee jerk under the table and into Toshiko's. Ino and Sakura, while best friends, differed in more then one way; they especially differed when it came to Sasuke.
More specifically, Ino and Sakura differed because unlike Ino, Sakura was still slow to call Toshiko's brother out when he pulled or said something she didn't agree with. While Ino didn't care who you were— crush or not —she was an indigent ball of blonde fury who wouldn't abide by any kind of trespass whatsoever, and while it wasn't always her most endearing quality, it was Toshiko's favorite thing about the girl.
Though Shikamaru tended to call Ino a Drag more often then not— despite being her friend —Toshiko had, as of more recently, found herself going starry eyed every time the blonde girl stood up for herself and the people around her because where Toshiko would apologize for having soup poured in her lap, Ino would rather die twice over then ever say sorry for something that wasn't even slightly her fault.
Toshiko couldn't help but find it admirable and while she couldn't ever see herself becoming like Ino— incredibly outspoken in every single aspect of her life —she couldn't help but admire the blonde girl.
"I—" Sasuke started. Toshiko knew saying her brother was a moron was mean and an over exaggeration but it was at times like these— in social situations —that Toshiko felt like she could get away with it because despite the flash of Ino's eyes and the warning in her tone, Sasuke kept speaking, "—Well as a girl you know how dangerous guys-drunk guys, can be."
"I do," Ino said.
"So you can understand why I wouldn't want Toshi go be alone at her first party."
"I could if she was going to be alone," Ino said in the same haughty tone Sasuke had originally used, "But she's not going to be."
"Is that so?" Sasuke asked Ino. Toshiko looked between Ino and her brother, "You're going to stay with her all night?"
"Of course not it's a party," Ino said, her eyes sparkled as she turned to look at Toshiko and Shikamaru with a sly, calico smirk, "Shikamaru however—"
"—No! Wait, I hate parties," Shikamaru said. His knee was still pressed up against Toshiko's and his arm which had been behind Toshiko as he'd stretched it across the booth fell onto Toshiko's shoulders.
"So you're going to deprive poor little Toshi—" Toshiko pressed her lips together as she reminded herself that Ino was helping her, "—Of her first high school party? All because you don't like Kiba's music taste?"
Shikamaru settled against the booths seat, his arm squirmed behind Toshiko's neck and his fingertips trailed across the bare skin of her arm as he let out a long suffering sigh. Toshiko could practically see her best friends resolve crumbling in front of her. He looked at Toshiko from the corner of his eyes and Toshiko, who met his gaze did her best to look as pleading and innocent as she could; her bottom lip stuck out and her eyes went wide.
Her knee pressed itself more firmly against his under the table.
"You're such a drag Ino, you know that right?" Shikamaru muttered, caving in.
"Thank you!" Toshiko squealed as she threw her arms around Shikamaru, abet a bit awkwardly as her legs were bent oddly under the table so that she could turn to press herself against him. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!"
Shikamaru didn't hesitate in returning the hug. When Toshiko pulled away, her tongue was already poking out in Sasuke's direction; Sasuke, with a dull look on his face rolled his eyes in Toshiko's direction, though not before flipping her off as he stretched his arms up and over his head.
"Cha!" Sakura cheered, "Hey since Hinata's coming over later to get ready for the party too—" Choji leaned over to Shikamaru and said something about Neji and the perpetual stick up his ass, "—Do you want to come too?"
"Really?" Toshiko beamed. Toshiko knew she was included more often then not in other girls plans then because they always— fruitlessly —hoped that Sasuke would see them with her and suddenly fall in love with them, and she knew both Sakura and Ino weren't strangers to doing that, and yet excitement bubbled in her chest because Sakura's eyes never once flittered over to Sasuke and instead stayed on her.
"Of course! Hinata's going to borrow some of my clothes so her dad and Neji don't see her—" because Lord help Hinata if she wore a skirt that ended above her knee, "—If you want you could borrow something too."
Sasuke let out a pointed cough in Sakura's direction. The pink haired girl let out a squeak from the back of her throat.
"Or you could bring your own clothes," Sakura corrected, "And music! My papa bought me a stereo for my birthday and Ino's got the new Usher CD."
"You two wouldn't mind if I brought my Backstreet Boys CD, would you?"
"As long as you don't mind Hinata's pre-party INSYNC CD," Ino snickered. Toshiko couldn't help but laugh, the last time her and Hinata had spoken about music had been at Ino's last sleepover and the pair of them had debated which one was better— Backstreet Boys or INSYNC —for nearly an hour and a half before Sakura had started playing American hip-hop.
Sasuke turned to Shikamaru, a pinched expression on his face, "Bring a jacket."
And before Shikamaru could respond Ino— or Sakura's —foot must have shot out under the table because Shikamaru groaned loudly following a thunk. His forehead hit the table and the ponytailed boy let out a muffled sound of complaint.
"Toshi will bring her own jacket!" Ino declared and though his mouth got smaller the more it twisted Sasuke didn't bother to debate the issue, instead he turned to Naruto to talk about whatever secrete boyfriends spoke about while in public.
Toshiko looked at Shikamaru, her hand ran across his back. Toshiko could feel the curve of his spine under his palm.
"Thanks," she said lowly as she leaned close to his ear. She could feel the apples of her cheeks start to heart up; Shikamaru turned to that the corner of his eye was peaking out. Toshiko could see the curve of his cheek— his lips —turned upwards.
His hand settled on her knee under the table, "It's no problem Toshi."
And while Toshiko was sure it wasn't— Shikamaru was kind beyond words —she was sure the cardiac arrest she would undoubtable go into if Shikamaru looked at her any more tenderly would be a problem.
"Still," she said, her throat tight, "Thanks!"
Ushers Confessions Part Two was playing as loud as Sakura's new stereo could blast it. All four girls— Toshiko, Ino, Sakura and Hinata —had clothes strewn around the room while Sakura, Toshiko and Hinata tried them on. Ino had gotten dressed first, having walked into the Haruno household already knowing the perfect outfit.
"What about this?" Hinata asked, twirling around in one of Sakura's dresses. It was a lilac colored ruched dress that ended an inch or two above Hinata's knee. The dress was tight around Hinata's chest, not that it was surprising, Sakura had the smallest chest between the four of them, despite being the oldest.
"It looks so pretty!" Ino gushed, her left hand pressed against the side of her face. She was stretched out across Sakura's bed; the magazine she'd been flipping through laid open next to her.
"You think so?" Hinata blushed, she twirled around in the dress.
"Uh-yeah," Ino said. "And with those necklaces you brought with you to complete the look! Oh! And those sandals you bought last week? Hot!" Ino gushed. Hinata's face turned from pink to red in the blink of an eye.
"Naruto won't be able to take his eyes off you," Sakura ribbed, standing in only a bright yellow skirt and glittery gladiator sandals that sparkled under the lights of her bedroom. Toshiko shifted awkwardly as Hinata straightened; just like Ino and Sakura's crushes on Toshiko's brother weren't a secrete, everyone and their mother within the boundaries of Konoha knew of Hyūga Hinata's crush on the mayors son.
Confessions Part Two changed to Burn and Toshiko focused on the clothes at her feet rather then the girls around her. She felt bad— horrible —the more Hinata preened at the thought of Naruto paying her any attention because she knew he never would. Naruto would never look twice at Hinata, no matter what she wore or how she acted, just liked Sasuke wouldn't look twice at Sakura or Ino or any of the other girls that chased after him.
"Y-you think so?" Hinata sputtered, fisting the hem of the lilac dress.
"Hinata if I were into girls I'd hit on you," Sakura said. "Naruto may be an idiot but he's not blind-right Toshi?" And just like a deer in the headlights Toshiko blinked.
"What?"
"Well it's just you know Naruto, he's like another brother to you right? I mean he's always over your house-he's Sasuke's best friend," Sakura said, "So you have to have some idea about what he likes."
Yeah my brother, Toshiko couldn't help but think.
"He-uh, I mean, I don't—" Toshiko licked her lips. Her heart beat loudly in her ears. Toshiko knew she couldn't tell the other girls about her brother and Naruto even if the truth was all that wanted to pop out of her mouth. It'd be wrong, a total betrayal of Sasuke and Naruto's trust; when she had found out about them Naruto and Sasuke had made Toshiko swear not to tell anyone about them, Shikamaru and Itachi included. And she hadn't' and if she hadn't told either Shikamaru or Itachi about Sasuke and Naruto there was no way she could tell the girls about them and yet Toshiko still felt terrible because by not telling them the three girls would continue to harbor their crushes, never knowing that didn't stand the slightest of chances.
Toshiko breathed.
"—I don't think it matters what Naruto thinks, I mean he and Sasuke aren't even going to be at the party, you know?" Toshiko said.
"He's not?" Hinata asked, her shoulder's dropping. Toshiko smiled apologetically at the girl.
"He's tagging along with Sasu to pick up Obi's birthday present," Toshiko answered, lying. Her skin crawled as the words continued to flood out, "He said something about being worried for Sasu traveling alone-muggers."
"He did?" Hinata asked, her eyes a light. Toshiko felt her heart twist in her chest because Naruto wasn't going to tag along to Sendai with Sasuke so that he wouldn't be robbed, like some modern day ninja for hire, but rather, the pair were going to Sendai for the next two days to celebrate their one year anniversary because Sendai was hosting their annual Tanabata festival.
Toshiko looked away from Hinata and instead focused on finding a shirt to pair with the bedazzled low rise jeans she was wearing. Swirls of silver rhinestones ran up her legs and came to a stop mid-thigh. Toshiko already knew she'd be pairing the platform sandals she'd brought with her, with the pants so she just needed to find a pink or white— some light colored —shirt to wear.
"Yeah," Toshiko lied. What was the point of talking if all you did was lie? It was moments like these that made Toshiko wish she had never started talking again. "So who cares what he would like, all that really matter tonight is if you like how you look."
"I guess you're right," Hinata said, her face still red bur but voice smooth and soft as per usual. Hinata looked at herself in the mirror Sakura's father had long ago hung up on her closet door, she smoothed down the dress and pushed her shoulders back.
Hinata turned at the waist and grinned at Ino, her pearly white teeth nearly blinding. Toshiko had never Hinata smile like that before.
"You're right Ino, I do look nice!"
"Cha!" Sakura cried in agreement as she threw a grey shirt over her head. She tucked the shirt into her skirt before moving towards Hinata and using her reflection figure out how much to pull at the shirt, giving it a puffy-rumbled sort of look.
Toshiko picked up a white t-shirt that Ino must have manually cropped as while the shortened hem of the shirt looked nice, was no way professionally done. The short sleeves of the shirt were grey and an inch or two before the shirts new hem rested a shiny stenciled butterfly.
Toshiko held the shirt up to her body, "What do you guys think?"
"Cute!" Ino said as she sat upright, "Shikamaru is going to go crazy when he sees you." And just like Hinata who's face had turned a beet red at the mention of Naruto, Toshiko felt her own face flush at the mention of her best friend, and crush.
"What? Why-no he wouldn't," Toshiko sputtered, "I mean," Toshiko paused, the shirt wrung out in her hands, "Why would I care?"
"Maybe because you love him," Ino teased in a sing-song sort of voice.
"No I don't!" Toshiko denied loudly. Was it suddenly hot? Toshiko thought, Did Sakura's parents turn on the heat?
Ino raised a meticulously plucked brow, Sakura and Hinata both turned from their reflections in the mirror to look between Toshiko and Ino.
"Is that so?" Ino asked. Toshiko made a squeaking sound from the back of her throat, suddenly feeling like she was in a vipers nest; Toshiko supposed any packed teenage girls room was a vipers nest, especially when Yamanaka Ino was in it. "So if I finally listen to my mom and go on a date with him, you wouldn't mind?" It was a loaded question, one Ino seemed to already know the answer to, and yet her arched brow didn't lower as Toshiko twitched under her meddlesome gaze.
Toshiko suddenly felt very bad for the gleeful feeling she'd felt back at the café when Ino had all but told Sasuke to suck it. Toshiko sighed, loudly and heavily; perhaps if she hadn't been the one under the microscope Toshiko would have wondered what would happen if Ino, Sasuke and Shikamaru were all locked in a room together.
World domination probably, none of them lost at anything they did. Or murder; Sasuke could be annoying. World domination or murder sounded about right.
"It's complicated," Toshiko breathed. With the butterfly shirt still in hand Toshiko sat next to Ino, her shoulders sagged and her eyes glued to Sakura's wood flooring. "Shika's my best friend," she said next, as if it explained everything and though it was supposed to— supposed to explain all of the Shikamaru-Toshi thought's she'd had over the years —it didn't, judging by the confused looks the other three girls shot her.
"Shika-after the crash, Shikamaru was my first friend. For a while, before I felt comfortable around Choji and Naru and you guys, he was my only friend. And he's my best friend now, and people, well things happen you know? They die or they leave. Especially people who are romantic with each other, but best friends? They're forever, it's sort of in the name, best friends forever so Shikamaru is my best friend," Toshiko explained.
"Toshi," Ino breathed, her hand on Toshiko's back; her touch was cool against Toshiko's warm skin. "Shikamaru, he wouldn't leave you if that's what you're scared of."
"Because he's my best friend."
"Because he cares about you," Ino corrected, "Look you're not from here but you know the Nara's, they're lazy, too lazy to go out and find someone else to love and Shikamaru he-uh, he cares about you a lot so you don't have to worry about him waking up one day and walking out, he wouldn't do that to you."
I know, Toshiko wanted to say; Shikamaru was too kind to do something like that. To just walk away, but Toshiko couldn't help but think of it happening whenever she thought of his walnut eyes or how much she would liked to spend the rest of eternity under his arms because that's what people did.
They left or they died; her parents had done it and Itachi had too. No matter how many times she told her older brother she was okay with him living his own life Toshiko couldn't help but feel the same as Sasuke— bitter and upset —because he left. They needed him and he had gone off to college; Obito had left too. Sort of, while he had stayed in Konoha with Kakashi he had moved out after he and Kakashi had gotten married.
Everyone left, or they died.
Shikamaru had promised Toshiko that he would be there for her, no matter what he'd be there but that had been a promise he'd made as her best friend. If their label changed that promise would be null and void wouldn't it? It'd mean he'd leave her.
Toshiko shrugged, "Yeah," she said quietly, "I guess."
She could feel Ino's burning gaze as it drilled a hole in the side of her face but Toshiko refused to look, instead she stood and slipped the shirt over her head. Ino was righteous and indignant and most of the time Toshiko loved that about her, loved how she always voiced her thoughts but right then— in Sakura's bedroom, as she focused on her reflection in the mirror that hung over Sakura's dresser and not on the other girls in the room —Toshiko couldn't help but think Shikamaru was right.
Ino could very much be a drag.
The girls met Choji and Shikamaru down the block from the Inuzuka home; Choji and Shikamaru— both of whom are usually late to one thing or another were already there by the time Toshiko and the other's arrived —were leaning against the front end of Shikamaru's jeep.
His baby; even though Shikamaru wasn't technically supposed to be behind the wheel Konoha operated just like every other small town, on it's own rules. Buses didn't run all the time like they did in large cities and sometimes it was too dark to ride a bike from one end of town to the other which meant teenagers who were still technically a year or two too young to drive, would get behind the wheel after having taken the towns version of a technically illegal— and not at all valid in the eyes of the government —driving test.
Which was why the jeep— Dusty, named after the beige paint and by Choji —was in Nara Shikaku's name and not Shikamaru's, despite Shikamaru having been the one to save up every yen note and coin he had to pay for it.
"Looking good ladies!" Choji jeered playfully, the toxic green nose ring he'd gotten when Ino had gotten her bellybutton pierced and Shikamaru had gotten his tongue done stood out against his skin. Choji's hair had been gelled back and up, almost resembling a porcupines back; he looked like a punk rocker you'd see on television more then the sweet boy from down the block that he actually was.
Shikamaru however looked like himself; abet a nicer version of his usual self. He wore the same dark baggy jeans he'd worn to the café, the same boots as well; the chains that hung from the sides of his pants, half in and out of his pockets clinked as he walked from his car to the girls, but the shirt he wore wasn't the one he'd been wearing early that day. No, at the café Shikamaru had worn a t-shirt, some silly graphic t-shirt that had made Toshiko smile and Ino scoff, while on the corner, a block up from the Inuzuka household Toshiko found him wearing a brown button up shirt that was only mostly buttoned.
The top two were undone; Toshiko felt her face heat up at the sight of Shikamaru's collarbones. They weren't anything scandalous or abnormal, they were just the ends of two clavicle bones, and yet the sight of them made Toshiko feel weak in the knees. It wasn't even like she'd never seen them before, Toshiko and Shikamaru and the others had gone swimming in the local lake more times then any of them could ever count over the years, and a handful of times that very summer.
So it wasn't like the drip between his collar bones had been anything new for Toshiko. And yet her heart still speed up at the sight of them.
She was pathetic.
"Hell yeah we do!" Sakura fist pumped, she threw her arm over Hinata's shoulders and pressed the smaller teen against herself, "Don't we Hinata?"
"Yeah," Hinata said and though it wasn't as loud or sure as Sakura's it was enough for the pinkette to beam. Toshiko jumped as she felt Ino's hands slither against her sides, wiggled away from the blonde only to trip over the curb and fall against Shikamaru who was quick to catch her.
His hand's weren't cold like Ino's, they matched Toshiko's in warmth; though that wasn't to say Toshiko didn't jump at the touch of his hands on her hips because she had. It was just, she had jumped out of her skin over Shikamaru touching her for a completely different reason then why she had jumped over Ino touching her.
Toshiko's skin hummed in a familiar way as she straightened next to Shikamaru; it was the same kind of humming feeling Toshiko would feel whenever Shikamaru would hold her hand or would fall asleep against her shoulder and let his breath fan across her neck. Nervous and excited and jittery and lovesick all at once.
"What about you Shika?" Ino asked innocently, far too innocently, "How do you think we look?"
Shikamaru looked at Ino the way he usually did, tiredly and defeatedly, like he were just along for whatever ride Ino was captioning. "Good," he said, his eyes flashed down at Toshiko who smiled at him. "Nice," he added on a half a moment later and only in Toshiko's direction.
Ino and Sakura both snickered loudly at Shikamaru's added answer, Hinata didn't, though she did smile in Toshiko and Shikamaru's direction and Choji, who'd put his hand up to cover his mouth let out a muffled wheezing laugh.
"Right," Shikamaru said, the tips of his ears were red under the streetlights, "Let's just get going. Sooner we're done sooner we can leave."
"Aw come on Shikamaru," Choji chided, "Don't act you aren't even a little bit excited. Kiba's parties are always fun."
Shikamaru shrugged in response; Toshiko felt her smile dip as Choji turned away from Shikamaru and to Hinata, Ino and Sakura to talk about what the upcoming year would be like. Toshiko raised her right hand so that it clutched at the back of his shirt. He looked down at her.
"Thanks," Toshiko said quietly, just to him, "I know you don't want to be here so thanks."
"It's no problem," Shikamaru replied easily, "Really."
Too kind; Yoshino— Shikamaru's mother —liked to get on him for being lazy, and perhaps she was right in a sense, Shikamaru had passed up being the schools track captain so that he could be the captain of the school's shogi team and sure, Shikamaru always— without fail —seemed to choose sleep over extra studying but it was moments like these, moments where Shikamaru— despite more then likely not wanting too —went out of his way for the the people he cared about that Toshiko found herself disagreeing with the older Nara woman.
Because a lazy man wouldn't drag himself out of bed, throw on new clothes and give up hours of sleep to go to a party just so their friend could go. Shikamaru would; did. Had.
"Still," Toshiko said, her hand smoothed out against his lower back, "Thanks." Shikamaru smiled, it wasn't overly bright and his eyes didn't open fully the way they always seemed to when he beamed at her Toshiko but there was an infectious spark in his walnut colored eyes that made Toshiko smile.
"What?" She asked; Toshiko could hear the music coming from the Inuzuka home. She saw the bright house lights spilling out into the street.
"Don't tell him but maybe your brother was right about bringing a jacket," Shikamaru joked. Toshiko couldn't help but let out a giggle, her hand moved from his back so that her elbow could fly against Shikamaru's side.
"Hey!" He laughed.
"I do not need a jacket!" Toshiko said, still smiling, "I'm wearing pants-all you see is my belly."
The tip of Shikamaru's tongue caught between his teeth, if it had been quieter Toshiko was sure she would have heard the clink of his tongue ring against the back of his teeth. When he'd first gotten the piecing— to keep his mother on her toes —Shikamaru had done nothing but catch the bar of his piecing between his teeth as he spoke, it'd lead him to slur his words for nearly two week's straight and Toshiko to worry about him accidently ripping it out.
"Ino!" A feminine voice called out, "Sakura!" Toshiko looked to see an older girl she knew only in passing, Tenten. Her usually done up hair had been let down and the baggy athletic clothing she tended to wear had been replaced by jeans that synced at the waist and the same kind of tube top Ino was wearing, though unlike Ino's which was purple Tenten's was a dark maroon color.
"Tenten!" Ino whooped, she threw her hands up and in the air as she moved forward towards the brown haired girl. "You look hot!"
Tenten let out a loud laugh, one Toshiko would have felt in her chest had it not been for the vibrations that already racked her frame.
"Yeah?" Tenten turned her let outwards as she looked down at herself, "I think Neji—"
"—Neji is here!" Hinata's eyes widened, her face paled under the evening sky and her hands flattened against her hips.
Tenten smiled reassuringly at Hinata, the older girl moved so that she could loop an arm around the Hyūga.
"He left an hour ago-he just dropped me and Lee off. Said something about having to be home with your sister while your dad went out."
"Oh," Hinata breathed, relieved.
"I can see why you were nervous though," Tenten teased as she began to lead the group further up the block, "Cute dress Hinata."
"It's, uh-It's Sakura's," Hinata said bashfully.
"You're supposed to say thank you Hinata," Ino snickered as they came upon the Inuzuka home. Toshiko's eyes widened.
Toshiko had been to the Inzukua home dozen's of time over the years; she knew the house was larger then average and that the expansive lawn was so that Kiba's mother Tsume could run her dog training business out of it meaning that when when they were kids and the park would close or they could no longer lotter outside the local ice cream shop, it was Kiba's house they would play at for just a little longer.
But even back then— when pet owners would pick up their dogs at the end of the day —Toshiko had never seen it so crowded. It seemed as if all of Konoha's teenage youth had come to the party.
Teenagers, most of whom Toshiko recognized in passing— but didn't outright know —stood on the grass of the home; there were more people inside the house, the windows were open and Toshiko could see just how packed the Inuzuka home was. The music Toshiko had heard coming of the block played loud enough to rattle around the inside of the young teens chest.
Excitement flooded Toshiko's body, she instinctively reached for Shikamaru's hand. Her eyes flashed up as his fingers weaved through hers and she found that he was already looking at her.
Okay? He signed. Most people stopped signing with Toshiko once she had begun to start speaking again. They'd forgotten it over the years because they hadn't needed to remember it; Shikamaru hadn't. It was their thing nowadays.
Toshiko nodded. Loud. Nice.
She looked away from Shikamaru only to find the others gone. Her eyes darted across the lawn before her head swiveled back to Shikamaru who was smiling down at her. Her unspoken question written across her face: where did their friends go?
"The girls probably went to dance-Ino went to let everyone know she's here," Shikamaru rolled his eyes, "Choji probably went to see what food their way before he beats everyone at beer-pong," Shikamaru answered.
"Beer-pong?" Toshiko blinked, her eyes narrowed as she leaned away from Shikamaru, though their hands stayed connected. "What do you mean beat everyone at beer-pong?"
"You actually thought Choji would loose?" Shikamaru laughed. "Why do you think he's always sick after a party?" He lead her up to the home, the warm burnt colored walls seemed brighter then usual.
"I don't know, when he'd tell me he played Kiba or Naru in a drinking game it's always followed by him promising not to drink until he's eighteen—" Shikamaru chuckled at the mention of Choji's usual proclamation, "—I always thought that meant he lost."
"No," Shikamaru said shaking his head, snickering.
"Can I play you?" Toshiko wondered, "Its just you win in everything else—"
"—I do not," Shikamaru denied. Toshiko's brows rose,
"Shoji, Go, every kind of poker I've ever seen you play, Uno, Monopoly, Mario Kart, Mortal combat, and Yu-Gi-Oh that one time Sasu got you to play against him," Toshiko listed off on her fingers. "I just want to see if I can beat you."
"At the expense of your liver?" Toshiko shrugged impishly. "Troublesome, you know that?"
"Yeah," Toshiko grinned. She could feel the heat in her face; it was times like these that Toshiko wondered if her crush would be easier if she watched from afar, if she didn't pine so close.
Shikamaru pulled their arms and sent Toshiko flying against his side; he maneuvered his arm so that though his and Toshiko's hands were still connected, his arm was over her shoulders. He turned his head and his lips skimmed over Toshiko's hair; the girl wondered if she were breathing or if she had been the Uchiha to fall into a coma twelve years ago after the crash and this were all some fever dream.
Because there was no way a human heart could be so loudly in someone's ears.
"Alright," Shikamaru said, "I guess but later and don't drink everything in the cups okay? Your ōoji may actually lock me in your basement if I let you get wasted."
"Ōoji-san dose not lock people in his basement!" Toshiko argued with a smile.
When he'd been a kid— and a troublemaker; back in his first year of school —Obito had apparently told his classmates that Madara was a vampire who hid his victims bodies in the basement of the Uchiha home. Somehow, over the years, that joke had been warped into Uchiha Madara locking any kid who trespassed onto his lawn down in his basement leaving them never to be seen or heard from again.
"I'm sure that's what he wants you to think," Shikamaru said; with the arm that hadn't been bent upwards so that she could continue holding hand with Shikamaru, Toshiko's elbow struck out and hit Shikamaru's gut; he let out an ooph.
Toshiko went to open her mouth about Shikamaru's conspiracy theories— some days she would drop by his house and he would be listening to some weird radio show that talked about aliens with horns and government conspiracies —only to stop when a loud voice rang rang impressively out over the thumping of the music.
"Shikamaru!" Kiba cheered, "Toshi!"
Both Toshiko and Shikamaru looked away from one another and at their host; Kiba was in his usual dark track suit, Akamaru— the service dog he'd had to get after he'd started having seizures the year before —stood at Kiba's side alert. Toshiko knew— from the sign of Akamaru's vest —not to wave at the dog or lean down to pet him; though she did flash the service animal a smile, he was too cute not to smile at.
Or at least, she meant to. Kiba stole her away from Shikamaru by grabbing her by the waist and picking her up, "I didn't think you'd make it!"
"Put me down!" Toshiko responded, Kiba simply cackled as Toshiko's feet kicked at his knees as he turned. When he did put her down it wasn't a graceful landing in the slightest Toshiko fell backwards against Shikamaru.
Toshiko liked Kiba, she did. But then she'd spend time with him and he'd do something— or open up his big mouth the wrong way —and Toshiko would remember why she so often found herself fantasizing about flipping him over her shoulder the way Kakashi had shown her how to do when she'd started walking home from dance by herself.
"And I certainly didn't think you'd make it buddy!" Kiba said excitedly to Shikamaru; Kiba opened his arms so that Shikamaru could give him the kind of bro-hug Toshiko usually saw Shikamaru share with Choji only for the epileptic boys arms to fall when Shikamaru wrapped them around Toshiko instead.
Kiba's grin widened, "Right on man!" He pounded the air, "Shino said he'd stop by later," Kiba added with a wink; he was already half turned when he threw a smile over his shoulder at Toshiko and Shikamaru, "Have fun!"
Toshiko tilted her head up so that she could look at Shikamaru, "He seemed, uh-a lot more Kiba like then normal." Kiba-like meaning energetic; though Toshiko supposed she could have easily have said Naruto-like instead and still conveyed the same message.
"You should see him after he's really lost a game of pong to Choji."
"I'm sure Akamaru has fun making sure he doesn't choke on his own vomit," Toshiko mused as she and Shikamaru walked into the kitchen. Drinks littered the counter top, both alcoholic and non-alcoholic. Choji— who had been talking to a very pretty blonde girl Toshiko knew from dance —had his hand in a bag of chips he must of scrounged up.
"Want some soda?" Shikamaru asked Toshiko as he moved so that he could pour himself a glass. She shook her head as Shikamaru unscrewed the top of the Coke.
"No thanks."
"You know if you want to get your ass kicked in pong—"
"—I could be you—" Toshiko interrupted,
"—You should drink now. You know what they say, beer before liquor," Shikamaru finished, as if Toshiko hadn't spoken up.
"I don't actually want to drink tonight," Toshiko said, "Sure I'll drink when I beat you—" Shikamaru scoffed at her amendment, "—In pong but I don't want to drink. I want to have fun," Toshiko declared, after a moment she looked around "Do you think we could find the girls? Dancing kind of sounds fun."
"You know dancing here is different from ballet," Shikamaru teased, Toshiko stuck her tongue out at him.
"Of course I do," she replied, her cheeks pink, "Ino showed me the right way to dance back at her place." Technically Ino had taught her how to dance so that all eyes were on her— specifically Shikamaru's —but seeing as Toshiko would rather throw herself in front of oncoming traffic then tell Shikamaru himself that, simply saying Ino had taught her the right was to dance seemed like the right was to go.
"Oh?" Shikamaru's brow rose, he placed the bottle of soda back down and kept the cup close to his chest.
"It's-uh," Toshiko mumbled, "All in the hips." Technically what Ino had said was; Just move your hip and hair and Shika won't be able to take his eyes off you.
Shikamaru's shoulders pushed themselves back and his feet shuffled underneath himself. Something— unsaid —flashed through his eyes as he took in a deep breath, Toshiko's brows began to knit together only for Shikamaru to place his cup on the counter hard enough for the soda that was still in it to slosh upwards and onto the counter top.
"Right," Shikamaru said— almost like he were answering a question —before he grabbed Toshiko's hand. He tugged her back out of the kitchen and into the living room that was only several steps away; if Toshiko had thought the lawn had been crowded compared to the packed living room the outside of the Inuzuka home was deserted.
Two different couples were making out on the couch side by side, neither caring about the other. Abumi Zaku, a senior who'd failed the graduation exams twice before stood in the corner, behind the DJ equipment he and Kiba must have set up before the party. Zaku had once tried to steal Naruto and Sasuke's lunch money when they'd all been younger, Sasuke had broken the older boys arm.
"Ino should be here somewhere-Sakura too," Shikamaru said. He didn't mention Hinata or Tenten but Toshiko didn't point that out because she knew Hinata well enough then to actually expect her in the large, tightly pack crowd of teenagers. The only way Hinata would ever find herself on the makeshift dancefloor was if someone had promised her a full ride to the university of her choice and Naruto's hand in marriage.
"Alright," Toshiko nodded, she went to untangle her hand from Shikamaru's only for the teenage boy to tighten his grip on her hand; What do you think you're doing? Was his unasked question, Toshiko could see it written across his face. She pointed at the crowd of fellow teenagers, "That's a dance floor."
"Uh-huh."
"You don't dance." How many times had Shikamaru told her that over the years? She'd practice ballet at his house or he'd come to pick her up— because What kind of man let's their best friend walk home alone at night —and whenever she'd ask if he wanted her to show him something Shikamaru would always respond with his usual, Toshi, you know I don't dance.
"This is different," Shikamaru responded, "Besides I'm going to be back over here once we find Ino or Sakura. I just want to make sure you get to them." He flashed her something between a smile and a smirk. Toshiko didn't get a chance to ask why it mattered— to tell him he didn't have to go anymore out of his comfort zone for her —before he pulled her into the belly of the beast.
Somewhere in the crowd Shikamaru's hand hand moved to her wrist before it slide over her hips; like in all those dumb comedies Naruto would make them watch whenever he'd chose the movie— the sole reason Naruto was no longer allowed to chose the movie when they all hung out together —Toshiko and Shikamaru began to dance their way through the crowd. The dumb comedies were right, it was easier to dance across a dancefloor then it was to push.
Toshiko's hips swayed to the music all while Shikamaru's hand never strayed like someone else hands might have; it always stayed on her hip, teetering on the edge between skin and jean hem. His head bobbed up and down to the beat of Nina Sky's Move Ya Body and though Toshiko knew they were supposed to be looking for Ino or Sakura— or even Tenten had she left Hinata's side —Toshiko found herself unable to look away.
To breathe.
Shikamaru's eyes had always reminded Toshiko of walnuts but in Kiba's living room, somewhere lost in the crowd of their peers Toshiko couldn't help but think of how they were the farthest thing from walnuts; they had darkened considerably. They looked more like the shadows that plagued Nara forest, not that, that was a bad thing.
There was almost something hypnotizing about them in their darkened state.
Not for the first time since Toshiko realized she had a crush on Shikamaru, Toshiko couldn't help but think how much liking your best friend sucked. Because Toshiko knew she couldn't get to her tippy-toes and kiss him— forget about the kids around them and melt into him —but she wanted to.
By god did she want to.
Shikamaru's tongue stuck out of his mouth so that he could wet his lips and the bar that stuck through it flashed Toshiko; Yoshiko always told Shikamaru he'd have to take the piercing out if he wanted to get into a good, respectable university but Toshiko hoped he never would.
At least not before she found out what it felt like. Not that she ever would. Reality knocked Toshiko out of her daze; she looked away from Shikamaru, the breath of air that'd caught in her throat finally made it's way to her lungs.
A flash of blonde and pink crossed Toshiko's field of vision.
"I see Sakura and Ino," Toshiko said, looking away from where the girls were and to the space over Shikamaru's shoulder, least she get lost in his eyes once more.
"Alright, I'm going to be—" Shikamaru paused as his gaze swept around the room, he frowned in Zaku's direction and then in the direction of the couch which was still occupied by two lovestruck couples, "—In the kitchen. Find me when you're done?"
"Course," Toshiko said. And then— with a squeeze to her hip that while Toshiko was sure was meant to be reassuring had her squirming away due to her ticklishness —they parted, Shikamaru began pushing his way through the crowd and like she had been doing up until that point Toshiko danced over to the two older girls.
"Toshi!" Ino cheered, "What are you doing over here, I thought you'd be with Shikamaru!" Move Ya Body changed to Flap Your Wings by Nelly. Ino's arms reached out to the sides as so that she could stretch them up, making her already tall frame seem larger.
"I was!" Toshiko nodded, "But I wanted to dance." Toshiko didn't mention about how Shikamaru had danced with her while looking for the blonde and Sakura instead she just smiled as Ino nodded understandingly. Ino grabbed Toshiko's hands and beamed.
"Well you came to the right place babes!" Ino winked; Ino's hold was different then Shikamaru's. Shikamaru always laced his fingers with Toshiko's almost like he was making sure they wouldn't get separated, Ino simply cupped Toshiko's hand, their palms pressed together as they shimmed their hips; if Ino or Toshiko spun they'd lose one another in the crowd.
Sakura flipped her hair as her shoulders bumped against Ino's, her knees open and closed to the chores of Nelly's song.
"More hair girl!" Ino told Toshiko, "Like this!" And then she began to sway her head back and fourth, her long blonde hair flowed the movements swishing around behind her. Toshiko copied Ino's example.
Should I proceed! Rang out over the speakers.
"Yes indeed!" The party called out with the song. Giggles rippled through the crowd, Toshiko could help the large smile that overtook her face. Ballet was rigid, the movements were fluid and graceful but there was rigidness when practicing but as the song went on and changed to Hollaback Girl and then to TLC's No Scrub Toshiko felt herself loosening up as she danced with Ino and Sakura.
"Hey Uchiha!" A boy said; Toshiko, who'd been wedged between Sakura and Ino, slowed her movements down to see Shibire, an older boy, a senior who went to the same school Toshiko would soon be going to.
"Hi," Toshiko said with a small wave. She'd never actually spoken to the older boy before, the only reason she knew him by sight was due to the fact that he had been on the judo team with Sasuke.
"What do you want Shibire?" Ino asked. She'd stopped dancing and put her shoulder in front of Toshiko, as if she her blocking Shibire from getting to her, "Can't you see we're actually having fun here?"
"I'm just saying hi Yamanaka," Shibire sneered over the changing of Let's Get It Started to Toxic. The light look he'd had on was gone and instead replaced by one of annoyance.
"Well say bye will you," Ino responded, Toshiko looked over her shoulder to see that Sakura had stopped dancing as well and like Ino had taken to glaring at Shibire. Shibire let a puff of air out through his nose before scoffing. Without an actual reply the boy spun on his heel and disappeared back into crowd.
Toshiko raised her brows at Ino and Sakura, "What was that?"
"A jerk," Ino grumbled, Ino must have saw Toshiko's expression that told to the girl to go on because she did, "Shibire has this thing—"
"—It's gross and he's a total pervert—" Sakura grumbled, Ino nodded,
"—Where he dates incoming freshmen and then dumps them when a new class of freshmen are coming in," Ino explained. Toshiko's expression pinched with disgust.
"Oh," she said, "Gross."
Slowly the girls began to dance again, "Tell me about it, when we were incoming Freshmen he tried to hit on Hinata."
Toshiko's mouth dropped, she could only imagine what happened when Neji had found out; older or not, Shibire would not have been except from his wrath. "Oh no."
Sakura laughed loud and unabashedly.
"Yeah," Sakura said once her laughter had died out, the ends of her lips turned upwards into a very calico smirk, "Just wait until Sasuke finds out he tried to talk to you, he'll make what Neji did to Shibire seem light."
Toshiko felt her face flush in embracement, "What? No-he didn't, I mean, it was just hi. Sasu really doesn't need to know." She didn't need her brother finding out an older boy had said hello because she knew Sasuke, he'd stalk her every movement to make sure it never happened again, and while Toshiko didn't particularly want it to, the thought of her brother following her around the way Neji tended to follow Hinata made her insides shrivel.
"Yeah Billboard brow," Ino said with a smirk of her own, Sakura's eyes narrowed at the nickname, "When Shikamaru finds out there won't be anything left for Sasuke." Toshiko felt the burn radiating from her cheeks intensify.
"Shika wouldn't—" Toshiko stopped herself because Shikamaru was protective, he'd always been protective of her. Back before she'd started speaking there'd been times Sasuke had been nowhere in sight and someone would make fun of her for her lack of speech and Shikamaru would dare them to say another thing to her. About her, because he'd know if they did.
It— his protective nature —had landed him in a handful of fights over the years; no matter how many times he ended up in detention over said fights he never stopped getting into them. Toshiko didn't doubt Shikamaru would make sure Shibire knew to keep his creepy distance.
"—I'm going to find Shika," Toshiko said instead. Ino and Sakura snickered and Toshiko cut through the crowd, dancing her way across it and back into the kitchen expecting to find Shikamaru and Choji by the drinks, or Shikamaru and Kiba or Shikamaru and somebody.
Instead she found Hinoko; though everyone called her Soku as, despite her age, was a prodigy when it came to kyūdō. Soku had been in the year above her in middle school and was about to start high school with her, and Tobio, the boy next to her, was a clumsy boy who Toshiko knew shared a number of classes with both Shikamaru and Sasuke.
"Hey Uchiha," Soku smiled, Tobio tipped his chin upwards in her direction, a low sounding Sup, floated from his lips.
"Hey," Toshiko smiled, "Having fun?"
"Totally, I mean," Soku smiled lopsided at Toshiko, "At the moment I am, however when my mom finds out I sunk out—" she left her sentence very open ended, Toshiko smiled sympathetically at her. For half a second Toshiko wondered if her mother— should she still have been alive —would have let her come to the party, or if like Soku, she would have to sneak out.
"You could always tell her you snuck out to hang out with me," Toshiko offered, "Say I had some kind of emergency or something?"
"Really?" Soku blinked, "Thanks! So are you excited to start classes?"
"Yeah!" Toshiko said, her heels lifted out of her sandals as she instinctively got to her tippy toes. "Sasu-nii thinks that when classes start back up I'll be able to help unmask Kakashi."
"Yeah?" Tobio asked, "You know taking a picture of Kakashi-sensei with his mask off would probably go for some big bucks around campus."
Toshiko's brows knitted together, "I don't know," she said, "That seems kind of wrong."
"Maybe, but there's about one hundred and fifty kids with your incoming class, charge at least twenty-eight hundred yen per picture and you sell it to everyone, because everyone wants to know what Kakashi-sensei looks like, then that mean you'll be making just about four hundred and nine thousand, nine hundred and ninety-three yen," Tobio explained. Both Soku and Toshiko looked at the older boy with wide eyes and raised brows.
Soku leaned forward, "When you said you were like a business man and could get stuff, should I be worried about being seen with you?"
Tobio threw his head back and laughed, "No-no, you're good. I'm the dango man."
"Dango man?" Soku wondered, she and Toshiko shared a dubious look between themselves.
"Yeah so I make and sell my own dango and I charge three hundred yen for it, and well, okay so the school told me to stop so technically I sell paper towels for three hundred yen and the dango is just thrown in."
"And the school hasn't told you to stop selling paper towels?" Toshiko asked; "Are you going to be car salesmen after school?" Soku wonder at the same time, their voices over lapping one another.
Tobio looked at Suko with a half offended look on his face, "You wound me Soku, you come to me on the day of my only daughters wedding—"
"—Oh my god you loser, why do I talk to you?" Soku bemoaned. Toshiko couldn't help but giggle as Tobio let out a sound of offence,
"Maybe because I've taught you everything you know about the bow?" Soku didn't hesitate in socking Tobio in the gut; the boy's back hunched over and his bent as he fell to them. Soku turned to Toshiko, she grabbed an empty cup,
"You came over here for a drink, right?"
"No actually," Toshiko said, still looing at Tobio who was trying to catch his breath on the kitchen tile. "I was looking for Shikamaru, he said he'd be over here."
"He, uh—" Tobio wheezed, "—Shino, Nara went with him-fucking Christ Soku, why would you hit me so hard. I'm dying!"
"You are not," Suko drawled. She looked at Toshiko, "Some dude, Shino I guess, came and he and Nara left."
"He left?" Shikamaru wouldn't just leave her at the party? Sure he hadn't wanted to come but he wouldn't just leave her. "When?"
"Twenty minutes?" Suko shrugged. The anxiousness Toshiko had been feeling must have shone clearly on her face because Suko put a hand on her arm, "Look Nara's as likely to abandon you as Tobio here is to ditch me. I wouldn't worry, he'll be back."
"Yeah," Toshiko nodded. She swallowed the lump in her throat, she knew she should go back to Ino and Sakura— try to find them or Hinata or Kiba, someone Sasuke knew if only so when he inevitably found out her and Shikamaru split up he wouldn't be upset —but she didn't. Instead, like a lost child she stayed rooted to where she was.
She helped Tobio clamber back up to his feet and when he was resting his weight on the countertop Toshiko asked the pair, "How's practice been?"
Both Suko and Tobio's eyes brightened at the mention of their sport of choice, "Great!" Suko said, "Rō-sensei says we're good enough we should be able to compete in nationals this year!"
"No way that's great!" Toshiko grinned.
"With how much Suko here practices I'd call foul if we don't," Tobio rolled his eyes. Suko's chest puffed out at Tobio's praise and her chin tilted upwards. Someone tapped Toshiko's shoulder and she turned, half expecting to see Shikamaru or someone else she knew, only to blink in suprise when a girl Toshiko was sure she must have had seen around town before stood before her.
She was obviously older then Toshiko, her thick bottlecap glasses made her dark eyes look wider then they were; the broken strands of her bleached blonde hair— which was lighter then Naruto's but still darker and more grey then Ino's —stuck up and out into the air and the white summer dress she wore looked more like a smock then an actual dress.
"Hi?" Toshiko smiled.
"Hi, I'm Hisajima Shiho-Uchicha Toshiko right?" Toshiko nodded, she took Shiho's hand and shook it. "You're friends with Nara Shikamaru right?"
"Yeah he's my best friend," Toshiko answered.
"That's sweet," Shiho said. Toshiko blinked; Shiho had said Sweet like it was anything but, she'd said it dripping with condescension. Suko crossed her arms over her chest, "So you would know if he's here right?"
"Yeah?" Toshiko said, "He is-somewhere?"
"You don't know?" Shiho wondered, her head cocked to the side, "He ditched you?"
"He did not," Toshiko snapped. Suko's head jerked back at the force Toshiko had responded with; Toshiko didn't get mad in public. Unlike Sasuke who wasn't— had never been —scared to raise his voice in front of a group of people Toshiko was always happy and if she wasn't it was because she was crying.
Even when debating in class her voice never rose.
Shiho smiled wryly at Toshiko, "I didn't mean anything by it, all I meant was-you're an incoming student this year, right? The youngest?" Toshiko didn't respond verbally, she simply nodded. "Well I'm sure Shikamaru just needed time away to do more mature things."
"Mature things?" Toshiko's brow raised.
"You don't know?"
"Shiho," Tobio snapped, "Do you want a drink or do you mind getting lost? For as smart as you are the longer I breathe the same air as you the more braincells I feel like I'm losing."
"You're losing braincells? Please, last year I ranked second and you were what? Thirty out of thirty-eight?" Tobio glared.
"Ranked second in what?" Suko asked, not loudly— so as not to draw everyone's attention —but loud enough for three pairs of eyes to dart over to her, "Being a bitch?"
Shiho's cheeks flashed pink, her fingers curled into balls at her side, and she turned away from Suko to look at Toshiko once more; though not before giving Suko what seemed to be the most evil look she could muster.
"Look all I want to know is where Shikamaru is, I figured I'd pay him back for the last party we were at together?"
"Shiho!" Tobio snapped.
"What? If the kid doesn't know because Shikamaru didn't tell—" Toshiko couldn't help but flinch at the words, "—She's bound to find out anyway. I was trying to be nice and not say it outright because I didn't know if Shikamaru was telling everybody or waiting—"
"—Waiting for what?" Toshiko asked, her mouth small and twisted.
"Shikamaru and I kissed." Toshiko felt her heart drop. She'd always known Shikamaru and her were just some pipedream, never to come true but there was something different between assuming and knowing. With assumption, you always had at least a sliver of hope; her and Shikamaru could always happen.
Maybe.
One day.
Knowing though, that they would never and she was right was like being told she and Sasuke were going to be moving all over again; cold and isolating and scary and so heartbreaking that Toshiko's throat wobbled.
"In a game of spin the bottle," Tobio pointed out; Who else had he kissed? Flashed through the front of Toshiko's mind.
"We still kissed," Shiho said snippily, she looked at Toshiko whos hands had flattened out at her sides. Toshiko could feel the tears she wanted to shed burn behind her eyes; a wheeze rattled in her chest as she breathed. "Look do you have any idea where he is?"
"No," Toshiko said quietly. Shiho flashed her an empty smile, her head cocked to the side and several strands of hair fell in front of her face.
"Guess I'll find him on my own, thanks though. See you at school," Shiho said before flouncing off, towards the living room. Toshiko pressed her lips together; she could feel Tobio and Suko staring at her.
I knew it was stupid, Toshiko told herself, Shika and I were-are never going to happen. Man up!
Toshiko turned towards the drinks; there were several different types of soda bottles littering the counter. Instead she reached for glass bottle of Yuzushu. Yuzushu was a lemony-sweet kind of alcohol; Toshiko knew it was made from Yuzu plants, a hybrid of a mandarin orange and the ichang papeda.
She also knew, that because of how sweet it was it tended to get people drunk faster then the gross starchy beers that sat in the cooler several feet away.
Suko grabbed Toshiko's arm, "Toshiko?"
Toshiko forced a wobbly smile, one that showed her tongue caught between her teeth and dropped every few seconds. "Shika was supposed to play beer-pong with me, I mean he wasn't supposed to but he said he would-I wanted to see if I could beat him. Cause you know he's sort of amazing at everything he dose but I guess that won't be happening now so why not drink? It's a party, right?"
Suko frowned but she let Toshiko's arm go, "Mix it with 7UP, my mom always mixes her sakes with soda so she doesn't get too messed up."
"Right," Toshiko nodded. She poured more Yuzushu then soda but it was close enough that Suko didn't bother to say anything.
Tobio shifted his weight and moved so that as Toshiko and Suko leaned against the counter he was in front of them.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom-wait here, both of you alright?"
"What are you my dad now?" Suko asked with no real malice in her voice. Tobio smiled gently at her and ruffled her auburn hair,
"No, I wish your dad's cool as shit-but you're my responsibility and Toshiko, no offense but if you disappeared off the face of the Earth and the last person you were with was me, I really don't need your brother coming after me, okay?"
"Got it," Toshiko said, raising her red solo cup in the air as acknowledgement.
"Great!" Tobio clapped his hands together and then he were gone; he had melted so quickly into the crowd of teenagers that had continuously overtaken the Inuzuka home it had been as if he had simply disappeared in a puff of cartoon smoke.
Toshiko took a long sip of her drink and though she felt her face twist at the taste of the sake— she wondered how Shisui and Obito drank that kind of stuff regularly as it tasted horrible —she continued to drink it.
"What classes are you taking this year?" Suko wondered, it was awkwardly asked and Suko looked somewhere between pity and awkward as she asked it but it was so obviously a lifebuoy Toshiko couldn't help the thankful smile she shot at the girl.
"AP's mostly-I'm Kureani's science class though."
"Oh?" Toshiko shrugged,
"I didn't score quite high enough in my science tests to qualify for Orochimaru-sensei or Kabuto-sensei classes but I'm not too broken up about that. Obi-nii says Orochimaru-sensei's been a creepy old man since he was a kid and Kakashi say's Kabuto-sensei is a freak who probably has dead bodies in his basement—" Suko let out a loud guffawing laugh. Toshiko turned to refill her cup as it had become mostly empty, "—So I'm not completely broken up with it."
"That's good," Suko replied.
"I've also got track gym with Gai-sensei," Toshiko grimaced. That, it was clear, Toshiko was broken up about.
"He's the teacher with those orange legwarmers and that—" Suko didn't say Awful hair, she hadn't needed to, she simply motioned to the area that was her face.
Toshiko nodded; "Lee started copying him a few years ago, apparently Gai-sensei really took him under his wing and now there's two of him." Kakashi had thought it'd been cute; Obito had nearly cried at the thought of two Might Gai's.
"I wouldn't mind being in your cousins class though," Suko nudged Toshiko.
"Gross," Toshiko said, "Besides he's gay?" Toshiko liked Kakashi but he was a dork. No one ever seemed to believe her when she said it— Toshiko had needed to take Shikamaru to Kakashi and Obito's home so that she could show him Kakashi's prized collection of badly written romance novels and the photo albums he had of his dogs in funny costumes —and she got it, Kakashi always portrayed himself as cool.
And in a way he was, if that way were a competition between himself and Obito.
"So? Since when dose that mean someone can't admire?" Suko wondered.
"Gross," Toshiko said; Suko snorted and for a few minutes the two girls allowed silence to before them; they could hear the music from the next room playing clearing in the drums of their ears. Toshiko's foot tapped to Drop It Like It's Hotwhen she finally finished her drink. She wasn't sure if— because her drink had been almost done when she'd refilled it —if that counted for a cup and a half or two cups but as she reached for her a third she couldn't find it in herself to care.
Not when Shikamaru more then likely had his tongue down Shiho's throat.
"Should you really be drinking that much so fast?" Suko asked.
Toshiko bit her lip. No, defiantly not, but Shikamaru was making out with someone else, her brother was in another city miles away with his boyfriend and her other brother was off living his own life while any other friends she had were doing their thing at the party.
Everyone was living their lives, why couldn't she live hers?
"It's a party right?" Toshiko smiled with a half shrug as she poured mostly alcohol into her cup. Suko didn't respond, instead she just turned away, her eyes glued to the party goers that littered the area around them.
Most of the ones who were in the kitchen were littered around the coolers of beer that Kiba had set up. Which Toshiko thought was nice because as she continued to drink— and drink, not even fifteen minutes after pouring her third cup Toshiko was on her fifth —she didn't want to move.
Or at least she didn't until she had to pee.
The room was fuzzy and lopsided, though not quite yet spinning, Toshiko pushed herself off the counter; Suko moved in front of her.
"Where do you think your going?" The archer wondered.
"Bathroom." Toshiko slow blinked, "I have to pee." Suko's unsure look deepened.
"Are you okay? Do you-do you know where it is? I can come if you want?" Toshiko shook her head, she placed her hands on Suko's shoulders.
"You're really nice Suko but I'm okay!" Toshiko's voice cracked and went up several octaves, her speech slurred together. "I've been to-to-to Kiba's house a hundred times," Toshiko said, drawing out the s-sound at the end of Times.
"I don't think you are Toshi," Suko said, her fingers hung off Toshiko's slightly bent elbows. The girls were usually about the same size— small —but Toshiko had been wearing chucky, platform sandals giving her nearly a full four inches on Suko.
"I'll be fine, I'll be right back," and then, before Suko could protest, Toshiko— on shaky legs —wandered out of the kitchen and up the stairs that were stationed next to it; everything looked like it were in a tunnel. Wide and misshaped, slightly off kilter; Toshiko apologized profusely to every person she knocked into, not that they paid her much mind as she made her way to the bathroom at the end of the second floor hall.
Toshiko knocked loudly once, and then twice as she wasn't quite sure if she heard an answer on the other side and then a third time for good measure before opening the door to use the restroom. Wide eyed and grinning at nothing Toshiko locked the door four times, before she moved to the toilet seat.
Several minutes later, as Toshiko— with wet, well washed hands and slightly blurred vision —hadn't been able to get out of the bathroom the first time she'd tried, Toshiko stumbled out of the bathroom and into someone's chest. Their hands went to her shoulders to stabilize her and Toshiko peaked up at them, with an apology half way out of her mouth, Toshiko saw Shibire.
"Oh," Toshiko said with a small smile, cutting her Sorry in half, "You're the creepy guy Ino said was creepy."
Shibire's head cocked to the side and his brow twitched; he grimaced down at Toshiko, "I wouldn't say creepy."
"Ino and Sakura would," Toshiko giggled. Shibire crossed his arms over his chest.
"You know the only reason those two think so is because I didn't bother asking one of them out."
"That's not what they said," Toshiko told in a sweet voice, "They said you—" she sang, "Prayed on girls and that-that Neji kicked your ass." If she hadn't been drunk Toshiko knew she wouldn't have had said any of that; she would have simply apologized for knocking into him and moved on. But she was drunk, and drunk Toshiko didn't— hadn't —realized her words had cause Shibire's eyes to spark indignantly.
"That Hyūga asshole didn't kick my ass!" Shibire took a step towards Toshiko, who stepped back and nearly fell into the wall, only to catch herself on it before she hit the ground. Shibire hadn't seemed to notice Toshiko's misstep as he continued to point at her, his voice raising, "My ass doesn't get kicked!"
"Really 'cause it's about to." Toshiko and Shibire looked to see Choji. His eyes were narrowed and his fists were clenched at his sides, his chest had been puffed out and with his hair slicked back and up like a porcupine, Toshiko couldn't help but think how much bigger Choji looked then normal. It was as if he had doubled in size.
"Cho!" Toshiko beamed. Choji moved— never breaking eye contact with Shibire —and grabbed Toshiko's hand. It was larger then Shikamaru's warmer too; it reminded Toshiko of the furnace her grand uncle had in their basement. Shibire was taller then Choji by at least a head and half but Choji was double Shibire's size.
Shibire let out a huff.
"Whatever," he muttered, "Bitches man," he muttered afterwards, about to storm off, only to squeak loudly when Choji pretended to lunge at him. Toshiko jerked back like Shibire had, more surprised then scared. She couldn't— for the life of her —remember Choji ever having tried to fight someone else; not even when, over the years they poked fun at him and taunted him with the word Fat. Without another word the older boy scurried off. Once Shibire was gone, Choji's shoulders lost his tension and he turned to Toshiko with a raised brow.
"You're drunk." He said it like he was telling her the weather; he'd stated it obviously. Choji had a small smile playing on his lips. Toshiko blinked at him.
"Am not."
Choji let out a laugh, "Right. C'mon." And off they went down the hall towards Kiba's room. Choji pushed open the door and Toshiko, despite being slightly intoxicated, expected to see one of three things; a mountain of coats piled on Kiba's bed, their friends, piled together in a circle playing a party game, or Shikamaru.
Toshiko found none of those things when Choji nudged her into the bedroom, instead she found Kiba, awake, laying spread-eagle on his bed and Akamaru laying next to him, his head and paws on Kiba's chest. Kiba turned his head— his skin was pale and there were bags under his eyes that hadn't been there before —and smiled at Choji and Toshiko, though his brows flew up at the sight of their joined hands.
"Kiba!" Toshiko cried, the hand that Choji hadn't been holding was thrown up in the air. Kiba's face was washed over with understanding; amusement sparkled brightly in his eyes.
"Hey Toshi," Kiba replied with a laugh, Choji took his hand back from Toshiko's and placed it on her shoulder, he moved her over to Kiba's bed so that she could sit only for Toshiko to fall on Kiba's legs with a laugh. Akamaru moved so that he was no longer laying half on top of Kiba but rather, sitting by Kiba's pillows.
"Can you keep an eye on her for a minute while I find Shikamaru?" Choji asked Kiba, only for Toshiko— too fast and in a way that made her head spin —sit up.
"No!" She exclaimed, "I don't-no Shika!" Both Kiba and Choji blinked at Toshiko in surprise; Kiba's brows knitted together while Choji's mouth opened.
"No Shikamaru?" Kiba breathed, Toshiko shook her head No. She frowned, suddenly very upset and all but sick at the thought of Shikamaru; she could practically see him and the girl from before— Shiho —interlocked in a kiss. The kind of kisses actors shared in movies, hot and heavy and more tongue and spit then seemingly natural. Not that Toshiko knew what was natural about kisses, she'd never had one.
Her chest had suddenly become heavy and her stomach twisted; it was as if her insides were made of snakes.
Choji kneeled in front of Toshiko, his hand on her knee, "Why don't you want Shikamaru, Toshi?"
Toshiko's bottom lip wobbled. She was pathetic, she knew her and Shikamaru had never been anything more then a fallacy she'd concocted, that they were never actually going to end up together, and yet it hurt.
"He's kissing that girl," Toshiko said, she spat the words That girl.Choji reeled back and Kiba made a choking sound and Akamaru pounced on him; "No Akamaru, I'm good!"
"You saw Shikamaru kissing someone else?" Choji asked in a measured voice. Toshiko shook her head,
"But she said they kissed last party and she said she was going to find him and he was already gone and-and—" Toshiko felt her eyes burn with tears, "—Shika won't tell me things?" It was more posed as a question as Toshiko wasn't sure what Shikamaru wouldn't tell her. Choji would know what Shikamaru wasn't telling her, "But that girl knows and they're making out right now!"
Toshiko felt an arm wind around her shoulders, she looked to see Kiba. Akamaru had moved so that he was on her other side, his golden brown eyes wide and adorable.
"Toshi, no-Shikamaru wouldn't make out with someone else," Choji said sternly. "He wouldn't."
"What girl are you talking about?" Kiba asked. Toshiko shrugged,
"Sh-Shinho? Shiho," she nodded. Choji let out a choppy breath, it sounded almost like a laugh.
"Toshi," Choji said, his hand moved to her shoulders, "Shikamaru kissed her once in a game of spin the bottle-but!" He emphasized, "Ino made him play and it's not like he'd ever kiss Shiho outside of the game. He wouldn't."
Toshiko didn't smile but her pout lessened. The heaviness in her chest didn't feel quite as heavy; "You're sure?"
"Pinky promise." Toshiko wrapped her slender finger around Choji's pudgy one. "Now, I'm going to get Shikamaru, okay?"
Toshiko nodded, Choji patted Toshiko head once he got up and smiled at her before she left. Once the door had snapped shut Toshiko turned to Kiba. He looked clammy and his shoulders rattled with every breath he took. Toshiko might have been intoxicated but still, drunk— tipsy —or not, she knew what Kiba in the aftermath of one of his seizures looked like.
The first time he'd had one in front of her— his very first seizure —had scared the ever loving shit out of her and the others; it wasn't something, no matter what state you were, forgot.
Toshiko placed her hand on Kiba's head, "You okay?"
Kiba placed his hand on her hand, a small smile on his lips, "Yeah I'm fine, some asshole decided to bring their own disco-ball."
"We should-should kickass. Their ass, I mean," Toshiko said, she tilted her chin up, her hand still on Kiba's head.
"Yeah?" Toshiko hummed in reply loudly. "We're not kicking anyone's ass Toshi," Kiba smiled. "Or, you're not."
"But why?" Toshiko asked in a high pitched voice, "I-I can fight." She then pretended to punch the air the way Kakashi and Obito had shown her. Her leg kicked up off the bed.
"Alright, alright," Kiba laughed as he patted Toshiko's leg down, "You're a killer—"
"—Hell yeah I am!" Toshiko once more pretended to punch the person who'd brought the disco-ball.
"Is Sasuke like this when he drinks? Do you know?" Kiba wondered interestedly. Toshiko shrugged, she knew her brother— and Naruto —had drank before, but she'd never seen it, nor had seen the the aftermath as both times the boys had crashed at Obito and Kakashi's place so as not to let Naruto's mother know they'd been drinking underage and not to wake Madara and her when they'd come home.
The door flew open; Toshiko, Kiba and Akamaru all jumped at the sound of the door hitting the wall behind it. Shikamaru had the knob is his hand while his eyes, far more open then Toshiko had ever seen them, scanned the room. His chest heaved up and down and quickly his face fell as his cheeks flushed a dusty pink.
His eyes were red, not like he'd been crying but red all the same.
"Shika!" Toshiko greeted warmly— her chest no longer felt tight and the snakes that had been her insides had stilled —while Kiba, with his hands out in front of him, cried, "Dude, my wall!"
Shikamaru removed his hand from the knob and clasped it to the back of his neck. "Sorry," he muttered as he stepped into the room, Toshiko clambered of the bed and stumbled into Shikamaru's chest, his arms curled around her middle whilst hers flung themselves around his neck.
Toshiko's nose scrunched up at the thick sent of spray on deodorant— the kind Naruto used; Axe—that covered Shikamaru, her head reeled back.
"Shika," Toshiko said, "You stink." Kiba let out a loud cackle from where he sat on the bed, Shikamaru's shoulders dropped more— if that were possible —and the ponytails boy smiled easily at Toshiko.
"Yeah I know Tosh, it's all I had in Dusty," Shikamaru told. Toshiko's head tilted to the side,
"Why were you in Dusty?" Toshiko wondered only to quickly realize that, He probably fell asleep. Shikamaru hadn't wanted to come to the party to begin with; Choji was right.
And though him being in Dusty didn't quite mean Choji had been right— or wrong —in Toshiko's hazy mind it was enough for the girl to safely assume her and Shikamaru's friend had been right. He hadn't been making out with Shiho. She let out a nonsensical, but pleasant sounding hum
"Choji said you we're drinking?" Shikamaru said. Toshiko nodded, "How much have you had?"
Toshiko but her lip before she held out five fingers, "Five but-but it wasn't ah-lot," Toshiko slurred when she saw Shikamaru's brows shot up, "Suko had me mix my cups with soda." Toshiko didn't tell Shikamaru— or Kiba, who sat on his bed petting Akamaru —she had stopped mixing her drinks with soda after the second cup and instead took to smiling up at Shikamaru.
He was so pretty it almost hurt. Toshiko reached up and cupped Shikamaru's cheek her thumb ran over the curve of his cheek and her fingers played with his his ear. His eyes were nice, hers were dark, so dark it was hard to distinguish the pupil from the iris but not Shikamaru's. Sure his eyes were slightly red but you could tell where his pupil started and his iris ended and you could see the faint smile lines begin to set in on his face and the mole he had on the underside of his chin.
"T-Toshi," Shikamaru coughed, he didn't move his face away, out from under her touch but Shikamaru's eyes darted upwards towards the ceiling of Kiba's bedroom. Toshiko didn't look away from Shikamaru though, how could she when he was—
"So pretty!" Shikamaru's grip on Toshiko's waist tightened inexplicably for a split second, his face turned the same color as tomato paste and Kiba cackled from his spot on the bed.
"And it's time to go home," Shikamaru said.
"But-but," Toshiko whined with wide eyes and a pout, "I don't wanna. I want to spent time with you Shika!"
Slightly mortifying crush on her best friend or not, Toshiko loved spending time with Shikamaru; she loved when they would sit in his backyard, only feet from the very woods they met in and cloud watch. She'd love it when he'd beat her in Shogi— and gloat about it —or when she'd practice dance in front of him and he'd call out the next move and tease her on whether or not she was Too slow.
"Yeah Shika!" Kiba echoed, "Toshiko wasn't to spend time with you," he teased.
Shikamaru shot the other boy a dry, slightly scathing look before moving so that only one of his arms were wrapped around Toshiko's waist; one of her arms fell and hung at her side. Toshiko gasped when an idea struck her, she stumbled and Shikamaru lurched forward to help steady her as her hands grabbed at his shirt.
"You should come over!" Toshiko said, "Sasu isn't home so you should sleep over! Like when we were younger!"
"I don't-Toshi we stopped having sleepovers for a reason."
"A stupid reason," Toshiko pouted. The two of them had stopped having sleepover a year or so before, after Toshiko had gotten her first period and the adults in their lives had come to the conclusion that while it was okay for boys and girls to have sleepovers, it wasn't for young women and men to have them. Which Toshiko thought was stupid but after that first time she hadn't dared tried to fight Nara Yoshino on it again.
Toshiko doubted anyone ever tried to fight the woman twice on something.
"Your ōoji-san will lock me in the basement if he finds he with you," Shikamaru said kindly. Toshiko's pout intensified.
"You wouldn't risk getting locked in a basement for me?" Kiba toppled over on his bed from laugher and turned so that his face was buried in his pillow.
"My mother will kill me." Toshiko continued to pout, Shikamaru met her sad, pitiful gaze and after a minute Toshiko could see the resolve in his eyes disappear. Shikamaru sighed; "Troublesome," he said affectionately. And though that wasn't an explicate surrender, it was enough— the defeat and resign —in his tone was enough to not only make Toshiko perk up but Kiba, who had turned on his side, to pretend to crack a whip.
"Come on," he said as he ushered Toshiko out of Kiba's room, though not before he flipped the epileptic boy off as he and Toshiko left.
"You're the best Shika, you know that?" Toshiko said on the staircase, she paused on the step above Shikamaru's, he still had to look slightly down at her, "You're smart-so, so smarts and you're funny and you're pretty. So pretty!"
"Toshiko," Shikamaru muttered, Toshiko shook her head, cutting off anything he'd had to say, "No, Shika listen, you're so pretty and funny and nice, you're my best-best friend and I like you so much, you're amazing you know that, right? Right?"
Shikamaru's expression turned soft, "Of course I do."
Toshiko hugged Shikamaru tightly and as she buried her face into the crook of his neck she let out a whine, "I want to marry you."
"What!" Toshiko let out a yelp as she— and Shikamaru —began to fall back on the stairs, only for her actual scream of terror to be caught in her throat when Shikamaru caught the railing.
Shikamaru had ended up another step below Toshiko, she moved her face from his neck and smiled when she saw Shikamaru already staring at her.
"What-no, I—" Shikamaru shook his head, "You know what, come on."
"Okay," Toshiko said pliably; she followed Shikamaru out of the house and down the block into the night, his arm always wrapped around her waist and her head every so often falling to his shoulder as they walked.
She couldn't help but want to look at him under the street lights. Thoughtlessly, the closer they got to Dusty, Toshiko ran a hand through Shikamaru's ponytail; while Toshiko and Shikamaru were always seemingly touching— his arm around her shoulder, their knees pressed against one another under a table top, their hands interlocked —Toshiko could count the number of times she had touched the older boys hair on one hand.
It wasn't because Shikamaru never let her— whenever she'd asked over the years he'd always let her, blushing and shyly of course, whether he'd admit it or not —but rather because there was something about touching his hair that was so incredibly intimate to Toshiko. She wasn't sure what it was, or why she felt that way; Itachi, who'd recently started working on his second Doctorate— this one in Psychology —had said it was because of the crash and how her hair had been shaved at such a young age after such a horrible and traumatic experience Toshiko couldn't help but, on some level, covet hair.
And maybe he was right, nonetheless though, whether or not her brother was right, steps away from Shikamaru's not-Jeep Toshiko tugged at the hair closest to the band in his hair and kept it taut as she ran her fingers through it, pulling Shikamaru's head ever so slightly back as she did it.
"You are so troublesome," Shikamaru said. There was no heat or malice, he said it the same way Obito called Kakashi a Moron or Mari would call Shisui an Ass; warmly and affectionately.
Toshiko smiled as Shikamaru unlocked Dusty's passenger side first. She'd been in a car a handful of times since the crash, her heart always hammered in her chest, and her throat always got tight. The first time she got in a car after the crash had been when her aunt had driven her and her brothers to Konoha and the woman had needed to drug her with three Benadryl and an apple juice.
"Yeah," she nodded as she slipped easily into the passengers seat, "But I love you so it's okay." Shikamaru dropped his keys, and blinked, her smile fell. That wasn't how the saying went. "You love me," she corrected.
Shikamaru, kneeling, with the keys in his hand looked up at Toshiko, suddenly looking far more haggard then she had ever seen him looking. Like the wind had been both knocked out of him and sucked in at the same time.
"I—" he sighed, "Troublesome," he said again, the same way as before though more to himself then Toshiko, like he was trying to remind himself of something.
"You know it Shika!" Shikamaru rolled his eyes as he stood, smiling softly at Toshiko has he gently and carefully closed the door. When he entered through the drivers side door Toshiko's head lulled to the side so that she could look at him, a soft, goofy smile on her face.
Shikamaru pulled the car from it's parking lot and while Toshiko would have usually been gripping onto the sides of the seats, trying not to think about how the last time she'd seen her mother half of the woman's face had been caved in and how quickly a car could fill with water she wasn't. Muddled thoughts swam pleasantly through Toshiko's brain as Shikamaru drove with extra care.
"I'm happy I met you," Toshiko said; Shikamaru's ears twitched but he didn't dare look away from the road. "So, so happy Shika. And I'm happy I met Choji and Ino and Sakura and Hinata but not as happy as I am when I think of how happy I am about meeting you. I love you." The car stopped short at a red light and Shikamaru's head snapped tp the side, "You're my best friend but I really really love you and I want to tell you that." A tear dotted the corner of Toshiko's right eye. Her bottom lip trembled.
"Hey," Shikamaru said, his hand left the steering wheel, and rested itself on top of Toshiko's, "It's okay, you don't have to cry."
"But-but," Toshiko began to blubber, "I have all these feelings and sometimes they-they feel like they're going to explode out of me." The light turned green but Shikamaru didn't bother driving off, instead he laced his fingers through Toshiko's as the jeep sat in the street, at the light. "I want to say all these all the time but I don't and that's okay you know, everyone is happy with me not saying the things I'm thinking but sometimes it hurts." Toshiko touched her chest with the hand that wasn't holding Shikamaru's.
"Then say it," Shikamaru said earnestly, his smile was gone but his eyes were burning.
"But people are happy," Toshiko insisted, "And if I say something they won't be. Like Tachi-nii, he left-he always leaves but I can't say anything to him because if I do, he'll be sad like he always is when he and Sasu fight and he'll think I don't love him but I do-I do! So much!" The tear that had dotted the corner of her eye slipped down her face. A second one quickly followed.
Toshiko didn't move to wipe the from her face, Shikamaru did. With his other hand Shikamaru moved in his seat so that while on of his hands was on Toshiko's lap, holding her hand the other was cupping her face; he used his thumb to wipe the trail of one tear and then the back of his knuckles to brush the second streak away.
"I know you do Toshi." The light changed red again as Shikamaru's hand slowly— so, so slowly; Toshiko could feel the warmth from his hand even after he had pulled it away —went back to the steering wheel.
"Then-then, you get why I can't tell him or you or anyone because if I tell them how I feel they'll be upset and then I'll be upset."
There was a beat of silence; the cicadas buzzed loudly outside the jeep in the quite streets of Konoha. Shikamaru breathed.
"You're sweet Toshiko," he told her, he paused, and though he looked like he wanted to say more he didn't. Instead he detached his hand from Toshiko's and placed it back on the steering wheel. Toshiko smiled at Shikamaru,
"No Shika, you're sweet," she said. Her heart picked up at the sound of Shikamaru's chuckle; she stared at him— took in the curves of his face and how no matter how dark or bright the jeeps interior got as they drove out and under from the street lights he always looked beautiful —as continued to drive through Konoha until they were— or at least in Toshiko's opinion —suddenly parked outside her home.
All the lights were off which was only slightly surprising as some nights, despite his age, Uchiha Madara could stay up later then both his great niece and nephew.
Shikamaru shut the car off, and when his seatbelt was only half way thrown over his shoulder he turned to Toshiko with his hand outstretched, "Where are your keys?"
"My pocket," Toshiko said.
"Right," Shikamaru said humorously, "Toshi I need your keys."
"Oh." Toshiko blinked, "Why?"
Shikamaru laughed, "So we can go inside."
"Oh," Toshiko giggled, she unbuckled her seatbelt and after half a minute of fumbling she balanced the ring of her keys on her finger; there were three of them. After Obito had moved out and in with Kakashi his anxiety had spiraled as he thought of everything that could go wrong with an eighty-two year old man and two young children all living alone.
Shikamaru swiped the keys from her with a sideways smile; "Shika!" Toshiko whined playfully, giggling over each word as she watched Shikamaru exit his side of the Jeep and move around the front towards her side, "Don't grab!"
"Sorry Toshi," Shikamaru said, opening her door.
"It'sokay," Toshiko slurred in reply as she said from her seat, "I forgive you!" Toshiko's foot missed the curb causing her to go flying forward and into Shikamaru's chest. Shikamaru's hands gripped at Toshiko's upper arms.
The keys fell to the grass with a clang and a thud.
"I'm sorry!" Toshiko said looking up at Shikamaru.
"It's—" Shikamaru paused as he collected Toshiko against himself, the pair of them more upright then they'd just been, "Are you okay?"
With a hum Toshiko nodded. And with one hand still on her arm, Shikamaru swiped the keys up from the ground before he wound his arm around Toshiko and, half a step behind her, began to walk her up to the house.
The automatic light went on as— Toshiko more so then Shikamaru —stumbled up the steps. Shikamaru's arm slipped from Toshiko so that he could use the keys to open the door Toshiko leaned against the wall; she took the moment to admire Shikamaru.
His tongue had gotten caught between his teeth as she tried to remember which keys opened up which lock.
The bright blue key was for the bottom lock, the hot pink one was for the first bolt and the green one was for the third lock and very top bolt.
Ever since he'd gotten his tongue pierced bitting his tongue had become a tick of his and for the life of her Toshiko couldn't find it anywhere within herself to care. He looked adorable trying to figure things out, with his brows creased and tongue half out.
"You're so pretty Shika," Toshiko mumbled as the boy pushed open the door.
"You said that before Toshi," Shikamaru said as he pushed the keys into his pocket and once more wrapped his arm around Toshiko.
"Yeah but no one ever tells you enough. I don't. You're so pretty." Shikamaru blew a short breath of air out of his nose; once his shoes had been toed off he used the bottom of his heel to close the front door.
Toshiko, who had watched Shikamaru toe off his sneakers had tried to do the same to her own, seemingly having forgotten that she was wearing sandals.
Her shoes went high up in the air before they landed on the floor with a girlish giggle and two loud and resounding flops.
Shikamaru let out a sound that sounded like Troublesome before he started to lead Toshiko towards the staircase only to pause when Uchiha Madara poked his head over the railing.
"Toshiko? Is that you?"
His hair, as per usual, stuck up in several different directions though the robe he wore was different from his day robe. That robe was black, and reached the floor, looking far more like a cloak. This robe was a dark maroon sort of red and stopped at his calf's.
"Ōoji-san!" Toshiko cried happily. Madara let out a long suffering sigh,
"You're drunk."
"Not-uh, you're drunk uncle!"
"With all you kids I should be," Madara replied. "Nara, you brought her home?"
"Y-uh. Yes," Shikamaru stuttered.
"Hey ōoji? Ōoji-san?"
"Yes Toshiko?" Madara responded, his chin in his hands.
"Can Shika sleep over? Please?" Toshiko wondered with wide eyes and a quivering lower lip.
"Are you taking anyone else home?" Sometimes Toshiko liked to imagine what her grand uncle Madara had sounded like when he was younger. Strong and commanding she liked to think. In his old age his voice had become raspy and dry, like he was dull with life and after living so long Toshiko wouldn't put it past the old man to be.
"No sir," Shikamaru said. Madara let out a noise of contemplation.
"It would be nice not to have to walk up all those steps to make sure she hadn't choked to death." Madara let out a sniff. "The door stays open and Nara."
"Yes?"
"Call your father. The only thing worse then your mother is when your father gets anxious," Madara told Shikamaru and though the boy made a sound of protest from the back of his throat— like he didn't think a worried version of his father was worse than any form his mother could be in —he nodded.
"Right then, Toshi?"
"Yes ōoji-san?"
"Sleep well. I hope you had fun." And because she had drank some at the part and because it was dark in the hall, on the stairs Toshiko would never for sure say she saw it— and neither would Shikamaru —but from where she stood, to Toshiko, it had looked like Uchiha Madara had smiled at her.
Truly smiled at her.
Toshiko nodded at her grand uncle, "Love you ōoji-san!"
"Good night Toshiko-feel free to borrow a pair of Sasuke's pants Nara!" Madara called out over his shoulder as he turned away, back towards his room.
The two teenagers only started moving once more when they were both sure they'd heard the click of Madaras bedroom door.
After several minutes of— Toshiko —stumbling up the second flight of stairs and to the third floor of the house Toshiko— and Shikamaru —fell through her bedroom door with a laugh; while managing up the steps Toshiko had told Shikamaru he should borrow the ramen sweatpants Naruto had left the last time he'd slept over.
I think I'd rather die, Shikamaru had responded dryly before he nudged Toshiko in the direction of her bed. She fell against the mattress back first and with a giggle and a bounce. Her arms outstretched at her sides.
"You're the best Shika," she said as Shikamaru pushed her against the wall so that, once he changed he could simply slip into the bed, "Really. My best friend."
"You're my best friend too Toshi," Shikamaru responded gently as he pulled her covers over her. Though jeans felt odd as Toshiko curled onto her side Toshiko hadn't say anything.
Toshiko caught Shikamaru's wrist before he could turn and slip into Sasuke's room.
"Love you," she said. "Lots," she slurred. The S had sounded much more Z-ish then it should have. Shikamaru paused before he sat down on the edge of Toshiko's bed, he lifted his wrist up and, never looking away from Toshiko, pressed a soft kiss against the skin on the back of her hand.
Toshiko felt her cheeks burst aflame; Shikamaru smirked.
"I'll be right back," he told her, his voice low. Wordlessly— her tongue suddenly too heavy to love; to speak —Toshiko pulled back her hand and nodded. Her eyes never leaving him until the door to Sasuke's room closed.
And though she meant to stay awake until he emerged, Toshiko, under the weight of her blanket and modeled against her pillow began to fell her eyes droop down.
Her last coherent thought had been how much fun she had, had that night, and just how much she loved her friends; Shikamaru being the friend at the forefront of her mind.
The morning following the party Toshiko woke up, still in the clothes from the night before, hugging her pillow, suddenly understanding why people didn't drink. Her head pounded and ached, the room slowly— but at a steady pace —spun as she moved her pillow to the side so that she could sit up.
Mamarou stood upright at the end of her bed. She did not remember placing him there; Toshiko's eyes narrowed, come to think about it, Toshiko couldn't remember much of the night before. She had danced with Sakura and Ino, and Suko and Tobio— she remembered talking to them because Shikamaru had disappeared on her —and that girl. Shiho.
Toshiko felt the sickly feeling she'd felt the night before when Shiho had bragged about her kiss with Shikamaru rise up within her once once, only this time with a vengeance and a metallic taste that swirled in her mouth.
I hate my life, Toshiko thought with a silent sob as she laid back down on her bed. I hate drinking. She didn't dare think about how she hated Shikamaru though, even if he had kissed someone else. He was free to do so, they weren't together.
Toshiko's bedroom door opened and she turned slowly— with a painful groan reverberating in her throat —expecting her grand uncle or cousin, or even her brother if it were late enough in the day to be standing in the door way, not her best friend and object of her secrete affections, Shikamaru.
"Shika?" Toshiko croaked; Shikamaru had a plate of food in one hand and a glass of what looked like ginger ale in the crook of his arm. He had bags under his eyes and was wearing a pair of what Toshiko instantly recognized as Sasuke's school tracksuit pants and the same shirt he'd had on at the party the night before.
"Holy shit you're up," Shikamaru said in a tone of surprise.
"Wish I wasn't," Toshiko grumbled as she threw her arm over her eyes. Maybe if she turned off all the lights— the sunlight peaking into her room —her head would stop beating like a drum. Toshiko didn't bother moving her arm when she felt Shikamaru sit down next to her.
All she could hear in the back of her mind was Shiho telling her how they had kissed. Toshiko wondered what it was like; she'd thought about it enough.
"Hey," Shikamaru said breaking her out of her train of thought, Toshiko drew her arm down and saw that while the glass of ginger ale had been placed on the bedside table, Shikamaru had a plate of ketchup covered scrambled eggs and an already unpeeled orange.
Even the piths had been peeled off the fruit. Shikamaru had taken his time peeling the orange for her, he'd gone out of his way to take her to the party the night before and cared enough to check in on her the morning after. Toshiko stared at the pithless orange on the plate; a lazy person— a truly lazy, selfish kind of person, the kind of people everyone always seemed to think Shikamaru was —wouldn't do that for someone else.
They might peel the orange but they wouldn't take the time to meticulously peel each and every pith off. He cared, about her.
"Thank you," Toshiko said as she slowly at up in her bed; Shikamaru's bent knee pressed against Toshiko's thigh as she took the plate from him. She picked up the orange and broke it in half, wordlessly she held out half form him and he took it, his fingers brushing against hers, and though only minutes before she had been thinking about how much it hurt to know he had kissed someone else Toshiko couldn't help but tell herself how she couldn't lose this.
Couldn't lose Shikamaru.
"How are you feeling?" Shikamaru asked as Toshiko broke off one of the orange pieces to eat. "You were pretty—" he paused, "—Out of it," he said slowly.
"I'm fine," Toshiko lied, Shikamaru shot her a dry, unimpressed look.
"You drank five cups of sake last night and you're fine?" Shikamaru called, "Toshiko, come on."
She sighed.
"Everything hurts," Toshiko said as she plopped the piece into her mouth, "No wonder Choji always says he's not doing it again." Shikamaru hummed. "Thank you," Toshiko said again, "You didn't have to babysit me last night and you didn't have to come back over this morning—"
"—I didn't," Shikamaru interrupted, his brows furrowed together, "You don't remember?"
Toshiko's brow rose, "Remember what?"
"I spent the night."
"You did?" Toshiko asked incredulously. Shikamaru nodded, "But your mom!"
"I called my dad," Shikamaru shrugged, "Like I said you were pretty out of it and what kind if man leaves their best friend alone the first time they get drunk?" Toshiko thought her heart might burst and it might have if not for the reminder of Shikamaru disappearing at the party and that girl.
Blonde hair had never looked so obnoxious, so ugly before.
Toshiko ate two more pieces of the orange, the fruit suddenly feeling very heavy on her tongue and sour going down.
"Why did you drink?" Shikamaru asked Toshiko, he passed his half of the orange from palm to palm.
"What?"
"Why'd you drink, you said you didn't want to and next thing I know you're trashed." Toshiko just shrugged and set the last piece of her orange down in favor of picking up the chopsticks that had set on her plate so that she could start eating her eggs. "Did someone pressure you or something?" Shikamaru asked.
"No," Toshiko answered immediately, "No," she said softer, "I just felt like it," she lied.
"You felt like drinking five cups of sake despite never having drank before?" Shikamaru asked dubiously. It was obvious that he didn't by Toshiko's answer in the slightest.
"It was a party. I partied," Toshiko said. She took a bite of the eggs and though she was sure she was good she struggled to swallow the bite, suddenly overcome with the need to vomit.
She took a deep, steady breathe.
"You don't have to lie," Shikamaru said, his voice was hard and his face story but there was an almost sad look in his eyes that made Toshiko's heart sputter in her chest.
Why dose it even matter why I drank? Toshiko wanted to ask, What's the big deal? You were off making out with someone and I was getting wasted big deal. She of course didn't say that; it was rude and harsh and everything Toshiko kept bottled up inside of her.
Instead she blurted out, "Where'd you go?"
Shikamaru blinked. Toshiko blinked; she hadn't meant to ask that. "What?"
"You left, when I got done dancing you were gone. Where were you?"
Shikamaru's face darkened and his hand clasped to the back of his neck, "Oh. I was, Shino stopped by, I was with him."
"Shino?"
"Aburame," Shikamaru said, "He usually has sun glasses on."
He sounded familiar; no one had ever brought him around but when Toshiko thought of the name Aburame Shino a tall dark haired boy who always wore a thick, canvas hoodie came to mind.
"Wait," Toshiko asked, "Isn't he the kid who brought a tarantula to school?"
"Yes!"
"Shika you hate bugs." That wasn't a question but Toshiko's question was implied, If you hate bugs why were you talking to the Bug-Boy?
Shikamaru let out a low sounding laugh.
"I just really needed to talk to him." Even if Shikamaru's jaw hadn't twitched and even if his shoulder hadn't slumped downwards Toshiko would have known it was a lie from the way he'd spoke. There was a strain in the back of his voice; Shikamaru could bluff— he was the king of bluffs, especially in card games —but he couldn't lie to save his life.
Toshiko's eyes narrowed, a fire lit in her chest. The pounding in her intensified.
He was lying; that girl had been right. Shikamaru kept secretes and while everyone was entitled to them Toshiko felt angry. He wanted her to tell the truth but he was lying to her.
"Why are you lying?" Toshiko snapped. A million and one different feelings swirled inside of her, like a violent tsunami winds.
"What?"
"You're lying," Toshiko pressed. In for a penny in for a pound; Toshiko had already opened her mouth, she might as well commit. "Why are you lying?"
"I'm not—" Toshiko stopped Shikamaru's denial with the meanest look she could muster early in the morning and with a raging hangover. "Don't be a drag," Shikamaru muttered.
"A drag?" Toshiko scoffed, "You're the one being a drag Shika! You're lying!"
"Please!" Shikamaru snapped back, "So are you! You're always lying Toshi!"
"What are you even talking about!"
"Last night! In my Jeep you said you don't say what you're thinking!"
"What?" Toshiko whispered. When had she said that? What else had she said?
"Just tell me what you're thinking. Tell me the truth," Shikamaru asked. "Please." It was a plea, his voice was raw and layered in thick emotion. Toshiko knew there was more to be said, more Shikamaru meant but for the first time since she had met the Nara boy she didn't know what it was.
And it hurt. Hearing Shikamaru's voice so small and raw, pleading and emotional, hurt. All the words— the feelings —that had been building inside of Toshiko hurt.
But she couldn't tell him, because if she told him how she felt, what she thought, then she'd be laying her heart bare for him and to submit to being seen like that— to submit to Shikamaru seeing all of her —was mortifying. It made Toshiko feel sicker then any amount of sake ever could.
She reached over her plate of ketchup covered eggs, her fingers wrapped around Shikamaru's wrist. She could feel his pulse under her touch.
"I can't," Toshiko whispered. "You'll leave." You'll leave me, was what she'd meant to say. Shikamaru shook his head.
"No," he said, "I won't."
But he would. Everyone dose. That was what people did.
Toshiko shook her head this time, her eyes met his and while Toshiko was sure hers were pleading Shikamaru's were searching. Maybe for submission or maybe for something else.
"You will though—"
"—Damnit Toshiko," Shikamaru groaned. He surged forward and the plate of eggs fell off the bed and onto the floor with a flop as his lips covered hers.
As his lips covered her.
As he kissed her.
He had been kissing her; Shikamaru had kissed her.
Toshiko's hand— her fingers were wrapped around his pulsing wrist —moved with Shikamaru as he threaded his hand through her hair. His other hand cupped her jaw delicately. Like she were made of glass. Heat flooded Toshiko. Sparks radiated through her; there were no angelic choir or bright Hollywood lights that shined upon them but there was a heart swelling, almost dizzying click that sounded inside of Toshiko.
Toshiko had all kinds of ambitions in life, all sorts of dreams but she knew if she could— if she were permitted this one allowance —she wouldn't move from that spot. Wouldn't stop kissing Shikamaru.
Shikamaru's tongue traced along Toshiko's bottom lip and though her mouth opened he pulled away, flush and panting. His thumb rested under Toshiko's bottom lip, just touching it.
"Do you get it?" Shikamaru asked, his voice a whisper, "I'm not leaving you."
"I-I think," Toshiko gulped, "I think you need to explain it to me again." Shikamaru smiled crookedly.
"You are so troublesome," he murdered before swooping back down and kissing her again.
Maybe she had died. Maybe she had drank to much the night before and choked to death on her own vomit but as she continued to kiss Shikamaru in a way she had been hesitant to even dream about, Toshiko couldn't find it within herself to care.
Because she was kissing Shikamaru.
Shikamaru's hair had long come undone and his hair tie had been wrapped around Toshiko's wrist; the eggs had since been cleaned up and while both Toshiko and Shikamaru had brushed their teeth and changed— Shikamaru back into the pants he'd worn to the party and Toshiko into a pair of lilac pajama bottoms —since their first kiss he still hadn't left.
It was nearing noon and both Toshiko and he knew that sooner or later he'd have to leave to face his mother but every time one of them made the move to leave— Toshiko to check on her grand uncle or Shikamaru to most likely leave —the other always caught them, trapping them on top of Toshiko's floral covers.
"No wonder Ino was teasing me yesterday," Toshiko giggled, her nose pressed against Shikamaru's shoulder. Shikamaru had just admitted to having liked Toshiko since they were children; long before she had liked him.
"Oh?" Shikamaru's brow raised. Toshiko felt her cheeks flush pink.
"I asked her how I looked and she said that you'd-uh, like it." Shikamaru snorted.
"Understatement."
"I was wearing jeans and a shirt," Toshiko laughed.
"Jeans and shirt you looked good in," Shikamaru said with an eye roll, his hand moved from where it had been sandwiched between the two of them.
Toshiko's hand was threaded through Shikamaru's hair. After years of analyzing every touch, making sure she wasn't giving anything away— her feelings —it was nice to be able to touch Shikamaru again.
Toshiko giggled as Shikamaru dragged his finger against her stomach; when she'd changed in pajamas Toshiko had kept the butterfly shirt she'd worn to the party on, leaving, for the most part, her mid-drift bare.
He bobbed his face forward, his lips grazed Toshiko's when her bedroom door flew open. Shikamaru shot up and Toshiko rolled off her bed; Sasuke who stood in the doorway with his overnight bag over his shoulder stared at them with wide unblinking eyes.
"Nii-san," Toshiko smiled, "You're back!" Sasuke's eyes narrowed.
"Madara!" He called out loudly, Toshiko— though she wanted to throw up —scrambled to her feet.
"Don't you dare Sasu!" Sasuke dropped his bag and caught Toshiko around the waist. Her legs kicked the air under her as she tried to aim for her brother.
"Toshi and Shikamaru were sucking face!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.
There was a moment of silence before the unmistakable bark of laughter that was Uchiha Madara's echoed throughout the house. "Knew it! Wait until your brother hears!"
Toshiko wilted in her brothers arms; her family was embarrassing. Shikamaru caught her eye as he flipped back against her mattress, he smiled at her almost boyishly.
Toshiko supposed though, as her brother slowly lowered her back to her feet, Shikamaru was worth being embarrassed over; at least she had learned what his tongue ring had felt.
A/N: Hey guys, sorry for not updating in like a month, school's been kicking my ass, I just made the rifle team and I'm trying to unionize at work (though my boss just found out and threatened to fire me if I don't stop, which I don't plan on doing so we'll see if he goes through with it) anyway I hope you liked this chapter! And if if you did like the chapter, feel free to leave a comment down below and if you haven't already follow and favorite!
