"I burned so long so quiet you must have wondered if I loved you back; I did, I did, I do."

Chapter Seven


Fourteen year old Uchiha Toshiko was nestled between Shikamaru— her boyfriend; even after just over four months of dating she couldn't get over it, Shikamaru was her boyfriend —who was fast asleep in his seat and the train cars' large window as it rolled into Ueno station.

Toshiko gapped at Ueno station; despite the fact Toshiko had been back to Tokyo a handful of times since the crash that had killed her parents and uprooted her and Sasuke to Konoha— Shisui's mother had always paid for her ticket, determined to make sure that Toshiko was actually getting some kind of feminine influence outside of her friends in her life —she still felt an exhilarating rush run through her as the train came to a stop.

Though, Toshiko surmised, perhaps the rush was less from the familiar train stations sights and due to the fact she would be spending Christmas with her brother and cousin— and cousins' girlfriend; fiancé if he ever grew a spine and proposed —and Shikamaru.

I should be celebrating with Sasu-nii too though, a small voice in the back of Toshiko's mind voiced.

The ticket Shikamaru had used to board the train all the way back in Konoha had originally been meant for the middle Uchiha sibling after all; when neither Itachi or Shisui had been able to get enough time off work to justify the almost eight hour ride to visit, the pair of them— and Mari, who had recently moved in with them —had each pitched in the money to buy a pair of train tickets. Only Sasuke, like every time a trip to Tokyo came up, refused to go.

He'd cited his anger at Itachi just like always, stating how he didn't want to spend time with Itachi because he knew Itachi didn't really want to spend time with them because if he did, Itachi wouldn't be going for a second Doctorate, he'd have come home to Konoha and finally start being a real big brother after getting his degree in Bio-Chemical Engineering.

And though Toshiko hated when her brothers fought and Sasuke sulked and stewed, she didn't completely mind that her holiday would be spent with less fighting and more Shikamaru.

"Shika," Toshiko whispered, shaking the older teens arm, "Shika we're here." Shikamaru's brow creased and his lips twitched into a frown only for his face to smooth out when Toshiko pressed her lips chastely against Shikamaru's in a— successful —ploy to wake the boy up.

With a small smile Shikamaru's eyes fluttered open. He then pouted; "And my dream was just getting good."

"Yeah?" Toshiko asked standing from her seat. Her joints popped loudly as she straighten her back and threw her hands up over her head; Toshiko caught Shikamaru's eyes as he had been looking up at her through his lashes. She blushed a deep pink; he was always looking at her, always unabashedly and always with the same small but mischievous smile playing on the corners of his lips. Like he knew something she didn't and maybe he had; he was a genius after all.

"Come on," Toshiko muttered nudging Shikamaru's still bent leg with her knee, "Tachi-nii and Shi-nii are waiting for us."

"I'm coming," Shikamaru said with a half eye roll and a groan as he stood. He stretched from side to side before slumping forward and moving into the train cars isle so that he could grab both his and Toshiko's suitcases from rack above them.

His was a plain black; it was his father's, Shikaku had let Shikamaru borrow it for the trip. Toshiko's was shiny and pink, it had nearly two dozen different jelly stickers plastered all over it; Toshiko's favorite sticker being the squishy cake one that read, in the speech bubble above it, Cutie-pie!

Once Shikamaru had gotten both suitcases down and Toshiko had lead them off of the train, bouncing every step of the way the two of them paused in the bustling crowd of people. The pair of them craned their necks looking for either Itachi or Mari or Shisui only to— a moment or two after stopping —spot all Itachi and Shisui standing against a far off wall.

"Come on!" Toshiko hit Shikamaru's arm excitedly before she took off. She tore through the crowd, not bothering to pause when Shikamaru, chuckling— sounding somewhat exasperated —called out her name and to Slow down!

"Toad!" Shisui cried, he threw his arms and Toshiko— though usually annoyed by the childhood nickname —threw her own arms up.

"Shi-nii!" Happy tears dotted the corners of her eyes, after having thought for weeks that she wouldn't get to see either Itachi or Shisui until the following summer— being in Tokyo with them, only a few steps away —was overwhelming.

Shisui scooped Toshiko up into his arms; her feet dangled in the air. Whatever made the men in Toshiko's family so tall had skipped over her; where's Obito and Shisui and Itachi— and in the end, most probably Sasuke as he wasn't finished growing —were all over six feet Toshiko was average height and while she herself wasn't finished growing it was obvious she would never cap anything more then five foot three; or rather, one hundred and sixty two centimeters.

Shisui rocked Toshiko from side to side, the pair of them laughing loudly; besides them Shikamaru— who had finally made his way to the small family faction —and Itachi greeted one another. Shaking the other's hands.

"How was the train ride!" Shisui asked happily as he set Toshiko down.

"Good! Shika slept most of the ride," Toshiko grinned.

"It's an eight hour ride what else was I supposed to do?" Shikamaru quipped half smirking and leaning more on his left leg then his right. "Run along side the train?"

"You could've tried," Toshiko giggled over her shoulder at her boyfriend as she moved to her brother. Shikamaru's nose wrinkled and though Toshiko didn't quite catch what he murmured under his breath she knew Shikamaru well enough to tell from the glint in his eyes he was calling her Troublesome.

Where's some boyfriends would call their girlfriends cute pet names Shikamaru had taken to calling Toshiko Troublesome in a teasing voice; usually when he would call her Troublesome Shikamaru would wrap her hair around his finger and tug playfully at the dark tendrils.

Toshiko rolled her eyes half over her shoulder in Shikamaru's direction before she fell into her brothers arms; he smelled like spice and fresh flowers. His hair tickled the side of Toshiko's cheek. It had only just started to grow back in; the Chemo had caused clumps of it to fall out the year before which in short had lead to Shisui's mother, Sela shaving all of it off.

"I missed you nii-san," Toshiko whispered.

"I missed you too," Itachi said warmly, Toshiko's nails dug into the fabric of the jacket he had been wearing, pulling her older brother indefinitely closer— she and Shikamaru would only be in Toyko for a week and then Toshiko wouldn't see her brother for six or so months —before she slowly stepped away. Her hands though, lingered before Toshiko stuffed them deep into her own pockets.

"Alright," Shisui said clapping Toshiko on the shoulder, "We should probably get going."

Toshiko's stomach knotted itself together; she grimaced at the thought of Shisui's Red Robin and the fact it only had three wheels. Cars weren't supposed to have three wheels under any circumstances except for maybe horrible car crashes that had sent one wheel teetering off into the distance like some sort of vehicular tumbleweed.

Toshiko, with her tongue tied and palms sweating nodded at Shisui's declaration. She moved away from Itachi and to Shikamaru, whom she went to take her suitcase from only for the older boy to use his elbow to nudge her away. Toshiko raised a single brow.

"What kind of a man lets their girlfriend carry her own luggage?" Shikamaru asked rhetorically.

"One who wants to hold his girlfriends hand while they walk?" Toshiko reasoned, her throat tight. The thought of getting in a car had been something she'd had months to come to terms with and she had, she knew it was only reasonable to drive from Ueno station to Itachi and Shisui's apartment in Takadanobaba but reason hadn't stopped her mind from spiraling.

No matter how many years had passed or how many councilors she spoke to over the years, Toshiko still knew what a human face looked like when it made contact with a windshield. She knew what her mothers looked like and Itachi, he looked just like their mother. It wasn't that hard to overlap Itachi's face with hers; to picture what could happen to her brother if Shisui ever lost control of the car.

Shikamaru tilted his chin upwards, his gaze calculating. Though his fingers hadn't been pressed together like they usually were when he was in some deep thought Toshiko knew Shikamaru well enough to know he had been analyzing her, just as she knew, Shikamaru knew her well enough to analyze her.

Wordlessly Shikamaru handed Toshiko her suitcase; she moved the handle into her left hand so that her right could hold Shikamaru's. His fingers threaded themselves along sides hers. He squeezed at the joints of her fingers as the four of them walked from the station to the large multistoried parking garage across the street.

"How's work been?" Toshiko wondered as Itachi and Shisui lead her and Shikamaru up a ramp.

"Alright," Shisui shrugged. He worked as a copy boy at his university, "I walked in on two professors going at it the other day. One of them was my Intro to Coding professor last year." He giggled almost impishly towards the ends of what he had been saying.

"What were they fighting about?" Toshiko asked.

"What?" Shisui turned, his brows raised. Toshiko's own brows knitted together,

"You said they were going at it. What were they fighting about?" Several different things happened all at once; Shisui's eyes widened— they got an almost manic look in them, like he just couldn't wait for something —Shikamaru let out a low sound, something between a snicker and a cough whist Itachi turned and glared at Shisui the way he usually did when Shisui had done— or was about to do —something dumb.

The last time Toshiko had seen Itachi shoot Shisui that look had been when Shisui had taught then eleven year old Sasuke how to swear in German.

Shisui rolled his eyes and pouted; Itachi looked back at Toshiko. They were on the third level of the parking garage and instead of finding the car on that level the four of them continued up a fourth incline.

"What Shisui meant was he caught two professors being rather intimate in the copy room."

"Oh," Toshiko said, her head cocked to the side and nose slightly scrunched up, "Like making out?"

There was a moment of silence.

"Yeah," Shisui said, nodding his head.

"Why didn't you just say that? Saying that the professors were going at it makes it sound like they were having a full blown death match in the copy room," Toshiko said. Shisui turned forward and fished keys out of his pocket.

"Sorry Toad," Shisui said lightly.

"Stop calling me Toad!" Shisui turned to Shikamaru, grinning.

"Have you seen this picture of why we—"

"—You—"

"—Call her Toad?"

"No," Shikamaru shook his head. Shisui let out a cackle.

"This is great. Before she comes over for dinner I'm going to have to tell mom to bring her copy," Shisui said.

"Don't you dare Shisui!"

"But you look so cute in it Toad," Shisui cooed. Toshiko glared at the young man before she turned to her brother, a pout playing off her bottom lip.

"Nii-san," Toshiko whined. The corner of Itachi's lips twitched upwards.

"I don't know Toshi, it is a nice picture." Shisui threw his fist into the air; Toshiko, betrayed, glared at both Itachi and Shisui before she forced her face to smoothen out and a smirk to appear. She shrugged.

"Fine, show him, just know that I might tell Sela-oba-san about the time went out with Kiba's older sister and—"

"—Okay," Shisui cut Toshiko off, his cheek's read and eyes pointed, "Okay. No picture."

Toshiko flashed her cousin a bright smile; "Thank you Shi-nii."

Shisui muttered something under his breath and as they came to the very top of the parking garage Itachi and he began to lead Toshiko and Shikamaru towards where the had parked the car.

"I thought you didn't get why people blackmailed their family," Shikamaru muttered amusedly; Toshiko's eyes scanned the handful of cars that littered the top of the parking garage only to not be able to— for the life of her —spot Shisui's bright red three wheeled car. All the cars on the level were either black or dark blue or white.

Toshiko tore her eyes from the handful of vehicles and smiled at Shikamaru, "You," she said, "I don't get why you blackmail your family, you're dad's pretty cool. Shisui on the other hand—" Toshiko shrugged, cutting herself off.

Shikamaru's lips twisted upwards and Itachi and Shisui stopped in front of a familiar but old, blue van. Toshiko looked at Shisui who's hands had become deeply buried in his pockets.

"Oba-san let you borrow her van?" Sela had owned the old Volkswagen since the seventies; she loved it which while seemed odd as Sela looked far too uptight to ever be associated with the very symbol of Western Hippy-ness became almost laughable once you saw her next to the van..

Itachi and Shisui liked to say that her mother— Mikoto —used to joke that if Sela hadn't met Shisui's father she would have married the van.

"Oba-san knows how you get with Shisui's car." Death trap on wheels more like it, Toshiko thought to herself in reply with a mental eyeroll. And though a van in Toshiko's option wasn't much better then Shisui's three wheeled hospitalization waiting to happen she smiled, at both her brother and cousin. Toshiko knew she was loved, that people cared about her but it was in moments like those— where someone did some kind of small gestured to show how much she meant to them —that Toshiko felt her heart thump loudly inside of her chest.

"So," Shisui asked as Toshiko and Shikamaru set their suitcases and travel bags into the back of the van, "Do you guys need to stop anywhere before we head to the apartment? Drug store?"

"Nah," Shikamaru shook his head, he rolled his shoulders as he did so. Toshiko however did not answer, instead she looked to Itachi who's face had been titled upwards towards the cool winter sky. He looked content; happy.

Alive.

"Yo, Toshiko?" Shisui asked, snapping his fingers, grabbing her attention, pulling it from her brother.

"Sorry," Toshiko blushed, "What was the question?"

"Do you need to stop anywhere before we go to the apartment?" Toshiko thought; she knew where Itachi, Shisui and Mari all lived. Even if she didn't live in Tokyo she'd been born in the city— visited enough over the years to know a rough layout —and an idea plumed within her.

Toshiko though, wasn't sure if they idea had formed in her head or heart because she looked from Shikamaru to Shisui to Itachi and then back to her cousin, shifting on the balls of her feet as she did so; "Can we stop by the cemetery?"

A crease formed between Itachi's brows, his face was still turned up to the sky; Shisui's head jolted backwards.

"Really?"

Toshiko's cheeks got warm; "I want mama and papa to meet Shikamaru."

Shisui smiled, it was a warm but mischievous smile; the kind of smile he wore before good natured ribbing. "I don't know Toad," he said, "I don't think oji-san would be too happy to know his Princess was dating someone."

"Princess?" Shikamaru echoed, brows raised. "Your dad used to call you Princess?" Toshiko's head cocked to the side, had that been news to him?

"I never told you that?" Shikamaru shook his head; Toshiko made a sound in the back of her throat. She'd through it'd come up before.

"Our father was wrapped around Toshiko's finger from the minute she'd been born," Itachi announced, his face level and away from the sun. "Not that the adoration didn't go both ways."

"You were a daddy's girl," Shikamaru said in an almost awed sort of tone; he'd said it like he had just gone through some sort of revaluation. Like he hadn't expected that.

"Oh no," Shisui said, he slung and arm around Toshiko's shoulder, "Toshiko was the daddy's girl. She used to walk around their home in an old jacket of his and announce she would be the next Chief of Police 'cause she was going to be just like oji-san. You should have seen the look he used to get on his face when she'd that."

"Our father was capable of smiling," Itachi sighed; Shisui's rolled his eyes. He waved Itachi off and looked at Shikamaru,

"Only three people ever actually got any emotion out of that man: oba-san," he listed, "Mikoto had him pretty whipped from what I remember. Ōoji-san, now the old man could make Fugaku-oji-san's eye twitch and then Toad over here. Oji-san used to melt anytime she'd done something."

"He did not," Toshiko said embarrassedly. "He was just affectionate."

"Completely devoted," Itachi hummed. The van's trunk was shut and Shikamaru looked as if he had won the lottery as Shisui and Itachi walked towards the front of the van, all the while thinking of synonyms for doting and whipped.

"What do you call someone who's doing the besotting? The bestotter?"

"Besotted?"

"No that's someone who is, what's the word for someone who dose?"

"So Princess, huh?" Shikamaru asked. His voice had dropped and butterflies had erupted in Toshiko's stomach.

"What about it?" Shikamaru shrugged, he leaned back and looked at both Shisui and Itachi who had shut the doors behind them after having gotten into the van, the pair of them still going back and fourth on what other words they could use to describe Itachi and Toshiko's long dead father only to straighten.

Shikamaru's hand lifted and his finger wrapped itself around a strand of Toshiko's hair; he— lightly, teasingly —tugged on the dark strands.

"Nothing, Princess." Toshiko felt her face flush at the nickname. She hadn't known she'd missed it until Shikamaru had caller it; hadn't known she wanted him to say it again, call her that again.

She wanted to kiss him; Toshiko's eyes darted over to the mirror and saw Shisui looking at the pair of them, brows raised and tongue caught between his teeth. Toshiko hung her head instead of pressing a kiss against her boyfriends lips— because Toshiko knew if she kissed him Shisui would just tease her —and lead Shikamaru into the Volkswagen.

There was, after all, only so much blackmail she had against Shisui; but that didn't mean she hadn't thought of kissing her boyfriend— she was dating Shikamaru! —on the ride to the cemetery.

.0.0.0.

The cemetery was quite when the four of them arrived; they were quite. Silently, as they all walked up one of the many hills that littered the cemetery Itachi carried the flowers they had stopped to get before arriving at the cemetery. White gladioli and pink carnations; Shikamaru— who had worked part-time at the Yamanaka flower shop since he'd turned thirteen —had helped them pick them.

The four of them stopped halfway up the hill they had been ascending; clustered together were four graves, the headstones all resembled paper lanterns. The only difference between them were the names and dates that had been etched onto the stones.

Uchiha Mikoto, Uchiha Fugaku, Toshiko and Itachi's grandfather Uchiha Izuna and Shisui's very own father, Uchiha Kagami.

Toshiko could remember her parents funeral. She could remember how Itachi's eyes had been rimmed red and how she had clung to him and Shisui as they walked up to the headstones because Sasuke had still been in a coma at that time and how the air had felt heavy as people, one by one said goodbye and laid their flower at the base of the stone.

When it had been her turn, back then, Itachi had gone up with her. Shisui had been half a step behind them; Toshiko had laid two flowers down— one for her and one for Sasuke —and had asked her father to come back because she was scared and tired and back then, it had been him she'd run to when she had needed someone.

Itachi stepped up to the gravestones first; he set down the flowers and pressed his fingers against their fathers name.

They'd been fighting, in the days before the crash Itachi and Fugaku had barely been speaking— Toshiko could remember that the air around the two of them had been tense —it was why Toshiko and Sasuke had been fighting in the car, Itachi had refused to reign them in for their father and Fugaku had turned to tell them to knock it off only to loose control of the car.

Toshiko, who's hand had been in Shikamaru's brought him forward. Itachi stepped back and to Shisui who stood in front of his fathers grave.

"Mama," Toshiko said, "Papa. First off, Sasu-nii says hi. He and ōoji-san miss you two. Ōoji-san missed you too jiji," Toshiko said in the direction of her grandfather grave. Toshiko cleared her throat; "This is Shikamaru, he's my best friend-I know I've told you about him before. He's also my boyfriend now. He asked me a few months ago."

It'd been a few days after they'd kissed, Shikamaru had showed up to the Uchiha home one Saturday afternoon with a picnic basket and travel shogi board and taken her into the Nara Forrest; when the sun had begun to set and they'd packed the remains of their food away Shikamaru had kissed her again before asking if she— perhaps —wanted to be his girlfriend.

Ino had called it anti-climatic when Toshiko had retold her and the other girls— Sakura, Hinata and Suko —but Toshiko had thought it'd been nice. Maybe there hadn't been any background music and perhaps there hadn't been any heavenly light or whirl of wind that magically fluttered through the clearing they'd been in but it had been nice and sweet— and for Toshiko —enough.

"Anyway," she continued on, "I really, really like him." The word love was stuck in her throat; it was to early for Toshiko to say she was in love with Shikamaru even though she knew it to be true. You couldn't be best friends with someone for eight years and love them and though that kind of love was different from the kind of love you were supposed to have for your partner, what Toshiko felt for Shikamaru was real. "I think you would really like him too if you had got the chance to meet him. I mean, he makes me happy and he's smart and nice so I think you would."

There was more she could say; she could tell her mother's gravestone how Shikamaru worked part-time at the Yamanaka flower shop and nursery and how if she were there— if she were alive —they could talk gardening together because while Shikamaru didn't necessary like it he had picked up tips and tidbits from over the years, and she could tell her fathers gravestone how Shikamaru was so smart and how he loved shogi and could have— probably —beat him in game if they had ever been able to play against one another.

She didn't though. There wasn't a reason to this time; no one would be hurt if she expressed what she wanted to say but something lodged halfway down her throat stopped the words so like almost always Toshiko kept what she really wanted to say nestled deeply inside of her, buried in the back of her mind.

Toshiko looked to Shikamaru and nudged him forward so that like she had, he could talk to her parents gravestones.

Shikamaru's chest puffed up; his shoulders ruffled. He looked like a bird on a branch, ready to present themselves.

"Fugaku-sama, Mikoto-sama, it's a pleasure. I've heard so much about you two."

Not enough— in Toshiko's option —if he hadn't known Toshiko's father had used to call her Princess, but enough to know that one of her earliest memories was of Fugaku bringing her to work with him. It'd been the middle of summer and both Mikoto and Sasuke had been sick and Itachi had been with Shisui for a week or two up in Konoha, which had left Fugaku to lead Toshiko around his precinct's building, introducing her his colleagues like Tekka-san and Inabi-san and giving her one of the fake plastic badges school children who visited on class trips usually got.

Shikamaru's eyes flickered from the gravestone to Toshiko, a small smile on his face before the once more landed on her parent's name. "I'm sure if you were here you'd give me some kind of talk-don't hurt our daughter and all that. I won't," there was something warm in his voice. Fierce. Determined; like he was making a vow. "Toshiko is important to me so you can both trust me to look after her at home."

Blood rushed to Toshiko's cheeks; "You don't have to make it seem like I'm hopeless," she grumbled embarrassed, "I can take care of myself." In fact Shikamaru was far more reckless then she was. The kind of trouble he'd gotten into at the start of the month had been enough to nearly bring Shikaku to his knees.

"You made Ino's cousin cry last month." Shisui, who had obviously been listening in let out a bark of a laugh as Toshiko's shoulders raised in chagrin.

"It's not like he didn't deserve it," Toshiko mumbled.

Yamanaka Masao was a rude boy in Toshiko's grade. He's always been rude, always pulled on Toshiko's pigtails on the playground when nobody had been around because she hadn't been able to speak out about it and whilst his bullying had been annoying and hurtful Toshiko hadn't made him cry the month before in revenge.

She'd made him cry because when their class had been given the topic of gay marriage and if it should be legalized to debate had said something about same-sex couple's being disgraces and abominations. Naruto and Sasuke hadn't come out of the closet as of yet— Shikamaru had only just found out the week before he and Toshiko had left for Toyoko simply because neither Sasuke or Naruto had fully closed Sasuke's bedroom door and Shikamaru had seen them making out —so Toshiko knew she couldn't get riled up and hit the older boy like she had wanted to.

Instead she'd just ripped him to shreds verbally, the way Madara and Kakashi— and Itachi; not Shisui, Sasuke or Obito though, they were all more likely to settle their scores physically —had shown her over the years.

Soku had said she's been terrifying; that her eyes had gotten darker and it was almost like her dark intent had become palpable as Toshiko had verbally eviscerated Ino's cousin.

"No one's saying he hadn't," Shikamaru hummed, he threw his arm over Toshiko's shoulders. Toshiko half shrugged in response, not even Ino had said she's gone to far. Apparently even she thought her cousin was something of a Shithead.

Itachi, from the corner of Toshiko's eye could been seen checking his watch. He whispered something to Shisui and the eldest of the three Uchiha's nodded. Itachi leaned past Shisui; "Toshiko, Shikamaru, we should get going. Oba-san said she would be at the apartment around six thirty."

"What time is it now?" She and Shikamaru had gotten to Ueno station around four; they'd left Konoha at— in Shikamaru's opinion —the ungodly hour of eight in the morning. They had spent time buying the flowers and gotten to the graveyard a half hour or so after that and though it hadn't been long, it had probably been another thirty minutes since they had parked.

"Almost five thirty."

"Alright," Toshiko nodded. She bent down into a crouch and touched her parents gravestones, the pads of her fingers ran over their names. She wanted to beg her parents to come back the way she had after they had died, the way she always did when she visited because she missed them.

There was an ache inside of her, one that longed to experience her mothers embrace once more and her fathers hand on her shoulder. One that wanted to rewind the hands of time so that she could go back to the night of the crash and stop herself from fighting with Sasuke and her father from losing control of the car but then, as she opened her mouth to do so— to, in a wobbly voice, tell her parents how much she missed them —she remembered Shikamaru.

The boy she had loved for years.

The one she wouldn't know if her parents had lived and she had stayed in Toyoko. If her parents were alive they would have loved him, Toshiko was sure of that, but she was also sure they wouldn't know him. She wouldn't know him.

Sasuke often said the Uchiha were cursed. Toshiko had never been able to tell if he was joking; he would cite how everyone but Madara seemed to die young, from Madara's brothers to nephews; to them too probably. Madara had heard Sasuke once and chuckled; he'd agreed. The Uchiha seemed to be cursed; again— like with Sasuke —Toshiko wasn't sure if her grand uncle saw their family as cursed or was morbidly musing.

Toshiko looked over her shoulder, at Shikamaru; Cursed, she thought, Isn't the word I would use for a life with him in it.

.0.0.0.

Mari was outside the apartment waiting for them when they arrived. Her dark brown hair had been braided into twin tailed braids and though it was freezing all she wore under the long pair of paint splattered overalls she had on was a dark, woolly turtleneck.

Toshiko was the first out of the van. Her arms outstretched over her head and a large grin painted onto her face. "Mari!"

"Toshi" The older female shouted in the same jubilant tone as she threw herself at Toshiko. They pair embraced one another tight enough Toshiko— for a split second —wondered just how dark the bruises she would have the following day would be.

They pulled away from one another, Mari's face lit up as she looked Toshiko up and down. "Your hair grew out!"

Toshiko nodded; months prior, at her birthday Toshiko's hair had settled slightly below her shoulder blades. And while the average length human hair grew a month was only supposed to be half and inch, Toshiko's seemed to grow more then that as hers had grown to stop just above her naval since then.

"Babe!" Shisui whined, Toshiko half turned to see her cousin pouting. The three young men— boy's really; even if Shisui was closer to his mid-twenties then teens he was still a child a heart —had all gotten out of the van.

"Don't babe me Uchiha, you left a pile of dishes in the sink this morning!"

"Itachi was the one who made the eggs!"

"You let nii-san cook?" Toshiko raised her brow. It wasn't that Itachi was a bad cook— unlike Obito he could be left alone in the kitchen without supervision —it was just when it came to food, Itachi was a bit neurotic; cooking the same dish over and over until it came out perfect or he ran out of ingredients.

"I woke up late and Mari had left for work." That explained it.

"Can anyone in your family cook?" Shikamaru asked.

"I can cook," Itachi said,

"Cooking just brings out Tiachi's OCD."

"Brings out?" Toshiko snorted, she moved in tandem with Shisui, her cousin took her spot in front of Mari so that he could wrap his arms around her. Toshiko smiled at the sight of her cousin burying his face in the crook of his girlfriends neck, looking so in love it was almost gross.

"Shisui," Mari laughed as she squirmed out from Shisui's bear hug, she held her hand out in front of Shikamaru, "I know we've met once or twice but I'm Ito Mari."

"Nara Shikamaru," Shikamaru said with a bow of the head as he shook Mari's hand. Mari beamed as she took her hand back, she looked as Toshiko and motioned her head towards the building she, Shisui and Itachi all lived.

Toshiko moved so that as they entered the building she was next to Mari. "How was your trip?"

"Good!" Toshiko chirped as they ascended the stairs; the three young adults lived on the second floor. "Shika slept most of the ride so I did sudoku." She also doodled in the margins of her sudoku pages but Toshiko hadn't felt like that was anything worth mentioning as she could draw as well as Obito could cook.

"That's cool," Mari said as they got to the apartment; Mari hadn't taken out her keys— apparently having not locked the door —and instead just pushed open the door.

The three of them— Mari, Shisui and Itachi —all lived in a tiny two bedroom apartment. The apartment was long where it wasn't big; the kitchen and the bedrooms were in the back of the apartment, straight ahead from the front door while the living room-slash-dinning area was right there when you entered.

The kitchen table was pressed up against one wall while the television sat adjacent to it and a futon sat in the middle.

After having shuffled in, Toshiko and Shikamaru set their luggage down next to the futon, Itachi locked the door behind them.

"You can put your stuff in the corner over there Shikamaru, Toad you're bunking with 'Tachi." Toshiko frowned,

"But nii-san kicks," she whined. Both Toshiko— and her brothers —had their idiosyncrasies when it sleep. Itachi moved so much that not even a California size would be big enough to avoid getting kneed in the shin by his bony legs while Sasuke tended to slept with his eyes opened; Toshiko had been told she talked nonsensically when she slept deep enough.

"Well you're not sleeping with me," Shisui responded, his arm over Mari's shoulders, "I already got someone to bunk with." Mari let out a giggle as Shisui placed a kiss against her check once, then twice, then a handful more times before pushing him away.

Toshiko rolled her eyes at her cousin, he and Mari were just so cute sometimes.

"Then why can't I just sleep with Shika?" Toshiko rolled her eyes, Itachi seemed to have frozen where he stood with his back to them and his coat half way up on the rack, "It's not like we don't sleep together at home."

Shisui blinked. Shikamaru made a wounded sound in the back of his throat, Toshiko, wondering what was wrong with him, looked at the boy from the corner of her eye. Itachi spun on his heel.

"You two—" Shisui choked, his lips looked small as they pressed together. Toshiko's brows furrowed together.

"What?"

"Dose ōoji-san know?"

"Dose Sasuke?" Itachi's voice was somehow both rough and high-pitched. Both strangled and coherent; he glared something fierce at Shikamaru. Shikamaru, half behind Toshiko, looked anywhere but Itachi and Shisui.

"Of course?" Toshiko blinked, "I mean ōoji-san has us keep the doors open—" Itachi stepped forward,

"So you two sleep together at home?" Itachi stressed.

"I said that?" Shikamaru placed a hand on Toshiko's shoulders, Itachi's eyes flew from Toshiko's face to her boyfriends hands. His eyes looked almost red in the light.

"We take naps," Shikamaru said, his voice tight and squeaky; it reminded Toshiko of when he'd gone through puberty and his voice would crack at every other word. "After school-weekends after dance or shogi practice. Naps."

Well duh, Toshiko thought, What did they think I—her thought was cut off midsentence and like the ACME anvils always did with Wile E Coyote, it hit her over the head.

"Ew!" Toshiko said loudly drawing all eyes to her. Her nose scrunched up and her eyes shifted between Itachi and Shisui, "I can't believe you two thought-I'm fourteen!"

Pink and red blossomed on her brother and cousins faces. Itachi's hand clasped to the back of his neck.

"So what if you're fourteen, someone's never watched reality television," Shisui murmured.

"Re-Shisui!" Toshiko whipped around and grabbed one of the decorative pillows on the futon so that she could throw it at Shisui only for— as Shisui stepped behind Mari for protection; "Are you seriously hiding behind me!" —Shikamaru to reach around Toshiko's waist with one hand and grabbed the pillow with the other.

"Shika!"

"Don't be a drag," he said; it wasn't dry like the tone he usually used when he told Ino to drop something or cutting like when he would make fun of Sasuke but instead, sweet. Warm; Shika was never anything but warm with Toshiko.

Still though, warm or not, as Toshiko allowed Shikamaru to tug the pillow from her he pouted. Shisui stayed behind Mari and Itachi looked as if he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him whole which made at least three of them as Toshiko was sure— going by the red that had dusted itself over Shikamaru's face —her boyfriend was in the same boat as her and her eldest brother.

"Get off me," Mari muttered fondly as she lightly elbowed Shisui and stepped away from him and though he released her without complaint, Shisui shot his girlfriend a puppy dog-eyed look. "Toshi, wanna help me get dinner ready, Shisui and Itachi are going to move the futon and tale out here."

"Sure," Toshiko said, anything to get away from her brother and Shisui; she turned her neck to look at Shikamaru, "Wanna help."

Before Shikamaru could voice what he wanted— Toshiko knew her best friend well enough that his answer would be a resounding yes —Itachi spoke, his voice once more calm and measured but his eyes enflamed and guarded; "Actually Toshi, Shisui and I could use his help out here."

"Yeah!" Shisui added, "And we can get to know him better!"

Toshiko sent both older males a flat and dry look; it was the same kind of look Madara tended to shoot Obito or Naruto whenever one of them was in the house. It wasn't like he hadn't already gotten the shovel talk from Sasuke and Kakashi; Madara had simply given Shikamaru a scathing look before making a vague threat about the houses basement— a comment which Shikamaru lorded over Toshiko's head, "I told you he was a serial killer who kept the bodies down there," —while Obito had simply congratulated them on both finally opening their eyes; "Honestly," Obito had said cheerily, "I thought you two were going to dance around each other for another ten years."

"Nii-san."

Shikamaru let out a sigh, "It's fine," he said as he set the pillow on the couch, "It's not like I didn't see this coming when you asked me to come down with you."

Toshiko raised a brow; she wasn't above using Mari to get Itachi and Shisui to play nice, nor was she above crying to Sela, the only woman both her brother and cousin were actually scared of.

"If you're sure." Toshiko squeezed Shikamaru's hand before it dropped from her waist; the kitchen wasn't even a full several feet away and with a paper-thin wall separating it from the living-slash-dinning room area, she would hear Itachi and Shisui if they tried to kill Shikamaru.

Probably.

Toshiko flashed Shikamaru a small smile before Mari and her disappeared behind robin blue walls; the kitchen, like the rest of the apartment was tiny. There were already two pots on the stove set to a boil and rack of seasonal vegetables had been set to warm in the brightly lit oven.

Toshiko's eyes swept across the kitchen before they landed on the orange tinted fridge. Pictures and postcards littered the refrigerator. The one that caught Toshiko's eye though wasn't the picture of her and Sasuke that had been taken the year before, the pair of them had been placed in glittery Santa caps, nor was it the elegant looking get well card from someone named Inzumi— whoever Inzumi was she had spent more then just pocket change on the card —it was the lime green post-it note that was obviously meant for Itachi.

Don't die asshole.

"Uh, Mari?" Toshiko pointed at the post-it note. Under that simple— rude but seemingly well meaning message —was not only a name—Deidara —but frowny face but a crudely drawn middle finger and a pile of poop in the corner with an arrow pointing to it; the arrow was simply labeled You.

Mari followed Toshiko's extended finger and snickered; "Deidara's a boy I grew up with, he goes to a film school near Taito City so he stops by for dinner every so often so we can catch up. Your brother and him didn't necessarily get along when the met." Mari's smile turned almost mischievous, "They still don't actually."

"Oh?"

"Yeah, but that doesn't mean Dei wants to see Itachi dead, after your brother was diagnosed Dei dropped by for dinner and stuck that there."

Toshiko looked at the post-it note once more and blinked; "That's sweet. I guess." Mari chuckled;

"Pull out the eel in the fridge?"

"Sure." And after Toshiko had shut the fridge and moved so that her side was pressed up against the kitchen counter whilst she stood next to Mari who stirred the large pot of broth.

"How's school been?" Mari asked, "Exams went well? Is everyone being nice to you?"

"Everyone's being nice," Toshiko said; and while it wasn't exactly the truth, there were people who went out of their way to try to ruin Toshiko's day— like Ino's cousin, the boy she'd met at Kiba's party Shibire and that girl Shiho; Shiho spread nasty rumors and Shibire had a tendency to accidently knock into her in the halls and up until she'd made Ino's cousin cry in class he had liked to call her names in passing —she had enough people she loved to help her balance her day out.

For every rumor Shiho tried to spread Hinata was there, telling her the plot to a new shōjo-ai manga she had just started reading and for every bump or knock Shibire sent her way someone— Shikamaru, Sasuke, Naruto —was there to help her collect her stuff and pick her up, and for ever nasty remark Ino's cousin hissed her way Suko and Sakura were there to remind her just how amazing she really was.

"That's good. And Sasuke, people are being nice to him?" Unlike Shikamaru who had only just found out about Sasuke's proclivity's Itachi and Shisui— and Mari, along with the rest of the family —had found out months ago.

"No one knows so it's not like they can be mean to him."

"I thought he wasn't going to hide who he was anymore," Mari said, "Didn't Obito and Kakashi get through to him?" When Sasuke had told everyone about him and Naruto Obito and Kakashi had spoken to him afterwards about how he shouldn't feel ashamed and feel the need to be in the closest.

"They did. He doesn't. Sasu just doesn't want people in his business," Toshiko explained; she'd talked to her brother and Naruto about their relationship since finding out about them and hiding what they had, had never been about being ashamed or scared of how others would react, it'd been about keeping it for themselves.

Sasuke had compared what they had to the garden their mother once kept; at the time— having never been in a relationship —she hadn't quite understood what he'd meant by You nurture relationships like you nurture plants but then her and Shikamaru had gone from friends to more and she'd understood.

You couldn't just rush into something when you cared about the other; you couldn't just pot a tomato plant in the middle of winter because you wanted the produce for your next dinner. You had to be patient nd grow it the plant inside where it could be cared for until the weather changed and the plant could be take outside.

"You're sure?" Mari asked anxiously, as she moved to take the vegetables out of the oven. She placed them on the counter, "He's not just saying that?"

"I'm sure, he and Naruto really just want to keep what they have to themselves at the moment. The minute they don't though I'm sure not even Minato-sama will be able to stop Naruto from yelling about it from every rooftop." Mari smiled; she liked Naruto. Everyone did but Naruto was so much like Shisui and Obito— happy and kind —that it was hard not to smile when thinking about him.

"How are you though How's classes?" Mari was studying to become a dentist.

"Great! I got an A on my last project, I had to create a replica of the mouth so Deidara, that friend I told you about? He came over to help me make one out of clay." Toshiko congratulated Mari as the elder of the two females set the dry noddle's they would eat for dinner into the pot of broth so that would cook. Toshiko didn't bother to ask why neither Itachi or Shisui had helped Mari because like every Uchiha— in probably the history of their family's line —the two of them were inept at design and crafts.

Toshiko looked away from Mari and the simmering food when Shikamaru walked into the kitchen. His hands were buried in his pockets and though his face was pale the tips of his ears were pink.

"You're alive!" Mari joked. Shikamaru grumbled something that sounded like Troublesome as he ducked his head; Mari laughed loudly at his response; when he poked his head up and looked at Mari though his lashes. Boyfriend or not, Toshiko wasn't sure she would ever not be jealous over how gorgeous Shikamaru's eyelashes were.

"Do you need any help in here?" He asked.

"No, not really, everything's either done or almost done here. I did most of the work while you were all on your way," Mari said, and Shikamaru— for as manly as he liked to say he was —practically pouted, his eyes flickered back towards the living room. Toshiko bit her lip; "Is everything set up out there?" Mari wondered.

"Yeah," Shikamaru nodded, "We moved the futon against the far left wall so the table could be in the middle of the room."

"Good," Mari said, "You can stay in here if you want, I'm going change before Sela gets here. Toshi?"

"Yes?"

"Make sure to stir the noodles so they stick."

"Got it!" Toshiko flashed Mari a thumbs up; Mari winked at Toshiko before patting Shikamaru on the shoulder as she passed him. Once she had vanished Shikamaru had only managed to take two steps towards Toshiko before Itachi emerged from the living-slash-dinning room and into the kitchen, causing Shikamaru's back to straighten and his chest to puff out ever so slightly.

Itachi tried to hide it as he moved towards the refrigerator but he smirked; it was the same kind of smirk Sasuke wore whenever he won something, game or argument. It was small but irksome because of just how prideful it was; Toshiko's eyes narrowed at her brother before momentarily flickering over to Shikamaru. Rolling them— and as Itachi bent into the fridge so that he could grab the cranberry juice —Toshiko grabbed Shikamaru's hand in hers and stepped forward as she was half sure Shikamaru would try to fight her if she went to pull him closer to her.

Shikamaru's eyes widened; Toshiko could practically hear him screeching, What are you doing!

Itachi straightened and turned with the cranberry juice in hand only for his eyes to narrow at the sight of Toshiko and Shikamaru. Toshiko didn't smirk at her brother but instead smiled far to innocently to be anything but troublesome; the pair of siblings maintained eye contact for a moment and then another before Itachi heaved out a sigh.

"I'm keeping my door open tonight," Itachi said tersely as he grabbed a glass. "And oba-san is never to find out about this."

"No duh I want to live to be thirty thank you," Toshiko rolled her eyes. She looked at Shikamaru, "I think oba-san is scarier then your mom."

Shikamaru's head jerked back, "No way."

"Oh yeah," Toshiko said, she turned so that with her free hand she could stir the noodles she'd been neglecting. "There's a reason ōoji-san never even offered her help raising Shisui after his father died."

"And that is?"

"He's scared of her," Toshiko said. A look of complete and utter disbelief— though it could have easily been horror —overtook Shikamaru's face.

"No way." Itachi hummed from where he was against the sink, sipping his cranberry juice. "Holy shit." There was a beat of silence, "I think I want to go home."

Toshiko's elbow shot out and hit Shikamaru in the stomach only to jump when a knock came from behind the front door. Toshiko spun and glared at Itachi as if to accuse him of talking her up. And with the way Itachi bowed his head and allowed a metaphorical raincloud form over him, the same thought— Sela was on the other side of the door because he had brought her up —had crossed his mind.

"Ma's here!" Shisui called out as he moved from where ever he'd been sitting to the front door. He threw open the front door and without giving his mother a moment to breathe— or rather, berate him over his hair or clothing, or because he hadn't been calling as much as he should since moving out and in with Itachi and Mari —Shisui wrapped the woman in a tight bear-hug. It was clear that Sela had been lifted off her feet.

Toshiko fought back a smile as, after turning off the stove—the noodles had finished and everything else was done cooking —she moved forward, pulling Shikamaru behind her and leaving Itachi to follow in their wake.

"Uchiha Shisui, put me down right now!" Sela hissed from her sons arms. Laughing, Shisui said as his mother said only to quickly put his hands up in front of him as he went to protect himself from Sela's swatting.

"Ma!" Shisui whined as he ducked his mothers half hearted strikes.

"Oba-san!" Toshiko cheered, haven taken pity on Shisui. Sela paused mid-swat and turned to Toshiko; Sela looked older then Toshiko remembered her looking, which while obvious— people got older, it was how life worked —was startling. The last time Toshiko had seen Sela she'd been eleven and Sela hadn't looked a day over thirty-five; back then her hair had been thick and dark and there hadn't a wrinkle to be seen. Three years later Sela's hair, though still thick, had turned ashy and wrinkles not only littered her face but skin hung from her chin and her spine curved outwards, hunching her shoulders up and her neck forward.

"Toshiko-chan," Sela greeted with wide open arms. Toshiko didn't hesitate in letting go of Shikamaru's hand so that she could hug her aunt; Sela's hug was light and fleeting, not caging and lingering like Shisui's or sturdy and reassuring like Itachi's but rather quick and over as soon as it started. Sela's hands cupped Toshiko's face. "You've put on weight."

Toshiko's eyes widened, "No I haven't!"

"Yes you have, your face is fatter then I remember," Sela said. Toshiko pouted, not pointing out that the last time Sela had seen her she's been pre-pubescent. Sela scanned Toshiko up and down, scrutinizing her clothing, "You look cute though, who took you shopping for this?" Sela wondered, pointing at Toshiko's top.

Toshiko looked down at her clothing, a simple sweater and jeans; she shrugged.

"Ino and Sakura probably?" Though with how conservative the sweater was— the dusty pink neckline poked up, over her throat while the sweaters knitted sleeves stopped at her knuckles and the actual hem of the sweater hung around Toshiko's thighs —it could have easily been Hinata as both Ino and Sakura, more then likely, would have picked something tighter and shorter.

"You should go out with them more, they picked well."

"Thanks oba-san," Toshiko said, she half turned so that she could hold an arm out in Shikamaru's direction; "Oba-san, this is Shika, I know I've told you about him before."

"Yes, yes, I would like his mother," Sela flapped her hand in Toshiko's direction, Shikamaru stepped up and presented Sela with an outstretched hand.

"Uchiha-sama," Shikamaru said respectfully, "It's nice to meet you."

Slowly, with lips pursed together— sizing Shikamaru up —Sela took his hand in hers and shook it. "You're older, right?"

"Yes ma'am."

"Toshiko says you're a genius." Toshiko, knowing she had, more then once told her aunt about Shikamaru's genius, pinkened. Even before she had realized her feeling for him she'd been able to talk for hours about him; which— back then —probably, should have an eye opener. No one, no matter how much they cared about their friend could talk for hours about someone who was just their friend, especially when for a good portion of those hours they were describing how much they liked holding said, supposed friends hand or seeing them smile.

"I am," Shikamaru nodded.

"But you're not in university?" Sela's brow raised.

"My parents didn't think I was ready emotionally." Her brow fell flat, once more her face smoothened out impassively.

"What do you want to study in school?"

"Math," Shikamaru said, automatically, "And probably minor in political science, my ol-er," Shikamaru floundered, "My dad, is pushing me to get a job at his office once I get my degree."

"And what dose your father do?" Shikamaru's shoulder twitched. Just like no one actually knew what Obito did, no one knew what Nara Shikaku did either; sure they Konoha employees— and sure Nohara Rin, who worked along side Obito always said the job was important to the village —but that was as far as anyone outside of Rin and Obito and Nara Shikaku's office knew.

"Shikaku-sama is Obito-nii's boss," Toshiko said, interrupting. "And Yoshino-sama, she's a stay at home mom but before that she used to work as a nurse, which is pretty cool, right oba-san."

"Not a doctor?"

"It was the seventies," Shikamaru shrugged, "Besides my mom says nurses are the ones who run the hospital, they're just not the ones stuck with all that extra medical school debt." At that Sela's lips twitched. Toshiko knew it, if Yoshino and Sela ever got the chance to meet they'd get along like a house and fire; well but terrible for anyone around.

"Mama!" Mari cheered. Toshiko spun to find her cousins girlfriend exiting her and Shisui's bedroom. Mari had changed not only her hair style but also out of the overalls and into a long dark skirt; she'd taken her hair out of their braids and thrown it into a low hanging ponytail while tucking her sweater into it and with giving her a less child-like look and instead resembling the fashion style of an older woman.

"Mari-chan!" Toshiko blinked as Sela beamed; she watched as the two hugged, swaying side from side. Sela loved her and not even she had gotten that warm of a welcome. Toshiko shot Itachi and then Shisui confuzzled looks.

Mari, Shisui fingerspelt— his sign langue was clumsy and slow after years of not having to use it, but comprehensible —Can give her babies.

Toshiko supposed her cousin meant grandbabies— grandchildren —and just hadn't known the sign and supposed that, that made sense, Shisui was her only child and Mari was most defiantly the woman he would marry.

When Mari and Sela separated Mari held onto Sela's forearms, "Do you want anything to drink? Water? Tea? We have some sake?"

"Water is fine dear. Toshiko?"

"Yes Oba-san?"

"Why don't you and the boy—" The Boy, could have been worse, "—Set the table while Shisui brings out the food."

"And what about 'Tachi?" Shisui asked, Sela shot him an unimpressed look.

"Itachi will be sitting and not over exerting himself, we don't need him getting sick again!" Itachi smiled kindly at his and Toshiko's aunt, his hands up in front of him,

"I don't think that's how cancer works oba-san," Itachi said. Toshiko almost laughed at her brother as Sela frowned; not even Sasuke was stupid enough to argue with her and their brother was known for being socially inept enough it phyically hurt at times.

"Are you trying to argue with me?"

"No!"

"Good! Now hold my arm so I can get these shoes off." Itachi's shoulders fell as he nodded. The last thing Toshiko saw before turning the kitchen corner was her brother as he took Sela's arm in his hands so that he could steady her as she went to slip her chunky Sketchers sneakers off.

Shikamaru, as Toshiko went to grab the plates and Shisui and Mari snickered between themselves— Mari began to plate the food so that Shisui could take it to the table —leaned in close to Toshiko.

"I think you're right," Shikamaru sagged, "She might actually be scarier then my mom."

With a calico smirk and an impish glint in her eyes, Toshiko looked up at her boyfriend; "Oh I know."

Shikamaru shot Toshiko a slightly dry look before he twisted a long dark lock between his fingers. "Troublesome," he muttered and though, usually you weren't supposed to feel delighted when called that, Toshiko felt her insides warm at the title.

And perhaps if she didn't love Shikamaru as much as she did she would have thrown caution to the wind—disregarded her cousin and his girlfriend completely —and kissed him. But she did, so instead of pressing her lips against his, as her heart swooped in her chest and she swallowed her words, Toshiko simply thanked whatever deity was watching over her.

Perhaps her parents were dead, and maybe her family was splintered across the country—maybe Madara was right and the Uchiha were cursed —but she had met Shikamaru and while maybe he didn't make everything better all the time, he made it easier.

More bearable.

He made Toshiko happier in this world then she would be in one without him and that was enough. He was enough.


A/N: So sorry this chapter took FOREVER to get out, I've just been so, so busy but once the semester is over I should be able to get the last of the story out because I'll be on winter break and I'm not allowed to work more then three days a week (cause, you know, my boss is a dick and has since found out I'm unionizing).

Anyway before I sign off: RaeningNV, thank you for not only my first comment on this story but like one that drove me to tears because of how happy I was over it. Your comment is actually what caused me to get started on this chapter and is really the driving force behind me finishing it now and not after the semester because anytime I felt unmotivated I really just re-read what you left me.

And gogominjo, thank you for your comment, you two are amazing!

Anyway hope you guys liked this chapter and since I won't be back until after the new year happy holidays guys! And if you did like the chapter, feel free to leave a comment down below and if you haven't already follow and favorite!