Yuffie's Plan Chapter 2


She was a shadow. Blending in with the surroundings, she crept down the darkened hallway, making sure to move quickly, but stealthily. It wasn't too difficult. She was used to this. After all, she was only the best in this game. She looked around her for any threats or signs of danger. Nothing. 'Excellent' she thought to herself, letting a slight smirk grace her lovely face. It was all going according to plan. Soon, she will reach her destination, and –

"Yuffie! Why are we sneaking around like this?"

That automatically snapped me out of my thoughts. Alright, I have a vivid imagination, so sue me. That just means I have a very, extremely active brain. Really. How dare he snap me out of my deep reverie! I quickly turned and clamped my hand over his mouth, glaring at him a little for interrupting my little narration. Well, I'm assuming it's a he. You can never be too sure with robots. And knowing Reeve, that weirdo-who-talks-to-and-through-dolls-even-when-he-is-in-the-same-room (Whew, that took quite an effort to say!), you never know.

"Shh!" I hissed, "Do you want everyone to know that we're creeping around?" Some muffled sounds came out of the doll/robot/whatever. I'm quite an expert at muffle-language, after all, I've had years to hone that skill. (I'm practically a professional at this. I could become a teacher. A professor! The only one in the world who has mastered the skill of muffle-language. Not an easy feat, I might add!) Right now, he/she/it seemed to be saying something along the lines of… Oh wait, never mind. I wouldn't like to corrupt your unblemished minds.

In short, he was indignant that I had kidnapped him (How could he use the word kidnap! I did not kidnap him… I merely requested of his presence for a while.) – indignant! Imagine that! – and he was claiming that I had mistreated him. Nonsense! I did nothing of that sort…

Alright, it's true that I had… Picked him up from his room and stuffed him into a big canvas sack. I prefer to think of it as giving him a more comfortable journey. Saves him the walking! Okay, I DID drag him along the floor until we got nearer to my special hiding place – also known as the lavatory (You got that right! That lavatory, not bathroom. How crude.) – and I happened to drag it over a couple of bumps. It wasn't anything really and it certainly wasn't intentional! It's just a coincidence that the floor was covered with marbles because I was playing with them just now (Out of boredom, mind you. I'm not a kid! You take that back this instant.) and that there were some sharp objects (think knives). Yup, pure coincidence. How can Cait Sith be angry with poor young innocent me?

Oh, right. I haven't explained why he's with me in the first place. Didn't I mention that I had a perfect accomplice for my super-duper plan in mind? Yup.

Hey, don't give me that look! So what if he's just a robot. Excuse me? What? Stop laughing! Man, I swear. If I wasn't so tolerant, I would give you a nice, hard punch. Cait Sith is absolutely perfect for the job! He's like the sneakiest one in the group, after me of course, and he'll go along with anything… For a price of course. This is where my dud materia comes in! Hah, I knew it'll come in handy some day. Can you believe that when I wanted to buy it as a child, my dad wouldn't allow me to? He claimed that it was a waste of money. He just didn't realise how great it is, especially in times like this.

When Cait Sith sees that absolutely genuine Bahamut and Odin materia, I'm sure he'll do whatever I want him to. Oh, Yuffie, you genius!

I'm sure you're wondering why Cait Sith is suddenly here. Well, not only is Cait Sith here, but everyone else is as well. Oh, didn't I mention that today was the planned meeting day? Oopsies. Guess I forgot! You should have been there when everyone came! First was Cid, and wow, he had this brand new airship called, uh, Sarra or something like that. (My memory is not going!) Anyway, it so sounds like Shera… Heh. I bet he named it after her, since he always names his ships after someone he knows. Ooh, something to tease him about! (Or blackmail, whichever comes first.)

Next were Cait Sith and Nanaki, because Reeve couldn't come. All the better! Less distraction for Tifa. I mean, you never can be too sure right? I know I would be distracted, seeing that Reeve isn't really all that bad looking. In fact, he can be pretty hot, if you think about it, in that "older man with moustache" kind of way. Besides, he has yummy long hair that could rival Vincent's… Fine, I'll admit it! I had a teeny-weeny crush on him last time. Not anymore! And it was a tiny one, really! (You're giving me that skeptical look again! Stop it or I'll stuff my fake materia down your throat.)

After that, it was just Barret and Marlene and one of the key people in my plan – Vincent! My God, you should have seen him. He still had that cape and bandana but you know what? You know what? He. Took. Off. His. (Vampire) Cape. I swear, if I weren't already in love with Cloud… He was sooo cute. Okay, cute was an understatement. But, nope, Cloud is the only one for me! Vincent may be cute, but that's all he is to me. Believe me! (Did I mention that Marlene was absolutely adorable? And that she had the prettiest necklace.. I wonder how much it's worth if I pawn it or something… OW, watch it! That was my head you were hitting.) Oh, oh! And guess who he greeted first? Yup. Not me, nor Cloud, or any of the guys, but – you guessed it! – Tifa! He said it in that nice low, supple voice he had "Hello, Tifa." Not 'Lockheart' or 'Ms Lockheart' or.. or anything but just 'Tifa'. Awww.

…Well, fine. He said hi to Cloud as well as to everyone else, but the fact that he greeted her first has got to mean something! Alright, alright, so she was the one to meet him at the door and took his cloak and everything and I suppose it's common courtesy to greet the person you see first, but I still believe it meant something. And he had the tiniest of smiles on at that time, which was not present when he greeted the others (well, except Cid, but Cid's a guy! Eww. Well, and Marlene. But Marlene is like 5 and he's 20ish! Or 50ish, if you wanna think that way.) so that's proof right there!

Wow, I sure digress, huh? Back to the present now. Didn't realise that I was standing there for so long with my hand clamped over Cait Sith and Cait Sith was getting more violent by the second. He was now trying to kick me! Imagine that! A poor defenseless girl picked on by a strong robot cat. Oh, the injustice of it all! Hah. Bet I could kick his ass anytime. I shot him another glare and mouthed "Shut it, cat" and quickly ran over to the secret bathroom, carrying him all the way. He wasn't really as heavy as I thought, you know. I was expecting something really HEAVY, but he felt kinda hollowish. Heh, maybe that's why he's so dumb.

When I reached that place, I quickly threw him inside, turned to lock the door, and sat myself down at my favorite place in the bathroom – the bathtub. Thank goodness this was my "personal" bathroom when I was here, so no one else used it but me! Tifa's awesome for giving me this room with the bathroom. Have I ever mentioned how big Tifa's house was? Seriously, it's huge! And it's right next to her bar too. In fact, it's actually connected or something! I went around exploring the day before everyone arrived.

My room is somewhere at the end of this hallway (and it has the awesome bathroom we're currently in) and if you go down the hall, you'll see a couple of rooms at the sides. Let's see. Vincent is in the one furthest from mine, then Cloud's, then Barret's and Marlene's, Cid's, Nanaki's and Cait Sith's (Cait Sith doesn't need to sleep – he just needs to be switched off! It sounds fun. Maybe when I'm bored I could turn him on and off just for kicks). Tifa sleeps in the room just next to mine. And each bedroom has a different design. I have a feeling she decorated them specifically to our tastes.

Like mine is really cool – it's painted green and blue and the bed covers have some wutain words on them, and the lamps are in the shape of materia! I've always wanted something like that. And there's like this cool picture of a ninja hanging over my bed (although it can get a little scary at night, with those piercing eyes of his) and a clock shaped as a shuriken. Man, I really have to ask her where she gets all that! And if you thought mine was cool, you should see the others! Cloud lives here, so his was decorated by himself, but Cid's one has all these airship thingys and lots of techno mumbo-jumbo. Vinnie's is like red and black and just cool and the one that Barret and Marlene shares has all of the drawings that Marlene sends over pasted up. Nanaki's and Cait Sith's is pretty plain, but there are like these tribal things all around. And Cait Sith's side has a lamp with fake gil in it! I really should get Tifa to do up my room back in Wutai.

Ah yes, my plan. I still have yet to tell it to Cait Sith.

"Okay, what I'm about to tell you is strictly confidential, okay? You'd better not tell anyone, Cat, or you're soo gonna be dead meat!" Hah, I had piqued his interest. He nodded and urged me to continue. I started by telling him about my feelings for Cloud (during which he nearly burst out laughing, if not for my Yuffie Glare Number 179 which automatically shut him up) and then about the evidence for Vincent and Tifa and then my super-duper awesome plan.

"…So… What do you think? You want in, or not?" I quickly flashed him the two authentic materia, noticing that his eyes were going to the bulging sides of my pants. (Don't be such a perv! I didn't mean it to sound so… so… like that!) He was immediately drawn to them, but I stopped him with my left hand. "Nuh-uh. No touching until you help me." I gave him my signature Yuffie grin. "So. How about it? Deal?"

He considered a little. Then nodded. "Sounds fun. Vincent and Tifa, huh?" An evil smile slid across his face. Well, as evil as the robot could do. "I'm in."

Perfect! Now all we needed was to work out the little details and our plan would be able to go into motion.


I had a terrible time writing this. Absolutely no inspiration at all, but I felt that I'd left it hanging too long. Hopefully I'll be able to write another soon… Well, some what soon. Again, please review! I'd love to hear your comments. Feel free to point out any mistakes you spot.