Yuffie's Plan Chapter 3
You know, I daydream about him a lot. Heck, I spend nearly every waking moment just thinking about his flawless complexion, that lightly tanned skin, beautifully smooth blond hair, those yummy rippling muscles on his arms… Even the earring on his left ear! I've practically memorised, no, I have memorised his every feature, down to the very last detail.
And, no, I'm not obsessed. No, really, wipe that look off your face before I do it for you!
Back to what I was saying. I daydream, see, about us (if there was ever to be one). You know, stories my dad used to tell me about when I was a kid. Princes on horses (Cloud, of course), beautiful princesses (The lovely me) and all that. It's so romantic, being swept off your feet and carried away on horseback with your beloved prince. Mmm… If only real life were like that…
Heh, the closest I'll ever get to 'horseback' would be Cloud's motorcycle, which I helped to pick out. Oh fine, along with everyone else, but I was the one that brought them there AND picked out a few to choose. Motorcycles are kinda cool though, and I doubt I'd like those silly horses anyway. I'd choose a motorcycle any day. It's WAY faster than a horse, well, at least I think it's faster than a horse…
STOP LAUGHING! So what if I haven't seen a real horse before? Did YOU fight the great, almighty, Mr-I-have-such-nice-silky-hair Sephiroth, hmm? Are YOU a beautiful, powerful ninja princess (princess, you got that?)? Have YOU ever - Alright, alright, I'll stop. But if you laugh again, there will be hell to pay!
See, now you've distracted me and I forgot what I was saying. What's that? Oh, yes, the plan! Heh, Cait and I did the details last night and it's awesome! No, I'm not telling you what's gonna happen. What's the fun in that? You'll just have to see it for yourself. Okay, now let me think… Everyone arrived yesterday, so that leaves me with about a week to get Cloud! Easy peas - Wait! ONE WEEK? Uh oh. That's a really, really, really short time! I'd better get started on it then.
Come on, Yuffie! You can do it, you can do it! Yes! You've gotten out of bed. Alright, now just have to go freshen up a little… AHHH! Who's that monster… in the mirror… Oh, wait, no. That was no monster. Just me. Heh. Did I say monster? I meant, uh, beauty! Yes. Oh, what was that scream for? I was in awe of my beauty, obviously. Du-uh. Alright, that's over and done with. Yuffie, you're a babe. Time to get out there and conquer the world!
Ooh, do you smell that? It smells great! Tifa must be cooking breakfast now. Let me just check the time... 7 am. Not bad. Everyone else (besides Vinnie who, like, never sleeps or something and of course, Tifa and me) should still be asleep. Good, good... Okay, before I start my plan in motion... Friendly, Yuffie smile? Check. Innocent bambi eyes? Check. Great, I'm all prepared!
STEP ONE: Get Tifa to forget Cloud.
Here goes... "Hey, Tifa! Whatcha doing?" Normal, happy tone. Good job, Yuffie.
"Making pancakes for everyone... You want anything special?"
"Nope, that's okay!" Don't sound too suspicious now... Wait a few seconds... One, two... Okay. "Sooo.. What's going on between you and Cloud, huh?" Just a simple question. Right. Just a concerned friend. Uh huh.
Whoops. Did I hit a nerve? Does that mean that they are not... Okay, get a grip on yourself. Don't jump up and cheer. Don't, don't, don't, don't...
"There's nothing between us. He... He said that I'm only a friend and he'll never..." Uh oh. How am I supposed to react? Uh, uh.. Okay. go over there and comfort her. Yes. Hand on back? Perfect. Make some comforting noises now, Yuffie!
"No, no, it's okay. I'm over it now, really. I've even tried dating other guys..." Phew. I suck at situations like these. Never did know how to react in these sort of circumstances. Hey, it's harder than it looks! Alright, back to normal bouncy-happy-Yuffie mode. If they aren't together, then I still have a chance... YES! Poor Tifa though, but no worries. Once I fix up everything and she and Vampy are together, she'll thank me.
"Other guys? Like who?" Heh. Who knows? This information may come in handy later... I gave her my most innocent look that just screamed tellmetellmetellme.
"Alright, so there was this one guy..."
Wow, it seems like Tifa's really gotten to know quite a lot of other people... Damn! If I had known, I would have come for Cloud earlier. Oh well, it's too late for regrets now. All that matters is that I'm here and Cloud's here and Tifa's over Cloud (well, kinda) and Vinnie is well, available, as always... So life is great and everything is awesome, whoopee. Now if only Cloud could declare his undying love for me, everything would be perfect.
Am I not making sense here? I don't think I am, but I'm just so deliriously happy (Did I just use the word deliriously? Mark this day in history, boys and girls, as the great Yuffie has once again scored a major vocabulary achievement!) that I don't care whether I do make sense or not, not like anyone really cares anyway because most of the time I talk so fast I don't think they can really hear me and whoa that was a really really really long sentence.
Phew. Okay, MISSION ONE ACCOMPLISHED! God, I sound like those video games, you know, where at the end of the mission, there's always some music that goes dum-dum-da-dum or something and then this awesome, low voice goes "Mission Accomplished" and more dum-dum-da-dum music plays. Just between you and me, but I personally love those games. Especially the one over at the Wutain arcade-
Oh right, rambling again. You can't blame me, because I'm just so freaking happy! I could kiss Cid or something... No, wait, on second thoughts... Eh, maybe not Cid (the cigarettes, you know). But you know what I mean!
"Yuffie? Yuffie..?" Oh, great. Tifa's looking at me weirdly again.
Scratching the back of my head, I laugh. "Sorry, guess I got lost in my thoughts again. Are the pancakes done yet? I'm starved!" I love Tifa's cooking. She's awesome, you know. She can cook up anything, anywhere. Hell, she even makes vegetables taste good and everyone knows how much Yuffie hates, abhors, despises vegetables. Especially those silly stick-like things with the leaves on top. Celery or something. Always thought that was a silly name and oh yes, I'm talking too much yet again. Correction, thinking too much.
"Here you go!"
I take a bit of the fluffy pancake. They are really good! Hah. Too bad you can't try it. "Mmm... Tifa, you're amazing!" Well, that was what I was trying to say but with my mouth filled with pancake and syrup, it turned out more like "Mmmfff... Triifer yourgem maiizhging". Could pass off as German, actually, if you don't listen to it long enough.
After I finished off my pancakes (I took six! I'm such a pig.), I helped Tifa set the table and put my dirty plate in the sink. Then the both of us sat down at the table and talked a little more.I wonder where everybody is.. It's already 8! Oh well, maybe they're just sleeping in or something. No biggie. More time for Tifa and I to talk. (And more time for me to convince her that Vinnie is the one and only she's been looking for her whole life!)
I put on my mischevious-Yuffie look and turn towards her. "Hey, Tifa, have you seen Vinnie around anywhere?" It's called tactics, honey. Don't ask her the question straight up or she'll know that you're up to something! Build it up, that's it.
"I think he went out for a walk. He walked by the kitchen as I was preparing breakfast."
"Oh, I see..." What now? Oh, so Tifa, don't you think he's just so hot? Nah, that won't work. I think you and Vinnie make such a cute couple? Uh, no. How about... "I don't know how you can have conversations with him, you know? Everytime I go up to him he's like all 'ohmygodgetawayfromme' and then he gives me that look. You know the one that goes 'Yuffie-you-are-an-annoying-brat-leave-me-alone'? Yeah, that one. It's scaaary, I tell you! But he never ever does that to you..." I pause to take a breath. "It's so unfair! How do you do it, Tif?" Pouty Yuffie look, yup, there you go, girl...
"He's actually a pretty nice person, Yuffie. You just have to be patient with him." Patient? Hah! I've been very patient... Really... (Shut up, you.) "He's had quite a bad past, so he's rather wary around people. That's just the way he acts. He's not that bad, you know?" Yeah, yeah, yeah... Standing up for him already, Tifa? Not bad! This is going even better than I thought.
"I suppose... Alright! I'm gonna go out to town for a bit, just to look around." And maybe find Vinnie and do some investigating... "See ya!" I wave to Tifa and bound off towards the door...
...And bang into something big and hard. "Oww... My head..." Damn, it hurts. What or who did I bump into anyway? A pillar? Oh wait, Tifa's house doesn't have pillars.
"Hey, Yuffie, you ok?"
Ohhh no. That better not be who I think it is...
Haven't updated for AGES! I hope this chapter was satisfactory. :) Sorry, no Cloffie (or whatever it's called) action yet.
